N.15 / V.46
nexus magazine
EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
CONTENTS
DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY MANAGING EDITOR
—
JAMES RAFFAN
_03
Editorial
_04
Lettuce to the Editor
_05
News
_08
News from the University
_09
Sport
_10
Ridiculist & Vox Pops
_11
Reviews
_14
Honest Matt
_15
Horoscopes & Playlist
_16
Auteur
_17
Arts and Stuff
AARON LETCHER
_18
Travel
COVER ART
_19
Not a Fan
_22
The Truth about Sarah
_24
Sinners Vs Saints
CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP JULES CRAFT MATT HICKS BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD THE PIE MEN KARL GUETHERT ALEX BARLOW LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAUREN BARNARD LAURENCE MCLEAN GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY SARA LEMME HAEMIA FOOTE OLIVER DUNN CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER
ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS PHOTOGRAPHY PHILLIP WONG ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
_27 Columns OFFICES GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING
_39
Advice
GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON ONLINE NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
_40 Notices _41 Recipe
FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE
2
nexusmag.co.nz
_42 Puzzles
nexus magazine
EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT
— didn’t watch any of the World Cup. I don’t like leaping on bandwag-
This year I joined team naked. I was the only girl, and I was a bit wor-
ons, and the Hollywood clutching of the knees really annoys me.
ried that I was going to have flashbacks of my primary school sports
For me, the most interesting part of the world cup was watching
days where the guys on the team would never let the girls have the
all the exchange students in Oranga screaming at the screen. Soccer
ball. But everyone is equal in naked flaming footie- I managed to get
I
is so boring that the players have to pretend to be hurt. The internet
plenty of kicks in (between pissing myself laughing and ducking to
told me that the goalie of the Nigerian team was so bored, he had
try and save my hair.)
a little rest. However I did compete in an annual football tournament this year, which is something I never thought I’d say. I can hear you all now “if soccer is so boring, why would you play it?” Two reasons- 1) playing a sport is way more interesting than watching a sport and 2) this was no ordinary football match. Every year a group of mad buggers gets together to drink copious amounts and play soccer. This isn’t ordinary soccer though- this is Naked Flaming Footie. Take one stainless steel ball with holes drilled in it, pack it full of rags and soak it in kerosene. Then, once everyone’s hammered enough, bowl down to your local park, strip naked and set it alight. The only thing funnier than watching a bunch of naked guys flopping around a footy field is hearing their yelps as their pubes singe. Of course, if you’re shy you could play on team clothed- but everyone knows that team clothed is boring and they always lose.
The ball lasted long enough to have a decent game, but flamed out before the cops arrived. Of course, Team Naked won- because you’re always winning when you’re naked. I got to thinking about other sports that would be way more awesome with nudity and fire. Here are my top five: Beach Volleyball- who wouldn’t turn up to see naked flaming volleyball? Cricket- because something has to be done. If I’m going to stand in a field for three days hoping the ball will come my way, it better be on fire. Golf- if you’re going to ruin a cross country course, at least have the decency to be naked and hitting flaming balls. Archery- flaming arrows, wiggly jiggly bits- nuff said. Bowls- all the little old men with their wrinkly bums bowling flames across the green. Flame on mother fuckers.
3
LETTUCE
nexus magazine
Fuck tha Police N.W.A
only one. What the actual fuck is up with past students immediately becoming lecturers? I don’t know about you guys but I don’t pay over $1000 to study a paper that is being taught by someone with no experience in the subject. Oh you got an A+ in the paper? Well you should just become a lecturer! NO WAIKATO. No
In response to "Drunk Guy in the Van", I think this is what
wonder our university is ridiculed by our older counter-
you were looking for...
parts. It’s hard to learn any industry relevant detail from
Dear Pig who pulled over the Re-O Week van, Fuck tha police Comin straight from the underground Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown And not the other colour so police think They have the authority to kill a minority
a paper when the person teaching it literally graduated the same degree the year before. To be able to get the most out of our degrees we need to have access to the relevant knowledge and connections. In this day and age a textbook driven course confined to the four walls of the lecture theater is not cutting it.
Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't tha one
WTF?!
For a punk muthafucka with a badge and a fun To be beatin on, and throwin in jail We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell
COMMITTED CROSSWORDER
Yours faithfully, N.W.A
Is anyone else sick of walking through Gate 1 at night
New Path Needed BENITO MUSSOLINI
during the winter months and having to put up with poor lighting, puddles, mud and potholes? If you don’t know where the holes are you’re going to end up stepping in one, and it’s probably filled with water so you’ll get wet shoes on top of that. And if you do know where the holes are you’re going to be walking in a zig-zag the entire way out of the uni. I love heritage as much as the next person but footpaths aren’t supposed to last 50
Is anyone else sick of walking through Gate 1 at night
years. Make a new one already and put some decent
during the winter months and having to put up with poor
lights in. Thanks.
lighting, puddles, mud and potholes? If you don’t know where the holes are you’re going to end up stepping in one, and it’s probably filled with water so you’ll get wet shoes on top of that. And if you do know where
Hey Fucktards!
the holes are you’re going to be walking in a zig-zag the entire way out of the uni. I love heritage as much as the
TRYING TO LEARN ABOUT MARKETING OVER HERE GUYS
next person but footpaths aren’t supposed to last 50 years. Make a new one already and put some decent
DISCLAIMER:
lights in. Thanks.
Dear Nexus,
Letters published contain the opinion of
You know what I did last night? I went to a movie and
the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent pub-
Past Student Lecturers
lic scrutiny. Letters are the authors own
ANONYMOUS
work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. to publish any letter which breaches any
Dearest Nexus
law, is defamatory to any person, or con-
Now I could be off point with this rant, but I am getting
tains threats of violence or hate speech.
pretty annoyed with this so I feel like I might not be the
nexusmag.co.nz
who had paid $15 to watch it. Oh wait, no I didn’t because that is rude, disrespectful and displays a level of immaturity rarely seen by those people who aren’t knuckle dragging neanderthals. You can imagine how annoying it is when the same analogy is applied to something I paid $600 for and some people in my lecture feel it’s appropriate to talk from the first minute
Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse
4
talked the entire way through it, distracting everyone
to its conclusion. Seriously? If you are going to talk the entire way through, just don’t go, fucktards. Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
NEWS ROCK BAND DEVILSKIN RISE TO THE TOP PRESS RELEASE
— Hamilton rock band Devilskin’s much anticipated debut album went straight to the top of the charts, selling record numbers in the first week. The Official NZ Music Charts celebrated Devilskin as the first brand new local set to make #1 in 2014. Devilskin sat ahead of international superstars Ed Sheeran (2), Sam Smith (5) and Disney’s Frozen Soundtrack (3). An amazing feat for this local band and a real coup for an inde-
BOATS AND WOES SARA LEMME
pendently released and distributed album. In a statement release by the band they said "(we) would like to extend their sincere gratitude to our amazing friends and supporters who have shown Devilskin so much love. To
—
have a No.1 album!!!! and to be selling out our shows on this tour is not only the most amazing and incredible experi-
This October it will have been 3 years since the Rena
was necessary. The report concluded that the wreck-
ence we could imagine, it is also an awesome honour and privilege. Thank you and see you at the shows."
incident, the worst environmental disaster in New
age ought to be removed as the environmental and
Zealand maritime history. Debate continues on what
cultural impact on the local communities would be
to do with the wreckage that has become a fixture on
significant, especially for the isolated island com-
the Tauranga coastline.
munity of Motiti.
To support the album release the band are currently touring the country on a 19 date We Rise NZ Tour. James Southgate from Music Management comments "it is an honour and privilege to work with and represent
The government has come under scrutiny follow-
The MV Rena ran aground the Astrolabe Reef
ing its decision to conduct negotiations between
(Otaiti), off the coast of Tauranga, on October 8 th
Devilskin. They have created such a frenzy for ticket sales
the Crown, the Rena owners and the ship’s insur-
2011. 350 tonnes of fuel oil was spilt and many of the
on their 19 date We Rise NZ Tour that the first 4 gigs have
ers- leaving the local Iwi out of the loop in what the
ships numerous containers washed up along the Bay
SOLD OUT and subsequent dates are doing the same. They
Waitangi tribunal has deemed a breach of the prin-
of Plenty coastline. The estimated cost of the cleanup
deserve huge credit for the enormous effort they have put
ciples of the Treaty.
was $47 million.
in over many years. It’s great to see them connect so enthu-
In an interim report released last week the Waitangi
Maritime New Zealand defined the wreck as a
Tribunal stated that the crown has breached the
hazardous ship through notices issued under the
We Rise is the fastest selling album of the year at many
“Treaty principles of good faith and partnership
Maritime Transport Act 1994 which meant the com-
music stores across the country including JBHIFI in the
siastically with their fans - they are truly living the dream."
when it reached settlements with the Rena owners
plete removal of the shipwreck was required unless
band’s home town, Hamilton. There are reports of queues
without appropriate consultation with Bay of Plenty
other legal methods for addressing the issue of the
out the store door, with eager fans waiting up to 1 ½ hours
Iwi; also failing to recognize the reef as taonga as
wreck were found. The Crown began negotiating
to meet and greet the band on release day. Karl Lock from
it’s the Crown’s duty to protect Maori use of their
with the owners and insurers of the Rena and the
JBHIFI says "it’s our fastest selling album of the year and
land and especially their taonga. Under the Resource
result of these dealings were three deeds of settle-
I couldn’t be happier that not only is it a local band, but a
Management Act, all public bodies must take into
ment, signed in October 2012.
local metal band!"
account the Treaty principles when making deci-
Included in the settlement was a $27.6 million dol-
Devilskin are a four piece band from Hamilton New
sions,” This report supports two claims made last year
lar sum to be paid by the Daina Shipping Company,
Zealand formed in June 2010. They have quickly gained a
which argued that this was not done.
which would leave $20 million of the total cleanup
reputation for delivering high-energy performances with
The two claims were lodged with the Waitangi
cost covered by the New Zealand taxpayer. The ship-
blistering sets which are sonically exciting and compelling,
Tribunal in May 2013, relating to the Crown’s failure
ping company applied for resource consent to allow
resulting in mesmerizing rock events.
to follow appropriate consultation processes. One
the remains of the shipwreck to stay on the reef to
claim was made by Ngai Te Hapu, and the other
legally avoid having to remove the complete wreck-
Vocals. Jennie's incredible voice sweeps from whisper to roar, rips with power, drips with melody and captivates with
The band features the captivating Jennie Skulander on
by the Motiti Rohe Moana Trust and the Mataatua
age as was required by the Maritime NZ notices.
District Maori Council. These were applications
Daina would pay an extra $10.4 million when this
sincerity. Bassist Paul Martin and Nail on lead guitar are the
made by those Maori communities affected by the
consent was granted, which it was in early June by
red bearded ‘evil twins’ and they electrify with powerful,
Rena disaster, both culturally and environmentally,
the Regional Council.
truculent bass coupled with searing guitar riffs. Nic Martin’s
who also aided in the cleanup efforts. The claims both indicated that the removal of the wreckage
The Tribunal is still due to release its final report on the matter at the time of printing.
spectacular drumming and driving beat lays the foundation for a gig not to be forgotten.
5
nexus magazine
PUTIN: REBELS AT FAULT FOR UKRAINE DISASTER GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY
— Russian President Vladimir Putin has warned the International community against coming to any hasty conclusions regarding the shooting down of MH17. This follows increased media speculation that the Russian military armed radical Ukrainian separatists. 'No-one has the right to use this tragedy for any kind of vested interest in the political sense. Such incidents should unite people rather than separate them.' Putin said. He added later that the incident was something that all Ukranians “should feel responsible for” not just militant separatists.
DEATH FROM ABOVE
This sentiment was reaffirmed by a Ukrainian official who said "We have compelling evidence that this terrorist act was
CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER
— As of the 17 of July, Israeli troops have been conducting an openth
ended ground invasion of the Gaza Strip, beginning with the destruction of parts of the illicit tunnel network which services Gaza.
“HE ADDED LATER THAT THE INCIDENT WAS SOMETHING THAT ALL UKRANIANS “SHOULD FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR” NOT JUST MILITANT SEPARATISTS.”
