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S 2015 03 05

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05 WHEN ARE GUNS OK? 12 ‘LyNcHiNG’ ON cApitOL MALL 26 SAcRAMENtO’S NOOdLE NiRvANA

Sacramento’S newS & entertainment weekly

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Volume 26, iSSue 46

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thurSday, march 5, 2015


HARRIS CENTER FOR THE ARTS PRESENTS

SOUTHERN TROUBADOURS IN THE ROUND WED 3/11

GREAT SHOWS. UP CLOSE. IN FOLSOM.

JOE ELY, RUTHIE FOSTER & PAUL THORN

JUST ADDED! A COMMON PULSE SAN JOSE TAIKO X THE BANGERZ, IN CONCERT SAT 3/14

ALTAN THU 3/26

RICKIE LEE JONES SUN 5/3

PETER YARROW & NOEL PAUL STOOKEY

CELEBRATING 50 YEARS OF PETER, PAUL AND MARY

SUN 6/21

THE PINK FLOYD EXPERIENCE 4 SIDES OF FLOYD MON 3/30 – TUE 3/31

LUKAS NELSON & PROMISE OF THE REAL FRI 4/10

“WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC THE MANDATORY TOUR

SUN 8/30 & MON 8/31

BRUCE HORNSBY MON 4/13 2

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916-608-6888 HarrisCenter.net


March 5, 2015 | vol. 26, issue 46

Right this wrong “Did somebody invent a flux capacitor? Is Ronald Reagan president?” That approximates my level of incredulity last year when a friend told me that California’s embarrassing “welfare queen” law was still on the books. I just couldn’t believe it. Yet it’s real: If a California family is receiving public assistance but brings an additional child into their household, the 21-year-old law punishes them and they’re denied more aid. Current state Republican party chairman Jim Brulte introduced this policy back in 1994, when he was in the Assembly, and it was ushered through the Capitol by Gov. Pete Wilson and the Reagan Nation contingent. Their argument was that poor women were having kids so they could get more cash from Uncle Sam. Right. We’re talking about $130 month. If you have a kid, you understand that that kind of cash doesn’t go far. But an extra $130 helps. Which is why it’s a travesty that, in year 2015, this law persists and each year prevents nearly 150,000 children and their low-income families from receiving extra help. Last year, state Sen. Holly Mitchell tried to get rid of the bogus policy, but her attempt was shelved because of budget concerns. This year, she’s at it again with Senate Bill 23. Her supporters includes strange bedfellows like Planned Parenthood and the California Catholic Alliance. (Even the church gets that this law makes zero sense!) Lawmakers remain uncertain, though. They point out that the program, if passed, would cost some $220 million a year. And they say this money could be better spent on things like job training or child care. That may be true. But isn’t it time to right a decades-old wrong, one that unfairly discriminates against poor moms and families? Isn’t this about doing the right thing, no matter the cost?

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Our Mission To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live. Co-editors Rachel Leibrock, Nick Miller Staff Writers Janelle Bitker, Raheem F. Hosseini Assistant Editor Anthony Siino Entertainment Editor Jonathan Mendick Editorial Coordinator Becca Costello Contributing Editor Cosmo Garvin Editor-at-large Melinda Welsh Contributors Ngaio Bealum, Daniel Barnes, Rob Brezsny, Jim Carnes, Cody Drabble, Deena Drewis, Joey Garcia, Blake Gillespie, Becky Grunewald, Lovelle Harris, Jeff Hudson, Jim Lane,

Chief Marketing Officer Rick Brown Advertising Manager Corey Gerhard Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Joy Webber, Kelsi White Advertising Consultants Joseph Barcelon, Meghan Bingen, Lee Craft, Teri Gorman, Dusty Hamilton, Dave Nettles, Matt Richter, Lee Roberts, Julie Sherry Senior Inside Sales Consultant Olla Ubay Sales Assistant Matt Kjar Director of Et Cetera Will Niespodzinski Custom Publications Editor Michelle Carl

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OPINION SCOREKEEPER + bites NEWS FEATuRE STORy ARTS&CuLTuRE NIgHT&DAy DISH STAgE FILM MuSIC + sound Advice ASK JOEy THE 420 15 MINuTES COVER dEsign BY HAYLEY dOsHAY COVER pHOtO BY KEVin CORtOpAssi

25 Custom Publications Managing Editor Shannon Springmeyer Custom Publications Writer/Copy Editor Mike Blount Custom Publications Writer Brittany Wesely Executive Coordinator Jessica Takehara Director of First Impressions David Lindsay Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Daniel Bowen, Russell Brown, Nina Castro, Jack Clifford, Lydia Comer, John Cunningham, Lob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Joanna Gonzalez-Brown, Aaron Harvey, Wayne Hopkins, Brenda Hundley, Greg Meyers, Kenneth Powell, Wendell Powell, Lloyd Rongley, Lolu Sholotan

Garrett McCord, Kel Munger, Kate Paloy, Patti Roberts, Ann Martin Rolke, Shoka Creative Director Priscilla Garcia Art Director Hayley Doshay Junior Art Director Brian Breneman Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Designers Melissa Bernard, Brad Coates, Kyle Shine Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Steven Chea, Evan Duran, Wes Davis, Luke Fitz, Taras Garcia, Michael Miller, Bobby Mull, Shoka, Darin Smith, Lauran Worthy

STREETALK

President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Chief Operations Officer Deborah Redmond Human Resources Manager Tanja Poley Business Manager Grant Rosenquist Accounting Specialist Nicole Jackson Accounts Receivable Specialist Kortnee Angel Sweetdeals Coordinator Courtney DeShields Nuts & Bolts Ninja Christina Wukmir Lead Technology Synthesist Jonathan Schultz Senior Support Tech Joe Kakacek

Developer John Bisignano System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins 1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95815 Phone (916) 498-1234 Sales Fax (916) 498-7910 Editorial Fax (916) 498-7920 Website www.newsreview.com SN&R is printed by The Paradise Post using recycled newsprint whenever available. Editorial Policies Opinions expressed in SN&R are those of the authors and not of Chico Community Publishing, Inc. Contact the editor for permission to reprint articles, cartoons or other portions of the paper. SN&R is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts. All letters received become the property of the publisher. We reserve the right to print letters in condensed form and to edit them for libel. Advertising Policies All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

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“They should have to conceal the gun with a proper holster.”

Asked outside the Tower Theatre in Land Park:

When is it OK to carry a gun?

Elizabeth Ekpo

Michael Parkin

Thomas Navarrete

physician

actor

Law enforcement should be able to carry guns because they are enforcing the law. It is dangerous when you get people like teenagers or just regular people running around with a gun. I have never shot or carried one. There are situations when it is OK to have a gun, but I have never been in those situations.

Adrianna Davis

retail

If [gun owners] have had a proper background check by the person selling them the gun. They should have to carry a permit with them at all times. They should have to conceal the gun with a proper holster. At least in my mind, I think they should have to have been given the proper training.

Cheryl Jacobucci

cashier

No. It is not OK to carry a gun, never in public. It is OK in the home for protection. I have never shot a gun, personally. It is something I would teach my children for protection if I had to, but I would never teach them to have it outside.

Katie Hansen

medical billing specialist

I wouldn’t ever carry a gun. It’s not me. I have never shot a gun. I feel like people abuse them. I guess there are certain situations when it is OK, but me personally, I wouldn’t. There is another way to handle situations, like call the police.

student

If you are a legal owner and have a license to carry it, and if you have been trained to use it ... carrying it for self-defense is fine. Just Joe Schmoe off the street who hasn’t ever owned one before shouldn’t have one. I have not shot one, but I do own one.

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Time for Natomas We know that the sculpture in front of the new Kings arena stands a good chance of being a Jeff Koons piece, and therefore a landmark worthy of substantial bragging. And we know where the hotels are going, and that pumps had to be added, because if you dig a hole in Sacramento, sooner or later it will be filled with rainwater (who knew?). But we still don’t know what’s going to happen to Sleep Train Arena, or to the large tract of land around it in Natomas—made even larger by the “sweetening” of city land thrown in to make the deal pencil out for investors. It can’t be used as an arena—there’s a non-compete clause and, besides, it’s old. And that pesky building moratorium in Natomas, because of flood risk, has slowed things down a great deal. But once again, we’re being asked to “trust” that the land will be used, and used well—and, of course, that it will make money for the investors who are keeping the Kings in Sacramento. We like the Kings. Basketball is fun, and rooting for the home team makes it more fun. But no matter how much fun we’re having, there are these nagging details: city land turned over to private investors; a known flood risk; lots of discussion about colleges and hospitals, but no guarantees. And there’s that really annoying “trust us” attitude. Of all the things the late President Ronald Reagan ever said, there’s one we actually like: “Trust, but verify.” City council should demand a more specific and fast-tracked plan for the development of the former arena site. It is possible—even for developers—to do more than one thing at a time. Basketball players do it all the time. Let’s get moving. Natomas deserves it. Ω

Free beer This editorial is not about IPA on the house. It’s about making a small tweak to Sacramento’s alcoholpermitting process that will help out local businesses, including the region’s brewery scene. It’s Sacramento Beer Week, through this Sunday, a time to celebrate locally made craft beer. But there’s a tear in Sacramento’s beer: Local businesses can’t sell single bottles of craft beer in many neighborhoods, including the central city. Why? There’s an old policy It’s time to stop that prohibits the sale of singles in neighborhoods like Midtown putting Sacramento and downtown. When this law breweries at was implemented, breweries did a competitive not sell their product in 22-ounce “bomber” bottles like they do disadvantage. today. In year 2015, however, that size bottle is industry standard. This means a local brewery can’t sell its single beers at stores like the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op, BevMo! or the forthcoming Whole Foods Market. It’s time to stop putting Sacramento breweries at a competitive disadvantage. We urge city council and staff to work with law enforcement, neighborhood leaders and brewers to come up with a solution to fix Sacramento’s “singles rule.” Sacramento could be a landmark brewery city, like Portland and San Diego. But if we keep this law, we could also be a place where breweries can’t make a profit—and go out of business. Ω


R E P U SLOW RATES. R E P SU

Ban hip-hop Re “Hip-hop under fire” by Raheem F. Hosseini (SN&R News, February 26): I attended a concert at Harlow’s several weeks back by a classic-rock guitarist and, as I recall, when the show was over and I stood outside waiting for my ride for half an hour, I was not subjected to any letter of gunfire by a drug-and-alcohol-crazy crowd that just exthe week ited a hip-hop show. I am sorry, but I have no sympathy if city council were to ban these types of shows from Midtown concert venues altogether. When the city is trying to revitalize the downtown area, let this type of garbage go back underground where it belongs, because every time these venues puts on one of these shows, they run the risk of gang violence and someone being killed, and the club ultimately losing its license. Mike Stinson

S ac ra m ento

Self-loathing white people?

. E C I V R E S L U POWERF

and indulge in criminality under color of law. We need the repeal of laws that give police authority without accountability. I don’t understand what is so radical about expecting government employees to obey the law. Richard Wales Penryn

Re “The privilege problem” by Rachel Leibrock (SN&R Editor’s Note, February 26): Couldn’t this just as easily been entitled “The White Problem”? I don’t know what race the writer is, but this white American woman would like to know: Why the pejorative connotation to that particular online buzz hue of skin? Are you a non-white who dislikes whites, or are you On the new Jeff KOOnS Sculpture at just self-loathing? As for Patricia the future KingS arena dOwntOwn: Arquette’s alleged “privilege,” she has been one of the hardest-working Way to go Sacramento. actors in Hollywood for decades. This is why you can’t Nothing has come easy for her. She have nice things. is excellent and I can assure you that Brian Crouch many times she has been paid less v i a fac e bo o k for the same work as male counterparts. Good for her. Factory made art, there are copChristine Craft ies of these all over the world it’s Sacramento not an original piece. I would bet

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And the B Street Theatre just needs $3million to build a nonprofit children’s theatre. Instead, someone spent double on a single statue. Garrett McCord

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Email your letters to sactoletters@ newsreview.com.

Local Area Offices:

Online Buzz contributions are not edited for grammar, spelling or clarity.

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v i a fac e bo o k Yea yea yea you guys wont be bitching once it brings your favorite bands/comedians/teams and everything else to the new arena

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Re “How to build a perfect cop” by Raheem F. Hosseini (SN&R Feature Story, February 19): A perfect cop? Francine Tournour takes a ride with a cop who is the poster cop for everything that’s wrong with American cops. Then, a series of Band-Aids are suggested. The problem with American cops is that there are too many laws that give them power but no accountability. I find it amazing that with all of the people murdered by cops in this country—including children—nobody mentions that cops kill at will because state law in every state says that if a cop kills someone and claims that he or she was in fear for his or her life, the cop cannot be prosecuted. The way to build a “perfect cop” is not to keep the same corrupt system and encourage a diverse group of people to join the party

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Savings without the sacrifice.

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v i a fac e bo o k it’s a perfect metaphor for sacramento---it wastes a bunch of money for something that is crap, the people who spent the money don’t care what you think, and your stuck with it while the big shots laugh at you.

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Ron Hill

v i a fac e bo o k

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NImBy Award Contest Sacramento News & Review is seeking entries for the first-ever Not In My Back Yard awards contest—the NIMBYs!

Some cynics might say Not In My Back Yard (NIMBY) lawsuits, often based

But so what? We believe the time has come not to disparage

on the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA),

NIMBY suits as self-serving, time-wasting, frivolous complaints,

have distorted the Legislature’s original intent and

but to celebrate these creative and bold legal assertions,

manipulated our legal system and planning and zoning

courageously brought forward under tenuous environmental

process. Those same cynics might even suggest NIMBY

pretense, without fear or much foundation, simply to stop a

lawsuits have created delays in worthy projects and driven up construction costs in California, negatively impacting many praiseworthy projects, such as lowincome housing and mental health facilities.

worthwhile project dead in its tracks. It’s time to honor the heroes of NIMBY litigation. Think we’re joking? Think this might be some satirical send-up? How would you ever get such an idea?

THE AWARDS: To honor our NIMBY warriors, we need help from SN&R readers. Who do you think best embodies the “Let’s sue ‘em!” spirit of Not In My Back Yard litigation? Please include a case number (or better yet, bring the whole file!) to validate your entries in the following four special categories: 1. Big Switcheroo: Here’s where the nominee files an environmental lawsuit to win some unrelated concession, which—get this—has absolutely no connection with the environment! Extra points will be awarded for the speed with which the lawsuit is dropped once concession is granted. 2. Lifetime Achievement: This honor will go to the individual who has made a very good living by filing numerous NIMBY lawsuits, all of which coincidentally disappear after a financial agreement has been reached (without anyone admitting any responsibility for anything). 3. Sticky Sandcastle: Here’s an award for the plaintiff who makes an unfathomable legal argument that’s inevitably washed away by the tides of justice, but not before it’s gummed up a project for a year or two and devoured many thousands of dollars in legal fees. 4. Intended Consequence: This award goes to an individual who, amazingly enough, used the NIMBY process to accomplish something that really was in the public interest.

HOW TO NOMINATE: Complete nomination instructions can be found at www.newsreview.com/nimby . The deadline for nominations is Thursday, March 19 at 5 p.m. WINNERS: The winners will be announced in the April 23 issue of SN&R in an eight-page special publication. It will include short stories about the winning lawsuits, information on the economic impact of NIMBY lawsuits and suggestions for possible reforms. This is a project of the Custom Publications division of the News & Review. The goal is to bring positive attention to the impact of NIMBY lawsuits. DISCLAIMER: For what it’s worth, we at the News & Review and/or the sponsors of the contest are not and would never imply, suggest, or even hint that NIMBY heroes are doing anything illegal or immoral. The contest’s goal is to demonstrate the opposite—to celebrate wonders of legislative intent and creative environmental litigation in the Golden State.

SpoNSorEd CoNTENT froM THE CuSToM puBLICATIoNS dIvISIoN of NEWS & rEvIEWW

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Wizard behind the curtain

ALL

W NE

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W HO

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Meet the new head of the Sacramento Metro Chamber

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THINK FREE.

Sports analogies. War analogies. Warren Buffet analogies. There’s a treasure chest of analogies that CEOs use to describe their strategies. Over the years, I thought I had heard them all. But then, over breakfast last week at Fox & Goose, the new Sacramento Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce president and CEO, Peter Tateishi, used a Wizard of Oz analogy to describe how he wants to lead our region’s largest business organization. He wants to be the guy behind the curtain that gets stuff done. Somebody else can have their face on the big l screen. by Jeff VonKaene And since Tateishi took over the chamber’s reins j ef f v@n ewsreview.c om in mid-January, there has been a lot going on behind the curtain. Nearly all of the Chamber’s executive team who worked under Roger Niello, the previous CEO, have left. The Wizard has to replace the wheels while driving the bus down the road. Not an easy task. And especially because, according to Tateishi, it’s not just the wheels on the bus that are having problems. During the recession, the Chamber, along with many other metro chambers, lost members. Businesses struggling to make payroll cut Chamber dues out Tateishi told me that he of their budget. As a result, the Chamber had to focus on signdoes not think the way ing up new members. But 60 to improve the business percent of these new members not renew their memberclimate is to elect more did ships. One of Tateishi’s goals Republicans. is to improve the Chamber’s customer service. Tateishi also plans to move the Chamber away from partisan politics. During the three years that Niello served as head, the organization took a very active role in electoral politics—supporting the arena, Kevin Johnson’s strong-mayor initiative and Republican Doug Ose’s bid for Congress. Tateishi told me that simply electing Republicans won’t solve the region’s business problems. Instead, he believes the Chamber should focus on changing policies rather than on electing politicians. When asked which policies, he suggested that we need to reduce burdensome red tape, adopt best practices and try to streamline processes across as many different local government agencies as possible. He also expects the Chamber to actively oppose the idea of increasing the minimum wage to $15 an hour within the city of Sacramento. Many businesses in the city think it would be hard to compete if they were required to pay Jeff vonKaenel their employees $5 more per hour than their competitor, is the president, especially when that competitor is just a few miles away in CEO and the county. Or in some cases, just across the street. majority owner of He also anticipates that the Chamber will be an active the News & Review newspapers in player in supporting economic development, particularly Sacramento, in the manufacturing, food preparation and construction Chico and Reno. sectors. These jobs tend to pay significantly more than retail jobs. Sacramento needs a strong Chamber, where business and community leaders, regardless of their political affiliation, can work together to improve the region. After speaking with Tateshi, I realized that there’s going to be just as much to do behind the curtain as out in front. Ω

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Freedom Fighters

Hugh Masekela and Vusi Mahlasela 20 Years of Freedom TUE, MAR 10 • 8PM

Two musical icons—legendary South African jazz trumpeter Hugh Masekela and vocalist Vusi Mahlasela (known as “The Voice” in his homeland)—join together to celebrate 20 years of freedom from apartheid and the legacy of Nelson Mandela.

VOTE NOW!

