Kim and I dedicate this book to our good friend, Walter Russo. He knows why.
FOREWORD
ABOUT THE AUTHOR If Michael Crandal happened to be a dog, he’d definitely be a mutt. If a horse, one might say that he didn’t necessarily come from good breeding. To substantiate his childhood as a one-kid dog and pony show, here are some credentials: Financial Roots? At the age of 16 Michael made more money than his parents put together with his first real job, waiting tables in the small town of Twin Falls, Idaho. So much for being born with a silver spoon in his mouth. (But, due to this background, he learned the value of hard work. Just dreaming about things would never do. He learned that “Losers let things happen. Winners make things happen.”)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR So much for any “Father Knows Best” warm and fuzzies. (Yet, to this day, Michael thanks God for the “father” that raised him and the resulting life-lessons that instilled understanding and compassion for others and the various obstacles everyone faces.) Many would consider Michael having too much excessive “baggage” to amount to much. Yet, this same higher education dropout graduated to the following: Presenting the keynote address at the MBA Conference at Northwestern University’s famed Kellogg School of Management. Guest lecturing at Purdue University. Consulting for hotels, clubs, and restaurants. Presenting countless Management & Leadership seminars and workshops.
Formal Education? Michael does not have a college degree. But, he proudly points to the fact that he did graduate from Twin Falls Senior High School, 217th in his class of 434! To this day he grins that he has yet to figure out with any certainty if this means he graduated in the top or bottom half of his class. So much for intellectual prowess. (Michael believes that is not how much you know. Instead, how much you care. People could care less how much you know until they know how much you care. He believes that some folks are educated beyond their intelligence. But, then, what does a kid who was 217th in his class know about such things?)
Life’s 10-Point Must System, pinpoints the way that he lives his life and how he believes that anyone, regardless of how much baggage they believe they have been packing around for years, never need to have it weigh them down.
Father Image? Michael was adopted as an infant and raised by an out of control alcoholic who ultimately drank himself to death at the age of 55.
Michael is someone who openly admits that he has never experienced learning a single thing while he was talking, but hopes after reading this book, your experience will be different.
Physical abuse, outrageous drunken behavior, and constant apprehension filled his growing up years.
By the way, just in case you were wondering, CNG stands for: Certified Nice Guy. Self-certified, by the way. But, a nice guy nonetheless.
Michael now resides in La Quinta, CA with his wife, Kim whom he describes as, “The most beautiful woman that God ever created. Plus, she’s not too tough to look at either.”
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
It would be impossible to acknowledge all the people who have touched my life in helping to shape and mold my own unique approach to life itself. But the following simply must be singled out as those who with even the mention of their names bring significant meaning to all of my thoughts and actions:
In addition, it brings a continual smile to my face and warmth to my soul, to mention two special people that, if not for their love and encouragement, who knows if my greatest ambitions would still be longing for nothing more than that next pick-up “make it-take it” basketball game and a cold beer afterwards.
Bob Tickner, Denis Waitley, Phyllis Kelly, Marilyn & Randy Tichauer, Harry Metzger, Bill Hybels, Bob Thune, Walt Sinclair, John Struggles, Marion O’Connor, Bill Yinger, Bob Rohovit, Sharon & Jim Kellock, Harris Kal, Walter Russo and the loving Tyrrell family.
To my dear Mother “The Wonderful Ruth” who gave me birth, raised me in a manner pleasing to God, and ultimately gave me a loving step-father who proved to be my greatest role model — and to my precious bride who will forever be my brand new girlfriend, everyday — “That Kim Girl” goes my love and devotion this side of heaven.
All of them have enriched and influenced my thinking. I am gratefully acknowledging my sincere appreciation to each. Singled out, is Edgar Johnson — the finest Christian man I have ever known. The man who became my respected and admired step-father and whom without, I never would have known how to be a devoted and loving husband. I miss him every day. Also, Bud Gravette — a devoted family man, incredibly astute thinker, superb businessman, good friend, and the most dynamic leader I have ever had the pleasure to work for or around. Personal inspiration and business mentorship just doesn’t get any better. Thank you, Bud!
Lastly, a note of appreciation to John Ortberg for his tremendous sermon offered at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, IL where Kim and I were married! It was John’s message that really made the bulk of Point Number Ten come to life in this book. (Obviously, I was listening in Church that day!) Onward, Michael Crandal, CNG
NOTE TO THE READER
PREFACE
English, unhappily, is not a neuter language. This creates difficult problems for writers who want to address, and write about both sexes. Throughout this book, a number of devices for “desexing” the prose have been attempted.
If you are like me, we share a habit of picking up a book that we are considering to read and immediately flipping back towards the end just to see what is there. In this case, I am hoping that you do the same!
Some places are written in the second person, thereby avoiding constant use of “he” and “she” and other masculine and feminine pronouns.
When I began work on this many years ago, my intent was strictly a management focused piece of work that would appropriately be found in the “Business Section” of book stores. Yet, as I kept writing and refining my work, a gentle voice kept whispering in the back of my mind, “Michael, while you are sharing some excellent truthful thoughts here, you’re missing the real point.” Normally input like this would be discouraging. But, in this case, I knew it was meant to be encouraging.
Other times, I’ve varied the sex of pronouns, sometimes talking about “he” and “him,” and other times about “she” and “her”. And, examples about both men and women have been referred to. Nevertheless, if the book still seems male-oriented, that’s because of a bias in English usage, not the author. I’ve worked with too many wonderful and creative people of both sexes not to have the strongest respect for both women and men in every walk of life. I’ve tried to convey that respect in this book.
Hmmm, well, I may be a slow learner (217th in my graduating class, remember?) but I knew that God was prompting me to share not only some excellent things, but to openly lay on the table the only source of truth and excellence: Jesus Christ. And that was and is THE point. So, I’ve saved for another time some great chapters focused on definitely business related skills such as: Delegation, Executive Meetings, Formal Performance Appraisal Systems, and the like. I also rewrote again and again the remaining content. But, most importantly, I added footnotes throughout the book referencing the only source of every good and excellent thought I have ever had: The inspired word of God found in the scriptures. So, if you happened to flip through the book, go ahead and read ALL the Footnotes from start to finish. Then, enjoy LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM from “The Beginning” right though the main point: the footnotes!
INTRODUCTION In the beginning, right up to this very moment and for ALL eternity beyond — it is ALL about God. Since that very beginning of what we now call the PAST, God has done it ALL right. He has done His part. God is faithful. But, right up to this very moment that we call the PRESENT, we have ALL got it ALL wrong. ALL thanks and glory are Christ’s who, by His very nature of being God, has provided a means by which we can ALL be right in His sight, this very day, and for ALL to come! This is the hope for a FUTURE. This is the promise for ALL time. This is for you and me. And that, my friends, is ALL there is. Before WE get started, let’s first lay the foundation upon which it ALL started:
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1
OK. Now that we’ve got that settled, let’s get started with Life’s 10-Point Must System.
LISTEN CLOSELY
LISTEN CLOSELY
“DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?”
They are all guilty of plagiarism. In fact, let’s give credit to the original author of lies and half-baked “truths”. (Note the little “t”.) The scene: The Garden of Eden. Enter stage left: the Devil himself, in costume as a snake. And the serpent said unto the woman, “Ye shall not surely die! For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods …”
It always comes around in cycles. And, always under slightly different repackaging. And, always, always — promising the same thing: “You can have and be whatever you want, if you just use the secret spiritual power within yourself.” The above philosophy / psychology of “Self Help” has been wrapped up in numerous packaging: “Name It and Claim It” — “Dare to be Great” — “Personal Transformation” — “The Power of Positive Thinking” — “You Are What You Think” — “Unlocking Your Inner Child” — Self Actualization” — “Law of Attraction” — “Sacred Awakening” — and, my personal favorite: “THE SECRET.” Of course, there are indeed some isolated “good ideas” scattered here and there in all the above various “Self Help” approaches to life. However, they ALL purport the lie that each of us has the potential within ourselves to live a fulfilling life of which our proper role is being our own little “god”. (Note the little “g”.) All of these propositions entirely ignore that we are all helpless (indeed – hopeless) without living our lives for God the creator and having our sins forgiven by what Jesus did that each of us are incapable of doing for ourselves. Otherwise — no matter how appealing something may sound, no matter how good it may look, no matter how desirable it seems to be, no matter how wise the philosophy surely must be — we are dead in our sins. All of the authors of these various “New Age” teachings, however well-intended — really have nothing new to offer.
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat …” Genesis 3:4-6
Is your plate being heaped full of “wisdom” based on confusing false promises of philosophy, psychology and plagiarism? Don’t swallow it! “ … you come from God and belong to God. You have already won a big victory over those false teachers, for the Spirit in you is far stronger than anything in the world. These people belong to the Christ-denying world. They talk the world’s language and the world eats it up. …” 1 John 4:4-6
Apart from the True living God, we can do nothing. Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
Luke 18:27
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Sooo — Do you want to know a secret?
It is no secret what God can do. What He’s done for others, He’ll do for you. With arms wide open, He’ll pardon you. It is no secret what God can do! Lyrics from It Is No Secret (What God Can Do) composed by Stuart Carl Hamblen in the 1950s.
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YOUR GUIDE TO EACH POINT
YOUR GUIDE TO EACH POINT
SUCCESS IS AN ATTITUDE [ p a g e 2 0] Successful people are not people who do not have problems Successful people are people who handle problems well.
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL [ p a g e 1 0 0] Concentrate on your goals , not the problems that separate you from them.
YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE A LITTLE DUST IN THIS WORLD [ p a g e 3 4 ] If you refuse to play the game, you automatically lose the game.
THINK! THINK! THINK! [ p a g e 11 8] You must be able to call an “audible at the line of scrimmage.”
LUCK IS A 4-LETTER WORD [ p a g e 5 6] A word to describe the success of others.
LEADERSHIP [ p a g e 1 3 4 ] Either lead, follow or get out of the way.
YOU’LL NEVER GET THERE, IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING [ p a g e 74 ] Hazy goals produce, at best, hazy results.
WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS [ p a g e 15 0] When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
TAKING A CALLED 3rd STRIKE [ p a g e 8 8] In order to learn from your mistakes, you have to make some.
YOUR FUTURE [ p a g e 16 4 ] Happiness is having something pending.
The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor. Vincent T. Lombardi Best known as the head coach of the Green Bay Packers during the 1960s. The NFL’s Super Bowl trophy is named in his honor.
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER ONE
Point Number
Success IS An Attitude Successful People Are NOT People Who Have No Problems. Successful People ARE People Who Handle Problems Well.
Your attitude (1) is the single greatest asset, or albatross, at your complete disposal. While it is an intangible force, one that cannot be seen, touched, or heard, there is no question that its very existence is the most dominating factor in determining your position in life. While you can’t see it with the naked eye, your attitude has the unique ability to always be seen anyway. Run as any of us may, or hide it as we might try (2) our attitude lights or dims every path before us. And, in many cases, how those around us view us.
Don’t ever let anyone try to tell you that PESSIMISM is somehow “in style” or the normal state of the human mind.
Every individual views the world around him through a different and unique set of filtered glasses. If you have a defeatist, pessimistic attitude, you will view the world as a threatening place where all your efforts are in vain. If your attitude is negative, your world is negative. (3)
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER ONE
However, if you have a healthy, optimistic attitude, you have a rich understanding of our world as a wonderful place in which to live, learn and grow where opportunities abound. The degree of success and satisfaction you achieve is in a direct one to one ratio to your attitude toward yourself, others, and the world around you.
Poor Jim goes to work every morning complaining audibly to himself about the traffic, the broken water cooler, the snooty and inefficient secretary, the pressures, the deadlines, the squeaky chair, the meetings and then the drive home. At home he is non-communicative and grumpy while feeling at least some consolation in “knowing” that this is not his fault. After all, it is all those other things that make him that way.
Your attitude is the key to (or the lock on) your personal door of success.
Marge keeps a dirty house because her mother yelled at her too much as a child. Eric drinks too much because his wife doesn’t have confidence in him. John goes aimlessly from job to job because his boss does not understand him. Ethel overeats and is obese because her parents always paid more attention to her sister. Eleanor continues to go into debt because her brother was killed in a plane crash. Ray is withdrawn and non-communicative because his friends plan activities and do not include him. And on and on and on and on it goes.
