For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 1
How ISIS came to be Three years ago, ISIS did not exist – now it controls vast swaths of Syria and Iraq. How did we get here?
By Ali Khedery Three years ago, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) did not exist; now it controls vast swaths of Syria and Iraq. Showing off its handiwork daily via Twitter and YouTube, ISIS has repeatedly demonstrated that it is much more than a transnational terrorist organization – rather, it is an entity with sophisticated command, control, propaganda and logistical capabilities, and one that has proven its ability to take and hold strategically critical territory at the heart of the Middle East. But as world leaders grapple with how to respond to this unprecedented crisis, they must first understand how ISIS came to exist. Principally, ISIS is the product of a genocide that continued unabated as the world stood back and watched. It is the illegitimate
child born of pure hate and pure fear – the result of 200,000 murdered Syrians and of millions more displaced and divorced from their hopes and dreams. ISIS’s rise is also a reminder of how Bashar al-Assad’s Machiavellian embrace of al-Qaida would come back to haunt him. Facing Assad’s army and intelligence services, Lebanon’s Hezbollah, Iraq’s Shia Islamist militias and their grand patron, Iran’s Revolutionary Guards, Syria’s initially peaceful protesters quickly became disenchanted, disillusioned and disenfranchised – and then radicalised and violently militant.
Con’t. on next page
EDUCATION
According to the U.S. Department of Labor, employment for cybersecurity professionals is projected to grow by 37% by 2020.* Reinvent yourself to meet the growing demand for cybersecurity professionals, whether in the military or out. Plus, you can learn from experts using curriculum that’s continually assessed by advisory councils so you can be confident you’re learning the latest developments in the field.
THE DEMAND FOR CYBERSECURITY HAS NEVER BEEN BIGGER. LEARN THE SKILLS YOU NEED FOR THE CAREER YOU WANT. B.S. IN CYBERSECURITY M.S. IN CYBERSECURITY STUDIES
AMUONLINE.COM/PRESS *Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor, Occupational Outlook Handbook report on Information Security Analysts (Job Outlook, 2012 -2022). Published Date: Jan. 8, 2014. We want you to make an informed decision about the university that’s right for you. For more about the graduation rate and median debt of students who completed each program, as well as other important information—visit www.APUS.edu/disclosure.
2 September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
ISIS
Displaced people from the minority Yazidi sect, fleeing violence from forces loyal to the Islamic State in Sinjar town, ride a donkey as they make their way towards the Syrian border, on the outskirts of Sinjar mountain, near the Syrian border town of Elierbeh, on August 10, 2014. Islamic State militants have killed at least 500 members of Iraq’s Yazidi ethnic minority during their offensive in the north.
Cont’d. from Page 3 The Shia Islamist axis used chemical weapons, artillery and barrel bombs to preserve its crescent of influence. Syria’s Sunni Arab revolutionaries in turn sought international assistance, and when the world refused, they embraced a pact with the devil, al-Qaida. With its fiercely loyal army of transnational jihadis, al-Qaida once again gained a foothold in the heart of the Middle East. Fuelled by the hate and fear engendered by images of dismembered children or women suffering from the effects of chemical weapons, disaffected youth from around the world rushed to Syria, fuelling an ever more violent race to the bottom. Next door in Iraq, an emboldened Nouri al-Maliki waged his own sectarian campaign to consolidate power, betraying promises to his political partners to share it around. Within days of being welcomed at the White House and praised by Barack Obama for his leadership, Maliki returned to Baghdad to mastermind the arrest of his principal Sunni rival, vice-president Tariq al-Hashimi. Supported by Iran and armed with US-made Humvees, M-16s, and M1A1 tanks, Maliki’s forces closed in on Hashimi, only to see him flee to Kurdistan. Dozens of his guards were imprisoned on terrorism charges. At least one of them died under interrogation.
