Nexus Magazine No. 16 2014

N.16 / V.46

nexus magazine

EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY MANAGING EDITOR JAMES RAFFAN

CONTENTS —

CONTRIBUTORS

_03

Editorial

_04

Lettuce to the Editor

_05

News

_08

News from the University

_09

Sport

_10

Ridiculist & Vox Pops

_11

Reviews

_14

Honest Matt

_15

Horoscopes & Playlist

_16

Auteur

_17

Arts and Stuff

_18

Know your Home before you Go

THEUNDERWATER@GMAIL.COM

_21

Much Love for that Difference

PHOTOGRAPHY

_24

Tips and Tricks for Travelling

the Earth

_25

Contiki vs Topdeck

SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP JULES CRAFT BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD KARL GUETHERT LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAUREN BARNARD LAURENCE MCLEAN GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY SARA LEMME AARON LETCHER CHRISTY GIBBS DARCIE MEGAN MORGAHNA GODWIN CAMERON GRAY BIANCA LEONARD COVER ART UNDERWATER COLLECTIVE

CAM ROBINSON MORGAHNA GODWIN YINAN ZHAO BECKI MOSS BROOK JAMES LOUISE HUTT

_27 Columns ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

OFFICES

_39

Advice

_40 Notices

GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO

_41 Recipe

KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON

_42 Puzzles ONLINE NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE

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PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON

nexus magazine

EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT

— ’m riding high this week- I’ve finished my thesis. I bound it up all

afternoon (fuck yes, sleep in) knowing that I actually don’t have to do

pretty and handed it in. I fantasised about killing someone with it-

a damn thing if I don’t want to. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m actually

I

not because I’m a psycho, but because it’s so huge and glorious

that I thought could be a pretty legit weapon.

reading a book for FUN this week. Whatever it is, I’m quietly enjoying it while pondering my next step.

Then I came down with Swine Flu. It would have been funny if I

You dream big when you start a thesis about the things you’re going

hadn’t been so ill- I created the PDF of my thesis on Sunday afternoon,

to do once you’re finished. I was convinced I was headed to Japan

by Sunday night I was sneezing and wheezing and by Monday I was a

for three glorious weeks. Then I started my thesis and realised the

complete zombie. To be honest, I’m pretty surprised that last week’s

chances of me saving money while doing it were pretty much nil. So

magazine was coherent, because I sure wasn’t. I tried to come into

in the middle of my study I told myself that when I was done I’d go

work on Thursday and ended up napping on the couch.

visit my brother in Brisbane. But of course I’ve come out of my thesis

I’m not 100%, set but I am feeling a strange kind of euphoria. It

in rather a large amount of debt.

isn’t happiness, because when people ask me what I’m going to do

I’m still hoping to get to Brisbane, but for the moment I’m planning

with my life now I can’t tell them I’m focusing on my thesis and will

a weekend trip to windy Wellington with my bestie- because I need

think about it later. It’s not excitement, because at this point I barely

out of this town. We’re going to fly down on the cheap, stay with

care what my mark is. It’s not relief, because now I have to catch up

some friends, go to the hot pools. I’m going to interrupt our plans to

on the huge pile of things that fell gently by the wayside as I studied.

drink until paralytic with a trip to the zoo or a play or something so I

I’m not sure what it is. It’s a sense of wellbeing that is quite pos-

can feel a bit cultured.

sibly chemically induced by the large amounts of alcohol I ingested

I just need someone to feed my sheep for me. Any takers?

over the weekend. Or maybe it’s the feeling of waking up on Sunday

3

LETTUCE

nexus magazine

Fuck the Police cont. JAY-Z

good on you for studying, but seriously, sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up and let the lecturer/demonstrator do their job and teach the rest of us, we dont not want to hear you screaming out answers the millisecond a question is spoken. Maybe let others speak, or just shut up for once, cause it's pretty funny when you get something wrong and go the same shade of red as what

Wow, did someone actually drop NWA lyrics? From what I hear, I think this would have worked for the driver of that van too (possibly even better). The year's one-four and in my trunk's twenty more In my rear view mirror is the motherfuckin law

I do when I try tan in the summer time. I swear because of people like this I spend more time glaring at them and wanting to punch them in the face than I do focusing on my lecture, and that is really annoying. Once again: sit down and shut up.

Got two choices ya'll, pull over the van or Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor Now I ain't tryna see no highway chase with jake Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case

Nexus Website

So I pull over to the side of the road, I heard

FAN READER GUY

"Son, do you know what I'm stopping you for?" Cause I'm young and I'm white and I've got a big load Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know? Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'? "Well you was carryin' 22 all up against the door" "License and registration and get extras out the car"

Hey, Are you guys still writing this magazine? If so, you might want to update your website dude.

"Are you carryin' a weapon on you, know a lot of you

Editor’s note: Funny you should mention that- Alix

are?"

is currently re-vamping our website and looking for

(Given who the driver was, I'm just going to jump to.......) "Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer

submissions. Also, last time I checked, I wasn’t a dude, dude. - Rach

or somethin'?" "Somebody important or somethin'?"

S.G.M

Nah, I ain't passed second year but I know a little bit Enough that you won't unjustifiably ticket me and shit "Well we'll see how smart you are when the infringement notice comes"

A PERSON WHO WISHED YOU WALKED OUT A LOT EARLIER

I got 99 problems and a cunt-stable is one - HIT ME Dear annoying lady who during the SGM meeting col-

? SUMMER JACK

DISCLAIMER:

publications take no responsibility for the

Dearest nexus

content or opinions so expressed. By sub-

You know when your in a lab or a tutorial and you know

mitting your letter you give consent to its

the answer to a question but don't speak for fear of

publication in Nexus and subsequent pub-

embarrassing yourself and getting the whole answer

lic scrutiny. Letters are the authors own

wrong infront of everyone!? Yea I know that feeling, I

work and Nexus will not edit to compen-

just sit tight and wait to see if I was right it not. but no,

sate for lack of intelligence or coherency.

some people, or should I say, there's always one per-

Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse

son, who knows the answer to everything, and wants

to publish any letter which breaches any

everyone else in the room to know they know it aswell. I

law, is defamatory to any person, or con-

swear I'm back at high school sometimes. Don't got me

tains threats of violence or hate speech.

wrong, I'm sure everyone's glad you know the answer,

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a hall of poor students; you insult everything that I am. Secondly when you are complaining about irrelevant points like free pens don’t spend the whole time complaining to the entire hall that what is being said isn’t clear, when you yelled over top of everything that was

Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus

lected lots of free pens then broke them all in front of

being said.

Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

NEWS

THE SGM AS IT HAPPENED NEXUS NEWS TEAM

— There were fireworks and thick tension at The Waikato Students Union Special

of pizza). Multiple students from different areas of the room asked for clarification on

General Meeting last week as the WSU Board of Directors sought to change some

various changes and the implications of such changes, and expressed concerns that

outdated constitutional references and discuss the continuing role of Maori repre-

the consultation process was not sufficient. One student stated that the changes

sentation and its form and function in the WSU.

proposed have a significant impact on both Maori students and non-Maori alike

Three motions were put forward to the membership and all three were carried.

and that it needed more discussion than what was offered. Another remarked “I felt

Motion one presented the membership with four options for how the position of

like I was given a vote when it wasn't my place to decide what was best for Maori

Vice-President Maori would be filled. According to WSU President Aaron Letcher the SGM “would consider the Maori

students. When I was approached by a director to come, he told me there would be free pizza, not what the main discussion would be about.”

representative role on the WSU Board and the duties associated with that position.”

All students who expressed concern were brushed off with words of assurance

However, in contradiction of his opening statement (that the S.G.M was called to

that the changes proposed were for the best. “When I asked a director why some-

“discuss the options”for Maori representation moving forward), Aaron often stymied

one from the Maori community wasn't going to speak, I was told repeatedly that

discussion, reiterating every time concerns were raised that he was trying to get

‘we have already talked to them about it’, but the vocal majority who clearly stated

the changes through so people could eat pizza.

that they had not been informed, confirmed otherwise.”

Once those votes were counted the results were as follows:

Students who were ‘polite’ and didn’t push their opinions very strongly were

•

Option 1 “That the status quo be preserved”- 19.6% of the vote.

largely ignored and not offered any practical options (such as an option to formally

•

Option 2 “That the position will be filled ex officio by a person nominated

abstain). The students who spoke up, interrupted and pushed their views were not

•

•

to a representative role within the Roopu groups on campus”- 20.4% of

ignored, but at the conclusion of the meeting still felt as though they had not been

the vote.

heard either; “Shut up” was one young non-Maori man’s method of expressing his

Option 3 “An election will be held but only persons identifying as Maori will

views on Maori representation every time someone from the dissenting group spoke,

be able to vote for the position”- 20.8%

and his eloquent response was always met with a roaring cheer from the majority

Option 4 “A general election will be held but criteria will be introduced

of non-Maori students in the room.

requiring candidates to show they have a connection with, and endorsement by the Maori community”- 36.8%

A mature Maori student who said she did not have time to engage with on-campus Maori groups was present but opted not to vote, as she did not feel comfortable

Invalid votes contributed a further 2.4% of the total voting tally.

with what was happening and the lack of information available. “I just shut my

During the meeting, it became evident that a number of students did not feel

mouth and the majority ruled anyway,” she said, “they can’t vote if they’re not

adequately informed. One student member spoke about how she felt the consulta-

informed, it’s not a real vote. They say it’s for the better, but we don’t know that, we

tion process was not sufficient and was undemocratic as the discussion paper was

didn’t have time to look into it.”

released less than a week before the meeting. She believed that left inadequate

The racial divide was evident when the woman who had spent most of the meet-

time to consider the constitutional changes. Aaron defended the consultation pro-

ing trying to speak against the changes, opted to walk out with the intention that

cess, the member parried and WSU board of director Daniel Farrell moved that the

quorum would not be met. As she walked out she implored the students in the

member no longer be heard and that motion was passed.

crowd not to “sell your vote for some pizza and a beer.” 30-odd students, predomi-

The other contentious motion sought to repeal clause 14.3.3.1 and 14.3.3.1 that read “The Vice-President Maori’s duties shall include:

nantly Maori, from various places of the meeting walked out after her. Unfortunately, because no one called for an official quorum recount as she left, the WSU was able

•

To assist the President in her/his duties (14.3.3.1)

to still count those people in the official number, the S.G.M went ahead and all of the

•

To undertake any Presidential duties in the absence of the President

motions were passed. The method of voting was vocal and not by a show of hands.

(14.3.3.2)” It was when the board silenced one Maori student’s concerns that conflict erupted between a small group of students who would be affected by the changes,

Motion three, which in the context of the meeting was largely uncontroversial, dealt mainly with syntax changes post VSM. An AGM has been called for the 24th of September to ratify the vote from Motion one.

and the majority of the students present (who had been enticed in by the promise

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nexus magazine

GLOVES COME OFF AS VEILS GO ON GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY

— The group formerly known as ISIS (now simply calling itself the Islamic State) has begun to show its true colours in the area it controls in Iraq. Until now, it had held off on implementing

INTERNET-MANA MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A THING JAMES RAFFAN

—

its strict interpretation of Islamic law, opting instead to build support among the population by rebuilding infrastructure and providing essential services. Now they’ve declared all women must cover their faces in public and given Christians the ultimatum of conversion, death, or payment of a special tax. This apparently didn’t include the 1,800 year old Mar Behnam monastery in Mosul, which they promptly stormed and desecrated, forcing the monks to flee. But it’s not just non-Muslims who are having a bad time of it.

