Issuu

N.17 / V.46

nexus magazine

EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

CONTENTS

DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY

—

MANAGING EDITOR JAMES RAFFAN

_03

Editorial

_04

Lettuce to the Editor

_05

News

_08

News from the University

_09

Sport

_10

Ridiculist & Vox Pops

_11

Reviews

_14

Honest Matt

_15

Horoscopes & Playlist

_16

Auteur

_17

Arts and Stuff

_18

What is this Election about?

_19

Candidate Bios

CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD KARL GUETHERT LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAUREN BARNARD LAURENCE MCLEAN AARON LETCHER DARCIE TEE SHIP MATT HICKS SARA LEMME GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY PHOTOGRAPHY ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS BECKI MOSS PHILLIP WONG ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

_28 Columns

OFFICES GROUND FLOOR

_39

Advice

STUDENT UNION BUILDING GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON ONLINE

_40 Notices _41 Recipe

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nexusmag.co.nz

_42 Puzzles

PHOTOGRAPH: ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS

nexus magazine

EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT

— ’ve come to the conclusion this week that I’m an artist. I admit it.

making much money?”

I’m probably never going to be a rich career woman, and when I

Mind. Blown. Exactly this. Sometimes success doesn’t mean piles

think about it, that was never really on my agenda. I just want to

of cash. Sometimes success cannot be measured in dollars and

be happy. And you know what makes me happy? Writing. Riding my

cents. Sometimes, in my opinion anyway, success means a hell of a

horse. Dancing in my underwear. Eating chocolate. Teaching people

lot more than having a fat bank account.

stuff. And while money is required to do some of these things, a big

I’m living the dream right now. My job is writing. My other job is

pile of it really isn’t necessary. It would be nice (oh god, would it be

teaching. I have time in my life to ride my horse and dance and plan

nice) but it’s not necessary. So I guess that’s why I’m feeling okay

ridiculous creative adventures. I’m surrounded by creative people

about my current non-plan.

being creative. And yes, I’d like a new horse float. And yes, I’d like

A couple of weeks ago my Dad’s side of the family had a get-

some rad new jeans. And yes, I’d like to have a holiday in Japan, or

together. All the cousins were there with their insta-families, smugly

Canada, or Scotland or Brisbane. But do I need those things to be

staring at my childlessness, my aunties and uncles were there in

happy?

their flash cars, and my grandparents were there, picking out new

I’m honestly not sure.

linoleum for their kitchen. Again. Someone asked the dreaded ques-

But what I do know for certain is that without writing, without

tion about what the point to all this university stuff is. A.k.a- why am

teaching, without riding my horse and without dancing- I am abso-

I wasting my time at university when I could be jet setting, earning

lutely miserable. I’ve found people who will pay me small amounts

truckloads or popping out babies. I patiently explained… again… and

of money to do these things, and I’m breaking even. Now I just need

was blown out of the water when my Dad turned to me and said, “So

to find someone who wants to pay me heaps of money to do those

what you’re saying is, you’re actually really successful, you’re just not

things, and we’re onto a winner.

LETTUCE

nexus magazine

Holding out for a Hero BRO

at the point this was referring to, the pizza wasn't even in the room. Thirdly, the "woman who had spent most of the meeting trying to speak against the changes" didn't actually walk out. She stood by the door, still in the room, yelling abuse at Aaron Letcher and the Board of Directors. The "30-odd students, predominantly Maori" left the room

Many students come to this university with aspirations of higher learning and becoming more cultured; whatever the fuck that means. Frankly I just came here to sink legend amounts of piss a la fraternity style reminiscent of every american college movie ever. And while my own individual efforts have been respectable I feel as though I could always learn more, and become more bro than any bro before, yet I'm lacking a brofessor- someone with a degree in brology. Sure that Jules cunt is pretty frothy and got a good yarn or five on him but I need someone who can teach me all the ways of the bro. Shit like how to pull 100% from town, how to maximize bicep gains at the gym, and of course, how

not because they agreed with the person who allegedly tried to "speak" against the changes (I don't recall her speaking once. She yelled, attacked and abused, but never spoke) but because they couldn't hear Aaron chairing the meeting. This resulted in them not knowing what they were voting on, therefore meaning they were uncomfortable voting at all. And that's what I came up with after a quick glance. While I don't expect better from Nexus, I would have hoped that you'd at least be fair to the organisation that runs you. Sure, no one could say Nexus isn't editorially independent after this farce (and the one about the SGM process), but come on, this is pathetic.

to do the 5-star skill move that is the keg-stand. Nexus, please seek out an ultimate bro to write for ya so we can

WTF WSU

get some testosterone up in this bitch.

A REAL STUDENT

Average at best? ANONYMOUS

How nice it is to see student politics emulating National Politics. Just like the National Party, President Aaron Letcher has lost touch with what actual human beings

Why is it that the people complaining not only talk shit in their complaints, but also never actually try and fix the situation. Let's take the WSU SGM. In your average-at-best magazine, there was an article about the SGM. Aside from the many, many grammatical errors (remind me why you

expect in terms of governance. The SGM was a farce, and the fact that he describes it as “extremely positive” is both laughable and a complete disgrace. With any luck, both the National Party and their WSU Presidential whipping boy will disappear into their own egos and stop fucking everything up after the election.

have an editor?) and the inability of a magazine owned by the WSU to a) correctly give the title of a member of the Board of Directors and b) actually get some

DISCLAIMER: Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

nexusmag.co.nz

comment from the President, who works in the same office. Yeah, believe it or not, a member of the Board of

Body Shaming is Not Cool.

Directors is not known as a "board of director". I also take issue with the fact that whoever wrote the

ANONYMOUS

article didn't have the balls to put their name to it. Not that it matters, given it was beyond obvious, but still, a bit of honesty would be a great place to start. Talking of honesty, I'd like to point out a few things. Firstly, "when the board silenced one Maori students' concerns"... Um, that's bullshit. One member of the board proposed a motion. The SGM overwhelmingly voted in favour of that motion. Secondly, apparently Aaron continually said he wanted to get through the meeting "so people could eat pizza". Not only do I not remember him doing that once, but

Fatties, can i have your attention please. It would do you good to take the stairs in the library rather than the elevator. Are you not ashamed of yourself? You are disgusting to look at and a drain on my future tax paying money. Drop that extra cheeseburger and downsize to a small drink. Thank you

nexus magazine

To the Wild Banshee Woman at the SGM

NEWS

ANONYMOUS

When you began to speak it reminded me of a meeting that you attended 3 years ago. Word for word. You have been doing this for a while. Do you have a script? Could it be that you get your enjoyment from acusing, blame and personally insulting people at the top of your lungs? We had two weeks to review the WSU Constitution in the context of what we were agreeing on in the meeting. And what we agreed on would be put into practice next year. And the meeting was well advertised. Yelling and Screeching did not represent the Moari people, only your agenda.

Chur ANONYMOUS

Johnny R Ryan likes his gangsta rap Drop the cliques and all that crap Walk’n ground zero, outcast be pound’n

GREEN CARD SARA LEMME

—

Lay so many rhymes, shit sound’n like an albulm But what does he know bout leadership Appoint that boy, you high as shit Always sit’n round saying chur to the bros Help’n strangers out like no-one knows Prob flirt’n up a storm tryna get his in’s Takin girls out to the flashest dins House five dollar pizzas, take the hint 20 dollar bank, far that shit’s mint If I were I chicka I wouldn’t be complaining Rotorua rep, his dick be flaming No don’t get me wrong it’s not HIV It’s that rapid thrusting, stings like a bee Ko wai te kura, that Rukura flair Working hard through the summer like a dam bear And just like a bear, dudes working for the honey Livin a poor student life just to make the money Who am I kiddin, sounds great for the job Fits in well, with that WSU mob Not that I really care about all that political jam Just shout’n out to another good old honest man Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

The Green Party announced a free off-peak public

Greens have pointed to the success of the Palmerston

transport plan for tertiary students last week, to a mixed

North transport scheme for students and staff which has

reception. The Greens have proposed a Student Green Card which will be available for all tertiary students including

provided them with unlimited free bus travel city-wide since 2004, and increased student usage of buses by 38% with car trips being cut in half.

those training through New Zealand Apprenticeships,

Green Party Co-leader Dr Russel Norman said that

however, beneficiaries will not be eligible. As anyone

“students are facing rising living cost pressures; trans-

who is a student, regardless of their financial situation,

port, food, power, rent, but often have very restricted

is eligible a number of people are claiming it is just pan-

income. The Student Green Card is a way of helping to

dering to students for votes.

reduce costs to help students make ends meet.”

The main tagline for this scheme is that it will cost

Off-peak hours are between 9am and 3pm and after

“less than the cost of one kilometre of one of National’s

6.30pm and also include weekends and public holidays.

motorway projects.” The Student Green Card would be

Major benefits seem to therefore extend to those who

funded by reprioritising funding from the National Land

are timetable-lucky without 9am or earlier classes, those

Transport Fund with the estimated yearly cost being

who don’t mind being late to class, and those who want

between $20-30 million. The Greens have stated that

to use the bus for purposes outside of tertiary education.

they also plan to look at extending the service to sec-

Not so much use to young people doing apprentice-

ondary and primary school students, beneficiaries, and

ships on site early in the morning until 5pm or those in

in the long term, cutting public transport fares for all.

tech-like full day courses. But then again, it’s more than

The New Zealand Universities Student Association

the nothing Waikato students have in that regard now,

conducted a survey in 2011 that found, of the 67% of

where car trips are more convenient and cheaper than

students using public transport, the average spent was

busing. Fuck you, Busit.

about $35.40 per week, rising to $40.50 in Auckland. The

nexus magazine

POETRY COMPETITION PRESS REALEASE

— Rhyme and verse make a welcome return to the Garden Place Library this month as the city’s central library celebrates National Poetry Day. A long-time supporter of National Poetry Day, the Garden Place Library will host two community-focussed events on 22 August - the Spoken Word Slam and an Open Mic Night. Tracy Robinson, Hamilton City Libraries’ Community Outreach Librarian, says the two events give poets both young and old a chance to express their art form in front of an audience. "Reciting poetry takes skill, practice and courage," Mrs Robinson says. "It’s a performance, of sorts, and a talent that can sometimes be lost in our digital and online world."

CONFLICT MOVES TO LEBANON GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY

—

Ms Robinson says the two events will run at the same time in different parts of the library, so audience members and poets can be involved in both. The Spoken Word Slam begins at 6.30pm on Level 1 of the Garden Place Library, and is supported by Hamilton Slamdown Poetry, youth organisation Te Ahurei a Rangatahi and community broadcaster Free FM. There are two categories, Young

Fighting with the extremist Islamic State group spilled into another country as the Lebanese town of Arsal was seized last Saturday. The Lebanese Army has reported at least a dozen soldiers killed, and several appear to have been captured by the militants. The fighting erupted after the Army arrested militant leader Imad Ahmad Jomaa, whose followers swiftly seized the town in retaliation. This drew in the allied Islamic State group, which has already gained large swathes of territory in neighbouring Syria and Iraq. “Let them release our leader and we are ready to pull out from all over the town,” reported one of Jomaa’s deputies. “Or else we will escalate and expand and we will ask for more demands.” The Lebanese Army vowed to force them out “within 48 hours” while Prime Minister Tammam Salam ruled out negotiations with the group. “There is no political solution with extremist groups who are manipulating the Arab communities under religious obscurantism and strange titles, seeking to transfer their sick acts into Lebanon,” he said in a televised statement. The spread of the conflict to Lebanon could be disastrous for the country, which is strongly divided between different religious communities. The militant Shia group Hezbollah—granddaddies of suicide bombing—have already pledged their support for the Army in driving out the Sunni invaders. The Islamic State swept to power over large parts of Northern and Western Iraq earlier this year and is currently battling the Iraqi military. It had previously been based in Syria, and yearns to create a new Caliphate to rule a global Islamic empire. The group adopts an ultra-fundamentalist interpretation of Sunni Islam similar to that of al-Qaeda and the Taliban. In fact, al-Qaeda kicked them out of their own organisation for being too extreme!

nexusmag.co.nz

Adults (under 18) and Open, with prizes including Movie Money, mentoring from a spoken word expert, and a Samsung Galaxy tablet. The Poets Alive Open Mic Night begins at 7pm on Level 1, and gives experienced or novice poets a chance to recite verse. Participants can read two poems each, either their own or another poet’s work. Poetry from the Libraries’ collection will also be available on the night for those who want to give poetry reading a go. Entry to both events is free. Participants can register on the night or via email - hamiltoncitylibraries@hcc.govt.nz

nexus magazine

BONNIE AND BONNIE JR SHORT NEWS

— A mother daughter trio of bandits have been caught by police after an anonymous tip-off. Their crime was theft…from a charity box. The charity box was raising funds for a sick schoolgirl to have a trip to Disneyland and when Campbell Live ran the story, the Crimestoppers line received a call identifying the two. The 41-yearold and 20-year-old women were also facing a large number of other charges not related to the theft. Senior Constable Jake van Selm of the Waikato Tactical Crime Unit encouraged others to tattle on offenders by calling 0800 555 111 anytime anonymously. Safer communities together.