Presenting the best in music, dance and speakers

Anonymous 4 1865 (with Bruce Molsky)

FRI, MAR 6 • 8PM

A program of traditional songs from both sides of the Civil War, with Bruce Molsky on fiddle.

by SN&R staff

SCORE KEEPER Sacramento’s winners and losers—with arbitrary points

Another fatal encounter

Keep on trucking

A Los Angeles police officer fired  at and killed a homeless man this  past Sunday in downtown’s skid  row neighborhood. Bystanders  captured the shooting on video; it  shows officers struggling with an  unarmed man, and then one cop  shoots the man five times while he  is lying on the ground. Scorekeeper  wonders if law enforcement is even  listening to complaints about use of  lethal force.

Sacramento is again going to have  another look at tweaking its foodtruck ordinance. This time, the city’s  Law and Legislation Committee will  discuss food-truck rules on March 10.  It’s uncertain, though, whether  anything will come of this meeting;  there have been many before, and  food trucks remain banned after  certain hours, and near certain  areas. Meanwhile, these same  trucks thrive in other regional  municipalities.

- 187 Binge responsibly

If you expect to be tanked on St. Patrick’s Day and are too broke to cough  up Uber fare, get yourself a free cab instead. Yellow Cab of Sacramento will  provide free rides home from 10 p.m., March 17, to 4 a.m., March 18. Some  catches: The ride has to be worth $35 or less, there’s no guarantee everyone  who calls will get a cab, and no, you  can’t be driven to another bar. You  illustratio n by hayley doshay also have to tell the cab company that  the ride is on Berg Injury Lawyers,  speakeasy-style, since that’s who’s  subsidizing your binge drinking.

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HIRED

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Ferguson justice

Food blogger Cowtown  Eats reported that  Sacramento Bee food  critic Blair Anthony  Robertson is now the  former food critic.  This is a bummer, and  Scorekeeper will miss  his scoops, humor  and smart critiques.  (Even though we’ll  never forgive BAR for  telling the world about  Chando’s. That line!)

The U.S. Justice Department  says law enforcement, jails  and judges in Ferguson, Mo.,  discriminate against black  people. A report zeroes  in on how black residents  are more likely to be pulled  over by police. Also, judges  are more likely to dismiss  a white resident’s case  than a black resident’s.  Darren Wilson may not face  charges, but this federal  report is at least a form of  justice.

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Steve Hansen fights to bring an  elementary school back to the grid Just when Steve Hansen got elected to the Sacramento City Council, his central-city district was dealt a major blow. In early 2013, the Sacramento City Unified School District decided to close Washington Elementary School, at the corner of 18th and E streets, in order to cut costs. The savings were minimal, the school district’s process for closing Washington and arVin six other elementary schools was a joke. by CoSMo G And Hansen knew then what more people cosmog@ newsrev iew.c om are now beginning to realize. “Washington Elementary should not have been closed,” he says. “The central city deserves to have an elementary school.” But, as a brand-new city councilman, he had no say over the actions of the Sacramento City Unified school board, an entirely different set of politicians, with their own turf and their own egos. The makeup of the school board has since changed, and there’s a new, more collaborative superintendent in place. And predictably enough, state funding for schools has rebounded. And for the last two years, Hansen has been agitating behind the scenes to re-open Washington Elementary. His efforts are paying off. If successful, the plan will be a boost for the part of the city that Hansen represents. But it will also show there’s a better way for dealing with falling enrollment and other challenges facing city schools. Hansen is a cheerleader for grid living— streetcars, housing, arenas, the more amenities the better. While the census tracts around Washington Elementary have about the same population they did when the school was built in 1976, school enrollment has declined for the past 20 years. “It’s a chicken-and-egg problem,” says Hansen. “We have a hard time attracting families to the central city without good schools. But the school district says we don’t have the families, so we can’t have the school.” The area is represented on the school board by Jay Hansen, no relation to Steve. Jay voted to close Washington and the other schools, and he still thinks the student population is currently too low to support a neighborhood school at Washington. Nevertheless, Jay Hansen is now working with Steve Hansen, along with the Sacramento City Teachers Association, to re-open the school. Partly, that’s because new housing development in and around the core—McKinley Village for example—will eventually boost the school-age population. And nearby schools like William Land Elementary and Theodore Judah are running out of room. Jay Hansen notes that’s partly because William Land is a “destination school” with BEFORE

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The effort to re-open Washington is a good example of the challenge facing the city’s schools: how to constructively counter falling enrollment, and the flight of families to charter schools and suburban districts. Until now, the district’s answer has been to slash and burn and shutter schools. There are more creative and more equitable solutions. Bites is not crazy about the idea that any neighborhood school has to remake itself as a boutique school in order to survive. But it beats sitting empty, or being parceled out to charterschool operators.

“The central city deserves to have an elementary school.” Councilman Steve Hansen

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And while the central city certainly does deserve an elementary school, so do the south Sacramento neighborhoods that lost theirs. Why is Washington the only closed school with a city council person fighting to bring it back? Parents at Joseph Bonnheim Elementary in south Sacramento did manage to bring back their school as a dependent charter, at the beginning of this school year. It wasn’t easy, and the district fought them at first. Steve Hansen wants to see Washington re-opened in fall of 2015. That would be a fast turnaround. And district officials, along with board member Jay Hansen, say it’s unlikely Washington could re-open before the 2016-17 school year. But Councilman Hansen says “nothing focuses the mind like a deadline.” He worries that otherwise the school will be back-burnered. “I don’t want to get into a situation where it’s another year, then another year.” If Washington does re-open, it will show that we don’t have to throw away city schools with declining enrollment. With some creative thinking and collaboration, they can be part of a better future for the neighborhoods around them. That’s worth remembering next time, before we start closing schools. Ω   |    A R T S & C U L T U R E

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a popular Mandarin immersion program that draws students from outside its attendance area. If Washington is to re-open, he says, it ought to be “a neighborhood school with a strand of something special,” like Spanish immersion or an arts program. That might entice some downtown state workers to drop off their kids on the way in to the office. Hansen and Hansen and company are holding a public meeting at Washington on March 12, starting at 6:30 p.m., to solicit community input about re-opening it. They are billing it as a “Request for Ideas.”

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‘A revenge case’? Was last week’s Maile Hampton arrest retaliation against the Black Lives Matter movement? Maile Hampton, a black 20-year-old woman and political activist, was arrested last week on charges of felony “lynching” in by what fellow activists say is a case of police retaliation. Nick Miller Police arrived at Hampton’s mother’s home in north Sacramento on Monday, February 23, at 8:55 p.m., when ni ckam@ news r evie w.c om Hampton was arrested for misdemeanor obstruction of justice and attempting to remove an individual from police custody, otherwise known as “lynching” under state law. The charges against Hampton date back a protest near the state Capitol on Sunday, January 18. That day, there was a pro-law-enforcement rally taking place on the Capitol’s west steps, and Hampton and fellow activists with ANSWER Sacramento—an anti-war, anti-racism group— showed up to counter-protest. Their action was part of the Black Lives Matter movement. On that day, Hampton allegedly interfered as a police officer tried to detain an individual on Ninth Street. Sources say the case against Hampton stems from a YouTube video titled “Sacramento PD illegally shuts down street for pro cop rally attack protestors.” At the 0:06 mark in this video, a city police officer is seen holding a man, presumably a protestor, in the street. Soon, Hampton appears in the video, to the officer’s right. She’s holding a megaphone and a yellow sign, yelling at the cop. At the 0:12 mark, she grabs an individual The “lynching” who is also being held by the police. Seconds later, she runs off. charge is a felony Hampton is the only person facing charges so far. Charges against the indipunishable by up to viduals arrested that day were dropped. four years in prison. Sacramento police spokesman Doug Morse wrote in a text message that “several protesters blocked traffic on Capitol Mall and when officers attempted to detain, cite, and ultimately release for Impeding traffics, some protesters resisted and [Hampton] pulled prisoners from police’s custody.” The “lynching” charge is a felony punishable by up to four years in prison. After Hampton’s arrest this past Monday night, she was held in county jail for $100,000 bail, but was released on Tuesday around 10:30 p.m. She is scheduled to be arraigned in court on March 16. Just before her release, nearly two dozen activists spoke out on her behalf at a city council meeting. They pleaded that Mayor Kevin Johnson “Free Maile.” Estevan Hernandez, an activist with ANSWER Sacramento, says Hampton has been involved with the group since this past summer. “It’s totally trumped-up charges, it’s a grave exaggeration. What this is really about … it’s a revenge case,” he said of Hampton’s case. Johnson sympathized with Hampton and her supporters at last week’s meeting. He said that he knew Hampton and that she was “doing good” in the community. He also said that the speakers’ voices were heard. On Twitter the next day, he criticized the state’s “lynching” law. “During public comments last night I was shocked to learn, in CA removing someone from police custody is defined as ‘lynching.’ … The word ‘lynching’ has a long and painful history in our nation. It’s time to remove its use in CA Law.” Ω 12

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Green thumbs up New city law would allow urban farming and possibly transform vacant lots into community gardens Kau Vue’s parents have always grown their own fruits and vegetables, whether they lived in a house or even an apartment. Farming is a part of Hmong culture, Vue says, and provides “exerby cise and extra little income now and then.” His Jordan Venema parents, who live in Rio Linda, sell at farmers markets, although their travel expenses sometimes negate any profit. But on March 17, city council will vote on a new ordinance that would allow the Vue family to sell their produce right in front of their home. The Urban Agriculture Ordinance will make it easier for farmers in the city to get their produce on to community tables. As Matt Read with the Sacramento Urban Agriculture Coalition explained, the ordinance will “allow urban agriculture in all its forms.” Read hopes this will encourage new economic opportunities for urban farmers while also improving individual health, as well as potentially transforming urban landscapes. The new law also would repurpose residential and commercial lots to allow for urban-agricultural practices and the sale of produce at temporary agriculture stands. As the law exists now, Sacramentans can grow produce but can’t sell it to restaurants, or even to neighbors. Effectively, the city prohibits the distribution of its freshest, most local produce. The law also disallows farming on unsanctioned urban lots. This is why more than 30 community groups formed the Urban Agriculture Coalition in 2013, according to Read. Their goal was to advocate for better access to healthy foods. And, since May, SUAC—comprised of educators, environmentalists, food producers, health and housing advocates—has worked closely with city-directed staff to create an exhaustive 300-plus-page ordinance. Read believes the new law will allow people to get into farming by reducing the cost of entry. Sacramentans who can’t afford to purchase a 100-acre agricultural zone can sell what they grow from their home. But SUAC member Paul Trudeau believes “the biggest transformation will be seeing vacant lots, which are trash magnets anyway, become gardens.” SUAC is also currently preparing a separate county ordinance that will offer tax incentives to use residential and commercial lots for agricultural purposes, such as community gardens. Landowners who enter a five-year contract with the city to use property for agricultural purposes will be taxed at a reduced rate.

Sacramento Urban Agriculture Coalition member Paul Trudeau hopes that the city’s new rules will mean less blighted empty lots and more community or urban gardens.

Trudeau believes this incentive also “could have the effect of bringing pesticide use down,” since it would require landowners to comply with state regulation of pesticides. Simply put, he says the tax incentive gives landowners a reason to rent out their vacant lots, while the Urban Agriculture Ordinance, which allows the on-site sale of produce, offers residents a reason to farm them. Sure, non-permitted forms of urban agriculture already exist, and often city rules go unenforced. Code enforcement can’t knock on every door to discover who’s selling persimmons on the sly. Trudeau acknowledges that not-up-to-code farming happens often, even openly. But that doesn’t mean lawlessness runs amok in community gardens—some folks just sell what they grow where they grow it. “This ordinance will just make the law in compliance with reality,” he explained. But Read pointed out that a lot of growers don’t expand their business because of the existing laws. “For a lot of farmers, violating zoning codes keeps them from growing their business,” he said. “They can’t get insurance and, technically, they shouldn’t be able to get a business license.”


photo by steven chea

BEATS

Bridge to somewhere West Sacramento’s experimental “housing first” method of addressing the large homeless encampment along the North Levee has come to an end. And just in time. The West Sacramento City Council voted February 18 to purchase and prepare the Old Town Inn for development. Program participants had been temporarily housed at the inn while they were matched to local resources and awaited housing vouchers as part of the city’s Bridge to Housing pilot program. Residents had until 5 p.m. Friday to vacate the property at 826 West Capitol Avenue. There’s been some rough going these past few months, with a wicked bedbug and cockroach infestation, and even a suicide on campus. Steve Kruse, who had worked as manager of the property, said he called police to prevent individuals who weren’t part of the program from coming onto the property and stirring up trouble. That increased police presence meant some residents got popped for outstanding warrants when they stepped out of line otherwise. Of the original 63 participants, 14 left the program due to criminal or behavioral issues, according to Yolo County spokeswoman Beth Gabor, and several more didn’t have all their proverbial ducks in a row in order to get their vouchers before the program ended February 27. All totaled, 38 people are getting housing vouchers, which was the goal. Most have health insurance and CalFresh, and a few even have steady employment. The program was initially set to run 90 days with a possible 30-day extension. Residents packed their belongings into bike trailers and moved themselves out on day 109. “It’s been hell,” said participant Evelyn Lamb, “but if I get into a place, it’s definitely going to be worth it.” (Brooke Purves)

This big piggy Trudeau is one example of an urban agriculturalist slipping between the cracks. He operates an aquaponics business from his home, and sells directly to a single restaurant—an activity technically not permitted by city code. And yet the city not only gave Trudeau a business license, they’ve also renewed it yearly. “If you interpret the zoning code, agriculture isn’t allowed in residential areas, but the zoning codes don’t exactly conform to what I’m doing,” Trudeau said. Still, he admitted that he was surprised when the city approved his application for a business license. Under the proposed Urban Agriculture Ordinance, all residential farmers will have the opportunity to sell what they grow. Temporary agricultural stands are the heart of SUAC’s proposed new rules. These will allow urban farmers to sell produce on-site at their gardens between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m., after which the stands must be dismantled. Some council members have expressed concerns that temporary stands will become a civic blight. But according to Read, other cities have passed similar ordinances and “their experience has borne out that these [stands] don’t become nuisances.”

Councilman Allen Warren, who represents the Vue family’s north Sacramento district, home to a large constituent of the Hmong community, traveled with constituents earlier this year to Southeast Asia, where he saw “firsthand the role these markets play,” he said.

“ The biggest transformation will be seeing vacant lots, which are trash magnets anyway, become gardens.” Paul Trudeau urban farmer Warren believes the ordinance will benefit his district, a designated food desert, by keeping food local. “It’s a healthy practice to manage and nurture agriculture and farming and to have fresh fruit and vegetables accessible in our community so folks don’t have to drive to buy groceries,” Warren said. He and others say the ag stands create some issues, but shouldn’t be a problem.

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“There needs to be minimum standards, because you’re putting people in business who have never been in business.” For instance, if somebody slips at a stand, “is that a city liability or a homeowner liability?” he asked. Councilman Jay Schenirer’s chief of staff, Joseph Devlin, understands concerns about potential blight and regulation. But he believes something like a downloadable PDF, “something easy to obtain and something that isn’t a big administrative headache,” will be an easy regulatory and education solution. Devlin said there’s a deeper concern to communities than whether or not food stands potentially create blight. “Food deserts, lack of economic opportunity … lack of access to healthy foods—the opportunities [of the ordinance] outweigh the fears,” he said. If council approves the ordinance next week, it will go into effect 30 days later. After that, the next step for Read and SUAC is to inform the community how the ordinance works. Read says that unless the community knows how the ordinance benefits them, it’s only words on paper. Ω

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The Sacramento Kings introduced its newest teammate last week: Piglet. An 18-foot-tall sculpture inspired by the Winnie The Pooh character is set to be purchased and installed outside the new Kings arena, to the tune of $8 million. The artwork is by Jeff Koons, widely considered one of the 20th century’s foremost artists. Funds from four Kings investors will pay for the piece, and an additional $1.5 million has been set aside to purchase local artwork near the arena site. City council was poised to approve the Koons installation this Tuesday. The sculpture is part of a larger series titled “Coloring Book,” and will make Sacramento the only city in the world to purchase a Koons piece for permanent display. Sources told SN&R that the selected Koons’ work was not terribly controversial in the local arts scene despite the artist’s Warholian approach to art production. (Nick Miller)

Buzzed cuts Booze and haircuts have operated hand-in-hand in Sacramento’s hippest shops for the past few years. If you have to wait in line, you help yourself to a cold one. But is the gesture even legal? Assemblyman Tom Daly, an Anaheim Democrat, introduced a bill Monday that would officially allow barbershops and beauty salons to serve alcoholic beverages, as long as there’s no charge. Assembly Bill 1322 would place salons in the same category as limousine and hot air balloon companies, with no license or permit necessary from the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. Cheers to that, and all future poor hairstyle decisions. (Janelle Bitker)

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One writer’s journey through Ayurveda, meditation and the study of poop

PhOtOs by kevin cOrtOPAssi

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Never have I ever thought so much about my poop. At my first alternative health appointment, in fact, my poop becomes a very important topic of discussion. Size? Color? Shape? How often? Does it float? Or sink? Can I see food particles? Oh, it’s brown? What shade of brown? Let me back up. I have chronic digestive problems. I’m also 23—too young for chronic digestive problems. For the past year, I’ve been experiencing bouts of burning indigestion and very sudden heavy discomfort. It doesn’t happen every day, or even every week, or even every month, but just often enough that my family and friends started to worry. There was a week of brutal constipation and cramps around the holidays. An ulcer, maybe? At 23? In January, I decided to be proactive about my health—a new year, a new leaf, right?—but resisted seeing medical doctors. I assumed they’d just prescribe pills, and if it was possible to find a more natural way to soothe my stomach, I wanted to explore it. The world of alternative and complementary medicine holds some heft—according to the 2012 National Health Interview Survey, 33.2 percent of Americans use some form of it. And according to the 2007 survey, American spent $33.9 billion out-of-pocket on alternative health products in one year. Somewhat at random, I chose Revive Ayurveda, an Auburn-based practice of the ancient Indian medicine. While Ayurveda isn’t the most prominent form


of alternative medicine, it’s recently garnered a buzz in Sacramento. Especially in yoga circles—that’s where I first heard about it. For one month, I followed the strictest diet of my life. I gave up coffee, meat, cheese, bread, desserts and basically everything I ever found to be delicious. I even gave up salads. On some days, I found myself covered in an oil that smelled of medicinal eucalyptus—and subsequently covered in a rash. On others, I ordered hot water at a bar while friends chugged beer. Ayurveda leaders envision a future where the system is a fully recognized profession, treating people alongside Western medicine. There’s a national effort for licenses and standards, and Shunya Pratichi Mathur, president of the California Association of Ayurvedic Medicine, is pushing for California to lead the charge. “Now is the time ... we can make impact,” she says. “We should not be reduced to the margins of health care.”

Until then, the Ayurveda industry is barely regulated, with few large-scale scientific studies backing its methods. Treatments can be expensive, education varies in quality and the possibility of scams seems ripe. I dive in anyway, ready to answer some questions. Is Ayurveda all New-Age bullshit, or will my stomach finally find enlightenment?