After having been ridiculed by a large sector of the New Zealand media and described as “A marriage made in hell” it seems as though the country’s newest political party may be gaining some traction. Last week, in a

They’re also placing distinctive marks on the houses of Shia - a Muslim sect they consider heretical. History says this doesn’t generally bode well for the inhabitants. Even their own sect

meeting held at the Universities PWC building, Internet-Mana presented themselves as a cohesive political entity and a strong liberal option - mind blown. You may be forgiven for thinking that a lot of the change in perception has happened since the appointment of Laila Harre as leader. She comes with inbuilt credibility that does its best to curb the notion that the party was just the plaything of Internet mogul and probable Bond villain Kim Dotcom.

“...THE 1,800 YEAR OLD MAR BEHNAM MONASTERY IN MOSUL, WHICH THEY PROMPTLY STORMED AND DESECRATED, FORCING THE MONKS TO FLEE.”

Perhaps the Mana party can feel a little hard done by with the sudden vacuum of interest. After all most of the policies the Internet party have are all extensions of platforms Mana had long since established. Capital gains, the estate tax, The Hone Here tax (Robin Hood tax) are all firmly entrenched tenants of the liberal platform. The Internet Party has added legalisation including free marijuana and education but more importantly have brought with them a massive spotlight and media coverage to the mix. Judging by the applauding, cheering 400 people in attendance, it’s a mix that is connecting with the audience: an audience that was around 80% students. After the meeting Nexus spoke to a few of those in attendance. All the students we spoke to had never attended a political discussion before, never felt like politics was something that interested them and, in most cases attended purely to see Dotcom himself. One of those we spoke to said, “They said a lot of shit that actually made sense.” He added that he wasn’t sure if he would vote but if he did he would probably vote for them. For their part, Mana looks to have accomplished the first step toward legitimacy for the new venture with leader Hone Harawira looking comfortable in his Te Tai Tokerau seat and Georgina Beyer and Annette Sykes at least capable of upsets in Te Tai Tonga and Waiariki respectively. If the Internet-Mana alliance can also gain 5 percent of the National party vote they will do a rare double seldom achieved by minor parties. If the attendance and general vibe of the Waikato meeting is anything to go by, it may well be possible. The escalation of the conflict has sparked protests and demonstrations around the world, including hundreds of New Zealanders who attended a Rally for Palestine in Aotea Square.

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hasn’t been spared. In the last two weeks, they’ve embarked on a campaign of demolishing shrines to the prophets, which they believe encourage worship of stuff other than God. One of these was only narrowly spared destruction when local residents came out and sat down surrounding it, challenging the militants to kill them too. The ‘Crooked Minaret’ (because it’s got a bit of a lean going on) was built in 1172 and appears on an Iraqi banknote. While safe for now, it’s likely the militants will continue their attempts to destroy it, residents said. The “Islamic State” swept across Northern and Western Iraq in a series of victories last month. It had been previously fighting the Assad regime in Syria. After its territory expanded it became more ambitious, and recently claimed to be reviving the Islamic Caliphate, in which one man rules all Muslims as a successor to the Prophet Muhammad.

nexus magazine

THE MAYOR HAS BEEN DE-BALLED SARA LEMME

— The Hamilton Anniversary Gala Ball, set to happen next month, has been cancelled- much to the dismay of organisers who cannot understand why ex-Hamiltonians would not want to come back to the city that made them who they are today. Ungrateful brats. Mayor Julie Hardaker put the call out two weeks ago to all exHamiltonians to come back to the city to celebrate its 150th year since colonisation and the 90th and 50th year since the opening of Wintec and the University of Waikato respectively. Keeping in line with the general tone of the city of H-town, she promised it would be “a glamorous and sophisticated evening of fine wine, food, music, dance and entertainment.” At almost-your-entire-weekly-allowance per ticket ($175), most of Hamilton’s population (students and low income earners) were practically excluded from the event. The organisers stated a “slow uptake of ticket sales amongst targeted key stakeholders” as the reason for the cancellation and Hardaker could not provide a reason for why

NZUSA LAUNCHES CALL FOR FIRST-IN-FAMILY SCHOLARSHIPS 31 JULY 2014 PRESS RELEASE: NEW ZEALAND UNION OF STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATIONS

—

she thought ticket sales were low. However, Deputy Mayor Gordon Chesterman said he believed the ticket price, which included dance

The New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations is calling for targeted support for first-in-family

lessons and drinks, was reasonable, stating it was “disappointing and

students to address New Zealand’s cripplingly low levels of social mobility.

sad but I suppose it's a reflection of New Zealand today. Balls were

“We have produced a fully-developed and costed proposal to help break the cycle of educational

once very popular events for people to attend and this would be a

poverty. We call upon political parties to commit to bringing it to fruition,” said Daniel Haines,

reflection that that is no longer the case…for whatever reason that

President of the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA).

enthusiasm no longer extends to the older generations.” In a press release by the Hamilton City Council, there was an assur-

“The policy provides for fee-free education, and requires the institutions receiving the students to have programmes that reach into secondary schools to select and nurture the students who should

ance to Hamilton residents that there will be plenty of other pompous

be aspiring to degree-level study, and support them when they are at the institutions to succeed.

events going on to remind everyone how out of touch with the com-

Institutions will be rewarded, enabling funding for the support needed, with a completion bonus.

munity the Council are.

It includes provision for stair-casing and bridging programmes and for students taking longer to complete than the minimum, since this is likely to be a reality,” said Haines.

“...A KEY BARRIER FOR UNDERREPRESENTED GROUPS IS A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF THE BENEFITS OF TERTIARY EDUCATION AND THE LACK OF FAMILIAL SUPPORT FOR POTENTIAL STUDENTS FROM BACKGROUNDS WHERE HIGHER LEVEL TERTIARY EDUCATION IS NOT TRADITIONALLY COMMON.”

“The literature tells us that a key barrier for underrepresented groups is a lack of understanding of the benefits of tertiary education and the lack of familial support for potential students from backgrounds where higher level tertiary education is not traditionally common. Hence this policy. Once one person in a family has gone through it becomes normal, familiar, and both whanau support and aspirations are transformed forever.” “We are still arguing for fee-free education and are delighted that parties have put this on the agenda for this election. This is both a step towards that goal but also recognises that even when fees are abolished some students will still need additional support to lift their aspirations and enable their success. Supporting first-in-family students is absolutely key to transforming our society for the better.” “We call for parties who seek a better New Zealand to support this policy and to work with us and other educational leaders to make it happen,” says Haines. * The WSU Has had a First-In-Family Scholarship since 2010

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nexus magazine

NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY

ADULT LEARNERS’ AWARDS NOMINATIONS CLOSING — Nominations for the 2014 Vice Chancellor’s Adult Learners’

WSU SCHOLARSHIPS —

Awards close this Friday 8 August. If you know of an adult student who deserves recognition for their efforts, achievements and contributions toward study, nominate them for an award now.

The Waikato Students’ Union offers the following four scholarships: WSU Scholarship for Cultural Contribution – for

www.waikato.ac.nz/go/adultlearnersweek

an undergraduate student who has made an outstanding cultural contribution to the University; WSU Sole Parent/ Caregiver Awards – to celebrate the efforts, achievements and contributions of adult learners who are also sole parents or caregivers; WSU ‘First in Family’ Scholarship – for an undergraduate student who is the first member of his or her immediate family to attend university; and the WSU John Houstoun Memorial Scholarship – Open to all currently enrolled students who have completed at least one year of study and show academic diligence and contribution to the student/cultural/sporting life of the University. Applications for all four scholarships close on Friday 8 August 2014. To apply, and for more information, visit www.waikato.ac.nz/research/scholarships or contact the Scholarships Office at scholarships@waikato.ac.nz or on 07 858 5136.

LEARN ABOUT COMMUNICATING SCIENCE —

PLANT & FOOD STUDENTSHIPS —

IT’S BUSINESS TIME: WHAT WILL BUSINESS LOOK LIKE IN THE FUTURE? —

All students keen to learn about effectively communicating science can attend a free one-hour presentation on

The 2014/15 Plant & Food Research Summer Studentship

The Winter Lecture Series kicks off this Wednesday 6

Wednesday 6 August from 1-2pm in S.1.01. The presentation,

Launch is happening on Tuesday 5 August from 4-6pm

August with a look at how we will be doing business in

“Ten things you should know about science communication”

in S.1.04. Come and meet some key scientists and learn

the future. Join Chris Insley of 37 Degrees South; WMS’s Prof

is run by the Science Media Centre. No RSVPs, just turn up.

more about Summer Studentship opportunities at Plant &

Juliet Roper and Assoc Prof Eva Collins; and online entre-

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Food Research. RSVP to deanh@waikato.ac.nz to book your

preneur Steve Crowhurst, to hear how business practices

place. For more information about the Summer Studentships

will change in the years to come. The Winter Lecture Series

on offer visit. www.careers.plantandfood.co.nz/

runs each Wednesday evening in August, from 6-7pm in the

summerstudentships

Academy. All lectures are free and open to the public.

nexus magazine

NBA OFF SEASON MOVES PART FOUR SPORTS GUY

— Free Agency is slowing down at a great rate of knots, so this week will be my last group of updates.

Ray Allen (SG) is considering retirement and is considered as highly unlikely to return to the Miami Heat. If he plays on, look for him to be joining the Cleveland Cavaliers. — The Dallas Mavericks continue to deal in the off season, signing Al-Farouq Aminu (SF) to a 4 year deal. He’ll be a good back up for Chandler Parsons and will provide energy off the bench. — The Houston Rockets have signed Jeff Adrien (PF) to a 4 year deal. He wasn’t given many minutes at Charlotte, but

WHY MELBOURNE CITY F.C ARE THE TEAM TO BEAT IN THE 2014/15 HYUNDAI A-LEAGUE. SPORTS GUY - OPINION

—

once traded to Milwaukee he thrived on the boards. He’ll most likely be a back up, but can fill the 4 or 5 spot on the

Under new ownership, the team formerly known as the

floor.

Melbourne Heart look set to take the A-League by storm in

—

the upcoming season. Personally, I think they are going to

Ben Gordon (SG) has signed with Orlando. The 31 year old

win it all, and win it convincingly. Here’s why:

veteran will help in the growth on young back court Oladipo and Peyton (if this is not their starting backcourt there is something seriously wrong). — Brian Roberts (SG) has signed on to be Lance Stephenson’s back up at Charlotte.

The new owners possess one of the biggest clubs in the English premier League, Manchester City. As I’ve alluded to in the past, teams with funds usually flourish, especially when it comes to luring in new talent in the off season. Though I’m not a fan of the Melbourne based side, I will now be tuning in to every game in the starting part of their

Like I said, free agency has slowed down.

season as they have lured one of my favourite players, and the Spanish national team’s all time leading scorer - David Villa. Secured on loan from New York City F.C for 10 matches to secure his fitness before debuting in the American MLS League, Villa is arguably the biggest name to ever grace the A-League to date. Not only did they secure Villa for 10 matches, they’ve also confirmed the services of Irish footballer, Damien Duff. That name sounds familiar right? That’s because last year Damien Duff was playing for Fulham in the English Premier League. To put it simply, watching Duff and Villa go to work in the league with their footballing backgrounds is going to look similar to an 18 year old playing in 15th grade. And if you’re wondering, yes – the Wellington Phoenix have a home game against Melbourne City F.C during David Villa’s 10-game stint in the league. I know that I, for one, will be there in a heartbeat.

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nexus magazine

RIDICULIST

VOX POPS

Forms of Transport

Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.