WHYTE IS NOT RIGHT SHORT NEWS

— Normally an Act Party candidate quitting politics over allegations of racism wouldn’t be a story except this time the candidate is accusing the party of being racist. Guy McCallum Dunedin North candidate, and current Vice-President of Act on Campus, pulled the pin because of his leaders “One Nation” speech. How bad was the speech? Dame Susan Devoy thought it was racist and she has been the reigning “whitest woman in New Zealand” since 1987. She is the Race Relations Commissioner appointed by the National government,

EXTREME STUNTMAN HURDLE JUMPER CAUGHT BY DOG SARA LEMME

—

which is a pretty white government. When the crazy white guys think you’re too crazy and white you need to take a long hard look at what

A 3am high speed car chase last week in Hamilton has led to the discovery of Hamilton’s very own

you’re saying.

potential world-class hurdles jumper.

What was so bad anyway? Whyte compared Maori privilege to that

The car chase began on Kahikatea Drive and ended an hour later when the driver abandoned his

of “Aristocratic France before the revolution.” That was the revolu-

car by jumping out of the still moving vehicle and going on to participate in what Senior Sergeant

tion where all the aristocrats got their heads chopped off and Anne

Rupert Friend described as “an outstanding track.”

Hathaway was a singing dead prostitute. Jamie Whyte was basically saying the revolution is coming and it became news when one of his own party said you have gone too far

The 30-year-old man was followed into the suburban areas by a tracking dog and handler for about 50 minutes, where he appeared to have jumped some 70-80 property fences. Friend was impressed that the tracking dog and handler managed to find him after so long given the conditions.

man. What should be news here is that the rest of his party, Colin

The extreme stuntman hurdle jumping crim was a disqualified driver and was also breaching bail

Craig, John Key and the entire country haven’t turned around and

by driving the car in the first place, let alone at speeds of up to 105kmh. The dog and handler, who

said either calm down or leave the country because that is fucked up.

kept up with the man the entire time did not want publicity over the tracking.

nexus magazine

NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY

FREE AND UNCAPPED INTERNET IS COMING… — From 6 September you can upload, download, surf and stream as much as you like without having to worry about data caps. The University of Waikato is introducing a new free and unlimited internet service for all students, available on campus (including Tauranga) via the computer labs or WiFi. Halls of Residence students will continue to receive an

DON'T GET BIT-TEN: HOW SAFE ARE YOU ONLINE?

Lightwire will continue to be available throughout the cam-

—

to all students off-campus including the CBD, DHB and key

additional monthly 2GB data allowance for in-hall use and

pus as a paid-for service, and will continue to be available

public areas. Please note there will be no refunds for any

The Winter Lecture Series continues this Wednesday 13 August with a look at cyber security, a market that

Lightwire top-up internet cards already purchased.

is expected to grow to US$94 billion by 2017. With an increased reliance on computing devices and environments such as cloud computing, are we exposed to higher risks? Just how safe is our information in this brave new world? Join NetSafe CE and digital safety advocate Martin Cocker; head of the UoW’s Cyber Security Lab Dr Ryan Ko; and online legal expert and Law Senior Lecturer Wayne Rumbles on how to enhance your digital safety. The Winter Lecture Series runs each Wednesday evening in August, from 6-7pm in the Academy. All lectures are free and open to the public.

3MT ON AGAIN — Prizes and kudos are on offer again in this year’s Three Minute Thesis (3MT) competition for research students. Entries are now open and close 5 September for the 3MT heats and final. Visit waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/3mt/ index.shtml to enter.

TOYOTA GRADUATE PROGRAMME ON CAMPUS WEDNESDAY —

JOIN THE CREW! BECOME A STUDENT AMBASSADOR IN 2015 — Know your Faculty? Want to improve your presentation skills? Like working with people and want a flexible role that works around your study? Student Recruitment is looking for a group of enthusiastic students to be paid Student Ambassadors for 2015. Student Ambassadors represent the University at events around

nexusmag.co.nz

If you’re driven and ambitious, Toyota’s three-year Graduate

the country, speaking with prospective students and their

Programme could be just what you’re looking for. Come

parents, about everything Waikato has to offer.

along and find out more on Wednesday 13 August at 4pm

Applications close 12 September at 5pm.

in ELT.

unipr.waikato.ac.nz/student-ambassadors

nexus magazine

DOUBLE STANDARDS OF NEW ZEALAND ‘SPORT FANS’ AND THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES. SPORTS GUY

— While watching the Commonwealth Games last month, something really started to really bug me. In most disciplines engaged in at the games, New Zealand is beyond stoked to just get a medal; bronze and silver medals are celebrated as if they were gold by the athletes and the media. Don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy for the athletes to react this way to winning

SPORTS GUY’S TAB TIPS – LINE BETTING.

a medal at the games; but I don’t agree with the media doing this only to

SPORTS GUY - OPINION

drop this view when it comes to the Rugby 7s.

—

Not long ago I saw a meme on some Facebook page of photos from the last Olympics. The top was a Chinese gymnast crying because they only got a silver; the bottom was the NZ equestrian team partying up a storm because they got a bronze with the caption (I believe it was) ‘Only in New Zealand’. After a brief laugh I realised the caption should have read “Only in New Zealand unless you’re the Rugby Sevens team in which case you’ve failed if you don’t win the gold medal”. Sure that’s way too long to be a caption,

In recent weeks, line betting has become a good friend of mine at the TAB. Before then I had never thought to even consider using it – and I don’t know anyone else who does. Line betting works especially well in a multi bet, so if you like to have a punt from now and then you should look into using it.

but, sadly, a much more realistic voice of our nation. So after hearing countless people saying “we haven’t lost in 5 games’. This

Essentially, line betting is giving one team a handicap; the

is unacceptable” or “what a fail by the Sevens team”, I would just like to

outsider will be plus however many runs/goals/points, and

say that you can’t win everything all the time. This is something that people

the favourite will be minus. In rugby on league, you are

need to understand, especially bandwagon fans who only ‘take an interest’

often given a number of choices for each team. In sports like

in a sport during a big event. I don’t recall there being a big fuss over South

baseball and football you are only given one option for each

Africa winning the 2009/10 Sevens circuit title, and there doesn’t need to

team. I’ve been using line betting for baseball recently, in

be this time. Be stoked with the silver like we are with every other sport

which the line is always +1.5 for the outsider and -1.5 for the

at the games.

favourite. In a lot of cases, the favourite at -1.5 pays around the $2.00 - $2.70 range. Although giving your team this disadvantage, it is a good way of beefing up your multi on a game such as the Oakland Athletics vs the Texas Rangers this season (A’s have the best record, Rangers are the worst). Simply put, if you’re confident in a team thrashing another team, or in one team losing but only by a little, use a line bet in your next multi to bulk up your pay out. Good luck out there, kids, and if you are having a punt, do so responsibly.

nexus magazine

RIDICULIST

VOX POPS

Actual questions submitted to yahoo answers.

Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.

1 “My girl swallowed after oral now I’m worried she get pregnant. I bought her laxatives but don’t know how to ask?” This is not even a question, why does it have a question mark? Besides, the forest of watermelons

Carmel, Psychology. Are you going to vote in the WSU elections? Yeah I will. Can you name any of the candidates? Shannon Stewart. That's it really, that's who I'm gona vote for. She was my RA so I know her. If you could have an unlimited supply of something (not cash) what would it be? Pizza.

growing inside her will surely prevent such a thing.

2 “Is it OK to touch yourself when you hear your parents have sex?” No. Just, no.

Zoe, Psychology. Are you going to vote in the WSU elections? No. I have no idea about anything. Can you name any of the candidates? No. If you could have an unlimited supply of something (not cash) what would it be? Chocolate. Pizza and chocolate is a good way to go.

3 “I caught my son having sex with a guy and I think he might be gay. Is there a definitive way I

Kelly, Biological and Earth Sciences.

can tell?”

Are you going to vote in the WSU elections? Sure. Can you name

Dip him in Ribena, I heard that’s foolproof.

any of the candidates? No. If you could have an unlimited supply of something (not cash) what would it be? Food. Chocolate definitely.

4 “I made Jesus shaped pancakes but I burnt them. Am I going to hell?” Very yes.

5 “HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK” Stop shouting and someone might tell you!

Tim, Biological and Earth Sciences. Are you going to vote in the WSU elections? Yeah probably. Can you name any of the candidates? Candice Gollan. If you could have an unlimited supply of something (not cash) what would it be? Food. Oh actually can I do pens, I always lose pens.

6 “I’ve only been with my girlfriend 4 weeks but the doctor says she’s 4 months pregnant. How did my sperm get so powerful?” You’re just that good home boy.

Kristal, Biological and Earth Sciences. Are you going to vote in the WSU elections? Maybe. Can you name any of the candidates? Lucy? What he said. If you could have an unlimited supply of something (not cash) what would it be? Travel.

7 “My wife wants to eat her placenta. Is that OK if she’s vegan?” I’m going to go with…. sure?

Sophie, Biological and Earth Sciences. Are you going to vote in the WSU elections? Yeah. Can you name

8 “What if the girl that thinks I’m the dad isn’t the mom?” Excellent thinking batman. Better get a maternity test.

nexusmag.co.nz

any of the candidates? Only what they've said! If you could have an unlimited supply of something (not cash) what would it be? TV series. You can never have enough.

nexus magazine

The Selfish Giant

The Dark Horse

FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON

FILM REVIEW BY DARCIE

Fans of the Oscar Wilde short story from which this tale takes its

Directed by James Napier Robertson, The Dark Horse is a touching

name are likely to be disappointed if they anticipate a literal adapta-

NZ film with all the right things in it. It’s happy, sad, funny and also

tion. The story of two adolescent males from impoverished families in

frightening at times; overall it is just very heartfelt.

