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Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Ann Arbor, Michigan

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University-affiliated fraternities conduct freshman fall recruitment in violation of U-M regulations

What does reality

At least one fraternity used freshman pledges as sober monitors without proper Fraternity & Sorority Life training CLAIRE HAO

Daily Staff Reporter

Editor’s Note: The Michigan Daily has used several anonymous sources to report this story. As stated in the article, we are honoring our sources’ requests to be quoted anonymously due to fears of retaliation from their fraternity brothers or the greater fraternity and sorority life community for speaking out. In accordance with our ethics policy (which can be found in full in our bylaws), the reporter of this article and two editors have seen the names and fraternity affiliations of our sources, as well as the evidence they provided The Daily. Fraternities affiliated with the Interfraternity Council have engaged in recruitment of freshmen members this semester against University of Michigan policy, a

Michigan Daily investigation has discovered. The IFC is a governing body for most fraternities overseen by the University. The Daily has confirmed at least eight out of the 18 IFC-affiliated fraternities invited freshmen to participate in the recruitment process, extended bids to freshmen or currently have freshmen pledges. Though all sources quoted in the article told The Daily they believe every IFC-affiliated fraternity conducted fall recruitment of freshmen students, The Daily could not independently confirm this information. The Daily was also given documentation showing at least one IFC-affiliated fraternity used freshmen pledges as sober monitors for at least one party, despite the fact these freshmen students did not receive the required Universityadministered training to serve in this capacity. The IFC is one of four fraternity and sorority life councils at the University. The Daily has received no

confirmation any organizations within the other three councils — the Panhellenic Association, the Multicultural Greek Council and the National Panhellenic Council — engaged in fall recruitment of freshmen students. The Ann Arbor Interfraternity Council, a group of fraternities that disaffiliated from the University last fall, does not fall under the University’s jurisdiction. Because they are not beholden to the deferred rush policy, these fraternities were free to openly recruit first-year students. The six students interviewed in this article have requested anonymity for fear of retaliation from the fraternity community. To protect the identities of these sources and their safety on campus, The Daily has decided not to publish the names of the fraternities linked to the evidence it has received nor the evidence itself. A freshman pledging an IFC-affiliated fraternity, who will be referred to as Student 1 in this article, shared with The Daily an email that was sent to him about “pledge education.” Because freshmen rushees and pledges are not registered

within and thus not recognized in the University’s fraternity and sorority life system, Student 1 said there would be no way for a freshman student who felt uncomfortable or unsafe to file a complaint or incident report. It would also be difficult to hold those responsible for harm within the fraternity accountable, Student 1 explained. “The University has no idea I’m pledging, they have no record of it,” Student 1 said. “I mean, officially they don’t have my name down. And if I die, now it is harder for them to prove that it’s because of a hazing incident.” “With any new policy enacted, implementation takes time to perfect” In March 2018, University administration decided to transition to deferred recruitment for freshmen students beginning in the 2019-2020 school year. All students eligible to participate in fraternity or sorority recruitment must have completed at least 12 credits at the University and be in good academic and behavioral standing. The change came a semester after the IFC voluntarily suspended all

social activities for two months in 2017 to avoid sanctions from the fraternities’ headquarters following multiple incidents of hazing, drug and alcohol abuse and sexual assault. Deferred recruitment was part of the University’s fiveyear Diversity, Equity and Inclusion plan for first-year students. The goal of the deferral was to enhance the first-year experience for students to “create opportunities for students to gain skills for long-term academic success, develop sustainable and healthy relationships and engage with a diverse living and learning community,” as detailed in the Year Two Progress Report. The IFC and the Panhellenic Association

mean to a diarist? See FRATS, Page 3A

Author: Forbes CEO calls for national Take Ross tax overhaul, criticizes socialism name off YAF hosts Steve Forbes for discussion on politics, economic policy of school BUSINESS

JASMIN LEE

Writer calls for removal of controversial donor, discusses philanthropy JENNA SITEMAN Daily Staff Reporter

Journalist and author Anand Giridharadas explained corporations can contribute to inequality while making misleading claims about philanthropy during a discussion Tuesday at the Ross School of Business. About 500 people attended the event, which was hosted by Joe Árvai, director of the Erb Institute for Global Sustainable Enterprise. Giridharadas, author of “Winner’s Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World,” is a Michigan alum. He previously worked as a journalist and covered India for the International Herald Tribune and The New York Times. Árvai asked Giridharadas about his newest book, as well as several other topics ranging from global management consulting for McKinsey & Company and working as a political commentator. Giridharadas spoke with The Daily prior to the event. He noted the recent controversy surrounding real estate developer Stephen M. Ross, the largest donor in the University’s history and for whom the Ross School of Business is named.

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FRATS From Page 1A “In addition, the Interfraternity Council has encouraged chapters to hold events to engage with first semester students to allow those students to explore the community prior to participating in winter recruitment, when they are eligible. All of the policies mentioned above also apply to these engagement events.” “To have a cone of silence around an issue is really difficult” The Daily obtained an email sent by School of Music, Theatre and Dance senior Benjamin Jozwiak, IFC vice president of recruitment, to all attendees of the IFC Open Forum on Sept. 16. The forum is an event where every IFC-affiliated fraternity has a table for interested students to learn more about their organization. In the email, Jozwiak encouraged students “regardless of eligibility” to attend the open houses. However, he instructed only eligible students to formally register for recruitment through the Recruitment and Intake Gateway. Jozwiak did not respond to a request for comment. The Daily also reached out to all IFCaffiliated fraternities on campus but did not receive any responses by the time of publication. In an interview with The Daily, Nicole Banks, assistant dean of students and interim director of Fraternity and Sorority Life, said the University sent materials in the mail and direct emails to all first-year students clearly outlining the new eligibility requirements. In addition, Banks said the FSL Office held public presentations with leaders of chapters and councils, alumni and advisers to discuss the new regulations. Banks said enforcement of the policy centered around making sure it was well-known, especially among incoming students and their families. “And if someone really wants to suppress something that’s happening and especially if it’s happening off-campus, they’ll find a way, because we’re not spies,” Banks said. “We’re not out in spaces monitoring what students are doing at their offcampus homes or facilities.” Banks explained students who are not eligible for recruitment are allowed to attend events open to the public in order to learn more about the various fraternities and sororities at the University. However, only eligible students are allowed to attend closed recruitment events, such as invite-only events, which are meant for potential new members and current members of the fraternity, she said. “If a chapter is holding a closed event that is for their members and their potential new members, then people ought to meet the institutional eligibility criteria and their headquarter’s eligibility criteria,” Banks said. “I hope students operated in good faith, that if an event were open, there wasn’t anyone who was turned away for any reason.” But all students interviewed for this article took part in at least some of the rush process, and The Daily has obtained text messages of IFC-affiliated fraternity brothers asking freshmen to come to various invite-only rush events. One student said he learned about rush through a post on the Class of 2023 Facebook group by the IFC-affiliated fraternity he is currently pledging, while others attended the IFC Open Forum. Banks said the FSL Office has heard rumors from students about violations of this policy. However, Banks said these rumors have been anonymous and have not named the organizations that participated, making it difficult for the University to take action. “To have a cone of silence around an issue is really difficult,” Banks said. “The thought that these chapters, or some of these chapters, are violating a policy that could lead to harm, and not to have anything to narrow the scope of where to look, who to talk to, when to be concerned, what activities look like, what the extent of potential harm could be is really difficult.” The Daily contacted the headquarters of every IFC-

affiliated fraternity on campus. Alpha Delta Phi, Alpha Tau Omega, Beta Theta Pi, Delta Upsilon, Delta Tau Delta, Phi Kappa Psi, Psi Upsilon, Sigma Chi and Sigma Nu all responded, the majority writing they have no role in enforcing University policies that they believe infringe on students’ constitutional rights to free association. The headquarters for Chi Phi, Delta Sigma Phi, Lambda Chi Alpha, Phi Gamma Delta, Phi Kappa Tau, Phi Kappa Alpha, Theta Delta Chi, Theta Xi and Triangle did not reply by time of publication. The Daily contacted multiple sources on-campus requesting an interview without anonymity to discuss their knowledge of IFC-affiliated fraternities recruiting freshmen students. All individuals either did not respond or declined to comment, citing fear of retaliation or social repercussions from the fraternity and sorority community. Banks urged those who have knowledge of policy violations to report these situations to the FSL Office. She noted students can choose to report anonymously if they’d prefer. “If people are circumventing recruitment processes, tips, complaints, reports to our office help us to have constructive conversations and interventions where we need to,” Banks said. “If there’s compelling evidence an organization violated policies, a panel will review that and determine first whether or not there’s responsibility for violating policy, but also what’s the appropriate sanction.” “Because of dirty rush, I’m not supposed to be rushing” Student 2 is a freshman who received a bid from an IFCaffiliated fraternity but decided not to continue with the pledging process. Student 2 believes freshmen made up the majority of students participating in recruitment events and every IFC-affiliated fraternity had fall recruitment of freshmen. The Daily could not independently confirm these statements. “Literally every single affiliated frat did fall rush,” Student 2 said. “For the freshmen, I think it might be they count them as winter rushes, so they get registered when those do.” According to Banks, students planning to pursue membership in an IFC-affiliated fraternity are required to complete the Recruitment and Intake Gateway and register within the Campus Director database. Chapters are also supposed to provide the names of all students who received a bid. Despite the University’s regulations, Student 3, a current freshman pledge in another IFC-affiliated fraternity, said he felt many people on campus knew IFC-affiliated fraternities were accepting freshmen as new members. Student 3 shared a screenshot of the pledge group chat he belongs to with The Daily. “I don’t think there was a huge impact, like I don’t feel like ‘Oh, don’t tell anyone’ or that I’m not allowed to talk about this or anything,” Student 3 said. Additionally, Student 1 said he has not taken part in any of the training programs required by the University or his fraternity’s headquarters. Though necessary training varies between individual fraternities, the University and the IFC require all potential new fraternity members to complete workshops and courses on bystander behavior, hazing awareness and the University’s policies on sexual and genderbased misconduct. “Because of dirty rush, I’m not supposed to be rushing, I have received zero training,” Student 1 said. “Sophomores are enrolled in that because they are not in this hidden process. They can do it because they are known by the University, but if I do it I screw over myself and the fraternity, so I can’t.” “If you are a pledge, you should be doing the training that’s necessary” One training program all new members of fraternities are required to complete is a 1.5hour University module on how to be a sober monitor. A sober monitor is a fraternity member who does not drink and works to keep parties and guests safe in situations involving alcohol and/or drugs.

News Student 3 said he has acted as a sober monitor at one party, serving alcohol at the bar. Student 3 confirmed he wore the neon orange shirt required by IFC policy to identify the party’s designated sober monitors. In lieu of official sober monitor training, Student 3 explained he received approximately five to 10 minutes of verbal instruction from a brother and a written list describing all the roles. The Daily has obtained a copy of these written instructions. “I was sober monitoring, obviously I didn’t have the training for that, I was just kind of given an overview by one of the brothers that had been trained,” Student 3 said. “Within the people that were sobering, I would say it was roughly about 25 percent pledges and 75 percent of brothers who’d done the training. The head sober kind of like went through all those descriptions and asked if we understood what our job is, if we had any questions about it.” Though Student 3 said he felt confident in his ability to carry out his roles, he said this is because he didn’t encounter a high-stress situation during his shift. “If you are a pledge, you should be doing the training that’s necessary,” Student 3 said. According to Banks, having freshmen students serve as sober monitors without training puts everyone who attends the event at risk. In addition, she said the situation is unfair to Ann Arbor residents who live near chapter houses and expect proper risk management. “I worry — I’m not saying this is the case, because I feel like we’re talking hypothetically — I worry about hazing,” Banks said. “What makes this person take on the responsibility of managing risk management at, I don’t know, a chapter facility of 6,000 square feet and hundreds of guests at a tailgate here in Michigan?... I think that the first-year student may not recognize the lack of power in that situation to actually confront problematic behavior and risk.” “They didn’t bring up the policy” Student 4, a freshman who decided not to continue with the recruitment process after rush, said members of the fraternities he interacted with encouraged freshmen students like himself to participate in recruitment. “Brothers in the frats in Welcome Week told everyone, ‘You should rush,’ that freshmen could rush,” Student 4 said. “They didn’t bring up the policy.” Student 5, a sophomore, took part in IFC-affiliated recruitment this year and his freshman year, before the deferred recruitment policy went into effect. He decided not to join an organization both years. Student 5 said the process this year seemed unaffected by the new University regulation. “Since it wasn’t strictly enforced at all that freshmen weren’t allowed to rush, it was basically just like a sanctioned rush with freshmen and sophomores,” Student 5 said. “I didn’t notice any differences between when I rushed freshman year and sophomore year.” According to Student 1, the nature of these recruitment events varied each time. “After all the open houses, they’ll text you like a day later to come to the house at 10 tomorrow,” Student 1 said. “And you go back and it completely depends. Sometimes it was a pretty chill event, where you were sober and just had a good time. There were some where the only point of that was to get drunk.” All students interviewed said that to their knowledge, none of the Panhellenic sororities recruited freshmen this semester, and The Daily has not received any confirmation of Panhellenic sororities engaging in unsanctioned rush. However, one freshman student said one of the fraternity rush events he attended was hosted with a Panhellenic sorority. When asked for a statement, LSA senior Taylor Fegan, Panhellenic Association president, wrote to The Daily that sororities did not recruit freshmen students this semester. She noted the association works with various campus and