1 Bullet Train- Japan Have a game of Daytime Night-time as you flash through the tunnels faster than a speeding bullet!

2

Charlotte, Social Science. Weirdest experience while travelling? Being mugged in Argentina. I got it back, bit of a wrestle but it was fine. Number one place you want to visit next? LA. One thing Waikato Uni could do better? Not enough papers – I study gender and womens studies. There’s only like one each year. There should be more, because I think it’s an important topic.

Camel- Egypt Not going to lie- riding a camel is super uncomfort-

Katarena, Anthropolgy and Human Development.

able, and it will try and lie down every few seconds.

Weirdest experience while travelling? Oh there’s heaps. In Cambodia

Also, it might spit on you. I said it would be an experi-

they don’t use toilet paper, we had to use squatting toilets and a

ence, I didn’t say it would be enjoyable.

hose. Number one place you want to visit next? Greece. One thing Waikato Uni could do better? Better coverage of lightwire on

3

campus.

Dogsled- Alaska Pretend you’re in the movie Eight Below as you bounce around in your sled, listening to the symphony of barking that accompanies you.

Matt, Media Studies. Weirdest experience while travelling? A local in Fiji. He just started talking to us like we’d known him for years. But he was just being

4 DUKW- London. Or um, Rotorua

friendly. Number one place you want to visit next? Britain. One thing Waikato Uni could do better? Students being more courteous. For example, my neighbours just don’t give a crap about anyone.

Amphibious truck, painted yellow like a duck. Need we say more?

5 Bamboo Train- Cambodia Ever wanted to sit and inch above a railway track on a raft of bamboo poles held together with string and

Linda, Arts. Weirdest experience while travelling? A baby threw up on me on a plane. Number one place you want to visit next? Greece – Santorini. One thing Waikato Uni could do better? More comfy seats.There's never enough.

hope? You can in Cambodia.

6 Pulled Rickshaw- Asia A guy pretends to be a horse and pulls you around the city. Ask him to neigh, I dare you.

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Bella, Science and Engineering. Weirdest experience while travelling? Sitting next to a couple. Don’t do it. Especially if they start kissing. Number one place you want to visit next? Wales. No, Ireland. No, Wales. One thing Waikato Uni could do better? Better Lightwire.

Bus- Bolivia They call it the Road of Death for a reason. If you’re keen to risk your life in an old bus with worn tyres as

Sisley, Psychology.

it hangs precariously over huge cliff faces, then the

Weirdest experience while travelling? A playstation fell out onto my

bus in Bolivia is for you!

head on a plane. Number one place you want to visit next? London. One thing Waikato Uni could do better? More food options. It makes me sick of sushi, which is sad because I love sushi.

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nexus magazine

Jersey Boys

Hercules

FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON

FILM REVIEW BY DARCIE

I fear this film will have limited appeal to a contemporary student audi-

I watch most of Dwayne Johnson’s movies, but more often than not

ence. Based on the successful Broadway show of the same name,

I’m disappointed. Fortunately (though surprisingly), this wasn’t the

Jersey Boys imposes a standard rags-to-riches generic template onto

case with Hercules. The movie is a big play on the legend and the

the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Who? You may have

mythology, and probably a take that you haven’t seen before, or were

to ask if you were born much later than 1965. For those who reached

expecting for that matter.

maturity in the 21st century the group's hit songs may well be vaguely

Directed by Brett Ratner, Hercules is set after the completion of the

recognisable - the falsetto classic 'Walk Like a Man' is a favourite of

twelve labours, where he and his company act as mercenary types in

mine - but the name of the singers will likely escape you.

order to eventually ‘live like kings’ in freedom. They are hired by the

As a piece of craft Jersey Boys is impressive, especially consid- King of Thrace to prepare his men and fight alongside them in war, ering that its director, Clint Eastwood, is now 84 years old. Once

with a sizeable reward at the end of it.

upon a time Clint was known for his static camerawork but here the

I was a bit unsure of Johnson as Hercules initially, obviously not

nonagenarian employs steadicam and tracking shots like he's Marty

because of his size or lack of muscles, but for his acting. However, I

Scorsese. However, whatever stylistic debt is owed to the maker of

liked the take he had on the character. Progression through the story

Goodfellas, Jersey Boys' script has the most benign conception of

was well done, and it was humorous, but not too much. The acting

the Mafia ever seen in mainstream American cinema. Given all the

wasn’t top notch but it was fine, and there were many familiar faces,

other Italian stereotypes - broad accents and hand gestures, parochial

like John Hurt and Rufus Sewell. There was also some good newbies

pride in the "neighbourhood" and the like - the friendly godfather cliché

such as Norwegian pair Aksel Hennie and Ingrid Bolsø Berdal – who

fits in nicely. If the music delivers as expected and the end-credit

makes a badass female addition to the company. Of course there

dance number is an innovative surprise there's something a little too

was some pretty cool action scenes spread throughout and some

reductive and pat about the rest. No amount of to-camera, multi-

clever ideas thrown in.

character narration can make this material fresh and a subplot about

The fact that there was deception in the trailer is the reason this

Valli's drug-addled daughter skews the narrative in an uncomfortably

movie worked, maybe the only reason; so, oddly, kudos to the cre-

melodramatic and borderline dull direction.

ators for doing it.

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nexus magazine

We Rise

Fortuna

ALBUM REVIEW BY RACHAEL ELLIOTT

ALBUM REVIEW BY HP

I’m going to preface this review with the fact that I’m a bit biased. Ok,

NZ ex-pats trio, Popstrangers, have returned with their second

a lot biased. I’m a fan of these artists’ previous work and as a combo

full-lengther following the much appreciated and acclaimed debut,

they’re pretty fucking exciting. Devilskin are NZ band royalty- if you

Antipodes. The now London based band may have laid down some

don’t know who they are you need to sort your shit, quick smart. I’ve

of the aggressive weaponry for this album, but they’re still armed

already got my ticket for their hugely successful We Rise tour, and

to the teeth with fuzz-guitar rock. The songs are full of pop hooks,

it comes as no surprise to me that not only did their album debut

psychedelic noise and drifting vocals. This is no sophomore slump,

at number 1, (knocking out the likes of Ed Sheeran and the Frozen

with strong structure and sharp lyrics sitting just below explosions of

Soundtrack,) it then went Gold. The album itself has it all- power, heart, grit- it’s metal as fuck. I

jangling guitar. This album is fast becoming a favourite. With a bleak tone writhing under springing guitar licks, it would be

wouldn’t have expected anything less, but it’s always nice when you

easy to write this album off as miserable London fog, but there is

love a band and their debut album doesn’t disappoint in any way,

something worth tunnelling into in the sheer noise these three are

shape or form. When I originally heard the first bars of Never See the Light on the

able to create. Opening track, Sandstorm, is stretched out and a little directionless, not unlike its namesake, but the head-bobbing groove

radio, I thought it was some rad band from overseas- I’m still not sure

of Don’t be Afraid follows and shows the swinging and shimmering

if that’s an indictment on me as a fan or a compliment to the band for

skills of this band. This is a truer representation of the album as a

their professionalism- but either way, it’s fucking rad. I struggle to pick

whole which is catchy, rhythmic, and worth those second, third and

a favourite song- of course I love Start a Revolution and Little Pills, but

fourth listens.

I’m also into the lilt of Surrender and the driving beat of Vessel. If I had

The layering of this album belies the fact this is a stock-standard three

to choose though, it would be Cherophobia. I’m not even sure why.

piece rock band. The music is dense, textured and varied. It punches

Just go buy the fucking CD already, and get your ass to a gig, ok?

above its weight on lead single, Country Kills (which they insist is not about Aotearoa) and is slow and broody on tracks like Her. With those sparking moments amongst the noise, Popstrangers have thrashed out something quite unique that lights the way for others.

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nexus magazine

Written in My Own Heart’s Blood

Limbo GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT

BOOK REVIEW BY MEGAN Looking for something a little creepy to try? Give Limbo a whirl (it Historical fiction forced into fantasy by the fact that the main character wouldn’t act like a proper 18th Century lady, this book isn’t some weird fairy-tale time travel bollocks- it’s powerful stuff. For people who haven’t devoured the earlier books yet (there are seven of them) get your skates on- because this book, which Diana refers to as MOBY, is massive- and not just in size. The book opens as Jamie returns from the dead to find his wife Claire has married his friend John for REASONS. Set in 1778, the reunited pair get pulled into battle against the British Army as it withdraws from Philadelphia. Meanwhile, Jamie and Claire’s daughter Brianna (in 1980) is up against a pack of crazies who have found out about her family’s ability to time travel. They kidnap her son, send her husband into the past (where many, many exciting things happen, which I won’t spoil) and she has to take down the ringleader with nothing more than a stapler. You’ll still enjoy the book if you haven’t read any of the previous ones because Diana does a great job of slipping important details in without boring you with a load of explanatory crap at the beginning. But for fans of the series who are invested in the characters, this offering is fantastic. The writing walks the perfect line between too

seems that the Indie games designers have been hitting the mark where great games are concerned). This 2D Puzzle-Platformer, while only black and white with cartoonish graphics, is surprisingly eerie. The minimalist style of the game draws you right into the creepfest, with the bare minimum of sound effects and music. The loudest part of the game is usually the sudden death sequences (bear traps, drownings, deadly gigantic spiders and more). For the most part, these aren't just cheap 'jump scares', since you can largely see them coming, but they will tend to cause you some concern. The story is fairly simple, as the tagline for the game says, "Uncertain of his sister's fate, a boy enters Limbo." I'll leave it at that. The puzzles can sometimes be nothing short of 'brutal trial and error' - often a LOT of error... and gruesome deaths with no music to "hold your emotional hand". This can get very immersive as a result, so if you're pretty bad with trial and error games, maybe something a little less taxing is in order. Like Tetris maybe? That said, the game has a lot of charm and the simple nature is easy to adapt to once you get started. There's a very solid sense of accomplishment to be had here though, so cast aside fancy graphics for a while and enter Limbo!

descriptive and too clipped, and you really feel like you’re there with the characters in their various timeframes. The only downside to the book is that it’s so huge your arm hurts holding it up. Mind BLOWN.

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nexus magazine

HØNEST MATT MEETS PETER DUNNE Honest Matt Guest Interview by Bianca Leonard

Why did you get into politics? I wanted to make New Zealand the best

will make tertiary education more accessible for everyone, and will reduce

place in the world to live and raise a family, the world's first truly successful

the massive loan burden with which graduates must contend. We would

multi-ethnic nation, where every citizen, whatever their background, race or

like to see more post the amendment of the Psychoactive Substances

creed is recognised as bringing a positive feature to our national table, and

Act, what is United Futures stance on drug and alcohol policy in New

where all have the chance to enjoy everything that is good in our country.

Zealand? United Future’s approach to drug policy is to concentrate on drugs

What do you think are the barriers that stop young people voting? I

that cause most harm to New Zealand communities. We believe that drug

think the reasons are different for everyone. Some common ones I’ve heard

policy should be based on expert medical evidence and social sector advice

are not people having the confidence to know they are making the best

rather than knee-jerk media hysteria. It is often overlooked but must be

choice, people being confused or overwhelmed by the decision, some

remembered that the two most harmful substances in New Zealand are

people genuinely not caring, and some are simply sick of hearing about

alcohol and tobacco. United Future has suggested making tertiary educa-

the election as the campaign goes on! I think all of these are things we can

tion essentially free, how would this work? Is it feasible? Yes it is feasible.

work on as a country to improve. What are the key issues United Future

Our policy would see New Zealand offer free education to its citizens from

will be campaigning on in the upcoming election? United Future stands

the age of 3 years old, right through to university and beyond, that is the right

for fairness and choice. We want New Zealand to be a fair and prosperous

approach. We will fund this by allowing all students to borrow living costs

country and we want New Zealanders to have choice in their own day to day

on a student loan and removing the student allowance. We see the cost as

lives. Specifically we’ll be pushing Income Sharing, our ten twenty thirty tax

a barrier to tertiary study and that’s why we want to see this policy in place.

rate policy, fee-free tertiary education, and promoting access to and conser-

Students will then have the choice to borrow or work or a combination to

vation of our outdoors and environment. How do you think these policy

fund their living costs. This will be less of a burden on students given the

issues will affect the day-to-day lives of younger voters? These policies

fees will no longer need to be borrowed.

will put more money into the hands of young voters and their families allowing them to make better decisions for themselves. Fee free tertiary study

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More at sounzgood.co.nz.