(Reuters/ Rodi Said)
es, as millions of Iraqis once again saw that they had no stake in Iraq’s success – only its failure. Claiming intelligence that al-Qaida had penetrated the protest camps, Maliki crushed them with lethal force. Several dozen were killed during an Iraqi military raid in Hawija in April 2013, further inflaming what were already spiking sectarian tensions. Despite pleas from the highest levels in Washington, Maliki’s government did virtually nothing to halt the Iranian Revolutionary Guards’ flights to resupply the Assad regime with thousands of tons of military hardware and ammunition. Meanwhile, a Shia Islamist ally of Maliki privately conceded to me last year that senior officials in the Iraqi government were turning a blind eye – or even actively supporting – the dispatch of thousands of Iraqi Shia fight-
ers to participate in the spiralling ShiaSunni holy war in Syria.
gional tribes such as the Shammar and Anezah, faced with countless dead and persecuted members in both countries, These militias – the Badr Corps, banded together with former Iraqi and Asaib Ahl al-Haq, the Promised Day Syrian military officers, embracing Brigades, among others – were warmly Another Christmas purge followed ISIS jihadis as their frontline shock embraced by Maliki. Indeed, Badr’s a year later, when a second prominent troops. Cash poured in from sympacommander is none other than Iraq’s Sunni rival, the finance minister Rafea thetic donors around the region. incumbent transport minister, Hadi alal-Essawi, found his home surrounded Iraq’s four Sunni Arab provinces fell Ameri. by Maliki’s US-made tanks. He fled to within days, entire Iraqi army divisions the sanctuary of his tribe in Iraq’s AnIronically, al-Qaida’s wholesale in- evaporated, and hundreds of millions bar province, and was eliminated from troduction into Iraq came at the hands of dollars worth of advanced American Iraqi politics. of Assad’s regime. From 2005 until the military equipment was seized by ISIS Facing mass unrest, Iraq’s Sunni end of the American occupation of and its allies. Fuelled by what was inArab provincial councils voted for Iraq, Assad’s military intelligence ser- creasingly a regional Sunni-Shia proxy semi-autonomous rule like that of the vices and their Iranian backers sought war, Iraq and Syria had become incuneighbouring Kurdistan region. Maliki to defeat the US forces by training, bators for transnational jihad and reliblocked the implementation of a referfinancing and arming al-Qaida opera- gious hate. endum through bureaucratic ploys, in tives inside Syria and dispatching them As world leaders now consider a contravention of Iraq’s constitution. across the border to foment chaos and military campaign to confront ISIS, Demonstrations of civil disobedidestruction. they should remember the lessons of ence erupted across the Sunni provincAmerica’s costly and largely fruitless General David Petraeus and othengagements in Iraq, Afghanistan and er senior American officials warned Vietnam. They should understand that Assad that he was igniting a fire that no amount of foreign military power would eventually burn his house down, can ever make up for the misrule of but Damascus did nothing to stop the corrupt, failed governments like those flow of fighters, culminating in a cripSeptember 1, 2014 in Damascus, Baghdad, Kabul or Saipling blow to Maliki’s government the Production / Web Publisher gon. Unless they want a regional holy day Iraq’s foreign and finance minisSandra Powers • Joe Yang Richard T. Matz war, leaders should especially discount tries were bombed. Maliki publicly the advice of some who are now calling Distribution Customer Service Manager condemned his future ally in Damascus for an alliance with Assad’s genocidal Robert Wood Carol Williams for the attack. regime – perhaps the single greatest Contributing Writers Advertising Manager And so, Syria’s unravelling spilled root cause of ISIS’s rise. into Iraq, and vice versa. Powerful reDoug Aguillard Valerie Swaine Instead, they should embrace the Crystal Arriaga Account Representatives: lessons of Iraq’s Sunni tribal awakenMort Fertel • Art Garcia Michelle Hull ing, that only Syrian and Iraqi Sunnis Howard Hian • Keith Angelin Victoria Wills can defeat radical militant Sunni enJeri Jacquin, The Movie Maven tities like ISIS. Likewise, they should Public Relations Jessamyn Patterson understand that only the mullahs in Lisa Matz Tehran can help quell radical militant Contact Us: Shia entities like Lebanon’s Hezbol430 North Cedar, Suite C • Escondido, CA 92025 lah, Assad’s intelligence operatives or Iraq’s militias. Tel 858.537.2280 Fax 858.578.3882 • Ali Khedery is chairman and chief www.militarypress.com ª editorsdesk@militarypress.com executive of Dragoman Partners, a straThe Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newstegic consultancy. He served as special paper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military assistant to five American ambassadors Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materiin Iraq and as senior adviser to three als appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing heads of US Central Command from products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscrip2003-10. He was the longest continution by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses. ously serving American official in Iraq. For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 3
The Military Press
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
