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Do you need a prenup? 13 Wedding to-do list 15 A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT TO THE RENO NEWS & REVIEW | JANUARY 22, 2015
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hat better content for a wedding section than a note on prenuptial agreements, or a cynical bride’s account of her own planning meltdown? Just kidding. We did cover those topics this time around, actually, but all in the spirit of love and fun. In this issue you’ll also meet a good-humored local DJ who’s been in the business since the 1980s, bearing witness to everything from heartwarming anniversary dances to Skyped toasts from across the world. Someone even stripped off her wedding dress at one of his gigs, but more on that later. Meanwhile, bona fide bride-tobe Ashley Hennefer tells us how to plan creative and meaningful bachelorette parties right here in Reno, sans all the hokey candy and other clichés. She’ll even help you schedule a soiree at an archery range (props). Another
Editor D. Brian Burghart News Editor Dennis Myers Arts Editor Brad Bynum Calendar Editor Kelley Lang Special Projects Editor Georgia Fisher Art Director Hayley Doshay Contributors Ashley Hennefer, Jessica Santina, Eric Marks
CAROLYN VAUGHT | WWW.DIVINEDW.COM P: 775.354.9243 | F: 775.562.8700 | E: CAROLYN@DIVINEDW.COM
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Advertising Consultants Joseph “Joey” Davis, Gina Odegard, Bev Savage, Jessica Wilson Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Design Melissa Bernard, Brad Coates, Kyle Shine Operations Coordinator Nanette Harker
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brave contributor, Jessica Santina, tackles the rather hush-hush notion of prenuptial agreements, and explains why most Nevadans probably won’t need or even want one. Anyway, if you’ve just gotten engaged, hey, congratulations! You might also be helping a family member or close friend prepare for his or her big day, which basically entitles you to sainthood. With you in mind, we’ve included a to-do list to reference as you count down the months and weeks until the ceremony. I’ve also thrown in some dirt about my own weddingplanning experience last spring, though it’s more of lesson in what not to do. In the end, I wish I’d slowed down and seen the process for what it was: something special that only happens once, and doesn’t have to be picture-perfect. Happy planning. Georgia Fisher
Distribution Manager Anthony Clarke Distribution Drivers Sandra Chhina, Steve Finlayson, Debbi Frenzi, Vicky Jewell, Angela Littlefield, Joe Medeiros, Ron Neill, Christian Shearer, Marty Troye, Warren Tucker, Gary White, Joseph White, Margaret Underwood General Manager/Publisher John D. Murphy President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Chief Operations Officer Deborah Redmond Human Resource Manager Tanja Poley Business Nicole Jackson, Kortnee Angel
Lead Technolofy Synthesist Jonathan Schultz Senior Support Tech Joe Kakacek Developer John Bisignano System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins 405 Marsh Ave., Third Floor Reno, NV 89509 Phone (775) 324-4440 Fax (775) 324-4572 Web site www.newsreview.com Printed by Paradise Post The RN&R is printed using recycled newsprint whenever available.
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A S p e c i a l su p p l e m e n t t o t h e r e n o n e w s & r e v i e w
by Ashley hennefer
unique bAc helor et te pA rt Y id eAS for the unconventionAl br id e
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here’s a lot to plan for a wedding beyond the actual wedding—including the (sometimes infamous) bachelor and bachelorette parties. These gatherings originally began as a way to celebrate a bride or groom’s last days as a single person before beginning a monogamous life. Bachelorette parties are also called “hen nights” in the United Kingdom or “kitchen parties” in South Africa. I am newly engaged, and although my fiancé and I are eloping overseas later this year, I’m not opposed to the idea of having a bachelorette party. Despite the stigma that bachelorette parties consist of phallic-related debauchery—seriously, how many penis-shaped candies have to exist in the world?—I appreciate any activity that brings women together to celebrate and have fun. I’m not the only bride-to-be who feels this way. According to bridal publication Offbeat Bride, many betrothed women are seeking alternatives to male strippers and dick cakes. And, if that’s still your bag, that’s cool, too. But after all, bachelorette parties used to be more simple affairs, like a dinner, tea or get-together. If you’re somewhere in the middle like me—an introverted woman with a love for adventure—try thinking outside the box for your bachelorette party with these ideas.
Seriously, how many penis-shaped candies have to exist in the world?
Learn something
Chocolate Walrus employee Katherine Francom shows off some uniquq party gifts.