The first step toward developing your own unique positive attitude is accepting the fact that you have a personal responsibility for your position in life. For our purposes here, “personal responsibility” means that you and only you are 100% in charge of who you are and what you do. Personal mediocrity and negative results can often be traced back to a lack of personal responsibility. Rationalizations, cop-outs, defenses, lame excuses, pointing fingers, establishing blame, are all just weak attempts to justify the fear of accepting personal responsibility for the mental, spiritual and physical world in which you live. You must accept personal responsibility for the cause and effect attitude in which you view the world and your role in it.
“I am not responsible for what I am and the way I act,” all these people are saying. They have convinced themselves that other people and situations that they have no control over make them act as they do. As the saying goes, you really do “reap what you sow”. It is impossible to plant petunias and grow potatoes. Or to do nothing, and expect a harvest. It is equally impossible to shirk the reality of personal responsibility and expect anything more than negative results due to your attitude toward life. (4)
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER ONE
YOU are in the driver’s seat of your life. Not the government. Not the daily horoscope. Not your employer. Not your family. Not your friends. YOU! Show me a loser, and I’ll show you a philosopher. Show me a winner, and I’ll show you someone who accepts personal responsibility for his success or failure in life. You must take total personal responsibility for causing the effects in your own life! The vast majority of things that happen in your life are a reflection of those things that you allow your mind to harbor on the most. In any business, there is no substitute for quality. So why settle for less in your attitude toward your own life? (5)Grow up!
The SECOND step in developing a positive attitude is in expecting only the best from yourself.
Every moment of your life, awake and sleeping, you are constantly talking to yourself, reaffirming and justifying your beliefs and attitudes toward yourself. Your mind is like a garden, and whatever seeds you plant there will grow. Be careful about seeds that you are planting in the form of such phrases as: “I can’t do this or that very well” . . . “I don’t have the aptitude to do that” . . . “I’m not as smart as most people” . . . “I make mistakes all the time” . . . “I never know how to say the right things” . . . “I’m not very good at doing things like that” . . . “I have a poor memory.” Make a personal commitment right now to eliminate these types of negative assertions in your attitude toward yourself. By continually repeating negative assertions, you are actually using a form of self-hypnosis toward perpetually reinforcing a negative attitude toward your own efforts. (6) Bill Bradley, an All-American basketball player and Rhodes scholar from Princeton University, who later went on to star in the NBA and serve as a United States Senator from New Jersey, was once asked why he practiced so very many hours upon hours on the basketball court.
Engage in the self-talk of a winner. Expect good things from yourself — for in the long run, you will live up or down to your own expectatons.
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER ONE
He responded along the lines of, “Remember, when you are not practicing, someone, some where is. And, when you meet them, they will defeat you.”
You must put your positive attitude to work for you through your words and actions, in all you do. Go out and make a little dust in the world. Put into action some of the very things that you may have been telling yourself for years that you were not capable of doing.
Keeping that in mind be certain that the words and phrases you practice for hours upon hours in your mind are of a positive nature. Develop a “can do” attitude toward the challenges of dayto-day living. Reaffirm your expectations of yourself by using positive statements such as: “I will” . . . “I can” . . . “I am improving” . . . “I feel confident” . . . etc. And then: Practice. Practice. Practice! But, success does not find its greatest rewards in practice alone. Now is the time to put all of your efforts into action. “Walk the Talk”.
The THIRD STEP in fully developing your newly acquired positive attitude is accepting that in order to be of any real value, attitude must be transformed into action! A large crowd at a major college basketball game was dumbfounded when a team came back from a 14-point deficit with only 3 minutes left to win in overtime by one point. Afterwards, a reporter stated how remarkable it was that the team was able to avoid losing the game. The coach replied, “You know, that is one thing we have not covered in practice. We never practice losing.”
I have a close friend who, years ago, was employed in a large printing plant which mass produced Christmas cards and employed 100+ people to run the various presses. The process was a simple one in which the heavy stock paper was loaded into a machine and all of the redcolored ink was applied. The paper was then loaded into a second machine and the green-colored ink was applied. This process continued for as many times as there were colors. After going through the machines, then being cut and folded, the finished Christmas cards were packaged for distribution. There were dozens of machines and each one required three operators. One morning management called a meeting of all the machine operators to inform them that modern technology had developed a new piece of machinery that was capable of printing all the colors at one time and would also cut, fold and package the cards in the same operation. This meant that a total of three machines would be needed to get the same production as before. It also meant that only a handful of employees would be needed to operate the new machines. Then management explained that the operation of these new machines was much more complicated and would require a highly trained technician to be at the controls.
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER ONE
Seizing the opportunity, one man stepped forward and announced that he was capable of operating that type of machine and was looking forward to the opportunity. This individual was one of but a few who were retained.
You must step forward and say, “I can”— And then do! While the above true story may not be as dramatic as scoring the winning basket with a half-second left on the clock, or running for a touchdown to win the game, it is an example of putting a positive attitude into action in real day to day living. In order to “activate” your new positive attitude, you must put it into action. If you want “to be” then act “as if”. If you want to be a personal of high character and integrity, then start acting that way in all you say and do. If you want to be successful, then start behaving like a successful person behaves. If you want to be accepted and respected as a caring individual, then start caring and behaving in that light. A positive attitude with great expectations of yourself frees you from all of the self-imposed limitations you have been living with, perhaps for years.
Recognize that your altitude in life is the result of your attitude towards it.
Accept personal responsibility for your life. Practice the positive affirmations that shape your attitude. Transform your attitude into action.
Success is indeed an attitude. Get yours right!
POINT (1)
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM
A New Attitude: You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24
(2)
(3)
POINT
FOOTNOTES
No Place To Hide: You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:1-15
The World: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17
(4)
FOOTNOTES
Garbage In / Garbage Out: Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7
(5)
It’s Time To Grow Up: When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 1 Corinthians 13:11
(6)
Good Stuff Is In / Garbage Is Out: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Determine to never be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing. Thomas Jefferson Principal author of the Declaration of Independence, 3rd president of the United States.
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER TWO
Point Number
You’ve Got To Make A Little DUST In This World If You Refuse To Play The Game You Automatically Lose The Game.
People do not buy quality. Strange as that may seem, it is a truth. People do not buy quality. What they do buy, however, is perceived quality, and this is the reason why high-powered, major, multi-billion dollar corporations are presenting slick designed and produced media blitz campaigns that do everything to promote glamour, romance, prestige and sex appeal, yet do nothing to inform you about their product itself. Why do they do this? Obviously they have learned through market research and analysis that the consumer buys image and perceived quality rather than a product. For this reason:
Like It Or Not LOOKS ARE IMPORTANT! Hey! You lookin’ at me? Well, I’m lookin’ at you!
AUTO MANUFACTURERS actively market sex appeal and prestige, far more than a mode of transportation.
TOBACCO COMPANIES actively market a cool macho image and adventure, rather than the joys of inhaling hot smoke and potential illness.
BREWERIES actively market having friends and socializing, more so than the potential devastating effects of alcohol abuse.
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER TWO
An enormous portion of the American business dollar is invested in the advertising and marketing fields. Oftentimes, corporate allowances of monies for the purpose of marketing their products far exceed the total amount expended on the research, development and production of the products themselves.
OVER THE RADIOS IN OUR CARS Should the listener be subjected to jet turbine engines roaring off and fading into the imagined sunset while a soothing voice suggests that it could be you in one of those first-class seats taking off to exotic places — or would it better enhance ticket sales to have gentle tropical music in the background as that same voice tells you about the frequency of departure times?
Bazillions of dollars hinge on “critical” issues: IN MAGAZINES ON OUR COFFEE TABLES Should the young modern couple be shown inside the chauffeur driven limousine looking like they are just leaving for an exciting night on the town … or would it better enhance sales if instead it looked as they were just returning from that same exciting night? ON THE BILLBOARDS ALONG OUR HIGHWAYS Should a nice looking girl be shown in the middle of what appears to be a party in her honor, or would it better enhance sales to show a man alone next to a mountain campfire at dusk? ON THE DRY CEREAL PACKAGES IN GROCERY STORES Should the baseball hero be swinging a bat or would it better enhance sales if he were instead shown sliding into second base?
It is impossible to “steal home” — if you are sitting on the bench, much less sitting in the stands.
ON THE FLATSCREENS IN OUR HOMES Should a local, small town, independent gas station owner be shown efficiently attending to the needs of his customers, or would image be better enhanced by producing a documentary highlighting the process of oil exploration under the ocean floor with only the company logo shown in silence at the end? (What do you think, BP?) The point of all this is not to necessarily encourage you to seek a new career in advertising and marketing. The point is to encourage you to acknowledge the reality that your personal success can be greatly influenced by the advertising and marketing strategies you apply to yourself. (7) Diversified corporations may have a multitude of products and have spent millions of dollars establishing a plan to market them. Contrary to a corporation, YOU as an “independent operator” are your only product line.
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER TWO
You are the only product you have to sell. If we assume for just a moment that the money giant corporations spend on properly positioning their products is money well spent, then doesn’t it also make sense that we too, as ind ividuals, should spend some time and effort in marketing ourselves? It only follows that you should spend the time needed establishing a plan to market your only product — YOU! However, contrary to many major corporate powers we have the pleasure of hearing from every day; never lose sight of the fact that there is indeed no substitute for quality. Simple, yet it deserves repeating: THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR QUALITY! (8)
There is a tremendous difference between merely looking good and really being good.
The individual (or any company for that matter) who stresses only one or the other is potentially headed for short-term gains with all but certain long-term losses. A successful individual (or major company) knows that while looking good is a vital marketing tool, that alone is not enough to perpetuate long-range permanent returns on investments. Behind all of the glossy Fifth Avenue corporate logo design and that slick show-biz corporate slogan, there must be a product of quality design, quality concept and quality workmanship! On the other hand, once a quality finished product is ready for distribution, to create any “first time” sales, there must be some structured marketing plan letting the consumer know the availability of the product. Repeat sales are the name of the game. You can’t get repeat sales if when all is said and done, you really have nothing to sell. It must be understood that repeat sales and word of mouth advertising are the name of the game. Style is important. Substance is mandatory. Advertising alone can be equated to the icing on a beautifully decorated cake. No matter how beautiful the cake may look from the outside and how wonderful it appears, we are not going to take a second chance if we find that once we cut through the icing that there is no cake, but instead only a cardboard facsimile. Yikes!
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LIFE’S 10-POINT MUST SYSTEM :: POINT NUMBER TWO
In positioning yourself for success, you are no different in many ways than the corporate giants. You, too, must develop yourself into a quality product with a well-thoughtout marketing plan that lets the “consumer” know of your availability and the quality of your only product — YOU!
I responded by working even harder to add further polish to my existing skills and to learn new ones as well.
In order to be in a position to sell anything, from your company, your corporate image, your services, or most importantly yourself, you must draw attention. Once you have their attention you are then (and only then) in a position to make an initial sale. After that first sale then the quality of your product should kick in just like the after burners of a rocket and become a primary factor in creating repeat sales. Personal experience has taught me the value of getting the customers attention. My adventures as a waiter encouraged me to better and better my presentation skills for two reasons: one, I had a white-hot desire to do my very best and to enjoy the inner satisfaction of doing so, and, two, the harder I worked at polishing my skills, the better my gratuities became. As I strove hard to improve my skills, there was an immediate, one-toone ratio between my performance vs. my tips. The harder I worked toward my goal of becoming a truly professional and polished waiter, the better and better the monetary returns of my efforts became. But when I began to really feel that my technical skills were sharpened to a finely honed degree, I experienced a slight decrease in my tips.
I thought that this was just “one of those things” that would iron itself out. But, I found as the weeks drifted away, so did the returns on my tables. I was sure that soon the gratuities would return to their old lofty heights. Ah, not so fast. What happened was that I had reached that point known as the “Law of Diminishing Returns.” (Happens, by the way, every time the attention of the consumer is lost.) While there seemed to be a direct ratio between effort and return in the early stages of my development, this failed to sustain itself in spite of my becoming more professional and polished in my presentation and service skills. The answer became clear as I analyzed the problem. The symptom was that my tips were doing down, but the root problem was that I no longer had the customer’s attention! My earlier efforts were, at times, the center of attention since it was often necessary for me to interrupt the guests to clarify something I did not understand or to make extra trips to the table when I had overlooked something.