In the past week Israel has sustained its first fatalities with 30 reported dead including two civilians since their offensive began on the 8th of July. Palestinian fatalities have surpassed 600 deaths, at least 70% of which the U.N. estimates to be civilian. The decision to execute a ground invasion is the latest stage
Dutch experts have now been allowed to examine the crash site some two weeks after the incident and are expected to
of “Operation Protective Edge” and comes after a failed ceasefire
make public their findings in the next month. The final death
proposal from traditional mediator Egypt. It is being reported that
toll from the incident stands at 298 people including three
Hamas and Islamic Jihad rejected the proposed cease fire as they felt
infants.
they had not been consulted by the Egyptians. Hamas propose an
The underlying civil conflict continues with no respite in the
alternative truce, possibly backed by Qatar and Turkey, which would
regional capital of Donetsk as the army attempts to seize back
be conditional on lifting the blockade of Gaza in place since 2007,
control of the country.
freeing some Palestinian prisoners and allowing previously banned commercial activity. The escalation of the conflict has sparked protests and demonstrations around the world, including hundreds of New Zealanders who attended a Rally for Palestine in Aotea Square.
“PALESTINIAN FATALITIES HAVE SURPASSED 600 DEATHS, AT LEAST 70% OF WHICH THE U.N. ESTIMATES TO BE CIVILIAN.”
6
committed with the help of the Russian Federation.”
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
MMMMM METHY BACON (AND ICE-CREAM) SHORT NEWS
— Police believe the recent theft of 25 kilograms of sodium iodide from Pokeno’s Pacific Biofert will be used to manufacture the drug Crystal Meth. Police sources suggested that while the manufacturing operation is likely based in Pokeno the meth will be sold in Auckland. We think the police may have this one wrong because we have visited Pokeno before. It is literally a four shop town famous for bacon and
THE REPAYMENT THRESHOLD AND REPAYMENT RATES SARA LEMME & GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY
—
ice-creams, if there was a way we could buy 25kgs of meth to get over the boredom we would have bought a house.
The stuff you’d rather just ignore because you think it only matters once you graduate. Jokes on you. Currently: The current repayment threshold is at $19,084 per year and the rate of repayment is at
SPOILER ALERT PROBABLY A VIRGIN SHORT NEWS
—
12%. So when you earn over that amount ($367 per week before tax and that's including your allowance) you are obligated to start paying your loan back at the required rate, regardless of whether or not you are still in study. Your repayment requirements are also calculated week by week unless you apply for a ‘repayment deduction exemption’ via the IRD website. So earning extra during a break period, without an exemption, will generally mean you’ll have loan repayments deducted regardless of whether it's just a one-off increase or summer job. You also can only ask for a refund of overpayments if they’re
Lee Weir, 27, completed his life’s mission when he broke the world record for tattoos of Homer Simpson last week. Mr Weir had to give up beer for a year to afford the record setting 41 tattoos but said it was worth it. In an inspired piece of journalism he also answered yes when the reporter asked if “Homer was his favourite character?” So there you have it ladies, form an orderly queue because there is a 27 year old, world record holder, keen on getting a beer belly and meeting some new people.
considered to reach the ‘significant over-deduction threshold’ of $50 per pay period. The brief history and the promised future: National - The National government increased the repayment rate from 10% to 12% in 2012. The repayment threshold has been the same since 2009. National released its budget this year in which the threshold freeze is set to continue until at least 2017 if they remain in power. Labour – Under the previous Labour government the threshold was adjusted with inflation which reflected changes in living costs. Labour has condemned the continued freeze of the threshold on repayments and though they have not released an official policy, appear to support inflation adjustments.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE SHORT NEWS
NZ First – support a dollar-for-dollar debt write-off scheme for graduates working in New Zealand in “identified areas of workforce demand.” Who said they only love the old people? Greens – Raise the repayment threshold but also introduce high income bands that will have higher rates of repayment. Introduce a student debt write-off scheme where one year’s work in NZ
—
= one year of debt written-off.
Usually in short news we like to take a news story and add a few
of a massive 5 year grace period for repayments after graduation.
Maori Party – Repayments to begin once a person earns 1.5 times the average wage. Introduction
funny one liners. This time we just want to keep it simple. Last week
Internet Mana – Again nothing defined on either site, but both have a ‘free education’ policy in
some drunk idiot in Paeroa burnt down a kindergarten. Actually some
general. A moratorium on student debt is what is expected when a policy is released by Mana along
drunk idiot burnt down THE kindergarten. Now, random fires can
with the repayment threshold to be raised to reflect the UK model (it’s roughly 3x higher than ours).
be fun. The unexpected couch fire, the BBQ fire that claims a tree and the random one on the beach to name a few. Burning down a kindergarten just makes you a cunt.
The Conservatives - were emailed to explain their position but had not responded at the time of print. Act – Not defined on site, probably along the lines of “make them suffer!”
7
nexus magazine
NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY
NEW INTERNSHIP PAPER FOR LAW STUDENTS — Law students have the chance to work on real cases as part of a new law internship programme – the first of its kind
WINTER LECTURE SERIES NEXT MONTH —
in New Zealand – established between the University’s Te Piringa – Faculty of Law and the Police Prosecution Service (PPS). Third- and fourth-year law students, who have completed the third year Crimes paper, are eligible to undertake the internship programme which runs during the summer school period (November to February). Places are limited
The future of business, the future of Hamilton, online security and entertainment will feature in a series of free
and by invitation only. For more information contact Senior
public lectures in August. The University’s annual Winter Lecture Series will have a forward-looking theme as
Lecturer Wayne Rumbles at wayner@waikato.ac.nz
the University celebrates its 50th anniversary. Lectures run each Wednesday evening in August from 6-7pm at the Academy, with the Opus Bar open from 5pm. www.waikato.ac.nz/go/wls
3MT COMPETITION —
WEDNESDAY DROP-IN SESSIONS
The Three Minute Thesis (3MT) is an academic competition for doctoral students. The final is held during Postgraduate Month in October. Candidates have just three minutes to present their thesis and its significance to a lay audience. Applications open on 1st August and heats are held in September. www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/3mt
8
nexusmag.co.nz
— Need help preparing a CV, cover letter or have a general
BLUES AWARDS CLOSING —
careers question? Career Development Services has 10-minute drop-in sessions every Wednesday from 10am-
Nominations for the 2014 Wallace Corporation University of
12noon for students who want advice. Just visit the Student
Waikato Blues Awards close this Friday, 1st August. Blues are
Administration Desk on Level 2 of the Student Centre. Bring
awarded to students who demonstrate excellence in either
along your CV and one of our Career Development Advisers
sport or the creative or performing arts. Self-nominations
will review it - no appointment required.
are also welcome. www.waikato.ac.nz/events/blues
nexus magazine
NBA OFF SEASON MOVES PART THREE SPORTS GUY
— Lance Stephenson has accepted an offer from the Hornets and will suit up for Charlotte this season, playing under the watchful eye of Hornets owner, Michael Jordan. — The LA Lakers are digging themselves a giant hole after releasing Kendall Marshall to clear as much cap room as possible. Apparently, Marshall was released in the hope that LA could re-sign him once he cleared waivers. However, the Milwaukee Bucks will be claiming him “as soon as possible”. This leaves the Lakers with only 1 reliable player at the PG position (Steve Nash has been injury prone lately) in Jeremy Lin, who they recently acquired from the Houston Rockets. —
WHY THE NBA COULD LEARN FROM THE MLB ALL STAR GAME
Luol Deng has agreed to join the Miami Heat. He will be playing the starting SF role. Dwyane Wade has also resigned
SPORTS GUY - OPINION
with the Heat. Their starting line-up will be: Chalmers, Wade,
—
Deng, McRoberts, Bosh. — Chandler Parsons to Dallas has been confirmed. Dallas have been doing work this offseason. They’ve also acquired Rashard Lewis, Tyson Chandler, Raymond Felton, Richard Jefferson, and resigned Jae Crowder, Devin Harris and their
From time to time when it gets to NBA All Star weekend you hear the commentators and even some NBA fans wanting to see a little defence. I know it’s just an exhibition game but I think the NBA should take a page out of the MLB playbook and put a stipulation on the All Star Game.
franchise player Dirk Nowitzki. —
For those of you who are unaware (which will probably
Swaggy P will be returning to the LA Lakers after signing a
be most of you because Baseball fans are a rare breed in
4 year deal. A good 6th man option, although do not expect
New Zealand) the MLB All Star Game pits the best of the
assists from him. Swaggy P only knows one way and that
American League against the best from the National League
is shoot whenever you can. —
and the winner gets home advantage for the World Series. While the post season isn’t until October, this gives the
Mike Miller will be reuniting with LeBron James, after
teams a reason to win. Although some of the players in the
agreeing to a 1 year deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers.
All Star game won’t feature in the World Series, it is nice to
—
know if you do make it that far, you’ll be playing in front of
Pau Gasol is going to be playing with the Chicago Bulls.
your fans more often than not.
— Carmelo Anthony is staying put in New York.
I’d love to see the NBA implement something similar to this. The way it is in the NBA, the team with the best record gets home court advantage in the NBA Finals. If the team with the best record is eliminated in one of the early playoff rounds, home court advantage could go to the winner of the other conference. So if the All Star Game had a home court advantage stipulation not only would we see a better game of basketball, but records wouldn’t matter when it came to who gets home court. As home court can be huge in a finals series, the players will want to win this.
9
nexus magazine
RIDICULIST
VOX POPS
Things I'd rather do than watch sports.
Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.
1 Have sex. It burns calories, it’s an anti-depressant... it's sex! Anyone who wants to watch sport over having sex can GTFO.
2
Keely, BCS. Are you going to apply to be a student director? No, I don't know what that is. If you could be naturally gifted at any sport what would it be? Soccer or water polo for something new. Why do/don't you play sport? For fun times, fitness and the friends you make.
Emma, BCS.
Watch GoT.
Are you going to apply to be a student director? No, this is my last year of
At least when people fall over on this show, you know
study and I didn't know about it. If you could be naturally gifted at any sport
they aren't hollywood-ing.
what would it be? Rowing because it's my favourite sport. Why do/don't you play sport? I play netball because it's fun, I get fit and for the social
3
aspect of getting to know people.
Bake things. Baking makes your house smell good and you get to eat delicious things. If your butter happens to be green, even better!
Ahmed, LLB. Are you going to apply to be a student director? No. If you could be naturally gifted at any sport what would it be? Soccer because there's lots of money and l love it. Why do/don't you play sport? It's healthy and fun.
4 Watch fail compilations on youtube. Watching sport makes you feel unfit and ugly, watching fail compilations makes you feel smart and coordinated.
5
Phillip, LLB. Are you going to apply to be a student director? Yes. If you could be naturally gifted at any sport what would it be? I was naturally gifted at soccer, I was in the Fijian National team. Why do/don't you play sport? I'm retired now but because I was good at it.
Read a book. Play smarter, not harder. Tom, SOCY.
6 Paint your nails. Contrary to what you might think, this is one specifically for the guys. Break gender stereotypes and look
Are you going to apply to be a student director? No, no idea. If you could be naturally gifted at any sport what would it be? League, love the sport. Why do/don't you play sport? I play basketbal and soccer at the moment. I've always loved sport from a young age and I love the culture.
fabulous all at the same time!
7
Chris, BSc. Are you going to apply to be a student director? No, no plans to. No info.
Go drinking with your friends.
If you could be naturally gifted at any sport what would it be? Water polo
Instead of staring up at a huge screen shouting
because I'm into water based sports. Why do/don't you play sport? At the
unintelligible things, stare at each other and have a
moment I have no time for sport with my studies.
conversation.
8 Play sport. Get fit, have fun and meet awesome people. Just choose your sport wisely- some are more fun than others- yes I'm looking at you, Cricket.