If you’re using this party as a way to bond or rekindle friendships with your best gals, you may as well learn something new and have a memorable experience. Archery is on the upswing thanks to the popularity of the sport in major movie franchises. Channel your inner Artemis at Wasting Arrows Indoor Archery, which hosts
PHOTO/ERIC MARKS
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bachelorette parties. Parties can rent out the facility, or you can schedule an event at your home. Contact Wasting Arrows at www. wastingarrows.com. A trip to the Nevada Museum of Art or the Fleischmann Planetarium and Science Center is a fun group outing for the culturally inclined, followed by lunch or dinner at a local restaurant. Check out some international art or contemplate your place in the universe. If that’s too existentialist for you, consider another adventurous activity like horseback riding and trekking through Nevada’s rural landscapes. Small groups will enjoy Rancho Redrock Horseback Rides. Learn more by calling 969-3315.
make something While looking for ideas for my own potential bachelorette party, I went to the internet mecca for all things wedding-related—Pinterest.com. Pinterest not only has hundreds of bachelorette party ideas, but there’s also many posts about having an actual Pinterest party. This consists of a craft night where participants make projects they’ve found on Pinterest. For a wedding, this is a great idea—use it as a fun way to make centerpieces, guest gifts, or other wedding must-haves, and you can listen to music or drink wine as you’re crafting away with your friends and family. And, all of your wedding items will have a personal memory attached to them. You can also tie silly bridal games into the night.
go somewhere A weekend girls-only retreat doesn’t have to be your traditional Vegas getaway (although that can be fun, too). A retreat to the woods or a rugged outdoor environment is perfect for those with a taste for the rustic (and, given that mason jars and barn weddings are all the rage right now, that’s becoming increasingly common). It just so happens that we live close to Lake Tahoe, where you can rent out a cabin or take a cruise around the lake in the Lake Tahoe Party Boat (www.tahoesports.com). You don’t have to travel far to have a great Ω time.
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AMERICAN HEART ASSOCIATION • FANTASY WEDDING FAIRE 2015 • NEVADA ROOM/GRAND SIERRA RESORT VENDOR LOCATIONS
1862 David Walley's Resort ....79 AB Custom Photography ..........84 Alexander's Catering ...............4 Alfred Angelo ...........................130 All Occasion Rentals ..............96,97,98 Arlington Elite Weddings ..........100 Atlantis Casino Resort .............120 Baldini's Casino ......................92 Bed, Bath & Beyond ................102,103 Belinda Grant Photography .....38 Bloomers Florist ......................81 BMW Photography...................75 Bobby Page's Dry Cleaners ......6 Boomtown Hotel .....................137 Boxed Couture ........................91 Brad Horn Photography ...........60 Camelot Party Rentals.............39,40 Candlelight & Roses ................128 Carson City BBQ .....................27 Chism House...........................129 Dan Thrift Photography ............101 David's Bridal .........................72 Dick Stoddard Mobile Music ...2 Divine Destination Weddings & Honeymoons .......................76
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DJ Posse Mobile Music ...........90 doTERRA ................................3 Duncan Golf Management ......44 EAC Video & Entertainment .....37 EMC Squared Studios, LLC ......47 Engaged Reno .........................99 Fig Tree Catering .....................127 Forget Me Knot Events ............42 Gem Gallery ............................93 Grace Bake Shoppe ................68 Grand Sierra Resort – Weddings .............................125,126 Greenhorn Creek Guest Ranch 107 Greenridge Music ...................8 Harmony Hilderbrand Photography............................106 Hidden Valley Country Club .....55 I Deux Photography .................133 Inflight Media Productions ......74 Isabel's for the Love of Cake ...94 It Works Global .......................5 JA Nugget ...............................32 Ken Lewis Studio ....................56 Lake Tahoe Cruises & Zephyr Cove Resort ................35 Lauren Lindley Photography ....65 Mammoth Mountain Weddings 73
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McClain's Mobile Music ..........77 Men Wielding Fire ...................45 Men's Wearhouse ....................71 Michael & Sons.......................66 My Wedding Library ................132 Nakoma Golf Resort................64 National Association for Catering and Events ................13-18 Nevada Museum of Art............61,62 Nevada Women's Expo ............33 No Bull Media, Inc ..................59 Nothing Bundt Cakes ..............121 NutriChef ................................111 Once Upon A Time Events ........122,123 Paper Moon in Serendipity ......63 Peppermill Hotel & Casino ......82,83 Perfect Pear Catering ..............41 PicBox ....................................113 Platinum DJ's ..........................112 Radiant Tan.............................34 Reaney Photography ...............26 Regina Lockwood, Realtor .......1 REMSA ....................................131 Reno Media Group ..................Front Reno News & Review ..............Front Reno Tahoe Event Florist .........46 Reno Tahoe Limousine ...........GG