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Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not wish to present an image of a totally inept waiter with a lack of training. I do, however, wish to paint a picture of a young man at your table who, even though a bit wet behind the ears, was able to provide a very enjoyable evening; a young man who was clearly working very hard to do his best, and quite frankly, was doing a pretty good job of it at that.
I would, however, bring the cream with me and set it, out of sight, a few steps away from the table.
Should a mild mishap occur, I would handle it with such people-pleasing grace and warmth that I, perhaps, came out looking better than if the mishap had never happened at all. And that was the point! That was the problem later on! When small mishaps would occur, I would handle them strictly as an opportunity to look good by showing that I really was on top of things. Upon returning to the table, I would be the center of a conversation about what a good waiter I was. But, as I became better and better at the mechanics of being a professional waiter, I had less and less opportunity to use my people skills simply because there were no longer any mishaps to smooth over. I had become invisible. I had become a very effective waiter, but an equally ineffective source of income. First identifying the problem, I set out to solve it. I had to regain the attention of the customer. I began by intentionally creating a very small mishap and then handling it. The following was my favorite ploy. When quietly serving coffee after dinner, I would intentionally not bring the cream to a particular guest whom I knew quite well preferred it.
After having poured the coffee from the silver service, I would suddenly, yet in a quite gentlemanly manner, politely interrupt the table while offering an apology for neglecting to bring the lady her cream. I would assure them that I would, of course, remedy this bit of negligence on my part immediately! After quickly returning to the table, I was once again hearing conversations about what a simply marvelous waiter I was! Just as I had initially projected, my gratuities not only returned to their old stature, but also surpassed them several times over. Let’s add further insight to the above story. Understand that had I waited too long to mention the lack of cream, and it was the customer who had to mention it to me, at that point, my efforts to provide a nice experience for my guests could have been for naught. Now then, let’s not be silly about this! Please don’t go to extremes in dreaming up nonsensical scenarios justified with a belief that it makes sense to somehow stumble through life by purposely making mistakes and then scrambling like heck to resolve them! Puuuullllleeeeeease.
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But, when isolated honest mistakes do occur, it is often true that you can come out better by handling a potentially bad situation particularly well than if the situation had never even happened to start with.
These are the same people who never really understand why others around them with equal or only slightly better skills seem to rocket past them towards greater success. (That is when you hear them muttering to themselves, “Aw, they just got lucky!”)
The message is this: First, you have to get their attention and then you have got to be on top of any situation in order to best position yourself for success. “Phonies” talk big about who they are and all the wonderful things they can do. This behavior is contrary to the confident leader who moves steadily and speaks in quiet tones. Never fall prey to the phony idea that the best method to promote yourself is by “tooting your own horn” and making unfounded promises about the quality of your work. Style is one thing. Substance is everything.
If you refuse to play the game you automatically lose the game. Those individuals, who appreciate the fact that they must not only look good, but also be good, are the same ones who will soon be courting success in this big beautiful world. Those who refuse to play the game by rationalizing, “Phooey! I’m not going to play games with anyone by working on some silly old image. I know who I am and what I can do, and that is enough for me. I don’t have to play games or prove anything to anybody but myself!”
Sadly, quality alone is not enough. Happily, marketing and advertising alone are not enough. Long-range success must combine the two ingredients, with the emphasis on quality.
Successful people are not those who have no problems. They are people who handle problems well. Handling problems is where top performers rise to the top. A true quality performer is one who has the focused insight to recognize potential problem areas in their early stages of development, and then takes the appropriate action to solve problems BEFORE they happen! (9) Problems are really only opportunities incognito.
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Marketing strategies for YOU? The basics:
Always do your best to look your best.
Practice speaking in clear and precise terms.
Make a habit of standing erect, yet relaxed.
Walk like you have a destination in mind.
Be direct and open in dealing with others.
Respect the opinions and feelings of others.
Be a “doer” and don’t just talk a good game.
Appropriately compliment those around you.
Embrace that honesty is, indeed, the best policy.
Above all, when all “marketing” is said and done: Don’t Ever Forget The Value Of Hard Work! (10) During the course of this book you will note some points are repeated to emphasize the importance of key concepts that you will want to have locked in your mind. So, get ready for this one!
Do not ever forget the value of hard work! Let me share with you a few personal experiences that vividly illustrate this all-important concept. My first management job was with a major hotel chain based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The property where I was employed was located in Lincoln, Nebraska. My position was
that of Restaurant Manager and my responsibilities included the supervision of three very different and distinct food and beverage outlets in a nine-story hotel. Approximately 60 employees were in my jurisdiction and I reported directly to the Food and Beverage Director of the hotel and indirectly to the property General Manager. (Not bad for a college age kid!) My normal workday was from 5 p.m. to approximately 1 a.m. I mention the number of employees I was responsible for and the size of the hotel only to emphasize that there was really a lot of work to do, especially for a young man striving to do his best to excel. There were times when I knew that I was in over my head and that only through determination and hard work was I going to succeed and achieve the goals I desired. Believe me, I had my hands full! And, even though I was doing quite well and working very hard at it, I knew that this was not enough. I sensed that if I were to develop only my restaurant management skills, but do nothing more, rather than becoming one of the best restaurant managers at an early age, as the years passed, I would become and remain an adequate restaurant manager at an older age. I knew that I had to do more; I knew that I had to draw attention to myself in a positive way.
Hard work will not kill you and can be one of your greatest calling cards, separating you from the great many also-rans.
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In order to positively gain attention, and to expose myself to the opportunity of learning new and different skills, I made a point of coming to work at 2 p.m. or 3 p.m. rather than the expected 5 p.m. I also made a point of being available around the hotel until 2 or 3 a.m. I spent those extra hours on the job for a very specific reason. During my normal shift, my time was completely taken up by those duties that directly related to my current position. I was, therefore, limiting my ability to learn and grow. But, by simply being at the hotel and “marketing” my availability and the quality of my work, I was able to help out in other departments and learn new skills. I was soon gathering tidbits about how to operate the front desk of a hotel. I learned about the operation of a centralized storeroom. I became familiar with the basics of forecasting and budgeting. I was exposed to a great deal of useful, and marketable, skills that I would never have had the opportunity to learn had I been content to do only the job asked of me. Things would come up at the hotel and fall my direction. The word was, “Talk to Michael about that. After all, he is available and willing to help!” Obviously, in order to be marketable, you must have some set of skills or services that are ready for the market place. After skills and services have been accumulated to a high degree, you will find that the actual hours spent working may decline. This is not to suggest that contentment and lack of motivation have set in. Far from it. It is simply an indication that, as a result of hard work, you have positioned yourself to start working smarter and smarter rather than continually harder and harder.
The very best way to learn new skills is through hard work. There are, of course, those people who scoff at others for working so hard since they themselves feel it necessary to do only enough to get by without drawing any attention. The high points of their work days are break time, lunch time, and quitting time. They foolishly mock those who begin to move ahead by making trivial rationalizations like, “Poohpooh. They were just lucky.” Remember, and remember it well:
THE HARDER YOU WORK THE LUCKIER YOU GET! A few years later I had a similar experience as my career path began to take shape. I happened to notice in the want ads that there was a need for an experienced person to prepare the weekly payroll and quarterly tax reports for the business where I was then employed. I was only one of about 120 employees and knew nothing about payroll preparation or tax reports. I also knew that if I did not concern myself with anything other than accomplishing the work I was directly responsible
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for at that time, I never would learn these skills that could better prepare me for career success.
I’d like to share with you an excerpt from a quote by Bob Burdette that is included in a wonderful collection called Elbert Hubbard’s Scrap Book:
So, I contacted the general manager of the facility, secured an appointment and after a minute or so of obligatory casual talk, told him that I wanted to talk about the ad I had seen in the newspaper. He seemed pleased and asked if I knew of someone I could recommend to fill the position. I told him as a matter of fact I did — ME! I quickly and honestly admitted that I had no skills that qualified me for the job other than my desire to learn and my willingness to work hard. I further explained that I would be happy to do the job with no increase in salary and that in no way would I allow this added responsibility to affect the performance of my other duties that I greatly enjoyed. I made it very clear that I would consider the opportunity to learn as my total compensation for doing the work. The only real “cost” would be that my proposition would require the company to invest the time to teach me the needed skills to do the job. It was a “WIN-WIN” situation. The company won by filling a need to have the payroll and taxes done. I won due to the fact that I created the opportunity to develop new skills, very marketable skills! I soon found myself preparing weekly payroll and quarterly tax reports!
Let’s put work in our vocabulary!
“Remember you have to work.” Whether you handle pick or wheelbarrow or a set of books, digging ditches or editing a newspaper, ringing an auction bell or writing funny things, you must work. Don’t be afraid of killing yourself. Men die sometimes, but it is because they quit work at 9 p.m. and don’t go home until 2 a.m. It’s the intervals that kill you. Work gives you appetite for your meals; it lends solidity to your slumber and gives you perfect appreciation for a holiday. (11) So, find out what you want to be and do, take off your coat and make dust in the world. The busier you are, the less harm you are apt to get into, the sweeter will be your sleep, the brighter your holidays, and the better satisfied the whole world will be with you.
POINT (7)
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FOOTNOTES
Good Stuff In / Evil Out: A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. Matthew 12:35
(8)
No Other Substitute: Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
(9)
How To Solve Problems:
(10)
Let’s Get To Work: For we are God’s handiwork, created in
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10
Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
(11)
Don’t Be Idle: For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 2 Thessalonians 3:10-11
Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour, or is the train going sixty miles an hour, and you’re just sitting still? J. Paul Getty American Industrialist
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Point Number
luck Is A Four Letter Word A Word Oftentimes Used To Describe The Success Of Others.
The growth of any successful business requires a strategy. The same applies to human beings. Your personal growth, your ability to love and be a well-rounded person requires a strategy that cannot be left to chance. (12) In taking a hard look at those who have achieved the greatest degree of career success, you will find that there are two sources of fuel that they draw upon to move ahead in reaching their goals:
Lucky is a name for dogs. Dog-gone-it! “Luck is the residue of design.” Branch Rickey, Baseball Owner
1. Formal education. (The more the better.)
2. Practical experience. (The more the better.)
Ideally, they have both. However, neither of these, singularly or collectively, can guarantee anyone success. Oh, make no mistake about it, these two assets do indeed make the going a bit easier, but without THE WILLINGNESS TO WORK HARD success will prove to be an idle daydream, forever just out of reach.
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Keep in mind that real success is a journey, not a destination. Without hard work, which means ACTION, life can seem more like a mindless path through a dangerous jungle, rather than an adventurous journey with opportunities abounding. (13)
phrases like, “Oh, he was just lucky.” or “She was just in the right place at the right time”. We know better.
Almost all success is based on a well-thought-out plan — followed by hard work.
It is difficult for many people to face their own lack of success and then make a commitment to setting some solid goals when they “know” that this means there will be some hard work ahead of them.
The word “work” in this context is a misnomer. Remember that if you become involved with a lifelong career in a field that you really love, you will never have to “work” another day in your life!
People who are so quick to point out that the success of others is simply the result of good luck are then quickly able to rationalize that their own shortcomings are the result of their own bad luck.
It is indeed possible for you to begin with neither a strong educational background or experience in any particular field, and still be able to rise to great heights simply because you are willing to work hard.
When all is said and done there may just be no such thing as luck in the sense that most people have to come to think of it. There is a cause and effect for everything. You “cause” your own “effects” in life by the choices and decisions that you have the opportunity to make freely every day.
Legal immigrants to the United States, arriving with little more than the clothes on their backs, founded some of the most successful companies in the world. Even though they initially didn’t speak English, they did not allow it to be a roadblock for them. It served only as motivation for them to work even harder to learn the language and to reach their goals for success. Everyone knows, deep in their heart, that the common denominator behind the success of others is their commitment to achieving and working hard. Yet we have a tendency to use
You cannot depend upon luck – rather, your luck depends on you! While presenting a seminar discussing the myth of luck, an individual voiced his opinion that it was just bad luck that the Chicago Bears lost a game (To the Miami Dolphins) during
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the regular season in the year they won the Super Bowl in 1985. That was the year of “Dah Bears.”