10
nexusmag.co.nz
Sam, BMS. Are you going to apply to be a student director? Nope. If you could be naturally gifted at any sport what would it be? Skateboarding because I can't do it. Why do/don't you play sport? Because I like it and shit and to get dem gains.
nexus magazine
The Two Faces of January
Calvary FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON
FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON The debut feature from John Michael McDonagh was the wonderThe work of novelist Patricia Highsmith has been much adapted to the cinema. Alfred Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train is one of the master's best films and Highsmith's Tom Ripley has proven a versatile screen anti-hero for four decades. The Two Faces of January, a version of Highsmith's 1964 book of the same name, has the small basic elements as these earlier movies: con-artistry, sexual obsession and a misanthropic view of human relations. Viggo Mortensen and Kirsten Dunst play a New York couple on the run in Greece, he an embezzling stockbroker, she a willing accomplice. Their paths cross with new comer Oscar Isaac's ex-pat American tour guide, a man grieving after the death of his estranged father with demons of his own. All three performers look stunning in the beautiful Greek sun but the film somehow misses. Ironically, Mortensen's well preserved face counts against him in a part where he's meant to look a generation older than his co-stars and there's insufficient chemistry between Dunst and Isaac to sustain the idea of a love triangle. Writer-director Hossein Amini, a filmmaker with a background in both mainstream and art cinema, struggles to produce something that qualifies either as a commercial thriller or a compelling drama. The biggest problem with Highsmith is that her characters are inherently unsympathetic. No matter how clever the narrative or slick the set piece, if you are not invested in their fate, all is for nothing. Long before the climactic chase I'd ceased to care.
ful Gaelic variation on the buddy cop film, The Guard. With Calvary, McDonagh's follow-up, the writer-director delivers something even more original, a black comedy cum religious parable that defies easy description. Again Brendan Gleeson is the leading man, this time playing an Irish Catholic priest, James Lavelle. A man of true vocation, Father Lavelle has his fair share of human flaws but serves his small coastal community with integrity, respected by believers and humoured by those who lack faith. The film opens with Lavelle in the confessional box. An anonymous parishioner confronts him with a personal history of sexual abuse then declares that he will kill the priest seven days hence by way of retribution against the church. Lavelle has a week to take stock and get his life in order. What follows is more jocular than you might expect. McDonagh has a way with dialogue both sacred and profane. A multitude of colourful characters are introduced with wit and efficiency and the supporting cast is first rate. The tone and the jokes are very self-conscious any movie in which a rent boy quotes James Cagney's line from Angels With Dirty Faces is made by and for full film buffs - but this is postmodernism that entertains rather than just shows off. Calvary critiques Catholicism with a more honest eye than most melodramas can muster yet retains a sense of the redemptive power of forgiveness, building to a moving, near perfect climax.
11
nexus magazine
Animal Ambition
We are all Bigots
ALBUM REVIEW BY ALEX BARLOW
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
50 Cent’s been quiet for a minute. He’s been delaying and promising
Former Hamilton trio, Ghosts of Electricity, have headed as far as
albums for years. Last month he made good on his promises. 50 left
Auckland as a base for their fiery brand of rhythmic punk rock. Their
Shady Records earlier this year which means he’s now independent
third EP, We are all Bigots, showcases their uncompromising style
and can pretty much do whatever the fuck he wants when it comes
and unique lyrical take on punk. Their bio reveals the lyrics are lifted
to releasing music. He released a song every week for the last couple
from eavesdropped conversations in a Randy Newman style of nar-
of months so most the songs were already out when this album
ration, which certainly helps explain some of the content on songs
dropped.
like Post-Neo Feminism.
50 Cent described the album as being about prosperity and ambi-
The rhythms of this EP are stark right from the beginning. Drum
tion and those themes are covered but it’s clear this project originally
clicks in at double time and the trio launch into chunky guitar riffs
started out as a mixtape. It doesn’t quite feel as cohesive as an album
backed at speed. The volume may be up and the tone aggressive, but
should. He sounds a lot hungrier and more passionate than he has in
this is not inaccessible wall-of-noise rock that is incomprehensible
years but it also sounds like he’s holding back a bit, as if he’s saving
to some listeners. There is an instant groove here. There is a catchy,
his best for Street King Immortal, the album he’s dropping later this
head-nodding spark of rhythm that layers over the sheer speed of
year. I think a lot of the songs on Animal Ambition were meant for
the drums. It’s that which situates this punk rock somewhere in the
Street King but he decided to use these songs for the warm up album
vicinity of The Raw Nerves or The Dead Kennedys.
and make something truly great. It makes sense- he’s had most the
One of the pleasant surprises on this album is the lyrics in both
beats on this album for years. It’s worth checking out the Trey Songz
Spanish and French. Using the romantic languages adds something
assisted Smoke, Pilot and The Funeral, a bonus track which sums up
well… romantic, to the sound and softens some of those blunt edges.
the duality of his career on the hook, “50 bars of pleasure, 50 bars of
It adds the kind of variation that balances lyrics like “Cunt is not a dirty
pain when I’m dead and I’m gone niggas will remember the name”.
word” which opens the title track like an explosive. This is the kind of
I feel like these were the songs that he wrote for Street King but they weren’t quite good enough.
12
nexusmag.co.nz
abrasive, frantic rock music to throw yourself around to but adds just enough cushioning not to hurt too much.
nexus magazine
Lucky
Dust: An Elysian Trail
BOOK REVIEW BY RACHAEL ELLIOTT
GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT
This book is not for the squeamish- it opens with a graphic account
Xbox Games with Gold have been good to me so far and this game
of the author’s rape and pulls no punches as it follows her through
is no exception. In this 2D platformer, you take on the role of Dust,
the identification, capture and trial of her rapist. If you can stomach
a man/anthropomorphic cat with severe amnesia. In fact, Dust isn’t
an unpleasant topic, Lucky is raw, powerful and it exposes some of
even his real name… Along with waking up without memories, you
the complete bullshit at the heart of our so-called ‘justice system’.
also wake up with a talking magic sword (that seems to know far
Lucky- so named because the police officers told her that a young
more than it lets on) and an adorable flying companion called Fidget
girl was found beaten and dismembered in the tunnel where she
(who seems to know far less than she lets on). You soon embark on
was raped, and that by comparison she should count herself lucky-
a quest for memory restoration and get sidetracked with helping vari-
isn’t just harrowingly blunt, it’s also witty and triumphant. Sebold’s
ous people/anthropomorphic creatures. You know, the usual RPG fare.
experience at the hands of the justice system is (unsurprisingly) a
The game doesn’t really take itself all too seriously (for example,
bit of a clusterfuck, and is a real eye opener as to how victims are
when you encounter a new type of monster that immediately kills
actually treated.
another monster to show you how it works, Fidget remarks that
She chronicles the attempts of her family and friends to understand
the dead monster should have saved first. She also, when fighting
and provide comfort with an eye that somehow never seems angry
another big nasty, suggests with a panic laden wail that you “mash
at them for their shortcomings. It is this kind of detached observa- the buttons!”). That said, the story itself has some darker depth to it tion that positions the reader firmly in her corner. When her father
and the gameplay is pretty fun (especially when zipping around the
doesn’t understand how she could have ‘let’ someone rape her,
screen killing everything in sight). Dust, at times, comes across as a
Sebold patiently explains that just because a man isn’t holding a knife,
bit of a prick, but this is tempered nicely with Fidget’s childlike naivety
doesn’t mean you don’t fear for your life as he rapes you. And when
and rounded out by the sword’s calm “Mr. Know-it-all” responses.
‘nice’ boys no longer call on her once they find out what happened, Parts of the story might be fairly obvious, but some unexpected your heart is broken with hers. Sebold’s raw, authentic voice pulls you through her trauma into her
outcomes keep you on your toes. Or, at the least, keep you firmly rooted to your chair.
hard won recovery. It’s thrilling, disturbing but most of all it’s inspiring.
13
nexus magazine
HØNEST MATT MEETS PAUL CASSERLY Honest Matt Matt Hicks
Matt Hicks has a chat to legendary kiwi broadcaster/television producer/
every station. There is a lot of stuff. Just the other day I was listening to
writer/musician Paul Casserly, who’s busy making a documentary about the
some recordings from 1969 and some cassette tapes from BFM in 1982, the
history of New Zealand student radio. Kia Ora Paul, can you please give us a brief Sky TV style synopsis of
14
strange thing is how much things have changed but also stayed the same. I feel like I’m still halfway through to the tip of the iceberg. Does the doco
the documentary? The University of Radio, or Outnumbered By Sheep, or
concentrate on a certain time period? From the first broadcast in 1969 till
What’s This Bloody Racket? – actually we’re still working on a title for the
today. Are the student radio stations outside of Auckland (RDU, Active,
doco, but it will tell the story of student radio in New Zealand, the people
R1 etc etc) given much story time? Have you guys travelled around the
who built it, the stars it created, and how it changed the way we listen to
country for the doco? Yes, of course, we’re off to shoot in Christchurch and
radio. And, as the various stations hit middle age, what the future holds for
Dunedin next week, Wellington after that, and Palmy, and Hamilton, although
this important institution. Warning: It may contain alternative music, drug use,
sadly that’s the one station that has pretty much disappeared. These stations
sexual references and at least one member of the National Party. So when
are real hubs for the music communities, so it was a real bummer when
did you decide it would be a good idea to do a documentary about
Contact went under. What’s been the hardest thing about putting the
student radio? I was pushed into it by my colleague Jodie Molloy. To be
doco together? Trying to melt down the stories of all the stations into one
honest, it was her idea. But it’s a story that needs to be told, especially as
hour, and as ever finding that balance between entertaining and informa-
some of the early players are getting to that age when death could remove
tive. There are so many stories and people, but it’s a good challenge. What
the opportunity to interview them. Also, I love radio, and docos about radio
famous ex-student radio faces (DJs and musicians) can we expect to
are pretty rare. Initially we thought that getting a TV broadcaster for it would
see on the doco? To name a few: DJ Mu from Active, Marcus Lush from
prove impossible but Prime have developed a great music doco strand, so
BFM. Andy Flyboy and Wallace Chapman from Radio One, Greg Churchill
we’re fortunate to make that connection. Has it been quite fun digging
from RDU. But the non-famous will feature just as much, a lot of the people
through the archives? I imagine this must have been quite a cool project
who built student radio aren’t household names, but they’re great characters.
to research? Yes, it is but it’s impossible to get through everything from
More at sounzgood.co.nz.
nexusmag.co.nz
This week your stars didn’t have much to say, but speaking of stars, are you excited about Star Wars 7? We can’t really decide- it seems a massive risk but JJ Abrams has delivered before and probably deserves our trust. Either way any film that brings back Han Solo is cool with us. Also beware Toyotas or face the prospect of vehicular homicide.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
To the person who said last week that “Gemini is never interesting or funny,” we did some research on your behalf and consulted the stars and it turns out that it has very little to do with astrology, it just happens to be that most Gemini’s are boring cunts.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Sometimes you find yourself caught between two implausible outcomes. Don’t take the easy road, that’s for bitches. Double down, cut loose and release your inner genocidal dictator. Be prepared to burn it all down and walk away. It’s what Jesus would do.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) She screams in silence. A sullen riot penetrating through her mind. Waiting for a sign to smash the silence with the brick of self-control. What can we say, your zodiac is a big fan of creativity and rephrasing Green Day lyrics. Remember great artists steal all the time.
It’s your baby, I mean sure… technically it was only one night. I guess you have a point that you didn’t actually have sex, hold on, she didn’t even do THAT? You held hands? Maybe it’s not your baby but you should write a cheque anyway otherwise the women’s groups will hunt you down.
This week sees you take on a potentially sexy new challenge but just remember no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. Unless of course they are holding you hostage in some weird European country and you are just trying to stay alive before Liam Neeson rescues you.
This is the day. You will finally tell her. Every moment in A semester has lead up to this, the shameless flirting, the caustic glances and the inappropriate leering - today you are finally going to introduce yourself to your lecturer and let your forbidden cougar love take flight.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
It’s time to challenge preconceived notions, shed your outer shell and become the beautiful butterfly you were always meant to be. Unfortunately though, even after you become that beautiful butterfly you will still be the same old racist inside.
Seriously, this is getting beyond a joke, someone your age turning to horoscopes for mystical direction? You may as well be flipping a coin two-face. It’s a lot less wordy way of leaving shit up to fate. You almost deserve a pity horoscope but we don’t want to encourage you.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Life is full of challenges this week that will test your character. Jokes on them though, because you don’t have any real character, you are basically a sociopath and if challenged you will respond in the only way you know how, by unleashing blood and death and destroying all those who challenged you in the first place.
Conventional wisdom said man would never fly or touch the moon. Conventional wisdom said the internet would never catch on. This week- be unconventional, challenge wisdom, insult knowledge and spit in the face of those who presuppose anything about you. Also, it is a good week to get laid. We would have led with that but it isn’t as inspirational a message.