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Resort at Red Hawk ................110 Rolling Thunder Entertainment Co./NV ...................................31 Roundabout Catering & Party Rentals ..........................105 Stefani & Associates................80 Stella & Dot by Independent Stylist Molly Vestal ..................54 Tahoe Ridge Winery ................36 Tahoe Sierra Aesthetics / Tahoe Tattoo Removal .............118 Tannenbaum Event Center.......25 The After Party NV ...................108 The Club at Arrow Creek .........89 The Entertainer .......................119 The Gem Gallery......................93 The Grove at South Creek ........116,117 The Loft ..................................85 The Ridge Tahoe ......................53 Thunder and Lightning DJ........84 Thunder Canyon Country Club..28 Travel Unlimited ......................114 Washoe County Regional Parks & Open Space ...............69 Weddings of the West ..............109 Yellow Flowers Photography .....7
American Heart Association
Fantasy Wedding Faire 2015 January 25, 2015 • 11AM-4PM • Grand Sierra Resort, Nevada Room Tickets: $10 online $12 at the door • www.renoweddingfaire.com
Schedule of Events 11:00 AM - Exhibit Booths Open and Silent Auction Begins 12:00 PM - First Fashion Show Begins 2:00 PM - Second Fashion Show Begins 4:00 PM - Exhibits Close We will feature tasty treats from the finest bakers and caterers, champagne tasting, invitations, venues, florists, photographers, video experts, entertainment, dance instructors and more. The event also includes two fashion shows, a silent auction and “Groom's Grotto” which provides grooms-to-be the opportunity to relax and watch TV while their future wives shop.
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Special Thanks to
April Haymond - Candlelight and Roses Kim Thomas - Fig Tree Catering Danielle Sammons - Elise Events Jerrine Plunket- I Deux Photography Jessica Nicely - The Stylish Scribe Reno Dance Company Freeman . . .all of our wonderful volunteers!
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A weddiNg dJ tel lS All
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enneth Bouchard,who goes by KC, has been a DJ since the late ’80s, and in Reno for the past five years or so. When he was little, Bouchard was entranced by his mother’s vinyl collection—a massive library that was heavy on R&B—and often used it to make mixtapes. Before long, he began making the tapes for his friends, then working for a radio station. He eventually DJed at a variety of events, including school dances, corporate parties and such, but he says weddings are what he’s always done best. When he describes his job, Bouchard speaks with a fast sort of enthusiasm that’s clearly born of passion. He loves this stuff. —Georgia Fisher
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Tell us about your work. Well, there are multiple elements to being a wedding DJ. One is knowing the music, obviously, but it’s also being that MC— being that kind of rock who can provide information and keep things relevant throughout the night. You want to keep everybody informed about what’s going on, and you want to make yourself a part of the party, but not the party. There are egos out there. There are a lot of wannabe radio DJs and that kind of thing, but in the end it’s all about the bride and the groom, and the people there. If the bride and groom are happy, everyone’s happy, and it just kind of snowballs. Typically, I meet with the bride and groom first, and I just kind of get a feel for what they’re interested in—what they want the wedding to look like, to feel like and so on. … I think the more personalized it is, the better. You want to get the essence of that, because everybody’s there for them. So, if they are hearing songs that they’re comfortable with, they’re going to act super comfortable, and you can see it. It just expands throughout the reception. And if I’m playing the right music, I don’t need to be on the mic after every song, trying to get people up. At some point, I become like a wedding coordinator. I don’t really have the decor, and I can’t really help with invitations and everything the way a true wedding coordinator would, but I can help things go smoothly with all the professionals involved—with the venue, the caterer, myself and the photographer. What’s the Reno area like as a wedding destination? It’s a really great wedding community here. People don’t realize it, but it’s kind of a premier wedding area. Hawaii or Baha or the Virgin Islands may be a little more typical, destination-wise, but