BOND From Page 1A

Wednesday, November 6, 2019 — 3A

The results of the assessment showed that while the schools are overall in fair condition, without substantial investment, many will fall into poor ratings within a few years. The assessment estimated it would cost $823 million to keep current buildings in good condition, not including other capital costs such as buses, technology, equipment and school additions, which is estimated to cost an additional $618 million. Together, the bond and the Sinking Fund, an Ann Arbor millage levied to aid in repair and construction of school buildings, provide enough funding to cover these costs. As Michigan is one of only about a dozen states that does not provide state funding for school infrastructure, many districts across the state also face the costs of improving aging infrastructure. AAPS points out in the bond proposal website that surrounding districts such as Saline, Dexter and Whitmore Lake have all started voter-backed facility upgrades in recent years. According to the website, Ann Arbor residents with a home taxable value of $138,000 — the average in the school district — will see annual tax increases of $228. The Ann Arbor Education Association, the teacher’s union in Ann Arbor, remained neutral on the bond proposal. AAEA President Frederick Klein said the union is trying to send a message that teachers are feeling neglected in the district’s school budgeting process. He said teachers have been taking pay freezes and are not advancing up the yearto-year salary steps, while watching their take-home pay shrink because of rising outof-pocket costs for health care.

“It was more of a statement of position that the teachers took to say, ‘Hey, we want to also be a priority,’” Klein said. “You prioritize infrastructure and all that, which is essential. But you also need to prioritize one of the most important cogs in the wheel, which is the teachers.” Klein said the teachers were not consulted when AAPS was deciding how the bond would be spent until late in the process. “They did not come to the teachers until the middle of September to seek our input and support, which is really just superficial at that point, because the vote was a month and a half later,” Klein said. While the union did not openly support the bond, the group also did not speak out against it. “The union is not coming out and saying we’re anti-bond, we’re just remaining neutral,” Klein said. “Individual teachers, some will support it and some will not support it. It’s up to them to make those decisions when they reach the ballot box.” The Ann Arbor Education Association is expected to begin bargaining with the district about financial issues on Dec. 11. Public Policy senior Bernadette King Fitzsimons attended Eberwhite Elementary School, Slauson Middle School and Pioneer High School. She shared some of the concerns voiced by Klein, but King Fitzsimons said while the schools were outdated, she did not feel they were a detriment to her education. “I do think the district needs to invest in infrastructure updates,” King Fitzsimons said. “But I think the district’s lack of investment in teacher salary over the years is deeply troubling, and needs to be addressed.” Prior to the election, King

Fitzsimons said she was not sure how she was going to vote. She said she was initially in support of the bond, but grew concerned that teacher salaries would not be raised along with the investment in infrastructure. “In my time as a student in AAPS, the dedication of my educators impacted me far more than any state-of-the-art classroom could have,” King Fitzsimons said. Additionally, new with this election, voters were able to check the projected line wait times at polling places via the Ann Arbor City Clerk’s Office. The office is piloting an initiative to share the number of people in line and the estimated wait times reported by the election inspectors in real-time. Ann Arbor City Clerk Jacqueline Beaudry said in 2018, poll workers submitted line information to the City Clerk’s Office so the office could deploy more resources where needed. They decided to share that information with the public in Tuesday’s election so that voters could decide when to vote. “As a result of that work in 2018, we thought that this information made public might also be useful to voters,” Beaudry said. “So we will still get that information as poll workers are entering it, for us to react, but then the public could also use it to make decisions about when is a good time to go vote or just check in on things.” In the future, the office is planning on implementing the virtual line checker for the 2020 primary and presidential elections. “If everything works as expected, and we see that it’s a positive benefit for the public to have access to this when there might be more chance for them to make a decision about when is a good time to get out (when they) don’t have

community resources to ensure the safety and wellness of their members and all University students. “The Panhellenic Association facilitated a partially structured fall recruitment this year to transition our community,” Fegan wrote. “Through this process, we welcomed more than 75 new members that met all institutional eligibility requirements and have continued to follow these regulations in all other council and chapter operations. The Panhellenic Association, specifically with regards to recruitment, operates entirely independently of other councils.” When asked why he thinks sororities might decide not to conduct fall recruitment of freshmen, Student 1 explained he believes some maleidentifying students rely more heavily on the fraternity and sorority system. “Guys need Greek life, but I feel like for girls it’s more of an accessory,” Student 1 said. “Girls I feel like in general have stronger support systems, stronger friendships by default, and they can get into parties. Guys don’t have strong friends, guys don’t get into parties. It matters a lot less for girls.” Similarly to Student 1, Student 2 feels fraternities determine much of his social scene. “Now, as a non-fraternity affiliated guy, my weekends are pretty desperate,” Student 2 said. “It is an easy way to make connections” To Student 3, being a part of a fraternity has been more beneficial than detrimental to his college transition. He said it’s helped him build both a social and professional network. “Being on campus, just overall, I see so many familiar faces around and whenever I want to be in a social setting or be around the brothers, I know I can just go to the house,” Student 3 said. “But also the connections to alumni of the fraternity, and overall there is a professional side of it, you are able to benefit from that wider network. Also, academically, it’s nice to have older brothers who

are doing the same major as me, if I have questions.” Student 3 said he hasn’t personally felt overwhelmed by his fraternity. However, he said he agrees with the University’s decision to defer rush, as he believes it can be a large time commitment and a highpressure environment to join other fraternities. “I haven’t felt like I couldn’t balance it, but I know other fraternities that probably have more hazing… So I think leaving it up to the student’s discretion is probably not the best thing to do, if you just look at the entire student population as a whole,” Student 3 said. Though Student 3 mentioned hazing, The Daily has not confirmed that any hazing occurred during recruitment for any IFC-affiliated fraternity on campus this semester. Student 2 said he ultimately decided not to accept his bid because he thought pledging would make it more difficult to build friendships outside of the fraternity and keep up with academics as a freshman. Because of this, Student 2 said he understands the University’s regulations despite disagreeing with them. “I think (freshmen) should (join a fraternity) if they want to, but I do understand the merits of winter rush,” Student 2 said. “I think it’s definitely a good idea to give time to settle into University life. Because if you’ve been here three weeks and you’re already thrown into this rat race, it’s very tolling. Just a lot on your mind, and a lot of time spent, and it could be to no avail.” In contrast, Student 1 explained he has found his fraternity to be strong system of support in his college transition. “It is an easy way to make connections,” Student 1 said. “There are a lot of things when you first come in that end up being harder than you think they’re going to be, and I think making friends is one of those… Greek life is in many ways a mental health tool that many people don’t realize is a mental health tool.” Similar to Student 1, Student 5 said he believes freshmen

should be allowed to participate in fraternity and sorority life during their first semester on campus. “As a freshman in college, you are old enough to choose for yourself what you want to do,” Student 5 said. Student 6 is a freshman who attended several rush events before deciding not to continue with the process to join other organizations instead. Though Student 6 said he found the recruitment process to be timeconsuming, he thinks it should be up to the student to decide if they want to join a fraternity. “It’s not necessarily unreasonable for students to do, if you manage your course load well,” Student 6 said. “Obviously it’s a lot of time but I think it’s still very manageable rushing a fraternity at the same time. I know some people drop their fraternities, if they decide upon other things they wanted to pursue… So I mean that’s always a thing people can do.” “A culture of dirty rushing” Student 1 said he believes the University’s regulations and the resulting unsanctioned rush has a negative impact overall. “I think it’s probably a bad thing, just because everything is under the radar,” Student 1 said. “The University tried to clamp down on that, they went too far, and now they have overall less control because of it.” Student 3 also said he thinks there are going to be people who break the rules regardless. As a result, the University’s regulations ultimately result in “a culture of dirty rushing,” where rush is less regulated and pledges do not get the training they need, Student 3 explained. However, Student 2 said he thinks less regulation does not necessarily mean a harsher pledging process. “I guess they could if they wanted to do more weird shit, because it’s not regulated,” Student 2 said. “But there’s an incentive for frats not to destroy their pledges. The topic is so sensitive today anyway, if anything were to come out the entire system would be shut down. There’s not much faith in Greek life from the public’s perspective anymore.”

Opinion

4A — Wednesday, November 6, 2019

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FROM THE DAILY

We must support impeachment

early a month after Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced an official impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump, the House of Representatives voted Thursday to endorse a resolution outlining the parameters for the impeachment process. In light of these disturbing allegations, The Michigan Daily Editorial Board commends Speaker Pelosi and the Democratic leadership for moving forward with an impeachment inquiry.

While it is unclear how the impeachment proceedings will unfold, and how an impeachment might affect the outcome of the 2020 election, it is vitally important that Congress continues to hold President Trump accountable for his actions — especially those which endanger national security and violate his oath of office. For many, Pelosi’s Sept. 24 announcement of an official impeachment inquiry seemed long overdue. During his tenure, Trump has committed several acts that may qualif y as impeachable offenses. In his March report, Special Counsel Robert Mueller identified several instances of obstruction of justice during the burgeoning investigation into his ties to Russian foreign interference. The news that Trump pressured Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Former Vice President Joe Biden and his son represents the latest in a series of offenses that have endangered national security. For many who were unconvinced by the results of Mueller’s investigation, Trump’s badgering of a foreign leader to investigate a domestic political opponent is a more convincing argument for impeachment, especially when there seems to have been an implied quid pro quo for Ukraine to receive Congressionally-appropriated aid. In early September, a whistleblower echoed these allegations in a complaint which Michael Atkinson, the Intelligence Community Inspector General, claimed includes “serious or flagrant problem, abuse or violation of the law.” In a Sept. 17 letter, Atkinson expressed frustration that the Justice Department and the Director of National Intelligence withheld the complaint from Congress. The declassified complaint was made public on Sept. 26. Since then, six other

officials have testified that a trade-off existed between Zelensky and Trump. Since its release, few Republicans have commented on the whistleblower complaint. Even with claims that 30 Republican senators would be willing to impeach Trump in a “secret vote,” Republicans who openly speak out against Trump face severe political repercussions. With 23 Republican senators up for reelection in 2020, few have openly entertained the idea of impeachment, though cracks are starting to show in Senate Republican support for the president. With the 2020 election on the horizon, it would be a mistake to treat this impeachment inquir y as an issue central to the election cycle. While the effects of the impeachment process will certainly have farreaching ramif ications, members of Cong ress and the public should remember that the impeachment process is a constitutional obligation, not a ploy to leverage political power. Elected representatives are bound by their oaths of office to protect and defend the Constitution. The 232 members of Congress who voted in favor of the House Democrats’ resolution demonstrated a strong commitment to upholding both the law and democratic principles, though that commitment does not exist on both sides of the aisle. Following the House’s vote on Thursday, it is more important than ever that the Democratic leadership moves forward dutifully and strategically in laying out the case for impeachment. The quality of messaging is crucial as the House aims to sway public opinion. Democrats ought to make clear that this impeachment process is not about revenge for the 2016 election, nor is it a behind-closed-doors violation of due process against an unpopular

president. Instead, they need to emphasize Trump’s actions demonstrably violated his oath of office and endangered national security. This impeachment process is not politickingas-usual, but a necessary defense of the Constitution and our republic. While the process may hinder some sitting senators’ campaign schedules, the responsibility of our elected officials to uphold justice should take precedence despite the impeachment inquiry occurring in tandem with the 2020 election. While trust in the government varies between parties, this public faith is currently at a historic low. Democrats have the opportunity to help restore public faith in government officials. The House’s vote to move forward with impeachment proceedings began a new chapter in the Trump presidency. As more and more public officials — such as the Republican governor of Vermont — begin to openly favor moving forward with the impeachment process, it becomes increasingly apparent that this administration’s days may be numbered. The political consequences are surely uncertain. A mishandled impeachment battle could set Democrats up for trouble in the coming election year. However, the potential political turmoil should not distract Democrats and the rest of Congress from fulfilling their constitutional duty to protect national security. They need to follow Pelosi’s lead — she set a precedent on Sept. 24 of valuing her own obligation to the Constitution over political infighting and outside conf lict. As the House moves forward with the impeachment process in a more robust and public manner, The Michigan Daily Editorial Board encourages members of Congress, public officials and the American public to follow suit.