Venus is all up in Mercury this week, allegedly over something racist Mercury said about Saturn’s need for rims and lack of child support payments to its moons. Drama, conflict and more this week on Geordie Galaxy.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
HOROSCOPES
nexus magazine
Workout Playlist BEATS BY J
Laidback Luke / Peking Duk
Mufasa (Radio Edit)
Welcome to the Jungle Alvaro & Mercer / Lil Jon
50 Cent / Curtis
I Get Money
Busta Rhymes / Genesis
Break Ya Neck
Cypress Hill / Skull & Bones
(Rock) Superstar
Rage Against The Machine / Evil Empire Killing In The Name
DMX / The Definition of X: Pick of the Litter X Gon' Give it To Ya
Elliphant / Look Like You Love It Revolusion
Brillz & ETC!ETC! / TWONK Old School
End of Time
Beyoncé / 4
Y.A.L.A
M.I.A
Kid Cudi / MGMT / Ratatat
Pursuit Of Happiness
All I Do Is Win
DJ Khaled
For full playlist follow nexusmagazine on Spotifiy.
15
nexus magazine
AUTEUR PRESENTS WARD BOND Auteur Dr Richard Swainson
At the time I am writing this Auteur House is running a competition. On
which Bond enjoyed a bigger-than-usual part in the ensemble. It was also
a special display stand with 26 DVDs on it, customers are asked to name
the overweight actor's undoing. He died at age 57 early in the third season,
the actor who appears in all the films. The movies date from 1930's The Big
succumbing to a heart attack at least partially brought on by the added stress
Trail to 1959's Rio Bravo. As Western fans will know, both these titles star
of carrying a popular show.
John Wayne. Other Wayne films on the stand are They Were Expendable
Ward Bond was on the same university football team as John Wayne and
(1945), Fort Apache (1948), The Quiet Man (1952), Hondo (1954) and The
entered the movies at roughly the same time. He was destined to live in
Searchers (1956).
Wayne's cinematic shadow, his talent only given full expression in the 1950s,
John Wayne is not however the correct answer. The balance of the display
especially in The Searchers, the Western genre's highest achievement. As
is made up of many movies in which the Duke did not appear. Frank Capra
the grumpy Reverend Captain Samuel Johnson Bond provided both dramatic
films include It Happened One Night (1934), You Can't Take it With You (1938)
and comedic foil to the Duke at his very best.
and It's a Wonderful Life (1946). Fritz Lang's work is represented by Fury
Bond's off-screen antics also paralleled those of Wayne, often in unsavoury
(1936) and You Only Live Twice (1937). The screwball comedies Topper (1937)
ways. The most vehement of Hollywood's self-styled patriots, Bond took
and Bringing Up Baby (1938) feature as do two movies from Hollywood's
an active part in the blacklist, attempting to expose and deny employment
greatest year, 1939: Gone With the Wind and Drums Along the Mohawk.
to those he considered "communists". This real-life villainy perhaps also
William Wyler's Dead End (1937), John Huston's The Maltese Falcon (1941)
reflected some of the man's movie parts yet he was far from type-cast as
and Nicholas Ray's Johnny Guitar (1954) are other, equally impressive titles.
the bad guy. In fact, after a fashion he was the inspiration for Sesame Street's
The actor who featured in all of these classics and many more besides is
Bert. The muppet was named after Bond's character in It's A Wonderful Life,
far from a household name today. Though Ward Bond's career lasted just
16
a cop whose best friend was Ernie the cab driver.
over 30 years he only became a bona fide star in his last couple by achieving
Whatever Bond's personal shortcomings his 273 credits read like the hon-
on the small screen what had always eluded him on the big. Wagon Train
ours board of the studio era. It's difficult to think of an actor who made more
was a television series inspired by the John Ford film of the same name in
genuinely great films.
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
WHITE TRASH Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf
I came across a gem of a line the other day. “Paris Hilton proves you don’t
heard before but wasn’t quite sure what it meant; the acronym NASCAR.
have to be poor to be white trash”.
I can now reveal it stands for the National Association for Stock-car Auto
Quite so. It’s an instructive little exercise to hunt down just what the phrase
Racing, and, according to an authoritative guide, is somehow linked to the
“white trash” means to various commentators, bloggers and publishers out
liking of professional wrestling and cheap beer. Obviously these are harmless
there. Author Charlotte Hays has recently written a book on the subject,
pastimes engaged in by a certain ‘cultural’ grouping that go further to define
partly in response to the new visibility of the phenomenon brought about by
their various predilections. All of this is interesting enough from some socio-
the way Reality Television is currently swamping the airwaves, Here Comes
logical point of view, but the term ‘white trash’ itself carries unmistakable
Honey Boo Boo being a representative sample. The book is called, When Did
pejorative connotations and it’s this that excites my interest.
White Trash Become the New Normal? In endeavouring to catch the essence
I’m sure that the great American writer and southern gentleman, William
of the term, someone suggested that to see WT people at their best, one
Faulkner, never used the label, ‘white trash’ but in his novels, he delineated
needed only watch Jerry Springer reruns. Someone else described them as
with savage accuracy the moral vacuity of such a people in a fictional fam-
low income whites who spend their tax returns on wide screen TV’s instead
ily he called the Snopes. They were a poor white clan of cunning, wily
of food for their kids. Apparently, according to those who know, a white trash person is never
and ruthless individuals who Faulkner saw as infecting Southern values. Such characterization resonated well with another classification I found:
wrong, never to blame, always the victim and never the perpetrator. A certain
a derogatory term typically used for Southern white people whose traits
picture is starting to emerge and coalesce here. One of my favourite portray-
include a bent toward chauvinism, racism, bigotry, conservatism, Protestant
als, however, would have to be the person who described them as Texan
Christianity, country music and beer.
wannabe cowboys who carelessly overrun foreign countries without noticing
I looked at this and wondered about the “Protestant Christian” bit. How did
the thousands of innocent lives that are being constantly ended and then
that figure? Then I remembered that the Methodists in Hamilton East had
having the nerve to say “God is on our side”.There’s a good deal of it around
recently bulldozed their one hundred year old chapel, in the dead of night, as
at the moment. God and Allah have a lot to answer for.
it were, cunning, wily and without any conscience.
Further to my white trash travels, I stumbled across a term I’d vaguely
17
nexus magazine
PERTH, AUSTRALIA Overseas Experience Haemia Foote
I arrived in Perth after eating my first ever in-flight meal. I would
18
Fremantle Markets and the Fremantle Market’s Bar: Apparently Freo,
now like to take the opportunity to fully congratulate the staff of Virgin
as it’s fondly named, is the haunt of Perth’s hipster community, much
Australia. Your air hostesses wore an incredible amount of both per-
to the mild distress of my Bogan man friend. But what it lacks in car
fume and makeup and they were distracted with weekend catch-up
grease and Metallica t-shirts it makes up for in good vibes, heaps to
chats with each other whilst they served us, but your food. Mmh. It
look at and a bar that plays live music from about midday Friday to
was poorly presented and the bread roll was still frozen in the middle
Sunday. You can, and we did, while away plenty of hours.
but actually, I was impressed even if it appears I’m giving a scathing
Yanchep National Park: It’s about an hour’s drive out of Perth cen-
review. The vegetarian pasta was rubbish of some description but
tral but it’s a nifty and obscure little spot. They’ve got a small koala
I thoroughly enjoyed it. So thank you. At that time in the morning,
boardwalk set up where you can gawk at the koala’s ass while he
however, I would have quite possibly eaten my own arm. Or the flight
sleeps in a tree in the daytime, and then there’s heaps of kangaroo
attendant because she was annoying me.
poop indicating a decent roo population, of which I saw three. Find
Rad things you should do in Perth:
somewhere else to eat food or better yet, take a picnic! Lots of birds
The Perth Mint, Perth CBD: In the city centre there is a building that’s
and a swamp-like lake called Loch McNess (ahahaha) to look at if you
been there since 1866. $25 per adult for a tour – which was friggin
can’t wake a koala to hug.
interesting – and you get to watch a gold bar get poured and see a
Char Char Bull, Fremantle: Oh my life. Make a booking for this place.
one tonne gold coin that looks like it’s made out of polystyrene. Oh,
It’s busy and for good reason. The menu revolves around their steak
and try as you might, you can’t take photos.
dishes but it has heaps of other offerings as well. And the food is
Mexican nachos at Zapata’s, Fremantle: Cheap meal on a Tuesday so
amazing. You’ll easily pay $45 for a main but you should eat there
it was a regular haunt for my temporary flat-family. Apparently it can
at least once.
be a bit hit and miss at this place. Sometimes their mild is not so mild.
Creatures Next Door, Fremantle: Perth’s version of Auckland’s Comedy
This week though, they were on form! I’d go back.
Club. There’s a good looking bar next door which we didn’t actually go
Kings Park, Perth CBD: On a sunny day, of which apparently in Perth
into, but the Comedy Club is a cool place and they had some decent
there are many (obvious lies), the views from the park are epic. Kings
acts on when we were there too. $30 entry for the night. We went
Park is set on a hill at that overlooks Perth’s CBD, you can see hills
when there were two main acts, two raw comedy contestants and a
in the direction of Kalgoorlie, a seven hour train trek, and there are
very flamboyant MC. Warning: hipsters aplenty.
spectacular views over the water toward Fremantle etc.
The Left Bank, Fremantle: A bar that unfortunately retained the smell
Il Lido, Cottesloe Beach: Café food which is more on the pricy side
of a passing cattle truck reeeeally well. Good food and a nice sports
but it’s got some great views of the beach and delicious food. We
bar vibe. This place would be lovely on a sunny day. It was not sunny
went back twice. The second time I had fruit toast with mandarin curd
when I was there. In fact it was unsunny. But The Left Bank was
and oh my life it was delicious.
warm and cosy, probably much like that cattle truck.
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
Not A Fan OLIVER DUNN
New Nexus writer Oliver Dunn tackles one of the biggest issues in sports, idiots jummping on the bandwagon of successful teams. Listen up Heat fans, this one is about you. What is the worst thing in sport? Some might say cheating,
commitment to any one team in order to feel part of something
while others may point to steroid use. It could be injuries, fat-cat
successful. The team they support changes depending on who
owners or even flopping. Arguments can be made, opinions
is doing good. They are often found saying they support the
can be shared, but for some fans, the worst thing in sport is
champion team, not long after they won, without really knowing
the fans themselves. This is the type of "fan" who is begging for the quotation
anything about the sport or the team except for the fact that they won.”
marks that surround it. A classification for those among us
In many cases of bandwagoning, the culprits come from
whose loyalty is for hire. The snakes in the grass slithering from
countries outside of the sport in question. These fans have no
team to team with no spine and no allegiance. Most commonly
geographical ties to any of the teams and therefore choose who
found at the office water cooler and the side of the field, they
to support based on other merits. With basketball becoming
go by one very distinct title- "Bandwagoner".
more and more popular in New Zealand, more young Kiwis are
“A DIRTY, TABOO WORD WHISPERED AMONGST SPORTING COMMUNITIES, IT’S AS DANGEROUS AS UTTERING THE NAME 'VOLDEMORT', BECAUSE TO ACCUSE ONE OF BEING A BANDWAGONER IS TO QUESTION THEIR VERY INTEGRITY.”
A dirty, taboo word whispered amongst sporting communities,
following the NBA, the American league that is home to the
it’s as dangerous as uttering the name 'Voldemort', because to
best players in the world. The NBA has become more than a
accuse one of being a Bandwagoner is to question their very
basketball league, it’s now a unique scene of athletes, person-
integrity. This stigmatic title is used to describe an individual
alities, extravagance and showmanship. Basketball jerseys are
who follows a sports team due to their success or popular-
treated as fashion statements. Basketball shoes are collectors’
ity, rather than for more common qualities such as hometown
items. Players are more accessible now than ever: with a strong
loyalty.
voice in social media they have become celebrities within popu-
Luke Cowley, 23, represents the other side of the coin. A sports fan for as long as he can remember, he has his own definition of what it means to be a bandwagon fan. He has
lar culture. NBA is now bigger than basketball itself, becoming the definition of cool for many New Zealanders. Luke says the NBA is worse for bandwagoning in New
clearly pondered this topic before. “Somebody of weak charac- Zealand than other sports. “Most New Zealanders have no geoter and no self-formed opinions, who only supports the most
graphical connection to any of the teams. So they are likely to
successful or popular sports teams with no sense of loyalty or
jump on the bandwagon of a successful team like the Miami Heat.”