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Reno does really well, and because of that, there’s a high proportion of great professionals here: great caterers, great photographers, great DJs. Of course there are plenty of substandard ones, too, but that’s just like anyplace else. The most vivacious person in the whole industry is Leigh Anne [Page] from Delicious Designs. Every time I work with her, I want to step up my game. My biggest piece of advice to the bride and groom is to meet their vendors, to get to know them. Make sure they talk to their DJ face-toface, to make sure he’s the one who’s going to show up. That goes for your photographer too. You want the sort of photos that make people’s souls shine through. When it comes to playing receptions, are there songs or genres that work for almost everyone? How do you keep things moving? There’s no one particular song. I have a big list, a playlist, basically, of things I call kickers. I’ve played them since I started in ’88, and many of them still work. It’s all about reading the crowd, really, but there are some songs that are going to get people up no matter what—you see them running up from the back of the room, like, “Oh, he’s gonna play that one!” Typically, it’s stuff like “Cupid Shuffle,” or “Cha Cha Slide,” or even the country line dances like “Cotton Eye Joe.” There’s a lot of different little bridges and kickers that’ll work for everyone. At some point, you’ll hit a chord with everybody, and you can just ride that for a while. That’s my fun, when you can see that ebb and flow, [and say], “Ooh, the energy is up or down!” Or, “They’re getting a little tired of this, so let’s move in another direction.” I’ll play whatever the bride and groom want, though. I had one [playlist] that was all Bauhaus—it’s all kind of dreary, you know— and then I think I played one Beatles song and one slow song, and people were like, “What the
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heck is this?” But they [the bride and groom] were happy. I did what they wanted. Hey, if it’s what you want, I’ll play all polka.” So what’s the best way manage a playlist of offbeat songs? It’s great to hit on everybody early [with more crowd-pleasing stuff], so everybody feels like they’ve been acknowledged, and everyone feels like they have something they can dance to. Then you can go off on tangents. At a wedding just the other night, there were a lot of older people, so I played a lot of Motown, some Elvis, and a lot of swing first. They were happy. And then later we were playing nothing but—well, it wasn’t current rap, maybe 10- or 20-year-old rap—but it’s stuff you wouldn’t normally play right off the bat. That’s when the lights go down and things get a little less formal. People let their hair down a little bit. By then, you see all the older people staying out and dancing to this stuff that was for the 20- and 30-year-olds. It’s my job to get them out there and figure out what they’re going to do. To me, that’s the fun of it. That’s the challenge. If people have a song they like, they let down all their barriers. What about the folks who won’t get up out of their seats? You always think about the people who are sitting down, too, who don’t like what they’re hearing, and you want to include the stuff that they’re going to dance to, but you also don’t want to alienate the ones who are already out there. Maybe you’re doing some country, say, so then you bridge it with a rock-’n‘-roll song, and 10 minutes later you’re doing bop or disco, or something else altogether. It’s never really the same, and that’s the beauty of it. Sometimes I’ll go over and see people who aren’t dancing, and I’ll go, “Hey, is there anything I can play for you?”
PHOTO/KEN LEWIS
You’ve got to play a certain amount of slow songs during the night, so you might as well make them important ones. Maybe it’s their first wedding song or something. Maybe they don’t dance much, but maybe I can get them up if it’s the song they danced to at their wedding. … They’re going to love the bride and groom for that, too, and again, it all just snowballs. That’s why I love weddings so much. You just feel it. My favorite event of the night is the anniversary dance, if they want to do it. You get all the married couples on the dance floor, including the bride and groom, and you say, “OK, anybody here been married for three-and-a-half hours?” Then the bride and groom leave, and everybody goes crazy. “OK, what about one year?” And you go on and on. The amount and outpouring of love and respect you get for those [older] people is amazing. You’re there to celebrate marriage, the marriage of this new couple, but you’re also there to celebrate people who’ve been married a long time as well. Tell us about some especially memorable gigs you’ve played. I had a wedding a while back where he was from Boston and she was from New York City, so we had a Boston/New York sing-off, since they had friends from both cities. A Boston song would be “Sweet Caroline,” for example, since they play that at every Red Sox game, and a New York song might be “New York State of Mind,” or “New York, New York.” And here we had these two groups just singing their lungs out, each trying to get the other group [riled up]. You never know, though; what works at one wedding could completely bomb at another one.” Years ago, down in San Diego, I did [a reception for] the niece of Jerry Lewis. I didn’t even realize at first that it was him dancing in the audience. Later, I was in the elevator loading up, and he was in the elevator with his wife and his little girl. It was really neat. Then, a couple summers back, [a groom] had