Was it UNLUCKY for the Bears that the ball did not fall harmlessly to the ground? No.
He pointed out several “quirk” plays that resulted in things going in Miami’s favor, and was very emphatic about one “LUCKY” play in particular that fell the Dolphin’s way.
And once his hands were on the ball, he held on to it. Was it LUCK that he did not drop the ball? No. The player has trained long and hard catching and holding onto a football.
It seems a pass was deflected off of the helmet of a rushing Bear defender only to fall into the hands of a Miami player, who in turn, scored.
And once the deflected ball was brought under control, he didn’t turn and run towards the wrong goal. Do we then refer to just how LUCKY he was that this did not happen? No. Was it UNLUCKY for the Bears that he did not run in the wrong direction and score a touchdown for them? Yet again, a clear no.
I suggested that we replay that sequence of events in super slow motion in our own minds to see how lucky Miami really was.
And as he began to run, he did not trip over his own feet. Do we then proclaim that this was a bit of UNLUCKY fate for the Bears and nothing more than good LUCK for Miami? Still the answer is, no. An athlete practices hours upon hours the various agility drills to be prepared for moments just like this.
What started the play was a pass being deflected by a rushing defender. Do we say it was LUCK that this happened? No. There was no luck involved here. The lineman is a highly trained professional with experience in doing just that, breaking up pass plays. Could we say that Chicago was UNLUCKY that this happened to them? No. The rushing lineman simply outperformed the individual who was attempting to fend off the pass rush. Once the ball was deflected and fluttering in the air, the Miami player was not looking at the scoreboard or his girlfriend in the 5th row. He had his eyes right on the ball. Do we say it was LUCKY for him that he saw the ball? No. Being a highly trained professional he makes it a point of knowing where the ball is at all times. He was prepared at the right time.
The bottom line is that there was no luck involved here, good or bad, but just the simple fact that on that particular day the Miami Dolphins out performed the Chicago Bears. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The plain truth is that while you cannot always control everything and everyone around you, you can control your reactions and responses to each thing as it occurs.
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I’ll never forget the story about the 7th son of the 7th son. Myth has it that to be the 7th son of the 7th son is VERY LUCKY. Well, one day he awoke and looked at the clock. It was 7:00 a.m. He then looked out of his bedroom window to see, sitting on the telephone wire, 7 robins. When he picked up the morning newspaper he noticed that it was the 7th day of the 7th month. His pulse quickened as he, too, had heard the story of how the 7th son of the 7th son was destined for great luck. He felt that these must surely be signs that this was his lucky day! He turned to the 7th page of the paper and there in the 7th column was his horoscope, which confirmed that this was indeed his lucky day. He ran out to his car and jumped in. He drove straight to the bank, withdrew all of his money and then sped off headed for the racetrack. When he got there the 7th race was about to begin. To his horror all of the betting windows were busy, except for the 7th one! He ran and emptied all of his pockets and to his amazement there was exactly $7,777.77. He placed all of his money on horse number 7, which as fate would have it, was named Seventh Son. THIS WAS IT! OBVIOUSLY THE BIG ONE! After placing his bet he hurried to trackside only to find there were no seats. But wait! Intuition told him to go to aisle 7, 7th row, 7th seat. Sure enough, there was a seat waiting for him. Lady Luck was with him tonight! And, a lady never leaves her escort. Stick with me baby, I’m the guy that you came in with! Luck be a lady tonight! He couldn’t believe his good fortune.
Off they went! He clutched his racing form, his heart pounding, and as they made the turn and headed into the final stretch, he saw his horse, Seventh Son, cross the finish line in, you guessed it — seventh place!
It is a fact of life that if you leave the achievement of your dreams to chance — be they financial, health, spiritual, or family — they will indeed remain nothing more than idle daydreams and never serious goals at all.
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We have all seen various business graphs that put into picture form various bits of information such as: timelines, quotas, sales, projections, volumes, etc..
Now imagine a line starting in the middle of the left hand side that meanders from highs to lows as it makes its way to the far right. This line represents the multitudes of various OPPORTUNITIES available to you during your lifetime.
But, the graph I want you to picture in your mind is different as it will illustrate the fact that there is no such thing as luck. On the bottom of our graph, imagine the title PREPARATION and on the side of our graph, the title OPPORTUNITIES.
Notice how the opportunities are sometimes greater than others, but they key thing to appreciate is that THERE ARE ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES. They never just fall right off the graph and cease to exist. It is a fact that no matter how bad things may seem, they are looking GREAT for a few others out there. Why not you? Keep in mind that some of the largest and most successful businesses were founded not when the economy was booming, but in times of depression. Opportunities are a constant. Opportunities are a given. The only variable is our perception and our readiness to meet the challenge. (14) Now add a second line in your mind to the graph that begins near the bottom left hand corner. This line represents your degree of PREPARATION to successfully address and meet opportunities in your lifetime. This may come in the form of an education in a particular field. It can also come from your slowly gaining a great deal of experience in that field.
There are always opportunities out there! But, you must be prepared in order to meet them!
It may result from nothing more than plain old elbow grease. Any combination of the above, tempered with a love of life and the challenges it presents, will allow your level of preparation on the graph to rise and fall as you progress through life. With hard work, it rises consistently higher & higher as it moves across the graph of your lifetime.
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The desire to win is important — but the willingness to prepare is mandatory.
environment. Animals or all sorts: dogs, giraffes, alligators, cows, gnats and elephants are all good examples of the various forms of life that are indeed creatures of their own environment. BUT — are we mice or are we men? If it gets cold, we build a fire, or a complete heating system.
Now suppose that these two lines (Opportunity and Preparation) never cross. Should you scoff at this and write it off as merely an example of bad luck? No. It simply illustrates a lack of preparation. (15) If, on the other hand, after a great deal of preparation there should be times in your life that those two lines (opportunity and preparation) do meet — would others shrug it off by saying that you were just lucky? Perhaps. Was it just luck to be in the right place at the right time? Not a chance. (16) And, even if someone were simply to be at “the right place at the right time” it would be of no significance, to the “wrong” person. You must be prepared to be the right person in order to take advantage of time and space!
It is a simple matter of seeing an opportunity and being prepared to do something about it. There are those who may feel that they are simply victims of circumstance here on this planet during their lifetime. Or that man is nothing more than yet another creature of their
If we have to move from one place to another a little faster, we build bicycles, then cars, then high speed rail systems. If that isn’t fast enough, we build single prop airplanes. Then jets. Then rockets. And then, who knows? (Yet!)
But we human beings — as God created us — are different. We have not only the ability, but also the responsibility to create our own environment. If we run out of ground to build upon, no problem, we simply build skyscrapers that tower hundreds of feet into the air. And on and on and on it goes throughout the history of mankind. See a need? Fill that need. Although we humans are NOT simply creatures of our environment it is true that we are indeed creatures of habit. Dr. Denis Waitley refers to habits as “flimsy cobwebs” that start only as a notion. But with continued practice, they can develop either as thick ropes that serve to shackle our lives or strong cables, which support the growth of a productive and happy person.
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We must take the responsibility to chose positive habits that shape and mold our lives toward the achievement of our goals. Be certain that the habits you develop are those that serve to strengthen your life and not burden it. (17) Creatures of our environment? No way. Creatures of habit? Absolutely! Make sure yours are good ones! We can pick those habits that we want to build our spiritual life, our personal life, our business life — Have you ever noticed that when someone wins Bazillion of dollars in a lottery he is looked upon as some sort of media hero appearing on all the morning talk shows? Conversely, have you also noticed that there is a tendency for some to seemingly resent and distrust another individual who, rather than winning his fortune, established his own business, worked hard, and after a time made it a success? Very strange, isn’t it? On one hand we have someone who has fell into bucket of cash as a direct result of dumb luck, and he is called a hero. On the other hand, we have a person who, despite his years of hard work, is thought to be “just lucky” and is looked upon as less of a hero than the fellow who wins the lottery. Why is that?
The answer lies in the fact that all underachievers know in their hearts that they have chosen to remain at the level they are and when they see another who may very well have begun at even a level lower than they but have achieved great things, well, it hurts. They know they are capable of accomplishing much, but they are unwilling to put forth the effort required to make it a reality for them. Funny how the world turns not only on its axis, but its heels as well! The world seems to idolize every move of extraordinary athletes when it seems they have command over every aspect of their sport. Yet, just as soon as their athletic skills begin to falter, the world becomes full of critics looking to smugly comment about how maybe they really may not have been all that good after all. Regardless, the world turns. The world seems to hang on every move of a hugely successful businessman when he seems to turn to gold all he touches. Yet, just as soon as a perceived miscalculation is sniffed, the world becomes full of critics looking to smugly comment about how he was a crook all along. Regardless, the world turns. The world out there is on shaky ground. So, build your world on unshakable character, integrity, and hard work. It may seem easier to buy a lottery ticket and dream than to actively establish and pursue your goals.
Remember, the harder you work, the luckier you become!
POINT (12)
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POINT
FOOTNOTES
Why Chance It: The Lord himself goes before you and will be
(15)
(14)
Stay On The Right Path:
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11
Better Be Prepared: Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:11-17
Sinking Sand: But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Luke 6:49
with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
(13)
FOOTNOTES
(16)
On Solid Rock I Stand: As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. Luke 6:47-48
(17)
Fools Have Bad Habits: As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. Proverbs 26:11
If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles do not have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. Michael Jordan By acclamation, the greatest basketball player of all time
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Point Number
You’ll Never Get There If You Don’t Know Where You’re Going Hazy Goals Produce Hazy Results.
It’s pretty tough to ascertain if you have arrived, if you are never really sure just exactly where you are going to start with. Some people seem to view their journey through life just as a speeding motorist does his narrow escapes that are complimented by sudden jerky stops and jackrabbit starts.
The difference between success and failure is not a lack of strength or knowledge...but a lack of will. Vincent T. Lombardi
It’s similar to heading off at the speed of light in the wrong direction, and then rationalizing, “Oh, big deal, so what if I don’t know where I am going? Just look at the great time I’m making!” With the multitude of options, choices, and alternatives we all face, one thing stands unblemished through time: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANYONE TO ACHIEVE ANY GOALS IF THEY HAVE NOT ESTABLISHED ANY.
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Keeping this in mind, it is not difficult to realize that our first and most important goal is to acknowledge that in order to ACHIEVE, we must first PERCEIVE the need for meaningful goals in life. Next is learning how to establish them. (18)
It has happened to all of us where at some given point in time our all-out, best effort was simply not enough. But, if you are motivated to do your best at all times, you will, as a consequence, expose yourself to potential set-backs. Get over it!
If time can be defined as that intangible force that keeps everything from happening all at once, then goals are the incremental milestones that give meaning and measure to the time of your life.
Those who feel they are not strong enough to face adversity simply avoid it by refusing to set goals which require effort on their part. They rationalize their short-comings with such weak offerings as: “Oh, I could have done better if I had really felt like trying”, or “I could have if I really wanted to.”
Goals give us milestones by which we can measure our progress. The greatest goal is to live a life that is pleasing to God (19) — where you submit your life to Him in order that He may use YOU to do His work in being of service to OTHERS! Many people seem quite content to drift aimlessly through life with no real sense of direction or apparent desired destination in mind. It is no small wonder that these very same individuals lack a sense of accomplishment and achievement in their lives. SETTING GOALS IS SOMETHING THAT TAKES COURAGE. While established goals lend themselves towards a sense of direction and purpose, they can also, at times, demonstrate how inadequate you may be at any given time to achieve a particular goal, and that hurts. So, rather than stand the chance of failure, some people opt to simply not set any goals.
While everyone understands the advantage of setting goals, many unfortunately lack the courage to do so. A person without goals is like a ship without a compass. No matter how powerful the engines and capable the deck hands, it is worthless if there is no sense of direction by which to chart it’s course towards a final destination. (20) While hard work is an essential ingredient, hard work alone is not enough unless we first define in clear and precise terms what it is that we are working so hard to accomplish. We need to chart a course. Going through life without the courage to establish goals fosters the same results as telling a torpedo to, “Go out and sink a ship.” Or why not tell a pigeon to, “Go out and deliver this to some guy named Fred”. Hazy goals, produce at the very best, hazy results. At some point in your life, there should come a time when you ask yourself, “How am I doing?”