19
nexus magazine
In a survey with ten NBA fans from NZ, between the ages 20
Then they won a championship. Then another. With winning
and 23, the eager hoop heads were asked why they chose their
came the bandwagoners. All of a sudden every individual that
team. Seven of them pulled on their selected jersey because
vaguely followed the NBA in the past is now a fully-fledged Heat
their favourite player put on the same one. This shows that the
fan. What’s worse is the Heat’s winning spawned bandwagon
best players in the league have become bigger than the league
fans not just in New Zealand, but in the United States as well. A
itself, drawing fans in from the very beginning. What was also
place where loyalty should be far more sacred, with hometown
notable is that out of the ten fans surveyed, no one had the
bragging rights and family traditions embedded deep within the
same favourite player, or team.
sporting community. This inner-country betrayal was on display
It’s clear that talent and success attract young Kiwis towards
in Washington DC during a game between the hometown
certain organisations, with their favourite players always being
Wizards and the Miami Heat. It was the Wizards first sell-out
highly talented athletes who are generally on good teams. So
of the season and they weren't kidding themselves about why.
how, then, do we draw the difference between the motives of
The ‘Bandwagon Cam’ was broadcasted on the jumbo screen
loyal fans and bandwagon fans, because of course people will
in the arena to name and shame Washington natives rocking
always want to follow a team that wins?
Miami Heat gear.
Luke says although he understands the premise of the band-
With bandwagoning so out in the open now, it's important to
wagon fan, he doesn’t like it. “I understand it to a degree, like if
know whether we should let it bother us. As sports fans should
you are going to start following a team you’re not likely going to
we be worried about what is happening to our culture, or would
“WHAT I DON'T LIKE IS THE ABSOLUTE LACK OF LOYALTY. THIS YEAR THE LAKERS HAD THEIR WORST SEASON IN YEARS AND ALL THEIR BANDWAGON FANS FROM THEIR RECENT CHAMPIONSHIPS ARE NOW MIAMI HEAT FANS.”
choose a team that is going to constantly let you down. What I
When asked whether it's a problem in sports today, Luke
their worst season in years and all their bandwagon fans from
gives his honest opinion. "I think this has always been a problem
their recent championships are now Miami Heat fans.” Former champions Miami Heat won back to back titles in
20
that just feed fire to the flame?
don't like is the absolute lack of loyalty. This year the Lakers had
but more so now with social media. Supporting a team is so more interactive nowadays, being able to follow the teams and
2012 and 2013 and until last week their best player was LeBron
players on facebook, twitter etc. In my opinion bandwagoners
James, not only the most talented on the roster, but on the
just want to be part of something and let others know that they
planet. Someone with this kind of reputation has seen his jer-
are part of something, but by doing this on social media it is
sey become the most sold for six out of the ten years he’s
very visible to others that you are a bandwagon bandit."
been in the league. Unsurprisingly, then, the Miami Heat have
Whether you see it as a problem or not, bandwagoning is
been subject to some blatant bandwagoning. A move from
here to stay. With champions rising and falling, the never- end-
LeBron, as well as another all-star in the 2010 offseason created
ing scramble of the bandwagoners rages on, and all we can do
a super team of talent in Miami. Die hard LeBron fans made
is watch from the sideline and hope our team isn't next.
the move with their favourite player. Then there was the villain-
For the diehard LeBron James fans bandwagoning is getting
ous first season, fuelled by the way in which LeBron exited his
expensive but remember there is a bright side. Now that King
hometown of Cleveland and boastful predictions of multiple
James has returned to Cleaveland you can reach into the back of
championships. The Miami Heat became the new villains of the
your wardrobe, dust off your Cav's shirt and pretend you have
league with LeBron as the poster boy of evil.
been a true fan from the start.
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
The Truth about Sarah JAMES RAFFAN
Being at university is a perfectly valid way to find yourself, to figure out what you want to be when you grow up. Sarah McLaughlin already knew what she wanted to be but her Hillary Schollarship is helping her get a better back up plan. A month ago a seemingly innocuous press release
was eligible she would have been picked for that side.
from the University of Waikato profiled Sarah
She went on to play for her country a number of times.
Mclaughlin, footballer and Hillary Scholar. It talked
After she returns from her latest injury I have very little
about how Sarah loved the University and how it had
doubt she will reach those heights again and will likely
given her options for a career and prospects for the
go on to be one of the best the country has seen.
future. What it didn’t do was talk about the Sarah that
The reason I put together this inelegant and slightly
I know. So I thought I would take a few columns and
rushed biography is because the University has it all
let the truth about Sarah and possibly all of the Hillary
wrong. The Sarah’s of this world, and likely every other
Scholars out.
Hillary Scholar, have never taken up the University’s
See, all you ever need to know about Sarah Mclaughlin begins and ends with football. When
generous offer seeking a career path- they have them already.
I met her she was a shy and retiring year nine who
Sarah wants to be, and has been before, a profes-
was already blessed with an abundance of talent well
sional footballer playing overseas as a representative
“THE UNIVERSITY ISN’T HER PLAN. IT’S HER BACKUP PLAN, AND ONE THAT, WITH ANY LUCK, SHE WON’T NEED FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME.” beyond her years and was either too humble or sim-
for her country. If you asked her she would likely tell
ply too naive to realise just how good she was. But
you that she wants to do that for the next ten to fifteen
it was on the rough, uneven surfaces of Elliot Park
years.
that her potential and that of her training partner (All
See people like you or I aren’t that different from
White Marco Rojas) would be on show every Saturday
Hillary kids. We all grew up with dreams. The only dif-
morning. On Sundays (when she wasn’t playing Touch)
ference is at some point I realised I wasn’t going to
she would ply her trade with local club Hamilton North.
manage Manchester United or be the Bass Player for
Eventually ambition got the better of her and she
the Ramones. Sarah on the other hand, never grew out
moved to the Claudelands Rovers, where she was one
of her dreams and never accepted no for an answer.
of the youngest players to play in, and win, Auckland’s
The University isn’t her plan. It’s her backup plan, and
Northern League. During our friendship I have also
one that, with any luck, she won’t need for a very, very
watched her spend her weeks training with men’s
long time.
national leagues. I have it on good authority that if she
22
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
23
nexus magazine
Sinners Vs Saints JAMES RAFFAN
Sports are full of continued debates about the best of and the worst of, all of which are judged by inane criteria and flawed logic. So we thought we would give it a go. Worst XI
would have been higher on the list had we been able
11. Tiger Woods. Ok let’s get the contentious ones out
to remember his name without Googling “dog fighting
of the way right off the bat. Tiger Woods banged a lot of
moron.”
women. A lot of women who coincidentally knew he was
07. Mark Todd. It is clear that a horse has never been so
married. He is, after all, the most recognisable athlete in
aptly named than Mark Todd’s Charisma- as he has abso-
all of the sports- besides which, there aren’t a lot of dudes
lutely no charm of his own. We would later come to find
named Tiger floating around. Does he deserve to be on
out that it wasn’t Todd’s fault though. The former Olympic
the list for being a serial philanderer? Sure why not. But
medallist was allegedly hoofing down coke like it had an
when you’ve just won your 4th Green Jacket to go with
antidote in it. Never was a man so built for a life of drugs
“THE FORMER OLYMPIC MEDALLIST WAS ALLEGEDLY HOOFING DOWN COKE LIKE IT HAD AN ANTIDOTE IN IT. NEVER WAS A MAN SO BUILT FOR A LIFE OF DRUGS THAT HE PERSONIFIED THE PHRASE ‘COCAINE NOSE JOB.’”
your 16 other majors you aren’t going to sit alone and
that he personified the phrase ‘Cocaine nose job.’ In his
masturbate to the fit one from Grey’s Anatomy, are you?
defence- equestrian is fucking boring.
10. Le Bron James. No one cares that King James went
06. Donald Sterling. In Don Sterling’s defence… we’re
to Miami. In hindsight very few people care that he is
just kidding there is no defence for that racist dickhead.
going back to Cleveland. What we do care about is that
05. Tongan Thor. When asked last week, Taniela Tupou, the
he held a two hour ESPN press release to tell everyone
18 year old phenom nicknamed the “Tongan Thor” said
what he decided to do when he moved and we will never
that New Zealand Rugby needed to make him a second-
get those two hours back.
ary school’s player. If they didn’t, they would risk losing
09. Lou Vincent. Chris Cairns is innocent till proven guilty.
him to Australia where he had contract offers, or even
Lou Vincent is on record as a matchfixer, a cheat and most
to Tonga where he could represent them. If professional
annoying of all- a snitch. Surely he now needs stitches.
sports is to even fake integrity at this point they should
08. Michael Vick. Vick postponed a promising career as an
buy his plane ticket and tell him to enjoy Sydney.
NFL quarterback to do a stretch in prison after orchestrat-
04. Mike Tyson. Rapist, thief, movie star and second
ing events and training some dogs to fight for profit. He
bitey’st athlete to make this list. At the end of the day
25
nexus magazine
you can’t stay mad at Tyson. If you did he would probably
07. Larry Bird & Magic Johnson. Never were there
rape and beat you.
two greater rivals that became two better friends than
03. OJ Simpson / Oscar Pistorius. This murderous two-
Larry Legend and Magic Johnson. Imagine if Kobe and
some is one we couldn’t separate. The cry at OJ’s trial
Lebron were bitter rivals, best friends and not complete
was if the glove don’t fit you must acquit. Similarly at
dickheads. So storied was their rivalry it was the subject
Pistorius trial: “If the shoes don’t fit then he was prob-
of an ESPN documentary, a Broadway play and several
ably wearing different legs at the time.” Evil, evil bastards.
McDonald’s ads. So great was the rivalry that Bird retired
02 Lance Armstrong. What’s left to be said about Lance
a year after Magic and although he was injured he said
Armstrong except, what a cunt.
he didn’t feel right playing against a Magic-free Lakers.
01 Luis Suarez. The sheer fact that you have to be specific
06. Bastian Schweinsteiger. Never has a German been
when googling Suarez biting to get the exact incident you
more loveable than when we watched Schwiney raise
mean is reason enough for him to top the list. This noctur-
the world cup. I don’t think the world is ready to say all
nal sub-human ,who has just signed for Barcelona so he
is forgiven just yet, but for what it’s worth you’re alright
can sit on a beach while banned from football, is so bad
in our book.
we forget all the other evil shit and focus on the biting.
05. Lydia Ko. Before Barrack Obama took office they gave
What about the racism during a league match with Patrice
him the Nobel Peace Prize for his “promise.” Welcome to
“...‘POTENTIAL DOWNSIDE: SEEMS TOO RELAXED… SWEET BRO.’ WE HAVE ACTUALLY NEVER BEEN PROUDER TO BE KIWIS THAN THAT MOMENT.”
26
Evra, or the intentional hand ball that helped knock Ghana
our biased, biased list promising athlete Lydia Ko.
out of the world cup? Suarez is proper evil. He probably
04. Valerie Adams. That guy from Belarus stole her medal
votes Conservative.
and she was fucking cool about it. She maybe the sec-
Best XI
ond best Adams on this list but she is number one in
11. Chris Cairns. Until someone tells us different we are
our hearts.
team Cairns, the humble second generation fudgepacker
03. Ross Taylor. Somewhere in Auckland the NZ Cricket
who gave New Zealand an actual trophy and Kyle Mills a
rocket scientists thought, “Let’s take the captaincy off the
hairstyle for like 12 years.
well performing guy and give it to the mouthy whiney one
10. Michael Schumacher. Was Schumacher arrogant?
from Otago whose brother is a mediocre spin bowler”. At
Unquestionably. Was he hated? Without doubt. Is he
that point you or I would have done exactly what Ross
coming out of a coma and in a rehab plan? Yes. We never
Taylor should have done and delivered the “fuck you, fuck
said the list was fair.
you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you, I’m out” speech.
09. Jessica Ennis. Who can forget the British Olympic
Instead he said “I’ll handle my shit and just keep winning
heptathlete who became the world’s darling after winning
games”- and he has done.
gold then getting photographed eating fish and chips. Oh
02. Stephen Adams. His draft card literally said “potential
we can forget her? Jessica Ennis? No? OK.
downside: seems too relaxed… Sweet bro.” We have
08. Kelly Slater. What an actual legend. He has won so
actually never been prouder to be Kiwis than that moment.
much now he literally just gives away his money to charity
01. Stacey Jones. Ok we cheated a bit. He’s immortal, he’s
and ocean research. Also he banged Pamela Anderson
a great guy and god dammit if he isn’t the most loveable
and starred on Baywatch in the early 90s when you would
athlete to ever play on a consistently losing side. What
want tell your mates about either of those things.
a GC.