Bradford, Northern England, it is very much in the tradition of working

Based on a true story, it follows Genesis (Cliff Curtis), a man with

class realists like Ken Loach. In Loach's 1969 classic Kes it is a kes- troubles, recently released from a psychiatric hospital who wants trel who awakens the humanity of a young boy; in The Selfish Giant

to share his gift for chess with kids of the community. Due to his

horses have a similar structural and poetic function. Any who have

inspiring and unique view of chess (as well as life), he unintentionally

suffered through the inane reality television show My Big Fat Gypsy

attracts the attention of his nephew, Mana (James Rolleston) who is

Wedding will recognise a cultural backdrop of contemporary 'travel-

struggling with his role in the world.

ler' lifestyle: one of casual theft and amateur trotting races on public

This movie has a bunch of great actors who all work so well together.

highways. When the lads are expelled from school for fighting they

Curtis’s performance is fantastic, and Miriama McDowell and Kirk

enter into a dangerous relationship with a gypsy scrap merchant, one

Torrance play great roles, as does newcomer Niwa Whatuira who is

who has no qualms about getting children to steal copper wire for him.

probably one to follow in future. The range of child actors involved was

This is no feel-good entertainment. Writer/director Clio Barnard has

also fantastic and it was warming to watch them interact together.

a solid background in documentary filmmaking. Demonstrating an

The thing I was most impressed with though was how moved the

understanding of the story's social milieu and a clear empathy with

movie made me feel. It was how the roles, particularly Mana’s, made

her downtrodden characters, Barnard gives us an immersive experi- you really feel for the character, as you could see the shift in what ence, both tragic and poignant. If laughs are few and accents often

he was portraying on the surface compared to what he was feel-

indecipherable there is also great visual beauty. The stark, ugly indus-

ing deeper down. This was even the case for the already patched

trial and domestic spaces co-exist with a countryside that retains

gang members, which I found particularly impressive, especially with

vestiges of the rural, lending the thematic oppositions an aesthetic

Wayne Hapis role as Mana’s father Ariki.

dimension. For all its bleakness the film is true to the redemptive possibilities of Wilde's original narrative though it is moot who, exactly, is

Overall, it is a really well done film with great acting and a great story.

the 'giant' referenced in the title.

nexus magazine

Go Down in History

Turn the Stone

ALBUM REVIEW BY TEE SHIP

ALBUM REVIEW BY HP

Sometimes I just want music to make me believe that it’s okay to

The debut album from Hamilton rockers, Checaine, feels like some-

punch a guy in the face… you know… like in a positive way… I

thing that’s always existed. It’s closer to uncovering something that

think you know what I mean. On that note, Four Year Strong have

may have been hidden rather than hearing a brand new creation.

just dropped their new EP, Go Down In History and my soul weeps

That’s a testament to the soaring vocals of Fraser Coombes, the

with the memory of my initial pledge of lifelong commitment to

power surge guitar of Regan Aspden and the fortress of the rhythm

the beard/tattoos collaboration. It was a glorious time. Go Down In

section comprised of Billy Dickson on bass and drummer John Bright

History marks the first release since the pop-punk/melodic-hardcore

that, as a unit, bring a timeless quality to heavy rock and metal.

band’s 2011 album, the slightly more morose, In Some Way, Shape

Opening with the melodic and multi-layered Open Cage, the

Or Form. Since the days of the band’s debut masterpiece Rise Or

album is a full volume, rhythmic totem to modern rock. The intensity

Die Trying-the album single-handedly responsible for introducing the

builds throughout the beginning of the album before standout track

double-kick into the world of pop-punk drumming-I can’t help but feel

Timebomb explodes. The lads are exceptional at moving through tem-

that Four Year Strong have been desperately trying to recreate the

pos and although Timebomb is raucous and pumping, other key tracks

magic of tracks such as 'Heroes Get Remembered, Legends Never

on the album include the slow and brooding Divided complete with

Die’ and‘ Bada Bing! Wit a Pipe!’ While Go Down In History doesn’t

delicate guitar picking and pulsing solo.

necessarily reach the dizzying heights of the band’s glory days, when

With variance, power and big, clean hooks, this album shows the

I hear a song like the title track ‘Go Down in History’ I think maybe,

potential of the band. Coombes’ vocal display is deep and authorita-

just maybe the boys have still got in them what it takes to create an

tive and is not dissimilar to David Draiman from Disturbed or Myles

uplifting melodic-hardcore album that makes you want to hug your

Kennedy from Alter Bridge, bands which Checaine could perform

buddy whilst simultaneously smashing his stupid face in. And really,

alongside comfortably. The album could use a little editing however.

isn’t that what good music is all about?

By the time we get to ending numbers, Bed of Nails in particular, the tones and sounds are starting to blur together. Ultimately, rock fans will love this and hopefully they’ll be marching down to see these locals playing at their local.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive

Skyrim – Legendary Edition

BOOK REVIEW BY HP

GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT

Steve Earle might be better known for being an applauded country

A game all about yelling loudly at dragons, this open ended RPG lets

singer/songwriter. Or being a heroin addict. Or maybe playing a heroin

you go anywhere, do anything and develop your character as you see

addict on TV hit, The Wire. But his debut novel is as every bit compel- fit. You don’t even need to follow the main storyline quests. Kind of ling as his music. Surprise, surprise he draws on his two favourite

like GTA, though with far fewer prostitutes and just a handful more

muses for the content: country music and heroin.

dragons. The Legendary Edition format (so graciously bought for me

Our unlikely hero, known to most as Doc, is a heroin addict living in 1960’s San Antonio, Texas, having been struck off as a doctor in

by a flatmate) adds in the DLC and provides some great boosts to characters who become Vampires or Werewolves.

neighbouring Louisiana. Doc supplements his growing smack habit

Personally, due to the sandbox nature of the game, I've spent half

by stitching up bar-room brawl victims and performing illegal abor-

my time collecting raw materials (metal, leather etc) and smithing

tions. But dope is not his only problem. The ghost of country music

them into weapons and armour. After which I find a shop keeper and

legend Hank Williams haunts Doc’s nightmares and the far more

on-sell these for profit. Hell, half of my character's experience has

real Mexican healer, Graciella, makes sure his day is full. The trio

come from what amounts to an in-game job.

navigate their own sins as well as those of the neighbourhood in which they live.

The rest of my time I've been redecorating my house (an interesting task considering the only way to rotate objects is by repeatedly

Earle’s country drawl is the woven stitching throughout this book.

banging them into walls). Admittedly the majority of this redecorating

He utilises his understanding of the South to perpetuate interesting

has been placing scores of skulls on shelves (I've got over 75), so my

and meaningful characters rooted in their setting. His wistful haze

house looks more like a mortuary...

surrounds what is an engaging plot and a twisted ending. Despite the

There are still some pretty bad glitches. I’ve fallen through the

heat of the Texas sun radiating off the page, it’s a darker, colder novel.

ground before, and I saw one of my other flatmate’s characters plum-

Heros and villains intermingle with squelchy similarity to history and

met through nothingness from one level of a dungeon to another.

fiction. It’s a blues fan’s book, a troubadour tale and that won’t be for

One of the shops in town was completely missing once – gave the

everyone, but it had me from the get go.

game an instant ‘Alien Abduction’ vibe. Still, these don’t detract from a great game.

nexus magazine

HØNEST MATT MEETS PHID FROM HASHTAG ME Honest Matt Matt Hicks

For those not in the know who are the Hashtag Me crew and what are

first outlets to play on the ps4 and xbox one in nz!

you all about? We are an online media outlet that provides a platform for

With all this cool access to people and products we really knew that the

podcasters via out HashtagME podcast network, we have a Youtube series

podcast was not doing the content any justice so we started filming it and

called Hashtag TV and also review heaps of tech stuff and get to talk to a lot

invested some real money into buying good gear which became Hashtag TV.

of interesting people from all walks of geekdom! We just really enjoy creating

We must be doing something right as Hashtag Radio was nominated and a

online media and telling our stories to the world. How long have you guys

finalist in the NZ Radio awards and we’ve won numerous prizes and awards

been doing the podcast/site/ radio show/ online show? HashtagME was

for Hashtag TV. Where did the idea to make this kind of show come

started by V8Matty, Charis McAwesome and myself as a humble radio show

from? We are nerds at heart and love talking about the tech, toys and social

called Hashtag Radio on Free 89fm in the Waikato about two years ago. After

media stuff we love. We also wanted to meet more cool people so we just

some awesome success on the radio with the live streaming and live tweet-

did it! I live by the mottos "Fuck it lets do it" and #GSD "Get Shit Done". The

ing we launched it as a podcast that goes to the web every Monday. We now

idea to grow from a radio show to what we are now was never our initial

record this in our own studio setup and it still plays on Free FM first but now

intention, it was just organic growth and natural movement into new ideas

goes to air on other stations on the Access network across NZ and our own

from our last project. Do you prefer the radio or TV side of things more?

podcast network which has been joined by two other podcasts including

I personally love the Radio and Podcasting more as I don't need pants on,

"Bits of Awesome" a retro gaming podcast, and "Access Granted" a cool tech

however I love the people and celebrities that I get to meet with Hashtag TV

podcast by Mike and Raj in Wellington.

so I would say I love them both equally... but the online TV stuff is a lot more

We really knew we had something worth growing after the show started

time consuming. What's been some of the highlights in your Hashtag

trending on twitter every Saturday (even trending higher than an All Blacks

Me journey thus far? The NZ Radio Awards for sure, it was cool being

game one week) so looked at how we could do more. We launched our

amongst the traditional radio people and being those guys from the internet,

website and started reviewing products we bought and reporting tech and

it’s a shame we were up against a Nelson Mandela show as we were never

gaming news. This seemed to hit the right spots with a few big tech firms so

going to win against Nelson.

we actually started getting sent stuff and getting invited to some awesome events like Armageddon and Digital Nationz. Shit, we were even one of the

nexusmag.co.nz

More at sounzgood.co.nz and hashtagme.co.nz.

You are old. It’s true; you’re over the hill. Your time has passed. Better pack it all in and go home to Tauranga, buy a surfboard, and get baked. Who needs success? I mean, Einstein did all that and then he married his cousin.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Your word of the week is Caveat. A caveat to this caveat is that you must not use it in any situation whatsoever because it is kind of a douchey word.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

This week you need to carefully consider your footwear choices. This may seem small and insignificant in the grander scheme of things, but it is still winter and MetService predicts rain.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Just because you can web stalk someone all the way back to 2008 doesn’t mean that you should. Just because no one caught you double dipping from the group curly fries, doesn’t mean you’re not trash. Key message: whatever you were originally thinking of doing, don’t.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

HOROSCOPES

Things are looking up! We can guarantee without a doubt that any risks you take this week will work out GREAT. Even if you’re a 4 reaching for a 10 - okay nah that’s a stretch. Go for a 7.

There is no such thing as a bad photo – sometimes your face just looks like that. The way to inner peace is accepting it.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Now is the time to deal to the dead weight. If your flatmate doesn’t do the dishes, vacuum, or pick up their wet towels – cut them. Literally, figuratively, whatever – just don’t implicate Nexus in your crimes.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

The trend is “norm-core” not, “I don’t own anything other than pyjamas and ugg boots.” The advice from the Zodiac this week is to put some fucking effort in, man. Hamilton is no Hollywood, and we’re blaming that solely on you.

Your weekly challenge from the Gods is to pick up a book. That’s it. You don’t even have to read it. If you use The Art of War to squash a spider you have fulfilled your duty.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Be selective with the people you surround yourself with this week. That’s not to say you aren’t genuinely super-popular, but chances are you’ve just been to more lectures and they want your notes.

Zeus is pissed. Perhaps you should stop with the erotic escapades and settle down a bit. Ignore what your high school classics teacher told you, he is a God of philandering first and foremost and if you keep showing him up, he will smite you.

You’re going to have a rough week. We can’t tell you what about or who with, but shit is going down. The appropriate course of action is to panic and internally screen all of the bad decisions you made last week so that you are prepared. Maybe skip class and don’t answer the door until we say it’s okay to come out.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

nexus magazine

SoundCloud Playlist BEATS BY J

Hudson Mohawke - Chimes (Official) Hudson Mohawke

Gent & Jawns - Turn Up (Kill The Noise Remix) Mad Decent

The Weeknd - Often (Kygo Remix) Kygo

Deorro & D!rty Aud!o Feat. iE-z - Hit It (Original Deorro

Mix)

Destiny's Child - Jumpin' Jumpin' (Logun Remix) Logun

ZIGGA ZIG-(CAKED UP FEAT. THE SPICE GIRLS) CAKED UP

Yellow Claw, Diplo & LNY TNZ - Techno (feat. Waka Flocka Flame)

Mad Decent

Dillon Francis + Sultan & Ned Shepard - When

We Were Young Feat. The Chain Gang Of 1974

DILLONFRANCIS

Matrix & Futurebound - Don't Look Back

Matrix & Futurebound

R3HAB & VINAI - How We Party (Original Mix)

Spinnin' Records

Schoolboy Q - Hell Of A Night (YOGI REMIX)

YOGIofficial

Mt Eden & Reign Ft. Diaz Grimm - Hash Tag It

Mt. Eden (Official)

Attak (feat. Danny Brown)

Rustie

nexus magazine

AUTEUR PRESENTS WWI FILMS Auteur Dr Richard Swainson

Centennial commemorations around the start of World War I have

5. Paths of Glory (1957). The only real rival to All Quiet on the Western Front,

a display of our best films on the subject. What follows is a Top 10 List, in

Stanley Kubrick's cynical polemic concentrates on the moral bankruptcy of

chronological order.

the French officer class for whom war is nothing more than a grand chess

1. Shoulder Arms (1918). Charles Chaplin took a risk sending his trade-mark

game of career advancement.