ISIS’s plan for world domination By Richard Matz, Publisher ISIS has already begun its plan for world domination. They’ve cut out a piece of Syria and Iraq the size of South Carolina for their terrorist Islamic state. Sharia Law has already been put into place and taken the lives of thousands of Christians, Muslims, Americans and anyone they feel they have the absolute right to put to death. If you think the beheading of the American James Foley was an isolated, gruesome act, your entirely mistaken. The picture below depicts exactly what happened to Christian Muslims located in the city of Qaraqosh. Some of my editorial colleagues felt the picture might be too gruesome to be published in my article, but I totally disagree. We Americans need to get our heads out of the sand and understand that from now on. each and every day. we will see on our TV news programs atrocities committed by the ISIS terrorists. ISIS is funded by many different countries, groups and individuals who want to see the white, black, brown, yellow and red — yes, all Americans — put to death and drowned in our own blood. If ISIS is permitted to take over a large part of the Arab world, we know absolutely for sure that Israel will be the first country to be wiped off the face of the earth. Once Israel is no longer the tiny but dominating country in the Middle East, the world will be ISIS’ oyster. A look at 99% of all countries that have uprisings and terrorist attacks shows they are committed by radical Islamists. It is starting to become the domino effect. One area, one country and with the one and only objective of world denomination and instituting Sharia Law throughout the land. I hate giving credit to Vladimir Putin but he realized the effects of Muslims becoming radical and destroying
Russia. He took immediate action in Bosnia when a radical group took over a school and the radicals killed over 400 people inside the building. Putin is not as dumb as he appears to be and you have to give them credit for protecting his country. I know many people have doubts about a supreme being — or God if you will — and the prophecy in the Bible that the yellow race will roll the world at the end of time. When I look at the world today that prophecy seems to be more accurate than fiction. If Isis and radical Islam goes unchecked (NOW ) the only country eventually that will be able to defeat Isis morally, monetarily, mentally and militarily… will be China.
My uneducated but common sense solution
We must use all of our technology and support in arming and defending any Kurdish, Syrian or Iraqi people that want to be free and not controlled by terrorist Islamic groups such as Hamas, Al Qaeda, Isis or any other groups that supports Sharia Law. I’m not talking about boots on the ground but we need to put upwards to 10,000 advisors to direct and support these countries.
We also also need to fight the terrorist by using some of his own tactics, I’m referring to their demands for ransom for any prisoners they have in captivity. We need to offer hard cash — American dollars — to any Muslims that turns in a proven Islamic terrorist, or groups and their whereabouts so that we may send in our drones and eliminate them forever. In closing, if we wait much longer and I’m talking about (NOW ) we will surely have another 9/11 or worse. Our military leaders know that ISIS is the worst enemy and threat to the United States. We must close our borders NOW. (The money spent housing and feeding illegal aliens should be spent on America’s protection and our homeless veterans… not criminals.)
A file image allegedly shows militants of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) executing dozens of captured Iraqi security forces members at an unknown location in the Salaheddin province (AFP Photo / HO)
4 September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
Feed the Children: Serving the country by serving the military Feed the Children is grateful for your service to our country, and we want you to know we’re here to help support you. Our vision is to create a world where no child goes to bed hungry. And that includes kids right here in the U.S., especially when their parents are working so hard to defend it. We know military families often have tight budgets and extra burdens, so Feed the Children does what we can to help. It’s our honor to visit military bases around the country and deliver boxes full of nutritious food (which can supplement meals for a family of four
for up to a week), household essentials, and hygiene products to families who could use a boost. And we’re committed to supporting our military employees, too. Feed the Children was recently awarded the Above and Beyond Award for our support of active military employees, and we’re currently a nominee for the Secretary of Defense Freedom Award by the Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve. Your family serves our country— it’s Feed the Children’s honor to serve you. CFC CHARITY
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Please get your “isms” straight
To the Editor and Chuck Baldwin, Thank you for your timely article “Police State USA.” It is particularly relevant with the events in Ferguson, Mo. However I wish to call attention to a egregious error in the article. In the opening paragraph a contributing factor to this clear and present threat to all Americans is identified as a “slide into socialism.” You need to get your “isms” straight. The slide is into FACISM not socialism. The oppressive tactics and, more importantly, overarching attitudes that support a militarized police state are those of Nazi’s in the style of Hitler’s Germany, Mussolini’s Italy etc. Socialism, in stark contrast, holds at its core the principle of the state operating as an advocate for the general masses. Most of our historic allies, and most of the both happiest and most prosperous nations on earth have socialism as their operating system. The entire British Commonwealth (Canada, New Zealand, Australia) all of the Scandinavian nations, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, also Italy, Mexico, all with Socialized Medicine systems in place. Ironically, where I find your publication, the VA Hospital, is a prime example of a tremendously successful socialized, single-payer system, despite continued attempts to under fund it (a trend reversed by Obama). This is socialism at its best and we are fortunate to have it. — Dr. Robert Freeman Nam Era U.S. Army Vet
HeLp Kids Be Kids No matter where they’re from or what they look like, kids are naturally joyful, playful, curious, and exuberant. But hunger robs them of all that.