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
way better than halls food
27
nexus magazine
HOW TO HIDE A HICKEY Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady
Imagine my delight when I received a request for this week’s Sweet Tips! A rare request but one I’m sure everyone would quietly like to know. “Sweet Painted Lady, can you please tell me how to cover a hickey?” Hickey, Love Bite, Kiss Mark ; it has many names but the same result – A small/ large dark bruising generally on the neck- though I have covered them on faces and other extremities. Hickeys are the result of burst blood vessels on the surface of the skin caused by vigorous sucking or hard kissing. Often not seen until you look in the mirror and have a heart attack thinking about tomorrow’s job interview, or how you’re going to cover that at dinner with the in-laws tonight. Never fear I have some quick tips to help you cover them (and small tattoos) so you’re not sporting a turtleneck on a Waikato summers day! You will need concealer, face powder, foundation and a flat concealer brush or sponge. Clean the area and dry it, take your concealer and push a small amount into the surface of the hickey. Take your face powder and press this on top to seal the concealer Repeat with the concealer again and seal with the powder To match it with your skin-tone stipple your foundation on top, blend lightly at the edges and seal with the powder. Avoid rubbing it throughout the day or night and carry your concealer and powder for easy touch ups. Sweet Tips: If your hickey is red then green-based primers or corrector concealers will help cancel that out. If you’re covering a heavier tattoo, Perceive, a corrective concealer with red in it will help cancel out the black. If you realise that you’ve just received a hickey? Run and ice that sucker! Sweet Tips requests can be sent to me via pm on my fb page or on my blog. sweetpaintedladynz.com
28
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
EATING OUT Aunty Slut
Dear Aunty Slut,
fishing, take him out to Raglan, buy him fish and chips and do some
I want to take my boyfriend on a date (unconventional, I know) Do you
surf casting. If he loves to game- build a fort in the lounge, load up
have any suggestions on what we could do?
on snacks and have a go at Call of Duty. If he loves beer, take him to
Keran
a Good George tasting. If you’re not sure what he’d enjoy, or money is tight then go for a
Dear Keran,
walk. To be clear, I don’t mean go for a walk through the Gardens
Bollocks to conventional- dating is a thing. In fact- dating should be
(that shit’s depressing), I mean go wander the riverbank, or meander
more of a thing. Instead of going out and feeling people up in bars,
through town stopping for coffee or ice cream, or cocktails. Go to the
we should be chatting up the cute human standing in front of us in
park and push each other on the swings. Or hell, nab a Dominos pizza
the line at Espresso Plus, and buying them a coffee. You know, actu-
and score an hour of cunnilingus. Whatever you do, make sure that
ally learning their names before helping ourselves to their bodies. But
you’re giving each other your full attention. Turn your phones off and
I guess that’s a rant for another time. Suffice it to say- I love that you
just be. Choose something you’ll both enjoy, and go for it.
want to take your man on a date. The best thing about a date is that it doesn’t have to be anything
If it’s a special occasion though, you might like to try something a bit different. Why don’t you hit a burlesque show? Burlesque is
fancy. Uncle Slut and I have a standing Tuesday night date where
pretty sexy and manages to avoid the objectifying/misogynistic
we get Dominos pizza and beer, watch GoT together and have loud,
miasma that pervades many strip clubs. It’s sensual and it’s sexy
unapologetic sex. Sounds simple- but it’s something to look forward
as hell. Sometimes you can even buy a pair of nipple pasties of your
to when our week is shit. The most important part about a date is that
own- which I’m sure your man would love you to learn to twirl. Then
you make time to enjoy each other’s company.
on the way home, grab a Dominos pizza and some cunnilingus.
I’m a fan of unconventional dates- I love being taken to the zoo for
What can I say, I love pizza and sex.
a picnic, or to Rotorua to ride the luge. But I’m also quite partial to a Dominos pizza and an hour or so of cunnilingus. The trick to a good
Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz
date is knowing your audience. What does your man like? If he loves
29
PHOTOGRAPH: PHILLIP WONG
nexus magazine
MAKING FRIENDS & EXERCISING Fitness Bro Lauren Barnard
It was easier to wake up this morning; I'm not sure if my
quite distressing, 'waking up' business.
sleep schedule is adjusting, or if these are the early stir-
So why has Richard taken up the Tough Guy Challenge spe-
rings of Stockholm Syndrome. Fellow trainees are looking
cifically? “Because I'm an idiot!” he grins. I empathise. Hey,
bright and chirpy, despite the fact that we've beaten the dawn
we might all be a little bit crazy, but if this is an asylum, I
chorus to consciousness.
guarantee it's the friendliest, happiest one in the world.
“‘YOUR BODY NEVER GIVES UP; IT'S
Sarah and Katie, two third-year
I'm impressed by this gentle computer technician's tenacity
law students, take me under
as we tag-team sprint. “I'm not the fastest or the strongest,
ALWAYS YOUR MIND.’ AFTER THE LAST
their wing during the now nearly-
but I just don't stop. I don't know how.” And he doesn't,
mundane jogging warm-up. This
except to wait for me as I painfully inch along in an army crawl,
is the first time I've seen them
and waddle through sumo walks he's already mastered.
SET OF BURPEES, MY KNEES FEEL ODDLY GELATINOUS, AND I PONDER HIS
here, but possibly also the first
My lungs attempt to ditch their cruel fleshy prison and take
ADVICE DUBIOUSLY.”
time I've managed to properly
flight, but Richard coaches me through the tyre flips and
pry my eyes open before group
medicine ball sit-ups. “Your body never gives up; it's always
training. We trade our regular
your mind.” After the last set of burpees, my knees feel oddly
gym times, and Sarah gives me some advice on how to work up to actual, hardcore, real-person pull-ups. My arms shake at the thought.
nexusmag.co.nz
Thankfully, we won't need to run all the way to the Rotorua course. There are still around 15 seats on the UniRec booked
When we pair off, I meet Richard, who works IT for the
bus currently bereft of bums – and while it's not quite a
Waikato Regional Council. He's an old hand at training – having
free lunch, a free ride with a bunch of mad-folk isn't such a
rocked countless boot camps, classes, and early exercise ses-
bad substitute.
sions, he has a valuable head-start on this foreign, and frankly
30
gelatinous, and I ponder his advice dubiously.
nexus magazine
“...WATCHING MYSELF SLOWLY IMPROVE INCH BY INCH, TURN BY TURN, HAS SHOWN ME THAT THE ONLY WAY THAT I’LL ACHIEVE WHAT I WANT TO IN LIFE IS BY CONTINUOUSLY STRUGGLING TO GET BETTER, BUT ALSO ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT THAT I CAN.”
KIND OF ABOUT SURFING, KIND OF NOT Carnage Jules Craft
In my time I’ve stumbled across a few passions. First I wanted to be the
untouchable about your first love.
best Pokemon trainer in the world but that failed cause Pikachu’s a ratchet
Surfing has given me something that is 100% mine. I have struggled
rat who choose Ashe over me. Then I moved onto wanting to be King of Tag
through competitions, nearly drowned countless times, and been scared
at Wainui Beach Primary school- this I actually achieved, no one could touch a
shitless to the point that I couldn’t even move. It’s given me a confidence in
young gremlin like me out on the playground bark. After this I thought I’d try
myself that is kind of hard to explain. Not the sort of confidence that helps
my hand in Runescape but sadly due to the lack of support from my parents I
you with public speaking or standing up to that mean teacher who was
couldn’t follow this dream, do you know how fucking hard it is to get level 99
always picking on you. It’s just now when I’m faced with something daunt-
fishing when you’re only allocated 1 hour of dial up a day? Up yours mother
ing I find it a little easier to believe in myself. The hours I put into my surfing
and father, I could have been the next Zezima.
and watching myself slowly improve inch by inch, turn by turn, has shown
After these phases phased out I was lucky enough to trip up on a surfboard. Since the moment I caught my first green face wave surfing took over every-
me that the only way that I’ll achieve what I want to in life is by continuously struggling to get better, but also enjoying every moment that I can.
thing. I’d be up at 6am before school just so I could sneak in an early morning
It’s kind of funny re-reading those last words, it sounds much too deep
ride, arriving at school with a cold salty face and expression of absolute
for an ADHD muppet who needs a haircut. The thing is I usually hate talk-
froth. If the wind was blowing offshore I’d be jumping up and down in my
ing about surfing. It’s not because I’m a shred the gnarl surf snob it’s just
seat until the 3pm bell rang. Nothing beat racing straight from the bus stop
because it’s impossible to truly explain what surfing means to me. I’d rather
to the back shed where I’d rip on my wettie and sprint down to the ocean,
just surf. Instead let’s yarn about my epic kill streak I just got on lux, some
surfboard under arm. There was always a competition about which one of
dope as Home Brew Crew song, or even that pretty lass you kissed last
our group members could get the first wave. There’s something absolutely
week. Just don’t bring up the ocean, I miss it too much. Err Crafty out x
31
nexus magazine
HOW TO GET DEM FREEBIES Cash Hacks Alix Higby
Freebies; a brief, and nowhere near concise, how to. Everybody loves a bargain, but they love free shit even more. Generally speaking, there is no such thing as a free lunch. You will always make some kind of a trade-off – be it money, time, or dignity
and respect through edible handouts. Remain opportune; if it requires more than 60 seconds of your time then forget about it- you’ve got other shit to worry about. Things everybody knows to be free:
and self-worth. I am here to distinguish the blurry lines dividing what
•
Tomato sauce packets from McD’s. Ask and you shall receive.
is kind of mostly free, and what is kind of mostly just a waste of
•
Toilet paper from public restrooms. I believe this is considered
your time.
by some (mostly custodians) as stealing.
Books from the library! Sure, you can borrow free books whenever
•
Charging your devices at university.
you want, but you kind of pay fees so that’s not what I’m getting at.
•
Heating in the library - just watch GOT from the stacks. Bring your onesie.
Lately, they have that stand out the front with a stack of books free to a good home. I’m going to be honest with you; they’re most likely
•
Wifi at McDonalds.
a shit read. But, books are not only useful for their content. Other
•
Revenge, if done correctly.
uses for these books include: firewood, desk leg prop, paperweight,
Things you thought might be free, but are in fact not really:
projectiles, or you can hollow out the middle for a top-secret compart-
•
Phones sold at $0 but on a $15,000 a month contract.
ment to keep your flatmates out
•
Anything that belongs to someone else, including boy-
of your weed. But unless you
“...AND ANYONE ELSE WHO IS HOPING TO BUY YOUR LOVE AND RESPECT THROUGH EDIBLE HANDOUTS.”
friends and girlfriends, (though people are technically not
are 12, this last option is probably just a waste of your time
possessions.) •
and what separates the B+
food are not. Same goes for children, but please don’t take
from the A-. Food! If you have parents,
them to the vet when they get sick. •
use them. More precisely, their
Couponing aka hours-better-spent-earning-a-wage-and-notsaving-50c.
kitchen. Keep up appearances at your family home and sneak out a
•
Anything with terms and conditions.
can of beans or a packet of rice each visit. If your parents are cool, you
•
Sex with randoms you met in town, see above. I.e. did you
can probably be open with them about your intentions. If they’re not,
pay for drinks and the taxi? Will your friends use this against
go for the already opened packets, take boring staple foods, and don’t
you? Do they seem like the jealous and crazy type that will
decimate an entire food type. If you don’t have a parental kitchen to
burn all your shit if you get back with your ex? No, no, and no?
raid, or you are greedy, stalk organisations like the WSU, politicians looking for the youth vote, displays of church goodwill in the form of soup and pancakes, and anyone else who is hoping to buy your love
32
Puppies. While their love is unconditional, their vet bills and
nexusmag.co.nz
Then yahtzee my friend, you win. If you want more options for free stuff, like the Nexus Facebook page, you’ve been told.
nexus magazine
“...SPARKING A TWITTER STORM WITH OVER 40 MILLION TWEETS OF THE HASHTAG #REALWOMENHAVEEYEBROWS.”
BE BEAUTIFUL A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson
Being beautiful is always in fashion, and for good reason:
which the hairdresser/prospective arsonist can proceed to
people do shit for you when you’re pretty.
trim off.
No Makeup Makeup. The makeupless look was a hit at the
Septum Piercings. Riri did it, so it’s probably going to be
Fall 2014/2015 collections of Alexander Wang, Balmain, Jil
trendy again. I’ve had mine for 3 years, it hides in my nose
Sander and Christopher Kane. I once did a fashion show with-
and occasionally smells weird.
out makeup. Looking back at the photos, the acne on my chin made it appear as though I was drooling blood.