You know what? We are getting the clearest signal from your zodiac that this is a week to go out and get mashed. Drink responsibly sure, but drink often and make out with strangers in a public place.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Like the much maligned Hamilton Anniversary ball your future is up in the air at the moment, and no one likes it when their balls (or futures) are up in the air. It’s time to get grounded, get centered. So you should grab a bong and go surfing.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

It’s time to get married. Gay, straight, it doesn’t matter, the point is that it is written in your zodiac to settle down, put a ring on it and start boning like rabbits to make little baby versions of yourself. Now if only you could get a job, meet someone and fall in love. Don’t make us set a deadline, your stars command it.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Jupiter and Neptune are in perfect alignment this week. So much so that they were just down at the pub objectifying Venus. Problems ensue when Mars shows up and he is up for some mayhem and destruction. All this and more of this weeks edition of Geordie Zodiac.

Freedom is a luxury of the wealthy. In fact, clean pots and cooking utensils are a luxury of the rich. This week it might just be easier to say fuck it and eat the noodles raw. Raw noodles kinda taste halfway decent then you can play that chilli oil game with your mates to see who buys the first round.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Take solace in the fact that it may have been better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Complaining about being “friendzoned” doesn’t make you a martyr, it makes you some pseudo-rapist who can’t understand why the person you’ve have been nice to for the last two years won’t fuck you. Move on bro.

The writing is on the wall for your doomed relationship this week. It won’t be long till “We need to talk.” It’s hard to see why too, you have been the perfect significant other. You have cooked, rolled their smokes and looked after that kitten you “decided to get together.” You have even tolerated their friends, including the two that have been real dicks since you stopped fucking them in secret last week. They will never find someone as good as you.

Under strict instruction this week, the horoscopes will no longer advise you that a course of action in the stars is “What Jesus would do.” But when you think about it, according to his own autobiography he made the stars, the planets and the people so we are feeling pretty justified. Live each day like it’s your last. It’s what (insert deity here) would do.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

The red mist is descending. Just to be clear- that is anger, not some women only health thing. Don’t let anything stand in your way. Just go out and dominate like you were born to do. Be ambitious, work hard and channel the rage.

It’s about time you let your inner creative beast loose and boy does your star sign have the opportunity for you. If you are in touch with your spiritual side (which is less of a veiled masturbation reference than it sounds) you could be the next Nexus stargazer horoscope writer. Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

This week brings a sense of inner melancholy tinged with a little trepidation at what the future may hold. Perhaps you are thinking too much, just grab a bong and go surfing. Remember no one in the history of the world has ever said “I want to sleep with that one, the one in the corner contemplating their future and worrying about everything”

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

HOROSCOPES

nexus magazine

Traveling Dem Places BEATS BY J

Home Brew / Here & Now

Take

Rusted Root / Music from Party of Five

Send Me On My Way

Daft Punk / Homework

Around The World

Chris Brown / Benny Benassi / F.A.M.E

Beautiful People

Rihanna / Wreck-It Ralph

Shut Up & Drive

Red Hot Chilli Peppers / Californication Road Trippin'

Flo Rider / Good Feeling Good Feeling

Cash Cash / Bebe Rexha Take Me Home

Drake / The Catch Up 0 to 100

Foo Fighters / Greatest Hits Learn to Fly

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis / The Heist

Wing$

Lorde / Pure Heroine

A World Alone

Cazzette / The High

Sleepless

For full playlist follow nexusmagazine on Spotifiy.

15

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AUTEUR PRESENTS FEMALE DIRECTORS Auteur Dr Richard Swainson

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If women have made great inroads into the patriarchy in the last cen-

active in the digital age, producing innovative documentaries such as The

tury or so there is precious little evidence of it in movie credits. Whilst

Gleaners & I (2000). Varda's Cleo from 5 to 7 (1962), a free-wheeling account

New Zealand is rightly proud of the likes of Merata Mita, Gaylene Preston,

of two hours in the life of an actress under threat of terminal illness, is one

Jane Campion and Niki Caro, their combined output counts as next to noth-

of the glories of the Nouvelle Vague.

ing in an overwhelmingly masculine dominated industry. A study last year

5. Barbara Loden. Though Loden only made one feature before her death

claimed that for every female film director working in America there were

from cancer at age 48 it was enough to secure her place in the pantheon

15.24 males.

of female directors. Wanda (1970), which Loden also wrote and took the

The following list catalogues woman directors who have made a significant

title role in, is a downbeat story of a woman who abandons her husband

impact on the seventh art. Auteur House stocks at least one film by each.

and children for a seemingly aimless existence. It is the equal of the great

1. Lois Weber. For some historians silent pioneer Weber can be mentioned

Cassavetes films of the period, whose slow pace and uncompromising

in the same breath as DW Griffith. Her 1913 thriller Suspense uses split

approach it shares.

screen imagery and rapid editing in the manner of that great contemporary.

6. Agnieszka Holland. Holland has directed extensively for American televi-

2. Leni Riefenstahl. It is a matter of embarrassment that the most credible

sion in recent years but her best work is that done in her native Europe. In

candidate for "greatest woman director" was a personal friend of Hitler's

Darkness (2011), the true tale of Jews hidden in the Warsaw sewers during

and made her mark working for the Nazis. Nevertheless, Triumph of the Will

World War II is a return to the early form seen in her classics Europa, Europa

(1935) is the propaganda film by which all others are measured and Olympia

(1990) and Olivier, Olivier (1992).

(1938) is a sports documentary of unprecedented style and beauty.

7. Kathryn Bigelow. Destined to be remembered as the first female winner

3. Ida Lupino. An actress and star of the 1930s and 1940s, Lupino's shift

of the Best Director Oscar - beating out her ex-husband James Cameron,

behind the camera in the decades that followed was groundbreaking. Her

no less. The Hurt Locker (2008) is a near brilliant study of masculinity and

melodramas and films noir have a distinctively feminine focus. Auteur House

militarism, in some ways foretold in Bigelow's cult vampire flick Near Dark

has The Hitch-Hiker (1953).

(1987) and certainly furthered in Zero Dark Thirty (2012), a complex reflection

4. Agnes Varda. The "godmother of the [French] New Wave" is happily still

on the post 9/11 world.

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POETRY, PROSE & PREJUDICE Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf

I’ve been reading John Ashbery lately. I’m not sure why. Well, I do know

list.. Where’s the poetry, Frank! As flat and minimal as a John Cage musical

why but I’m not sure why I’m persisting. The experimental American poet

score called Four and a bit Minutes, which consisted of silence. I want my

comes with big wraps. He was dubbed the next T S Eliot – that was back last

money back!

century, of course, somewhere in the Seventies. His long poem, Self Portrait

Alright. I mustn’t get emotional. Anyway, they loved Cage as much as they

in a Convex Mirror, a meditation on a painting by some obscure artist from

loved the artist Rothko who painted flat, abstract minimalist squares, which

the late Renaissance, scooped a bag of prizes at the time.

ironically were highly emotional constructs.

The arts love novelty. "Make it new" was the modernist cry and Ashbery, along with the New York School of poets, did just that. As per Pavlov’s dog,

So, why am I persisting with the po-faced Ashbery and his somewhat laid-back obscure verse?

they despised the poetry of the previous generation. All that confessional

Well, I think it’s because I kind of like the man. He’s an old man now, born

stuff from Lowell and Sexton or the ranting of Ginsberg was just too much for

1927 so he’s pushing 90, but he comes across, on the film clips I’ve watched,

these New York sophisticates. The Sixties let it all hang embarrassingly out.

as slightly detached and bemused with the merest hint of mockery.

So, true to form, these new boys on the block reacted against all personal

All the major New York School poets were, for some reason, gay. It must

weeping, wailing and fist shaking, pulling themselves back from the heart

have been something in the water. Anyway, in one of the interviews he’s

pressed up against the window shtick. They played it cool. They eschewed

asked if it would have made a difference to his poetry if he’d been growing

madness and suicide as slightly vulgar and adolescent and retreated

up in the world today, in a world more tolerant of gays. He feigns surprise at

into a minimalist aesthetic, lowering the temperature, toning it down.

the latter assertion. “Oh really? Nobody told me,” he responds in a sardonic,

Understatement was the new black.

mystified tone. I love that.

For example, Ashbery’s mate, Frank O’Hara, writes about the death of the

He is, of course, both right and wrong. For example, here in Hamilton, a

famous jazz singer, Billie Holiday, but most of the poem blathers on about

local Anglican vicar quoting loyalty to the Bible has handed back his licence

the most banal stuff, things the poet was doing on the day down the street,

in protest at the Church’s move to bless homosexual unions.

buying some wine, having a shoe shine, checking out the local tobacconist.

What more can one say?

And he wrote about it in the most flat prosaic way as if it was some grocery

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nexus magazine

Know Your Home Before You Go RACHAEL ELLIOTT

?Before abandoning NZ like a rat off a sinking ship, take some time to explore our glorious shores and discover why we live in the best place in the world. I don’t understand why people leave this country.

Waiheke for an afternoon or three. I’m not promising

Oh wait, yes I do. The National Government. Money.

that accommodation will be cheap or that Aucklanders

Opportunity. Actual jobs. (Let’s not think about it.)

won’t spoil your vacation, but I am saying that they

If you’re looking to travel, NZ is the best place to

have a rad nudist beach and brilliant bars. If you do this

start. I may have been raised by wolves, but at least

in summer, just take a bottle of vodka and a sleeping

those wolves insisted that I learn about my own coun-

bag and camp out under the stars. Make sure you have

try before going overseas. Either that or we were just

a cuddle buddy though, it can get cold at 4am.

too poor to travel anywhere else. Anyway, my point is

But I want to swim with the dolphins and shit!

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO PAY EXORBITANT AMOUNTS OF MONEY IN AIRFARES AND YOUR PLANE WON’T GO MISSING IN SOME HUGE GOVERNMENT COVER-UP.”

that we are blessed to be born in the best country in

We have that here too- pretty much everywhere.

the world. We have it all. In one day you can go from

You’ll pay through the nose for it unless you get a grab-

a pounding black sand beach on the west coast, to

one deal, but you’d pay through the nose for it overseas

a desert, to a waterfall, to a white sandy beach. The

too. You can swim with dolphins in Auckland, Tauranga…

best part? You don’t have to pay exorbitant amounts

probably other places but I’m too lazy to research it.

of money in airfares and your plane won’t go missing

My favourite experience of this was swimming with

in some huge government cover-up. Below are some

Hectors dolphins in Akaroa, near Christchurch. These

of my favourite places in NZ, and reasons people leave

are close cousins of the highly endangered Maui dol-

the country, even though they don’t have to.

dorsal fin and stripes. Make the most of this while you

Dude. You’re on one. If you’re after a sandy beach

can, because if Simon Bridges has his way there will

and a cocktail there are a huge number to choose from.