At Feed the Children, we team up with partners, donors, and volunteers to provide kids with nutritious food throughout the year, educational supplies during school, and essentials when disasters strike. Because when they don’t have to worry about those things, kids can focus on what they do best: being kids. We’re creating a world where no child goes to bed hungry. And you can help.
Learn more at feedthechildren.org CFC #10986
For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 5
Richard Nixon 37th President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1969 to Aug. 9, 1974
“I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.” — Richard Nixon
1955 Cadillac
Spiro Agnew 39th Vice President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1969 to Oct. 10, 1973 (resigned)
World events
• Cyclone in Bangladesh kills 500,000 • Earthquake in Peru kills 67,000 • Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty goes into effect after ratification by 43 nations • Paul McCartney announces the Beatles have disbanded • Apollo 13 mission to moon abandoned • Japan becomes the world’s “fourth space power,” after the Soviet Union (1957), the U.S. (1958), and France (1965) • President Abdel Nasser of Egypt dies; 5 million turn out to honor him
• The Liberian registered tanker Pacific Glory spills up to 100,000 gallons of crude oil into the English Channel, creating a huge oil slick and environmental disaster • South Australia suffers its worst number of fires, killing at least 75 and injuring 800 • U.S. invades Cambodia • Cholera epidemic in Istanbul • World’s population reaches 3.63 billion • Japan has 1,083 people per sq. mile • Aswan High Dam in Egypt is completed • Brazil wins third World Cup with Pele as
fault” divorce • Chicago Seven defendants found guilty of intent to incite a riot in 1968 • Dow Jones drops to 631 • National Guard fire on and kill four protestors at Kent State
the captain
U.S. news
• First Earth Day celebrated • Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) begins operation • U.S. increases import duty taxes to protect American jobs • U.S. population reaches 205 million; 85 people per sq. mile • Hurricane Celia makes landfall near Corpus Christi, Texas, leaving 15 dead • Voting age lowered to 18 from 21 • California becomes first state to adopt “no
1970 Porsche 6 August September 1, 2014 1, 2014 THE THE MILITARY MILITARY PRESS PRESS
Technology
• The daisy-wheel printer invented • The floppy disk invented
Popular culture
• Isle of Wight Festival — 600,000 attend largest rock festival of all time. Lineup includes Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The Doors, Chicago, Richie Havens, John Sebastian, Joan Baez, Emerson, Lake & Palmer, and Jethro Tull
hootings Kent State S
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
remember when...