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It is a very difficult question to answer if there are no milestones by which to gauge your position. There is no logical way to appraise performance without considering the goals of the performance to start with.
Soon you hear a deafening roar. The curtain falls and there you are all alone on an empty stage. But, what happened?
Goals serve as cues by which we will know when and how to act. We need you understand WHAT needs to be done and HOW to do it — but we must also have the courage to take the necessary steps that enable us to move systematically toward a desired result. Pretend you’ve just been given the lead role in a play and after looking over the script a few times and dressing up in a fancy costume; you think you are ready to “open” the show. After all, there is nothing to it. Just go out there and “act”. Stars like you don’t need direction. Forget the rehearsals; let’s just get on with the show! (21) So, you strut out onto the stage. All at once the lights are on you and they blind you. You can’t remember your lines and you are not sure where you should move, let alone why you should move there. Your palms begin to sweat and you begin to worry about your reviews. You start to busy yourself with trifles, smoke a cigarette, chat with bit players, and strike a few of what you think surely must be glamorous poses. (22)
How can the play be over? What’s the deal? You didn’t even get a chance to act! It wasn’t at all the way you thought it would be or how things were supposed to play out. (23) The truth is, the play did begin, and end. You were not even aware of it. Let’s face it, you’ll play no meaningful role in life if you haven’t thoroughly studied your script and learned your “characters motivation”. With no established goals to offer you positive motivation, slowly, but with deadly accuracy, you are going nowhere fast. It should be abundantly clear that having the courage to set goals is that imperative first step necessary to take your proper position on the stage of life. And, with your self-authored copy of the script of your life story in hand, you will step up onto the stage, never miss a cue, and offer the performance of a lifetime featuring your personal, very best efforts.
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It is time now to ask of yourself a few important questions.
Are you really in the driver’s seat of your life, with a firm destination in mind? Or, are you merely an unwilling passenger with intermittent locked brakes and a stuck accelerator? (24) Is your ship headed towards the appointed port with you at the helm? Or, are you drifting aimlessly at sea, taking on water while coming dangerously close to the rocks? (25)
Do you really have a purpose for getting up each morning? Or, truth be known, would you really prefer staying in bed with pay? (26)
Are you able to look back at your PAST and divide the various stages of your life into segments of accomplishments? Or, are the segments only set apart by birthdays or yet another crisis? (27)
Are you able to look at yourself in the PRESENT and feel good about yourself right now? Or, do you only see “what should have been” in the past or “what might happen” in an uncertain future? (28)
Are you able to look at the FUTURE with optimism and a sense of challenge? Or, just some sort of social obligation that you don’t really want to attend, but feel you must? (29)
For right now, the PRESENT, let us only think about the fact that in order to have any semblance of purpose and direction in life, we need to take the time to establish a few productive and meaningful goals. Go ahead, right now. Sit down with pen and paper, or tap out on your keyboard and put down in print 10 goals that you would really like to achieve and are willing to work hard towards. Think of ten things that would put a smile on your face as well as those people in your life that you care about the very most. Think of ten things, that if you believed success were guaranteed and where you simply could not fail, you couldn’t wait to get out of bed each morning to begin working towards. Who needs an alarm clock with an exciting day to look forward to every morning!
POINT (18)
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FOOTNOTES
Best Trust In God: I will lead the blind by ways they have
(25)
Only One Perspective Matters: What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Luke 9:25
(20)
Strength For The Storms of Life: Then Jesus got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:23-26
not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16
(19)
FOOTNOTES
(26)
Let’s Get Going: Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth. Proverbs 10:4
(27)
In The Past: In the past God spoke to our ancestors through
A Sense Of Direction: He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Psalm 23:3
(21)
Better Listen To The Director:
(22)
Check Your Ego: In his pride the wicked man does not seek
the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. Hebrews 1:1-3
The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. Proverbs 12:15
him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Psalm 10:4
(28) (24)
Get Off The Bumpy Road: Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules. Colossians 2:20
Today’s Marching Orders: These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Deuteronomy 6:6
POINT (29)
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FOOTNOTES
For All Eternity Past, Present & Future: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Douglas Adams Incredibly creative English writer
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Point Number
The Only Complete Mistake Is One From Which We Learn Nothing Strive For Excellence, Not Perfection.
In the heat of the battle, with the “bombs bursting in air”; when all of a sudden you fully realize that you have just committed a major faux pas, you must develop the ability to laugh at yourself. That’s right. Just when that seems like the last thing that is appropriate, if you can learn to laugh at yourself, and regroup, the ability to make more accurate decisions under pressure will soon be yours. (30)
TAKING A CALLED THIRD STRIKE: In order to learn from your mistakes you have got to make some.
You’ve got to learn to look at yourself in the mirror and say with a bit of a grin, “Whew, did I ever drop the ball on that one!” But, after having “faced the music”, you can then get right back to the task at hand, reassess your situation,
Take your work seriously. Take your goals seriously. But never take yourself too seriously.
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and proceed accordingly, armed with the knowledge and experience you have gained. Openly acknowledge that you are quite aware that this was not your only, nor will it be your last error in judgment. Let’s fact it, the only people who never make mistakes are the very ones who never do anything to start with because they fear even the thought of making a mistake, which is the biggest mistake of all. As you proceed, you will learn not to repeat the same miscalculation a second time. Always allow yourself the permission to make a few honest mistakes. Remember, if you do not try something for fear of making a blunder, you automatically get the very same result as if you had tried and failed. But, in not trying, you have forfeited all of the experience and knowledge that could have been used to enhance your performance in the future. I remember a basketball player who took great pride in having the fewest number of fouls called on him during every game. Until the coach informed him that if you didn’t get a few fouls called on you, you weren’t giving the game your all. (31)
Life is not a spectator sport! It is far better to try to do something and fail than to do nothing and succeed. We are only human and in the course of performing any task with intensity it only follows that we are going to make our share of honest mistakes. I call them, “errors of enthusiasm.” These are oftentimes valuable lessons. Just don’t repeat them needlessly. I suppose that the fellow who rationalizes that he probably won’t make the team, so then chooses not to try out at all, would be secure in knowing that the referee would never stop the game, blow the whistle, point at him in the stands and explain that the guy in the 32nd row, aisle 3, seat 9 had just committed a foul! No way. Instead, he takes the safest route to avoid being singled out for making an error and simply refuses to ever give anything his all out best effort. One home run does not a season make, and neither does taking an occasional called third strike. You must begin to look at your performance in just the same way you look at a batting average. You have got to learn to “hit for average” and not be overly concerned about either an occasional hot streak or a minor slump now and then. A .300 hitter in baseball is considered to be a superior performer, yet, in reality, you could say that he “fails” in 7 out of every 10 attempts to reach his goal of getting a hit.
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It is obvious from this example that there is a TREMENDOUS difference between being perfect and being highly competent. Those who demand perfection are in store for imperfection. The only thing they will be perfect at is being perfectly wrong! While it is a healthy goal to eliminate as many mistakes as possible, it is also healthy to increase your opportunities of making mistakes. This translated into being highly active. Get in the game! Face it; you can’t strike out if you are sitting on the bench. But then, you do not have the opportunity to get a hit either. And, if you did strike out, you would hopefully learn from that experience and come back the next time better prepared than ever before to hit that homerun. The difference between an “also ran” and a true achiever is dramatic in professional baseball. The player who gets 3 hits out of 12 attempts might spend their entire career in the Minors. Yet the player who consistently manages to get only one more hit per 12 attempts is likely to make the Majors and be compensated 100 times what the other is. Simple math shows that the second player is not playing 100 times better than the first, but the difference between a true champion and just another player is ever so small, yet looms so large.
Way back in 1973 on the PGA tour, Jack Nicklaus was the top money winner with just over $300,000. In that same year Arnold Palmer won just under $90,000. You may be surprised to learn that the difference in average strokes per game that year was only 1.5. Jack averaged 69.81 strokes per round. Arnold averaged 71.3. Yet, this small variance amounted to over $210,000 for Jack Nicklaus. (Factor in inflation & yell, “Fore!”) Tiger Woods was playing some of his best golf in 2007. Through the PGA Championship, he averaged 68.04 strokes per game. This effort resulted in tournament winnings alone of $7.8 Million. Ernie Els had the next best scoring average and was only 1.04 strokes off, yet he did not even make it into the top 5 money-winners.
The difference between winners and losers often has little to do with potential. It has everything to do with desire and hard work.
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A horse can win a race by “a nose”. A boxer can win a fight with just 1 punch. The difference between major and minor leaguers is only about 3 hits per week. Football can be won when the wide receiver beats his man by just half a step, just one time.
Remember, you will not always hit a home run. You may go days without even a bloop single. And, you may even experience a dreaded called third strike every now and then.
A little difference is ALL the difference. It is the little things that matter in striving to improve your performance, like particles of sand compressed into a massive rock.
Make it a goal to develop the ability to look at others —yourself as well — not in the shadow of mistakes & failures, but rather in the light of honest attempts and successes. There can be no failure when an all out effort is made, and anyone who claims to have never made a mistake has missed so very many opportunities to learn from them. Develop the ability to PRAISE the performer while still being able to honestly APPRAISE the performance. A straightforward, honest self performance appraisal may be less than desired, but this does not necessarily mean that you, as an individual performer is undesirable. You may very well be a budding superstar just getting your feet wet before launching away from the pack. Bring it on!
But, never lose sight of the fact that these minor deviations serve as an ever-growing pool of experience from which you will draw to further enhance your performance every step of the way. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL — AND IT’S A WHOLE NEW GAME!
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FOOTNOTES
(30)
Lead With Humility:
(31)
Live With Passion: God knows your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. Revelation 3:15-16
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities. Dr. Seuss American writer, poet and cartoonist
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Point Number
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL Concentrate On Your Goals — Not The Problems That Separate You From Them.
“WINNERS & LOSERS” The Winner, is always part of the answer. The Loser, always part of the problem. The Winner, always has a program. The Loser, always has an excuse. The Winner says, “I can handle that.” The Loser says, “That’s not my job.”
Just because the tide is out, doesn’t mean that there is less water in the ocean. Seth Godin, Author of 13 bestselling books
The Winner, sees an answer for every problem. The Loser, sees a problem with every answer. The Winner, sees a green near the sand trap. The Loser, sees traps near every green. The Winner, sees possibilities. The Loser, sees difficulties.
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not let yourself be preoccupied by obstacles that impede your progress. Keep your concentration on the matters at hand. (32) It is very easy to dwell unnecessarily on the “negative of a positive” idea. If you allow yourself to do this, all of your energy will be channeled toward achieving the exact opposite of what you had in mind to start with. A graphic example is a story of Elston Howard of the New York Yankees. Against the Milwaukee Braves in the 1957 World Series, he belted a 3-run homer off Warren Spahn with two outs in the ninth inning of Game 4. Howard was a power-hitting catcher who became adept at sending errantly pitched balls long and deep into the bleachers. Many an outfielder simply joined the crowd, following the path of the ball as it rapidly gained velocity and found its way out of the ballpark. The scouting “book” on Howard was that you NEVER gave him a pitch that was anywhere near the upper portion of the plate or he would “take it downtown”, to portions of the ballpark reserved for ticket paying fans in the cheap seats, just to the left of dead centerfield.
It is only human for us to occasionally lose sight of our goals when vision is blurred and our path obscured by the debris that we imagine stands between our goals and us.
But Warren Spahn knew all that. He also knew exactly where his next pitch was to be located. His mind was focused on hitting the lower outside corner of the plate to get that third strike or, at worst, a routine ground ball to end the game and secure the victory.
Remember, that the majority of your goals should be just out of reach, NEVER out of sight! In order for you to keep moving in a positive direction toward your goals, you must
He finished his stretch, stood silent as he concentrated on his goal, and visualized hitting that lower outside corner. Just catching that corner.
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His mind allowed no distraction and no part of his thought concerned any potential problems that might hinder him from pitching the ball exactly where necessary to win the game for his team.
The positive idea was to make the pitch on the lower outside portion of the strike zone for a win; the negative of that positive was not to let that pitch sail high into the upper portion of the strike zone.