a brother in Afghanistan make a toast from there. He then was able to watch the other toasts and first dance through Skype. Another awesome use of technology was when a grandmother broke her hip the week before a wedding up at Red Hawk. She had an iPad in her hospital room, and her son, the father of the bride walked down the aisle with another iPad. So she got to walk with the bride and see the ceremony. That’s so sweet. What about funny stories, too? Bet you have plenty of those. Well, [after the bride and groom completed the cake-cutting at one reception] he decided to smash her with cake … and you could almost see her silhouette on the mirror behind her. She was beyond-belief irritated. I mean, it was a beautiful dress, and it probably took her 40 minutes to get cleaned up. And I also had two first cousins get married once. They had to have a blood test beforehand. The father of the groom was the bride’s uncle; the dads were brothers. But the bride and groom loved each other, and it was a beautiful wedding. I’m of the mindset that hey, if you love someone and you’re able to find happiness [he shrugs, and adds that he’s also played same-sex wedding receptions for decades] … look, I wouldn’t want somebody telling me I couldn’t be in love with my wife, or something. Oh, and there was one wedding on a military base, where the bride was so messed up that she basically did a striptease for everybody. It was late in the evening, fortunately, so most of the grandparents were gone. It was just like, “Wow, nice lingerie you’ve got on there.” You never know what you’re going to get. But more often than not, the stories are just heartwarming. Ω
A SpeciAl Supplement to the reno newS & review
JAnuArY 22, 2015
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PHOTO/JANIS HERD
by G e o r G i a F i s h e r
georgiaf@newsreview.com
All’s well that ends well.
Then Matt, a brand-new attending surgeon, got too busy to really help. It wasn’t his fault, but it meant that between the two of us, there were exactly zero enthusiastic people calling vendors. I have to wonder what his poor parents were thinking: Who does this little hick think she is? Doesn’t she love our boy? Do her own parents even like her? I wish we’d just told everyone I’m absurdly frightened of big events. But Matt would’ve been heartbroken by a small one, so we were doing our best. Nobody wants to think their child is a jerk, or that he or she is engaged to one, but if you don’t present a united front, well, things can look pretty bad.
the final countdown
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hen a close friend of mine finished college, her parents presented her with a doublewide and a plot at a local trailer park. She was stumped. “Your sister already got married, sweetheart,” they explained. “And since it looks like you probably never will, we spent your bridal fund on this.” My friend eventually tied the knot anyway, just not when her family thought she should. By then, it was on her own terms. “Planning a wedding is the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” another happily married friend once told me. As she spoke, Katie soothed one of her crying newborn twins, fed the other baby and simultaneously prepared for her graveyard shift at a bakery. She shook her head. “The hardest thing, girl.” I know two couples who’ve lost rings at the altar, and another guy whose aunt sincerely threatened suicide when she wasn’t invited to his ceremony. True story. More recently, I saw a hung-over groomsman pass out and hit the ground during his brother’s vows at Lake Tahoe. His poor legs swung straight up, and his dress shoes pawed at the air like something from a cartoon. “He does this a lot,” his father told me later, looking wholly unconcerned. “It’s just a big day for him.” Anyway, when my live-in boyfriend mentioned marriage in a faraway sense, I said to forget about proposing if it meant we’d have a big wedding. We could elope like my mom and stepdad did or live in committed sin. Wasn’t that enough? Matt looked dejected. He’d always envisioned a glitzy celebration with everyone he loved. That same summer, he asked me to marry him. I saw it coming and of course said
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yes, but was so taken aback by the gravity of it all that I basically checked out. The ring was stunning enough to wrack me with guilt. My head hurt like the dickens. I forgot how to properly kiss another human being. I wondered if we were, in fact, having a magical moment. Then we called our parents, half of whom were actively mad because I’d already referred to Matt as my fiancé in an article. (It made sense at the time.) I was freaking out. “Everything’ll be OK,” Matt told me, and everything would be, save for the fact that we had a wedding to plan. An important aside: My husband is the kindest and most hilarious best friend I could ever imagine, and I’m actually excited every time I see his car in the driveway after work. He’s the happiest part of my whole world. But organizing our nuptials sucked. Bad.
GoinG to the chapel of Mexican food My vote was that we elope right here in Reno, at Silver Bells, but that went over like a lead balloon. Our semi-compromise was a tiny, formal wedding in my hometown of Austin, Texas, followed by a larger reception a couple of days later. We skipped the following traditions: 1. The wedding party. We couldn’t rank our friends, and the ceremony was for immediate family anyway. 2. The expensive dress—mine was $100 at Marchele’s on South Virginia Street. Elaborate flowers—we spent $300 at Trader Joe’s. Formal invitations—Matt’s mom made beautiful ones. Pricey liquor—kegs and bad wine worked fine.