SUBMIT TO SURVIVORS SPEAK The Opinion section has created a space in The Michigan Daily for first-person accounts of sexual assault and its corresponding personal, academic and legal implications. Submission information can be found at https://tinyurl.com/survivespeak.

CONTRIBUTE TO THE CONVERSATION Readers are encouraged to submit letters to the editor and op-eds. Letters should be fewer than 300 words while op-eds should be 550 to 850 words. Send the writer’s full name and University affiliation to tothedaily@michigandaily.com.

Why carbon taxes promote climate action

f you have been following effective portfolio of climatepoliticians or economists forward policies. As far as over the past few years, climate policies go, a carbon tax is the lowest you’ve probably hanging fruit. heard about the Another concern idea of a carbon is that carbon tax thrown around pricing could be as an important a regressive tax. tool for fighting Structurally, the climate change policy would in the United lev y a per-unit States. Despite tax on fossil fuel discussion year TIMOTHY on the producer after year, nothing exmaple, ever happens with SPURLIN (for companies would it. Implementing a carbon tax is the first and have to pay per barrel of easiest step we can take oil they extract from the towards slowing climate g round). However, producers will pass along some of the change. Taxes aren’t fun. Indeed, cost of the tax to consumers no one likes paying them, by raising prices. In a but they are an effective and important economic tool for correcting market failures. A market failure occurs anytime the market naturally produces an inefficient outcome through either incomplete information or an imbalance in market power. In relation to climate change, the burning of fossil fuels and the subsequent greenhouse gasses that are generated is a negative externality in the market — perfectly responsive market, my choice to burn one more people would then consume ton of fuel impacts other less as a result of the price people, at a negative cost, change. The problem is that without taking that cost into fossil f uels today remain the price of the transaction. an inelastic good: People Taxes work to remedy this. can’t easily reduce their They raise the costs of the consumption overnight. How you view the private transaction in order to reduce the total number of leg itimacy of that arg ument largely depends on your transactions. But is a carbon tax worth reasoning behind who is it? Some critics say that buying what and how much carbon pricing would be of it. On the one hand, lower largely ineffective in actually income communities have stopping climate change. less free cash to switch It’s true that a carbon tax to more environmentally alone will not be able to stop friendly alternatives. They anything by itself — but it can can’t just trade in their gasdelay its effects. Additionally, g uzzler for a Tesla to avoid it shouldn’t be the only policy the higher price of gas. enacted, but rather the first Alternatively, richer people step towards a reasonable and burn more on the agg regate

This ... is a progressive solution to what others argue is a regressive tax

just by way of owning more things (multiple cars instead of one), or through more air travel. As it turns out, this intuition is more likely to be the case. In the U.S., wealthier people produce more emissions, even those who describe themselves as “g reen” or “environmentally conscious.” One of the more exciting perspectives about carbon taxes is the abilit y to draw bipartisan support. A popular national policy proposal currently in circulation is a carbon fee and dividend. This policy, with Republican and Democratic support in Cong ress, would address many of the related issues. What is unique about the fee and dividend proposal is that it is revenue-neutral. All the revenue generated by the tax is redistributed to all Americans. This is to help offset any rising prices as a result of the tax and is a progressive solution to what others argue is a regressive tax. Yet, as I stated earlier, we have been here before. The economic and environmental justifications for a carbon tax in any form are established and clearly defined. We simply lack the political will, it seems, to actually do anything about it. The current administration, at the national level, does not prioritize adopting smart climate policies at all — in fact, it’s almost the opposite. That needs to change. Especially if something bold like the Green New Deal never comes to be. In the absence of scoring a “Hail Mary” touchdown, we need to kick the easy field goal in passing a carbon tax to help slow climate change. Timothy Spurlin can be reached at timrspur@umich.edu.

YASMEEN DOHAN | COLUMN

Securing reproductive justice

ypocrisy per vades did not cover bir t h cont rol. the United States To t his day, I beg r udg ingly regarding women’s continue to ta ke ora l bir t h cont rol pills simply reproductive due to convenience rights, with many a nd its low out-ofpoliticians positing pocket cost, not their indifference because t hey a re toward t he optima l for my f undamental rights sit uation. as an effort against The fa ilures of unnecessar y our hea lt h ca re government system const r uct interference in the private YASMEEN a ha rsh rea lit y for ma ny women industr y. An DOHAN in sit uations unsettling number of fer vent Republica ns bot h simila r a nd dif ferent have oppose universa l hea lt h to mine. While I ca re coverage of bir t h priv ilege in t hat I ca n af ford cont rol — a puzzling t he relatively low out-ofposition considering our pocket cost for ora l bir t h count r y ’s self-procla imed cont rol pills, ma ny women remote communities stat us a s a leader in huma n in diff icult y rights advocacy. Though experience transportation A merica ns tend to have a n f inding inf lated ego rega rding our to access birth control or sta nding in reproductive money to pay for any t ype rights in compa rison to ot her count ries, t he rea lit y is t hat we a re not quite up to pa r. In fact, t he U. S. ha s t he worst materna l mor ta lit y rate in t he developed world. If A merica wa nts to improve reproductive justice, we must work to ensure a ll forms of bir t h cont rol a re covered by A merica n hea lt h insura nce prov iders. A mong ma ny of t he ha rdships I had imag ined I would face t ra nsitioning to of contraceptive altogether. college life a nd “adulting,” Not only are women in exceptionally access to bir t h cont rol wa s povert y never one I pa r ticula rly more likely to have an preg nancy, pondered. A f ter a quick, unintentional informa l v isit to my but chances of additional OB- GY N right before t he consequences, such as lack end of high school, I wa s of proper prenatal care, are prescribed a generic bra nd also higher. It’s only log ical of bir t h cont rol pills to be that our government take ta ken da ily. Once I a rrived preemptive measures against at college, I quickly beca me unwanted preg nancies if it awa re t hat my bir t h cont rol seeks to reduce the number pills caused a multit ude of abortions. Providing more of rat her unplea sa nt side birth control coverage is one ef fects. Immediately, I effective method of doing so. ca lled t he Universit y Hea lt h As long as the government Ser v ice to explore ot her continues to neglect its possible options of bir t h responsibilities in ensuring cont rol. I soon discovered, to contraceptive coverage for my dismay, t hat t he cheapest all, inequalit y will continue. insura nce my self-employed This exclusion of the lowpa rents could f ind wa s under income individuals violates a relig ious exemption a nd the promises of not only the

The U.S. has the worst maternal mortality rate in the developed world

f ulf illment of reproductive rights, but reproductive justice as well. Those in povert y will continue to suffer because of the government’s inabilit y to provide the basic right of choosing whether or not to have children — a foundational tenant of reproductive justice. There does exist an economic incentive for the federal government to provide universal contraceptive coverage beyond simply protecting reproductive rights. The more access women have to contraception, the less unintended preg nancies will occur, meaning more women will be able to keep and work jobs, pursue an education and contribute to the g rowing economy. Giving women control of when they reproduce translates to a g reater, stronger, less variable workforce. America consistently acts in favor of business and economic interests, but perhaps some have not considered the various benef its to business the advancement of reproductive justice provides. The benef its of providing universal contraceptive coverage under all health insurance providers g reatly out weigh any possible consequences. Universal coverage would make birth control even more accessible to the disadvantaged, helping tear down the wall bet ween the poor and the wealthy. Additionally, extended coverage of birth control would benef it economic and business interests by creating a larger, more cohesive workforce. If the U.S. wishes to be taken more seriously internationally in regard to human rights advocacy, and improve our qualit y of reproductive justice, drastic measures must be taken in the near f uture. Yasmeen Dohan can be reached at yasmeend@umich.edu.

Arts

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

Wednesday, November 6, 2019 — 5A

BOOK REVIEW

FILM REVIEW

‘Last Ones Left Alive’ pairs zombies and feminism well EMILIA FERRANTE For The Daily

FOCUS FEATURES

‘Harriet’ was good, but bad SABRIYA IMAMI Daily Arts Writer

Seeing as it’s 2019, it’s really about time that a movie about Harriet Tubman was made. Most people only know Harriet Tubman for her role as a conductor of the Underground Railroad, but as “Harriet,” directed by Kasi Lemmons (“Black Nativity”), shows, she had a much greater story than that. Tubman did more than just lead slaves to free land; she led soldiers in the Civil War, she was an aggressive and powerful woman who didn’t let men tell her what she could and couldn’t do and above all, she had the utmost care and devotion for her family. Her story deserved to be played in theaters around the world. However, “Harriet” may not have been the best way to showcase it. There seems to be a disconnect in the storytelling of the script and the action on screen. Any time Harriet is being chased by slave-catchers, we as an audience are supposed to feel suspense. We are supposed to hold our breath as we wait for her to reach safety. But when her running seems like a slow jog and the chase scenes are dragged out to the point of being unrealistic, the stakes feel lowered. It doesn’t feel like she is really being chased. It doesn’t feel like she is running for her life. These action scenes feel overly scripted and too careful to be believable, which is a major disappointment. The subpar action scenes and forced dialogue are, unfortunately, not the worst parts of the movie. The most devastating thing about the film is that there are parts of Harriet Tubman’s life that are fictionalized, over-exaggerated and entirely falsified for dramatic purpose. A central plot point of the film was Gideon Brodess’s (Joe Alwyn, “The Favourite”) pursuit of Harriet after her escape. Alwyn did a great job of portraying an obviously evil character with malicious intent, which makes the falsified part of his character so much worse. In the film, he is the son of her owner Edward Brodess, but in Harriet Tubman’s real life, Gideon Brodess did not exist. The character was added to the story for dramatic effect, which is disappointing, because Tubman’s inspiring life story should be enough in itself to be the plot of a film. Adding dramatizations seems to belittle what she actually did. Similarly, the film portrays Harriet as having “spells” (following a childhood head injury) where she believes she can contact God and see the future. While in real life, Harriet Tubman did believe that she had a connection to God via these spells, the movie over-exaggerated her condition and made it seem like the only reason she had any success in freeing herself and other

slaves was because of a semi-supernatural ability. Just as with the addition of Gideon Brodess, this undermines what she actually accomplished. In real life, she couldn’t actually see the future; she escaped and helped others escape because of her resourcefulness, stealth and courage. In the movie, it seemed as though she only relied on a “super” ability to see into the future and contact God to be a successful Underground Railroad conductor. The heartfelt acting was probably the film’s only redeeming quality. Cynthia Erivo (“Bad Times at El Royale”) did an excellent job in bringing an amazing woman to life on screen. Harriet’s love for her family and her unshakable faith in God were portrayed so believably on screen that as I watched Erivo act, it seemed like I was right there with Harriet Tubman, watching her accomplish such amazing achievements in life. “Harriet” enlightened me, and I’m sure many other viewers, about aspects of Harriet Tubman’s life that until now had gone mostly forgotten, but frankly, the fictionalized aspects of her story are unforgivable. Adding extra drama through a fake character and adding an almost supernatural quality to a real life human being makes Harriet Tubman’s story seem unrealistic. These additions to the story are disappointing, unnecessary and make for a rather disheartening viewing experience.

