I, Lover | SATB | Marybeth Kurnat | MusicSpoke

I, Lover

I shall never have any fear of love Not of its depth or uttermost height Its exquisite pain, or its terrible delight I shall never have any fear of love.

I shall never hesitate to go down Into the fastness of its abyss Nor shrink from its cruelty, nor its awful kiss I shall never have any fear of love.

Never shall I dread love’s strength Nor any pain it may give Through all of the years that I may live I shall never have any fear of love.

I shall never draw back from love Through fear of its fast pain But make joy in it and count it again I shall never have any fear of love.

I shall never tremble nor flinch From love’s moulding touch, I have loved too terribly and too much Ever to have any fear of love.

Composer’s Notes

Elsa Gidlow (1898-1986) was one of the first openly gay journalists and poets in North America. Throughout the 20th century, she published several collections of LGBTQ prose and poetry. Her ranch in Muir Woods, CA, was a safe haven for artists, feminists and LGBTQ people from 1954 until her death. In a period of time when LGBTQ people were either largely ignored or aggressively persecuted, Gidlow’s persistence and strong sense of identity throughout her long life brought visibility, safety and humanity for her community.

I wrote this setting of I, Lover to submit to True Concord’s Stephen Paulus Emerging Composer’s Competition. It was programmed in a concert cycle featuring poetry and music by under-represented voices. Gidlow’s words seem to serve as both a meditation and a battle cry. Paired with lush and tense harmonies, moments of declaration and stillness, and intense dynamic changes, one can experience all of the beautiful and painful stages of being in love.

about the composer

Marybeth Kurnat (1987) is an emerging voice in choral music in the Chicago area. Her authentic compositional style, especially her harmonic language, is heavily influenced by her musical foundation as a jazz saxophonist. Her work, “I, Lover,” was the 2021-22 Winner of the Stephen Paulus Emerging Composer’s Competition. She was a 2023 Composition Fellow for the PREMIERE|Project Festival.

Marybeth holds a B.M. in Music Education from Northern Illinois University, and serves as a music educator in DeKalb, IL. She maintains an active performance schedule as a soloist and choral singer with several Chicago-area choirs.

©2021 emm bee kay music

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score is not licensed for performance. Please visit MusicSpoke.com to purchase performance copies.

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