‘The past and future of healing’ First, we meditate. It’s how we’ll start every appointment, my Ayurvedic practitioner Heather Anthony says. I never meditate—I’ve always had trouble with the associated spiritual jargon. I took a couple of classes at Burning Man. In one session, I fell asleep. In the other, my mind raced about everything I had to do post-Burning Man. In any case, we now sit silent and focus on breathing. We place our hands on our chest. Namaste. I do feel at peace, in the moment. Bamboo, miniBuddhas, burning incense and soothing gong sounds fill the office. The chair is comfy, and Anthony brewed me green tea. Anthony sports dyed blond hair, a

surprising amount of makeup and a sparkly pink scarf. She is not quite the hippie I had expected, but maybe that’s a good thing. Most importantly, she radiates healthiness and happiness. Before our first meeting, I filled out a nine-page questionnaire detailing everything from my daily habits to my sex life to my frequency of pooping. It also held a lengthy warning, essentially that Ayurvedic specialists are not medical doctors, nor licensed professionals. Jarring. We launch into our twohour getting-to-know-me session. I can’t remember the last time I talked about myself for so long, but it results in discussing various ailments— my tendency for nosebleeds, my easily bruised legs, my constantly tense shoulders, my dandruff, my sometimes smelly ear wax. Gross. And, of course, the aforementioned digestion issues. Anthony checks my blood pressure, my pulse—both the Western way and the “Ayurvedic way,” feeling for ether, air, fire, water and earth within my body and whatever else that means—and photographs my tongue. In Ayurveda, it’s believed that you can see the health of all your organs on your tongue. Technically, Anthony is still completing an internship to finish her studies at the California College of Ayurveda, the first such state-approved school in the country, located in Nevada City. It launched in 1995 and, just three years later, its founder Marc Halpern helped form the National Ayurvedic Medical Association. According to Halpern, the college enrolls about 100 new students annually. The demand for education is evident, but California is one of just nine states that technically allows Ayurvedic practitioners to even work through what are known as Health Freedom Laws. First, some Ayurveda basics: it’s a 5,000-year-old system of holistic health care that considers each individual completely unique. That means two people could suffer from throbbing headaches, but each would receive different treatments based on his or

her individual makeup. This makeup—or constitution, in Ayurvedic terminology—is based around the five elements, which join together into mind-body energies, called the doshas. There are three basic doshas—Vata, Pitta and Kapha—and they subtly express themselves in certain physical, emotional and mental patterns. Confused? Think of them as potentially offensive stereotypes. Airy Vatas are skinny, artsy and scattered—sometimes forgetful, anxious. Fiery Pittas are medium-bodied, driven leaders—potentially with a hot temper. Earthy Kaphas are

suppose these descriptions are accurate. My imbalances are shown by the following: a gray plaque coating at the rear of my tongue, which apparently signifies colon trouble; muscle tension; feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious or worried; nosebleeds; occasional burning indigestion; stubbornness; and I think you get the idea so I’ll stop. With the exception of the indigestion and nosebleeds, these all sound like perfectly standard parts of being alive in a modern world. Of course I

One center offers “purification and rejuvenation treatments” for $550. Per day. Or integrated massage therapy for $270. Want a dam of dough placed on your chest and filled with warm, herb-infused milk? That’ll cost $85. larger, nurturing, calm—with a greater risk of laziness and attachment issues. Each dosha has balanced qualities—when mind, body and spirit are jiving dandily—and possible imbalanced qualities, which is when bad things happen. One week after my first Ayurvedic appointment, Anthony delivered her analysis: I’m 47 percent Pitta, 33 percent Vata and 20 percent Kapha. My Pitta apparently manifests itself in my medium-sized nose, rosy skin, concise speech patterns and strong appetite. My Vata shows in my long neck, “delicate and subtle facial energy” and regularly cold hands and feet. My Kapha comes from my smooth and slightly oily skin, short fingers and difficulty getting up in the mornings. I snicker at “delicate and subtle facial energy,” but I

occasionally worry. Of course I am occasionally stubborn. Of course my shoulders feel tense after a full day typing on a computer. And who has a perfectly clean tongue? Anyway, Anthony says these are all relatively minor offenses. I’m fine for the most part. But what about people who have been leading horribly unbalanced lives for decades? Cancer, potentially. Take El Dorado Hills resident Colette Nalley. After undergoing surgery for colon cancer in 2013, doctors told Nalley that she still needed chemotherapy. Nalley did not want chemotherapy. Instead, she called the California College of Ayurveda and spoke to then-teacher Ryan Strong, who now has his own

“No fuN”

continued on page 17

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private practice in Sacramento. Nalley hoped Ayurveda would save her from chemo, but Strong told her she was too far gone. Ayurveda could help ease the effects of chemo and aid recovery, however. Learning about her constitution—Pitta, like me—changed everything. “I exercised a lot. I thought I ate well. I thought that’d protect me. But it was extreme,” she says. Nalley once did marathons, went on runs during lunch breaks, biked 100 miles in a day and finished everything off with hot yoga. Pitta types tend to get overheated, tend to overwork themselves—relaxation and quiet are important. Now she meditates daily. No more processed foods, snacking, salads or coffee. Herbal supplements gently work on her colon. Now she’s cancer-free. “The concept of getting your mind and body into balance was most important,” Nalley says. “Walking instead of running, enjoying the scenery, enjoying the moment.” While Nalley didn’t notice her life’s imbalances, Sacramento yoga teacher Kat Sholan was keenly aware of her battle against constant stress and pressure, mixed with feelings of repression and depletion. Finally she had enough. At 40, she gave up a successful career in architecture in the Bay Area—she had a master’s from Harvard, worked on multimillion dollar projects—in favor of leading an Ayurvedic lifestyle.

“I was feeling really misaligned with what I was doing, like I hit a wall,” she says. “Through the study of Ayurveda, I somehow summoned the courage to step away from that, without a plan, without a safety net, without a partner supporting me.” In May, Sholan will begin accepting clients for Ayurvedic health consultations, on top of the Ayurvedic physical therapies that she’s offered for a couple of years. She and Strong also plan to open a healing center in Sacramento. The goal? To keep up Ayurveda’s momentum in Sacramento through, in part, free workshops for the community. “Every person who has come to see me— and if they really try to get at the underlying imbalance—they benefit,” Strong says. “And I work with some people who are terminally ill—they’re not looking for a treatment. They’re looking to find a way to live the life they have better.”

Most Ayurvedic practitioners, like Strong and Sholan, acknowledge the importance of Western medicine. But Strong doesn’t hesitate to call Ayurveda “the past and future of healing.” They both loathed the Western pill-forsymptom mentality and sought out something that made more sense to them— something holistic and preventative. “For me, what’s so appealing about Ayurveda is that it’s empowering,” Sholan says. “It’s about taking responsibility for your own health and well-being.” I like the sound of that, confident that I’m completely capable of rising to the challenge. Well, hopeful, at least.

I complain and complain, which earns me a new nickname: “ayurbaby.”

Dietary extremes and dreams Week by week, the recommendations pile on. Some are common sense, like making dinner my smallest meal. It seems reasonable—you shouldn’t fill your belly shortly

before going to sleep—but it also goes against everything about our American culture. Dinner is a time spent with loved ones—it’s a ritual I prefer prolonged for hours. Lunch is usually time spent at a desk, and if I’m feeling particularly social, on Google Chat. I stop drinking cold water. And stop drinking liquid with meals in general. And those meals are much smaller, and spent away from screens and G-Chat and distractions, and held at the same time every day. All of these things are crucial, Anthony says, for keeping my “digestive fire” strong. One day, I purchase Mahanarayan oil—a whopping 25 ingredients swimming in a sesame oil base—to warm up and apply all over my body, from my scalp and ears down to my toes in specific motions. It’s supposed to increase circulation and mental alertness, calm nerves and improve sleep, at $11.95 for 4 fluid ounces. The first time feels funny, a little awkward. I sit on a towel in the middle of my bedroom glistening from the stuff, unable to really do anything else because I’m covered in oil. And I have to let it seep into my skin for 20 minutes. Soon I realize I must be allergic to one of those ingredients. The dashamula? Shatavari? Manjistha? Arjuna? Bhumyamalaki? Calamus? Who knows, but I take a break after noticing the little red bulbs of a rash.

“No fuN”

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Anthony swaps the Mahanarayan for another blend of just nine herbs in oil. It smells faintly of boiled peanuts. Days start with hot water and lemon— believed to stimulate the liver and get the whole digestive system moving—instead of my usual black coffee. Anthony doesn’t tell me flat-out to stop drinking coffee—she figures it’d be unrealistic—and instead warns me about all of its horrible effects on my body, followed by a recommendation to add cardamom powder and coconut oil or almond milk to offset its acidity. I try the combination once and decide completely giving up coffee—something I’ve consumed daily since high school—would be easier. It doesn’t taste horrible, but it no longer tastes like coffee. The real challenges come with my dietary program, a four-page list of items that are best to eat daily, OK to eat in small amounts, or best to eliminate altogether. Let’s start with the eliminations: wheat, oats, dairy, eggs, sugar, meat, strawberries, plums, spicy peppers, raw garlic, dried ginger, mustard, raw vegetables. All are believed to cause heaviness, burning or are simply difficult to digest, like salads, apparently. Eventually, Anthony suggests I also eliminate avocados and nuts, because they supposedly cause acid reflux issues. And brown rice, because it’s tougher to digest than white rice—the hull that makes brown rice so much healthier also causes digestive trouble, she says.

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My first attempt at breakfast feels impossible. I usually eat toast, granola, oatmeal or eggs, and suddenly all options have ceased to exist. Millet porridge? Ugh. And I don’t care how many gluten-free, vegan blogs say that amaranth’s odd texture makes for great porridge. It doesn’t. It just doesn’t. As I live in a big communal house with shared cooking responsibilities, I quickly begin to feel like a complete jerk. My list on the fridge of can’t-eat foods annoys me. I can’t even imagine how annoying it must be to everyone else. And inevitably, people forget, and then I feel like even more of a jerk declining the meal they prepare for me. One time, a housemate specifically seeks out quinoa pasta instead of wheat pasta, but then forgets to tell me about the eggs and breadcrumbs binding together some black bean faux-meatballs. Another night, I am forced to cook what was once a beautiful spinach salad. In the midst of all these lifestyle adjustments, I catch the flu. Bedridden, I blame my weak immune system on Ayurveda and feel no qualms about reaching for the evil Tylenol. During my week of recovery, sadness takes over. I almost cry at the sight of a friend eating macaroni and cheese. Sushi inexplicably permeates my dreams—the texture of raw tuna becomes an object of near-obsession. My boyfriend goes out of his way to find me vegan, not-spicy noodle soup, but the noodles contained wheat. I eat them anyway. I complain

and complain, which earns me a new nickname: in the area. Others charge beyond $200 for “ayurbaby.” those first appointments, and closer to $100 for At my final appointment, I space out follow-ups. And beyond health consultations, during meditation, my blood pressure is almost the unregulated field presents lush retreats, body dangerously low and I learn I’ve somehow cleanses, spa treatments and physical therapies lost 10 pounds. I love food too much for this, as vital components of healing—for hundreds and now I’m weak and irritable. A meal is no to thousands of dollars. longer something I look forward to—it’s a On the extreme end, there’s Deepak Chopra, chore, another in a long stretch of the bestselling author and arguably unwanted obligations. Days the most famous and controverfeel so long, so filled with sial proponent of Ayurveda. tedious tasks. I feel His healing center like my freedom, my regularly offers a 10-day American right to “Perfect Health” choose, has been retreat for $4,000. stripped away. One Sacramento I know, I know. center offers I chose this. For “purification and some reason that rejuvenation treatI can no longer ments” for $550. remember. Per day. Or just I’m tired. I’m one-and-a-half hours —Meghan O’ Hara melodramatic. I’m of integrated massage health coach, True Nourishment done with Ayurveda. therapy for $270. Want I tell Anthony it’s a dam of dough placed on mostly because of the your chest and filled with cost—I’m a broke writer, warm, herb-infused milk? That’ll after all. Every follow-up appointcost $85. ment would cost me $65, beyond the $175 Anthony says she understands, and that at price tag on the first two meetings. None of it least now I have a framework for continued covered by health insurance. Because Anthony healing. But then she leaves me with something is still technically an intern, her services are cryptic. also cheaper than most other professionals

“There are so many philosophies of nutrition—it’s almost like a religion these days.”


In Ayurveda, it’s believed you can see the health of your whole body on your tongue. Scrape early, and scrape often.

“You’re young,” she warns me. “You may feel fine now, but if you continue like this, it could be really damaging.” I like Anthony. I believe that she believes I need more help, and that Ayurveda will save me. But I still have doubts, so I meet up with Meghan O’Hara, a local registered dietitian and health coach with True Nourishment. I show her my four-page dietary program, read aloud entries from my food journal and learn that some of my concerns are definitely valid. At least from a Western nutrition perspective. According to O’Hara, I was getting maybe 60 to 70 percent of the protein I need each day while eating Ayurvedically. With meat, dairy, eggs and nuts off the table, I relied heavily on tofu. Finding time to soak and cook dried beans on a regular basis? Not a chance. “I imagine if you kept going you’d see the effects of protein deficiency—low energy, low on some of your minerals,” she tells me. “You’d create new symptoms.” It helps explain why I’m so exhausted. O’Hara agrees with my concerns about a diet that eliminated raw vegetables and recommended white basmati rice over all other grains. Whole grains hold fiber and nutrients that are stripped away with refined white rice. And raw veggies are much healthier, too. Raw vegetables and whole grains can be hard to digest for people with serious gut diseases, O’Hara says, but a relatively healthy 23-year-old should have no issues. BEFORE

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Some stuff sounds more legitimate. Hot water and lemon is, scientifically, an excellent way to kick-start your digestive system in the mornings, O’Hara says. Coffee, while studies have proven carries some health benefits, can also be damaging for some people lacking certain enzymes. And no one needs dairy in a diet—plenty of legumes and leafy greens are rich in calcium. Ultimately, O’Hara has some theories for my discomfort—a gallbladder issue, perhaps, or a threshold for mixing acidic and high-fat foods. I like these answers. They sound more plausible than an imbalance of my inner ether. But what about my diet? Are there specific foods I should avoid, beyond the obvious? O’Hara can’t help me there, at least not without our own consultations. “There are so many philosophies of nutrition—it’s almost like a religion these days,” O’Hara says. “There’s really no definition of ‘healthy diet.’” Damn.

Push toward legitimacy In the age of the Internet, gleaning real truths about health and nutrition is challenging. The onslaught of sensational listicles about superfoods, detox tricks and alternative home remedies never seems to end. Take Raj Karthikeyan, a Fair Oaks resident I met at an Ayurveda meet-up group. Karthikeyan became obsessed with self-care and Ayurveda just a few months ago. For years, he suffered from an enlarged prostate, but didn’t want to take medication for it. After

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attending one Ayurveda meet-up, he ordered herbal supplements online. Less than $50 and one day later, the problem vanished, he says. Now he’s adopted an Ayurvedic lifestyle. “I have more mental clarity and more energy,” he says. “This is the first time I have a lifestyle I can actually keep up consistently.” He regularly posts articles on Facebook with titles such as “Discover how coconut oil can rescue the brain from Alzheimer’s” or “Four apple cider vinegar recipes to boost immunity and lose weight.” On the phone, he tells me he eschewed olive oil for coconut oil because it supposedly helps with weight loss. O’Hara says there are no studies suggesting that’s true. Plus, coconut oil contains more saturated fat than butter. It’s unclear why such misinformation floats around, but even the nutrition industry contradicts itself. A couple of weeks ago, the latest U.S. dietary guidelines went back on its decades-long advice to avoid cholesterolladen foods. But people are gullible. That’s what makes Ayurveda’s lack of regulation troubling— scamming seems too easy. Halpern, the founder of the California College of Ayurveda and the National Ayurvedic Medical Association, referred to the push for licensing a “public safety and credibility issue.” The association recommends at least 600 hours of training for Ayurvedic health counselors—professionals who primarily coach on diet and lifestyle—and at least 1,500 hours for full-on practitioners, who deal with disease management. Coursework at the California

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College of Ayurveda, for example, covers anatomy, physiology, pathology, psychology, nutrition and herbalism. But only 23 schools are members of the National Ayurvedic Medical Association, thereby meeting these standards and gaining state-approval. There are far, far more unofficial programs touting Ayurvedic training across the country. Mathur says the California Association of Ayurvedic Medicine has recently laid out its five-step plan to achieve licensing and she’s already started informal, friendly dialogue with politicians and anticipates state legislators will attend the association’s next big conference in 2016. “With licensing, insurance companies can cover us, students can get grants and loans, more research would be done at important universities,” Mathur says. A major criticism of Ayurveda is the lack of large-sample, double-blind, randomized studies with controls and placebo groups published in peer-reviewed journals—the gold standard in Western science. Look up “Ayurveda” on PubMed, the biggest online hub of biomedical research, and find fewer than 4,000 studies. Compare that to traditional Chinese medicine’s more than 33,000. Mathur argues there are many studies, but they took place in India, where standards drop in rigor. In the U.S., Ayurveda doesn’t exactly have organizations with lots of money backing more research. “At the end of the day, we all want a piece of the pie,” Mathur says. “It’s a battle of ideas, a battle of paradigms. Who has the truth?” I’ve held onto some Ayurvedic practices. I start each day with hot water and lemon—no more coffee for this previous addict. I regularly scrape down my tongue for the good of oral hygiene. I reserve moments to just breathe quietly. When I have the time, I still relish in the nurturing warmth of rice porridge with stewed pears in the morning. But that’s the trick: when I have time. Living an Ayurvedic lifestyle isn’t accessible to many people, and likely those who could use it most. Anyone with a full-time job, working a typical 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. schedule, might struggle squeezing in a breakfast that takes 30 minutes to cook. Busy people don’t have time to cook all their meals every day, and they definitely don’t have time to take long, leisurely lunches in silence. They don’t have time to meditate before dinner—they have to cook, or watch their kids, or work a second job. That all said, I haven’t experienced any stomach problems since Ayurveda, or since adding all the “bad food” back into my diet. Maybe that means it worked after all—reset my digestive system, cleared out toxins or something. Or it’s all a coincidence, placebo. Either way, I scheduled an appointment with a medical doctor and happily enjoy a 10 p.m. slice of chocolate cake every so often. The way I feel about Ayurveda is close to how I feel about astrology—fun to think about, maybe accurate but not something that should dictate all of my actions. Perhaps that’ll change one disease-ridden day, but for now, my poop is medium brown and banana-shaped. Healthy. Ω

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change An SN&R writer and his family visit Chile to immerse themselves in a different culture —and learn some Spanish jabs, too

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story & photos by Sasha Abramsky

t

here are, in Valparaíso, many perros vagos. Vagabond dogs. They roam the hilly streets, alleyways, and staircases of this beautiful, gritty, Chilean port, an hour-and-ahalf by bus northwest of Santiago, half-heartedly following passersby along the byways, and past the extraordinary street art that festoons practically every public wall.

They shit copiously on the streets, making a walk along the old cobbles always something of an exercise in chance. But the dogs, many of which appear to be purebreds, don’t seem to be dangerous. In fact, they are semi-domesticated, tended to by local residents and store owners … up to a point. They sleep on the streets, in doorways and under cars; but in the morning, one can see pellets of dog food carefully laid out near them. They belong to no one—the expenses of vaccines, tick removal, flea medicines and so on, being costs no individual wants to take on. But, at the same time, they belong to everyone. In Chile, pets are called mascotas. And, here, they do, indeed, function something like citywide mascots.