Harriet Ann Arbor 20+ IMAX Focus Features

In her debut novel, “Last Ones Left Alive,” Sarah Davis-Goff boldly takes on a genre that can go wrong in so many ways: the zombiethriller novel. The main monster has to be scary while also being believable, there have to be defined rules to the world without overexplanation, the characters have to undergo some sort of growth without being swallowed by the drama of the zombie (no pun intended). Davis-Goff manages to sidestep these pitfalls and creates a feminist, environmentallyconcious, survivalist coming-of-age story. It follows 15-year-old Orpen as she embarks on a journey to leave her island, the only place she has ever known, after the death of her mother (“Mam”) and her mother’s partner, Maeve. She lives in a post-apocalyptic Ireland, decimated by a mysterious event called “the Emergency” that turns those who are bit into “skrakes,” the zombie-like principal monsters of the book. Maeve and Mam are the only people Orpen has ever met before leaving the island, and Maeve has just one rule regarding others: “Beware people.” Maeve and Mam train Orpen rigorously in the hope that she will one day be able to leave the island with them, but a skrake bites her mother and two years later, another bites Maeve. This propels Orpen to finally venture off the island in search of a rumored all-female fighting force called the “banshees” and their home, Phoenix City. Without ever describing the cataclysmic event that led to the destruction of society as we know it, the novel still does an excellent job building a believable post-apocalyptic world in which the vestiges of civilized society, like skyscrapers and signposts, have all half-disintegrated and left room for nature to come back in full force. Davis-Goff spends precisely enough time describing Orpen’s lush surroundings; her writing is beautiful and descriptive without feeling unnecessary or drawn-out. The environment always seems to subtly ref lect Orpen’s inner state — after a brush with death, she describes the landscape by saying, “the green of the grass is particularly violent-looking against the darkening clouds.” There is harmony and dissonance in the way people interact with their environment in this novel, a distinction made between taking from the land and living with it. Orpen repeatedly expresses her awe and confusion at the technological marvels of the world she never knew, wondering, for example, why gas was pumped to the island to power the heating when it would be much easier to just build a fire outside. Orpen has a certain environmental innocence, and DavisGoff uses this to make a subtle point about our sometimes over-complicated technological problem-solving. The only living connections to this past are Orpen’s mother and Maeve, and they are also Orpen’s only example of romantic love. The deftness of Davis-Goff’s portrayal of a samesex couple comes from her ability to not overexplain. She never feels the need to hit the reader over the head with the fact that the main romantic relationship portrayed in the novel is a lesbian one. Instead, she allows this fact to be unquestioned and almost uninteresting — in a world infested with zombies, there’s no time to ponder the existence of a same-sex

couple. Orpen has never known anything else, she never questions it, and because it does not concern Orpen, it does not concern us as readers. Davis-Goff makes it clear that there is real love between Mam and Maeve, and that this love existed before Orpen was even alive. The other and decidedly less well-developed romantic coupling in the book is between Orpen and Cillian, a man she meets on the road to Phoenix City. Before she meets Cillian, she has never met a man before, and in fact Mam and Maeve posit men as a threat equal to the skrake in the real world. Orpen is consistently told that the world before “the Emergency” was characterized by “men making the decisions and women suffering from them” — her main takeaway from Mam and Maeve’s teachings is that “men are dangerous.” Consequently, she is terrified and aggressive upon her initial meeting with Cillian. But over the remainder of the book, she ends up developing feelings for him. This romance, in contrast to Mam and Maeve’s gentle and sure companionship, feels gratuitous. Orpen spends her whole life conditioned to believe that men are the source of all evil, and when she finally meets a man, the only way that she can overcome this ingrained assumption is to fall in love. For its first half, the novel seems to finally build a dystopian plot with a young female protagonist who manages not to have a romantic side-plot. With this hope in mind, Orpen’s romance with Cillian is a disappointment. With so few characters, Cillian is the only male character in the book, and the lesson Orpen learns from him is essentially that, “men aren’t that awful after all.” This message is not problematic in itself, but the fact that Orpen can only seem to reach it by falling in love is. Their romance cheapens the stronger bonds presented in the novel, and undercuts Davis-Goff’s point that within the patriarchy there are still decent men. Despite the pothole of Orpen and Cillian’s relationship, this novel’s road to being a wellcrafted feminist novel is relatively clear. Davis-Goff has a basic feminist principle anchoring the book: Two strong women raise Orpen, another strong woman, who survives using her own skills and wits. Amid the many themes with which this novel grapples, at its core it is a coming-of-age novel about a young girl who must venture out into an unforgiving world alone. Strip away the zombies and the crumbling civilization and Orpen is simply a girl teetering at the point between child and adult being thrust into maturity in a world she does not yet understand.

Last Ones Left Alive Sarah Davis-Goff Tinder Press Jan. 24, 2019

MUSIC NOTEBOOK

A postcard to you: Listen to Lekman and thank me later JONAH MENDELSON Daily Arts Writer

Stop what you are doing right now and listen to “A Postcard to Nina” by Jens Lekman. Jens Lekman is a Swedish indie musician from Gothenburg. He sings mostly of love and daily life in Nordic towns. His best work is the 2007 album Night Falls Over Kortedala, a rich fusion of baroque, orchestral pop and sample-based, blue-eyed soul, full of lush swells and silvery horns. I have written about music for three years and have been an insatiable consumer of music for much longer. In all those years, no album has made me feel as purely happy as when I listen to Night Falls Over Kortedala. It is difficult to pin down what makes Jens Lekman’s voice so evocative. His tone is pellucid and sweet. He has a showbizzy style similar to singers such as Billy Joel or Michael Bublé, but his ineffable sincerity sets him apart. Where others come across as smarmy and inauthentic, Lekman feels earnest. He is effective at convincing the listener that his stylized vocal timbre is not a mere affectation, but an expression of his rich internal experience. Musically, his ability to combine disco rhythms with chamber pop or crashing drums with candied harps, creating a distinctive yet familiar sound without coming off as either tongue-in-cheek or saccharine, is nothing short of miraculous. I have a love for this world / A kind of love that will break my heart Most twee music is obnoxious in that it ignores the darkness and pain that we all experience. It feels almost insulting, as though the performer is trying to trick you and/or themselves. In contrast, Lekman lives in a world where sadness and pain are real and powerful. However, the world of Jens Lekman is beautiful anyway. It is precisely not for his lack of pain but for the strength of his response to it that the musician is such an inspiring narrator. “The Opposite of Hallelujah” is a sweet and wholesome song not because it is optimistic — in fact, the lyrics concern the inescapable distance between our inner lives, and are mostly quite depressing — but for its relentless authenticity and heart in the face of suffering. Most artists who attempt to make similar music also tend to be pathetic to the point of revulsion — not Lekman. While emotional and kind,

he never expects or desires pity. He also has what might strike us a characteristically European sense of humor, goofy and innocent, that prevents his lyrics from slipping into whininess. I was slicing up an avocado The beauty Jens conveys tends to revolve around everyday occasions — biking with his sister to the shore, an awkward interaction with a friend’s father — and their unexpected intersections with meaning. When he finds such gravity in mundanity, it makes me hopeful that I can, like him, discover a deeper significance to the seemingly trivial. I think I’m gonna drop my cool now / The best way to touch your heart is to make an ass of myself This line coming from another artist would be awkward. Indeed, there are times when Jens is too cheesy, such as in the above quote. These lapses in Jens’s delicate balance between sincerity and oversentimentality, while not all that enjoyable, at least serve to make his authenticity clear. Jens is not afraid to overextend and make a fool of himself in the course of baring his soul. I think his sense of amiable guilelessness combined with a healthy dose of self-deprecation) helps to make even his embarrassing moments endearing. She says that we were just make-believe / But I thought she said ‘maple leaves’ This line is from the best song Jens has made that is not on Night Falls Over Kortedala: “Maple Leaves.” It doesn’t sound that much like Night Falls Over

Kortedala — it’s more of an Avalanches-inspired sample collage than baroque pop. The narrative plot of the song revolves around a simple misunderstanding during a complex conversation with a lover. In some ways, it is the purest encapsulation of his voice: Heartfelt and lovelorn, he sees beauty (“maple leaves”) where there exists dissatisfaction (“make-believe”) in the eyes of his lover. The delicate balance he strikes between melancholy worldweariness and hopeless romanticism creates a world where every detail is imbued with color and meaning. Jens makes you want to see life through his eyes.

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS / SECRETLY CANADIAN

Arts

6A — Wednesday, November 6, 2019

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

DIY COLUMN

TV REVIEW

Stars: They’re just like us! And they’re at our school RYAN COX

Daily DIY Columnist

APPLE TV+

‘See’ doesn’t quite terrify MAXWELL SCHWARZ Daily Arts Writer

There’s a moment in “See” that is meant to be terrifying. Being chased by a ravenous and violent army, the Alkenny villagers are running for their lives. Paris (Alfre Woodard, “The Lion King”), the village midwife, comes upon a bridge that crosses a dangerous ravine. She’s not even sure it’s there. She can’t see it — she’s blind, as is everyone else in Apple’s post-apocalyptic series. After a virus wiped out much of humanity, the remaining 2,000,000 humans emerged from the carnage blind. After centuries, they’ve adapted to blindness, so much so that the idea of vision is heresy. After two twins are born with sight, the Witch Hunters — a savage royal raiding party that hunts down heretics, such as those who practice witchcraft or speak of vision — come for them. The leader of the Alkenny village, Baba Voss (Jason Momoa, “Game of Thrones”) attempts to lead his people to a new promised land. The aforementioned scene is not terrifying at all, which is the main problem with “See.” When the characters comes upon a bridge and wonder what it is, if it’s there or if it’s safe, the suspense is ruined because we can obviously see the bridge. The show has an overly-capable cast. Jason Momoa does a great job at playing another grisly, grunting Jason Momoa character. Other characters excel as believably blind villagers in a sightless, post-apocalyptic forest, if that makes any sense. It’s clear from the way actors deliver their lines where the tension lies, even if the mythology of the show isn’t always clear. The mythology is, perhaps, the next biggest problem. That, and the show’s confounded dedication to its own aesthetic. Visually, “See” is stunning. The tall, evergreen forests of British Columbia make a beautiful backdrop for the show’s collection of atavistic characters. Even the fur-clad villagers are beautiful (if only they could see themselves). Yet, the show goes to great lengths to assert its aesthetic, which is a mash up between “Vikings” and “10,000 BC.” This loyalty to its look comes at the expense of storytelling technique. The mythology muddles the show. In the first episode, at least, the idea of vision being heresy is not sold very well, aside

from a title card at the beginning of the show. It doesn’t even make sense why the Witch Hunters are after the villagers until much later, which makes the first half unusually confusing. “See” unfortunately crumbles because of its lack of vision. There’s nothing about the show that is extraordinary or groundbreaking. It’s very normal. This makes it difficult to relate to a cast that is completely blind. There are obviously sensory talents in certain characters, such as Ilun (Sharon Taylor, “Smallville”) who can count distance in heartbeats. This makes me wonder if “See” couldn’t include these sensory enhancements in the show. By making sound louder, describing smell, messing with the way we understand the show visually, the story could become enhanced. Viewers could be more deeply drawn into a show that is more experimental with how it tells its story. The true blindness of “See” is the fact that Apple failed to realize that there’s more to TV than a few good actors and a somewhat fresh story. There are hundreds of shows for viewers to choose from. As a visual form, television is not just about the story, but the way that the story is told.

See Series Premiere Apple TV+ Streaming Now

I really didn’t become very involved in my local music scene until I came to Ann Arbor. I’m not sure if my hometown just didn’t have much going on, or if I just wasn’t looking hard enough, but when I stumbled into my first basement show, I was amazed at how different of an experience it was for me. Even crazier, I saw one of the guitarists from that show on a Bursley-Baits bus the next day. For a second, I was sort of taken aback — why were they on the same bus as me? I didn’t see this person as a human on the same plane of existence as me. I seemed to forget that they were also students, probably stressed out by classes, running on not enough sleep and apparently taking BursleyBaits everyday, just like everyone else. I saw their existence as beginning and ending on stage. I think this is one of the things that’s really special about having a local music scene and being involved in it. At bigger concerts — ones not held in basements — there’s a huge disconnect between the musicians and the audience. You’ll see them come on stage, play their set and then walk off. After that, unless you stand out behind the venue circling their tour bus like a vulture, you probably won’t see them again until the next time you go to one of their shows. With DIY and local music in general, besides the fact that there’s typically no green room in a basement for artists to hide in, you’ll see these musicians everywhere you go. The artists on stage are the same people you’ll see in your classes, at parties and even on the bus. For me, this has only made the music more special. Seeing people that are just like you, or that you may even have a relationship with, get on stage and pour themselves into a performance is an incredible experience that has absolutely changed the way I think about music. My freshman year, a band from Ann Arbor called Bonzo put out an album titled Stranger during my first fall break. I had seen the group perform once, and knew some of the members through random interactions with mutual friends at parties and shows. So, after seeing the album shared around Facebook, and even stumbling into their album release show, I decided to follow the Bandcamp link that would help change the way I view music making. It wasn’t simply the fact that it was a good album that was right up my alley. It was the fact that it was all that and it was made by people that I knew. People that I had

‘Youth’ is sweetly relevant Daily Arts Writer

Classifieds

Call: #734-418-4115 Email: dailydisplay@gmail.com

Release Date: Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

WANTED

Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

DOWN 1 Semiaquatic salamanders 2 Skylit courts 3 Lacy place mat 4 With 58-Down, “Life of Pi” director

5 Ballpark treat 6 State that celebrates Pioneer Day 7 Pâté base 8 Govt. agents 9 Fancy scarves 10 Hardest to come by 11 Whiz 12 Notable Downing Street address 13 Important span 18 Seen enough 22 Think tank products 24 Tehran’s land 26 Dudes with fab abs 27 Slipped up 28 Fast Atl. crossers, once 30 Horn-honking Marx 31 Country singer Travis 32 Chow line? 33 Piglike forest dweller 34 Swiftness 37 Successor to Claudius