'Little Tramp' character to the front but his audience proved well capable of

6. Lawrence of Arabia (1962). Atypical in this list in terms of backdrop and

seeing the funny side of trench life. The farce got closer to the essence of

subject matter, an epic about the exploits of TE Lawrence amongst the

the experience than most propaganda films of the day.

Bedouin people. Openly mythic in its approach, it is less about the war itself

2. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930). An adaptation of Erich Maria

than the flawed concept of heroism.

Remarque's semi-autobiographical novel, in both pacifist theme and

7. Gallipoli (1981). An Australian classic. The story of a single soldier and his

cinematic bravado this masterpiece has no equal. Brutal, uncompromis-

mates becomes the tragedy of a generation. We await a New Zealand film

ing combat scenes of unprecedented scale and complexity co-exist with

as good on the nation-building disaster.

images of great lyrical beauty. All the more powerful because it dramatises

8. A Very Long Engagement (2004). Dazzling in its technique and convoluted

the German side of the conflict.

in its plotting, this follow-up to Amelie from director Jean-Pierre Jeunet and

3. A Farewell to Arms (1932). The first, superior version of Ernest

actress Audrey Tautou has never quite got the recognition it deserves. You

Hemingway's book about an American ambulance driver in the Italian cam-

could not ask for a more heartfelt depiction of the horrors of the Somme.

paign. If the ending is softened, Gary Cooper makes for a perfect Hemingway

9. My Boy Jack (2007). A British television movie about writer Rudyard

hero and the author's tone of disillusionment is well captured.

Kipling's son. Myopic to the point of blindness, Jack Kipling felt so compelled

4. La Grande Illusion (1937). Frenchman Jean Renoir was the best filmmaker

by his father's reputation that he insisted on certain death at the front.

in the world in the 1930s and this deeply humanistic POW drama was his

10. Parade's End (2012). A mini-series adaptation of the novels of Ford

biggest international hit. Silent star and former director Erich Von Stroheim

Maddox Ford, himself a Great War veteran. Though the war portion of the

- a villain in many a propaganda film during the war - is unforgettable as the

drama comes relatively late, it counts.

camp commander who has more in common with the aristocratic prisoners

than his own troops.

begun in earnest. Auteur House jumped the gun a few weeks back with

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

POETRY, PROSE & PREJUDICE Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf

How does one know what’s true, right and good for the garden? It’s a

maybe not. There’s a list of these shite formulations doing the rounds that

big question, one of the biggest. The answers can get your hands mucky.

cover everything from atheism: I don’t believe this shit, to Zen Buddhism:

Do you rely on reason? Call yourself a rationalist. If you depend on the

What is the sound of shit happening? Others in between are: Darwinism:

senses to light your path, you’re an empiricist. These are the two biggies that

The survival of the shittiest. Feminism: Men are shit. Hinduism: This shit

have recent historical clout. But there’s a stack of others out in the tool-shed.

happened before. Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage. Jehovah Witness:

If its passionate feeling and intuition that does it for you, you’d be a roman-

Shit has been prophesied and is imminent. New Age: This isn’t shit if I really

tic. I feel, therefore it’s true. Faith in revelation, as in some holy text the gods

believe it’s chocolate. Vegetarianism: If it shits, don’t eat it. Existentialism:

have shunted your way might make you a fundamentalist. God said so, ipso

This shit is meaningless. And many more.

facto it’s true. “God said to Abe, Kill me a son. Abe said, Where do you want

Strictly speaking these witty formulations are not first order methods but

this killing done?” To push this one a little further, if you think God speaks

truth positions already arrived at. We need to back up the truck a bit into

to you directly, you might claim to be a mystic. Another variation on this is

the loading bay. But how does one choose between rationalism, revelation,

to trust an institution, like the Church, an infallible Pope, a convocation of

intuition, the Church, et al. especially when one contradicts the other?

bishops or some other ecclesiastical body. You’d be a paid up member, willing to submit, with all your thinking done for you.

This very conundrum played itself out recently here in the city where the Reverend Hewat found himself having to choose between the Bible and the

If your position is, it’s true if it works, then you’re a pragmatist. A variation

recent Anglican Church ruling over the matter of homosexuality. The Church

on this is truth by democratic vote, that is, what turns out best for the great-

finally decided to join the twenty-first century, ignore the Bible and bless

est number. Slap on the label utilitarianism. If you think nothing is true, you’re

gay unions. Pick your authority. Church or Bible? Hewat chose the Bible and

a nihilist. A variation on that is to be suspicious of various claims to truth; in

handed in his badge.

that case you’re a sceptic. I don’t know, is an agnostic. There’s a bit of that

Time perhaps to sharpen the blade of rationalism.

about. To put this one another way: Shit might have happened; but then again,

nexus magazine

What is this Election about? JAMES RAFFAN

Last week the WSU announced it had 33 candidates running for its board in the next election leading a great many of you to ask “Who are the WSU and what the fuck do they do?” The WSU is one of the few things Nexus actually knows some stuff about so we will attempt to answer most of the important questions. What is the WSU? The Waikato Students’ Union is actually

Wait, what the fuck- Nexus isn’t independent? You sellout

just like every other student association around the country.

hacks! It’s a weird one. The Managing Editor, Designer and

The only reason it’s called a union is because in the early 70s

Editor all have contracts with the WSU to produce a magazine

the Teachers College Union and the Waikato Students’ Union

but every other writer is proudly independent. Back before VSM

joined together.

your money went directly to Nexus and we could tell everyone

So why haven’t they booked Shapeshifter yet? The answer

money and the WSU produces Nexus. Still, you will never catch

compulsory levy to the Union as part of their fees. But some

us shamelessly sucking up to the University for funding. even

people from the ACT party decided they shouldn’t have to. So

if they do have fantastic courses at very reasonable prices…

instead they added that amount (and more) to your student

Yeah but what does the WSU actually do? The WSU does five

service’s levy which means the University now gets to decide

main things: Representation, Events and Activities, Advocacy,

how that gets spent. So instead of the money going straight

Clubs, and Nexus. The WSU board (should) make sure your

to the Students’ Union for things like O-Week, the University

voices are heard and your concerns are being raised. The WSU

contracts the WSU to provide certain services and gives them

staff (should) work with them to make stuff happen on campus.

about 60% of the money they originally received. But what does that actually mean? It means a couple of

So what’s different about this election? Numbers. Last year for the same elections there were 14 candidates for the 11

things. A lot of people lost their jobs in order to save enough

spots, the year before there were 12 candidates. This time

money to keep things like Clubs and Advocacy going. It also

there are over 30 so something’s changed. The incumbents will

means your O-week is filled with more affordable acts (like

tell you it is because this year has been successful, some of

Rockquest winners). The WSU could do what Otago and others

the other candidates might tell you that this Board hasn’t done

do and put on bigger gigs but they would have to charge like

enough or doesn’t represent average students. Another group

$120 for tickets and if it failed they would be fucked.

would probably tell you they have chosen to stand because

So who are the WSU? This is the cool part. With 33 directors applying the WSU is going to be whoever you want. You get

they don’t feel like the WSU is a strong enough voice on issues that affect them.

to vote for a board including a President, A VP, A VP-Maori and

Who do I vote for then? Think carefully, choose wisely. If you

eight directors. They get to be your representatives on boards

want a board that represents the diversity and culture of this

and committees but they also get to listen to you about what

campus then vote for that. If you want a board that represents

the WSU should be doing. The Board also has some staff that

the changing nature of our politics then vote for change, or vote

don’t change so there is some consistency there. They include

for the status quo. We have our favourites but this isn’t about us,

Dave the General Manager, Clubs, events, advocacy, and com-

we need you to decide what you want 2015 to look like.

munications staff including Nexus.

to go fuck themselves. Now the University puts aside your

is a slightly boring but important one. Students used to pay a

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

SHANNON STEWART

TAU MARSDEN Standing for President, Vice- President and Director

Standing for President

Studying Human Resources and

Studying Law and Public Relations

Tourism Management Affiliation: Te Ranga Ngaku

After a year in College Hall in first-year, a year as an RA supervising drunken shenanigans, and a year as

I grew up in Northland in a family of 12 in a house

Vice-President of WSU I feel I am well equipped to fill

that was an old rest home with no proper windows, a

the role as President. As a fourth-year majoring in Law

leaking roof, dribbling shower heads, hand me downs,

and PR, I believe that the skills and experiences I have

WeetBix and milk powder for dessert, the same school

collected during my time at university make me the

uniform for 2 years, and hitting the op shops for your

best candidate for this position.

ball suit. Those were the days.

My time as Vice-President has really helped me get

At 8 years old I saw an opportunity to change my life

to know both the organization and the students we

and go against the grain. I started doing odd jobs,

represent through WSU events, our clubs network,

working on the kumara fields, picking squash, mowing

and driving you home in the free vans during O-weeks

lawns, gardening, and trying to get school work done – although not many of you will remember that. My was a regular thing till I was 18 years old.

time with the WSU has been an incredibly rewarding

I became tired of the same thing and changed

experience and has led me to put my name forward to

it. 10 years later, here I am heading into a Masters

lead the organisation into 2015.

in Management Studies in HR or Tourism manage- This year has been a particularly good year for the assoment, serving on the Executive Board for Te Ranga

ciation, and I am proud to have been a part of a team

Ngaku, Maori Mentor in the Management school,

that has delivered some real wins for students – which

current intern at Waikato Raupatu River Trust, Elders

is exactly what the WSU should be about. We have

Quorum President for my local church, volunteering for

pushed the University hard for longer library hours,

Volunteer Waikato and Habitat for Humanity, Winner

free swipe access to labs, increased WIFI allowance

of the Innes 48 Business competition, recipient of the

on campus and cheaper printing – all of which have

Tawera and Te Ahurutanga Scholarship, and Coach for a

been delivered. We’ve also established a food bank for

local 2nd division team and affiliated with multiple clubs

our most vulnerable students, and purchased a van to

across campus. I credit all these achievements to God,

get you guys to and from town safely each week.

family, friends, lecturers, mentors, role models and my

Vote SHANNON STEWART for PRESIDENT.

sweetheart. I understand a little bit about hardship but

The only candidate with the experience to get the job

recognise that there are others of you, despite culture,

done.

who struggle and need real people, real support, a real President to voice real change.

nexus magazine

PAPE BARRETT

ROY MAZORODZE

ZANIAN STEELE

TAHA TANGITU-HUATA

Standing for Vice-President and

Standing for Vice-President

Standing for Vice-President and

Standing for Vice-President Maori

Director

Studying Communications

Studying Social Sciences

Director Studying Law and Labour

Studying Maori Language Affiliation: Te Waiora

Affiliation: Te Waiora/Waikato Tainui

During my term on the WSU I have chal-

This is my first year at Waikato University,

internet for every student, longer library

You have a hard choice this year, with

University. I am applying for a position

where I am undertaking a Bachelor

hours, free after hours lab access, free

your ballot paper is more crowded than a

on the student board to represent and

of Social Sciences (BSOCSC) Major

vans for students every weekend, the

Deka in the 90s, it’s up to you to choose

also be a strong promoter for student

Political Science; Second major Maori

list goes. My name is Roy Mazorodze.

who leads one of the biggest organiza-

advocacy, and a vehicle to deliver your

Cultural Studies/Tikanga Maori.