Spring re-awakening See NIGHT&DAY

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I am in Valparaíso with my wife and two kids; we’ve taken them on a two-month independent study to do immersion Spanish classes in a language school next to the port—at one time the largest in South America—and the Plaza Sotomayor, in which stands the Heroes’ Monument dedicated to lost sailors of a late 19th-century war against the Bolivians and Peruvians to the north. We chose Valparaíso because we wanted the romance and the grit and the dreams of a great, but somewhat seedy, southern hemisphere city. We wanted something that would contrast with the calm streets and predictable routines and comfortable cars and air-conditioning-ondemand that make up our lives in Sacramento. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but sometimes it’s good to go far from one’s comfort zone, changing hemispheres and seasons, assumptions about life and ways of interacting between people. We haven’t been disappointed. A city of almost 300,000, built into the hills and divided into a series of cerros, or neighborhoods, the nearly 500-year-old Valparaíso, declared a World Heritage Site in 2003, oozes atmosphere from every graffiti-surrounded pore. Each house, of wood, of adobe, and with sheet metal roofing, is painted its own color; each alleyway, with its hanging laundry and visual cacophony of competing art, tells its own story; each vagabond dog and mangy, piss-smelling cat, roams its own territory; and every cafe and restaurant—with the absurdly tasty and low-priced meals, and the great local wines that cost, for a bottle, what a half-glass would go for in California—has its own, unique ambiance. Valparaíso’s is a street culture. Locals take funiculars—antique, terrifyingly steep trolley cars (think the Angels Flight in downtown L.A.) that ride the rails up into the hills and down again into the flats by the Pacific Ocean—old electric trams, or micros (informal, small local buses, that go pretty much anywhere in the region for a few cents); but more often, they simply walk. It’s a small enough city that one can go by foot from end to end in under an hour. We do so, every day, on the way from the small three-room apartment we have rented out back of our landlady’s house, up in the hills of Cerro Mariposa to our lessons. We each walk with our own backpacks—I haven’t been a student in near a quarter century, and there’s something infinitely satisfying to me BEFORE

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Milkshake season! See DRINK ME

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Use your noodle See DISH

The kids are learning how to insult me in Spanish. I am, they say, a

about slinging my bag of textbooks over my shoulder each morning. Each morning we also stop at one of the many lovely little cafes for an Americano or a hot chocolate; I buy a newspaper and, dictionary in hand, attempt to expand my Spanish vocabulary. And then, at 12:30, we start our lessons. With the exception of a long mid-afternoon lunch break, we’re in language lessons until 7 in the evening. I haven’t conjugated so many verbs since Latin classes in my secondary school in London back in the last millennium. Afterward, we usually grab an empanada, and then, as dusk begins to fall, walk the streets home. In Valparaíso, the empanadas often contain, in their center, an unpitted olive. Why, I can’t quite work out. Except I think it must be a test of native savvy. Sort of like when New Yorkers cockily ask “how do you pronounce the street spelled H-O-U-S-T-O-N?” If you answer “Houston, as in the city in Texas,” you’re immediately identified as an out-of-towner. If you answer “How-ston,” your bona fides are established. Perhaps the olive is the same. Bite into the pit and yelp in pain, and you’re an extrajanero, a foreigner. Carefully remove the olive and de-pit it and you’re a porteño, a local port dweller. Until late into the night the streets are crowded—and until late in those same nights, the pastelerias, little pastry shops that sell extraordinary desserts, stay open too; as do the bars and taverns in which, in times past, such literary   |    A R T S & C U L T U R E

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lights as the poet Pablo Neruda—who built one of his three wondrous Chilean dream homes in town, high up in the hills overlooking the city—drank their fill. From the better of those taverns wafts the deep-throated songs of guitarristas, local female musicians who take as their inspiration the yearning, heartbreaking songs of Mercedes Sosa. We have our routine here. Five days a week we study. On weekends, we explore nearby beach towns, or go up and down the funiculars here in Valparaíso. We research our post-Spanish-school travels. The kids are learning how to insult me in Spanish. I am, they say, a viejo, an old man. My daughter, fast approaching her teenage years, says “cualquier …”—I think it roughly translates as “whatever …”— and she rolls her eyes. Sometimes, they react against their lessons—or at least the process of studying together, two siblings in a room with one teacher and a new language— and on a couple of occasions my son, temporarily frustrated, has let me know that he wants to cancel out the entire school thing. But, on the whole, when they are well fed and at least somewhat rested, they seem to be happy and are both picking up many Spanish phrases. They have been taken far out of their familiar world, and, despite the occasional tantrums and battles over homework, their horizons are expanding. We are here a month. I don’t know how much Spanish we will all end up with; but, whether a lot or a little I do know we are all seeing this world, so many thousands of miles from home, with very different eyes from those with which we usually view our lives. Ω

an old man.

STORY

See THE 420

The writer and his family's time in Valparaíso has included trips on the city's funiculars— steep trolley cars—and through its colorful, graffiti-adorned streets.

viejo,

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Politics of pot

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For the week of March 5

wEEkly PICkS

Living on a Dollar a Day Through SaTurday, March 7 While not diminishing the struggle of America’s  poor, poverty in some countries is severe, with  people living on under a dollar a day in some cases.  Renée C. Byer documented some of these people  in her book Living on a Dollar a Day: The Lives and  ART Faces of the World’s Poor. Her photo exhibition is inspired by her courageous book.  Free, various hours through March 7 at Viewpoint  Photographic Art Center, 2015 J Street, Suite 101.

SPR I NGI NG FORWA R D T

he jackrabbits are hopping en  masse on the bike trail, the sun  is creeping out from behind the  clouds and flowers are in full bloom  in Sacramento. Daylight savings  time starts at 2 a.m. on Sunday,  March 8, which makes it feel even  more like spring. But even before  that, it seems like Sacramento has  already leapt fully into the season  by planning a ton of spring-themed  events this week.  A pair of big events will help give  residents a dose of blooming plants:  the Sacramento Home and Garden Show  ($7 per day, various times Friday,  March 6, through Sunday, March 8, at  Cal Expo, 1600 Exposition Boulevard;  www.sachomeandgardenshow.net)  and the 91st annual Sacramento Camellia Show (free, various times  Saturday, March 7, and Sunday,  March 8, at Memorial Auditorium,  1515 J Street; www.camellia  societyofsacramento.org).  The former will feature homeimprovement and gardening  services and equipment. The latter  shows off camellias, floral design and  offers flowers for sale.

—Aaron Carnes

Wild Rose Park grand opening SaTurday, March 7 Roll up to North Natomas and help celebrate the  opening of Wild Rose Park. The park features a  nature-themed children’s playground, two basketball courts, a baseball  RECREATIoN field and a community garden, as well as a skate park—designed with help  from teens in the skating community. Free,   10 a.m. at Wild Rose Park, 5200 Kankakee Drive,  www.cityofsacramento.org/parksandrec.

A little bit later on in the week  at Cal Expo (Thursday, March 12,  through Sunday, March 15), the  Sacramento Boat Show and the Real RV Show happen at the same place  on the same days. The boat show  (www.sacramentoboatshow.com)  caters to boating enthusiasts  with fishing boats, wakeboard  boats and more, and the RV  show (www.rvshow.com) offers  tons of RVs for sale to get people  ready for summer road-trip  vacations.  For an event that celebrates the  natural beauty of spring, check out  a seminar called Vernal Pools: Jewels of the Valley at Effie Yeaw Nature  Center (2850 San Lorenzo Way in  Carmichael). From 6:30 p.m. to   8:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 12,  ecologist Eva Butler will teach  people about the unique ecology  of vernal pools. That’s followed by  a field study at Mather Field on  Saturday, March 14, from 2 p.m.  to 4 p.m. The seminar costs $25.  Visit http://sacnaturecenter.net/ ssvernalpools.html to sign up and  learn more.

—Alan Sheckter

Poetry Art Jazz SaTurday, March 7 This annual event brings poets, visual artists  and jazz musicians together. Eight regional poets  wrote poems inspired by the current Sacramento  Fine Arts Center exhibition, Animal House, and  will recite those alongside original jazz  ARTS compositions of the Brubeck Institute  Jazz Quintet. $25, 7 p.m. at Sacramento Fine Arts  Center, 5330 Gibbons Drive, Suite B in Carmichael;  www.sacfinearts.org/poetryartjazz.html.

—Trina L. Drotar

Northern California Egg Artists 25th Annual Show SaTurday, March 7, Through Sunday, March 8 Folks can gaze upon ostrich, goose, rhea, emu and  other eggs. Several art styles will be on hand including Fabergé pieces as well as ornate jewelry. There  will be seminars throughout the day to make pros  out of novices. Free, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.  EGGS Saturday and 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday at  Crowne Plaza Hotel Sacramento Northeast,   5321 Date Avenue; www.norcaleggart.com.

—Eddie Jorgensen

—J on a t h a n M e n d ic k

Joey “Coco” Diaz ThurSday, March 12, Through SaTurday, March 14 Joey “Coco” Diaz is not for the faint of heart. His  comedy is full of F-bombs, C-words, the other  F-bombs and more. And all of it will be brilliantly and  ComEdy hysterically funny. Warm up to his  humor by listening to his podcast The  Church of What’s Happening Now, or following his  Twitter feed (@madflavor), but really, you should just  go see his live show. $18.50-$23.50, 8 p.m. Thursday  through Saturday, and 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday  at Punch Line Comedy Club, 2100 Arden Way;   www.punchlinesac.com.

—Ngaio Bealum BEFORE

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Per formances By: B e l ly g u n n e r Cen tu ry Got Ba rs C hris Ga rdn er Ba n d Cove Element Brass Ban d J a m e s C av e r n J o s e p h I n Th e W e l l Ky l e Row l a n d Ba n d L ite B r ite M a ssiv e D el icio u s M usical Charis S h o uj o K itten Stev ie N a der Th e W e s t w a r d s World Hood

SACRAMENTO AREA MUSIC AWARDS

T H U R S DAY, M A RC H 26 DOORS/6:30 SHOW/7:00

ACE OF SPADES 1417 R Street Sacramento, Ca 95811

T I C K E T S : $10/Do o r $ 5/Ad va n c e Advance tickets available at snrsweetdeals.newsreview.com and aceofspadessac.com

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IllustratIons by PrIscIlla GarcIa

Loaf of love SourDough levain, MaSullo Pizza As if Masullo Pizza could be any more awesome,  the restaurant now sells loaves of its fantastically  rustic sourdough levain every day. The breads are  10 percent whole wheat, made  by baker Stephanie Salanoa  using the deeply flavored  starter that the pizzas  are based on. Salanoa  bakes them each morning using the residual  oven heat from the previous night’s service. The  Fresh Br ead $6 large round loaves cost  $6 each, and Masullo only  makes three each day. Get in at lunchtime if you can  to claim your prize. With few—if any—other such  artisan loaves in town, Masullo continues to feed  us with world-class skill. 2711 Riverside Boulevard,  www.masullopizza.com.

—ann Martin rolke

An intense yum Shake, Devine gelateria & Cafe

IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

Cookie monsters By Janelle Bitker

Even more cookies: By now, most late-night munchers know about Cookies & Milk, the delivery service that shows up at your house at midnight with warm, fresh-baked cookies. But some people want cookies while the sun is still up. Co-owner Will Countryman says Cookies & Milk is looking to expand into daytime hours, hopefully within the next month or two. Currently, Cookies & Milk only delivers from 7 p.m. to 1:30 a.m., Thursday through Saturday. “We’ve been getting calls during the day for people wanting deliveries for office meetings, birthday parties,” Countryman says. BEFORE

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JanelleB@newSreview.CoM

He imagines businesses and event organizers will place orders online or by phone in advance—currently Countryman and his partner Nick Altman field calls and bake to order. In December, the pair launched an IndieGoGo crowd-funding campaign aimed at opening a retail shop. They quickly decided to ditch it—refunding their two friends who donated $70 total—when Sugar and Spice Specialty Desserts went out of business. As the two businesses shared a kitchen, Countryman and Altman got a sweet deal on equipment as well as the kitchen to use whenever they please. Now, they’re hiring staff and

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slowly plugging away on their dream to open a brick-and-mortar downtown. The goal? Provide a space so folks can wander in on a cookie-whim and hang out, and perhaps offer ice cream, ice cream cookie sandwiches and milkshakes. Deliveries would still be a key part of the business, though. “We feel there’s a lack of a great, fresh-baked cookie company in town,” Countryman says. “We take more risks with our cookies flavors.” Rotating specials might be as exciting as maple bacon—with thick-cut, candied bacon chunks and pure maple syrup. Oh jeez. Is it 7 p.m. yet? Well, if Oprah loves it … : Remember when the cold-pressed juice trend was just starting out? We blamed—or thanked—Los Angeles and all those celebrity endorsements. Beloved by Gwen Stefani and Oprah, the pioneering Pressed Juicery has touched down in Sacramento. Roseville, technically. In Fountains, specifically. Because of course. Pressed Juicery Fountains (1182 Roseville Parkway #145) held its grand opening last weekend, offering a mix of veggie and fruit juices created via its custom-made hydraulic press. A 16 fluid-ounce bottle starts at $6.50. Happy cleansing. Ω   |    A R T S & C U L T U R E

It may seem like a waste to blend gelato into a milkshake  —its denser, creamier texture gets lost. But with less  air than American ice cream, gelato’s flavor is much  more intense. Therefore, the resultant gelato shake is  more intense. Therefore, not a waste at all. A $6 shake  at Devine gives you five scoops of gelato, which means  you indecisive-types can combine flavors. Hint: Ferrero  Rocher and Frangelico Hazelnut tastes like a more elegant Nutella. The thickness is a bit challenging to suck  through the straw, but it’s worth the effort. How else  will you take advantage of this unseasonal afternoon  warmth? 1221 19th Street, www.devinegelateria.com.

—Janelle Bitker

Gettin’ piggy wit it Pig Day One thing people don’t see often at farmers markets  are live animals. Sometimes there are crustaceans,  or live chickens capering about at Asian markets. But  on March 7 at the Davis  Farmers Market (located  in Central Park), it’s Pig  Day. From 8 a.m. to   1 p.m., pet squeaky  piglets and take selfies  with people in pig drag,  then chow down on  brunch or fried rice  made with local bacon. Or  shop for pig-shaped bread  pops, Bahamian pig pennies and pig-themed crafts  for your little oinkers. Visit local legend Bledsoe Purebred’s booth for thick-cut pork chops and bacon to  take home for your own pigout.

—ann Martin rolke |

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Qu ic k. Fresh.

Visit newsreView.com/sacramento/dining/more to search sn&r’s dining directory to find local restaurants by name or by type of food.

F i l li ng.

Noodles worth the wait

Authentic Vietnamese dishes & Sandwiches

2417 Broadway #A2 • Sacramento, CA 95818 • 916-391.9888 M-Sat 10:30a-8p • Sun 11a-6p

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Bottomless Mimosas 10:00am-2pm

kitchen | beer | wine

2107 P st • 916.440.9611 www.adamosKitchen.com

V i ntage

M oder n &

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-A n n Martin Rolke, S N&R Fo o d C r i t i c

HAppy HouR featuring Captain Morgan's Black Cannonball M-F, 4-6 | open 4pm for dinner

live BRAziliAN jAzz every first Thursday

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Join us in our bar for specials on cheese and chocolate fondues, $3 featured beers, $4 featured wines by the glass and $5 featured cocktails.

814 15TH ST., SACRAMENTO (916) 443-2347 MELTINGPOT.COM/SACRAMENTO

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latin cuisine & tapas Bar

by Jonathan Mendick JonathanM@newsreview.coM

House of Thai Rice & Noodle

featured tasty, tiny crabs (which makes it “Lao style,” as opposed to the “Thai style” with dried shrimp), fermented fish paste (probably too pungent for the average American palate) and a 5738 watt avenue, (916) 333-2591, ton of heat from copious Thai chilies (also not www.tinyurl.com/houseofthaisac for the faint of heart). Dinner for one: $10 - $15 Since the first soup and salad were both hits, Good for: noodle soup, traditional thai food the next time we tried a bowl of shrimp tom Notable dishes: boat noodles, kao-soy kha with a ground-pork larb salad and a side of sticky rice. The tom kha (coconut-milk broth with mushrooms, bell peppers and herbs) wasn’t quite as comforting as the kao-soy, but still flavorful, with a subtle spicy and sour kick. The ground-pork larb featured a delicious During certain rainy spring and winter days combination of fresh spices and herbs (lemonin Sacramento, it’s somewhat easy to get grass, green onion, mint) but had an almost overflashbacks to Southeast Asia. One way to do whelming crunchiness. Something in it (roasted that is by slurping bowls of noodle soup and rice powder, maybe?) had a Grape-Nuts-esque sipping iced coffee at any Vietnamese, Thai, Lao texture that we weren’t used to. or Cambodian restaurant in town. Proust-esque We settled on more soup on another rainymemories are even more likely if it’s raining, day visit with an order of boat noodles (beef and the bowl of noodle soup is incredibly fresh noodle soup) and kao piak (chicken noodle and the coffee strong. soup)—plus an order of vegetarian spring rolls Such is the case with House of Thai Rice to start off with, mango and sticky rice & Noodle, which opened in 2013 in for dessert and a plate of pineNorth Highlands. Situated in a apple fried rice to go. The boat strip mall next to the Cuban noodle was the better of the It’s usually eatery Sol Cubano, this soups on this day, with lots relatively small Thai spot hard to find of beef flavor in the broth is often packed, and it augmented by slices of authentic papaya sometimes takes a little thin beef, meatballs and while to get a seat. But salad outside of herbs. The kao piak the wait’s well worth it, might be a good choice and besides: Whenever south Sacramento, for someone with a bad service was slow, we cold looking for really but the version were offered free Thai simple flavors, but it coffee or Thai tea. here definitely wasn’t too inventive. For our first visit, we The spring rolls will happened to visit on a rainy stacked up. satisfy vegetarians and meatday, so ordering soup seemed eaters alike with their copious appropriate. We settled on a small mixture of hearty veggies. And the order of kao-soy (thick rice noodles mango sticky rice was a hearty, semisweet and ground pork in a red tomato-based broth, dessert to top off the meal. Later, the fried rice with bean sprouts and fresh herbs on top) and made for a good takeout dinner, with incredibly started with Lao-style papaya salad (shredded fluffy, sticky rice and sweet pineapple balancing papaya, green beans, crab, peanut, Thai chili and the dish’s salty meats. lime). Both dishes packed in plenty of flavor. House of Thai’s decor and service are If you’re a fan of pho, the kao-soy is definitely comforting (quite literally): Pillows accompany worth a try. The noodles resemble those at TK the booths, plenty of green tropical plants give Noodle in South Sacramento’s Little Saigon: it a lush feel, and old-school Thai sculptures flat, fluffy rice noodles. The tomato broth was a and art adorn the walls. The owner often stops bit plain, but a splash of fish sauce and Thai chili by and makes sure everything is OK, and as easily adjusted it to our taste. previously mentioned, often offers free drinks. It’s usually hard to find authentic papaya It’s a great neighborhood Thai spot for North salad outside of south Sacramento (or various Highlanders and the surrounding suburban secret underground mom-and-pop operations), communities. Ω but the version here definitely stacked up. It

HHHH


Gift certificates to local merchants for up to 50% off

Food for fundraising

Usually, the act of purchasing food only brings financial benefit to   restaurant owners, restauranteurs and businesses. That’s not the case  with a pair of events this week that help out foodrelated nonprofit organizations. First up is  the monthly March Guest Chef Dinner ($50;  Thursday, March 5, at Plates Cafe and Catering, 14 Business Parkway;   www.hawksrestaurant.event  brite.com). It’ll feature dishes from  chef Molly Hawks of Hawks Restaurant and wine from Boisset Wine Living. Plates is a Saint John’s Program  for Real Change employment training  program for formerly homeless mothers. Later in the week, check out a pair of  meals at the Sacramento Convention Center  (1400 J Street) that will comprise an event called  Empty Bowls: The Soup Supper ($70, 5:30 p.m. on Monday, March 9) features  wine, hors d’oeuvres, soup and desserts. The Luncheon ($30, 11:30 a.m. on  Tuesday, March 10) includes just soup and desserts. Empty Bowls benefits  the River City Food Bank (www.rivercityfoodbank.org).