38 __-ski 39 Second to none 41 Hurry off and hide 42 Hunt down the source of 44 Gridiron complement 45 High society types 48 Deadly African virus 49 Single-master

50 Small fry 52 What Noah counted by 53 Constellation named for a mythological ship 54 List 56 Place for a retreat 57 Usher’s offering 58 See 4-Down 60 Folklore crone

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

Cisco Systems, Inc. is accepting resumes for the following position in Ann Arbor, MI: Manager, Software Development (Ref. #ANN461D): Lead a team in the design and development of company’s hardware or software products. Please mail resumes with reference number to Cisco Systems, Inc., Attn: G51G, 170 W. Tasman Drive, Mail Stop: SJC 5/1/4, San Jose, CA 95134. No phone calls please. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. without sponsorship. EOE

1980s rock music blared through unseen speakers upon entering the apartment of Dennis Ziegler, as he slammed his door and stumbled into his magazine and solo cup strewn bed. Of course, it wasn’t an actual apartment, but the black-box-esque Newman Studio encouraged the audience to participate in the action of the play, feeling like we were sitting on the couch watching Dennis dance around his apartment to scratchy records, maybe even sharing his blunt. Basement Arts’s production of “This Is Our Youth,” written by Kenneth Lonergan and directed by School of Music, Theatre & Dance junior Skylar Siben, detailed the lives of three teenagers in the ’80s exploring love, drugs, family relationships and the terrifying inescapable reality of adulthood in the best possible way. The three-person play portrayed the complicated relationships among teenagers engaging in new experiences and exploring the world outside of high school and their parents’ control. SMTD senior Ted Gibson’s character was the life of the party. His enigmatic performance brought humor and vivacity to an otherwise dark show. SMTD sophomore Claire Vogel and SMTD senior

11/06/19

The huge shoegazy soundscapes felt even larger and even more impenetrable than they already were because I knew the people making them

COMMUNITY CULTURE REVIEW

DANA PIERANGELI

ACROSS 1 Zippo 5 State of irritation 9 Produce carrier 14 Historic British school 15 Plains native 16 Indy participant 17 Financial support at Kitty Hawk? 19 Skybox setting 20 Up to, casually 21 Sticky 23 Tie the knot 25 Runs like mad 29 Remove italics from text? 33 “All __ Jazz” 35 Zones 36 “The A-Team” actor 37 Bread served with tandoori chicken 38 Met highlights 39 Spelling contests 40 Some iTunes downloads, briefly 41 Cal. entries 42 Have an inclination 43 Siblings sharing a ceremony? 46 “... because you don’t want to cross me” 47 Up-to-the-minute 51 In seventh heaven 55 Women’s rights activist Nellie 56 Battleship barrage 59 Contact a fictional pirate? 61 Fuss over feathers 62 Stare at creepily 63 Balm ingredient 64 Change, as a will 65 They’re often loaded 66 Continuity problems

talked to and had experiences with prior to listening to their music. The huge shoegazy soundscapes felt even larger and even more impenetrable than they already were because I knew the people making them. It was cathartic for me, and being made by people that were in the same environment I was in, who were having similar, albeit nowhere near identical, experiences. With bigger name artists, there’s almost a whole mytholog y behind the music. That person could be at a completely different point in their life than I am, or could be a completely different person than I imagine them to be, making it difficult for me to relate or insert myself into their music. But with Stranger, this wasn’t the case. Since then, I’ve encountered this same feeling on many separate occasions (and it’s pretty difficult not to when you live with five other incredibly creative and talented individuals). And maybe this stems a little bit from me being a bit of an emotional person, but I honestly think knowing the individuals behind the music is a quality about local music that truly makes it special. It not only humanizes it, but it also furthers the feeling of intimacy that DIY is known for.

11/06/19

xoxo

Though the specific experiences each character goes through are not necessarily universal, their thoughts, feelings and reactions to their situations are

Bryan Chan’s characters made an adorably innocent couple, until their ultimate demise. All three of them were entangled in each other’s stories in different capacities. With the audience surrounding the set on all sides, the intimate stage setup made the audience an active part of the show. While this aspect of the play definitely made this “sliceof-life” show feel authentic and genuine, the only downside was that it unfortunately blocked out parts of the performance to certain sections of the audience. With such an intimate, actor-driven show, seeing their reactions to each other was essential in understanding the plot and connecting with the performance. Despite this, the staging was incredibly smart, with every detail thought through. The temperature gage doubled as the apartment intercom, the backstage door was used as the apartment entrance, the lighting beautifully signified drug usage by trading simple spotlights for an array of colors. Despite having very little scenery, the show felt utterly real. Not one eye was batted at a stool used as a fridge or a curtain signifying the bathroom because the actors worked hard to make their actions revolving around those objects lifelike. This black-box environment was the perfect setting for such a personal show. The show itself is a fascinating one, delving into important topics that capture the experience of youth. Though the specific experiences each character goes through are not necessarily universal, their thoughts, feelings and reactions to their situations are. The connections each of the three characters form with one another are compelling and relatable, written in some of the most natural and realistic language I’ve ever witnessed. Unfortunately, some of the specific language was a little too realistic to the ’80s culture. Written in 1999 and taking place in 1982, certain parts definitely didn’t age well — namely the use of racist slurs and offensive language. However, the majority of the sentiments still ring true today. This show beautifully portrays the trials and triumphs of being young. Though some of the characters’ lifestyle choices are unique, the attitudes and musings are relatable to everyone — whether they are remembering their youth or still living it.

Sports

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

Wednesday, November 6, 2019 — 7A

Nico Collins and the test of reaching a ceiling What Slaker’s injury absence meant for ‘M’ THEO MACKIE Daily Sports Editor

Three years after Nico Collins graduated Clay-Chalkville High School in the suburbs of Birmingham, Ala., Jerry Hood’s pride still bubbles up every time he watches Michigan play. For four years, Collins terrorized defenses with the athleticism and imposing frame that made him one of the most talented players Hood has coached. Watching from the stands all those years, Hood’s kids idolized Collins and watched in awe as he accounted for 2,773 yards and 40 touchdowns in his career with Clay-Chalkville. So now, when they watch Michigan together, their pride is a family affair. “My kids still look at the TV, ‘Where’s Nico?’ Hood said. “… It’s really fun to watch.” Thousands of miles away in Ann Arbor, Michigan fans find themselves asking the same question every week. For them, it’s a matter of frustration, sparked by the contrast of Collins’ generational talent paired against his inconsistent usage. It’s a frustration that rears its head when Collins inevitably breaks downfield, positions himself perfectly and pinpoints a deep ball against an overmatched defensive back, before going untargeted for drives at a time as the Wolverines’ offense sputters. “He adds a dynamic element to our offense to where you have to pay attention to him every snap,” senior quarterback Shea Patterson said after last week’s win over Maryland. “And most of the time when he’s one-on-one, he’s going to go up and get it.” That afternoon summed up Collins’ season, as he brought down a key 51-yard reception late in the second quarter — and then finished with no catches the rest of the way. Against Maryland, Collins knew when his opportunity was coming. All week, Michigan had gameplanned to exploit the Terrapins’ Cover-6 defense, with

MILES MACKLIN/Daily

Junior receiver Nico Collins made just one catch against Maryland, but it went for 51 yards on a deep ball.

Collins having half the field to work against freshman safety Treron Williams. “That was just the coverage we’ve been game-planning for all week, and we just hit it over the top,” Patterson said. The play, of course, worked, going for 51 yards off play-action and setting up a rushing touchdown two plays later. It also epitomized how Michigan likes to use Collins as a deep threat — sparingly and against looks that the Wolverines know he can exploit. Of Collins’ three 40-plus yard receptions this year, two came in the first five minutes of games, when a team’s offensive plays are often scripted. All three times, the deep shots were isolated plays in games where he was mostly used underneath, providing a departure from his high school days when Collins’ size meant he could be targeted at will. “We felt like, if they were not double-covering him, that we were available to take a shot at any time,” Hood said. “… He’s just a mismatch, man.” Developing beyond his trademark size has been Collins’ primary focus throughout his three years at Michigan. He arrived in 2017 as an enticing but raw prospect, with the athleticism that made him the rare four-star wide

receiver recruit who hadn’t posted a single 1,000-yard season in high school. In a largely anonymous freshman season, he finished with just three catches for 27 yards, but set the path for a breakout sophomore year by developing into an all-around receiver. Now working with offensive coordinator Josh Gattis — a renowned wide receivers coach at previous stops — Collins has continued that process with a focus on his route-running, foot placement and pad level. “I learn a lot from coach Gattis,” Collins said. “He really harps on details, technique, pad level. So he really knows what he’s talking about, we just gotta trust it.” The results, though, have remained well short of Collins’ high ceiling, with his 439 yards and three touchdowns through nine games putting him on a nearidentical pace to last season. And with flashes that he could be so much more, that’s an unsatisfying reality. “What surprises me a little bit is that they sometimes don’t run curls or different short routes for him that would set that kind of (deep shot) up,” Hood said. “(Michigan has) so many great receivers that it’s hard for a team to double-cover him.” Hood is careful to note that he’s

not criticizing the Wolverines’ coaching staff. Even watching from afar, the strides in Collins’ game are obvious — “Goodness gracious, those guys do an awesome job coaching,” he said. But his point meshes with the general consensus: use Collins more and the results will follow. Ask Collins himself and his agreement is implicit. “A lot of people say I’m a deep threat, (and) it’s kinda true, but I can run a lot of routes,” Collins said. “Slants, curls, whatever. Any route on the route tree, I can do it all.” Still, Collins’ ability as a deep threat remains his calling card. It’s what makes him a likely Day Two NFL Draft pick in the future and the focus of opposing defenses in the present. And as he stood on an empty field at Maryland Stadium on Saturday, it’s what brought a smile to his often-stoic face. “I feel my go-to is the deep ball,” Collins said. “I love deep balls, man. I like getting my team, the offense, an opportunity to score the ball.” The challenge for Michigan is optimizing that ability. And as Collins enters what could be the last three games of his college career without a 100-yard game and 144th in the country in receiving yards, that’s the issue the Wolverines have to solve.

Wolverines studying NHL power plays to improve

ALEXANDRIA POMPEI/Daily

The Michigan hockey team has looked to the National Hockey League for help with its struggling power play.

BAILEY JOHNSON Daily Sports Writer

When Bill Muckalt cues up film for his power-play units to watch, he doesn’t always turn to the film bank Michigan maintains of its own games and practices. Instead, the associate head coach pulls together clips from the highest level of the sport. As the Wolverines work with a new power-play system under Muckalt’s guidance — moving from a unit with three forwards and two defensemen to four forwards and one defenseman — Michigan’s time in the film room has been spent watching how NHL teams run their power plays. “I think it’s no secret, people and pucks to the net, take the goalie’s eyes away,” Muckalt said. “That’s a good recipe to generate, but I think specifically, when we watch NHL teams and watch what they’re doing is — part of our job is to develop players to the

National Hockey League and watching the best players, the game is still the same but it’s at a different speed and a different execution. … You watch smart offensive players and it’s kind of a copycat league and you take ideas.” Michigan has spent the most time watching the Vancouver Canucks, who run a similar system, but Muckalt was quick to clarify that he thinks there’s something to be learned from every team in the league. While most teams run variations of a 1-3-1 formation, each team has its own spin on it and creates different looks. And as the Wolverines try to figure out how to make the new system work for them, watching teams across the NHL is helping them see what their options are. “We’re just trying to simplify on the power play, get pucks on net and move it quick,” said sophomore defenseman Nick Blankenburg on Oct. 25. “Film has been a big thing for us that we’ve been doing is watching how other teams are scoring

Part of our job is to develop players to the (NHL).

goals on power plays. I think we find areas to score through film and whatnot and just seeing what’s open.” The transition hasn’t gone perfectly. Michigan has six power-play goals on 34 opportunities though its first eight games — good for a 17.6 percent conversion rate with a man advantage, which ranks No. 28 of 60 teams in the country. Michigan coach Mel Pearson has said he cares more about when the powerplay goals come than the percentage at which the units convert, but eight games in, neither metric is reflecting the performance Pearson would like to see. In Saturday’s game at Ohio State, the Wolverines had two power plays in the third period while trailing by a goal. Michigan notched a combined three shots across both opportunities, and only one of those shots came directly in front of the net. “We’ve gotta find something

that works, because these games are coming down to one goal and special teams are so important,” Pearson said. “We’ve lost the special teams battle in the last three games. We’ve lost every game.” Both units have seen their personnel change depending on health and the different line combinations Pearson puts together. Freshman defenseman Cam York has solidified himself on the top unit, as has fifth-year forward Jacob Hayhurst. But everything else is in flux — including the system itself. At the beginning of the season, both groups featured a lone defenseman and four forwards. Now, sophomore defensemen Jack Summers and Nick Blankenburg are usually sent with the second unit alongside three forwards. On Friday, it was that second unit that produced the weekend’s lone power-play goal for the Wolverines. “I think most teams are kinda transitioning toward (having two looks) because then you have to study two different types of film,” said senior forward Nick Pastujov. “Like for Ohio State, for instance, the way we studied them was the first and second unit, they run two different things, so your (penalty kill) always has to kinda kill differently against the two and sometimes you can get out of sorts if you get confused. “It just gives that extra little edge where if we give them two different looks, they might not catch on as fast and we might be able to catch them.” While Michigan works to find the successful formula for both power-play units, the systems and the personnel will be fluid. But as the Wolverines study the NHL to figure things out, they may find just the right thing to copy.