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phins, and have the same ridiculously cute rounded

I want to go to a tropical island!

be no dolphins left in NZ at all.

If you want to be close to home there’s Coro or the

And if you wanna swim with really big fish on a

Mount. If you want to get real fancy on it, bowl over to

marine reserve? Hit Goat Island (in Leigh, north of

nexusmag.co.nz

PHOTOGRAPHS: BROOK JAMES

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nexus magazine

Auckland.) Just don’t feed the snapper by putting a

is Punakaiki in the South Island. They have rocks that

piece of sausage in your mouth. It’s all fun and games

look like pancakes and huge blow holes. You can walk

until someone loses a lip. (If you see that guy, don’t ask

in sub-tropical rainforests, kayak the river or you can

him about it. It’s still a bit raw for him.)

make a knife (apparently). I’m not sure what the story

I figuratively want to party so hard I need to be

with that last one is. I want to have a heart pounding adventure!

hospitalised! I’ve been trying to think of the best place in NZ to

1) Go do one of the myriad of our heart pounding

get fucked up, but I’ve decided that it all depends on

adventure tourism activities. Sky dive, bungee jump,

who you’re with. So put together a road trip and go

swing on that huge swing looking thing in Rotorua.

anywhere you like. Auckland’s snobby, Wellington’s

Jump on one of those scary jet boat rides that scream

hipster, Christchurch is a bit munted because of all

up and down a ridiculously shallow river, or climb the

the earthquakes but still fun, and we all know what

Harbour Bridge.

Hamilton’s like- fucking rad. If you want to go all out

2) Go on a proper adventure. Climb a mountain, do

get tickets to the 7s or the 9s, or hit Mardi Gras. Better

the Tongariro crossing, or head over to Great Barrier

yet- throw the world’s sickest house party.

Island and tramp the fuck out of it. Our country is

I want to see some rad history!

extreme before you add any sort of gimmick. Get

While NZ is a relatively young country in terms of

amongst it.

habitation, we have a long and illustrious volcanic history. Rotorua is the obvious choice here.

3) Go stay the night in the Waitomo Hotel. Not only is it stunning, fancy as and run by amazing friendly

Visit Whakarewarewa’s living Maori village and eat

people, it’s also the most haunted hotel in NZ. I had

“IF YOU WANT A MUD MASK, CHAT TO SOME LOCALS AND FIND A SAFE PLACE TO DO THAT. PLEASE DON’T JUST BOWL IN AND PUT YOUR FACE IN A MUD POOL UNLESS YOU’RE SURE IT WON’T MELT OFF.”

an egg cooked in a thermal pool (at least, that’s what I

in a sceptic and came out convinced. Everyone in our

go for a stroll through the thermal valley. They have

group experienced something- we heard the maid

500 hot springs, 65 geyser vents and a stunning array

pushing her trolley in the hallway, children giggling

of colourful terraces and pools which you should defi-

and felt weird cold patches when walking around after

nitely not swim in unless directed otherwise. But the best part about visiting Rotorua is that you

dark. But by far the creepiest thing was finding faces in the windows when looking at our photos. The energy

don’t have to visit tourist-y places to experience the

doesn’t feel negative- just a bit cheeky. If you’re brave

majesty. Don’t pay $60 for a hot spa, bowl a half hour

enough to stay a couple of nights there are glow worm

down the road and jump into Kero creek for the arvo.

walks and caves you can go into that don’t cost you the

If you want a mud mask, chat to some locals and find

millions of dollars you’ll spend at the main tourist site.

a safe place to do that. Please don’t just bowl in and

I want to ride an Elephant!

put your face in a mud pool unless you’re sure it won’t

That’s animal cruelty, GTFO.

melt off. We have a huge variety of weird and wonderful natural sites to visit, and one of my all-time favourites

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the privilege of staying there earlier this year: I went

did last time I was there). If that’s not really your thing,

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Much Love for that Difference JULES CRAFT

Jules tells us about the weird and wonderful travelers he’s met, and why you shouldn’t discount people because they’re different. People from other cultures might find you pretty odd too! “The world is a book and those who do not travel “trippers” that I have met. Francis Anthony Bradley. This man is the clos-

only read one page.” I’ll never understand people who look down on

est to Jesus I have ever come. I don’t mean this as

someone for being eccentric or different. I can under-

blasphemy, I just mean that if I could pick someone

stand being uncomfortable with someone being a

close to Jesus not only in looks but also in the way he

little trippy or doing something that you’re not used to,

treats people it would be Francis. I first encountered

but to write another human off just because they’re a

this beautiful soul at science camp in y13. With a big

little different to you is a completely foreign concept

bushy beard and a smile that could knock your socks

to me. I guess I’ve been lucky in the fact that when I

off, Francis quickly made friends with everyone. He is

“HAVING ALL THESE DIFFERENT PEOPLE ROLLING THROUGH MY LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME HOW COMPLEX PEOPLE CAN BE AND ALSO HOW MUCH YOU CAN LEARN FROM SOMEONE WITH A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE.”

was growing up my parents had a constant stream of

the only person I have met who I could wholeheartedly

random foreigners coming to live with us. Having all

tell you has love for every single human being he has

these different people rolling through my life has taught

ever encountered. He had this uncanny ability to look

me how complex people can be and also how much

you straight in the eye to deliver a heartfelt compliment

you can learn from someone with a different perspec-

without flinching. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it

tive on life. Sure there are going to be assholes along

made me feel really uncomfortable when he did it in

the road and I wouldn’t expect you to like every single

front of everyone in the room, but it was still rad. The

person you meet, I just wish more people realised that

other thing I never understood was his ability to feel

they are more likely to receive something positive if

genuine pain for other people. It was an effort getting

they open themselves up to new people. To demon-

into politics with him because he was so passionate

strate, I’m now going to tell you about my favourite

about helping others. Never once did he talk about

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PHOTOGRAPH: BECKI MOSS

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himself in these discussions, it was always, and I mean

in the family had ever meet Nami, however the olds

always about helping out the population as a whole,

were constantly inviting people they knew through

reducing poverty, fighting for education, and equal

some random European connection to come stay,

rights. Francis taught me to open my heart more than

so it wasn’t really a big surprise when she arrived. I

anyone else. He is still one of the most peculiar human

remember at this time being an insensitive little fuck. It

beings I have ever met but I will never regret giving

wasn’t like I was flat out mean on purpose or anything,

him my time and attention even when I was unsure

I just hadn’t learnt how to maturely assess the way

what he was all about.

my words and actions affect other people. I remember

Luca Zuppula. I spent my summer with a crazy

one night after she had just cooked me a delicious

French man. Luca is one of the most ferocious and

Spanish seafood paella thinking it would be funny to

yet lovable characters I have ever met. I’m not going

tell her the meal was average if not terrible (something

to defend him, he did rub some people up the wrong

along these lines- it was ages ago). I think I ran into a

way. His entire mindset was if you’re not rude to me I

cultural barrier here because I’d expected a smile on

won’t be rude to you. This sounds like an ideal mindset

her face at the joke, but instead I saw her face break

but when you add in the fact that often he completely

and her heart crack a little. I think because she hadn’t

overreacted to people’s actions around him and in turn

absolutely nailed the English language yet she couldn’t

denied that he was ever in the wrong it was a recipe

think of a reply and instead her body language said it

“I REMEMBER AT THIS TIME BEING AN INSENSITIVE LITTLE FUCK. IT WASN’T LIKE I WAS FLAT OUT MEAN ON PURPOSE OR ANYTHING, I JUST HADN’T LEARNT HOW TO MATURELY ASSESS THE WAY MY WORDS AND ACTIONS AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE.”

for disaster. He got himself into a lot of sticky situations

all. I’d just made a lady who had put her heart and soul

because of this but the thing I loved most was that he

into a meal for me, feel bad about herself because of

never expected anyone to clean the mess up for him.

what came out of my stupid mouth. Seeing that slice

Luca is a strong human at 19 with only a lick of English

of emotion cross her face taught me the power of my

to his name, he made his way over to New Zealand

words and I began to understand much more how they

to see what would happen and hopefully catch a few

can effect different people in different ways.

waves while he was at it. He does everything with

Be a good cat to more people, don’t judge too quickly,

flair and passion and he never once cared what other

and don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone by

people thought of him. He is still to this day the only

starting a relationship with someone a little out of your

man I have had daily dance and rap battles with while

normal world view.

cooking dinner. Going on a mission with him was epic because he was always so full of energy and had an absolute dedication to adventure. Luca taught me to cultivate my own thoughts and take responsibility for my own actions but above all he taught me to enjoy life and approach everything I wanted in life by applying 100% of myself. Nami. In year 10 we had a Spanish lady by the name of Nami come live with us for a few months. No one

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Tips and Tricks for Travelling the Earth MORGAHNA GODWIN

Ten pointers from an experienced traveller on how to save money and, amongst other things, find yourself. 6. Load your iPod with a good album. As I was

handle India? Tell that to your diarrhoea.

riding a camel through India the kitch tunes of

1. Wash your undies as you shower.

Bastille got me through that lumpy ass shit.

Come to think of it I used to do this when I was

7. Travel alone. It is the most rewarding experi-

in uni anyway. You're welcome.

ence and you will find you very quickly.

2. Fuck relationships. You're young. Don't go

8. Hand sanitiser. Hand sanitiser. Hand sanitiser.

travelling with your spouse. You will hate each

Hand sanitiser.

other. Let that muffin (or banana) free - the world

9. If you're travelling long haul to England or the

deserves your fruitful loins. And, you will save

USA don't sleep for 24hours. This way you will

money.

sleep the majority of the flight and adjust easier

3. People think laptops are too heavy. Laptops

to jet lag.

are never too heavy. A good Macbook will go a

10. If you need to go to hospital, go. Fuck travel

long way, and probably save your life.

insurance complications. Trust me, existence

4. Noodles are a cheap lifeforce. So is tuna - learn

is more important. My friend now has 9 toes

to like it.

thanks to an infected cut. Not to mention I got

5. Warning: if you're travelling in Asia take water

a spider bite and refused hospital only to find

purification tablets. Just do it. Evian water is not

myself on a drip for two days. That's some seri-

your friend.

ous shit.

PHOTOGRAPHS: MORGAHNA GODWIN

So you want to see the world? You think you can

nexus magazine

Contiki vs Top Deck CAMERON GRAY

We put these two tour giants head to head in an epic battle. First off I just want to say that for any of you out

First up we will discuss the differences reported:

there who have had to suffer through the pain of

Accommodation & Price: While each company pro-

a research paper 101 you, like me, will be amazed

vides a range of options (i.e. hotel only, mix of hotel

at this revolutionary method of drawing upon

and hostel, or camping) the overall consensus is that

evidence-based information to guide you towards

Top-Deck seems to be marginally cheaper. On the

a conclusion...INTERNET REVIEWS! Many reviews

particular tour we were looking at it was over $1000

are not only informative but are also highly entertain-

cheaper for a comparable tour. However Top-Deck has

ing as well, i.e. everyone on the tour bus had been

a separate compulsory food fund which means that the

through each other at least twice before the journey

end difference was more like $200. However for those

was complete. (That was Contiki FYI, and for some of

of you megie lovers out there that is a whole lot of kai.

you readers that will be enough to make the decision

Or one particularly fancy dinner when you reach Rome?

for you). But for the rest of you please read on as we enlighten you with these pearls of wisdom.

The catch with Top Deck being cheaper is that there are far more nights on le tour spent in group Hostel

“THAT MEANS COSYING UP WITH YOUR FELLOW BUS COMPADRES… SINGLE SEX ROOMS ONLY HOWEVER YOU DIRTY BASTARD SO DON’T GET ANY IDEAS. I AM SURE THERE IS PLENTY OF TIME AND SPACE ELSEWHERE FOR HANKY PANKY...”