?!

w w w. n e w s r e v i e w. c o m

—Jonathan Mendick

Gift certificates to local merchants for up to 50% off

FS

THU MAR 5 / 5PM 6RIVERS $1 PINTS 9PM-11PM

FRI MAR 6 / ALL DAY EVENT

STOUT DAY (PORT BOURBON BARREL AGED SANTA’S LIL HELPER, OSKAR BLUES TEN FIDY, DESCHUTES ABYSS, LOST ABBEY SERPENTS STOUT, THE BRUERY TART OF DARKNESS) $1 PINTS 7PM-9PM

Ravioli for vegan pandas

SAT MAR 7 / ALL DAY EVENT

GREEN FLASH/ALPINE TAP TAKEOVER AND BACK ALLEY GRAND OPENING! LARGEST TAP TAKEOVER IN SACRAMENTO! $1 PINTS 7PM-9PM

by Shoka out at the monthly Sacramento  Antique Faire (21st and X streets  on second Sundays) and the  revamped Midtown Farmers  Market (20th and J streets on  Saturdays beginning March 7)  and online for deliveries—rare,  indeed—at www.facebook.com/ thepastaqueen. Maybe someday  the Queen P will make vegan  bamboo ravioli with bamboo pesto for pandas, too, since the  endangered bears’ diet is 99  percent plants (bamboo leaves).  Plus, that would be adorable.

artichoke and spinach in red-pepper pasta and roasted vegetables in  chili-pepper pasta are the two  “pillows of heaven” listed as vegan  on the Queen’s menu, and there  are sauces, too: arugula parsley  pesto, Zesty Red, marinara,  and Spicy Arrabbiata. Seek them

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SUN MAR 8

CAPITOL BEER FEST AFTERPARTY! $1 PINTS 5PM-7PM, $3 PINTS 7PM-CLOSE

SN&R

Finding vegan ravioli can be as  rare as getting an internship at  a nursery for baby giant pandas.  Local fresh-pasta maker The Pasta Queen, however, has room  in the program for wannabe bear  nannies, so to speak. Roasted

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Events

THURSDAY MAR 5TH 5-8

CENTRAL CALI BREWERY NIGHT! DUST BOWL, FIRESTONE, TAP IT, SLO, KERN BREWERY CO & MORE ★ PEOPLES CHOICE AWARD FOR FAVORITE IPA

FIND OF THE WEEK

New kids on the block

FRIDAY MAR 6TH 5-8

HUMBOLDT BREWERY NIGHT EEL RIVER, LOST COAST, MAD RIVER, NORTH COAST & SIX RIVERSBREWERY ★ FAVORITE PORTER AWARD

OffbitS There will never be a replacement for Legos, but in a  bizzaro world, Offbits could be the next best thing. A  Toy bag of Offbits looks as though it’s filled with  toolbox spare parts (springs, screws, et al.).  Assembled, these pieces build a variety of kooky,  adorable robots—like something out of an ’80s-era  Spielberg film. According to the company story, these  “open-source toys” are malfunctioning robots in  need of adoption. There are nine kits available ($25  each)—mix and match any and all the parts to create unique characters. www.theoffbits.com.  —Aaron Carnes

SATURDAY MAR 7TH 1-4

BREWERY OLYYMPICS & IPA FEST! AUBURN ALEHOUSE, BERRYESSA, LOOMIS BASIN HERETIC, OUT OF BOUNDS, KNEE DEEP, TRACK 7 & MORE

SATURDAY MAR 14TH

CHICO STATE REUNION ★ SIERRA NEVADA BREWING AND THE BEER OLYMPICS

40 ON 40 AIRSTREAM DINER FOOD TRUCK sERVING GRUB! 4007 Taylor Road • Loomis, CA {EXIT I-80 TO SIERRA COLLEGE}

916-652-4007 • countryclubsaloon.com

Earth stories a Line in the tar SandS Indigenous women are a majority of the   contributors to A Line in the Tar Sands: Struggles for  Environmental Justice (PM Press, $24.95). Here, they  Book write from the front lines of the energy  industry’s bid to extract more carbonheavy and planet-warming bitumen from the tar  sands of Northern Alberta, Canada, a toxic strip  mine the size of Florida. We, in part, read stories of  strategizing to oppose corporate interests profiting  from ecological destruction. Lively trial-and-error  informs the dissent in this timely collection. The  book’s direct aim is to move more people to resist  carbon-fueled climate change to destroy Mother  Earth’s clean air, land and water. Rock on. —Seth Sandrosky

Pajama party Verge aLL nighter While members of the hipster population sometimes  claim there’s nothing to do in Sacramento, the folks  at Verge Center for the Arts are out to prove those  naysayers wrong. Saturday, March 7, Verge will  host a special slumber party in conjunction with the  EvENT crazy folks at Trash Film Orgy. Don your  favorite overnight wear and bring a  pillow and blanket if needed. Participants can sprawl  out on one of the center’s many couches—part of  Nate Page’s “couchbleachers” installation—to watch  a movie and eat pizza. The soiree starts at 8 p.m. and  keeps rocking until the break of dawn. Members pay  $5 and everyone else will need to pony up a paltry  $10. 625 S Street, http://vergeart.com/learn/events/ verge-all-nighter. —Eddie Jorgensen

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The underground punk Meri St. Mary Punk. Poet. Chanteuse. Each of those terms are weighty  descriptors, but throw the three  words together and conjure an image that’s impressive and iconic.  Exene Cervenka and Patti  Smith, obviously. But also the  lesser-known but still influential  Meri St. Mary. In the ’80s, Mary was part of  the early punk scene in Hollywood  (where she appeared in music videos as well as the 1984 cult punk film  Suburbia) and, later,  MuSic San Francisco where  she and a handful of musicians  formed the Housecoat Project. In the ’90s, Mary continued  performing in San Francisco with  bands such as Sex is a Witch and  also launched a radio show, The  Underground Sound, on KVMR 89.5,  the indie Nevada City station. These days Mary can still be  heard on KVMR; she’s also a noted  spoken word artist and, of course,  still makes music. Throughout the years, Mary’s  work has explored the gritty counterculture, feminist themes and the  sometimes unpleasant intersection  between commerce and art. Mary’s latest album, Protagonista, comprises a collection of new  experimental electronica songs  produced by Th’ Mole. The four songs here represent  a departure from the musician’s  punk roots: They’re spacy, surreal  and decidedly not for the faint of  heart. Mary debuted the album in  November in Berlin and is now set  to perform a handful of stateside  shows, including a gig at Shine.  Roots Like Mountains and Instagon  are also on the bill. $5, 8 p.m. on  Saturday, March 7, at 1400 E Street;  http://meristmary.com. —Rachel Leibrock


Shakespeare and cell phones (hell yeah!)

4

In the Heights

Carly Giroux directs an energetic and extremely talented cast of singers and dancers through the barrio blast that is In the Heights. A sweet, sentimental soap opera, it chronicles three July days in the working-class Manhattan neighborhood of Washington Heights. The live music is brassy, the dancing is sensational and the musical’s completely sold out—so get on the waiting list if you can. It’s muy caliente! F, Sa 8pm; Su 7 pm. Through 3/15. $18. Green Valley Theatre Company, 3823 V St.; (916) 736-2664; www.greenvalleytheatre.com. J.C.

Julius Caesar

4

To paraphrase Marc Antony, I come to praise Caesar, not to bury his show. Sacramento Theatre Company’s production of Julius Caesar is so up by Jim Carnes to date, it could be in Kansas City. But it’s right here in Sacramento. At STC, no less. Co-directors Kirk Blackinton and Brian Harrower—admitted Shakespeare-philes and well-known for outstanding productions of The Bard at Big Idea Theatre—conceived this modern adaptation that revels in Shakespeare’s words but juices the tragedy with enough technical savvy (excellent sound effects and inventive slow-motion action) to make it even more compelling. It helps immensely that they have

5

PHoTo By BARRy WiSdoM PHoTogRAPHy

Julius Caesar; 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, Thursday; 8 p.m. Friday; 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday; $34-$38. Sacramento Theatre Company, 1419 H Street; (916) 443-6722; www.sactheatre.org. Through March 22.

The greatest gift of the Great Depression was the Works Project Administration, to which we owe so much in the way of still-functioning infrastructure; by far, the WPA’s greatest gift was the work produced by the artists it employed. Murals, public art, concerts and the Federal Theatre Project all kept American artists from starving during the lean years and offered the rest of the country an opportunity to experience art. The Cradle Will Rock, a 1937 musical by Marc Blitzstein, was the last work produced under the Federal Theater Project, and it had only one partial production due to the controversy surrounding its content. Directed by the legendary Orson Welles and produced by the great John Houseman, it was only seen as a full production a year later, when it was produced by their nascent Mercury Theatre. Both an artistic work and as a historical document, The Cradle Will Rock certainly deserves the fine production it is getting at City Theatre, under the direction of Christine Nicholson. The story of “Steeltown, USA,” where everyone is held under the thumb of tycoon Mister Mister (Luther Hansen)—at least until they form a union—is set to the musical styles of the period, which means a little jazzy, a little croon-ish, a little silly and all requiring good pipes. Fortunately, the cast is up to the task for the most part, with special nods to the vocal work of Nickii Arcado (as Moll), John Hancock (as Reverend Salvation) and Juan Ramos (as Editor Daily). A fantastic set, designed by Shawn Weinsheink, helps Nicholson keep the pace at a good clip by operating on multiple levels and with easily moved, period-suggesting pieces. In addition, the show features a fine five-piece live orchestra. But the real treat is when Roderick Hickman (as Larry Foreman) takes the stage, invoking the spirit of the fed-up working people who wish to keep a fair share of what they produce. Hickman’s excellent voice and powerful presence is only heightened during the climax of the play, when he and Hansen go mano a mano and the sparks fly. This fine staging of a little-known work is an excellent example of the power of art: Almost 80 years after its first production, we once again have jobs disappearing, people losing their homes and a widening income inequality. It’s important to be reminded that when the wind blows—well, you know.

5

In the Red and Brown Water

Celebration Arts stages a top-notch production of Tarell Alvin McCraney’s melding of the contemporary African American experience with the pantheon of Yoruba gods. Jenabah Karoma is luminous as Oya, a young athlete whose plans are derailed by her sick mother. Then, she’s torn by thea love of the volatile Shango (Tory Scroggins) and the stable and hard-working Ogun (Tariq Elsiddig). Th, F, Sa 8pm; Su 2 pm. Through 3/14. $8-$15. Celebration Arts, 4469 D St.; (916) 455-2787; www.celebration arts.net. K.M.

5

Italian Opera

Local playwright Leslie Lewinter-Suskind wrote Italian Opera as a graduate student in the late 1990s. The story of two well-to-do couples and a wisecracking maid is presented as an operetta with

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4

The Lyons

The Lyons is a sly, clever and very dark comedy that explores the explosive dynamics of family faced with the finality of the patriarch’s death. Gathered around a hospital bed, the Lyons—dying father, nonplussed mother, a daughter and an issue-laden son—finally spill out secrets and pent-up resentments with not a filter in place. The play is the first of Resurrection Theater’s 2015 season, and showcases the theater’s continued fearlessness in dramatic choices. Director Kellie Yvonne Raines makes sure the talented cast stays true to play’s darkness and truth. F 8pm, Sa 8pm. Through 3/21. $15-$20. Resurrection Theatre, at the Wilkerson Theater, 1723 25th St.; (916) 223-9568; www.resurrection theatre.com. P.R.

good

4 WELL-doNE

5 SUBLiME–doN’T MiSS

Short reviews by Jim Carnes, Kel Munger and Patti Roberts.

PHoTo CoURTESy oF HARRiS CENTER FoR THE ARTS

Matt K. Miller as the rock-star politician Caesar, the excellent Jeb Burris as Brutus and the charismatic Ryan Snyder as Marc Antony. When he says, “Lend me your ears,” he’s already caught your eyes. The downcard, as it were, also is strong—with, among others, Melinda Parrett as Casca and Melisa Pereyra as Cassius. Casca and Cassius are traditionally played by males, but the non-traditional casting works particularly well here because as it adds a certain sexual element to the Brutus-Cassius relationship. The action takes place on a timeless-looking stage of arches and passageways (designed by Eric Broadwater) that facilitates exits and entrances. The costumes (by McKayla Butym) are both appropriate (suits, running clothes and the like) and eye-catching. Caesar has a William Shatner in Star Trek look about him—excellent. Based on actual events—the 44 B.C. conspiracy against the Roman ruler, his assassination and the aftermath for those back-stabbing (and front-stabbing) conspirators—Julius Caesar has parallels today: The unholy alliance of money and politics, the “branding” of candidates and the cult of personality that surrounds many political figures. It’s like a history lesson in preparation for the future. Ω

This one gets five stars and a double fist-pump.

The Cradle Will Rock

numerous ingenious references to famous, classical operas— though appreciated even by those with a passing familiarity of the musical art form. Director Ray Tatar gathers together a talented five-member cast that hits all the right notes, both dramatically and musically. F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 3/22. $15-$20. California Stage, California Stage Theatre at the R25 Arts Center, 1721 25th St.; (916) 451-5822; www.calstage.org. P.R.

This show is like hanging out with your cool cousin: Einstein.

Quirky genius The 1988 film Young Einstein was poorly received in America not only because of its stupid humor, but also because of how unlike Albert Einstein Yahoo Serious’ character actually was. And it’s a shame because the real Einstein was a fascinating person and didn’t need any embellishment. Showing all of Einstein’s real sides was the motivation behind actor-writer Ed Metzger’s one-man play Einstein: The Practical Bohemian, which opened in 1978. The play has gone on to do wonderfully in the subsequent decades, and even got an endorsement from the Einstein family (Einstein’s first cousin even said that it felt like sitting down with his cousin). The play touches on Einstein’s insatiable desire to understand the mysteries of the universe, but also demonstrates the man behind the scientist—the guy who dreamed of being a violinist, who needed directions to his own house, who wore mismatched thrift-store clothes, and who was genuinely a funny, charming human being. Einstein: The Practical Bohemian; 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 6; $21-$29. Harris Center for the Arts, 10 College Parkway in Folsom; www.harriscenter.net.

—Kel Munger

The Cradle Will Rock; 8 p.m. Friday, Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday; 2 p.m. matinee on Saturday, March 21; $10-$18. City Theatre in the Main Auditorium of the Performing Arts Center at Sacramento City College, 3835 Freeport Boulevard; www.citytheatre.net. Through March 22.

—Aaron Carnes

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Sacramento Vedanta Reading Group Every Friday 7:00 - 8:30 pm · Free admission Sacramento Yoga Center @ Sierra 2 Community Center, Room 6 2791 24th Street, Sacramento The whole world is your own. — Sri Sarada Devi Parking in back For more information please see www.SacVRG.org

Simply the second best The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel There is a delicate art to creating the title for a soulless, cash-grabbing sequel. Pitfalls abound—if you start titling franchise entries by numbers, by Daniel Barnes the films seem more and more obligatory the higher you count. That’s why we ultimately received Rocky Balboa instead of Rocky VI, Grudge Match instead of Rocky VII and a plague of locusts instead of Rocky VIII. Skyfall and Spectre sound awesome; Bond 23 and

2

Need Assistance with Applying for or Appealing Veterans Disability Benefits & Compensation? Contact: (916) 480-9200 Law Office of Steven H. Berniker, APC Veteran Advisor – Sgt Major (Ret) Daniel J. Morales Location: 2424 Arden Way, Suite 360 Sacramento, CA 95825

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“We’re number two!”

America's Greatest Big Band Show “A meticulously researched recreation g Era” of the Swing —Peter Donnelly, Australia

1 Poor

2 Fair

3 Good

COMMUNITY CENTER THEATER

Thursday, March 12

2 pm Matinee & 7:30 pm

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30   |   SN&R   |   03.05.15

4 Very Good

5 excellent

Bond 24 sound like soulless cash grabs. The colon has opened up new titling possibilities (e.g., Terminator: Salvation), allowing studios to perpetuate the notion that their movie franchises are institutions that will never die and therefore must be obeyed at all costs, but eventually you end up with a title as tortured as X-Men: Days of: Future?: Past!: Sponsored by Coca-Cola. Unless comedic self-satire is the entire intent—e.g., 22 Jump Street—the goal is to make the sequel seem like it isn’t a soulless cash grab. Weary-sounding titles like Another 48 Hours or Are We Done Yet? highlight the slavish and obligatory nature of those films, announcing their mercenary, cash-grabbing intentions with heads down and hands out. John Madden’s The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is an obligatory sequel to his 2012 sleeper hit The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (it grossed over $130 million worldwide against a budget of $10 million), and its inferiority complex is built right in to the title. It freely admits that it’s The Second Best! Forget about outdoing the awful original; this is a film that will clearly settle for second place. If nothing else, The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, which figures to replicate the box-office success of the original among its core demographic of Anglophile seniors, could ignite a truth-in-movie-titling revolution. I look forward to more brutally honest, deeply cynical, eat-your-slop franchise titles such as Transformers 5: The Third or Fourth Best One So Far, Captain America: A Clearly Inferior

Sequel, Spider-Man: F*** You, Pay Me, and The Worst Mission: Impossible Movie Ever Made. Of course, the grand irony here is that The Second Best is actually a little bit better than The Best. Both films are still quite terrible. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a two-hour long catnap, affable and picturesque and well-lit enough to remain watchable between long, slow blinks, but also about as pointless and dull as a movie can get. Madden and screenwriter Ol Parker spell out every dramatic problem and its obvious solution in the film’s precredits sequence, and then they spend 122 minutes obstinately sticking to that plan, laying only the most hackneyed narrative roadblocks in the path. In one of the ensemble storylines, Judi Dench’s hardnosed spinster and Bill Nighy’s dizzy divorcee nurse an attraction to each other that they’re afraid to act on. Will they conquer their fears and find love together? Um … yes. For all of the lip service paid to exploring new horizons and celebrating the diverse lives of seniors, The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a film designed for people who never want to be surprised or challenged again. Still, affable and dull and unsurprising are almost welcome qualities after the meanspirited 2012 original, which followed a motley group of British pensioners who retire to a ramshackle, would-be seniors resort in India. That film’s pandering and slyly hateful nature can be summed up by the arc of the Dench character—she enters the story as a privileged white woman helplessly demanding better service from a dark-skinned telephone operator, and by the end of the film gets a job haranguing dark-skinned telephone operators. This is seen as a noble journey.