The pitcher’s “mind set” was locked in on this positive idea. (33) Just an instant before he began to make his move towards the plate, his eye caught his manager frantically motioning for time out. So, he stepped off of the pitching rubber, and turned to see just what it was that the manager had on his mind. The exchange went something like this: Manager: “Ah, you know what you gotta do now?” Spahn: “Yes, sir, and I’m going to do it!” As the manager began to move away, he turned back and added just one final thought for his pitcher, “Just be sure not to throw him anything up!” And off he went, back to the dugout, leaving his pitcher with a clear parting thought of WHAT NOT TO DO! Prior to the manager’s planting the seeds of doubt, Spahn’s full concentration was focused on the REWARDS OF ACHIEVEMENT that follow after accomplishing a positive goal. None of his thoughts were about the PENALITIES OF UNDERACHIEVEMENT that can be the result of concentrating on the negative of a positive idea.
Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen! Soon Spahn’s mind was clouded by thoughts of what not to do, rather than the task at hand. He began to concentrate on how NOT to throw high. Throughout our lives, we slowly become what we allow our minds to harbor on the most. (34) In this case, considering the concepts in this book about developing your ability to concentrate and focus on goals, you already know the story of Elston Howard on this particular day. His mind was clearly centered on his goal to drive the ball high and far. His thoughts were most likely something along these lines: “Just let the ball come even close to being up. I’m taking it out of the park. Even swing. Just a little uppercut. Concentrate. Watch. Turn. Explode. The ball is on the bat. Follow through. Home run. We win the game!” I would be willing to bet that at that same moment the thoughts of the pitcher closely mirrored Howard’s, but in reverse: “I can’t let the ball come close to being up because or he’ll take it out of the park! He’ll give it that powerful even
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swing of his with just that slight uppercut and I’ll be the dog for giving the game away right after the manager just told me what NOT to do.”
Okay, this is the moment that you use your new golfing tip. Just at the instant the backswing begins, ask in a quiet yet direct voice, “Do you breathe in or out at the top of your backswing?”
The inevitable came to be. It was a long drive. It might have been. It could have been. It was, yet another example of the fact that you cannot let yourself concentrate on the negative of a positive idea! (But, if you are a Yankee fan, you love this story!). Holy Cow! Hey!!! How about my giving you a little golfing tip that I personally guarantee will allow you to pick up at least one stroke on your opponent at any time during your round! Boy, what a gift! Here all along you thought that you were only going to learn about enhancing your performance in life and career and then, B-L-A-M! I throw in a golfing tip. (I know, I know, finally, something you can use in real life!) First, let’s pinpoint when it would be of the greatest benefit to you to actually use this tip. Let us suppose that you are enjoying a very competitive round with a fellow achiever. Someone who wants to do their best. This is a person who, just like you, fully understands the value of keeping his concentration focused on the business at hand and is able to block out all negative thoughts. You know, the kind of guy who stands back behind his ball on the tee looking far down the fairway to the exact place where he wants the ball to land after hitting it “just so”. He stands motionless after having addressed the ball and his mind is already visualizing the desired trajectory and flight even before his backswing has begun.
He will probably stop and look at you as though you’ve just lost your mind and possibly reply, “Gee, I really don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.” With smug confidence, you then reply, “Oh, you will”. Nine times out of ten your partner’s mind will cease to concentrate on his drive, and concentrate instead on his breathing. You will then be able to outwardly observe the results of an inner metal lapse. Sounds simple? Try it. Watch out though, as the very same principle works in all facets of your life. Stay focused on what truly matters in your life and not the distractions the world wants to throw at you every day, night, and even during between meal snacks.
Your mind should serve as a compass continually focusing and monitoring your direction as you travel through the times of your life. Christopher Columbus is generally regarded in history as a real achiever. Yet, in reality, he did not achieve his primary goal, which was to find a shorter route to the Spice Islands.
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Here is a guy who did not know where he was going, where he was when he got there, and could not describe the place once he got back! Still, in the truest sense, Christopher Columbus did indeed accomplish a great deal. Real success stems from the way you face the challenge of your journey and not upon reaching your destination. (After all, the end of our journey through this life ultimately finds us six feet under!) Many of us feel that we have an idea of what we must not do in order to avoid failure, yet we don’t have a clue as to what it is we have to do in order to make our life a success. I would suggest that in your professional life you avoid having to continually handle negative people and personalities rather than positive goals and objectives. It is easy to waste entire days skirting important issues and, accomplishing little solely to avoid ruffling the feathers of one or two negative folks who never seem to have enough drama in their lives.
Remember “pigs law”: Don’t fight with pigs as you just get dirty and they love it! You can’t change the world, and every individual (Little Piggies as well!) has the right to approach his life from the perspective he chooses.
Don’t spend excessive time trying to make those who choose a negative frame of mind see things the way you do. (35) You cannot afford to put life on a back burner or let positive goals be just around the bend, out of sight. Many of us have been faced with the problem of not being able to make the decisions that stand to positively affect our lives. (36) Being unable to feel confidence in making decisions is really not the problem at all, but rather a symptom of the fact that your goals may not be as clearly defined in your own mind as you may think. As your goals and objectives become clearer you will notice that it becomes easier to make decisions.
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Once you have begun to realize that a worthwhile goal is within your reach, experience becomes your most valuable tool. You can then make more intelligent decisions based on that experience. Experience will tell you the difference between the things that contribute negatively or positively to achieving goals worth striving for.
Life is not just something that happens to you. There are no such things as victims, only volunteers. Your life is F-U-L-L of choices.
Always keep in mind the quality of what you allow yourself to focus on and to strive for. Strangely, at least on the surface, failure itself is NOT always our greatest enemy. Rather, it is allowing ourselves to succeed, but at the wrong things! (37) If the so-called “law of attraction” (That is where if you think about something long and hard enough, you will ultimately draw what your mind focuses on into your life.) really were true, why waste your lifetime focusing on perishable goals like cars, jewelry and houses? C’mon now, is that the best you can do? Is this the stuff that really defines you? Give yourself more credit than being defined by what you drive, the sparkle of your bling, or how many square feet you think you need. How about instead focusing on meaningful goals like: Being a better friend. Being a man or woman of integrity and character. Being a great spouse and parent. Being a quality employer. Being a quality employee. Seeking God’s will for your life! (38) These are the things that make a life worth living. Make the decision NOW to get rid of negative thoughts and embrace the positive. Start really thinking about things that truly matter. The important thing to remember is that: YOU MUST MAKE DECISIONS!
We all know in our hearts that a bad life is just as easy, or hard, to lead as a good one. The difference between the two all depends on the choices and decisions you make. Your decisions should be made with the knowledge that you are always headed in the direction of those positive goals you have set for yourself. Proper decisions keep us headed in the right direction. It makes little sense for us to take our eye off the ball, and going off at 90 mph in the wrong direction rationalizing, “So what, just look at the great time I’m making!” Years later you wind up wondering, “How did I ever get so far off course?” (39) Don’t be overly concerned about making a wrong decision. Frankly, there is almost always time left for you to learn from the experience, reverse your decision, and head off on the corrected course at “warp speed”.
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In the decision making process, remember there is a big difference between being “efficient” and being “effective”. Get the right things done, the right way!
ALWAYS!
Making the decision to dig a foundation for a new home with a soupspoon is effective. It will work. BUT, it isn’t very efficient. Right thing. Wrong way! Likewise, in business, deciding not to delegate critical tasks to subordinates is neither effective nor efficient, in addition to the fact that it doesn’t make very good sense. Making the decision to delegate ALL of the tasks and assuming no responsibility yourself, won’t work either.
Every decision is a small thread that impacts the whole fabric of your life. The “trick” is to look at every event of your life as a choice, but not as an isolated one. So, if you want to dig that foundation for a new house, go right ahead. But make the decision to operate a backhoe and not a soupspoon. Don’t become overly involved with the methods themselves, except those that will bring the desired results in the most efficient manner. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL and, who knows, that next pitch coming your way just might be right up in your strike zone, right down the middle of the plate! And, this time, you will be ready!
No Matter How You Look At It. From Top to Bottom or From Bottom to Top. From the Left or From the Right.
D W Y D W Y P Y W D Y W D Do What You Promised You Would Do
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FOOTNOTES
(32)
Positive Persistence:
(33)
Allow No Distractions.
Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. Isaiah 50:7
(34)
Thoughts & Attitudes: For the word of God is alive and
To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. Romans 2:7
active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
(35)
Don’t Get Bogged Down: If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. Matthew 10:14
(36)
How To Make Decisions With Confidence: You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:3-5
FOOTNOTES
(37)
Don’t Major In The Minors: What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Mark 8:36
(38)
What Really Matters: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6: 19-21
(39)
Don’t Drift Off Course: Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. Psalms 51:1-4
Clearly and compellingly spell out what is specifically unacceptable about being ‘here’. Then, build a buy – in with your team on how and why to get to ‘there’. Len Schlesinger President of Babson College
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Point Number
IT’S ALL IN YOUR MIND – Think! Think! Think! “Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear three: all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.” Edward Everett Hale An American author, historian and Unitarian clergyman. He was a child prodigy who exhibited extraordinary literary skills and at age thirteen was enrolled at Harvard University where he graduated second in his class.
Not a day goes by that you don’t hear a response along the lines, “You know, I’ve been thinking about that.”
You must be able to call an audible at the line of scrimage. Michael Crandal, A Certified Nice Guy who believes that if things aren’t changing, you’re not leading.
More times than not people spend a great deal of time simply reacting and offering “knee-jerk” responses to situations around us, and very little time really thinking about them and what our appropriate reactions should be. Every time I hear someone proudly proclaim that they have been thinking about something, my mind quickly braces itself to learn exactly what it is they feel they have been thinking about. And, if that sounds confusing, just stop for a minute — and think about it!
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Studies have shown that only:
3% of our waking life is spent really thinking,
12% is spend convincing ourselves that we are thinking, and a full
85% of the time is spent doing nothing more than following the “thinking” of others.
It has been proven time and again that there is quite often a direct link between our ability to think and our ability to achieve. In many instances: WE ARE WHAT WE THINK. If a good portion of our time is spent thinking about nothing, it shouldn’t be too difficult to observe no outer results from this inner process (or lack of). Thinking is that inner process that refuses to accept all things at face value and refuses to accept things as they may appear. Thinking is a practice that enables you not only to see things as they are now, but to also speculate on how they got that way and how they might be changed if subjected to different stimuli in the future. In order to grow, you MUST be able to think. And, the real beauty of this statement is that we all have the ability to think and, therefore, the ability to grow. (40) No one has a monopoly on the thinking process. And, when all is said and done our individual thoughts may be not only our most important possession, but also our only one.
Our earthly bodies will gradually deteriorate, all of our worldly possessions the same. Family and friends are not really ours. In our most somber moments when alone, surrounded by darkness and silence all we have is our thoughts. Take away all of the cosmetics and glitter, all any of us have that we can truly say is ours, is our thoughts. Just think of the consequences when we refuse to do our own thinking and allow the thinking of others or allow peer pressures in the world to shape our lives and ultimately our destiny. A well-known major college coach was asked what kind of qualities he looked for in potential champion athletes. His answer was so direct and to the point that it left no room at all for interpretation. The coach responded by stating that there are only three kinds of individuals to choose from and that two out of the three would never achieve any great deal of success. The two types of individuals whom he felt would never be achievers were:
1. Those who won’t do what they are told.
2. Those who will do nothing but.
In other words,
You must be able to think on your own! Granted, in order to learn and improve, you must pay attention to those with more experience and know-how than yourself.
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BUT, learned skills are of no real value if not tempered with some sound thinking about the proper timing, dose and purpose of the skills to start with.
This situation offers several options. #1) The play results in a situation less than desired. #2) Changes are made at the last second before the ball is snapped that alters their original strategy and instead take the ball around the left side towards the open field and hopefully the goal line!
In football there is a term, “calling an audible at the line” and it is a good illustration of the value of being able to think on your feet. In general, most football plays are designed to score a touchdown, or at least to contribute to that end. Before a play, the quarterback calls a huddle and at that time the entire team is given their assignment as to what appears to be the most advantageous plan of action at that time. The team then returns to the line of scrimmage and the quarterback readies himself to put the team and the plan into action. Let’s say that in the huddle it was deemed best to send the halfback with the ball around the right end. But now as the quarterback peers over at the defense he sees that the entire opposing team is lined up on that same side, just waiting in anticipation. Whoa! Even the best-laid plans can go astray!