1970 Datsun 240Z
0 7 19 AVERAGE COST OF LIVING
• Jimi Hendrix dies of barbiturate overdose in London • Janis Joplin dies in a cheap motel from a heroin overdose • The first New York Marathon is run
Movies
• M•A•S•H • Patton • Woodstock • Hello, Dolly! • Catch-22 • On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
BORN THIS YEAR: Kelly Ripa, talk show host. Above left: Matt Damon, actor; Tina Fey, comedian and actress; Vince Vaughn, actor; Uma Thurman, actress
Diana Ross • “I’ll Be There,” Jackson 5 • “Get Ready,” Rare Earth • “Let It Be,” Beatles • “Band of Gold,” Freda Payne
TV shows
Music
• “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” Simon and Garfunkel • “(They Long To Be) Close to You,” Carpenters • “American Woman / No Sugar Tonight,” Guess Who • “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head,” B.J. Thomas • “War,” Edwin Starr • “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,”
• All My Children • The Partridge Family • Mary Tyler Moore • The Odd Couple • McCloud • Nanny and the Professor • NFL Monday Night Football • Flip
Born this year
• Income per year ........ $9,400 • Minimum wage ............ $1.60 • New house ............. $23,450 • Monthly rent .................. $140 • New car ..................... $2,500 • Gallon of gas ................... 36¢ • Dozen eggs ..................... 62¢ • Gallon of milk ............... $1.15 • Loaf of bread ...................... 25 • First-class stamp ............... 6¢ • Movie ticket .................. $1.30
• Mariah Carey, singer • Queen Latifah, actress • Melissa McCarthy, actress • Sarah Silverman, comedian • Heather Graham, actress • Phil Mickelson, golfer • Mark Foster, Olympian • UmaThurman, actress • Leah Remini, TV actress
1970 Plymouth Roadrunner Convertible For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 7
With affordable accommodations, top-notch amenities and entertainment, lots of indoor fun and outdoor events, Laughlin is the perfect place to get away! Laughlin has everything you and your friends and family need to make your next getaway fun and memorable. Laughlin is just 90 miles south of Las Vegas, an easy drive on major Southern California, Arizona and Nevada highways; plus, air travelers can enjoy the convenience of direct air charter flight packages. Choose from nine distinct casino re-
sort hotels that line the banks of one of the most pristine parts of the Colorado River. You’ll experience accommodations that are comfortable and affordable with beautiful views of the river or surrounding desert mountain landscape. Parking is always complimentary and you won’t find resort fees in Laughlin. Laughlin’s compact stretch of hotels
is connected by a river walk. You can take a leisurely stroll to easily visit any of the Laughlin resorts along the river’s
COMMUNITY
HELP CARRY OUR WOUNDED WARRIORS HOME.
Wounded Warrior Project’s purpose is to raise awareness and enlist the public’s aid for the needs of injured service members; to help injured servicemen and women aid and assist each other; and to provide unique, direct programs and services to meet their needs. Learn more or find out how you can help at woundedwarriorproject.org. , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
8 September 1, 2014 MILITARY PRESS © 2011 Wounded Warrior Project THE All Rights Reserved ®
shoreline or board a paddle-wheel boat for a daily narrated cruise or two-hour dinner cruise. Take the half-day jet boat excursion from Laughlin to the London Bridge for some scenic sightseeing. Enjoy exciting outdoor adventure on the river with wave runner, canoe or kayak rentals. Perhaps you’re more of a land lover when it comes to outdoor recreation. Explore the rugged desert terrain in an ATV or UTV off-road vehicle. Too much dirt and not enough green? Then hit the links for a challenging round of golf. You’ll find six 18-hole courses within 30 minutes of the resorts and Laughlin’s weather makes great golf a year-round option. The North Reach Park and Trails has five miles of hiking, jogging, bicycling and equestrian trails, day-use area with a grassy amphitheater, and children’s playground and spray pad. Then … it’s showtime! Some of the biggest names in music have taken the stage in Laughlin, from Reba McEntire to Toby Keith to Rascal Flatts. From huge concerts to intimate lounge shows to some of the country’s top comedians giving you a night of memorable laughs, you’ll find them all in Laughlin. You’re sure to work up quite an appetite and, fortunately, there are unique and fun restaurants that will satisfy any taste bud and budget. The Colorado Belle’s Loading Dock Bar & Grille serves terrific Southwestern barbeque with indoor and outdoor patio seating. Bumbleberry Flats in the Pioneer serves up American comfort food with a Southern twist and features tableside beer taps. Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. at Golden Nugget Laughlin has all your seafood favorites with outdoor deck seating overlooking the Colorado River. You can treat your palate to more elegant dining at Riverside Resort’s Gourmet Room, The Range steak house at Harrah’s, or The Steakhouse at Tropicana. You’ll also find casual cafes and all-you-can-eat buffets. Toss in a little pampering with an invigorating spa treatment, big-name entertainment options year-round and exciting nightlife, and you’ll see why Laughlin is the perfect place to plan your next getaway. For more, go to VisitLaughlin.com.