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3. The raunchy bachelor party, the registry, the planned dances and so on. The old standbys could go, Matt promised, provided the reception was large and inclusive. It was settled. We’d marry, then have a laidback party with Tex-Mex fare, piñatas, great music, and everyone we knew. It’d all happen at the same venue: a sprawling, verdant place where multiple families could stay for days, drink to excess and break sound ordinances long into the night.
Who does this little hick think she is? doesn’t she love our boy? do her own parents even like her?
This all seemed swell on paper, but I was still unnerved by the fact that it had morphed into a more drawn-out affair than the white wedding I’d managed to avoid. Plus, my generous in-laws had contributed a lot financially for an event they saw as a bare-minimum rite of passage—on par with a funeral, say—so my parents felt obliged to follow suit, despite their modest savings and the fact that I’d sworn for years this would never happen. All told, our “casual” gig was costing tens of thousands of dollars. And no one was exactly bonding.
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“Gay people can’t even have weddings,” I hissed at Matt one evening, “and they love each other just as much as we do. Probably more, if one of them doesn’t make the other do pointless crap for nostalgia’s sake.” He pleaded with me to compromise. After all, isn’t that what marriage is about? My phone rang. It was our bimbo caterer. Then Matt’s phone went off. Whoever it was, they were worried about something wedding-y. Our mothers seemed wounded lately, too. Later that night I’d call my dear friend Emily, who’s always treated me like a sister, and apologize for not having her in our little ceremony. (I’d been the only non-relative in hers.) She didn’t say much, but was clearly hurt. Katie seemed to be as well, which is so odd for either of them—so unsettling really—that things felt truly precarious. All told, that sort of night played out a million times. Sometimes the immediate families or old friends were the upset ones. More often, it was Matt or me. Finally, when I learned of a forthcoming bachelor party he’d been privately planning for weeks, I came unglued. My mom heard about it from his mom. It’d be the day before the wedding, and everyone knew but me. “I was waiting for the right time to talk,” he said, looking exhausted. “Do you realize how bad this looks?” I shot back. “Why the hell was it a secret?” Matt canceled the party. In hindsight, I think his night out probably should’ve happened, seeing as my mate just needed to escape the chimera who shared his bed and was basically setting fire to every notion of comfort and sentimentality he had. It was around that time that I made a medical appointment. “I agree that Xanax isn’t a bad idea,” my doctor said dryly, after catching an earful. “Temporarily, anyway. How long do you think you’ll need this?” “Just the day of the ceremony and that of the reception. And maybe right now.” He wrote a script for three months’ worth. Later, mere weeks before walking down the aisle, I called a friend who’s an event planner. Megan has stellar taste; we knew that much. What we didn’t expect was how deftly she’d finish the job for us. For $1,000, she became a balm for our souls, giving our caterers the what-for, drawing seating diagrams and pulling countless moving parts into a chic finished product. She held our hands until the end. And in the end? Well, the ceremony was exquisite, and the reception was all we’d hoped for. Seriously. “Georgia,” Megan told me gently before guests arrived, “You need to take a shower. Now. Do it.” I did. And I do. And believe it or not, I love being married. Ω
by Jessica santina
or for poorer Do Yo u n e e D A prenup?