I am in my 2nd year of a BeCOM. My

tions on campus. Having been a Director

needs and wants as well. We all know

I am 18 years old and finished at the

governance experience has been with

this year, I’ve manned the BBQ and vans

it isn't easy to leave the bar stool to go

end of last – year 13 from Te Wharekura

Student Job Search as a National Council

during O week and REO, helped set up a

to classes. So why not do our best to

o Rakaumangamanga. I was born into

representative and Waikato Student

Food bank and fought for students rights

show what support services are avail-

politics’ at both a local and National level

Union as a director. I would like to tackle

over the last year. Now I am looking to

able for us to ensure a safer, easier, and

and I continue to be activity engaged

even bigger issues and be the voice of

take the next step. I have the experience

less stressful journey through tertiary

with many causes in this city. However,

all students. Do the right thing vote for

but also the fresh ideas to make a qual-

education. Let’s also give you fullas

I believe that representation at all levels

me.

Affiliation: Fresh Start

lenged issues of 1 ply toilet paper, more

is paramount and whilst I am studying,

Chur the chur fellow students of Waikato

ity Vice President. Having been involved

a better voice and in the hope a more

with the WSU, Nexus and Waikato

diverse approach on how W.S.U can

why not University.

Debsoc over the last three years I know

improve and deliver their services. We

I would like to bring change in particular

what we need to create a great environ-

know W.S.U has been doing all good,

to how all students are consulted and

ment for students and clubs on campus.

but there is always room for improve-

informed about major issues in our

This election I am standing with some

ment isn't there guys. Vote for me and you'll see. Aurah.

learning space. I would also bring a

fantastic candidates on the Fresh Start

diverse personality to the decision mak-

ticket who share my vision for better

ing table however only after capturing

WSU. Help me take the next step.

the student voice. At the end of the day I would be your collective voice and not just for a few.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

JULIUS DANIELS-MATA

DANIEL FARRELL

CANDICE GOLLAN

LEONARD HARRIS

Standing for Director

Studying Social Sciences

Studying Accounting and Law

Studying Law and Business

Studying Science

Management

Affiliation: Waikato University Cook Islands Association

Affiliation: Fresh Start

My involvement with the WSU has been

“E tu mai e oe ra, oe’a te vaka kia tere

6 Class Representative positions, Board of the Faculty Representative

three-fold over the last five years. First,

(Undergraduate), Admission Appeals

I was a contributor for Nexus from 2010

Hey, I am a second year student in the

to 2012. Second, I was on the executive

process of completing a conjoint degree

Committee Student Member, Student

of WSU affiliated clubs from 2010 to the

of Law and Business Management.

Ambassador and a Youth Leader, these

so that we may move forward”

beginning of this year. Most recently,

Choosing to attend Waikato University

backgrounds and experiences I have

The University of Waikato is our Canoe/

I've been a Director of the WSU for the

has been one of the best decisions of

I believe are invaluable skills and assets for me to take on this Role as

ki mua” “Stand up and paddle, paddle our canoe

Vaka and we the students must work

past two years.

my life. The people, the culture and the

hard (paddle) to ensure our Vaka moves

As a Director, I've been involved with a

institute itself, I want to give something

a Director at the WSU. I have a strong

forward in the best possible way

number of things. As I promised in both

back.

Academic and Cultural Understanding

Kia Orana, I am running for the position

elections, I have been working with the

I believe that it is time for a bit of a re

of the University and you will often

of director in the hope that I may make

WSU President on pushing for tertiary

vamp within the WSU, with some cur-

see me Representing the University at

a contribution in paddling our University

bus fares in Hamilton, which we've

rent elected members finishing their

University/Community Events.

to a bigger and brighter future.

seen good progress on. I also stood for

degrees or deciding not to run for re-

I have strong leadership and commu-

As a proud Cook Islander, I aim on bring-

accountability and transparency within

election, now is the time for to act; To

nications skilled fitted for this Role as

ing a Pacific voice to the union and stand

the organisation, and we're slowly get-

allow some fresh faces and fresh opin-

Director with a no-nonsense approach

to voice and express the views of all stu-

ting better at this.

ions to be able to help shape the WSU

to matters that matter most.

dents to ensure the continual growth of

I am running for the #WSU3peat,

and the Waikato University as a whole.

So if you see me around, don't hesitate to ask something about me (within

our University.

because I'm very proud of what we've

I strongly encourage you to vote in this

In ending I leave you all with this Cook

done over the past two years, and I'd

election to allow your voice to be heard.

reason) as I'm super approachable and

Island chant:

like to continue it. Vote for continuity.

Vote #FreshStart – Because you’re

would love to hear feedback from stu-

“Taku Vaka Tangata E, Mua, Mua, Mua!”

Vote Farrell. See fb.com/danielfarrellwsu

worth it :)

dents around campus!

“People on the Canoe, Forward, Forward,

and @danielfarrellnz on Twitter.

Forward!” Kia Orana e Kia Manuia Kia Orana e Kia Manuia

nexus magazine

MELISSA HUGHES

KALE ISAAC

INDULA JAYASUNDARA

NICOLE JEUNE

Standing for Director

Studying Communications

Studying Management

Studying Creative Technologies

Affiliation: Waikato Musicians Club I am a second year student studying

‘Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream.

Affiliation: Papua New Guinea Waikato Students Association

towards a Bachelor of Communication

The first mouse quickly gave up and

I'm an international student studying

Studies - majoring in Marketing and PR.

drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't

a Bachelor of Management Studies;

Hi, I'm from Papua New Guinea. I’m a

I decided to apply for the role of Director,

quit. He struggled so hard that eventually

majoring in Accounting and Tourism. I

second year student studying Bachelor

as I realised the days of the WSU van

he churned that cream into butter and

am also the former president of the

of Media and Creative Technologies,

carting me to town during O week are

crawled out like the winner he is. Ladies

Waikato Musicians’ Club. I established

doing a double major in Screen and Media, and Creative Technologies. I

over - it is now time for me to take the

and Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am

the club in 2013 and we subsequently

wheel (literally). I want to redirect my

that second mouse.’ – Catch me if you

went on to being crowned ‘Rookie Club

hereby stand to represent the Pacific

energy into the functioning and further

can

of the Year’ (2013) and also received the

Island Students. I believe we need

development of the Waikato Students'

Vote Kale Isaac for change that will ben- ‘Contribution to the Student Experience’

someone on the WSU Board to be their

Union. I believe I hold the skills and

efit you as students. Firstly I’ll look at

award. I believe that my cultural and

voice, add some island humour and

knowledge to make YOUR experience

prices on campus including: books, food,

ethnic backgrounds will make other

address any matters that need address-

as students the best it can possibly be.

and coffee. Then I’ll aim to create a stu-

international students feel accommo-

ing. I hope you can let me be your

So pretty please, vote MELISSA for WSU

dent culture that will continue, therein

dated. Considering that 16% of the total

representative as a Director of WSU.

Director these upcoming elections!

establishing a much needed Waikato stu-

student composition on campus con-

dent TRADITION. I’ll help make Waikato

sists of international students, having a

University the best it can be.

fellow international student stepping into directorship could be a game changer for the WSU. My personal aspirations are to enhance the student experience on campus and to give the University of Waikato a vibrant outlook. The administrative experience I have gained throughout the years complemented by my personal characteristics will provide me with sufficient confidence to take up this position.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

KAELYN KINGI

SHAUN LETCHER

KATE LUNN

SAMUEL MARELICH

Standing for Director

Studying Communications

Studying Law and Political Sciences

Studying Law

Studying Communications

My friends call me Kaelyn, but you

Re-elect Shaun Letcher – I’ve already

I’d be stoked to represent you as a direc-

can call me tonight... Or you could

told my mum I won, and don’t know

tor on the 2015 WSU board. I’ve already

I’ve been lucky enough to sit on the WSU board in 2014, sussing your rides

just Facebook me. I tend to be really

how I’d tell her otherwise.

been involved with the WSU, having

to town and working through marathon

good with advice. I mean, pizza and

Some of you may remember me from

stepped in as a director earlier this year.

length meetings to help get Waikato

hefty binge drinking haven’t been the

last year’s election or free vans to town

I’ve gained some valuable experience

Students a mint deal.

most successful problem solvers but

during O’week. Others may not remem-

on the board, and am keen build upon

I’m always down for a yarn but 150

considering I live off noodles and water,

ber anything after their 8th drink, and

what has already been achieved. In

words isn’t a lot to work with. Hit me

they’re luxuries! You’d think I’d have an

that’s OK too. Before you go thinking

2015, I’d like to see a friendlier and more

up at sam.marelich@gmail.com or on

awesome social life since I’m studying “party candidate” let me tell you, I’ve got

productive conversation between the

Facebook (or in person if that’s still a thing?)

communications, but apparently talking

a lot more than a box of Waikato Draught

board and the student body. The board

with your lecturers and trying to con-

under my belt.

works for you, the student, and I want

firm StudyLink payments doesn’t count.

During the past year as a WSU Director

to ensure that our actions reflect your

I find inspiration in song lyrics like “it’s

I’ve played a significant role in deliver-

best interests. I’ve had previous gover-

the hard-knock life for us” and “if you

ing more of the things students actually

nance experience as a Hamilton Youth

think you’re special, you’re probably not” care about. Free vans to town during

Councillor, and was the coordinator on

which is why you should vote for me;

O’week,extended library hours, the

the 2014 WULSA committee. I am keen

I’m not special. I’m just a student who

establishment of a food bank and free

to hear about what you’d like to see hap-

believes that the University of Waikato

swipe access to labs (2015).

pen on campus, but more importantly,

is a place for you to succeed. It’s a place

I’d love to be able to continue my elec-

I’ve got the drive to make sure it’s actu-

where your ideas and opinions mat-

tion promise from 2013 and tell my

ally done. Want better representation in

ter. Vote Kaelyn for Student Director!

brother Aaron to shut up when he’s

2015? All you've got to do is tick the box.

#StudentVoice #4y2k15

being a dick, but he’s been missing since our SGM. If anybody has any information please contact the police urgently.

nexus magazine

SHERIL MATHEW

JADEINE MCLEOD

SOPHIE MILLAR

Standing for Director

Studying Biochemistry

Studying Law

Studying Education

Studying Creative Technologies

ANNA O’DEA

Affiliation: Fresh Start I am running for WSU Student Director and I am a current Biochemistry stu-

Affiliation: I am a second year first year (if that

In the words of Janis Ian in Mean Girls

makes sense) after changing my major

I am a creative choleric (look it up!) with

dent. I am an extrovert which means “There are two kinds of evil people in this

in 2014. Quite an inconvenience to my

thousands of ideas and I’m campaign-

you can stop me anytime without

world. Those who do evil stuff and those

life plan, but at least I got to experi-

ing for a position as a director for several

hesitation. I have many cultural values

who see evil stuff being done and don't

ence O’week as a first year twice. My

reasons, one being that I love talking to

and wide range of experiences and can

try to stop it.”

one year as an Education student has

interesting strangers in Level Zero, and as a director, that’s part of my job. So

incorporate these experiences to differ-

Well, WSU certainly isn’t evil. But you

equipped me with several skills that I

ent situation. My aim is to help all the

get the idea. I’m the kind of person

believe the WSU needs.

international and domestic student to

who sees things that can be improved •

Competent finger painter

many of the people that I meet through the WSU have intelligent and often very

excel with their studies as well as help

and will work with 100% commitment •

Can play 3 chords on the guitar

interesting perspectives on everything

them to settle well to our university. I

to achieve that. Having studied a BA in

recorder

from hot political issues to fun facts. I

represent the multicultural student

Politics & Drama at Auckland Uni before •

Knows how to enforce ‘the

know that I can do a great job of con-

body and other ethnic groups. Having

making the switch to Waikato, I have

naughty corner’

tributing ideas and putting my creative

varying background of knowledge and

a fresh perspective on what a student

My policy platform is a triple-threat: I will

abilities, energy and confidence (some-

experience being in different universi-

union can and should be achieving for

remove the draconian rules that require

times overconfidence) to good use by

ties which can help you settle well in our

students.

all students to wear a hat at lunchtime,

organizing and running fun things for

University.