This is a film designed for people who never want to be surprised or challenged again. It was a genuinely loathsome film, but The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel feels more like several late-in-the-run episodes of a lifeless and harmless BBC show that I would never watch were it stitched together Frankenstein-style into a movie-like creature. The original cast reassembles, with Richard Gere replacing Tom Wilkinson, whose character had the good sense to pass away in the first film; racist stereotypes and moldy hijinks ensue. Ω


by daniel barnes & JiM lane

3

The DUFF

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That’s “Designated Ugly Fat Friend” —and while our heroine Bianca (Mae Whitman) is neither ugly nor fat, she still serves to make her best friends (Skyler Samuels, Bianca A. Santos) look better. So she reluctantly enlists the neighbor boy she can barely stand (Robbie Amell) to coach her out of her DUFF-hood. Josh A. Cagan’s script has some cornball gimmicks and it cuts the sex in Kody Keplinger’s novel to preserve a PG-13 rating. But it also (with a big help from Whitman, finally ready for her close-up) softens the edges of Keplinger’s snotty, full-of-herself Bianca. As in any romantic comedy, star chemistry is essential, and this movie’s got it: Whitman and Amell have an easy rapport that probably makes Cagan’s dialogue sound snappier than it is and smooths Ari Sandel’s sometimes jittery direction. J.L.

2

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and goes nowhere. It’s rare that established actors like Wilde, Duplass and (in a tiny role) Amy Aquino turn up in trash like this (maybe they lost a bet); usually it’s just eager nobodies desperate for a foot in the Hollywood door—which pretty much describes the rest of the cast: Sarah Bolger, Evan Peters, Donald Glover. J.L.

3

McFarland, USA

A high-school athletic coach (Kevin Costner) loses job after job because of his short fuse, eventually landing in McFarland, Calif., where he hatches a plan to build a cross-country track team from the farmworker kids at his new school. Based on the true story of Coach Jim White but heavily fictionalized (that business about the short fuse, for example), the movie bears a more-than-passing resemblance to Spare Parts, which came out earlier this year, with running taking the place of robotics but with the same result: Hispanic kids take on privileged teams from tonier, better-funded schools and win the gold (in McFarland’s case, year after year). Clichés are rife in Chris Cleveland, Bettina Gilois and Grant Thompson’s script, but director Niki Caro keeps them under control and draws strong performances all around. J.L.

Much as he did with Kickass and X-Men: First Class, writer-director Matthew Vaughn attempts to cram his gleefully sociopathic sensibility into the shape of a genre blockbuster in the entertaining mixed bag Kingsman: The Secret Service. The result is a highly watchable and often disturbingly tone-deaf spy spoof, a film that is deliriously over-the-top and yet not quite fun. At least Colin Firth has some fun sending up his own British upper-crustiness as Harry Hart, a.k.a Galahad, a loyal and extremely well-kempt superspy in a top-secret organization of wealthy tailors (don’t ask). When the time comes to bring a new member on to the team, Harry recruits troubled teen Eggsy (likeable newcomer Taron Egerton) into the competition, which coincides with a plot by Samuel L. Jackson’s lisping evil genius to wipe out the human race. It’s juvenile, but there are enough exploding heads to hold your attention. D.B.

4

A Most Violent Year

Considering that the film is fairly humorless, the funniest aspect of A Most Violent Year might be that killer title. Yes, the film takes place in 1981 NYC, a preGiuliani time of astronomic crime rates, but the title tees up expectations of intensity and catharsis that writer-director J.C. Chandor has no intention of swinging at. Cinematically speaking, Chandor keeps a tight strike zone, and the measured, confident, almost chilly tone that permeates the film is largely responsible for the cold shoulder it received throughout the awards season. A Most Violent Year shares some stylistic and narrative DNA with Scorsese’s Goodfellas, but Chandor’s film inherited little of that 1990 classic’s energetic, eager-to-please temperament. Goodfellas is about a man who “always wanted to be a gangster,” while the mostly righteous A Most Violent Year is about a man who wants to walk, talk and dress like a gangster, without actually being a gangster. D.B.

The Lazarus Effect

A group of medical researchers develops a way of bringing dead animals back to life; when one of the researchers (Olivia Wilde) is accidentally electrocuted in the lab, her partner/fiancé (Mark Duplass) uses the experimental process on her. The premise has the makings of a thoughtful thriller, but not in the fumbling hands of director David Gelb and writers Luke Dawson and Jeremy Slater. Instead, they provide an incoherent catalog of worn-out horror movie clichés with a story that makes no sense

NEWS

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WED/THUR: 9:45PM

change

Focus

After a solid decade of dreck, the seductive con man rom-com Focus allows star Will Smith to slip into a little suave adult sophistication, while rehabbing his image by playing the familiar part of the brash, smooth-talking charmer. The con game genre also offers him an opportunity to investigate and penetrate his celebrity facade, but writer-directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa are all about facades, and Focus is a film that exists entirely on its enticing surfaces. In the moment, it’s an entertaining enough hustle, but scratch the paint and a lot of formulaic chintz starts to show. All of the cinematic “glamour” on display—the lounge-pop soundtrack, the subdued sky bar lighting, the Out of Sight jump cuts—is part of Ficarra and Requa’s con, just osmosis of style from dozens of better movies. The whole film unravels the second you step away. D.B.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

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ENDS THUR., 3/6

WED/THUR: 1:20, 4:10, 7:00PM

FOR ADVANCE TICKETS PLEASE VISIT FANDANGO.COM

Hot Tub Time Machine 2

BEFORE

WED/THUR: 1:10, 3:25, 5:35, 7:50, 9:50PM FRI, SUN: 12:05, 4:50PM SAT: 4:50PM MON, TUES: 12:05PM

Who’s conning who?

Two of the stars of the 2010 movie (Rob Corddry and Craig Robinson; John Cusack wisely dropped out) plunge back into that time-traveling spa (with Clark Duke, back as Corddry’s dorky son) to thwart an attempted murder, but they wind up in the future instead of the past. The first movie was a stupid mess but a guilty pleasure; this one is stupider, messier and no pleasure at all. Director Steve Pink’s direction and Josh Heald’s script are, against all odds, even more slovenly than they were the first time, tailored to appeal to sniggering 11-year-old boys (who, because of the nonstop profanity, nudity and sex, can’t get in to see the movie) and entirely laughless. The first movie was fun but instantly forgettable; the idea that we’ve spent five years wondering what happens next is downright insulting. J.L.

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WED/THUR: 1:40, 4:25, 7:05, 9:40PM FRI-TUES: 2:20, 7:20, 9:45PM NO WED 7:05 • NO MON/TUES 7:20PM

®

The E.L. James bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey is famous for bringing BDSM sex into the trash-novel mainstream, but this adaptation from director Sam TaylorJohnson (Nowhere Boy) is just a sleek and dull piece of lifestyle porn. Taylor-Johnson seems far more interested in fetishizing sports cars and tailored suits than whips and chains, and the vanilla sex scenes quickly become monotonous and familiar, offering the same oblique, candlelit tracking shots of undulating body parts that we’ve been getting for decades. This isn’t the next Basic Instinct; it’s the next Sliver. Dakota Johnson stars as virginal lip-biter Anastasia Steele, and Jamie Dornan plays the mysterious Christian Grey, a Seattle tech billionaire who entices Anastasia to become his sexual submissive. Both actors are trapped by the rigid banality of their characters, and they fail to manufacture any chemistry—without that heat, this is just a story about a contract negotiation. D.B.

3

BiRDMAN ®

PIECE OF WORK.” “ENGROSSING.” - Lou Lumenick, NEW YORK POST OSCAR WINNER! BEST ACTRESS “A STUPENDOUS - Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

Fifty Shades of Grey

1

WINNER! 4 OSCARS INCLUDING BEST PICTURE

2

Seventh Son

There are countless similarities between Segrey Bodrov’s inept fantasy Seventh Son and last year’s massive dud RIPD, only here star Jeff Bridges is given the flavorless Ben Barnes for an apprentice

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instead of the wise-cracking Ryan Reynolds. Seventh Son runs a relatively lean 102 minutes, and it feels as though generous chunks of plot and character development have been stripped away in favor of nonstop CGI action and peril. The film is basically a rich man’s Uwe Boll version of Dungeons & Dragons—a lot of tacky visuals, world-building mumbojumbo and gooey CGI creatures encased in a narrative vacuum. It has the scale of a nine-figure studio blockbuster, but not the look. Seventh Son screened for critics at the Esquire IMAX, and while some films play better on the big screen, this one demands to be seen on the smallest screen possible. An iPhone would be too large. D.B.

4

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

4

Still Alice

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916.454.3668 | 3939 J St, Ste. 270 | Sacramento 95819

MELLOW ME OUT MARCH SPA SPECIAL

Nickelodeon TV’s dorky hero (voiced by Tom Kenny) ventures onto dry land (and into something vaguely resembling our universe) in search of a stolen sandwich recipe, the loss of which has brought ruin and devastation to his hometown of Bikini Bottom. The script by Glenn Berger and Jonathan Aibel (the guys behind Kung Fu Panda), from a story by director Paul Tibbitt and series creator Stephen Hillenberg, is wacky cubed, with a nonstop stampede of gags as frantic as those in the Rio and Madagascar franchises—only much, much funnier. Tibbitt and his crew cleverly blend ink-and-paint animation, CGI and live action, and the result is great fun, slyly calculated to convulse the kiddies and keep their parents alternately chuckling and laughing out loud. Antonio Banderas adds to the fun as the pirate villain. J.L.

75 MINUTE MASSAGE NOW ONLY

A distinguished Columbia University linguistics professor (Julianne Moore) finds herself suddenly forgetting simple words, getting lost on her own campus and suffering other baffling lapses. At the age of 50, she is developing early-onset Alzheimer’s—worse yet, it’s hereditary, and she may have passed it on to her adult children (Kate Bosworth, Hunter Parrish, Kristen Stewart). Writer-directors Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland (adapting Lisa Genova’s novel) avoid the weepy melodrama of diseaseof-the-week TV movies in favor of low-key naturalism, anchored by Moore’s subtle, textured performance and strong support from her screen family (including Alec Baldwin as her loving but flawed husband). It’s a quietly harrowing portrait of a family losing the woman they know—and a woman losing herself. J.L.

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Mar 5 SAC BEER WEEK: LOVELY DAY FOR A GUINNESS (GUINNESS FOOD PAIRINGS & MORE) Mar 6 LIVE MUSIC BY: IN THE NO SAC BEER WEEK: SAINT ARCHER PINT NIGHT 5-8PM Mar 7 LIVE MUSIC BY: HEARTBREAK TIME MACHINE SAC BEER WEEK: FEATURING LOCAL CRAFT BREWS Mar 8 LIVE MUSIC BY: ALEX VINCENT (2-5PM) SAC BEER WEEK: "KILL THE SAC BEER WEEK KEGS"

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The members of Drop Dead Red invite listeners  to get drunk, cry, curse and laugh The Carly DuHain Band started teasing the release of its second album InsideFires in 2012. It’s 2015, and the record was just completed. by Janelle Bitker What the hell happened? “A shit ton of stuff,” DuHain says. j a ne l l e b @ A shit ton of great stuff. But also some ne w s re v i e w . c o m terrible stuff. And a bit of an identity crisis. “We found ourselves getting pigeon-holed into categories we didn’t belong in,” DuHain says. Because of one country-esque drinking song, the band got labeled as Americana. By everyone. Including this publication. But DuHain writes rock music—bluesy, alternative, gutsy rock ’n’ roll. PHOTO BY EVAN DURAN

TRIVIA MONDAYS @ 6:30PM OPEN MIC WEDNESDAYS SIGN-UPS @ 7:30PM KARAOKE THURSDAYS @ 7:30PM

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32   |   SN&R   |   03.05.15

Celebrate Drop Dead Red’s record release at 10 p.m. on Friday, March 13, at Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub, 2708 J Street. Cover is $10. For more information, visit www.face book.com/ dropdeadredmusic.

In December of 2013, the Carly DuHain Band evolved into Drop Dead Red, named after DuHain’s tattoo of a sassy pinup bearing the same three words. And DuHain works hard to make sure everyone knows that Drop Dead Red rocks. Drop Dead Red still features guitarist Gabe Aiello and drummer Tony Ledesma (Autumn Sky, Odame Sucks). Joe Castro (All About Rockets) now plays bass. In January, Brittney Vanessa joined the team, providing guitar and backup vocals. Most importantly, the focal point remains: DuHain’s rich, booming voice, electric personality and haunting lyrics. “I write so people know they’re not alone,” she says. “We’re all brokenhearted and messed up at some point. Then we can get together and laugh about it.” Song has long been DuHain’s vehicle for sharing horrifying, personal tales. InsideFires promises to be heady, emotional listening. “The album covers physical and emotional abuse, self-abuse, self-harm, being haunted by bad choices and relationships and where you

may have gone wrong in your life,” DuHain says, adding that it also touches on overcoming physical ailments. DuHain has lupus, fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis, which has at least once sent her from stage directly to hospital. DuHain had also been, admittedly, partying pretty hard the past few years. She makes regular jokes about guzzling down Jameson, and Drop Dead Red is proudly known as a drinking band of buddies. But DuHain’s health problems are seriously taxing, so the band told her to slow down and chill out. “It was quite an experience to spend more time alone, in my head, taking it easy at home,” she says. “It was the best move I ever made. I got really serious about the music.” In conclusion, band changes, health problems and financial problems because of said health problems caused the delay of InsideFires. Plus some other stuff. It took one whole year to record the album, and in December, a successful Kickstarter campaign wrapped up production costs. Out of 11 tracks, only five from DuHain’s years-ago vision actually made it on the record. Drop Dead Red is stoked to finally drop it at Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub on Friday, March 13. The record release doubles as a benefit show for the Front Street Animal Shelter, with raffle prizes as varied as a hand-knitted sweater to a private dinner prepared by a local chef. The members of Drop Dead Red are all very passionate about their pets—DuHain’s 15-year-old cat’s bladder crystals also may have caused some financial delay with InsideFires. But what comes next? DuHain emphasizes that this is going to be a big year for Drop Dead Red—hopefully the year the band goes from “project to success.” A Pacific Northwest tour is in the works. And DuHain already has an evolution of sound in mind, with a permanent brass section and cello.

“ I write so people know they’re not alone. ” Carly DuHain singer-songwriter, Drop Dead Red “I’ve been stuck in the ’90s for a long time, but I’d like to add more sweeping, emotional, instrumental sounds,” she says. “Nothing too indie darling—we’re never going to write a song about spoons in our kitchen.” For example, if you buy InsideFires, there’s a bonus downloadable track about drinking around a fire pit. Heavily. Hide it from the kids. “There are a lot of bad words on there,” DuHain says, laughing. “It’s not safe.” Ω


2ND ANNUAL

CAR SHOW

All hail the queen Royal treatment: Last Thursday’s opera recital at the Mondavi Center was probably unlike any performance that its audience members had seen to date. Instead of the crowd watching from the seats, those fortunate to snag one of the $125 or $250 tickets sat at tables on stage with the artist mere feet away—a “stage cabaret” style of seating inside Jackson Hall. The artist? Internationally renowned mezzo-soprano Susan Graham. Dressed in a beautiful multicolored dress, the opera singer looked like true royalty the minute she set foot on stage, adorned in elaborate jewelry that worked wonders with her curvy figure. Graham gave herself a vocal workout singing more than 30 compositions in over eight different languages. From Poulenc to Tchaikovsky, Schumann to Berlioz, the themes explored love and misfortune. Meanwhile, the audience enjoyed wine, coffee, tea, fruits, hors d’oeuvres, pastries and desserts—all on the custom drapery-accented stage. A five-star performance, indeed. Swedish metal: Even with its 11 p.m. curfew, there was no shortage of enthusiasm and unbridled mayhem at last Sunday’s Ace of Spades show. The capacity bill included All That Remains, Wovenwar and In Flames. Unlike most Ace Of Spades national shows that feature a bevy of opening acts, this was a well-oiled package tour with three touring bands. Gothenburg, Sweden’s In Flames hit the stage right on time without any intro tape or additional fanfare. Frontman Anders Fridén immediately got the crowd going berserk with the opening number, “Embody the Invisible,” from the band’s 1999 breakthrough record Colony. The group followed up with the title track from its following record Clayman, which had everyone headbanging in unison. In Flames played straight through to the last number, “My Sweet Shadow,” sans an encore, yet even the most hardcore metal fans left with smiles on their faces.

EVERY FRI & SAT 9PM

FRI MAR 6

GROOVE THANG PARTY DANCE COVER BAND / $5

SAT MAR 7

SKID ROSES

FRI MAR 6 – SUN MAR 8

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SUNDAY APRIL 26TH 10AM - 3PM

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PRE REGISTER ON -$15 ENTRY @ THE SHOW - $20

COMEDY HYPNOSIS

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FUNK ROCKERS FUNK / ROCK / GROOVE / $5

EVERY THURSDAY

JUDGED ENTRIES - 60’S - 90’S

FRI MAR 20 - SUN MAR 22

ACE GUILLEN

/ STUDIO CE PA S E IC T PRAC AT G IN T STAR TH N O $325/M

WITH RYAN NOACK

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT:

Laughsunlimited.com Call Club for showtimes, prices and reservation (916) 446-5905 • 446-8128 Two item minimum - 17 and over

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INSIDE STRIKES UNLIMITED

Sammies: If you somehow haven’t voted for your favorite artists in the 23rd annual Sacramento Area Music Awards yet, do it already! You have until Wednesday, March 11. Visit www.sammies.com.