We’ve gotta find something that works (on the power play).

ALLISON ENGKVIST/Daily

Senior forward Jake Slaker plans to return from injury this weekend.

ROHAN KUMAR Daily Sports Writer

There was a heightened sense of urgency at Yost Ice Arena late Tuesday afternoon. Throughout practice, voices were louder, whistles more purposeful, huddles more frequent, and then, to top it off, the Michigan hockey team closed out with intense goalline-to-goal-line conditioning. The Wolverines are coming off three road losses. First, a 4-1 loss to then-No. 18 Western Michigan in a hostile environment, where the team fell behind moments after the puck drop. And last weekend Michigan got swept by No. 9 Ohio State, losing both affairs by one goal and looking somewhat out of sorts. “There’s not much room for mistakes right now, especially coming off three losses,” said senior forward Will Lockwood. “Attention to detail is huge. I think our coaches are just holding us accountable to that.” Finding the root cause of the losses is challenging, as each game was unique. One commonality, though, is that senior forward Jake Slaker was absent due to an undisclosed injury. Last season, he tallied 25 points. He looks suited to return this weekend for the home series against Minnesota, but over the last two weekends, his absence made a mark. Offensive struggles were quite apparent in the recent series. The Wolverines couldn’t keep control of the puck in the attacking zone and thus had a hard time generating consistent scoring chances. Lockwood notes that with the chances they did get, capitalizing was a hurdle. Slaker sees himself as a vocal, high-energy player for whom speed is a key asset. While it’s unlikely he would’ve solved all of Michigan’s problems, that skill set could have provided the offense a key burst. “Just from knowing him well he’s a natural goalscorer,” Lockwood said. “Even in practice recently, he’s been lighting up our goalies pretty

much all practice, and I think when he comes back he’s gonna be hungry. He hasn’t scored yet, but he’s someone who can put the puck in the net at ease. So I think those one-goal games could have been different if he were in the lineup.” Watching from the sidelines is something new for Slaker. He was a contributor ever since joining the program, and in his first three years missed just one game. Missing extended time has taken some getting used to. “It’s definitely tough, especially after the last few games,” Slaker said. “We haven’t won, so it’s tough not to be able to be out there and try to help the team come out with a win or something. But there’s a lot of learning you can do from watching the games.” Slaker hasn’t watched many hockey games, only tape. Sitting out lets him weigh what works well for other players with what doesn’t, and he understands this could improve his own game. Off the ice, Slaker has made sure to stay involved with the team. He was quick to offer his thoughts on the Wolverines’ play. “I know Slaker was critiquing,” Lockwood said. “He’d come in between periods and say this and that, and after games he’d have different opinions on things because you kind of get a different perspective when you’re up in the stands, and you can see the game a little bit better. So he had a lot of insight to that and it was a good help to the team.” As an alternate captain, Slaker continues to be outspoken while not playing. He’s central to team meetings and always tries to give his teammates the energy and advice that they need. Regardless, Michigan prefers having him on the ice. “He’s a big leader for our team, and he brings a lot to the table offensively and defensively,” Lockwood said. “To have a senior leader out of the lineup always hurts you. We look forward to him coming back.”

Sports

Wednesday, November 6, 2019 — 8A

‘M’ holds on to top App State, 79-71 CONNOR BRENNAN Daily Sports Writer

Jon Teske was cooking and the Michigan faithful inside Crisler Center couldn’t get enough. With nine points in the opening 2:40, the senior center pulled up from the wing for a heat-check 3-pointer. Though it clanked off the front rim, Teske, and the rest of the Michigan men’s basketball team (1-0), oozed with confidence. “Coach (Juwan Howard) drew up a lot of good plays and fortunately enough, I was able to finish around the rim,” Teske said. “My teammates were finding me and I was just using my height advantage — they were kinda small in the frontcourt.” Following in the senior’s lead, junior guard Eli Brooks knocked down two shots from behind the arc while sophomore wing Adrien Nunez converted on a stepback jumper from the elbow. By the first media timeout, the Wolverines had quickly tallied 16 points against a stunned Appalachian State and blown the roof off the building. The utter delirium that characterized the first 20 minutes of Howard’s inaugural game eventually gave way to frustration and concern in the second half, as a slew of turnovers and missed shots almost cost the Wolverines the game. Ultimately, Michigan overcame its near collapse, winning, 79-71, against the Mountaineers (0-1) in a hard-fought, yet thoroughly unconvincing opener. Keeping the pace high — something Howard has emphasized so far in practice — and the defensive intensity up, the Wolverines opened up a substantial lead early on. “The pace was important,” Brooks said. “We were getting up and down the floor. Not letting them get set up.” Accompanying Teske’s 15 firsthalf points was a frenetic defensive performance. Michigan’s hands were seemingly in every passing lane, slapping the ball away and stealing possessions. During one sequence, sophomore forward Colin Castleton nicked it away from Appalachian State guard Donovan Gregory, leading to a wideopen three for junior forward Isaiah Livers on the other end. In total, the Wolverines forced 12 first-half turnovers on the Mountaineers, to go with multiple low-percentage desperation shots. Coming out of the break, Michigan expanded its 21-point advantage with two corner threes from Brooks — who finished with a team-high 24 points — and an easy baseline alley-oop from sophomore guard David DeJulius to Livers. And then, the game turned. Thanks to uncharacteristic turnovers from Livers and senior guard Zavier Simpson, poor shooting and defensive miscues, Appalachian State mounted a comeback. “We were trying to make a quick shot,” Teske said. “We just have to share the ball, move the ball and use the shot clock more. We had a lot of silly turnovers in the second half trying to force passes that aren’t there. If it’s not there, we just need to pull the ball out and run more offense” The Mountaineers went on a 27-3 tear over an eight-minute stretch and cut the deficit to just four points with 20 seconds remaining. Facing a full-blown debacle, Michigan made enough plays down the stretch to stave off the comeback. Simpson and Brooks were steady enough at the helm, while Livers converted a secondchance layup under the basket with 1:31 remaining to increase the lead to eight and give the Wolverines some breathing room. In the end, it was far from straightforward. Still, a win is a win. The Wolverines held on to give Howard his first victory on the sidelines at Michigan — and a lot of practice material. “It’s our first game,” Teske said. “It’s a long season. We’re going to learn from this. We’re going to grow from this. We still got a lot of improvement to do and that’s what practice is for. We’ll come back this week and we’ll get better.”

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

almost

NO SWEAT MICHIGAN 79 - APPALACHIAN STATE 71

ALEXANDRIA POMPEI / DAILY

DESIGN BY JACK SILBERMAN

On the sideline, Howard settles in ABBY SNYDER

Daily Sports Writer

As the final minutes of the Michigan men’s basketball team’s season-opening 79-71 victory over Appalachian State ran off the clock on Tuesday, Juwan Howard was in his element. His imposing frame cast a long reflection over the shining hardwood floors at Crisler Center, his long arms stretched as he signaled to his players, his face was animated as he shouted directions over the chaos of the Maize Rage behind him. Just a couple hours earlier, the newly-minted head coach’s body language told a muchdifferent story. He wavered between sitting and standing for much of the beginning of the game – his first at the helm of this Michigan team. Sitting, he craned as far forward as he seemed physically capable of doing, trying to get a read on the court. Standing, he looked tense. His long arms either hung by his sides or fidgeted with his tie or the button of his jacket, but his body leaned forward as if he was physically restraining himself from running onto the court. It was Howard’s first time as a head coach outside the NBA’s Summer League, and at times it’s showed, most notably (and most recently) when he named three different recruits in a press conference on Monday, violating NCAA rules. But as the the clock hit zero at Crisler on Tuesday night, Howard looked as much at home leading the Wolverines from the sidelines as he once looked leading them on the court. “He’s always teaching. He loves to teach,” said senior center Jon Teske. “He’s giving us feedback, just continuing that trust we have. He loves to teach, and that translated to the game today, too.” There are a lot of high expectations that go hand-inhand with a member of the Fab Five coming back to Ann Arbor to replace the best basketball coach in school history. Howard is well aware of what his hiring represents. He expects a lot of his team, and even more of himself. “There are areas where not just our players have to improve, but me as a coach,” Howard said. “That’s part of the process; I separate myself from the group. As a coach, I keep going back, hopefully I get some sleep tonight. Hopefully I will not play every play and possession back in my head. I know I will definitely have some sleep disturbances, because I have that mindset. I’m always critical. I’m always hard on myself.” And so, as Howard drew ever closer to the first win of his head-coaching tenure, ever closer to ushering in what will one day be known in Ann Arbor as the Juwan Howard Era, his energy was almost palpable: no longer tentative or cautious, but excited, confident and most of all, hungry. It was just an eight-point victory for a team that held a 30-point lead at one point. These Wolverines can do better, and will need to do better against tougher teams down the road. They’ll need to pass cleaner, shoot more effectively and turn the ball over less — among other things — if they want to be a relevant team in March. Howard knows it will be a challenge. But he’s ready for it. “Absolutely, I feel extremely comfortable and confident being the leader of this team,” Howard said. “Because I care. (I) care about this game, care what happens, care about this team, how we can improve.” There are plenty more questions Howard will have to answer over the course of the season. But as for a headcoaching style, a leadership personality? That’s coming along just fine.

statement T H E M I C H I G A N DA I LY | N OV E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 9

What does reality

mean to a diarist?

PHOTO BY DANYEL THARAKAN

2B Wednesday, November 6, 2019 // The Statement

statement T H E M I CH I GA N DAI LY | O C TO B E R 3 0, 2019

Managing Statement Editor Andrea Pérez Balderrama Deputy Editors Matthew Harmon Shannon Ors

Designers Liz Bigham Kate Glad Copy Editors Silas Lee Emily Stillman

Associate Editor Eli Rallo

Photo Editor Danyel Tharakan Editor in Chief Maya Goldman Managing Editor Finntan Storer