Want to see many as many places as possible in a

accommodation. That means cosying up with your

limited time frame? Then maybe you're like the 1000s

fellow bus compadres… SINGLE SEX ROOMS ONLY

of Kiwis and Aussies who go on Contiki and Top Deck

HOWEVER you dirty bastard so don’t get any ideas. I

tours each year. There is one common theme on each

am sure there is plenty of time and space elsewhere

of these options which you must be OK with before

for hanky panky and your bus mates don't really want

you consider going on your trip, and that is drinking,

to hear all your shenanigans.

partying and Australians.

Contiki accommodation is consistently rated higher

After an in-depth detailed review of ...well...reviews,

as they have more properties they own or run outright

we have managed to isolate a few key differences

ensuring a minimum standard is upheld. (Also they

between these two options. We have also puzzled out

have a chateau in France which you may get a night

the key question you have to ask yourself when making

or two at during your tour which is completely out of

your choice.

reach for Top-Deck.)

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PHOTOGRAPH: YINAN ZHAO

nexus magazine

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nexus magazine

Tour Managers: Keeping in mind that a lot of people

it is up to you how much you partake in the liquid hap-

write reviews only when pissed off the internet has

piness. But do consider whether you like the idea of

decreed that Contiki Tour managers are in general

bussing it with 30 sick people, half of whom are spew-

more professional and better at ensuring a positive

ing out of at least one of their orifices... (O.K. I may be

experience. Both companies have good and bad tour

a little biased against this.)

managers we are sure but Top-Deck definitely got the

Finally the question that made the decision for us

rap for having the worst. One reviewer reported that

was destinations. Before looking into your trip decide

their manager was so bad it put a real downer on the

what your must-haves in your trip are. You are spend-

experience as the guy was only there to shag and get

ing a lot of money to go halfway around the world so

pissed and wasn't really bothered about anything else.

you don't want to miss out on something. "#noregrets"

Atmosphere: Atmosphere is something intangible...

fits well here, even though it is a slogan for Contiki,

magic even, and yes it has been reported that this

it applies to both. We ended up choosing the tour

magical feel generator differs between the two.

that went to the most places we wanted to see. This

Keep in mind that it will depend a lot on who else is

happened to be Top-Deck which is also conveniently

“SO THIS MEANS A GREATER IMPETUS TO GET WASTY ALL THE TIME AND THAT THE AMAZING EUROPEAN LOCATIONS ARE MERELY A BACKDROP TO YOUR EPIC ROADTRIPPIN’ RAGE.”

crammed into the bus with you but the consensus is

cheaper. Our view is that even if it doesn't have as

that Contiki is the more Party Party Party (said in a

many bells or whistles as Contiki we will still be having

Dotcom accent). So this means a greater impetus to

the adventure of a lifetime and our experience will be

get wasty all the time and that the amazing European

what we make of it. I reckon its gonna be fuckin awe-

locations are merely a backdrop to your epic roadtrip-

some and can’t wait to jet off.

pin’ rage. While in theory this may be appealing, even ideal, there will be consequences... Yes, those things your parents talked about way back when. Side effects of epic rage times include: hangover, prolific projectile puking, terrible selfies, memory loss and chlamydia. These will all be temporary, unless you lose your mate in Eastern Europe. In this situation my learnings from Hostel 1,2, and 3 is that they are more than likely dead somewhere so carry on. Top Deck is by no means a walk in the park either with plenty of party time happening as well as being interspersed with a decent amount of sightseeing. We do realise that in the end

27

nexus magazine

PERFECT YOUR POUT Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady

Hey Sugar Lips, do you want to know how to create a perfect pout and have it last through Friday night drinks with minimal touch ups? Follow these six easy steps to help you rock beautiful bold and classic lips that are on trend this season. You will need concealer, translucent powder, lip pencil and matching lipstick. You’ll also need a concealer brush and a lip brush. 01_ Apply concealer on your lips and dust with translucent

03_ Clean your lip edges up with a q-tip and correct any lines. 04_ Fill your lips in completely with your lip pencil. 05_ Conceal the outer edges of your lip line to create clean lines and stop your lipstick from bleeding. 06_ Use your lip brush to fill in with your chosen lip shade. Sweet Tips •

Highlighting your cupids bow will enhance your pout.

•

Dark lip colours make lips look smaller (great for fuller

powder; this will make your colour bolder and help set your

pouts) Light lip colours make small lips look bigger – add gloss over top to enhance.

lip colour. 02_ Starting with your cupid’s bow, draw in your peaks and then fill in the middle of your lower lip, checking the balance as you

•

Custom blending is popular at the moment, try blending dark to light or light to dark to create eye catching lips!

go. Next, starting in your outer corners follow your lip line and connect to your cupid’s bow and centre lower lip.

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sweetpaintedladynz.com

nexus magazine

FUCKTARDS ARE AMONG US Aunty Slut

Dear Aunty Slut,

is probably going to be in your lives forever. Be as calm as you can about

My boyfriend is lovely but his best friend is a real dickhead. He talks about

it. Explain to your man that when his mate talks about women like that, it

women like they aren’t human, (“the one with the big boobs”) he gets petu-

makes you wonder if that’s how he feels about women too, and why that’s

lant when he can’t ‘pull’ some girl to sleep with him (whining about how

not cool. Explain that it’s not much of a leap from disrespecting your gender,

‘bitchy’ girls are), encourages my guy to cheat on me and he hasn’t bothered

to disrespecting you personally, and that when his mate behaves like that,

to learn my name (even though I’ve been with my guy for nearly a year).

it makes you wonder if he talks about you in a similar way when you’re not

Whenever he’s around I get really tense and by the time he leaves I’m a

around. And darling- have you ever heard of the saying ‘birds of a feather

wreck, wondering if my man talks about me like that when I’m not around.

flock together’? There’s every chance that your guy plays shit up when you’re

I’ve tried to talk to my guy about it but he’s fobbed me off. I don’t want to

not around, because let’s face it, couples bitch about each other to their

cause problems in my relationship, but I’ve had enough of this bullshit. What

friends. But there’s a difference between having a good natured whinge

do I do?

and being a cock. Make sure he’s aware of the difference. (As a general

I am Someone

rule, describing your significant other as a ‘bitch’, a ‘nag’, a ‘ball and chain’ or in any other derogatory manner makes you a cock. Complain about the behaviour, not the human.)

What a charming fellow. I’m assuming this nutless pissant has some sort

I know it’s a hard line to walk, but don’t feel like you have to put up with this

of redeeming feature, otherwise your man wouldn’t want to hang out with

wanker’s bullshit. Try and call him on it without upsetting your guy, and com-

him. Then again, the pull of the brotherhood is strong, and completely fucking

municate with him about the way it makes you feel when his mate is around.

illogical. But regardless of how awesome you are, and how douchey this guy

At the end of the day, you’re the one in his bed. He wouldn’t put up with

is, I’m telling you right now- you will not win this fight. Your guy has chosen

anyone else treating you like shit, so ask him why he puts up with his mate

this poor excuse for a man as his family, therefore no matter how much you

doing it. And if you need me to come nut punch this fucktard, Aunty Slut is

hate him, you have to love the dickhead too.

at your service.

That doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself though. If he says something that offends you, call him on it. I really fucking hate it when people

Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz

PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT

Dear I am Someone,

accept the misogynistic bullshit that goes on around them because they don’t want to be seen as a ‘bitch’. If pointing out your flaming asshattery makes me a bitch, then I’m more than happy to be one. Who knows? Maybe if enough people start pulling guys on bullshit behaviour, things will change. Most boys don’t even realise they’re being disrespectful when they reduce women to body parts. (Sad, but true.) So the first time you hit your guy’s mate up, pretend he’s your slightly annoying younger brother and try to do it nicely. Maybe something like. “Oh dude, really? I love you, but when you say stuff like that I want to nut punch you.” When he asks why, point out that describing a woman purely by the size of her breasts reduces her entire personality to how desirable she does or does not look, and why that’s problematic. Point out that you’re a human being too, as are all women, and that learning their names- and yours- might be a solid start to not being a fucktard. If he persists (and they often do) decide which battles you want to pick, and pick them, hard. If it’s the way he talks about women, start referring to him as ‘the one with the lazy eye’, or ‘the one whose balls are painted on’ or my personal favourite- ‘the one with the saggy old man tits’ both to your partner, and to the shit head’s face. If your man has a problem with that, tell him you have a problem with his acceptance of the way his mate disrespects you. Because there is no excuse for this waste of space to not know your name at this point. Whenever he arrives at your house, introduce yourself. “Hi ‘the one with the saggy old man tits’, my name is Jane.” Remind the pissant every time you see him until he gets it. You’re going to walk a fine line here- you need to make your point without harping on about it. It’s much easier if you don’t accept any of this sort of shit from the outset- but you need to communicate to your man that the way his BFFL treats you hurts you- especially because the slimy bugger

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nexus magazine

A BICEP BROMANCE Fitness Bro Lauren Barnard

It feels like a betrayal of every student instinct I possess

Once a competitive rower, he retired in 2004 and went trav-

to be so cheery at 6:30am, but the warm weight of instant

elling – and that, he says, is when he “got fat”. I try not to fly

coffee fills my belly as the UniRec Sports Hall fills with

head-over-heels into the tyre I'm flipping, and look over at his

semi-familiar faces, and life is good.

effortless athleticism dubiously, but he insists. “I noticed I was

I feel almost rude interrupting the two men's jovial conversation to introduce myself. Co-workers and great mates from

“‘I TRY NOT TO FLY HEAD-OVER-HEELS INTO THE TYRE I'M FLIPPING, AND LOOK OVER AT HIS EFFORTLESS ATHLETICISM...”

way back, Nick and Craig actually

When he returned from the great blue yonder, Nick found a

work with U Leisure; when we

job, but simultaneously found himself office-locked and gain-

partner off, I pair up with Nick,

ing more weight. “Then my bromantic buddy talked me into

and spend the next half hour

doing this silly thing called Tough Guy.”

berating myself for breaking up

“I instantly thought 'that's not for me', knowing that my tes-

such a beautiful, self-professed

tosterone levels peaked many years ago and I no longer have

bromance. He doesn't seem

any desire to prove myself in the physical sense. However, I

to mind though, jogging circles

did think it could aid me in blowing out some unwanted artery

around me as I try to strike up a half-audible conversation through my puffing. So what is it about the Tough Guy that induced these fit fellows to follow the trend? “Craig made me do it,” Nick laughs. “Peer pressure! But now it's fun.”

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getting fatter and fatter, and I wasn't going to get thinner and thinner by keeping on doing what I was doing.”

plaque build-up.” I'm pushing my limits just to keep up as Nick pounds out push-up after push-up, looking anything but sickly. “If it wasn't for my bromance with Craig, I could be laid out in a hospital bed with angina. Do I owe the man my life? Probably not. But I do owe him my health and I thank him every day for that.”