—Eddie Jorgensen

’Tis the season: Sacramento’s festival culture richens this year with First Festival, a celebration of all things local, crafty and unique. Three stages, 18 local bands, food trucks, artists, crafters and small businesses will all congregate BEFORE   |   NEWS

ENTERTAINMENT

THINK FREE.

at River Walk Park in West Sacramento on Saturday, May 23, from noon to 10 p.m. for the first, hopefully annual, start to the festival season. For free. Organizers Danielle Vincent and Ashley Rastad are boutique owners in town—of Firefly and Moonrise Boutique, respectively—and First Festival was born out of their love of festival fashions. You know, floral headbands, glittery makeup, henna and the like. Why not create a music festival that helps you get ready for other music festivals? And instead of selling tickets, let all that money just go to vendors? River Walk Park is long, narrow and grassy—great for blankets and picnics, and not to be confused with TBD Fest’s dusty riverfront location. Ten food trucks will come from SactoMoFo’s arsenal, including Krush Burger, Drewski’s Hot Rod Kitchen and Smokers Wild BBQ. Local breweries are expected to pour. The lineup, meanwhile, hits rock, metal, punk, blues, synth-pop and folk—definitely eclectic. “Each stage will have a theme, so if you don’t like metal, you’ll know not to go to the metal stage,” Vincent says. Known bands so far include A Mile Till Dawn, Julie and the Jukes, Slaves of Manhattan, the Westwards, Drop Dead Red, Humble Wolf, Whiskey & Stitches, Dream in Red, D.U.S.T., Merdog, Rebel Radio, Stationary, Thick Soup, Be Brave Bold Robot, Surviving the Era and Sydney Jones and Company. Three additional bands are expected to be announced within the next week or two, including the headliner and at least one hip-hop act. There might be fun additional performances too, like fire dancing. May 23 falls on the calendar during the Memorial Day weekend, so yes, it does interfere with the four-day Sacramento Music Festival in Old Sacramento. Vincent says the overlap wasn’t intentional, but she also isn’t worried. After all, First Festival is a free event and Sacramento Music Festival’s earlybird passes cost $110. Learn more at www.firstfestivalsacramento.com.

LIVE

—Janelle Bitker

jan el l eb @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

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06FRI

06FRI

06FRI

08SUN

Anonymous 4

Autumn Electric

Evening of Bitchin’ Badass Blues

Joel Marckx F@%! Cancer Benefit Show

Mondavi Center, 8 p.m., $21-$42 In 1865 Congress passed the Thirteenth  Amendment, Abraham Lincoln was inaugurated for his second term as president, was  CLASSICAL assassinated a month  later and the Civil War  came to an end. To commemorate the war’s  end and relate personal stories of individuals  and families from the North and the South,  Anonymous 4’s new album 1865 is a selection  of songs and instrumentals drawn from theater and America’s heartland. Special guest  Bruce Molsky will join the all-female quartet  for this show, a departure from the group’s  traditional repertoire: adaptations of 12th-  and 13th-century chants and polyphony to  women’s voices. The group’s been together  for nearly 30 years. 9399 Old Davis Road in  Davis, http://anonymous4.com.

—Trina L. Drotar

Blue Lamp, 6 p.m., $5 For a four-piece progressive rock band from  Seattle, Autumn Electric makes a whole lot of  noise—with keys, synth, melodica, flute, sax,  banjo and synth flutes on top of all your standard rock instrumentation. Sometimes sparse,  but usually orchestral, Autumn Electric experiments with both folk and psychedelic sounds,  varied rhythms and beats to create a truly  unusual—but still highly listenable—storytelling experience. Check  PROG ROCK out the band’s rock  opera Star Being Earth Child, about an alien,  a human child, friendship and environmental  awareness, and prepare to be blown away by  ambition alone. Local eclectic-doer Be Brave  Bold Robot and Modesto’s Third World Empire  are also on the bill. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard,  www.autumn-electric.com.

—Janelle Bitker

Crest Theatre, 7:30 p.m., $35-$55 Three storied blues masters are set to deliver  some raucous party music: Plying his rock  and blues trade for more than 50 years, Elvin  Bishop (pictured) remains relevant, still putting out new music like 2014’s Can’t Even Do  Wrong Right. Blues chanteuse Bettye Lavette,  whose vocal career also spans five decades— and who in 2014 released a no-holds-barred  biography and a CD that reinterpreted tunes  by Bob Dylan, the Black Keys and Gnarls  BLUES Barkley—will also be on hand.  Finally, “newcomer” Tommy  Castro, who’s been dishing out gritty blues  for “only” about 30 years, will lay down highenergy sounds with his band, the Painkillers.  1013 K Street, www.elvinbishopmusic.com.

Old Ironsides, 1:30 p.m., $10 It’s no secret that cancer sucks and has  taken too many lives. Fortunately, in times of  desperation, we see who our real friends are.  ROCK Joel Marckx (pictured) is a dear  friend of the bands who’ve donated  their time and efforts to help him in his ongoing battle against the disease. He’s currently  receiving treatments to combat his bout of  debilitating—and possibly life-threatening— pancreatic cancer. Rally the troops and show  up en masse for this matinee show which ends  in time for y’all to be in bed by 9:30 p.m. On the  bill: Whoopie Qat, 58 Fury, Fatso, MDSO, MAU,  S.W.I.M., and Hilary Marckx. 1901 10th Street,  www.facebook.com/events/545793392190913.

—Eddie Jorgensen

—Alan Sheckter

ON STAGE AT THE

STATE THEATRE Thursday, March 12, 6:30 pm $10 Adults/$5 Kids 17 & Under Traveling Lantern Theatre Company

“Greek Mythology for Kids” Friday, March 13, 7:30 pm $15

“Green Fields of America” With Joe and Paula McHugh

Saturday, March 14 • 7:30 pm • $20 River City Chorale’s

“Steppin’ Out On Broadway” Cinema At The State

All Day, Saturday, March 7

Wild & Scenic Film Festival

On Tour 27 Films! Kids Films 10 am - 12 pm $5 for all tickets Afternoon/Evening Sessions 4 pm - 10 pm $18 general/$9 students Note: No films are repeated Thursday, March 19 • 7 pm • $6 Oscar Winner For Best Picture

Birdman

985 Lincoln Way, Auburn • 530-885-0156 www. livefromauburn.com

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08SUN

09MON

11WED

11WED

Dark Time Sunshine

Fallujah

PointDexter

PRhyme

Blue Lamp, 8 p.m., $10

The Boardwalk, 6 p.m., $10

Seattle duo Dark Time Sunshine blends  classic drum breaks with burbling textured  beds suggestive of the Postal Service.  Producer Zavala’s drifting synth melodies  are the nightlight amidst the oft stormy  soundscapes and crashing breakbeats raining down on rapper Onry Ozzborn’s blunt  sputtering flow. As a sometimes member  of Grayskul, Ozzborn’s recorded alongside  Cage, Slug and Aesop Rock—whose DNA can  be found in his literate, introspective rhyme.  HIP-HOP It’s been three years since  DTS’ third album, Anx, though  last year brought the upbeat free single  “No Worries,” which sounds like Foster the  People schooled by El-P in the chill room at  the local rave. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard,  www.twitter.com/drktimesunshine.

Sacramento State University Union, noon, no cover

San Francisco’s Fallujah has certainly not  been sitting idle since the release of its latest record, The Flesh Prevails, on Unique  Leader records. The quintet’s been touring  METAL incessantly over the winter and  looks to finish up its run near  the close of March. Fans of technical, atmospheric death metal should enjoy the many  tempo changes and attention to detail found  on standout tracks like “Starlit Path” and  “Levitation.” Unlike many of the bands on  Unique Leader that sound similar to Deeds  Of Flesh (the label’s most popular catalog  seller), this group finds itself in league with  such company as Nocturnus, Pestilence and  other progressive-leaning metal bands.   9426 Greenback Lane in Orangevale,   www.facebook.com/fallujahofficial.

—Chris Parker

Local four-piece, heavy alt-rock group  PointDexter recently released a video for its  song “Blood to Black,” one of its particularly  moody tunes. It follows a disturbed girl that  stalks and kills everyone in the band except  one—who she ties up and sips wine with. The  song has the same dark, eerie quality the  video has. Yet, on other tunes, PointDexter  delivers an upbeat, ultra-hooky pop-punk  ROCK sound with plenty of hard-hitting  guitar syncopation. The name  PointDexter is a reference to the group’s  mad-scientist approach of mixing different  influences: There’s a bit of classic rock, blues,  post-grunge and emo-punk in there. The  quartet takes a lot of left turns in style and  in tone. 6000 J Street, www.facebook.com/ PointDexterMusic.

—Eddie Jorgensen

Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub, 8 p.m., $20-$25 To the folks poppin’ all that yang about the  lack of “real” hip-hop: Stop complaining and  go see PRhyme. The breakdown: DJ Premier  makes dope beats. Source magazine has  HIP-HOP him listed as one of the top  20 producers of all time.  His tracks, like the Gangstarr jam “Mass  Appeal” (RIP Guru) and Jeru the Damaja’s  “Come Clean,” create wide-open headnodding spaces for gifted emcees to truly  shine. Royce Da 5’9” is a perennial hip-hop  all-star. He’s ghostwritten for Diddy and Dr.  Dre, done a few killer collabs with Eminem,  and dropped a few hot joints on the solo tip.  Together, they are PRhyme—straight up   hip-hop. Shut up and go. 2708 J Street,   www.prhymeofficial.com.

—Ngaio Bealum

—Aaron Carnes

LIVE MUSIC. DRINKS. ART CIRQUE | MARCH 12

fli #crockerartmix crockerartmuseum.org BEFORE

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NIGHTBEAT BAR 101

101 Main St., Roseville; (916) 774-0505

List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

THURSDAY 3/5

FRIDAY 3/6

Karaoke Night, 7:30pm, no cover

TYQUAN THOMAS, DREGO, JERICHO ROSE, SHILA; 8pm, call for cover

DARK TIME SUNSHINE, GOLDINI BAGWELL, CAM, RAFAEL VIGILANTICS; 8pm

Open mic, 8pm M; THE TWILIGHT SAD, PORT ST. WILLOW; 8pm Tu, $12-$14

BAM BAM, RANSOM, PAYDAY, SAV SOULS; 8pm, $10

THIRD WORLD EMPIRE, AUTUMN ELECTRIC, BE BRAVE BOLD ROBOT; 6pm, $5

THE BOARDWALK

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 BELOW; 7pm, $12.50

ROBERT DELONG, IN THE VALLEY

MAC MALL, SMOOV E, NEF THE THE TRAGIC THRILLS, TRAPPER PHAROAH, BEAST MODE, TY H; 7pm, $18 SCHOEPP, THIS FAREWELL; 6:30pm, $10

FALLUJAH, ARCHSPIRE; 6pm M, $10; JOYWAVE, NIGHT TERRORS OF 1927; 7pm Tu

BROOKSIDE RESTAURANT & BAR

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

YADAO TRIO, 8pm, no cover

Trivia night, 7pm Tu, no cover; Karaoke, 9pm W, no cover

9819 Horn Rd., (916) 361-1797

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

JACKIE GREENE, LAUREN SHERA; 8pm, $41-$43

JACKIE GREENE, LAUREN SHERA; 8pm, $41-$43

COUNTRY CLUB SALOON

WHISKEY SIDEWINDER, 9pm-1am, no cover

THIRDSTAR WEST, 9pm-1am, no cover

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384 4007 Taylor Rd., Loomis; (916) 652-4007

THE COZMIC CAFÉ

594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481

Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

JORDAN SUCKLEY, RAY REVERSE; 10pm, call for cover

DIVE BAR

Deuling Pianos, 9pm, no cover

DAVID SOLANO, 10pm, call for cover DRUNKEN KUNG FU, 9pm, no cover

MARTY COHEN & THE SIDEKICKS, 8pm, no cover

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

DELTA CITY RAMBLERS, MILLION DOLLAR GIVEAWAY; 9pm, $5

G STREET WUNDERBAR

ONE SHARP MIND, STORYTELLERS, JAY TWO & ESEF; 9pm, $5

THE GOLDEN BEAR

DJ Shaun Slaughter, 10pm, no cover

DJ Crook One, 10pm, no cover

DJ El Conductor, 10pm, no cover

1603 J St., (916) 476-5076

STEPHAN HOGAN, COLLEEN HEAUSER; 9pm, no cover

BRANDED, 9pm, no cover

HALFTIME BAR & GRILL

GROOVE THANG, 9pm-midnight, $5

SKID ROSES, 9pm-midnight, $5

ZEPPARELLA, 9pm, $18-$20

FOREVERLAND, 9pm, $15-$18

2326 K St., (916) 441-2252

GOLDFIELD TRADING POST 5681 Lonetree Blvd., Rocklin; (916) 626-6366

HARLOW’S

THE OUTLAWS, BLACKHAWK; 8pm, $35

THE HIDEAWAY BAR & GRILL

Trash Rock Thursdays, 9pm, no cover

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693 2565 Franklin Blvd., (916) 455-1331

LUNA’S CAFÉ & JUICE BAR 1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

3/10 7PM $10ADV

HOLLOW WOOD

3/6 8PM $18ADV

ZEPPARELLA

ALL FEMALE LED ZEPPELIN TRIBUTE

3/11 7PM $20ADV

PRHYME (DJ PREMIER + ROYCE DA 5’9)

3/12 5:30PM $10ADV

THE BASH

3/7 9PM $15ADV

FOREVERLAND

(MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE)

3/8 6:30PM $15

FASHAWN (ALL AGES)

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03.05.15

A COUNTRY BATTLE OF THE BANDS 3/13 6PM $12ADV

THE DUSTBOWL REVIVAL

FASHAWN, 7:30pm, $15

HOLLOW WOOD, 8pm Tu, $10-$12; PRHYME, 8pm W, $20-$25

Sunday Sinema, 8pm, no cover

Broadway Beat, 9pm M; Cactus Pete, 8pm Tu; Twisted Trivia, 8pm W, no cover

KARATE MOUNTAIN, RGB, THE WAY OUT; 8pm, $5

2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com 3/5 7PM $35ADV

Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; Northern Soul and Cornhole, 8pm W

BIG STICKY MESS, EVAN DALY BLUES BAND; 9:45pm, call for cover

228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

THE OUTLAWS, BLACKHAWK

BOCA DO RIO, BIG STICKY MESS; 9pm W, no cover

SOLSA, 8pm, call for cover

3443 Laguna Blvd., Ste. 150, Elk Grove; (916) 226-2900

FOX & GOOSE

Social And Environmental Movie Night, 6:30pm W, $3

JONNY MOJO, 8pm, $8

DOUBLE NICKEL SMOKEHOUSE

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MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 3/9-3/11 Trivia Night, 6:30pm M, no cover; Open-mic night, 7:30pm W, no cover

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

1022 K St., (916) 737-5999

Hey local bands!

SUNDAY 3/8 ALEX VINCENT, 2-5pm, no cover

BLUE LAMP

DISTRICT 30

Want to be a hot show? Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

SATURDAY 3/7 HEARTBREAK TIME MACHINE, 9:30pm, no cover

COMING SOON 3/13 Drop Dead Red (CD Release) 3/14 Cheryl Wheeler 3/14 ZuhG (CD Release) 3/15 Branches 3/15 Hurray For The Riff Raff 3/16 Trash Talk / Ratking 3/17 Kool Keith 3/18 Kyle Kinane (from Comedy Central) 3/19 Moon Hooch, Scott Pemberton Trio 3/21 Felipe Esparza 3/22 HoneyHoney 3/24 !!! (Chk Chk Chk) 3/26 Tyrone Wells 3/27 Ewan Dobson 3/27 Mustache Harbor 3/28 Stillwood Sages 3/28 Doey Rock 3/29 Metalachi 3/30 Pete Rock / Slum Village 4/02 Johnny A 4/03 Wonderbread 5 4/04 Cream of Clapton 4/04 Saved by the 90s

Nebraska Mondays, M; Open-mic comedy, 8pm Tu; Comedy night, 8pm W, $5

RESTAURANT •• BAR BAR CLUB •• RESTAURANT COMEDY COMEDY CLUB

VOTED BEST COMEDY CLUB BY THE SACRAMENTO NEWS & REVIEW!

THURSDAY 3/5 - SATURDAY 3/7 FROM THE TONIGHT SHOW AND FOX SPORTS 1’S CROWD GOES WILD!

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CHRIS STORIN, RED SCOTT WEDNESDAY 3/8

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD COMEDY JAM WITH JIMMY EARLL AND FRIENDS WEDNESDAY 3/11

THE FAT - HOPE - LOVE TOUR

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SATURDAY 3/7

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MIDTOWN BARFLY

Dubstep, glitch-hop, house and electronThat Thing on Friday, EDM, 10pm, $5 ic deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover

The Midtown Moxies Burlesque: A Salute Goth, darkwave, industrial, electronic deejay dancing, 9pm-3am, call for cover to Sacramento, 8pm, $10-$15

Swing lessons $6, 7:30pm Tu; Salsa lessons with Nicole Lazo, 7:30pm W, $5

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN

MEGAN, GAGE, MOLLY PEASE; 8:30pm, $5

TONY GALIOTO, SPENCER HOFFMAN AND PARIE WOOD, ORABEL; 8:30pm, $5

DUST BOWL DAWN, JULIE & AIYANA, THE POLYMERS; 8:30pm, $5

Jazz, 8pm M; ALDEN KNIGHT, CODY BENJAMIN, WHERE WITH ALL; 8:30pm W, $5

OLD IRONSIDES

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504

Karaoke w/ Sac. City Entertainment, 9pm, no cover

MAXX, TRUCK FIGHT, BOB BARANGO; 9pm, $6

Lipstick, 9pm, $5

S.W.I.M., 58 FURY, WHOOPIE QAT, MAU, FATSO; 1pm, $10

HEATH WILLIAMSON, 5pm M; Karaoke, 9pm Tu; Open-mic, 9pm W, no cover

ON THE Y

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SHORT FUSE, CURSED, BOMBS OVERHEAD, UNSCARRED; 8pm, $5

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Open-mic comedy, 9pm, no cover

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, no cover

JOHN REISCHMAN & THE JAYBIRDS, 7:30pm, $20

PIERRE BENSUSAN, 8pm, $20

1119 21st St., (916) 549-2779 1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

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JAM RADIO, DIVA KINGS; 5pm, call for cover

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140 Harrison Ave., Auburn; (530) 885-5093

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

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5461 Mother Lode, Placerville; (530) 626-0336

YESTERDAYS NEWS, 9pm, $5

STELLAR, REVOLVER; 9pm, $5

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GUITARHEAD, 9pm, $5

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LOCKED & LOADED, 10pm, call for cover TAKE OUT, 10pm, call for cover

ARDEN PARK ROOTS, 10pm, call for cover

SHANE DWIGHT, 3pm, call for cover

THE PRESS CLUB

Ignorant!, 9pm, no cover

Top 40 w/ DJ Rue, 9pm, $5

Top 40 w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9pm, $5

Sunday Night Soul Party, 9pm, $5

SHADY LADY SALOON

TESSIE MARIE, 9pm, no cover

ZORELLI, 9pm, no cover

ELEMENTAL BRASS, 9pm, no cover

JANE THOMPSON TRIO, 9pm, no cover

STARLITE LOUNGE

UNSUPERVISED, 6pm, call for cover

TELL THE WOLVES, THE KELPS, SLAY IT FORWARD, MARTIN PURTILL; 8pm

ELI & THE SOUND CULT, REDADERE, PAISANO; 8pm, call for cover

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SWABBIES

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TORCH CLUB

904 15th St., (916) 443-2797

X TRIO, 5pm, no cover; MCTUFF, BUMPTET, 9pm, $6

PAILER AND FRATIS, 5:30pm, no cover; MOFO PARTY BAND, 9pm, $8

Meri St. Mary with Roots Like Mountains and Instagon 8pm Saturday, $5. Shine Punk

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, W, no cover

SINGLE MOTHERS, THE DIRTY NIL; 8pm Tu; SUMMER CANNIBALS; 8pm W

Open Mic Comedy Jam w/ Brandon Lee, 7:30pm W, no cover

OLD TOWN BOYS, 6pm, $3

FM80, 2pm, $3

OVERDRAFT, 5:30pm; BLACK STAR SAFARI, HARLIS SWEETWATER; 9pm

Blues jam, 4pm, no cover; You Front The Acoustic open-mic, 5:30pm W, no cover; Band Live Karaoke, 8pm, no cover KERI CARR BAND, 9pm W, $5

All ages, all the time ACE OF SPADES

COAL CHAMBER, M; MOTIONLESS IN WHITE, 6:30pm Tu; FLYLEAF, 6pm W, $20

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SHINE

JUSTIN LYNCH, BOBBY DUNNE, PATRICK DUNN; 8pm, $5

1400 E St., (916) 551-1400

MERI ST. MARY, ROOTS LIKE MOUNTAINS, INSTAGON; 8pm, $5

Open jazz jam w/ Jason Galbraith, 8pm Tu; Poetry with Bill Gainer, 7pm W

ACE OF SPADES

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ALL AGES WELCOME!