Modern Love: Tinder a real life love game BY HANNAH BRAUER, STATEMENT COLUMNIST

used to keep Tinder in the games folder on my phone. No, really, it held the first spot, the top left, followed by Tiny Wings and Words with Friends. “I downloaded Tinder because I was bored” is a good lie I tell myself. After my sophomore year of college, I moved home for the summer, and the novelty of living in my childhood bedroom was wearing off. My friends were either working 9-to-5 jobs or studying abroad, leaving me to my own devices — in this case, my phone. After my first long-term relationship ended earlier that year, I needed a quick fix for affirmations. It turned out that Tinder was a free slot machine that spit out semicreepy messages and heart-eye emojis every few swipes. I’ve always had a problem with phone games. As a kid, I cycled through apps like relationships; I became infatuated with them, then obsessive, then eventually had to delete them after they started becoming a toxic presence in my life. I had a phase with Restaurant Story and Smurfs Village in middle school, which required that I get up in the middle of the night to tend to my virtual estates. In high school, I played Guitar Hero III with my boyfriend every time I was at his house, hoping to level up. For my friends and me, Tinder was also a game. We would swap phones and swipe for each other, gawking at the white boys holding fish and their shirtless mirror selfies. Some put photos of girls in their profiles as if to prove women had been attracted to them at one point. Their bios were typically that one quote from “The Office” everyone loves but isn’t funny. Swipe left. Soon, I found myself swiping passively, then compulsively. I would swipe at night and wouldn’t fall asleep until I got one more match. It wasn’t that I wanted to meet with any of these people, or even talk to them — I just wanted them to talk to me. The more messages that accumulated in my inbox, the more I felt I was leveling up. Then I found Drew. In his first photo, he was petting a puppy with one hand and holding a ukulele in the other. Fifty-six miles away. “College baseball player, puppy father, aspiring pediatrician, novelist, INFJ.” I swiped right so fast. We seemed too compatible — we were both writers, loved

dogs, played the ukulele and even had the same Myers-Briggs personality type. Had my swiping paid off somehow? We matched. I messaged him and we met for bubble tea in Ferndale. He showed me his poetry, which wasn’t terrible. I thought he was cute. We decided to have another date. “Let’s play ukulele together!” he suggested as we parted ways. “I could show you the metropark by my house. You can meet my dog, too!” It sounded romantic enough. I drove home with the sunset behind me and realized I had a real crush on him. didn’t tell my mom where I was going before packing up her car and driving 56 miles to Drew’s house. I was met with a side hug. Once inside, I met the puppy from his profile, which immediately peed on the ground. “Mo-om,” Drew called and left, leaving me in the front room with a small puddle of urine. I opened Tinder to do some anxious swiping. A girl’s bare torso filled my screen. Half of a boy’s face. A close-up of someone’s lips. Body parts came and went as I swiped in a rapid fire. Drew returned with his ukulele and drove us to the metropark. We sat in the middle of the picnic area, completely surrounded by suburban families. When the time came to play ukulele together, Drew began shaking as he tried to strum a chord. It looked foreign in his hands. That’s when it hit me — this boy doesn’t actually know how to play the ukulele. I ended up giving him a free lesson, after which he became frustrated and asked me to play a song. Very aware of the families surrounding us in a 360-degree stage, I sang as quietly as possible. Our audience heard and started clapping. I announced we were leaving immediately. We went to a drive-thru ice cream place where Drew ordered Flamin’ Hot Cheetos soft-serve, then took us to a baseball field for his dog to run around. Drew took one bite of his ice cream then spit it out onto the gravel. I watched in horror as he called the puppy to finish it. The dog demolished the cone, leaving only orange specks on his nose. I opened Tinder again with my phone tilted away from Drew

ILLUSTRATION BY SHERRY CHEN, PHOTO BY DANYEL THARAKAN

and continued swiping, faster this time. Somehow, Drew decided this was the correct time to kiss me. I quickly locked my phone as he put his mouth on mine, and the cheesy dust on his lips burned the inside of my cheek. It was the only spark I felt when he kissed me. We sat in silence for a few minutes as his dog ran laps around us. Finally, Drew invited me back to his house to play Guitar Hero III. I smirked. We played a few rounds of “Reptilia” by The Strokes before tackling “Through the Fire and Flames” by DragonForce. Four minutes in, a figure walked downstairs and almost made me drop my plastic guitar. Drew’s dad, a short white man, was holding the scariest chainsaw I had ever seen. The light from the TV cast a shadow that made him resemble the final boss in a video game. But this wasn’t a game anymore. I should have told my mom where I was. I watched, petrified, as the man approached us, turned on the machine, and started sawing a slab of wood behind

the couch. Drew didn’t even turn around. I jerked my body back and saw that he had an entire workshop right there behind us. “Hey, you’re missing your solo,” Drew yelled over the noise. “I can’t hear!” DragonForce swelled as the chainsaw made contact with the wood, emitting a crackling screech like newlycaught prey. The noise stopped as soon as it had begun, and Drew’s dad calmly climbed the stairs again with his two large pieces of wood. I jumped up, shaken. “I need to leave,” I said and grabbed my bag. Fifty-six miles. I drove 56 miles for this. In the car, I hastily deleted my Tinder app, but knew I would download it again within a few weeks. It took me another five months to realize I couldn’t win and cut it off for good. As I merged onto the highway, I saw the faintest sunset in my rearview mirror. Bright orange filtered through the dark clouds like dying tinder in a fire. I laughed. All the clouds were shaped like Cheetos.

Wednesday, November 6, 2019 // The Statement 3B 3B

Can art thrive in a computer-dominated world? BY ALEXANDER COTIGNOLA, STATEMENT COLUMNIST

s I walked to my art history class, a poster hanging in the Diag read, “What will you do when machines do everything?” Carrying in my mind all of the impressionist paintings I had to memorize for this exam, I thought surely the visual arts could never be done by a computer. The level of emotion and resolve that goes into a work of art seems incompatible with the idea of computing. Computers are best at doing rote tasks over and over again, freeing up people to leverage the creative ingenuity of the human mind. I thought there would be no way for a computer to develop its own works of art, since it required a level of thought and deliberation unknown to an everyday laptop computer. Or so I thought. According to an article I read in The Atlantic recently, artificial intelligence is now capable of developing its own works of art after being fed thousands of images. These machines are able to detect patterns in the works and make a similar piece, albeit a blurry mass of color attempting to resemble a Renaissance portrait. That emotion and intelligence I believed exclusive to humans may no longer be ours exclusively, as computers are now capable of taking in information in a way that resembles human thinking. This may allow them to eventually develop works on their own and possibly become the new arbiters of art taste. If art, the beacon of creativity, could still fall prey to the unrelenting monster of computation, I feared nothing would be safe in its path. But the knowledge I gained from taking that art class on French modernism in the 19th century stopped me from immediately deploring this new development. My professor reminded us all of the time that many of the artworks we studied took their inspiration from paintings that came before them. In fact, some painters, like Manet, literally copied elements from old paintings and pasted them into his own,

something a computer could easily do. For example, Manet, an admirer of the Spanish masters such as Velázquez and Goya, literally moved the crowd from one of Goya’s bullfighting scenes to his own Execution of Maximilien. But, instead of the crowd peering over the ring, they were peering over a wall while they watched the soldiers shoot the prisoners. The presence of the faceless soldiers standing in lockstep, away from the viewer, is essentially taken from Goya’s The Third of May 1808. Many of the paintings we studied in class either copied or transposed elements from older paintings and made them into something of their own, but with a new style ref lecting their own period. Put this way, it does not sound at all far-fetched that a computer could eventually do the same, given it can already recognize patterns and understand which paintings belong to which period of art. Creating a new style from old elements, however, gives me pause as to how successful artificial intelligence can be in replicating new art. While it might be able to see trends in data, I don’t think AI will be able to predict the next trend in art. For example, I don’t see the technolog y eventually gaining enough human foresight to make a leap equivalent to the shift from realism to impressionism in the 19th century. Nor will I think a computer will be able to know which

elements it should take from another painting in devising its own creation. Manet, in painting his work Olympia, put his model on the same bed with the same shade of red as Titian’s Venus of Urbino, right down to the same untucked sheet in the lower lefthand corner. How would a computer know that it wants to put its art on the same plane as the renowned Renaissance painters and so remind the viewer of a painting from that period? If it somehow was sensitive to the opinions of its human critics, how would it know which elements to include and in what form so as to make that connection in the mind of the viewer? Given these difficulties, I don’t believe computers could make the same works of art that measure up to the standards of humans. So, rest assured, I don’t think machines are coming for the painters anytime soon. But what if there is a third path — neither a complete replacement of artists by computers, or a Luddite-like destruction of technolog y that is capable of making art? What if art could instead be used to enhance the creative process, making the idea of looking to the past for inspiration a lot easier with the power of a computer? A few days ago, my sister sent me a link for an art exhibition she was seeing titled “Machine Hallucination”, which uses machine learning to process thousands of images of New York City architecture and thereby make connections between different structures made in different time periods. Instead of destroying art, computers could instead enhance how we view art and allow us to make insights we could not make without it. For me, someone who is looking to embrace both a creative side of writing and a technical field, this sounds like the perfect harmony. I hope, like many other tasks throughout human history, machines make the process of creating new content — such as these articles — easier and, possibly, even better.

ILLUSTRATION BY MAGGIE WIEBE

4B Wednesday, November 6, 2019 // The Statement

Wednesday, November 6, 2019 // The Statement 5B

What does reality mean to a diarist? BY MIRIAM FRANCISCO, SENIOR COPY EDITOR

“I

wrote so I could say I was truly paying attention,” writer and poet Sarah Manguso explained. These verbs should be past tense, but since they’re all present tense, I’ll let you decide if you want to change them all. As long as they’re consistent in her 2015 book “Ongoingness: The End of a Diary.” “Experience in itself wasn’t enough. The diary was my defense against waking up at the end of my life and realizing I’d missed it.” Like Manguso, I want to feel as if I’m paying careful attention to my life, and keeping a diary seems like a good way to do it. “There should be extra days, buffer days, between the real days,” Manguso wrote. I want this, too: a break from time, a little pocket of nothing in which to figure out the fullness of the days. Writing in my journal might be the closest I can get to a break. But diary-keeping serves other purposes, too, PHOTOS BY DANYEL THARAKAN

and I’m trying to figure out what those are. “Introspection is not as reliable as observation,” writes essayist Louis Menard in his article “Woke Up This Morning,” which appeared in The New Yorker in 2007. In the piece, Menard tried to puzzle out diaries — why we keep them, and why we like to read other people’s. Menard argued that diaries aren’t a particularly trustworthy record of the diarist’s inner life. Instead, he supposed that diary-keeping might ref lect various psychological needs or imbalances, and are thus tainted by the purpose the journal serves for the writer. Menard drew on a few Freudian ideas, including the ego theory (“It obliges you to believe that the stuff that happened to you is worth writing down because it happened to you”) and the id theory, which proposes diaries as a tool for recording desires and failures that cannot be publicly expressed. Next comes the superego theory: “When we describe the day’s events and our management of them, we have in mind a wise and benevolent reader who will someday see that we played, on the whole, and despite the best efforts of selfish and unworthy colleagues and relations, a creditable game with the hand we were dealt.” I’ve kept a diary since I was seven or eight years old, and I think all of these theories might be true, to some extent. I write to figure out how I feel, and in doing so, I feel I’m justifying things — to myself, a future version of me who’ll read the diary, or to someone who might stumble on it years after my death. But how accurate is the rendering of myself that I’ll reread, 30 years down

the line? I think it’s possible Menard is right that the picture is not very accurate at all. Sometimes, I’ll write something down in my diary about the way I’m feeling or an interaction with a friend, and know that I haven’t got it quite right. According to Menard, diaries are inaccurate, possibly ego-driven (or id-driven, or superegodriven) records. What, then, is the point in keeping them? What’s the point of reading them? Even if a diary is shaped by unconscious desires, even if it’s a blatant attempt to create the sort of person you want to be, I think it still ref lects something important about who you were at the moment of writing: insecure, sad, confused, thrilled. Rereading a diary might not help current-me remember what past-me was like, but it’ll remind me of who I wanted to be. Diary entries are always a ref lection of something true, even if that truth isn’t always communicated obtusely. I’m thinking of a song by Evan Dando called “Hard Drive”: “This is the bed I’m sleeping in / This is the shirt I’m buttoning / This is the pace I’m moving at / This is the tune I’m humming now / This is the road I’m walkin’ down,” he sings, cataloguing his life the way one might in a diary. “Have you ever felt yourself in motion?” he continues. “It reminds me of the way writing in a diary or rereading one can sometimes feel: a fall back to yourself, a reminder of the currents of change beneath everything.” ome years I wrote in my diary every single day, but there have also been periods when weeks or months passed with only a few lines. I recently finished the diary I’d been using since my sophomore year of high school. The first entry is dated Monday, Feb. 9, 2015, 10:10 p.m. “Okay day,” I wrote. “Got 97 on Art History test (Mannerism, High Renaissance) but math quiz was so hard!!! Get to finish it in the morning because the other class took it in a double and we only had a single. Alex still hasn’t asked me to junior prom. Trip to Gettysburg this week!” In an article about nostalgia, journalist Haley