Cat Eyes. There must have been a sale on liquid eyeliner, because the classic flick was seen at the Fall 2014/2015 shows
Bleached Eyebrows. Givenchy and Marc Jacobs both
of such designers as Dior, Karen Walker, Rag & Bone and
bleached the shit out of their model’s brows for their Fall
Lanvin. My favourite thing about liquid eyeliner is the way it
2014/2015 collections, sparking a twitter storm with over 40
looks when you try to wash it off. I never went full-on with my
million tweets of the hashtag #realwomenhaveeyebrows.
emo phase, so it’s nice to enter it once again when I shower.
Green Smoothies. Green smoothies detoxify your body,
Blue Eyeshadow. My inner 12 year old rejoiced at the sight
making you less bloated and a better human. In other words,
of blue eyeshadow at the Fall 2014/2015 collections of Dior,
green smoothies do what livers do, except they probably don’t.
Kenzo and Temperley London. Vogue.com recently ran an
Lighting your Hair on Fire. Singeing the ends of your hair
article about how a staff member dared to wear blue eye-
after a haircut is becoming increasingly popular in Brazil. The
shadow. That very staff member is currently being issued with
treatment, known as velaterapia, rids hair of split ends without
a bravery award.
sacrificing length. The process involves twisting sections of
Short Bangs. Two-inch bangs are bang on trend right now,
the victim’s hair and running a candle past it. The flame sup-
plus they look bangin! No longer just for weirdos on the
posedly opens the hair follicles, making it more easily absorb
fringe of society, short bangs have made their way to the
nutrients, but more importantly, it makes split ends stand out,
mainstream, and they’re hair to stay.
33
nexus magazine
WHY JOHN KEY IS SO POPULAR
THE ADULT CHECKLIST
Politics Ryan Wood
Louise Vs The World Louise Hutt
There’s nothing like filing a tax return to make you feel like an adult,
It is one of the great mysteries of the modern era. Despite his
with the feeling of accomplishment when you fill out a form you only
government suffering scandal after scandal, blunder after blunder,
had to Google half of, but know the consequences of not-filling-out
John Key is still popular. What is it about this former money trader
are catastrophic. I have nightmares about tax men yelling at me large
that renders him seemingly untouchable by his political opponents?
sums of numbers I have to add up. It’s not pleasant. My brother is a first year, which makes me think back to what I was like
Well, part of the appeal is that he makes you feel smart. Key knows a lot about swapping currencies for a profit, I guess, but not much
then: not entirely incompetent, but I know filling out a tax form would
more. Ask him what he thinks of world affairs or New Zealand history
have caused a brain aneurism. I would often leave my washing till I was
and you would receive a blank stare. It is much the same reaction
down to my very last pair of underwear, you know, the pair that you never
you would get from the ordinary Kiwi battler in the street. “What’s
wear because they’re not quite as nice. Then I’d end up doing washing
a Gaza?” they ask. “Is Captain Cook a person or a job?” For the
at 2am because I realised my wardrobe had tumbleweeds and I needed
ignorant, alcoholic hillbillies that fill this great nation, John Key is ‘just
clothes for class the next day. Conquering washing is definitely first on
one of the boys.’ He’s not like Helen Clark, or those other out-of-touch academics in politics. He knows what Kiwis care about – the Rugby
the adult checklist. I thought that not freaking out about assignments would be on the list,
World Cup and… uh… a new flag… and… maybe snapper quotas?
but as a fourth year who is currently grossly behind in her thesis, I can
His approach is what we might call the TSB bank strategy (we’re not
tell you it either isn’t on the list, or I’m still stuck somewhere between incompetent first year and fully-fledged adult. Things which are definitely on the list are: knowing when to call 111 (for me it was when
“BASICALLY, KEY REPRESENTS THE NEW KIWI DREAM OF BEING EITHER A RICH DUMBASS OR A RICH DUMBASS’S WIFE.”
there was a 50+ person street brawl, thank you Old Farm Road) and quitting jobs which require more of your energy than they pay you for. Getting yourself out
like the other banks/parties. We’re bloody good Kiwi blokes. We’ll take
of potentially toxic or dangerous situations is something not even proper
you fishing in a helicopter).
adults (aka people married with children) can do, and just knowing when
Furthermore, for all you ladies out there, John Key has the added
you’re in one can be hard. Maybe the list isn’t linear, you tick them off as
value of sex appeal. With all of his millions, he’s sort of a modern-day
you experience them.
Mr Darcy. As mentioned previously, he’s not too bright, so you never
That brings me back to my brother. He texted me in the holidays “What
have to worry about having an interesting conversation with him.
do I need for B Semester?” “Your timetable.” “Where’s that? “On the
Simply point at the shoes, and hey presto! He buys them. It’s a very
website” “What website?” “…the university website” “Where on the
powerful fantasy, unlimited shoes, and it’s one of the reasons Key
website?” I’m sure you can imagine my frustration. When I was first year,
draws so many female voters. He’s also not terrible looking, unlike,
I had my timetable printed out, books colour coded and textbooks pur-
say, Cunliffe, whose face constantly seems to be sliding off his skull.
chased a week before class even started. Then again, my brother also
Perhaps the most significant aspect of Key’s persona which makes
held down a part-time job all through high school so he was able to pay off
him so popular is the fact that he never seems to get emotional.
his halls in one lump sum. I can barely handle a part time job as a fourth
Journalists, interviewers, and rival politicians can attack him relent-
year, let alone when I was at high school. Maybe we all tick off the adult
lessly over his party’s awful policies, and all he does is shrug and say
checklist in our own ways, some before others and hopefully some we
‘whatever man.’ Where Clark would angrily defend whatever crap she
won’t ever have to tick.
was trying to force onto us, Key simply gives you a dopey grin that says ‘this other person’s views are silly, and they are a silly person for having them. I can’t wait to get back to Hawaii.’ It’s a dismissive attitude that many of his countrymen share (with Hawaii being a little extra fantasy). So there you have it. Kiwis hate brains and emotion – sheep don’t have them, why should we? – and they love shoes more than poor people. Basically, Key represents the new Kiwi dream of being either a rich dumbass or a rich dumbass’s wife. Bloody good on ya mate.
34
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
SNAPPED Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Snapchat logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates at Burgerfuel. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.
35
nexus magazine
PIES AND PROSTITUTES: THE EVIL AGENDA OF APPLE CUSTARD Life of Pie The Pie Men
The Pie Men are done beating around the bush
of sick appeal to the dessert pie. In many ways they are
so let’s just put it all out there on the table; we’re
not unlike Christchurch prostitutes; the instant you see
pretty sure that ‘dessert’ pies were created with
one you want to try it but you don’t because you are
the sole purpose of further propagating the liberal
afraid someone might see you. The only difference is
vegetarian agenda. Those cunning bastards didn’t
that Christchurch prostitutes probably have more filling,
want you to eat meat like a true red blooded kiwi male,
if you know what we mean. I’m sorry if that offends
but knew you would never eat vegetables.
anybody, but it was less of an easy joke and more of
We’re unsure whether their reconnaissance infor-
a sad reality. Those dirty “rebuild dollars” can buy a lot
mation came from your mother or your grandmother,
of piss and a lot of pussy. That said, I doubt too many
but what we are sure of is the fact “fruit and spice” dessert pies have washed up in the Avon River so I
“THE CONCEPT OF THE DESSERT PIE IS ALL A BIT EFFEMINATE FOR THE PIE MEN.”
is essentially the epitome of evil genius. Is this the
Here is the thing, eating a dessert pie is kinda like
Mac’s Fourth Reich? We say yes, and it’s coming to a
having sex with two fives and suggesting it is the same
dairy near you soon.
thing as taking home a 10. Sure you might be right on
The concept of the dessert pie is all a bit effeminate
a technical level but it is against God’s will.
for the Pie Men. This is rural Waikato for God’s sake.
Having said that, of course there is one exception
Anyone who wants to eat a dessert pie can fuck off
to the rule and that exception is Jesters Pie’s William
home to whatever metropolis they came from because
Tell Apple and Custard. A pie so delicious we can only
they’re no longer welcome here as far as we’re con-
assume it was made by Cuban migrant workers daily
cerned – and the same goes for anyone who is willing
and blessed by Pope Frank himself. We would advise
to eat more than 2 veges with their meat. This kind of
you to exercise caution here though because every pie
thing might be acceptable in inner-city Wellington, but
exception comes with a condition. You should only eat
it sure as hell isn’t in the provinces.
a William Tell as a dessert. That is to say you should buy
We will be the first to admit that there is some sort
36
suppose we better count that as a difference too.
Final Solution for what could only be described as Mrs.
nexusmag.co.nz
an actual pie first because otherwise you’re dead to us.
nexus magazine
Blind Dat�
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
XX
XY
THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE
THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE
Usually I’m quite a shy girl. I.ve never really “experimented”
My game plan for the night was to get it in. I’d parked my
sexually like a lot of my friends have. No, I’m not a prude,
car round by the museum in a suitable location in case I was
I’ve had sex, it’s just it was a long time ago with a boy who I
in need of a quick ‘how’s your father’. I started the night off
thought loved me. Turned out he loved my best friend more.
by smashing a few cindy’s in the car park to take the edge
It’s been years since I had any real fun so I promised myself
off. Being the first to arrive at the table I ordered myself two
that on this blind date I would be as wild as can be.
glasses of wine and some garlic bread. When the lass finally
When first entering the Bank I was shocked at how handsome
arrived (late by the way) she had the audacity to take one of
my date was. He wasn’t a pretty boy, he was that strong mas-
my drinks. Strike one- there’s a $150 bar tab, get your own
culine type that only comes from hard labour out on the farm.
drink. She was definitely gorgeous but I think she has boy-
Looks can be deceiving though, he was a perfect sweetheart.
friend issues as she wouldn’t stop yarning in my ear about her
When I arrived he had already ordered two glasses of Riesling,
ex. Once the night got on, conversation really started to flow
now I’m not usually a wine girl preferring a goon sack over
more than OK and I could tell she was really digging me. With
crushed grapes however this wine in particular was delicious.
each drink down I was becoming even more of a smooth crim-
We got to talking and he very nearly charmed my knickers off
inal. I could tell that a blind date was out of her comfort range
right on the spot. As the tab began to run out I was getting
but I really admired the way she was handling the situation.
nervous because the date was nearly over and I desperately
We chomped through the tab quicker than wildfire, opting not
wanted it to continue. Luckily he seemed to be on the same
to get a meal and instead just drinking more alcohol. After we
page and after we were done he asked to walk me back to
were done I asked her if she’d ever seen the back of a Suzuki
the car parked beside the museum- funny because we were
Swift and to my absolute delight she said “No, but I wouldn’t
both well too drunk to drive. We started kissing and touching
mind checking one out tonight.” Long story short I got the best
by his car and I just couldn’t contain myself. We didn’t go all
gobbie of my life in the shadiest part of the car park. Thanks
the way in his back seat but let’s just say this shy girl certainly
Nexus and the Bank for assisting me in getting it in!
passed her oral exam ;). Thanks the Bank!
37
nexus magazine
SPECIAL GENERAL MEETING WAIKATO STUDENTS' UNION PRESIDENT AARON LETCHER
— The WSU is holding a Special General Meeting (SGM) and you should
driven drunk students to and from town during O’weeks with their
probably care about it, maybe. Everybody loves improving Maori rep-
stupid [insert hall name here] on the piss chants for 252 hours. If you
resentation within the WSU and throughout the campus, and even
have EVER benefitted from any of this, it’s time to pay your dues.
those that don’t probably still love free pizza and what I will describe
Get to this meeting.
as “beverages” for expediences sake. Come fill your boots with improved representation, pizza and beer “beverages”. The SGM will be held in room L.G.01 this Wednesday at 1pm. This time period is known as “cultural hour” so nobody can use the excuse “but I had class”. We have deliberately chosen to hold the meeting
tative position and how it is elected. The four options on the table are: A general election will be held and a VP Maori will be elected by all students (the status quo);
during this time so that nobody has to miss out on being involved in
An ex officio position to be filled by a representative of the Ropu;
what I hope will be historic changes and will improve our organization.