I have experience working on success-

I will reintroduce “naptime” particularly

you.

So vote for me :) No pressure :)

ful local/national campaigns on student

during O’week, and there will be at least

issues, along with governance/admin

one disco per semester.

experience. I’m currently on WULSA

For the skills, experience and ideas that

as VP – Public Relations and have been

the WSU needs, and a strong voice for

involved with DebSoc & a plethora of

the Faculty of Education, Vote Sophie

other campus clubs.

Millar: The candidate with a sense of

Vote for a #FreshStart – Vote Jadeine

humour.

McLeod for WSU Director facebook.com/JadeineForWSU

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

BETH PEARSALL-PETERS

MATTHEW JAMES RAE

JOHNNY RYAN

MOSES SIMPSON Standing for Director

Standing for Director

Studying Science

Studying Computer Science

Studying Creative Technologies

Affiliation: Gardeners Club

Affiliation: Waikato Musicians Club

Studying Psychology Affiliation: Waikato Psychology Students Association

You, the students, are what the WSU is I am creative, highly motivated and have

I’m a second year computer science

all about and I’ve really enjoyed helping

a vision for an ethical, resilient and truly

student and I invented Science. Well

out where I could this year. Good times

You may remember me as the duck suit

sustainable future. We can get there

not really, I actually failed physics in

have been had driving drunken Hall

from 2014 REO Clubs day, if so vote for

by using our innovation, knowing our

high school. I have lots of leadership

students to and from town, dressing

me!

history and working collectively. I have

experience, I was technology prefect

like Spyro at Family Day and mixing the

I'm third year Psych student who enjoys

traveled to many parts of the world and

and captain of the soccer team although

beats at the Waikato Invitational Sports

meeting people and riding bikes.

see a great need for solidarity between

Id have a hard time running anywhere

Competition.

I've been involved with WPSA since A

all people of all cultures, across all

now. I am the current President of the

I’m 24 and in my second year of study

semester and I'm loving it, and I really

nations. I want to step forward into a

Waikato Musicians Club and love playing

after spending a bit of time in England

hope to make WSU more fun and more

more integrated and compassionate

guitar. I’m a student like everyone else

pouring beers. I’m all about dem classic

efficient for its members and everyone

society that values diversity. I would like

at Uni but some students feel like they

early 2000s jams and making the most

at The University of Waikato.

to see the University of Waikato offer-

can’t be heard. I want to be you voice

of this sweet student life at Waikato! I

I would love to hear what people want

ing more space for student expression

as I can get the point across. Who else

would love to keep doing my best to

from their student representation and

that is visible. I believe that education is

is feed up with the level zero doors? If

help students next year.

from the university itself. A bakery and

freedom and therefore should be free.

you vote for me things like that could be

I am also a sought-after relief milker on

a student pub would be something I'd

I want our University to push boundar-

sorted with sooner. I’m an approachable

the weekends, so you can be sure if shit

love to have on campus. I hope to see

ies, seek truth and lead by example by

guy and if you want to talk to me about

needs to get done, it’ll get done.

you around campus.

being a working model that showcases

anything I’m all ears, such big ears. Vote

the world we want to live in.

for a voice for others. Vote Matthew Rae.

Bonsoir!

I’m not interested in having ‘WSU director’ on my CV. My interest is in helping you. Like a chain, one link on its own is useless, but connected to other links it has greater strength. A vote for me will help link you to a network of support.

nexus magazine

The Choice is Yours!

PICK YOUR FAVOURITE CANDIDATES PRESIDENT

VICE-PRESIDENT MAORI

TAHA TANGIT U-HUATA VICE-PRESIDENT

ABBEY TREWAVAS

TEINA WALTERS

Standing for Director

Studying Politics & History

Studying Electronic Commerce

DIRECTOR

Affiliation: Fresh Start Simple, leadership is the life force that I am a transfer student, currently in my

runs through my veins. From the humble

second year of a conjoint LLB/BA major-

township of Matamata the local college

ing in politics and history.

was the start of my life as the go-to-man

Transferring from Victoria University

in times of need. Year 9- I lead the 1st

to Waikato has come to be one of the

15 Rugby team to 5 consecutive national

best decisions I’ve ever made. The dif-

titles. Year 10-Head boy, Year 11- head girl,

ferences in attitude, culture and not to

Year 12 Board of Trustees Chairman, Year

mention the lecture sizes are just some

13 elected Matamata College Principal.

of Waikato’s greatest aspects and have

Thankfully I was asked to repeat Year 13

encouraged me to put myself forward

where I politely accepted to then go on

for a Directors position for WSU.

and be elected Mayor of my hometown

Taking the experiences I’ve gained from

at 18 years of age.

my time as a (poor) student, I have many

Don't vote for me to help me, vote for

ideas on how to improve some aspects

me to help your peers!

of the University, such as upping inter-

DIRECTOR

net allowances on campus and solving other issues which affect students. I am a hard worker, I co-operate very well and I will dedicate myself to rep-

DIRECTOR

resenting the student voice. I welcome any questions, usually when I’m not cramming for that Moodle quiz I forgot about you can find me in Momento with

DIRECTOR

a coffee in-hand.

DIRECTOR

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S E I ER

S L A C I T I L PO n a m r o n l e s s u r M A 0 :3 0 1 G N I K A E SP G TH AU 5 1 Y A D FRI O R E Z L E S+ LEV S U HR

IT W EN E R TG E G E M O +C

nexus magazine

BANISH YOUR UNDER-EYEÂ BAGS Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady

Another request came my way this week and it seems

using your concealer and dabbing it lightly around the

many of you have been burning the midnight oil hitting

eye area.

your books, town (or both!) and as a result are awaking

Cold. Grab something cold from the fridge; a cold

with the dreaded bags under the eyes.

teaspoon, cucumber or some cool wet tea bags

Here are a few quick and easy tips that will help mini-

(chamomile is nice) to help soothe the area. The tannin

mise this in the morning before you dash out the door!

in the teabags helps ease the swelling.

Water. Under-eye bags are often caused by the reten-

Allergies. Under-eye bags can result from allergies, so if

tion of water due to high salt concentration. This can

you suspect they may be irritating you, see your doctor/

be caused by crying, eating salty foods etc. Make sure

chemist for some antihistamines.

you drink plenty of water to flush it from your system. Cosmetic. If your under-eye bags are persistent try

nexusmag.co.nz

sweetpaintedladynz.com

nexus magazine

KEEPIN' IT UP, HOLDIN' IT IN Aunty Slut

Dear Aunty Slut,

serious note, if you find it difficult to maintain an erection once you’ve ejacu-

How can I last longer when having sex? It’s getting embarrassing, and it’s at

lated a cock ring may help. It sits around the base of your cock and helps

the point where I feel so anxious about it I’m avoiding it. My current girlfriend

keep the blood in. They come in all sorts of colours and sizes, they even have

is amazing- she tells me she takes it as a compliment but I can tell she’s

nice tickly bits to please your partner. You can find them at any sex shop, or

frustrated and trying not to show it. I know I’m not pleasing her sexually, but

order one online.

I don’t know what to do! Quickfire

There are lots of ways to last longer, but in my experience, the best way is to have ridiculous amounts of sex. In the morning, at lunch, before dinner, and before bed. By the time you get to round four, you’re going to last longer.

Dear Quickfire, There are a myriad of ways you can make yourself last longer, but before I

By the time you get through several days of this, you’re definitely going to last longer. Practice makes perfect Quickfire!

outline any of them I want to say that there is more to life than penis-vagina

If your partner isn’t around during the day- masturbate. Often guys try

sex! Life is not all about you and your ejaculation! The world will not end if

to flick one out in the shortest time possible, which can sort of ‘train’ their

you come too soon, but it might if you decide that’s the end of the sexy time.

body that when it gets sexually stimulated, it’s a race. Slow your wanking

So you come too soon, big fucking deal. Keep going! You’re not really feel-

sessions down and practice not coming by contracting your bladder muscle:

ing it after you’ve come? Well your partner definitely isn’t feeling it if you blow

imagine you’re trying to stop peeing mid flow (you can practice this while

your load in 30 seconds flat. I hope I don’t need to say the word ‘cunnilingus’

actually peeing too).

here- because I’m sure you’re already pleasuring your partner before you get to the penetration part. Right? Right? Anyway- often the easiest way to last longer is to come once, do something else for a little bit *cough*cunnilingus*cough* and then have another go. You can’t get hard for an hour after coming? What a shame… On a more

Other things that may help: wearing one or two condoms to help lessen that orgasmic feeling (you can get condoms that numb sensation too), have your woman on top, or grind in her instead of thrusting. And if all else fails, go ask student health for a dose of Cialis. Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz

PHOTOGRAPH: PHILLIP WONG

nexus magazine

RUN BITCH, RUN! Fitness Bro Lauren Barnard

I don't recognise the trainer taking this morning's class. Todd

keeping our heart-rates booming harder than post-war Britain.

mands and insulting maggots like us – but he's quick to smile,

He says one of the aspects of powerlifting he loves is the

and his oddly soft voice is lost in the cavernous Sports Hall.

concrete motivation.

A gauntlet of tyres and sandbags and hurdles is laid out like

“In the kitchen or on the treadmill, it can be demoralising

a buffet. I strain to hear his instructions about what the heck

because it's hard to see progress. It takes time for the num-

we're supposed to do with this wealth of kettlebells and fivegallon jugs. But Todd's gentle manner doesn't

“...LOOKS LIKE A SOLDIER, OR A POLICE OFFICER, MADE FOR SHOUTING COMMANDS AND INSULTING MAGGOTS LIKE US...”

But lifting is different. “You can see the numbers go up every

avid Strongman competitor, and he expects

week as you're able to lift more.” It's a solid, real-life payoff,

similar ferocity from our rag-tag band of Tough

and progress is obvious even to complete newbies.

Guys and Gals. I'm a sweaty waterfall before he calls out the first station switch. My partner today is a tourism student named

I consider. A month ago, the breakneck pace of strength-toshuttles-and-back would have had my whole body screaming, and quite probably landed me fainting on the floor all over

Tiffany, who attends Sir George Seymour

again. I certainly couldn't have powercleaned the sack of

College and doesn't really appreciate my pant-

sand above my head, or run high intensity intervals between

ing attempts at conversation. Her attention is focused on

my sets of pushups. I'm grateful for the progress, since the

yanking tractor tyres forward with the full force of her petite

Tough Guy is looming in the increasingly near future – and I,

frame, and righting the hurdles I've trampled before she can

and Tiffany, and Todd and the rest of the Get It Fitness team,

leap them, gazelle-like. I practice star jumps, and feel like a

intend to be ready.

Todd's Strongman style is visible in his training technique. We lift heavy things relentlessly, repeatedly swapping strength

nexusmag.co.nz

bers to start going down, or up if you're a guy looking to gain weight.”

extend to his training; he's a powerlifter and

rhino.

work for shuttle runs, carrying weirdly shaped weights and

looks like a soldier, or a police officer, made for shouting com-

They reckon there are still a few seats on the free bus if any equally crazy folk want to join us.

nexus magazine

THE LEAGUE OF METAL: AN INTERVIEW WITH NAIL FROM DEVILSKIN. Interview HP

Nail is pretty casual about it all when we meet. “We were all at a loose end” he tells me. Sure.

including some High School kids from up north, Alien Weaponry. “Yeah it’s a good opportunity for them to get in front of a large crowd. We

While Nail describes a reasonably nonchalant gathering of friends and fam-

know what it’s like to be hard working musos having doors shut in our faces.”

ily that just so happens to be Hamilton’s quintessential rockers Devilskin, I

So now Devilskin are putting out a crushing debut album in We Rise, but

imagine something more like the League of Justice. Only it’s the League of

they’re also making sure the next generation of musicians have platforms

Metal. Jennie Skulander, lead singer of Slipping Tongue may or may not be

on which to perform. See: Superheroes. But the hard working muso part

Wonder Woman. I’m not starting rumours, but have you ever seen them in

is correct too. Nail explains that the songs have been built slowly at times.

the same room together? With sparring vocals that have turned the heads of

Organically.