PHOTOGRAPH: CHRISTY GIBBS

nexus magazine

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA Overseas Experience Christy Gibbs

I gotta say, Seoul wasn’t the most inspiring trip I’ve ever taken.

sure, but to each their own I suppose. Unfortunately, Seoul also

Which isn’t to say I regret visiting the place – I didn’t have any particu-

reminded me a lot of Auckland. A much larger and slightly classier/

larly negative experiences there, and I had fun since I was hanging

more cosmopolitan version of Auckland, of course (which, you know,

out with friends – but if I ever go to South Korea again, I doubt I’d

probably isn’t that difficult to achieve), but Auckland nonetheless. It

want to revisit Seoul. On the positive side, the city isn’t short of inter-

felt vaguely lifeless, and people mostly acted like nobody else around

esting places to see: the vibrantly colourful Gyeongbokgung Palace,

them existed. There was lots of line-jumping and spitting on footpaths

picturesque Bukchon Hanok Village, and enormous (and slightly seedy,

and cutting across one another for no real reason – but more signifi-

but in a fun way) Sinseol-dong Flea Market were all highlights of my

cantly, I was just left with the distinct impression that nobody gave a

4-day self-tour. On the even more positive side for an ex-student like

crap about anyone else. I chose Seoul as a travel destination mostly

myself, Seoul seemed really cheap. Food, shopping, and transport

because it was easy to get to from Japan, where I currently live, but

didn’t cut into my budget much at all, and were achieved with the bare

in hindsight, I should perhaps have taken more care in choosing which

minimum of fuss despite the fact that I speak/read zero Korean. The

part of South Korea to explore.

pervasive posters advertising plastic surgery were a bit of a put-off,

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nexus magazine

SMART SHOPPING Cash Hacks Alix Higby

So you have some money do ya? You’re tryna figure out what to do with it, eh? Well, before you whip that card out of your wallet and swipe it through a machine, check these handy hints. If you’re smart about it now, you’ll have more $$$ to work with later. Rich people are just cheap people deep down. Put it back on the rack. Stop that impulse buy by giving yourself a chance to renege. Even if you simply take one more lap around the mall, second thinking will do your wallet wonders. I wish I’d grabbed a coffee or donated to street collectors or something, anything, before I laid $200 down in 2009 on a fluoro yellow satin coat I would only wear twice. It looks tacky, has no resaleable value whatsoever, and now hangs there in my wardrobe feeding the moths. For grander, more frivolous purchases give it at least 30 days. Buy based on quality and reliability. Think you’ll

difficult for mid-lecture procrastination. If you

use something over and over again? Invest!

have gone as far as memorising your credit card

Replacing cheap appliances can get really fuck-

number but you desperately need to curtail your

ing annoying, especially if you’re a student

expenses… cut it up and get a new one. WHOA

who needs that extra $20 for groceries and not

SO EXTREME. But also effective.

another piece of shit toaster. The same goes for

Food shop AFTER a meal, not before. Don’t do

winter coats and car parts. 100% wool and in a

it, man. I know it’s easy to hit the supermarket

neutral season-less hue = wear every season,

after the gym but it’s not the way. Hungriness

newer parts = fewer trips to the mechanic.

leads to pies and chips and no meal planning.

Don’t save your credit card info. This is a ploy!

Tasty shit, but shit none the less. Do your shop-

A scheme! They just want your money! If you

ping on full not empty and it’ll be helluva boring

have to dig out your card details each time you

but a shit ton cheaper and probably healthier.

make an online purchase then you really need

Also if you make most of your meals at home

to be sure about it. If it’s easy, is it worth it?

you’re less likely to make spontaneous trips to

Delete all your history and remove all your

the café for chocolate brownies between classes.

passwords to make online purchases way too

Don’t let yourself make decisions based on hunger, just like you should never go to bed mad. Things last longer that way. If you have any helpful cash hacks of your own, or you have a specific moola related issue or question then hit me up at alix@nexusmag.co.nz. I am also on the lookout for online contributors on a completely unrelated note for those of you still reading…

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“HUNGRINESS LEADS TO PIES AND CHIPS AND NO MEAL PLANNING. TASTY SHIT, BUT SHIT NONE THE LESS.”

nexus magazine

WAIKATO’S FASHION FAUX PAS A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson

I love the phrase faux pas, especially when people with

a fine young stranger trailing five metres behind, it was safe

lisps say it. Actually when someone with a lisp says anything

to say all was well, until he whipped out his phone and began playing Skrillex. This isn’t even about fashion anymore, this is

it’s pretty great. Transparent Pants. I’ve seen this at Uni a lot recently, the tight white shorts with the electric blue briefs, the black leg-

a warning. I have bigger and better portable speakers than you Skrillex boy, and I am not afraid to blast Rod Stewart at you.

gings that show your stripy underwear in the light. I kind of

Stretchy Nylon Chokers. Nylon is for fishing, not covering in

like knowing what kind of underwear you all wear, though you

plastic and wearing around your neck. You look like a fucking

probably don’t want me knowing. Maybe you do though, if so

child.

snapchat yourself in your underwear @felineland.

Camouflage. I can’t see you! Jokes, I totally can. Camo is

Socks and Sandals. If you say “socks and sandals” really

universally hated by just about every person who refers to

fast it begins to sound like “sexy”. Is this a coincidence? You

women as ladies and believes in the gender binary, meaning

bet your ass it’s not. Socks and sandals are effortlessly chic,

you should probably wear camouflage clothing more often.

as are you (wink).

Deconstructing the institutionalised oppression of women,

Ugg Boots. Though probably not actual Ugg boots, have you

here I come!

seen the price of those things?! According to the internet,

Cross-Print Clothing. Do you even believe in Jesus? But seri-

wearing Ugg boots in public is a big no-no. On the official

ously, your provocative t-shirt with a studded cross makes you

2014 list of “no-nos”, Ugg boots ranked second, ahead of tax

look anything but edgy.

evasion, income inequality and drone strikes. What was first? Caring about what other people wear.

Crop Tops. Don’t shoot the messenger. Or the police. Or me. Or yourself. Or Robert De Niro. Pretty much, just don’t

Not Using Headphones. Walking home the other day with

shoot anyone.

“ON THE OFFICIAL 2014 LIST OF “NO-NOS”, UGG BOOTS RANKED SECOND, AHEAD OF TAX EVASION, INCOME INEQUALITY AND DRONE STRIKES.”

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FROST BITE Louise Vs The World Louise Hutt

POLITICS: THE INTERNATIONAL EDITION Politics Ryan Wood

I’ve been having trouble writing my thesis lately. For one, there’s lots of reading to do, but the real problem is our flat. The warmest it gets in my room is 11 degrees. It’s actually warmer outside during the day, in the middle of Hamilton’s winter, than it is inside my flat. I’ve found it’s really hard to concentrate on reading when your toes are numb and you can see your own breath. I know, I know, I’m preaching to the choir. Everyone has cold, shitty flats. “Why don’t you just read outside then?” “Find somewhere warmer, duh” you yell at me. Well, the thing about being a film student is that taking your desktop outside is not really a viable option. It also takes away from the point that we shouldn’t have to live in houses with no insulation, or with windows that don’t shut properly (like in my room for example). “Well, you chose to rent that flat”.You’ve got two options in Hamilton; shitty, cold but cheaper flats or new but far-more-expensive flats. It’s exciting to see new flats going up, and new housing laws mean that they have to be insulated but that doesn’t mean they don’t cut corners elsewhere. In the last flat I rented, there were all sorts of dodgy and bizarre

Due to popular demand, this week’s edition of political musings will be on the Israel-Palestine business. At the time of writing, the conflict in that awful part of the world has left around a thousand people dead, mostly Palestinians. Children are among the casualties, and this, along with Israel’s overwhelming dominance in the conflict, has led to people all over the world protesting in favour of Palestine. Even in New Zealand protesters have taken to the streets as a sign of solidarity with the people of Gaza, drawing swastikas on Israeli flags or ripping said flags to pieces. The current language that seems to be in vogue regarding Israel is ‘Apartheid’. Apparently, Israel’s actions in Palestine are comparable to those of the white minority regime in Apartheid South Africa. The comparison is fairly accurate, and it is no surprise that many of the same people who were opposed to apartheid are opposed to Israel. The fact that for years Israel maintained strong relations with apartheid South Africa makes the comparison even more multifaceted.

“...NEW HOUSING LAWS MEAN THAT THEY HAVE TO BE INSULATED BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY DON’T CUT CORNERS ELSEWHERE.”

Like the Afrikaners, the Israelis are faced with losing their homeland. Yes, their military response has been severe, but it is always exactly that: a response. Hamas – the power in Gaza – have been relentless in their rocket attacks against Israel. But then, these rocket attacks can be considered responses to the siege of Gaza by the Israelis, which in turn is a response to something else, and so on, leading all the way back to 1948 and beyond.

things like lights which flickered (even when turned off) and a deadbolt on the outside of the bathroom (you know, in case someone wants to steal your toilet). I couldn’t afford to pay rent for a new flat (and it was barely warmer than my current one) so I’m stuck in the ‘old flat’ market. “But what about heating Louise!” Yeah I know. I’ve got an oil heater which racked up a $160 power bill last month, just for heating my room up to a point where I could feel my fingers. “Well clothes Louise! Just wear more clothes!” The great thing about putting on warm socks or gloves is that they keep heat in, but if you’re not warm to begin with, then they don’t really make much of a difference. It’s science, bitches. Maybe it’s all worthwhile though, maybe I’m just living through the starving artist trope. My next film is going to be about Antarctica, so perhaps it isn’t all for nothing.

Ultimately, Israel’s position is untenable, both politically and physically. Some form of international pressure will likely to come to bear down on them, either from the West, or from the new Caliphate that will undoubtedly emerge in the Middle East in the next few years. Certainly, in the second example, Israel will be utterly destroyed, and its people dispersed – again. They really will be like the Afrikaners then; refugees, fleeing their homeland because it is no longer safe for them to be there. Incidentally, roughly the same numbers of people killed in Palestine have been murdered in South Africa, in the same three-week period. Even more have been raped. Nobody seems to care about those statistics, though. Nobody marches in the streets for the victims of post-Apartheid South Africa. The important thing is that South Africa is Apartheid-free, just as the important thing is to get Palestine Israeli-free. And just like South Africa, once the Palestinians are free the world will not bat an eyelid when they inflict atrocities of their own upon the Israelis, as all oppressed peoples inevitably do. I quite enjoy biltong. What dish will the Israelis bring with them to these shores, I wonder?

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SNAPPED

nexus magazine

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.

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Blind Dat�

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

XX

XY

THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE

THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE

Well… At least I can now say I have been on a blind

I rocked up the date early to get on the piss before she

date. After reading last week’s column, I was worried

arrived. When she rocked up she went straight to the

about what the night would bring. I may be an out there

bar which obviously means she wanted to get drunk

girl, but I’m not one to throw blowjobs out Willie nil-

too. When she sat down I did some psychoanalysis on

lie. I was very nervous heading into The Bank as I had

her and seemed to get it all right. She seemed kinda

previously dated a bartender there. Thank God he wasn’t

cool- definitely not the kind of girl I usually pick up or

there is all I can say. My date was far better looking

expected to see at something like this. She seems way

though. The convo was standard to start off with, but

too conservative for a blind date. I dropped her home

then it started flowing and I realised this guy was a bit

and she gave me a pash goodbye. I went home after and

of a compulsive liar. He was out for a good laugh of

contemplated deleting tinder or not. Cheers The Edge

course, which I did find amusing. Soo… he has 3 year

and The Bank for the amazing food and drink.

old, can only see black and white vision, thought his blind date may have actually been blind and tried to do some psychology tricks on me which failed miserably (to his surprise). Ya the guy picked up that I was gullible pretty fast which made for some good entertainment. I should probably add that mid-way through the date I had the embarrassment of forgetting his name, yeah that was awkward! The bar tab closed up quickly to our surprise, so we headed out for a nice walk along the river and then he dropped me off home right to the doorstep like a true gentleman.