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
Obama fiddles while Marine sits in jail By Rep. Duncan Hunter In a jail cell in Mexico sits Andrew Tahmooressi, a former Marine Corps Sergeant who served honorably and survived two combat tours in Afghanistan. For almost five months, Andrew has languished in prison for simply taking a wrong turn into Mexico. In past months, President Obama has found enough time to respond to the proposed deportation of Justin Bieber, talk up the White House beer recipe and offer insights into a wide variety of topics that are comparatively insignificant. His own online petition page collected more than the 120,000 signatures, thereby requiring a response from the White House. But Obama has yet to utter a single word on behalf of Tahmooressi. As a combat Marine, Andrew saved lives on at least two occasions and survived a roadside bomb blast that destroyed his vehicle and injured himself and others. His promotion to Sergeant came meritoriously and either on the battlefield or off, his commitment to his fellow Marines was unbreakable. In every sense, Andrew was a top-notch. The alleged crime by no means presents any real shock value: Andrew entered Mexico with three legally owned firearms. He did not conceal the weapons or attempt to mislead Mexican border officials, who happened to deny his initial request to turn around. They confiscated his firearms and the rest of his possessions. That night and into the next day, he endured a period of deten-
tion that exceeded the permissible limits, and he was denied the appropriate translation services. The accusation was that Andrew was trafficking weapons but the facts support a far different version of events. The night he was arrested, Andrew was visiting friends near the border area. He was relatively new to San Diego, California, seeking treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at the recommendation and instance of friends who lived in the region, which is home to some of the best treatment and care facilities in the country. For area residents, some of whom have lived in San Diego their entire lives, the border is a complicated place, day or night, and wrong turns are quite common. For whatever reason, Mexican officials violated Andrew’s rights. In fact, my office recovered audio of the 911 phone call Andrew made immediately after he was directed into secondary screening. He tells the dispatcher that he took a wrong turn, that he didn’t intend to enter Mexico and that he pre-
sumed turning around was possible. The dispatcher informed him that he missed the turnaround and proceeded to say there was nothing that could be done to help. The 911 audio is critical to Andrew’s defense, among other key pieces of evidence revealed through several evidentiary hearings. The tape verifies Andrew’s intent not to enter Mexico while other violations, including the prolonged detention and failure to contact U.S. counterparts and provide a suitable translator, invalidate actions on the Mexican side of the border. Until recently, resolution seemed distant and sometimes uncertain. But new developments in the case could produce a ruling as early as next week thanks in part to a range of legal options that are under serious consideration. The expectation is that Mexico will do the right thing and release Andrew. Through this entire episode, it is worth noting that Mexico-despite maintaining the belief that its justice
system should be given a chance to work-has been relatively direct and open to conversation on Andrew’s detention. Conversely, the President, his Administration and State Department have been silent. And for the most part, any support provided by the State Department has been routine under the circumstances. A Marine of Andrew’s caliber deserves more from his government. By now, the President and his Administration probably won’t make a difference in Andrew’s case but out of respect to our veterans and our military, the President should try to make an effort at least. Andrew is owed that much from the Commander in Chief he courageously served as U.S. Marine.
All advertisers in this newspaper are 100% certified MILITARY-FRIENDLY!
HOUSING
$546,250
For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
open!” As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile, “Did you see my big white Mustang?” The woman replies, “Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires.”
Pencil me in
Death bed confession
Just for Laughs
My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, “There’s something I must confess.” “Shhh,” I said, “there’s nothing to confess. Everythings alright.” “No I must die in peace. I had sex with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!” “I know,” I whispered, “That’s why I poisoned you, now close your eyes!”
Dictionary please
Son: “Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?” Dad: “Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That’s confidential.”
Fly joke
This guy comes back from the toilet, when a women says to him, “Hey, you have left your GARAGE door
PUZZLE PAGE
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
Ducks & elephants
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet? A: To put out fires. Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? A: To put out burning ducks.