Megadeth and fans alike, she likely convenes the League of Metal. From Axe “Everything starts with a riff. It might be a guitar riff, bass riff or a drum riff, Attack and World War Four fame, Paul Martin and his son, Nick, are in charge

but that’s it.”

of the rhythm section and could be reappraised in a Batman and Robin role. Those chunky beginnings have been fleshed out in thick and heavy ways as And Nail… Nail, who sits across from me sipping at a beer and occasionally

the album represents years of work distilled into six weeks of recording time.

stroking a long fiery beard, well, he’s Superman.

“Some of the songs are quite old… but yeah they’re still exciting to play.”

I know this for a number of reasons. Firstly, I saw Nail in his previous World

The recording process has been quite exciting too, getting the songs sound-

Battle of the Bands winning band, Chuganaut and they were able to shred

ing exact has required a little bit of patience and, Nail admits, a certain

tall guitars in a single bound. And secondly, he conveniently doesn’t mention

amount of perfectionism. But while the new album has a structure to it,

Kryptonite, like at all! Mentioning the world beating band of his past sees

it doesn’t smack of perfectionism. There are grinding rhythms, smashing

Nail look almost uncomfortable. He disagrees with the idea of pedigree. He

guitars and a certain flow. It’s as exciting to listen to as Nail is to be playing

sees no rhyme or reason for elitism in music. In the opening acts for the

Altitude Friday the 15th of August. Playing their debut album live in their own

New Zealand tour by the band are a number of groups that have impressed,

backyard is something worth checking out.

PHOTOGRAPHS: BECKI MOSS

nexus magazine

LIFE ADJUSTMENTS THAT INADVERTENTLY SAVE YOU MONEY Cash Hacks Alix Higby

I’ve had a pretty tough couple of weeks, and unfortunately dealt

more cash, and technically you are right. But you’re probably going

with the stress and lack of sleep by spending all of my paycheck

to end up spending that extra dollar on retail therapy for the soul

in one weekend on booze and Thai food. This is obviously not the

once you realise you are seriously down on time for assignments

way to go if you’re currently writing a column on how to manage your

and classes. Save yourself some money and sanity and put neces-

finances… So this week I have a rundown of general life tidy-ups that

sary tasks first.

make being saving-savvy a wee bit easier in the long run. It doesn’t always need to be about counting pennies! More blankets, less heater. Everybody knows this… But if you turn

day on a positive spin. It’s much easier to make wise choices when

the heater off and chuck an extra blanket on you are snugglier and bet-

you are happy, and you are happier when other people actually like

ter for the earth. As far as I am aware, onesies are also still in season.

having you around. Be that kind of a person.

Sleep more. And by sleep more I mean enough to reduce your daily

Stop complaining. In the same vein as above, if you choose to look

caffeine intake to two cups and not have 4 or 5 or 6. Coffee is a neces-

at the positive side of life instead of focusing on all of the things going

sary evil, but you can keep it at bay by getting to bed before 2am.

wrong, you’ll feel more in control. If you’re in control of your life,

Be conscious of your general health. Instead of curing your winter ills with expensive medicines and heating bills, prevent them. Oranges! Kiwifruit! Water! Regular exercise! Things are getting warmer around here, but it’s not bikini season yet – check yo’self. Work life balance. You may think working more hours will get you

Be mindful of others. You have the capacity for kindness so use it! Doing favours for others and being a general good cunt will send your

nexusmag.co.nz

you’re in control of your finances. So be grateful for the small things and you’ll spend less on unnecessary additions. Go forth, be happy, and save your cash for things that are worth it! Like the good kind of ice cream and weekend road trips.

nexus magazine

TUMBLR TRENDS A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson

This week I decided to educate myself on what is trendy in the world of mainstream Tumblr. With 10 minutes in the fashion tag and search under my belt, I am now prepared to enlighten you on how you can achieve the sexy Tumblr look. Statement Rings. Personally I think it’d be cooler if rings could actually make statements, for instance, you press the ring and it says “The howler monkey is the loudest of all the monkeys.” Dress Like Kim Kardashian or Kendal Jenner. I don’t want to write about this asshole of a family, so instead I will give you a list of celebrities who have admitted to peeing in the shower... Kelly Clarkson, Madonna, Ricky Martin and Kreayshawn. Look Like Miranda Kerr. Her face reminds me of those life-sized baby dolls every girl had in the 90s. These dolls gave young girls (and boys) the vital experiences of motherhood, at just three I was an expert in pretend breastfeeding and diaper changing. Children these days now have iPads instead, expect an epidemic of bad parenting. Skinny Legs. I was under the healthy assumption that box gaps lost their appeal alongside dreamcatcher jewellery in 2012, but tagged/fashion didn’t seem to get the memo. Headless Photos of Women. Their heads decapitated in battle, these women haunt the streets surrounding Starbucks. The Headless Women are only ever seen in complementary lighting and only ever captured by owners of a DSLR camera. Each demon has a large leather bag, hung delicately in her bent elbow, and inside are the souls of baristas who dared put full-fat milk in her trim latte. Faux Chanel. Let’s brainstorm why real Chanel isn’t as popular as fake Chanel on Tumblr. Perhaps rich people are too busy on Facebook to share their Chanel on Tumblr? Maybe the rich think Wifi is bad for their skin, so they simply don’t use the Internet at all? Like closeups of Pamela Anderson’s face, has posting images of real Chanel been banned? Or is Chanel just ugly as fuck? We’ll never know. Plaid Shirts. Wear one under a jacket, tie one around your hips as an alternative belt, or even alter a plaid shirt into a sexy skirt. Take it to the next level by tying a plaid shirt to your back whilst screaming “I am bird woman!” and throwing worms at passers-by. Hot boys will flock to you.

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FREE STUFF Louise Vs The World Louise Hutt

INSERT INTERNETMANA PUN Politics Ryan Wood

Recently I was privy to an email requesting a promo video in exchange for “work experience”. Now, I’ll happily volunteer my time for short films (ultimately about telling a story, with little to no chance of profit) or charities (photo fundraisers, designing posters, etc) but expecting someone (even students) to work for free creating something which the company expects to make money from just made me feel worse than an asthmatic at a cigarette expo. While having a portfolio of work is certainly important, people seem to forget that in the creative arts, “work experience” is hardly difficult to come by. I was photographing the parties I went to in high school and that was my first introduction into event photography (ultimately teaching me that nightclub photography was not something I, as a small female, would want to get into). A few years later, having been put in charge of photographing my grandma’s 80th, one of my cousins asked me to photograph her wedding. Using class work in a portfolio isn’t unheard of either, and some of

Welcome to the second in a series focusing on the minor parties in New Zealand politics. See? That one on ACT wasn’t a one-off. This week we’ll be scrutinising the shotgun wedding of convenience that is Internet-Mana; a cynical left-wing hybrid akin to ACT and the Conservatives uniting to form Conservact, or some such nonsense. So before you waste your valuable vote, which my cat won in game of chance, take heed of these fun facts. What’s Up With Them, Dawg? Internet-Mana was founded on the principle of acquiring seats in parliament, so that their high-ranking list members can receive a six-figure salary for doing nothing. They are led by Hone Harawira, an old racist who, if he were white, would be widely reviled by all and sundry. They are also led by Laila Harre, who is kind of cute, maybe. I don’t know. I just like smart women. They are all bankrolled by Kim Dotcom, who made his millions selling internet to pirates, or something, I’m not sure. He screened, or sold

“PEOPLE WHO LOOK TO TAKE ADVANTAGE

movies? It was illegal, apparently. Snapchat Me Some Policies, G Ok, so Internet-Mana believes in

OF NEWBIES IN THE INDUSTRY ARE THE

taxing the rich, woohoo! And they believe in free tertiary education,

SCUM OF THE EARTH...”

woohoo! And the first twenty grand you earn is tax-free or something. Woohoo! The Mana branch also supports the Treaty of Waitangi as the basis of the New Zealand Constitution, which is utterly ridiculous. The

the work I’m most proud of came from personal projects I did for myself. What annoyed me the most was that they were asking me to do it because my work experience “stood out the most”. The irony* that they were asking someone who already had sufficient work experience to do a job for “work experience” was obviously lost on them. My student loan is worth $30,000 and my time is worth between $50 and $150 an hour. It would perhaps be reasonable to offer someone work experience who had never picked up a camera before but it occurred to me that at the end of the day, they will get what they pay for. However, people and companies like that make me value those around me. If I’m ever asked to do something for friends or family, it always comes with payment of some sort, whether it’s baking, a skills trade or a fiver. I am very grateful to have people around me who not only value my skills, but the time, effort and money it took to develop them. People who look to take advantage of newbies in the industry are the scum of the earth and it’s made me realise how fortunate I am to have not dealt with them till now. *possible misuse of the term ‘irony’. We all have to have some flaws.

Treaty of Waitangi is an unchanged, hastily-thrown together document from 1840. It has absolutely no relevance or applicability whatsoever to 21st century New Zealand. Meanwhile, the Internet Party believes in superfast internets, so you can play your League of Legends at 3am super-quick and clear all your jungles, or whatever it is people do in that absurd game. Welcome to Summoner’s Drift… is… is that it? Yo, I Am A Student, What Is In It For Me? Other than fast internet and racism, you will receive, as mentioned above, a free tertiary education. Yes, you! You will also receive a universal student allowance of more monies, regardless of how much your parents earn. That means you’ll be able to afford a few more brews to drink on the roof; chur bro. Get maggot, and other invertebrates. Mana also wants to write off existing student debt, so even if you’re finishing up this year, you’ll still reap the benefits of an Internet-Mana government postSeptember 20… as unlikely as that is. They’ll also force you to join the Student Union, and probably pay for the pleasure, too. Yep, like all good Communists, they prefer compulsion over consent. One day your grandchildren will ask you what freedom of association means, and you just won’t remember. So, there you go. Whether you’re an angry brown supremacist or a misunderstood white guy with a computer, there’s something for everyone in this weird mash-up. It’s like the Nexus of political parties.

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SNAPPED

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Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.

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Blind Dat�

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US, EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

XX THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE

I don’t say so myself and did the old lean on the bar and joined her having a cocktail. After making some shitty small talk and $80 into the bar tab, we had decided to take turns ordering each other’s drinks. It was her turn to order when she came back to the love booth with cocktails and… 4 shots. I looked her right in the eyes realising that my plan A had just turned into plan D. For

In an attempt not to look like a tragic twelvie, it was all go for

some reason I found out that a singer she’s embarrassed about

the ass hugging, low cut, could be “a classy prostitute” dress.

liking is Little Wayne, I knew straight away this pretend good

That is if there is such a thing as a classy prostitute. Being first

girl was a Prom Queen. The remaining $70 involved drunk talk

to arrive I was kicking myself. Luckily, my rather cute date for the

and we began cuddling in the booth. I downed my last bever-

night arrived shortly after and we decided booze would be the

age, stood up and told her to follow me to the taxi. We were

best option for the night. I must have done a good job consider-

off to where the magic happens. I threw her on bed ripping off

ing the good people at the Bank decided I’d had enough, the

her panties in the process taking full control. It must have been

waitress telling me “the boss said he thinks you’ve had enough”.

after an hour and a half of rough fucking when she stopped me,

After the two short hours it took to sink the bar tab, we decided

shaking. I asked “What’s wrong, have you O?” She said idk and

I needed to check out his flat. Which was sure as hell better than

I found out she hadn’t before. I chuckled at how cute and inno-

my dorm room. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let’s just say from

cent she was. I told her to just go with it as I put her legs on

the review I got, I may have discovered my hidden talent. Don’t

each shoulder. The next half an hour involved me squeezing her

you love taking the walk of shame on a WEDNESDAY at 8.00

nipples while trying to cover her mouth as I didn’t want to wake

am? If I looked as hot as I was feeling…I’m sorry for anyone who

up one of the girl flatties who’s a bitch. I finished and gave her a

had to see me. Too bad about his “early class”. I could have gone

little break. 2 minutes later I turned her over and we started fuck-

for round four…or was it five? DAMN SON, you had some skill.

ing again however my flatmates came home drunk and thought

Thanks to the Edge and Nexus for hooking us up. “

it would be funny to get the bong out and blow smoke into the

PS: Your flatmates are fucking hilarious.

fire alarm… I stopped and walked out erect in front of the flatties standing in the hallway with the camera out. Well played,

XY THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE

very funny you cock blocks. I joined her in bed as they began booming “just put it in your mouth” on the stereo. The GB didn’t care and knew how to lick the lollipop as she began working down there doing this amazing ball thing. We fucked a couple more times that night before finally crashing out. I woke up to her stroking my back and slowly the horny girl worked her hand down and started fondling me and then again went down on me.