MONDAY, MARCH 9

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18

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ADELITAS WAY - FRAMING HANLEY FIT FOR RIVALS - SAGES THURSDAY, MARCH 12

SECONDHAND SERENADE / RYAN CABRERA

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SUNDAY, MARCH 15

COMMON KINGS RIOTMAKER

J BOOG FRIDAY, MARCH 20

SPICE1, B LEGIT, RICHIE RICH, CELLY CEL, SAN QUINN, RBL POSSE

GUCE - LEE MAJORS - RAPPIN’ 4 TAY -MARVALESS -T-NUTTY - CALI BEAR GANG

SATURDAY, MARCH 21

REBEL SOULJAHZ TRIBAL THEORY - MANGO TIME - CRSB

SUNDAY, MARCH 22

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA BORN OF OSIRIS - THE WORD ALIVE TUESDAY, MARCH 24

DAN + SHAY CANAAN SMITH

Ty’Quan Thomas with Drego, Jericho Rose and Shila 8pm Saturday, call for cover. Blue Lamp Hip-hop

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SSAGE ERAPISTS Print ads start at $6/wk. www.newsreview.com or (916) 498-1234 ext. 5 Phone hours: M-F 9am-5pm. All ads post online same day. Deadlines for print: Line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Adult line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Display ad deadline: Friday 2pm

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*Nominal fee for adult entertainment. All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. Further, the News & Review specifically reserves the right to edit, decline or properly classify any ad. Errors will be rectified by re-publication upon notification. The N&R is not responsible for error after the first publication. The N&R assumes no financial liability for errors or omission of copy. In any event, liability shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error or omission. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message. Start your humanitarian career! Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 1, 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply today! www.OneWorldCenter.org 269-591-0518 info@oneworldcenter.org

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Join abstract painter Samuel Santi for his final LARGE Paintings For SMALL Purses show. Second Saturday 6pm-9pm and third Saturday 12pm-6pm at the studios on I St. (1727 I St.).

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Notice of caution to our Readers! Whenever doing business by telephone or email pro-­ ceed with caution when cash or credit is required in advance of services. KILL ROACHES! Buy Harris Roach Tablets. No Mess, Odorless, Long Lasting. Available at ACE Hardware, The Home Depot (AAN CAN)

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IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING WITH US, PLEASE CONTACT CLASSIFIEDS AT 916-498-1234 EXT. 1338.

All massage advertisers are required to provide News & Review a current valid busin permit issued by either the city or county in which they are operating in in order to run

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All merchants massage advertisers are required to provid Gift certificates to local business license or somatic establishment perm for up to 50% off in which they are operating in in order to run a

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YOUSte ARE401INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING WITH US, 916.363.1247 9261 FolsomIFBlvd. 10a-9p 7 days PLEASE CONTACT ATa week 916-498-1234 EXT. Sac, CA 95826 - Behind Togo’s CLASSIFIEDS

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My son’s father and I have been divorced for 15 years. It was a difficult marriage and dissolution. My ex-husband had a drinking problem and is dying. He has no one but my son. I tell myself that it’s his karma so I don’t have to get involved. And then I think I should step in to help because spiritually, it’s the thing to do. I would appreciate your opinion. Karma is a religious doctrine. by Joey ga Its intention is to inspire rcia consolation when life is not proceeding as we expected, a s k j o e y @ne w s re v i e w . c o m and to prompt our reflection on how we contributed to the difficulty. In Western thought, Joey is open to new karma is popularized as retribution opportunities in every because the belief that someone got area of her life. what they deserved—whether bad or good—makes Western minds feel better. This manipulation of karma fits well into the black-andwhite thinking (no gray areas) that Western education celebrates. That’s also why karma is taught here as: if you do good deeds, good comes to you. This interpretation of karma promises a payoff, a close-to-immediate gratification for our actions. It’s like heaven for Christians but without the wait. But there’s nothing spiritual about doing something to get something in return.

Helping your son’s father to die with dignity is an engagement of community. It is not a path toward personal exhaustion.

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Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review. Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question—all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential. Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

Spirituality is the path of doing what is right because right action aligns our mind, body and soul with the Divine. We engage in right actions because we choose to be one with God. We would make that choice even if it meant losing everything and everyone else. So, the true doctrine of karma is not about earning credits, it’s about union with God. And, if you dislike the word “God,” consider karma a means of living from the Buddha mind. Ah, yes, the Buddha mind: enlightened thinking. It’s so rare, but here is what it looks like in your situation: You enter the stream of compassion for your son’s father. You care for him as you would a broken limb on your own body. Your tenderness in these actions is

fully aligned with your intelligence in self-care. That means you do not overdo but you do all that you sanely can. In this way, you show your son what it means to love those who do not love themselves, or you. Your son learns what it means to love others while maintaining the healthy boundaries necessary for self-care. Remember, too, that you can request help from others. Your friends will help because they love you and your son. If you request support from others, you will see that helping your son’s father to die with dignity is an engagement of community. It is not a path toward personal exhaustion. All along the way, check in with yourself to discover the thoughts that attempt to drive you toward honesty or away from it. Stay conscious. Silent meditation helps. I’m a 37-year-old entrepreneur. If business isn’t thriving, I won’t date. I find it hard to identify my value as a partner when my finances aren’t in order. And, even though my mind and heart have never felt healthier, I make myself socially unavailable. I haven’t pursued love in years. I’m feeling it. What gives? Entrepreneurs are skilled at discovering what is missing and engaging their creative juices to employ a viable solution. But pouring yourself into work has skewed your perspective. Your value is infinitely higher than the sum of any bank account. You may also have imagined that a partner will steal energy from your work. That’s possible. Or you could meet someone who contributes to your work or whose joyfulness invites you to play more so that you work with greater efficiency. So, what would you lose if you let yourself have it all? Fear, probably. Work your way into that life. Ω

Meditation of the Week “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn,” wrote Alvin Toffler, author and futurist. What would it take to erase what has been, in favor of a blank page and a fresh start?


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Find dispensary listings online at newsreview.com/sacramento


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Hey Ngaio, is weed legal in the USA yet? —Hans and Frans Not yet, but a few things that happened last week will definitely pump (clap) you up! While U.S. congressional reps Jared Polis, D-Colorado, and Earl Blumenauer, D-Oregon, have both introduced bills that would legalize marijuana at the federal level, I don’t expect them to get very far in this Republicancontrolled Congress. BEALUM However, Washington, D.C., has gone ahead by NGAIO and decriminalized marijuana, despite threats from some of the more conservative members of Congress. I would pretend to be shocked that these so-called a sk420 @ n ewsreview.c om “proponents of small government” (looking at you, Jeff Chaffetz, R-Utah) would threaten D.C.’s mayor with jail time for ratifying an initiative that won with 69 percent of the vote, but is anyone surprised at the amount of hypocrisy displayed by today’s politicians? I would suggest that everyone in Congress spark a fat bowl right now. It I would suggest that might help them get their shit everyone in Congress together. Speaking of Utah, a bill spark a fat bowl right now. to allow medical cannabis It might help them get made it through committee and is proceeding to the Utah their shit together. Senate for a vote. The bill is superstrict. No home grows and no smoking of cannabis. Edibles only. It may seem like a small step, but for Utah this is huge. Take that, Jeff Chaffetz! I have to say that I’m liking this growing trend of politicians introducing marijuana law reform measures. The Georgia House just passed a medical marijuana bill on to the senate. Florida State Senator Dwight Bullard, D-Miami, also introduced a bill to allow recreational marijuana use for adults. We need need to see more of this. Call your representatives and let them them know you would like them to introduce (and support!) cannabis law reform legislation. And oh yeah, weed is legal in Alaska again. And the Oregon legalization law goes into effect July 1. Time to plan that great Alaska Highway road trip. I know it may be a little early, but do you think marijuana law reform will be be a big issue during the 2016 elections? —Wanda Wonkette Hell yes. Marijuana will be a huge topic in 2016. Many politicians have already stated their positions. Rand Paul is is for weed. Hilary Clinton says she has no problem with medical use, but is still unconvinced about recreational use. Gavin Newsom (he is expected to run for governor in 2018) is downright pot friendly. It is our job as citizen activists to make sure our elected officials are on board the cannabis legalization wagon. If you are talking to your more liberal candidates, talk to them about the racial disparities of the drug war. If you are talking to the right wingers, be sure to mention “states’ rights” and “freedom.” Try to yell “America!” every once in a while. In both cases, talk about votes. And money. Ω

Ngaio Bealum

is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert. Email him questions at ask420@ newsreview.com.

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by ROb

For the week of March 5, 2015

ARIES (March 21-April 19): To depict

what lay beyond the limits of the known world, medieval mapmakers sometimes drew pictures of dragons and sea serpents. Their images conveyed the sense that these territories were uncharted and perhaps risky to explore. There were no actual beasties out there, of course. I think it’s possible you’re facing a comparable situation. The frontier realm you are wandering through may seem to harbor real dragons, but I’m guessing they are all of the imaginary variety. That’s not to say you should entirely let down your guard. Mix some craftiness in with your courage. Beware of your mind playing tricks.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Whenever I close my eyes and seek psychic visions of your near future, I see heroic, Biblical scenes. Moses is parting the Red Sea. Joseph is interpreting Pharaoh’s dream. Jesus is feeding 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. What’s the meaning of my reveries? Well, this psychic stuff is tricky, and I hesitate to draw definitive conclusions. But if I had to guess, I’d speculate that you are ripe to provide a major blessing or perform an unprecedented service for people you care about.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In a New

Yorker cartoon, Tom Gauld outlines “The Four Undramatic Plot Structures”: “1. The hero is confronted by an antagonistic force and ignores it until it goes away.”; “2. The protagonist is accused of wrongdoing, but it’s not a big thing and soon gets sorted out.”; “3. The heroine is faced with a problem but it’s really difficult so she gives up.”; and “4. A man wants something. Later, he’s not so sure. By suppertime he’s forgotten all about it.” In my astrological opinion, Gemini, you should dynamically avoid all four of those fates. Now is a time for you to take brave, forceful action as you create dramatic plot twists that serve your big dreams.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “To be

happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright,” said heavyweight German philosopher Walter Benjamin, a fellow Cancerian. I am happy to report that there’s a good chance you will soon be blessed with an extraordinary measure of this worry-free self-awareness. And when you do—when you are basking in an expanded self-knowledge infused with self-love and self-appreciation— some of your chronic fear will drop away, and you will have at your disposal a very useful variety of happiness.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “As you get older,

the heart sheds its leaves like a tree,” said French novelist Gustave Flaubert. “You cannot hold out against certain winds. Each day tears away a few more leaves; and then there are the storms that break off several branches at one go. And while nature’s greenery grows back again in the spring, that of the heart never grows back.” Do you agree with Flaubert, Leo? I don’t. I say that you can live with such resilient innocence that your heart’s leaves grow back after a big wind, and become ever-more lush and hardy as you age. You can send down such deep, strong roots and stretch your branches toward the sun with such vigor that your heart always has access to the replenishment it needs to flourish. The coming weeks will provide evidence that what I say is true.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “I will not

wait to love as best as I can,” says writer Dave Eggers. “We thought we were young and that there would be time to love well sometime in the future. This is a terrible way to think. It is no way to live, to wait to love.” That’s your keynote for the coming weeks, Virgo. That’s your wake-up call and the rose-scented note under your pillow and the message scrawled in lipstick on your bathroom mirror. If there is any part of you that believes love will be better or fuller or more perfect in the future, tell that part of you to shut up and embrace this tender command: Now is the time to love with all of your heart and all of your soul and all of your mind.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I love the

song “Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” by Pink Floyd. Other favorites are Tool’s “Third Eye” and Yo La Tengo’s “Pass the Hatchet, I Think I’m Goodkind.” But all

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hoto PHOTO BY LISA BAETZ

by becca cOstellO

bRezsny

of these tunes have a similar problem. They’re more than ten minutes long. Even before my attention span got shrunk by the Internet, listening to them tested my patience. Now I have to forcefully induce a state of preternatural relaxation if I want to hear them all the way through. In the coming days, Libra, don’t be like a toomuch-of-a-good-thing song. Be willing to edit yourself. Observe concise boundaries. Get to the point quickly. (You’ll be rewarded for it.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Sneaking

around isn’t necessary, Scorpio. There’s no useful power to be gained by hiding information or pursuing secret agendas. This is not a time when it’s essential for you to be a master of manipulation who’s 10 steps ahead of everyone else. For now, you are likely to achieve maximum success and enjoy your life the most if you are curious, excitable and transparent. I invite you to embody the mindset of a creative, precocious child who has a loving mommy and daddy.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

In 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay became the first humans to reach the summit of Mount Everest. It took them seven weeks to climb the 29,029foot peak. In 1960, Jacques Piccard and Don Walsh got into a bathyscaphe and sailed to the lowest point on the planet, the Mariana Trench at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. It took them four hours and 47 minutes to go down 36,070 feet. Based on my analysis of your astrological omens, I think the operative metaphor for you in the coming weeks should be the deep descent, not the steep ascent. It’s time to explore and hang out in the depths rather than the heights.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The

African country of Ivory Coast has two different capital cities. Yamoussoukro is the official capital, while Abidjan is the actual capital, where the main governmental action takes place. I suspect there’s a comparable split in your personal realm, Capricorn: a case of mixed dominance. Maybe that’s a good thing; maybe it allows for a balance of power between competing interests. Or perhaps it’s a bit confusing, causing a split in your attention that hampers you from expressing a unified purpose. Now would be a favorable time to think about how well the division is working for you, and to tinker with it if necessary.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’ve

gone on three book tours and done my spoken-word show in scores of bookstores. But one of my favorite author events took place at the Avenue C Laundromat in New York City’s East Village. There I performed with two other writers as part of the “Dirty Laundry: Loads of Prose” reading series. It was a boisterous event. All of us authors were extra loose and goofy, and the audience offered a lot of funny, good-nature heckling. The unusual location freed everyone up to have maximum amusement. I see the coming weeks as a time when you, too, might thrive by doing what you do best in seemingly out-of-context situations. If you’re not outright invited to do so, I suggest you invite yourself.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): When

Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor of California in 2003, the state had the eighth largest economy in the world, right behind Italy and just ahead of Brazil. Schwarzenegger had never before held political office. When Cambodian doctor Haing Ngor performed in the film The Killing Fields, for which he ultimately won an Oscar, he had no training as an actor. He was a novice. Will you try to follow in their footsteps, Pisces? Is it possible you could take on a role for which you have no preparation or seasoning? According to my divinations, the answer is yes. But is it a good idea? That’s a more complex issue. Trust your gut.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com. |

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The funmaker Cate Schmiedt is a woman of many talents. Seriously. So many. During an hour-long conversation at Old Soul at 40 Acres in Oak Park, Schmiedt revealed she can cook, cater events, captain a boat, sew costumes and make cheese. She’s got a degree in fine art. She’s an ordained reverend. She performs in an American Tribal Style Belly Dance troupe. Oh yeah, and she can legally marry you at a moment’s notice. Schmiedt is the designated wedding celebrant for Unseen Heroes’ pop-up wedding chapel at Display California in Oak Park, where couples can host marriages, vow renewals or “mock ceremonies” of any faith (or lack thereof) through March 22. For weddings more planned than pop-up, Schmiedt can create custom experiences, including costumes and event planning. She’s been known to officiate and cater the same wedding. What do you call someone with such a large skill set and an even larger sense of enthusiasm? Schmiedt prefers the term “funmaker.” “If there’s something on [my website] that it doesn’t say that I do, it doesn’t mean that I don’t do it or I won’t teach myself how,” Schmiedt says. “I like the saying, ‘Just say yes and you’ll figure it out later.’”

You officiated Mayor Kevin Johnson’s wedding at the pop-up chapel last month? I remarried the mayor. They were renewing their vows. Maritza [Davis of Unseen Heroes] called me and asked if I could come in and do a last-minute renewal. So I came in and there was a woman who said she was the wedding coordinator. |

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She’s like, “These vows. Everything really traditional.” So I went in the back to read through them and loosen up my voice and I heard Maritza say, “Oh! It’s you!” So I go out there and it’s Mayor Johnson and Michelle Rhee. … And nobody knew. Michelle Rhee didn’t even know. It was a surprise for her.

Were you nervous? I was nervous! I was like, “It’s the mayor.” We started and then restarted so his [assistant] could videotape us. It was cute. They’d been married for three years, he said. It was really short and I went grocery shopping afterward. It was a very strange day.

Is preparing a pop-up wedding different from regular ceremonies? The other people I’ve married, I’ve known them pretty well. … For the pop-up, I’ve got three different scripts they can pick from and I put it in my little binder and put their names on it so I don’t forget. I don’t get to meet them ahead of time.

Are you a reverend of any particular tradition? I was raised very Baptist, but now I consider myself non-denominational. I’ve learned a lot about different religions and there’s something to take away from all of them. I’m a Christian, but I would do any kind of ceremony. It doesn’t matter to me. I love everybody.

Is there anyone you wouldn’t feel comfortable marrying? I don’t think so. Except, I always worry that I’m going to marry somebody that shouldn’t really be getting married. Like, what if they get a divorce? |

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Your website says you’ll dress up like the priest from The Princess Bride. I love dressing up in costumes!

Including the accent? I could probably do the accent if they wanted. My birthday’s October 29, so I have always loved dressing up in costumes. I have a whole closetful. I don’t have the robe from Princess Bride, but I could find it. Or make it.

Have you married anyone while in costume? I haven’t had to dress up yet, but I would love to. “Can you dress like the chief from Joe Versus the Volcano?” Yes!

What is a “funmaker”? I started seeing a life coach for creative people because I quit my job at the state. I couldn’t take it anymore. This was last summer. She specializes in creatives, which is good because I needed a goal, a job-life intersection. She made me look at my values and a big one was fun. People always tell me that I’m fun, so I’m a funmaker.

Anything you would caution couples against when planning a wedding? I would say don’t get too much input from other people. Pick a few people you trust who know you really well and then try to set your boundaries with others who want to “help.” Ω

For more about Cate’s services, visit www.reverendcate.com. To book a wedding or vow renewal at Display California’s pop-up chapel, visit www.displaycalifornia.com.

03.05.15

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SN&R

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55


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