Setting & Maintaining Boundaries for Peer Distributors
Boundaries are the “rules” or guidelines we set for how we interact with people, how we let people interact with us, and how we respond if people ignore or disrespect the limits we set. Setting and communicating clear boundaries helps to keep relationships healthy, and can protect your mental and physical well-being.
For people doing harm reduction work – especially peer distributors who are giving out supplies to their communities, friends, and family members – setting boundaries can help with maintaining a balance between your personal life and harm reduction work.
It can feel difficult to set boundaries in harm reduction, because the needs of others often feel urgent – whether that’s access to supplies, a safe place to use, or someone to talk to. It’s easy to put those needs ahead of your own, but consistently prioritizing everyone else’s needs over our own can lead to burnout. Burnout can make you feel exhausted, stressed, and resentful of the work or even the people we work with. So, setting boundaries isn’t selfish, and it isn’t just good for you: it’s important for the people you’re distributing to that you stay mentally healthy and are able to continue providing them with resources!
Boundaries are also a two-way street: you can’t expect someone to respect your boundaries if you don’t respect theirs.
Below are some examples of situations Peer Distributors may encounter, ways you can communicate boundaries, and alternatives you can offer people. These are just examples – your boundaries will depend on your own comfort and capacity.
1. You may want to set boundaries around the language people use and how they treat you and others when you’re distributing to them:
• “I need you to treat me and the other people I distribute to with respect. We can talk about why what you just said was disrespectful if you’d like, but if it keeps happening, I’ll need you to…”
• “...find a friend to pick up your supplies.”
• “...let me know when you’re going to pick up your supplies, so I can leave them outside in a paper bag for you.”
• “...order your own supplies from NEXT Distro; I can give you their information.”
2. If you’re distributing from your home, it helps to set boundaries around when people can come and get their supplies, so that people are not popping in all day long.
• “I want you to get the supplies you need, but I can’t have people dropping in at all times. Instead, you can…”
“... pick up your supplies between these times, on these days.”
• “... call or text me at least an hour ahead of time to let me know what you need and when you’ll come get it.”
• “... meet me at a certain place at a certain time to get your supplies.”
• “... ask me with a couple hours’ notice to drop your supplies off to you.”
“... get connected to NEXT Distro, so you can order your own supplies and don’t have to rely on me. Here is their information…”
3. If you’re distributing from your home, you may want to set boundaries around people using in your house:
• “I’m so glad you feel like this is a safe place to use and I’m somebody you can trust. I need to ask you to…”
“... let me know if you’re going to use in the bathroom so I can check in if it’s been a while.”
• “ ... not use here when my children/partner/ roommate is/are home.”
“... make sure to clean up after yourself, including putting your syringe in a sharps container when you’re done.”
• “... wait until nobody else is here to use.”
4. Or, you may not want people using in your home at all:
“While I’m glad you trust me, I’m not comfortable with you using here. I want you to be as safe as possible, so some other options you could try are…”
• “... calling a friend or someone you trust while you use, so someone can call 911 if anything happens to you.”
“...the Never Use Alone hotline. Their number is (800) 484-3731.”
• “...running the sink if you’re using in a public restroom, so someone will notice the flooding and open the door and find you if you overdose.”