The creation of a Maori electoral role for the position;
I wouldn’t ask anyone to miss class to participate, because we are all students – and class comes first, unless it’s O’week. In order to hold this meeting we need to get at least 250 members
A new nomination criteria requiring the endorsement of an affiliated Ropu; We will also be considering:
in a room for the duration, which isn’t going to be easy. This is why I
What duties the Maori representative should have;
am here asking for your support. I know you probably all have some-
Administrative changes to modernise the constitution to fit our new
thing better to do, but this is really important. I wouldn’t be asking if
38
The primary objective of this SGM is to consider changes to Maori representation. In particular we will be looking at the Maori represen-
voluntary environment;
it wasn’t. During my time at the WSU I estimate I have given away
Minor changes to wording of some sections;
15,000 free sausages, thousands of dollars of free “stuff” and have
I’ll see you all this WEDNESDAY at 1pm in L.G.01
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
THE DEPARTMENT OF LABOUR: WHO REALLY ENFORCES NZ EMPLOYMENT LAW? MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC
SERIOUS BUDGETING SHIT
—
AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN
—
If you’re hurt, you go see a doctor. If someone breaks the law, you call the cops. But who would you go to
Every week our column presents to you some serious shit that us student support
if you’re getting paid cash in hand at the incorrect
advocates can help you with. The fast facts this week are all about budgeting tips,
rate and your boss won’t give you an Employment
making sure you have enough money and how we can help. Can you tell which of
Agreement, or holidays?
these prudish facts is stretching the truth?
The Department of Labour (DoL) would be my first port of call, but what really happens when you ring
•
SJS has a ton of jobs just waiting for students. Register now at SJS.co.nz !
•
Writing up a budget can help you see where all your money is going. Your
their “handy” 0800 number? You get through to a list of irrelevant options, unless you’re calling to report a work-related death/serious
student advocates can help with this.
harm. You then pick the option that seems most relevant to you, and get through to another list of options,
•
so you select the next best option.
Accommodation is one of the biggest expenses we face, yet the most important. Try to make sure you aren’t bound by a fixed term tenancy agreement.
And thus you get put on hold for the next available
If this is not an option, then try looking for cheaper accommodation.
operator. Eventually an available operator takes a note of your query and promises that someone will get back
•
to you as soon as they can. And you wait by the phone
The Government has announced that Ginger Society (and WSU) President Aaron Letcher will appear on the new $5 note.
for a call that never comes. I know this because I called the official DoL 0800
•
Most banks have student accounts. These accounts have lower fees and lower
number this afternoon myself to find out. I also work
transaction costs. No need to pay unnecessary fees when you don’t have to,
for an organisation that deals every day with young folk
right? Are you on one?
who have no idea who to turn to for help when they face employment injustice.
•
Many of our clients tell us they have contacted the
Watching Keeping up with the Kardashians and The Valleys aren’t necessities... therefore that Sky Television isn’t necessary. ...Things like expensive internet
DoL only to be fobbed off onto another government
plans, Sky TV, and the like may need to be cancelled if you are struggling
department or community organisation, or the problem
to make ends meet. Are all the things you’re paying for actual necessities?
is given back to the complainant to further deal with. One young lady I met was told that she needed to go
•
back to her employer and ask for the wages she had
Robots are taking over the world! (No, this isn’t a lie either). Well sort of- banking robots can make automatic payments for you when your measly flesh
been wrongly not paid.
brain forgets. No late fees and no stress, chur. Definitely consider looking into
When people reach the point of needing outside help,
automatic payments with your bank.
it is often a situation so far out of their control that they feel they’re pushing shit uphill.
•
So many, especially migrants and young people, are
Laurence secretly likes butterflies and sliding down rainbow slides into pools of lollypops.
consistently exploited for their age, their inexperience and their lack of knowledge on being employed and the law that relates to them. Here at the YWRC, we reckon someone needs to
•
Do you really need that awesome looking dress that would look super hot on you for the drinks you’re going to on Saturday night? Just because something seems like a great deal or a good idea at the time doesn’t necessarily
take responsibility for making sure everyone receives
mean you actually NEED it. Think before you sign up for something or buy
at least their minimum rights and penalising those who
something.
don’t provide them. The awesome robots at the WSU Advocacy Service can help you with your budget or any financial problems you may have. Contact: 0800 AT YWRC, ywrc@xtra.co.nz.
Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz.
39
nexus magazine
NOTICES
Free Law Advice
will be arranged for the following 7 days.
WEDNESDAY 20TH AUGUST
For more info contact Barry Butcher 855-2786 or barry.butcher.7@xtra.co.nz The WSU is holding its annual pizza lunch for
11:00AM - 1:00PM
Every Thursday from 11am - 1pm at the Waikato Student's Union in SUB. Brought to you by the WSU and Community Law Waikato. Supported by Law for Change. Email advocacy@wsu.org.nz for more information and booking.
Outward Bound WWW.OUTWARDBOUND.CO.NZ
Important Notice: Election for Board of Directors CLOSES THIS FRIDAY
Bound are providing partial scholarships to attend an Outward Bound Classic Course. The Rotary Club of Hamilton East may assist with additional funding of their nominees. This course is for 18-26 year olds and is a 21 day adventure. The scholarship awardees may attend a course at a time convenient to themselves and Outward Bound from November 2014 through to June 2015.
The lunch is a casual mixer with refreshments provided but it gives you an opportunity to discuss the support networks and opportunities the WSU offers to students with disabilities.
Workshop Postponed CLUBS@WSU.ORG.NZ
Pursuant to rule 17.1 of the constitution of the Waikato Students Union Incorporated an election is to be held for the 2015 Board of Directors. The Election will be held Monday
The J R McKenzie Youth Trust and Outward
students with disabilities in Level Zero on Wednesday the 30th of July from 12pm-1pm.
18th to Wednesday 20th August 2014. Nominations for all positions are now open and will close at 4pm on Friday 1st August 2014. Nominations can be made online at wsu. org.nz or a form can be picked up from WSU
Due to a conflict with the WSU S.G.M the “Applying for funding workshop� has been postponed. It is our intention to run the event on Wednesday August 7th at 1pm however at the time of print we have not decided on a location. If you are interested in more details please email Khayt at clubs@wsu.org.nz
reception. Any member considering standing for election is urged to obtain an information pack from the WSU prior to submitting their nomination.
Each nomination should be supported by a full CV and character reference. Other supporting documents are welcome. Course details, dates and fundraising ideas available at www.outwardbound.co.nz Applications must be with Barry Butcher no later than Friday 8th August 2014. Interviews
40
nexusmag.co.nz
Students with disabilities like pizza
Send any notices to editor@nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
CORNED BEEF (PASTRAMI) Cooking for Students Zac Lyon
Study is a war of attrition. As your assignments mount and tests loom, there are three routes you can take. The YOLO route – pretending you don’t care but deep inside you’re crapping yourself. The HOLY S*@T route – complaining to people (who don’t really care, because they are too busy crapping themselves) about your work load. And finally, the Head Down Butt Up route (that sounded a lot better in my head) - get stuck in and slay some assignments. I can assure you the third route is the best, though you’re going to need some help. Mainly in the food department. Every tried studying on an empty stomach? It’s hard, like trying to lick your elbow hard. Satisfy those hunger pangs with a very cheap meal idea, on a very underrated meat – humble corned beef. This is a slightly different way to cooking it, but it tastes amazeballs. Can go a long way – lunches the next couple of days too. Ingredients 1.5kg corned beef 2 Tbs coriander seeds crushed 2 Tbs black pepper corns crushed 1 Tbs smoked paprika 1/2 Tbs garlic powder Directions 01_ Rinse the corned beef from its preserving mixture from the packet under running water. 02_ Trim off any excess fat and give it a pat down with some paper towels to dry it as best as possible. 03_ Throw coriander seeds, pepper corns, paprika and garlic powder onto a dinner plate and mix. 04_ Roll the corned beef in the spice mixture until well coated. 05_ Roll out some aluminium foil and wrap spiced corned beef up and crimp the foil to seal. 06_ Repeat wrapping with foil two more times until sealed completely. 07_ Whack it in the oven at 115oC for 5 hours. 08_ Don’t burn your little fingies trying to unwrap the foil – let it cool for a while.
Your house will smell pretty bloody good after a while and you’ll have a very soft piece of meat with some incredible flavours. You can choose to scrape off the spice mixture if it is too hot for your tongues. Again, if you get stuck head to Cooking4Students on Youtube. Also feel free to check out what my twin brother and I will be up to in a month’s time. Visit: www.4caps.kiwi or Facebook/FourCaps – pretty cool… 41
nexus magazine
Codewords
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.
KenKen
Sequence
The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the
Which of the following fig-
upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target num-
ures is the odd one out?
ber” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5,
A
your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5) B
C
D
Syllabic
1. Island in New Brunswick, Canada: E
2. Shared by everyone in a group: From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.
3. Friend: 4. Based in evidence:
bel - bre - cam - ce - cock - com - com - den
5. Triangle with two equal sides:
- ette - ev - gal - hou - i - i - i - ion - ize - le les - lo - mu - nal - pan - po - pos - ro - shut - sil - som - sos - tial - tive - tle
F
6. Make legal: 7. Confident in opinion: 8. Used in Badminton: 9. Outline or general shape of something: 10. Mexican hat:
Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,
42
nexusmag.co.nz
HARD
MEDUIM
column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.
EASY
Sudoku
nexus magazine
Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.
Crossword
Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.
Across
40. Copious (5)
70. Used to control a
10. Callow (5)
56. Disapproval (9)
1. Sentiment (7)
42. Musical study (5)
horse (5)
11. Pillow (7)
57. Sapient (9)
4. Predominant (9)
43. Slope (7)
71. Entourage (7)
12. Alarm (5)
58. Not guilty (8)
9. Cure all (7)
44. Coconut meat (5)
72. Japanese art of paper
15. Ostler (5)
60. Dried grapes (7)
13. Short sleep (3)
45. Attain (7)
folding (7)
22. Written agreements (9)
61. Calms (7)
14. Young swans (7)
46. Angry (5)
73. Singing pair (3)
25. Expiation (9)
63. Hawaiian greeting (5)
16. Earnest (7)
47. Footwear (5)
74. Responses (7)
26. Perilous (9)
64. Spiny anteater (7)
17. Publish (5)
48. Everlasting (7)
75. Close observer (9)
28. Nominee (9)
65. Main artery (5)
18. Percussion instrument(9)
49. Snares (5)
76. Direction finder (7)
29. Spangles (7)
66. Result (5)
19. Notable display (9)
50. Larceny (5)
32. Ship’s master (7)
68. Brusque (5)
20. Live (5)
51. Hypothesis (6)
Down
34. Count (9)
21. Puzzling (9)
53. Folio (4)
1. Unpleasant (9)
35. Skidded (7)
23. Spooky (5)
55. Core (7)
2. Urge (7)
36. Court game (9)
24. Instructed (7)
59. Recount (7)
3. Origin (9)
37. Large musical group (9)
27. Units of time (7)
61. Smooth fabric (5)
4. Forestalled (9)
39. Wondrous (7)
30. Sand hill (4)
62. Provisional (9)
5. Hazards (5)
40. Astonishment (9)
31. Positioned (6)
65. Stage whisper (5)
6. Gathered together (8)
41. Line of troops (7)
33. Body of water (5)
67. Intrepid (9)
7. Affected (9)
51. Book of synonyms (9)
36. Stringed instrument (5)
69. Part of the Stone
8. Kind of syrup (7)
52. Reserve (9)
38. Angry dispute (7)
Age (9)
9. Demonstrated (9)
54. Fiscal (9)
43
nexus magazine
TOMPKINS WAKE PRESENTS
OPEN INVITATION - SATURDAY 16TH AUGUST 2014 CLAUDELANDS EVENTS CENTRE - 6:30PM TILL LATE LIMITED TICKETS FROM $85 - AFTER BALL AT THE BANK - R18
WULSA
BUY ONLINE
facebook.com/playsocialsport
44
nexusmag.co.nz
A family-friendly event for all ages free arts & crafts stalls, face painting, food, dance party and special guest performance
Family Day
Teddy Bears Picnic bring your teddy bear
SATURDAY 2ND AUGUST, 10:00AM - 1:00PM AT THE UNIREC HALL ON THE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS FREE PARKING IN GATE 1 AND GATE 2B
do you want to get paid to help organise oweek 2015? BECOME A
STUDENT DIRECTOR THE WAIKATO STUDENTS’ UNION
ELECTION Nominations Open til 1st August HELP SHAPE YOUR STUDENT EXPERIENCE here at waikato WITH CAMPUS EVENTS, GIVEAWAYS, BBQ’S AND OTHER AWESOME STUFF. to FIND OUT MORE email elections@wsu.org.nz or head to wsu.org.nz
To be eligible you need to: 1. Be a WSU member, (the form you filled out in oweek to get a goodie bag or fill out the form at wsu. org.nz). 2. Be studying next year. 3. Be nominated by 3 other students who are also members. 4. Have no criminal convictions.