Such a change of plan at the last second is “calling an audible at the line of scrimmage.” Once the quarterback sees that the original plan is no longer the best option, he makes a point of calling out an entire new set of signals to communicate three things to his teammates:
1. Our original plan, no matter how well thought out, is not going to work.
2. Seeing this and giving it some thought, I think that we should do something different.
3. This is what we are going to do instead to get the results we are working for.
It may sound simple, but having the ability to call an audible, THINKING ON YOUR FEET, can be one of the team’s greatest assets. “Broadway” Joe Namath led his New York Jets, to a Super Bowl Championship over the Baltimore Colts primarily by being able to think under pressure. Remember, no matter how well thought out your plans may seem, no matter that everyone on your team intends to do what needs to be done, no matter that everyone may have full intentions of loyally following orders, things will definitely NOT always go according to plan. That’s why they actually do play the game.
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You can be headed for real disaster if you refuse to think for yourself. There are those who feel a proper analogy cannot be made between your life on a daily basis and that of a meaningless football game. And it is the truth that your day to day life is much more meaningful and can, at times, be much rougher. (At least in football, they get to wear pads and helmets!) But, some of the same skills that prove to be assets in the world of sports can be just as valuable when applied in your own life. You must develop your ability to think. All of the answers will not be found in a company policy manual or book of game plans. They are found by your taking all of the available information, looking at where you are now, where you want to be, and then THINKING about how to get there. Obviously, thinking alone is not enough, as this must be followed by ACTION, but let’s go one step at a time. At no time do I want to encourage action before thinking! Quick action is sometimes mandatory, but first make sure that even quicker thinking precedes it. It helps to be quick on your feet but you need to be quick thinking on your feet as well!
And, while we are “thinking about thinking”, always make a point of thinking in terms of positive pay-offs, rather than negative penalties.
Think in terms of the rewards of achievement, rather than the penalties of non-achievement. In order for any kind of knowledge to be absorbed and applied, it must first be put through that strange process called thinking. Knowledge, if not applied, is no better than a total lack of knowledge. What you don’t know, can hurt you. What you do know, and don’t apply hurts as well. If not for the ability to think, man would still be in caves, shivering against the cold and drawing with sticks and rocks on the walls. Proving again, that knowledge is of no use if not applied. The degree of success you attain is a mirror of your ability to use knowledge and, if you are REALLY THINKING, can translate into your leadership ability to motivate others to put
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THEIR knowledge to work for all those around them! Let’s face it, you cannot do everything yourself. You will need the help of others. And you should feel an inner need to be of service and help to others as well.
You should be anxious to apply your knowledge to help and benefit others — even if helping them is sometimes of no direct benefit to you. Now think about that! And then develop the habit of being a doer, not just a thinker. A person who refuses to learn is no better off than the person who is incapable of doing so. A person who does not think about his actions is no better off than someone who is unable to control them. Thinking is even for the frugal since it costs nothing. (On the other hand — NOT thinking can be a very costly thing!) And, even so, many people actually feel that it is the hardest work of all, so they simply refuse to do it! We have all heard that it takes money to make money, but nothing could be further from the truth. (It takes money to make money is the slogan of those who need to rationalize their lack of it!)
It does not take money to make money. The countless individuals who have reached great financial heights coming from very meager beginnings substantiate this. Bounce around the Internet or read today’s newspaper and you will find that there are world leaders and people from every walk of life who have emerged from poverty and now serve as an inspiration and source of encouragement to the world.
You’ll never grow any bigger than the size of your ideas, and no one can stop you if your ideas are good enough. There are many great people who have achieved much with no money in their family background. Dispense with the silly notion that it takes money to make money. What it does take is ideas! And, ideas only come from those who are thinking. SHOW ME EVEN ONE SELF-MADE INDIVIDUAL WHO IS NOT A THINKER! (And I’ll then show you a Philosopher.) The difference between a masters degree in philosopy, and a large pizza, is that a pizza will feed a family of four. And, good ideas only come to those who think. Most of us don’t have money problems, only idea problems!
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THINK about the things that you see in your life. THINK about the situations around you and the world. THINK about the reality all around you and, then THINK. THINK. THINK. THINK about your ideas to:
It is much better to think about ways to enrich your life and those around you, and to fail occasionally, than to think about nothing, and succeed all the time.
Make things easier.
Make things better.
Make things worry free.
Make things understandable.
Make things more agreeable.
As you begin to think about the things around you, you will find that the ideas will begin to come. And, many situations that you thought were out of control will now have, not one, but several solutions to them that may put them very much in control.
Really great ideas are impossible. That is what makes them such great ideas to start with! Get the idea? Do not be discouraged when others tell you that your ideas are impossible. This can be one of the first positive signs of a truly great idea! Flying was an impossible idea, but a great one! Handheld devices were impossible ideas, also great ones! Achieving your own personal goals may seem just as impossible, but they’re potentially the greatest ideas yet! (41)
Your mind is similar to a computer in that if you change the input, you automatically change the output. Practice really THINKING about yourself and the things that are important to you. If you like the picture you have of yourself, you will soon see that your actions toward those important things change in a way that you will like. Don’t just react to the world around you with no more than “knee-jerk” responses. Develop your skill to THINK, for from thinking comes new ideas. With these new ideas comes the need for further thinking.
I THINK … THEREFORE … I AM … I THINK.
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FOOTNOTES
(40)
Mind Control:
(41)
According To His Will: Jesus looked at them and said,
…take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
An automobile goes nowhere efficiently unless it has a quick, hot spark to ignite things, to set the cogs of the machine in motion. So, I try to make every player on my team feel he’s the spark keeping our machine in motion. On him depends our success. Knute Rockne Notre Dame Football Coach
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Point Number
LEADERSHIP – Either Lead, Follow Or Get Out Of The Way Positive Leadership Is What Lifts Potential To Its Highest And Best Use.
Even great ideas and finely polished abilities, no matter how extensive they may be, are of no use if allowed to sit idle in a state of hibernation. (42) Potential is no better than a lack of potential if it is not applied by positive motivation toward achieving a desired goal. Leadership must inspire. Leadership must stimulate and encourage to make use of all available potential.
People need to be reminded a lot more than they do to be instructed. Patrick Lencioni , Founder and President of the The Table Group
A highly recruited high school basketball star was eventually wooed to take his talents to a major college. He was observed by recruiters to have the potential to penetrate like Derrick Rose, rebound like Dennis Rodman, dish-off like Magic Johnson, shoot like Larry Bird, and to go to the hoop like Michael Jordan. He was touted as a complete performer with the ability to attain desired results in any kind of game plan. After a few weeks of practices, however, the coach was becoming increasingly frustrated with the player’s ho-hum
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performance that simply did not match up to his potential. In order to correct this situation, the coach took great pains to make it clear that there had better be improvement or else there would be a dump truck of negative penalties for his lack of achievement. The coach went out of his way to keep pushing hard for improved performance by making certain the athlete understood the penalties of not doing so. (43) Finally, after weeks of increasing frustration, the coach yelled at the top of his voice, “Young man, I don’t know just what it is with you, ignorance or apathy!” He replied, “Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.” Let’s stop and think about this for a moment. The coach felt that a lack of performance was due to either ignorance or apathy on the part of the player. Perhaps the coach needed to look more closely at himself and see that he just might be a part of the problem. The young player more than likely suffered from a lack of positive leadership. Knowing what to do and how to do it, as the talented young athlete knew quite well, is simply not enough ammunition to rise to the top of this competitive world we live in. Leadership was the ingredient lacking in this story. To reach your goals there must be a commitment. You must be prepared to achieve. In general, things just don’t “happen” — be they good or bad things. But, for sure, good things simply do NOT just happen.
Leadership comes from within. Developing skills that enable you to provide inspiration to others is a valuable tool, but it cannot be stressed enough that real inspiration must come from within. Leadership is not always something that comes from someone else. You must recognize the fact that it is YOU who sit behind the wheel of your life. In providing leadership to yourself, you take charge of your own destiny. In providing leadership to others, you help them to understand that their futures are in their hands. Only when you reach this understanding in your own heart, will you then be able to offer leadership to others. (44)
Leaders inspire others to take charge of their own lives. Leaders inspire others to reach their highest potential. Leaders motivate others to be leaders. To be a dictator, you must, quite obviously, have a following. To be a leader, as opposed to a dictator, your following must be voluntary by nature. A leader is someone who makes people do what he wants them to do because they want to do it! (45)
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You must be a leader in your own life in order to get ahead in this world. Leadership skills are not something you are born with. And, there is no such thing as a truly self-made man.
To benefit from any source of potential (your own, or others) you must have the desire and commitment to utilize this potential to its highest degree.
Leadership skills are not something that can be “put on the back burner” once developed.
Try this experiment: Write your name with the hand that you usually write with. Notice how familiar each and every line and curve is? Now attempt to do the same with the other hand and to achieve exactly the same result.
Leadership skills are not similar to riding a bicycle, which can be neglected for years and then applied in the future. Leadership skills must be practiced and worked upon each and every day. At no point is it possible to simply state, “Well, now that I have proven that I am a leader, I guess that I don’t have to any more.” In order to lead you must not only teach, but you must inspire. You not only teach what to do and how to do it, but you must also inspire a flame of desire to want to do it.
There seems to be a problem, doesn’t there? The two signatures look as if they came from two different people altogether. What is lacking? Why is it that you do not seem able to get the two signatures to look just the same? It is not as if you do not know what to do. You are to write your name just like you do with your other hand. It is not as if you do not know how to do it. You know exactly what to do and how to do it, yet that is not enough. What is lacking is a strong commitment and true desire to do it. (46) But, just imagine how different your results would be if it was communicated that you had one week to perfect your ambidextrous writing skills and that at the end of that time, if you had done so, world peace would reign? Suddenly there is some positive motivation and inspiration to achieve. The source of this motivation and inspiration is leadership. Leadership provides the needed positive motivation and inspiration to allow individuals to achieve desired results. Leadership traits are developed by a consistent approach to problems as they arise, and as your leadership skills are further developed, problems are solved before they happen. (47)
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The key to providing self-leadership is in developing your own self-esteem. Self-esteem is that gut feeling of your own selfworth. Positive Self-respect comes with the realization that by God’s grace you can experience life to its fullest and want to help others do the same. (48)
above. Providing this helping hand is the same as providing leadership. Pushing from below is interference. Providing a good swift “kick in the butt” or “taking a trip to the wood shed” may work in isolated instances, but these tactics in general do not tend to be synonymous with true leadership.
Leadership does just that, it leads. You cannot lead by always pushing. Try pushing a length of string across a table. You will get the same results if you constantly attempt to push people around. It just doesn’t work. Now, put a finger on one end of the string and gently pull. It is possible to lead people the same way.
In the heat of the battle, with “bombs bursting in air” and “the rockets red glare”, a leader is one who can gather the troops and calmly indicate the action to take that appears to be the best available, given the circumstances. And, more importantly, he inspires them to take that action.
Lead with integrity, a positive example, and high expectations. Soon you will have a following. We’ve all heard the saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Hmm? But isn’t it true that if we could effectively communicate to the horse the benefits of drinking and inspire him to do so, the horse would drink? (49) Animals are limited in their reasoning powers. Not so much with humans who can indeed lead themselves to “water” and can further provide the inner drive and leadership to want to quench their thirst. (50) Similar to the horse at the water trough, how many of you find yourself at your desk, in your home, or in your car avoiding doing today what you know needs to be done? You know what to do. You know how to do it. What some lack is the leadership to provide a desire and a commitment. You can’t push someone up a ladder if they simply do not want to go. However, you can offer a helping hand from
In order to lead, you must not be prone to over-reaction. Under pressure is where you are really able to shine if you learn to exercise self-control. Self-control is the ability to call a spade a spade, even after you have stubbed your toe on one. The mark of a great leader is not only in his ability to lead others, but also his ability to inspire others to become leaders in their own sphere of influence. It is not the job of a leader to train followers, but rather to develop other leaders. (51) If a man is hungry and you give him a fish, he will be no better off the next day. But, if a man is hungry and, instead of giving him a fish, you teach him HOW to fish and inspire him to want to do it, then you have provided the leadership to alter the course of his life. And, if you have really provided leadership of significant value, you also inspired him to teach others how to fish, want to fish, and instilled a desire to teach others to also want to teach others all about the benefits of catching your own fish.