Blonde in disguise
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. “Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?” she asks. The shepherd agrees. She blurts out, “352!” The shepherd is stunned but keeps
ACROSS 1. Very 5. Russian parliament 9. Dull pain 13. Dwarf buffalo 14. Sporting venue 16. Weightlifters pump this 17. Hobbling gait 18. Furnaces 19. Marsh plant 20. Stairs 22. Never-ending 24. Water barrier 26. Lacquer ingredient 27. Not success 30. Insect wounds 33. Temporary cessation 35. Harvests 37. 2,000 pounds 38. European currency 41. Take in slowly 42. Burn slightly 45. Aardvark 48. Yeast or baking powder 51. Thirstily 70. Oxen’s harness 52. Adult male 71. Caustics singing voice 54. Lawn mower brand DOWN 55. It produces electricity 1. Droops 59. Melodies 2. Module 62. Affirm 3. Funny woman 63. Certain European 4. Jubilantly shrubs 5. East Indian tree 65. Alone 6. Relating to urine 66. Opera star 7. Donnybrook 67. Tall woody plants 8. Chronicles 68. Portent 9. A company 69. Kill that flies 10. Algonquian Indian
10 September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
11. Garden tools 12. Terminates 15. Something of value 21. Gull-like bird 23. Arab chieftain 25. Sea eagle 27. Lipids 28. Agitated 29. Euro forerunner 31. Culinary art 32. Patter 34. Historic period 36. Agile 39. Half of a pair
his word and allows her to pick a sheep. “I’ll take this one,” she says proudly. “It’s the cutest!” “Hey lady,” says the shepherd. “If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?”
At the door
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog -- at least he’ll quiet down after you let him
out and said again, ‘’Your dog is dead’’. She was like ‘’Ok, how much do I owe you?’’ The doctor said ‘’$300’’ She said, ‘’What!?!? How could it cost that much??’’ He said ‘’$15 for me to say he was dead. Then $285 for the cat scan’’
The duck and the condom
Dog balls
Q: What do you call a dog that has balls of steel and is dragging them across cement? A: Sparky.
Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, “Oh, we haven’t got any condoms. I’ll ring down to room service.” He calls and asks for some condoms. The woman says, “OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?” “No,” he says, “I’ll suffocate!”
The dead dog
Everyone’s doing it
There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn’t at her feet. She found him in his bed ‘’sleeping’’. She called his name, but he didn’t get up. So she took him to the vet and told the vet that her dog wouldn’t wake up. So he looked at her dog and said, ‘’Your dog is dead’’. She asked the doctor to perform another test to be sure. The doctor went into another room, and came back with a cage. In it there was a cat. He let the cat out, and she walked around the dog, sniffed, and went back in her cage. The doc put the cat back in the other room. He came
40. Immediately 43. Entryway 44. Always 46. Prima donna problems 47. Spray can 49. Make into law 50. ___ public 53. Cowboy sport 55. Spurs 56. Wicked 57. Exploded star 58. Stink 60. Delight 61. Male offspring 64. South southeast
Q: What’s bright-eyed and bushytailed? A: A squirrel on crack.
Drowning lawyer
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Condom dog
A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, “What are you going to do with all of those?” The guy replies, “I taught my dog to swallow them, and now all l do is pickup little plastic baggies!”
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
YOU WATCH OUR BACK.
NOW WE’VE GOT YOURS. Usually, the best savings are on base. Until now. Nissan is proud to give back to our men and women of the military with the best savings program in the country. If you served, you can save big with Nissan’s Military Program. Now, all Active and Reserve U.S. Military, U.S. Retired Military, U.S. Veterans discharged from active service within the past year, and their spouses and partners can get the same pricing we give our Nissan friends and family. Just stop by our site, grab your qualified proof of military service and your VPP Claim ID, and head on over to your local Nissan Store1. It’s that easy to drive home an exciting new Nissan.
Visit: NissanUSA.com/military for more details.
1
The Department of Defense does not endorse any company, sponsor or their products or services. Always wear your seat belt and please don’t drink and drive. Nissan, the Nissan Brand Symbol, Innovation That Excites, and Nissan model names are Nissan trademarks. ©2014 Nissan North America, Inc. All rights reserved.
For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
Send money for less. Money Transfer
Save up to
50
% on money transfer fees*
Send up to $50 for only 450 or send up to $900 for only 950
*Compared to other money transfer providers at Walmart for 12 months ending 6/13/14. Savings vary by transfer amount. Available for domestic transfers up to $900. Visit the Walmart MoneyCenter for details. Ria is a registered trademark of Continental Exchange Solutions, Inc. dba Ria Financial Services, licensed as a Money Transmitter by the Department of Financial Services of the State of New York and authorized to conduct Money Transmitter services in all United States jurisdictions where it operates.
12 September 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com