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ne byproduct of an improving economy—with its increased salaries and property values—is that, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, prenuptial agreements are on the rise. With 60 percent of marriages ending in divorce, perhaps it makes sense to plan for such an outcome and protect your assets. But it’s also probably a great way to suck the romance out of wedding planning. “Not a lot of people sign them because it’s not romantic,” says Reno attorney Garrett Sutton. Not only that, he says, but in a state like Nevada, which is one of nine community property states, they’re usually unnecessary. Community property law says that most property acquired during a marriage is shared equally by both spouses and divided upon divorce, annulment or death. It’s presumed by law in the absence of any evidence to the contrary. “In the case of a divorce, Nevada also recognizes property brought into the marriage separately by each party, so if it can be clearly identified as separate, it still belongs to the previous owner, even without a prenup,” says Sutton. “So in a state like Nevada, a prenup isn’t usually necessary.” In fact, he says that if assets on both sides of the marriage aren’t significant, it probably isn’t necessary anyway. It could apply, however, if one party is bringing a huge amount of separate property into the marriage. Under community property law, if both spouses work on it, it can eventually become community property. A prenup could ensure the property remains individually owned, both during and after marriage. Should you decide to pursue a prenup, Sutton cautions that you talk about it many months before marrying—not days. (Put those sitcom-style, minutes-before-the-ceremony scenes right out of your head.) “There has to be adequate time to review and sign it, and each party must have a separate attorney,” Sutton says, insisting that those attorneys should also not be from the same firm, to guard against conflicts of interest. “If
one party has an attorney and the other doesn’t, the courts can rule that it’s unenforceable.” The same goes for prenups that in any way show preference to one party; such an agreement would be considered unconscionable and would likely be disregarded, which is why it’s so important to have separate attorneys protecting each person’s interests. There must be full financial disclosure in any premarital agreement; each party must provide a comprehensive list of income sources, assets and debts. Though Nevada statutes on premarital agreements (NRS: Chapter 123A) are fairly brief, they say agreements that aren’t voluntarily entered into by both parties or did not involve fair, reasonable and accurate disclosure of property will not be enforced. Any provisions that limit or eliminate alimony and thereby force one party to be eligible for public assistance may be disregarded, and alimony could still be awarded. Finally, Sutton points out that prenups cannot make provisions about child support; such provisions would usually be unenforceable. Something to consider at the outset of marriage is this statistic, drawn from research by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research: Married couples who do not pool their incomes are 145 percent more likely to divorce than those who do. So the principal of “share and share alike” may be worth considering. Despite the fact that discussions about prenups aren’t easy to have, and may not even be necessary, experts do seem to agree that early financial discussions before marriage are valuable. Among the top reasons for divorce are lack of preparation for marriage and unrealistic expectations. A good sit-down to decide how you will handle your household finances could help head off some conflict down the road. Ω Though Sutton does not specialize in premarital agreements, plenty of area attorneys do. If you’re considering one, an online search for “prenup attorney Reno” should lead you to plenty of practitioners who can help you.
RENT THE MUSEUM Book your wedding at Reno’s most creative venue and become a master of the art of love. Designed by internationally-renowned architect Will Bruder, the stunning four-level, 55,000 square foot architectural masterpiece will wow your guests. With catering by Mark Estee’s, chez louie, they will leave satiated as well. Contact Nisha Hallert, Director of Special Events and Sales: nisha.hallert@nevadaart.org or 775.398.7225.
Donald W. Reynolds Center for the Visual Arts | E. L. Wiegand Gallery 160 West Liberty Street in downtown Reno | 775.329.3333 | nevadaart.org
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A S p e c i a l su p p l e m e n t t o t h e r e n o n e w s & r e v i e w
e all know great weddings are as unique as the folks they’re celebrating, but a few stock tips can help most couples get a good start. Take this list with a grain of salt, of course, and pare it down to suit your tastes.
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12+ MONTHS TO GO Ω Share the good news. Ω Make a loose plan. How formal, casual or quirky is your dream wedding? Do you and your beloved want a religious ceremony, and will your folks melt down if you don’t have one? Would you rather dress as Storm Troopers or country people? (Circle one.) Should you elope? This first conversation matters. A lot. Ω Talk finances. Some couples foot the whole bill themselves, while others are happy to accept help. Know that whoever pays probably expects a vote as far as the guest list, ceremony and so on. Ω Want a flashy ceremony or reception venue? If it’s popular, you’ll need to pick a distant date or act very quickly, especially for a Saturday-night event, as even church calendars fill up fast. If a family lake house or backyard is more your style, you’ve got some wiggle room. Ω Once your venue is set, you can pick your wedding date.
NINE MONTHS TO GO Ω If you already have a wedding party in mind, call the main players. If you’d rather skip having bridesmaids and groomsmen, say so. Don’t leave old friends waiting and wondering. Ω Draw up a rough guest list. This is easier said than done, but estimating the number of attendees goes part-and-parcel with your food and alcohol budget. Ω Book a caterer, and see if the same company can handle bar service. At this point, your stated headcount can be vague, like, “more than 100 people,” or “maybe 20 close friends.” Bear in mind you’ll be charged for every single freaking thing, from salt-and-pepper shakers to martini olives and trash removal. Ω Feeling stressed already? Consider hiring a wedding planner, if only for your own mental health. A friendly pro can work within your budget, and may even offset his or her fees by saving you money in the long run. If you’re buying a $3,000 dress and a $2,000 cake, but you can’t afford help, you’re doing it wrong.