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SGM REFLECTIONS WAIKATO STUDENTS' UNION PRESIDENT AARON LETCHER

— Who ever thought that the WSU would ever be able to get over

did do my best to keep order, but didn’t want to remove anyone from

250 students in a room for an hour long meeting on constitutional

the room. I did value what everyone had to say, and was open to hear-

changes? I’ve been with this organization for almost three years, and

ing all views, provided they were communicated in the proper way.

I can honestly tell you that I never thought we could. I hoped we

Unfortunately a small minority of students chose to ignore proper

would, but I certainly wouldn’t have put any money on it. I cannot

process and disrupted what could have been a very pleasant meeting

thank those who took an hour out of their day to come join us enough.

with positive outcomes for everyone. I understand things got quite hostile towards the end of the meeting, and I’m extremely sorry to

“FROM MY PERSPECTIVE THE OUTCOME OF THE MEETING WAS EXTREMELY POSITIVE.”

those who were intimidated or made to feel uncomfortable by this. From my perspective the outcome of the meeting was extremely positive. We managed to give our constitution a much needed refresher, removing clauses that had lost relevance due to our new voluntary environment, clarifying points that had been vague and open to interpretation, and letting the students decide what Maori representation should look like. The results of the ballot are in, and

Without your attendance yesterday’s meeting wouldn’t have been

are as follows:

possible, mostly because we needed a quorum of 250 members. So

Invalid Voting Paper – 2.4%

with that said, whether you came to discuss the issues, for free beer

Status Quo – 19.6%

and pizza, or simply to hurl abuse at me like a petulant child – thank

Ex-officio Position – 20.4%

you nonetheles for your contribution to the meeting. It was a success. To the students who were disappointed that they could not hear all

Maori Electoral Roll – 20.8% Candidate Criteria – 36.8%

of the questions being asked, or the answers I was giving, I apologize. 250 students are an unruly mob at best, and with people rudely choosing to speak out of turn things got out of hand quite quickly. I

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This vote will be ratified at the WSU AGM on Wednesday September 24th, along with the minutes of the SGM.

nexus magazine

EVERY VOICE CAN BE HEARD AND THOSE WHO VOTE ENSURE THAT THEIR VOICES ARE HEARD MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC

— It’s about that time of election year when we are inundated with toothy-grinned posters, policyhighlighting billboards, smarmy radio ads, and ultimately presented with a crapload of political party choices we don’t know anything about. While I’ve pointed out a downside to elections, there is more we could be doing to further educate

SERIOUS UNI SHIT

ourselves on our political options and also finding out why it’s so important for us to have our say.

AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN

Most universities allow voting booths on campus

—

to make the idea of voting more convenient for the lazy student in all of us. However, (at the time of writing,) Waikato Uni have just rescinded the oppor-

Every week our column presents to you some serious shit that us student support

tunity to have mobile voting booths on campus this

advocates are able to help you with. The fast facts this week are all about your

year, which personally I see as counter-productive and

university, The University of Waikato. Below are some helpful, yet unknown facts

undemocratic.

that may occur during your studying life here at university. Can you pick out this

In 1974 students and young people took a huge

week’s incorrect fact?

interest in politics due to Vietnam War protests, and because of their determination to be heard, the voting

•

age in NZ was lowered to 18.

The university has several offices dedicated to helping students with assignments, referencing, time management, CV and cover letter writing, support

It was because of us that the age was lowered; it

note taking and emotional support. These services are all included in your

was because the young people of this country wanted

fees. USE THEM!

to be heard, and we knew that there was power in numbers.

•

Little did you know the university actually offers a Bachelor of Pole Dancing,

In 2011, of the 3 million or so people enrolled to vote,

with majors in the movements Split Grip Chinese Rubber Aysha and the

only 74% of those actually got out and voted on elec-

Extended Brass Monkey. WSU President Aaron Letcher graduated with first

tion weekend, which was NZ’s lowest voter turnout

class honours this year. Well done Letcher.

since 1887. That means that about 2,278,989 votes were cast

•

altogether, of which the current government received

Unpaid fines through late enrolment and late library returns turn into sanctioned accounts. This means that if you don’t pay your university fees you’ll

1,058,636.

eventually won’t be able to access MyWeb, Moodle, and your email address. If this happens to you, come see us!

I know it seems like a bunch of numbers that are hard to get your head around, so in a nutshell: of the people who actively participated in voting during the

•

There are over forty cultural and recreational clubs on campus waiting for good

last elections, about half of them thought the govern-

looking individuals just like you to join them. Meet some other good looking

ment was doing a good job...

individuals and join one. Proudly another freaking awesome service brought

Whatever way you lean, it’s your year to stand up and

to you by the Waikato Students’ Union (WSU).

have a say – instead of whinging on Facebook when it doesn’t go your way.

Want to know more about any of the facts written in this column? Chuck us a message on 027 2065 011 or advocacy@wsu.org.nz

Contact: 0800 AT YWRC, ywrc@xtra.co.nz.

Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz.

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NOTICES

Do Your Thing WWW.DOYOURTHING.CO.NZ

This course is for 18-26 year olds and is a 21 day adventure. The scholarship awardees may attend a course at a time convenient to themselves and Outward Bound from November 2014 through to June 2015. Course details, dates and fundraising ideas

This year, AMP has a prize pool of $200,000 and

available at www.outwardbound.co.nz

this is the largest scholarship fund of its kind in

Applications must be with Barry Butcher no

New Zealand.

later than Friday 8th August 2014.

Applications open from 21 July and close on 16

For more info contact Barry Butcher 855-2786

September 2014 and almost anyone is eligible, as

or barry.butcher.7@xtra.co.nz

there’s no age limit restrictions. Find out more at www.doyourthing.co.nz.

Pavement Poetry

Time Management Seminar FRIDAY 8TH AUGUST

WEDNESDAY 6TH AUGUST

1pm - 2pm on the paved path between banks/ village green and the lake/foodcourt. Will be postponed if raining. Cookies for participants and prizes to be won.

Outward Bound

Get set up for the semester at our free time management seminar. 12pm - 1pm, Level Zero, light refreshments provided.

Study Tips THURSDAY 18TH AUGUST

WWW.OUTWARDBOUND.CO.NZ Organise your shit before assignments start rolling in. The J R McKenzie Youth Trust and Outward

12pm - 1pm, Level Zero, light refreshments

Bound are providing partial scholarships to

provided.

attend an Outward Bound Classic Course.

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Send any notices to editor@nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

TOMATØ SOUP Cooking for Students Zac Lyon

Again, I have a wee bone to pick with some students. Went food shopping yesterday at the mighty Pak’n’Save and indulged in my really bad habit of checking out other people’s trolleys. It’s pretty sad to see what some people constitute as shopping for the week- one group of students had 15 litres of soft drink, coupled with 3 packs of chicken nuggies. Now it’s obviously up to you what you buy, hell I dabble in a few nuggies from time to time, but people need to wake up. For the same amount of money, throw in some veges, some fresh meat and COOK something. Our average food bill for a flat of four is around $150, including breakfast, lunch and dinner. So don’t give me ‘it’s too expensive to cook healthy’, just prioritise what you buy. Ingredients 1 medium onion diced = $0.20 3 cloves of garlic diced = $0.50 1 large carrot – chopped = $0.50 1-2 sticks of celery – chopped = $0.50 4x 400 g can of tinned tomatoes = $4 500ml vege stock = $0.50 2 Tbs of tomato paste/sauce = $1.50 Bunch of fresh basil = Free if you nick some from your neighbour Salt and pepper = less than $0.10 Dash of balsamic vinegar = $0.50 Loaf of bread = $2.50 Total = $10.80 (max) for a feed for 4+ people Directions 01_  Throw onion, garlic, carrot and celery into a large saucepan

with some oil. Fry for 5 mins until fragrant and soft.

02_  Add in tinned tomatoes, paste and stock. Simmer for 15-20 mins. 03_  Taste – season with salt, pepper, basil and vinegar before serving. 04_ Done.

See how bloody simple it is to throw together a very quick and cheap meal that is pretty good for you? Join me next week when I actually buy some meat that isn’t processed to shit – should be a blast! Again, if you get stuck, head to Cooking4Students on Youtube.

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Codewords

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.

KenKen

Sequence

The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the

Determine which of the fig-

upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target num-

ures match the pieces?

ber” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)

A

B

Syllabic

1. Person who overlooks workers: 2. Not moving:

From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.

3. Having supreme rank: 4. Harshness:

ar - but - e - eign - er - fy - hal - hid - i - i - im

C

5. Wooden framework erected on post:

- in - lo - mu - ni - no - ous - per - pil - ry - se - sor - sov - sta - su - ter - ti - tion - ty - ty val - ver - vi - y

6. To inform: 7. Period of time: 8. Exemption from criminal prosecution: 9. Horrible: D

10. Flat fish: Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,

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HARD

MEDUIM

column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.

EASY

Sudoku

nexus magazine

Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.

9 letter words uprooting 8 letter words trooping trouping 7 letter words porting portion pouting rooting routing touring 6 letter words opting option outing pignut potion pronto proton roting toping trigon trogon truing turnip unroot uproot 5 letter words grout grunt ingot input nitro outgo pinto piton point print tigon troop 4 letter words girt gout grit grot into onto pint port pout punt riot root rout runt ting tiro tong topi tori torn tour trig trio trip trug turn unit unto

Crossword

Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.

Across

36. Corresponded (7)

68. Cane syrup (7)

15. Set up (7)

50. Nominee (9)

1. Brotherly (9)

39. Enlightened (8)

70. Spooky (5)

17. Custom (9)

52. Fatuous (7)

5. Savage (9)

40. Perform (3)

71. Abode (9)

21. Clear up (7)

53. Small crown (7)

9. Larceny (5)

41. Endearing (8)

72. Endured (9)

23. Fissure (7)

54. Summary (8)

11. Vegetable (7)

45. Pass through (7)

26. Differ (8)

57. Try (7)

14. Haggle (7)

47. Multiplied (12)

Down

27. Floorshow (7)

58. Debar (7)

16. Peremptory demand (9)

48. Amphibian (4)

1. Sect (7)

28. Disdain (8)

59. Consume with relish (6)

18. And so forth (8)

50. Formulate (8)

2. Stroll (5)

30. Rises (6)

61. Recess (5)

19. Fold (6)

51. Assailed (8)

3. Horse-drawn carriage (3)

31. Promontory (8)

64. Vessel (5)

20. Beaming (7)

53. Transported (7)

4. Freedom (7)

34. Dormant (8)

65. Impulse (4)

22. Essential (9)

55. Sickness (6)

5. Garrison (4)

35. Desert plants (5)

69. Fish eggs (3)

24. Indulgence (8)

56. Explosive (8)

6. Recuperating (12)

37. Injured (7)

25. Contusion (6)

57. Anteaters (9)

7. Luxury (8)

38. Treasurer (6)

27. Cigar (7)

60. Infuriate (7)

8. Irony (6)

42. Before now (7)

28. Monetary system (8)

62. Beginning (6)

9. Shy (5)

43. Negated (12)

29. Laps (8)

63. Venomous fish (8)

10. Siren (9)

44. Harassed (7)

32. Lure (4)

66. Intrepid (9)

12. Forbear (8)

46. Declared (9)

33. Implication (12)

67. Proposition (7)

13. Draw out (7)

49. Cut across (8)

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First Friday of every month 8 August - 5 September - 3 October -

assignment support workshop 11-1pm - ground floor, SUB building

Every month the Waikato Students’ Union will be holding a workshop to help with assignment prep and how to write for University. We will also be helping with time management, essay writing, note taking and getting ready for an exam.

So just drop-in or make an appointment with advocacy@wsu.org.nz