Nahman wrote about the way her memory shifts to fit changing stories about her life. “I compartmentalize it and then piece it back together in whatever arrangement suits my chosen narrative (I was happy. I was inspired. I was broken),” she wrote. I do this, too, but when I reread my diaries, it feels both comforting and unsettling to be presented with a rough approximation of how it was to be 17 (or 10, or 13, or 20). But the rush of memory and nostalgia that accompanies rereading my diaries always feel buffered by the things I didn’t yet know when I was writing. I didn’t know on February 9, 2015, that I’d go to junior prom with Will, not Alex, and that he’d kiss me on the forehead at the after-party, and we’d watch the Mr. Bean movie, and I’d want to go home. Or that I’d never be very good at math, but it wouldn’t really matter. How can I remember anything accurately, when every memory is tainted or softened by what came after? There’s a concept in psycholog y called peak-end theory, which proposes that the way we remember something — a relationship, a road trip, a job — is based on the most intense emotional aspect of that thing and the way it ended, rather than an average of every emotional high and low. I’m especially interested in the idea that endings could unravel or revive a memory. A lovely vacation could end in a bitter argument, and the fight is what you’d remember. An awful day could close with an unexpected moment of joy, and all the pain would fall to the wayside. A fulfilling friendship might fall apart in a painful way, and the hurt is what would stand out. It seems unfair that the way something ends could ruin the rest of it, but this is the double-edged sword of memory, and of endings. Heartbreak, grief, disappointment, anger: They don’t seem so awful if everything turned out ok in the end. Happiness is likewise changed by whatever happened next — a death, a breakup, an argument taken too far. Montages of picnics and parties and inside jokes can spoil so easily. This is partly why it feels important to me to write

everything down, even the feelings I know are temporary. Otherwise, I run the risk of letting everything be defined by endings, which seems like a uniquely unsatisfying way to live. Even if the things I’m writing aren’t the truest truth — even if they are shaped by how I want to feel or think I should feel — the approximations I come up with are better than the alternative, which is my own malleable memory. peaking of endings: I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately. I’m a senior, and the knowledge that this is my last year in Ann Arbor seems to crop up at inconvenient times. It doesn’t seem so long ago that I was a freshman. College is funny that way: Graduation doesn’t seem far off, but neither does the time when leaving felt impossibly remote. The weirdest part of being a senior for me is that this is when college life feels the fullest and settled. My bedroom feels like a real room, not a temporary landing pad. The drawing of a hand that my friend Summer made; the Andy Warhol poster I bought in Chicago over fall break; the ticket stub from a concert I covered for The Daily; the cartoon I cut out from The New Yorker last week. (Roald Dahl sits under a tree, waiting for a book idea. A giant technicolor peach falls on his head.) And my friends: I’ve known them for long enough that we have a trove of stories to tell and retell, a whole world that we’ve created over the past three years. We say, remember the time we ducked out of a party to get burritos? Remember when I spilled red wine all over a boy’s white shirt at that frat party and he came stomping into the girl’s bathroom to find me? Remember when we thought we heard a burglar and ran outside and accidently locked ourselves out of the house? Remember the day at the river, that football game in the snow? The sunburn?

Remembering college is as satisfying right now as it’ll ever be, because nothing hurts to recall. It’s all still here. But in six months it’ll be over, and I’m trying to figure out how to not keep thinking about the end. I think part of the solution might have to do with writing things down — not just for future-me, who will want to crawl back into this life, but also for now-me. Documenting the way things are right now is a way to indulge in the present, to feel as if it’s ok to stay deep inside my life, even if the pain of leaving might change the way I remember this time. In a series of excerpts from the late journalist Mavis Gallant’s diaries, which were published in The New Yorker in 2012, one entry from 1959 stood out to me. “Must reality become unreal?” she wrote. “Record, then, that we took the train and walked in the royal park at Marly, and lay in the uncut grass under a sky as warm as wool and blue as itself. The chestnut trees looked as though nothing could oblige them ever to shed their leaves; and when the wind bent the grass around the barren f lat, submissively, the grass went all one color, silvery, like the underside of leaves, as if it might rain.” I admire how swiftly Gallant moved from existential angst to earnest, keenly observant musings on the present. This, I think, is the work of all diarists — to recognize that the task of documentation is an impossible one, and to proceed with it anyway.

Wednesday, November 6, 2019 // The Statement

Preserve our tectonic plates by preserving our own

BY ARJUN THAKKAR, STATEMENT COLUMNIST

he ringing of my alarm wakes me up. The warmth of my sheets and the ache in my limbs and back keep me bound to the bed, lethargic on a day when honking cars and whirring buses outside my window call for me to get up. I remain suspended in place while businessmen stride along the sidewalk outside my window. Their odd strides unsettle me. Yet, what is most troubling is what lies in the sun’s illuminating gaze, what lies on my mind every waking hour, what lies next to me and is often my first sight of the day. Every morning, as I lean on my elbow and reach into the distance to silence my alarm, my eyes glance at my desk, and I grimace at the horror before me. No matter how hard I try, I cannot forget what is here with me. On my desk sit two porcelain plates, two white bowls, one plastic bowl and a metal spoon, fork and knife, all piled up in a makeshift tower. The top plate is smothered with remnants of my mother’s moong dal, caking the white surface with a hardened crust. The plate seems to hold a barren desert, the blue and green stripes and f lowers in the center of the plate obscured. Bits of scattered roti line the edges of the

plastic bowl, and though the spoon seems clean enough to be used again, the stains of overuse remain. When I eventually roll out of bed and turn to my to-do list to write the many tasks to complete, doing my dishes doesn’t end up there. I can read 50 pages in an hour right before a book discussion, review concepts right before an exam and write a sixpage essay all in one night, but I somehow never find a moment to wash my plates and utensils. I put my mom’s home cooked meals in the microwave on a dirty plate. Food waste continues to collect on the containers. “I’ll get to it when I have to,” I tell myself. “It’s not an issue right now.” Despite being aware of the grotesque aesthetic and potential for mold or sanitation concerns, I continue on with my day completely unworried, only doing a brief water rinse when truly necessary. My stagnant negligence might sound familiar. The way in which I justify my disregard for my dirty dishes parallels a common narrative we hear in response to concerns about climate change. The politicians, businessmen and other public figures who are most able to take action to reduce the threat of climate change continually backpedal, essentially justifying inaction rather than reform. At its core, the problem of climate change is a problem of procrastination at a high-level — industrialists, policymakers and executives who knew that their work was a ticking time bomb passed it on to future generations. This conscious complacency comes from greed and prioritizing personal desire over collective health and security. Procrastination easily snowballs, yet more reprehensible is being aware of the implications of procrastination and doing nothing in the name of

short-term gain. In many ways, my plate crisis is one I inherited from my family, though I do not blame my parents or any one person in particular for handing it off to me. We often leave things to be done until the last possible minute — filling out paperwork the night it is due, cleaning the house minutes before guests arrive and, of course, washing the dishes only when we need clean plates or silverware. We often stack individual plates in the sink after a quick rinse rather than scrubbing them down and putting them away. Soon enough, a tower like the one on my desk forms in our kitchen. When there’s no other option, my parents eventually crack their knuckles and get to washing. It’s a common tradition in Indian culture to hand down dishware to children after serious developments in their life, such as moving away from home or marriage, and these dishes oftentimes have a parent or grandparent’s name inscribed on them. The set that I received when I came to Michigan follows along in this custom. But I ask myself, “Do I want to pass down plates and silverware that have been so tainted, so desecrated that it feels unnerving to think of someone else eating from them? Am I just destined to follow the same path of prior generations — the path of attrition and decay until the dishes fall and the problem becomes real enough to be addressed?” When the food scraps on my desk spilled over one afternoon before a class earlier this year, I knew I had to change my habits. After scrubbing the food off the plates under the stream of water with a sponge, I resolved to wash every dish, even the smallest utensil, immediately after use. When I had a late-night snack, I didn’t wait till the next morning to clean it and store it in a drawer. Though my realization was painful, it has done wonders for my room, clearing up space on my desk and letting me tackle my day with one less nagging concern on my mind. The tragedy in comparing my dishwashing process to an extinction-level threat is the way in which the metaphor falls apart. I can always shift course to cultivate personal growth, but there is no such immediate solution that can completely halt the current process of the warming climate and its many effects. While I can face my demons, humankind cannot face its own. The war of attrition is in some ways inevitable for reform, and efforts to combat the crisis are currently trying to clear the first hurdle — getting those to whom the issue most pertains to acknowledge the issue. Until procrastinators and opportunists like me decide that it is in our best interest to solve an underlying issue rather than let it fester, nothing is going to get done. If we can’t even maintain our own personal plates in order, then we certainly cannot preserve our place on Earth. PHOTO BY DANYEL THARAKAN

Dream Journal

Wednesday, 2019////The The Statement 7B 7B Wednesday, November January 16,6,2019 Statement

BY JESSICA GARDINER, STATEMENT CONTRIBUTOR

riday, 09/14 I was in a canoe swaying down a narrow river, barely fitting the width of it. A cat with orange hair and white patches was following me along the riverbank. She was a chunky cat with an extra layer of fat all around and a face a bit too scrunched up. I was approaching the entrance of a cave that appeared to stretch as high as the bright blue sky. The cave’s inner walls gave off a subtle, purple hue all around, stretching from the bottom of the river up along the cave’s walls. Cautiously, my hands trembling on the side of the canoe, I glanced down at the water to see how my reflection had turned purple, but the water was too wavy for me to see my face clearly. My thin face was a large, purple swirl with my right eye and bottom lip almost touching. The cat now crawled on the walls beside me, avoiding my canoe with determination. I called out what was apparently her name, “Luna …” But Luna paid me no mind. My shout echoed through the endless cave, but instead of fading away it grew twice as loud as if someone at the end of the cave was shouting back. was at the theater sitting next to my childhood friend, Hannah. We were both eight when we were friends. She kept talking too loudly over the play that was going on, telling jokes and trying to make me laugh. We were seated in the middle of the seventh row, and I felt as if everyone could hear us. I felt an odd sensation behind me, and when I turned to look, I saw an arm reaching out with desperation to touch my shoulder. Screaming, I looked up to see who it was, but their face was a blur — completely unrecognizable as if I was looking through a smudged camera. As I stared, trying to distinguish who it was, I grew to the size of my current, 18-year-old self while Hannah tugged at my hair, trying to bring me lower. She lifted up my pink dress, gasping at the sight of my fullygrown, bare legs. As I was trying to push my dress back down, Hannah stood up so that she was at eye-level and shouted with contempt, “Why are there cat scratches all over you?” Suddenly, I felt pain in my thighs and looked down. Blood was dripping from them, sliding down my legs to the theater floor toward the stage. Hannah ran away, screaming, my blood stained on her yellow floral dress. sually I can’t remember my dreams, but these dreams — they’re vivid. Before, my dreams would just be day-to-day occurrences, so much so that I’d forget what was a dream and what had actually happened. I dreamt of things like asking my roommate for a pencil, being late for class, getting locked out of

my dorm. Then the day after these kinds of dreams, I’d see something that reminded me of the dream, like a dull pencil, and only then I’d remember it had been a dream. These recent dreams, however, are different — unquestionably separate from reality. They’re stuck in my brain all day. I’ll be sitting in my first year philosophy lecture, tuning out my professor, and just imagining my blood running down to the front of the lecture hall and soaking through his brown, leather dress shoes. These dreams frighten me. They awaken a part of my life that I’ve disconnected from: my childhood, my innocence. Both feel so far away from me now. These feelings started when Abby, my roommate, wanted to go to a party. This was last night. She ran out of friends to go with, I guess, so she had made me go with her. It was my first college party. Oh, you wouldn’t believe how excited I was — awkward dancing, beer-soaked men, I couldn’t wait. Abby dressed me in one of her black crop tops and jean-shorts, overdid my make-up and straightened my long blonde hair. I remember how heavy my eyes felt from the mascara on my lashes. It felt odd seeing myself in the

mirror, but Abby had managed to make my blue eyes glow. We had both gotten dressed in the small space between our beds, bumping into each other occasionally. She had plenty of clothes to pick from. They poured out of her dressers and unpacked boxes all alongside her piles of shoes that drifted over to my relatively cleaner side. I don’t know why she had wanted to go so badly. It was one of those grimy parties with over-eager guys everywhere. I just made sure I drank enough so I wouldn’t feel so badly when random boys started dancing on me. That’s how the night started at least. Soon, I’d drunk so much bubbly, green jungle juice, that my spinning head sped into a blur along with my memories of the night. There were hands on my waist, whispers in my ear and sloppy kisses down my neck. It felt so new, so warm, so I followed where it took me. I don’t remember what happened next. All I know is I woke up in my dorm with a boy in my bed. He was passed out, drooling on my pillow, his black, shaggy hair covering his eyes. I wasn’t sure what I’d done with him until Abby had started making fun of me for losing my virginity during

the first week of college. The only thing I’ve been able to do today is write this entry and take some showers. I took seven showers today. I wanted everyone’s sweat from the party off of me. I wanted his musty smell off me. I wanted the shame off me. My rose body wash would lather on my arms, legs, chest, stomach, so much so that I couldn’t see my own skin anymore, and for a moment, I felt clean of everything. Then after too short a time the water would wash it all away, and the sight of my own, defiled skin would leave me restless. I repeated this process throughout the day, scrubbing with more force each time. When I wake up and recount my dreams, I reflect on my childhood, and the shame I felt after waking up with the boy resurface. The guilt I feel for disappointing my past self, it’s something I have to spend the whole day recovering from; my brain is heavy, my heart is stinging, my throat is closed. That’s why I’m writing all my dreams down in this journal and reflecting on them. I thought maybe it’d help them escape my brain.