FOUR TO SIX MONTHS TO GO Ω Settle on a band or DJ, or if you’re on a shoestring, research a sound system and playlist you can rig up yourself. Remember to make a “no-play” list, too, and to specify whether you want radio edits. Ω Find a good photographer. Ω Finalize details with your venue and vendors, including minutiae like chair covers. These bland but important add-ons often aren’t included in initial quotes.
even catch on. Ω Stay in regular touch with your vendors, including the venue manager, caterer and equipmentrental company. Deposits are due now or soon, and credit cards usually won’t do. Ω If you want a custom wedding band or are altering heirloom rings to suit your tastes, you’d best find a good jeweler. If you’re relying on a jewelry store, start shopping.
by GeorGia Fisher GeorGiaF@ newsreview.com
Ω Ensure the bride(s) and any bridesmaids have their dresses and shoes, as well as an initial dress fitting. If you’re triaging time and money, you can hold off on any tux rentals for now. Ω Send invitations and set a firm RSVP date that’s no less than two weeks in advance.
LESS THAN A MONTH TO GO Ω Rent tuxes, if you haven’t already. Places like Men’s Wearhouse are virtually identical nationwide, so you can often
The big to-do
ONE OR TWO D AY S T O G O Ω Now’s the time for manicures, pedicures, and anything else that’ll help you feel polished. Men: If you’ve always had a beard, don’t suddenly shave as a surprise. It rarely goes over well. Ω Get your marriage license. Ω Find out exactly where your rings are, and who’s keeping track of them. Ω Take time to unwind at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. You’re almost legal! Ω Sleep, if possible.
D AY - O F
Your c hec k l i St b efore You wA l k down the AiS l e Ω If you’re going on a honeymoon, be sure you’ve booked any relevant flights, hotel rooms, tour packages and so on. Same goes for any out-of-town bachelor and/ or bachelorette parties. Ω Get yourselves an officiant, whether a clergy person, local judge or favorite uncle. Anyone can be ordained online in a few minutes, if it comes down to it. Ω Finish your guest list and send save-the-date notices. Insensitive or not, the best way to cut costs is to pare down your invitations. If you’re worried, draw up lists of people who’re loosely categorized per your relationships, e.g., “Alabama cousins,” “Daddy’s colleagues,” “incarcerated,” and all the rest. That way, if you have to cut an entire network, no one will be too hurt—should they
Ω Build your gift registry. Gauche as it can feel to ask for presents, a list is helpful to folks who’ll give you something no matter what. It’s not customary or polite to reference the registry in your invitation, however, and it’s damned near criminal to send it to someone you haven’t invited.
TWO TO FOUR MONTHS TO GO
be fitted in one store and pick up the garment in another. Ω Schedule any men’s haircuts, taking care to have them done at least a week or two before the wedding so any razor burns or bad shave-jobs will have time to fade. Women should schedule salon appointments, too. Ω Check in again with all vendors, especially caterers, as they’ll probably want firm menu decisions by now. Your final headcount is due in the coming weeks. Ω Talk a friend into picking up your bouquet(s) on the big day, and ask for help with any DIY flower arrangements and décor.
Ω Meet with your DJ, if you’ve hired one, and remember that he or she is probably onboard to steer and emcee the whole evening. Talk details.
ONE WEEK TO GO
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tanning, and what have you. If you’re getting a spray tan, know you’ll have to wear minimal clothing afterward and probably go without underthings for the rest of the day. Ω Have a final dress and/or tux fitting, and don’t try crash dieting at this point. It just might work, and then your bra could slowly slide down to your abdomen during the ceremony (I would know). Ω Ensure all your bases are covered, especially if you don’t have a planner or day-of coordinator in your corner. Has someone agreed to sign for alcohol and food deliveries? Should you bring a curling iron to your dressing room? You get the idea.
Ω Eat breakfast. This isn’t optional. Ω Take a hot bath, have a mimosa, go for a run, or do whatever else will keep you relatively calm for the next few hours. Ω Hairstyling and any professional makeup application should obviously be underway at this point. Your photographer will probably arrive right about now for makeready shots. Ω Freaking out? Ask anyone in your radius for help. If your little cousin is staring at his phone, for instance, make his ass carry some chairs. If your caterers are MIA, give your aunt their phone number and wash your hands of it. She’ll find ’em. Ω Take a deep breath. If you’ve neglected something at this point and are plumb out of time, forgive yourself and move on. You’re surrounded by people who love you and want only to see you happy. Ω Ω Have fun!
Ω Do any last-minute teeth whitening, hair coloring, sunless
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