Rushing to get ready, I cut myself a few times with the razor both

I remember lying there in bed getting head at this ridiculous hour

above and below. Sprayed some deodorant on my cock, whipped

just thinking “fuck yes”. Like a gentleman I had to have some

on my still wet pants from the line and headed off.

morning sex before dropping her home. Last thing I wanted was

There she was. The Juliet I had been waiting to see was already

for her to have to walk home in her town clothes in the cold rain.

at the bar ordering a cocktail. She wore a short, tight, black dress

I never got her number or last name, but she was the one that

which outlined her nice booty. With her high heels on she must

got away. Cheers the Edge and my flatmates.“

have been just over half my height. Perfect ;) I was taking this girl home tonight. I strolled over next to her looking damn fine if

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“THE SUCCESSFUL OPTION AT THE SGM ALLOWS FOR US TO SET ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA FOR PERSONS WANTING TO STAND FOR VICE PRESIDENT MAORI...”

MORE SGM REFLECTIONS WAIKATO STUDENTS' UNION PRESIDENT AARON LETCHER

— This week I feel I should use my President’s Column to clarify

search for an appropriate person to fill the VP Maori role we included

any fears or concerns that students may have about the Special

the Tumuaki of our larger Roopu on campus (Te Whaka Hiapo, Te

General Meeting that was held on Wednesday July 30th. I have

Waiora, Te Ranga Ngaku), two representatives from the Pro Vice

heard a lot of misinformation being spread, which is unfortunate, but

Chancellor Maori office, and the head of Student Academic Services

I will do my best to clarify the changes and outline the process the

Division – as well as senior members of our own Board. This resulted

WSU will be going through over the coming months. The primary

in Steffen Van Lieshout being selected from a very promising pool of

purpose of the SGM was to propose changes to the Maori repre-

applicants. As soon as we had returned a strong Maori voice to our

sentative position on our Board, and update outdated clauses of our

Board we got to work addressing what we believed to be a serious

constitution that were no longer relevant or required due to 2012

problem. Many may disagree that there was a serious problem, and

legislative changes that altered the environment that student associa-

that is a matter of opinion, but as far as I am concerned three of

tions operate within.

the previous four people to hold the role not completing their term

Our Board met to consider how Maori representation could be improved on Tuesday the 15th of July, and decided to put what we considered to be the four best options up for discussion. We did not

The successful option at the SGM allows for us to set eligibility cri-

put forward one clear option because we felt that having the students

teria for persons wanting to stand for Vice President Maori from 2015

make the choice themselves was the fairest and most appropriate

onward, such as requiring a WSU affiliated Roopu to endorse their

way to move forward. For the same reason, the WSU did not formally

candidacy. The WSU will be actively engaging with the Maori com-

endorse any one of the four options. This was not a conversation

munity to consider how this will function over the coming months

that began on the 15th of July, but one that had been ongoing for

with the final decision to be ratified at our AGM in 6 weeks.

some time. We were unable to make a move to properly discuss Maori representation prior to this point as our Vice President Maori position was vacant following the resignation of Andrew Marama-Lyon. In our

in office is an issue for our organization’s health and the stability of Maori representation on campus.

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The SGM was not the end of a conversation but the beginning of one, and I look forward to completing this process to strengthen Maori representation both on campus and within our Board.

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DISCIPLINARY PROBLEMS?

TAXES: THE DUMMIES GUIDE MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC

—

AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN

— Every week our column presents to you some serious shit that the student support advocates are here to help you with. This week’s fast facts are all about the Student Disciplinary Committee. This is actually some pretty serious shit so there’s not many

There isn’t an easy way to digest how our tax sys-

as many jokes this week- but can you still spot the lie?

tem works because it’s a bloody labyrinth, but I’m going to try.

•

on campus.

as employers know it) for an individual is 33% for every dollar over NZ$70,000. At the other end of the scale, the minimum tax rate is 10.5% for every dime up to $14,000.

•

It includes a chairperson, administrator, lecturers, and students.

•

As a student you are entitled to a support person #advocacyfriends

•

Plagiarism comes from the Latin word plague because in the 18th century students were thought to be less clean than everybody else and the source

In the middle, every dollar you earn between $14,000

of diseases in society.

and $48,000 will be taxed at 17.5%, and every dollar between $48,000 and $70,000 is taxed at $30%.

The Student Disciplinary Committee is a group of staff and students who investigate allegations of plagiarism or misconduct that have occurred

Here goes...New Zealand’s top tax rate (or PAYE rate

•

Plagiarism includes things like: copying another student’s assignment, copying sources without proper referencing, getting someone else to do your

Before you complain that the government is bleeding us dry we’ve also got ACC levies to consider, so

assignment, submitting one of your own assignments from another paper

you will be docked a further 1.45 cents for every dollar

(yes, you can plagiarise yourself!), and submitting the same assignment as

you earn.

other people in your class.

Now let’s throw PAYE and the levy together – some-

•

If you are called to appear before the committee you will be sent a letter

one earning $30K, for example, will be taxed 18.95

outlining the situation as well as making a time for you to sit down with the

cents per buck they earn (17.5 plus 1.45).

committee and explain your side of the situation.

I also need to point out that if I have a sexy income

•

How can we help, I hear you ask? We can walk you through the process, help you write a submission to the committee if you choose to, be your support

of say $75K (wouldn’t that be nice) only the $5K will be taxed at 33%, every dollar from $70k down to $48k

person at the meeting, or sometimes we can even speak on your behalf. Think

will be taxed 30% and so on.

of us at your misconduct ninjas, chur!

Phew...my head is spinning trying to translate taxes into good old fashioned English. If you suspect you’re being taxed too much don’t

•

So how can you protect yourself against the supervillain Dr Plagiarism? Apart from the dashingly handsome, yet extremely good looking team at the WSU Advocacy Office, the rest of the League of Extraordinary Supporters

forget to calculate your Kiwisaver deduction as well –

includes: the noble team at Student Learning, the brave men and women at

so many people scream fire forgetting they are tucking

the Library, your home town hero – your lecturer, and the incredibles at the

3% aside for their retirement.

International Office.

If this doesn’t make sense (hey we tried) then give Send out an SOS if you find yourself in need stop by SUB building opposite UniMart.

us a tinkle. Contact: 0800 AT YWRC, ywrc@xtra.co.nz.

Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz.

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CHICKEN SALAD Cooking for Students Zac Lyon

Carrying on from last week, I promised a meal with meat in it that won’t break an already broken bank account. ‘You can’t break something that is already broke’- well I beg to differ. Anyway, meat is a perfect source of protein, a fairly good option to stinky tofu – only by a bit… Mince is a student’s best friend but, while versatile, it isn’t going to win any awards as you try to impress that special someone. Chicken is where it is at, yo. Breasts, thighs, (sounds pretty good so far...) drumsticks, cutlets. Nearly one of these is on special at the supermarket each week at trusty ol’ Pak-n-Save. Ingredients 2-4 chicken breasts (can really be any chicken type) Handful of thyme Juice of 1 lemon Salt and pepper 3 cloves of garlic 250g cherry tomatoes 1 french stick Olive oil Large handful of fresh green beans 1 tsp wholegrain mustard 2 Tbs white vinegar Parsley and mint to garnish Directions 01_ Marinate your chicken in the thyme, lemon, salt and pepper. 02_ Throw your breasts into an oiled pan on a high heat (chicken

breasts that is) and cook for roughly 10 mins, or until both

sides are golden. Check to see if juices run clear. If pink, cook a

wee bit longer.

03_ Cook your cherry tomatoes with the cloves of garlic until skin

starts to split and set aside.

04_ Roughly cut your French stick into 1 cm cubes and douse

them in oil, salt them and throw them under the grill to make

some crunch croutons.

05_ Steam your beans. Once heated through, not too soft (nobody

likes it when it’s too soft), add in mustard, and vinegar.

06_ Chop your chicken, place on a large plate. Throw in tomatoes/

garlic, dressed beans and croutons.

07_ Drizzle over chicken rest juices plus any mustard and vinegar.

Finish with mint or parsley.

If you get stuck, head to Cooking4Students on Youtube.

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Codewords

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.

KenKen

Sequence

The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the

What shape comes next?

upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)

Syllabic

1. A european plant: 2. Purple or white quartz:

From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.

3. Without moral quality: 4. To rid of mystery:

a - al - al - al - am - cy - de - e - emp - fy - gan

5. Very large:

- gate - gi - i - is - ka - ka - ka - mi - mor - mys - nav - net - per - plu - ra - re - ry - thyst - ti tic - tic - to - toc - ze

6. Wild, reckless, destructive person: 7. To direct or manage: 8. Positive or assertive in speech, etc: 9. Government or state in which the wealthy class rules: 10. Based on what is real:

Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,

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HARD

MEDUIM

column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.

EASY

Sudoku

Draw answer here.

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Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.

9 letter words casuistic 8 letter words caustics 7 letter words casuist caustic 6 letter words cactus 5 letter words ascus cutis ictus scuta situs suits 4 letter words cuss cuts scut suit taus

Crossword

Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.

Across

39. Entail (7)

73. Prominent (5)

11. Command (5)

52. Beverage made from

1. Amphibians (5)

40. Attribute (5)

75. Resided (7)

14. Oblique (7)

apple juice (5)

4. Heading (7)

42. Notions (5)

76. Acted out (7)

16. Herbaceous plant (7)

53. Currency of Pakistan (5)

8. Strongroom (5)

44. Large feline (7)

77. Sport (9)

21. Sore (7)

56. All together (2,5)

10. Latin-American dance(5)

46. Made reference to (5)

78. Lubricated (5)

23. Boredom (5)

57. Stark (7)

12. Essential (9)

47. Building (7)

79. Planet (5)

25. Paragon (5)

59. Exuberant (9)

13. Lasted (7)

49. Japanese speciality (5)

80. Custodian (7)

26. Warned (7)

61. Resolved (7)

15. Wandered aimlessly (7)

50. Mature (5)

81. Laconic (5)

28. Bottomless pit (5)

63. Disorderly (7)

17. Ophidian (5)

51. Tooth (7)

29. Cutting tool (6)

64. Excerpt (7)

18. Entice (5)

54. Chortle (5)

Down

31. Elixirs (7)

66. Previously (7)

19. Developed (7)

55. Promised (7)

1. Eyeteeth (5)

32. Enclose (7)

67. Conundrum (6)

20. Change (5)

57. Asserted (7)

2. Grove (7)

34. Respiration (9)

68. Sound (5)

22. Evade (5)

58. Arrest (9)

3. Hung (9)

36. Insignificant (7)

70. Rubbish (5)

24. Dens (5)

60. Fabric (6)

4. Brag (5)

38. Springing (7)

71. Church officer (5)

26. Particle (4)

62. Requests (4)

5. Unfathomable (7)

41. Memory loss (7)

72. Abominate (5)

27. Leg bone (6)

63. Hex (5)

6. Feckless (5)

43. Gourmet (7)

74. Result (5)

30. Impertinence (9)

65. Musical work (5)

7. Useful device (7)

45. Mock (6)

33. Flags (7)

68. Item of value (5)

8. Sign of the zodiac (5)

46. Tapers (7)

35. Tableware (7)

69. Inactivity (7)

9. Broadside (6)

48. Anteater (7)

37. Calamitous (5)

71. Minor actor (5)

10. Large drum (7)

49. Full of flavour (5)

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