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HEY! This is not just another fish story! (52) So, just as the college basketball coach wondered why his star performer was not meeting his potential, are you meeting yours? Are you inspiring others to meet theirs? Consciously or not, we all tend to either live UP to expectations, or DOWN to them. Expect the best from yourself! Why settle for less? Right now, put down this book and picture in your mind the people who you have known throughout your entire life that have had the most positive and encouraging impact. You will find that the names that come to your mind are all people who had high expectations of you. They knew you could do it! And, so do you.
IF INSPIRED LEADERSHIP IS LACKING Most individuals usually don’t’ position themselves to be: PROMOTED, FIRED, or to QUIT! But rather, they suppress their own CREATIVITY and DRIVE — Seemingly content to perform at what could be called: ADEQUATE, yet not very EXCITING levels.
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POINT
POINT
FOOTNOTES
(42)
Wake Up Call: How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man. Proverbs 6:9-11
(43)
Let’s Move It: Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of
(48)
Work For God: And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corintihians 9:8
(49)
Give Others A Drink: Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” John 4:10
idle hands, the house leaks. Ecclesiastes 10:18
(44)
Help Others:
(45)
Inspire Others:
A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25
When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. Matthew 8:1
FOOTNOTES
(50)
Develop A Thirst: As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. Psalm 42:1
(51)
All Working Together: They do not jostle each other; each marches straight ahead. They plunge through defenses without breaking ranks. Joel 2:8
(46)
Total Commitment: Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart. Psalms 119:2
(47)
Anticipate:
“Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come.” Daniel 10:14
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POINT (52)
Go Fish:
FOOTNOTES
One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. Luke 5:1-11
If you have ideas, you have the main asset you need, and there isn’t any limit to what you can do with your business and your life. Ideas are man’s greatest asset. Harvey S. Firestone American industrialist, founder of the Firestone Tire and Rubber Company
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Point Number
Err – What I Meant To Say Was, Ahh – When You Have Nothing To Say Please Say Nothing Verbal Communication Is So Very Confusing: Basically, We Use 500 Words To Communicate All Of Our Feelings. These Same 500 Words Have Over 150,000 Different Meanings!
How many times have you found yourself painted into a corner because of something that you said and then when challenged were unable to substantiate the very premise of your statement?
Nothing means anything if it is not relevant to people. Rev. Dr. Brenda Salter McNeil Founder and President, Salter McNeil & Associates
Let’s not misunderstand each other here. I am not in any way referring to lying. But rather, allowing yourself to become caught up in an emotional exchange that tempts you to feel compelled to needlessly throw in your own two cents in an emotionally charged manner! (53) Again, let me emphasize that in no way am I referring to
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a statement of lies or misleading statements. What I am referring to is, suddenly feeling compelled to voice your opinion or to give your personal input into a meeting or discussion, and then attempting to coolly and calmly give credence to something that was unthinkingly blurted out in a hotly contested dialogue.
This is such a simple basic rule, yet very difficult to learn, much less to master. Sometimes the desire to speak is a compulsion so strong that you feel it must be acted upon. (Don’t believe it!)
Few things can be as mortifying as observing a controversial and rapid fire discussion with no apparent rules or sense of order and then, just at a crucial point, YOU suddenly find yourself saying something that seems very logical, quite plausible, and does indeed make some degree of sense, but then you realize that you have no means to remotely substantiate your position. Suddenly, everyone in the room grows quiet. In unison they slowly turn to fix their unblinking gaze at you. Then with one voice they drone, “Oh, reeaaaalllly?” Quickly you are wondering how this seemingly out of control dialogue with everyone talking at once could become so alarmingly quiet. All eyes and ears have turned to you when you actually had nothing to say in the first place. (54) The bottom line is WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, SAY NOTHING.
There are times when the less you say, results in the less you have to apologize for later on.
It is a fact that when you are talking you are not in a great position to learn anything. Think about it! Those who cannot keep silent when they should are the very same people who usually cannot speak when they should. You must learn the difference between those two points. Many of us know WHAT to say, and HOW to say it. The problem is that, in either case, few of us know WHEN! Work on developing the talent of being able to listen closely to what others are saying. You must depend upon receiving new information to be able to continually expand and deepen your knowledge and understanding of the world and everything in it. (Not to mention yourself!). It really is true that our actions do speak louder than our words.(55) Because of this, sometimes WHO we are speaks with such a deafening roar that people can’t hear what it is that we are trying to say! An example of this is the person who is so opinionated on every subject and is “always flapping his jaws” or someone who talks “just to hear her head rattle”. They are not likely to
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find a receptive audience no matter how well thought out and intelligent their input on any issue. This is sad, but true. It is a bit like the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” in that WHO he was spoke so much louder than WHAT he was trying to say, no one would hear him.
In any case, it is strongly suggested that you make a habit of openly taking notes as others speak. Make certain that the speaker is aware that you are taking notes from their statements. This lets them know that not only are you interested in what they have to say, but that you do not plan to interrupt them. This can accomplish two things directly with an indirect bonus.
Obviously, the point of this chapter is to convince you of the importance attached to being prepared and organized BEFORE you speak. There is little sense in having to recover after you have spoken. If you are preparing for a meeting with your staff, a full-scale board of directors meeting, a small committee meeting or just an informal conference over lunch, BE PREPARED, by having the framework of the pertinent issues at hand and being ready to move in the direction you wish to head. One of the most important elements of preparedness lies in being ready to do more listening than talking. By developing your ability to really listen, you will be taking a GIANT step in dealing with either of these two situations:
1. When you are dealing with people who really have nothing to say and would be better off listening; let them do the talking. The fastest way to silence someone is to let him or her do all the talking. (56)
2. When dealing with someone who does indeed have some valuable thoughts that are well prepared and of significance, listen closely. You will then be in a perfect position to encourage them and help them to further clarify and expand upon their thinking. This is someone you want to encourage to keep talking. (57)
Notice that the common denominator in both instances is LISTENING!
FIRST: If the person speaking is not prepared and fully able to verify his statements, nothing will silence him faster than observing his audience, in apparent rapt attention, taking notes of his every word.
SECOND: If you feel the speaker really has something significant to convey and a sound presentation, this is a good opportunity for you to get his or her ideas down in writing. It would be foolish for you to attempt to commit all of their ideas and insights to memory.
THE BONUS in either case is that you will be able to learn and grow as a result of your having developed the skill of really listening and taking intelligent notes at a meeting. Let’s face it; even the very worst presentations definitely serve as examples for us to take notes with the intent of improving our own performance.
A smart person learns from his or her own mistakes. A wise person is able to carefully observe, think about, and learn from the mistakes of others.
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As you take your notes while observing the person who doesn’t have a sound presentation, be aware of not only what they are trying to say, but also HOW they are going about it.
What is his body posture? How does he gesture with his hands? What is the tone & volume of voice? Is there eye contact? Does input seem to flow naturally, or come in contrived sentences? What does attire communicate about the speaker? Is there any humor? If so, was it appropriate or distracting? When listening someone speaking poorly, you should be able to consider all the above and identify the reasons why they do not portray confidence. This way, you will learn how not to handle yourself when in a similar position. They same applies when listening to more polished individuals. As you listen to someone who is confident and convincing, make notes in relation to the questions posed earlier. You can learn much from them on how to enhance your own performance. This, then, is truly a WIN-WIN situation for you. But it’s only true IF you develop the basic skill of listening, and speaking only when there is a basis to do so. Be precise and as brief as may be appropriate in any given situation. Let your “yes” be yes and, your “no” be no. While on the subject of speaking, here is a hint on how to be sure that others will listen to you once you are certain that you really have something of value to contribute. Be sure that you have the general attention of the group, but then do not begin to speak immediately. (58) An occasional outburst of TOTAL SILENCE can be one of your greatest tools and adds credibility to whatever is said after it.
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Get their attention, and then pause three or four seconds before beginning to share your thoughts. (This is a particularly strong move to use when a meeting has gotten out of hand and everyone else seems to want to talk all at once).
Be very careful using this little hint that I share with you. Do not use it unless you really have something significant to say. The truth is if you don’t, then perhaps you shouldn’t be speaking at all!
For some strange reason some people are not in the least bit hesitant in interrupting others, but balk when it comes to interrupting an outburst of silence.
At other times, truth speaks so firmly, that words need not be voiced at all. (59)
My profession required my presence at dozens upon dozens upon dozens of Board of Directors meetings where I have seen this technique used with great skill by proven executives from many professions. The longer the pause before speaking, when accompanied by effective eye contact, I promise you the greater the level of anticipation will be from all the attendees at the meeting. It will reach the point that they will be really anxious and receptive to what you have to say.
The less you speak; the more people are inclined to listen when you do. If you are 100% sure of your facts; you can afford to keep quiet, until the appropriate time. The confirmed “good” news is that now you have their undivided attention. However, the potential “bad” news is you had better know what you are talking about. Make sure, make sure, make sure you know what you are talking about!
Those who are the best prepared with the most to contribute are those who speak only when they have something to say. The rest only want to say something. Meetings can sometimes run waaaaaay too long. Not because everything that needs to be said has not been said yet. But, simply because everyone has not had a chance to say it yet. That’s all I have to say, about that. (60)
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FOOTNOTES
Don’t Speak Hastily: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, James 1:19
Silence Can Be Golden: If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. Job 13:5
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Talk Is Cheap: Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? James 2:15-16
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Never Chatter: The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. Proverbs 10:8
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Be Wise / Listen & Learn: Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance. Proverbs 1:5
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Pause Before Speaking: People listened to me expectantly, waiting in silence for my counsel. After I had spoken, they spoke no more; my words fell gently on their ears. Job 29:20-22
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FOOTNOTES
Truth Speaks Louder Than Words:
But Jesus
remained silent and gave no answer. Mark 14:61
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Know When There Is Nothing Else To Say: “That’s all I have to say, about that.” Forrest Gump
So during those first moments of the day, which are yours and yours alone, you can circumvent these boundaries and concentrate on fully spiritual matters. And this gives you the opportunity to plan the time management of the entire day. Menachem Mendel Schneerson A prominent Hasidic rabbi
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Point Number
Your Future Happiness Is Having Something Pending.
We are all going to be dead a lot longer than we are going to be alive. (61) This may seem obvious, but worth thinking about. The thrust of this statement is not to begin a discussion about the life hereafter … but to instead initiate and inspire a discussion about what it is that we must do NOW to enjoy our lives in the present.
The best thing about the future is that is comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln 16th President of the United States of America
Time is that odorless and colorless medium that keeps everything from happening all at once. Time is so very elusive as it cannot be spent or saved. It only passes. (62) Time is the one thing that we are all given in equal amounts as we all have the very same number of minutes, seconds and hours in each of our days.
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It is up to us to reach our own conclusions as to how this medium is to be used to its maximum potential.
We speak of saving time and of wasting time. We say that time flies or time drags. And, yet we cannot say what time itself is!
Thomas Mann stated it so very well. He said, “Time has no divisions to make its passage, there is never a thunderstorm or a blaring of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.” Time is the greatest asset that we have. Nothing is more valuable. The greatest gift that we can offer to another is to give them our time on this earth before we are out of it! (63) On one hand, time is a constant. But on the other it is a variable simply because we don’t always use 60 minutes in every hour of every life. Each hour has the potential of 60 minutes. But in reality, at the end of the day, week, year or lifetime, the only time that really matters is that which we invest in doing things that please God. (64) The Bible tells us “Thou shalt not kill”. Author and speaker, Zig Ziglar, has stated that there are two great tragedies in this life, “Using up our natural resources, and not using our human resources!” Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time.
Time wasted is indeed time lost. It is impossible to go through life just “killing” time without undermining our own future.
Our age is one of expedience. We constantly invent devices that serve to hasten our tasks or enable us to traverse distances with ever increasing speed. We want to go faster and faster because we wish to “save” time. The story is told of an old Chinese man who failed to respond with enthusiasm to the glowing accounts of the speed of air travel. He listened unmoved, and then asked; “But what will you do with the time so saved?” It is futile to attempt to save time unless you plan to use it productively and efficiently. Don’t you sense that life just seems to be going faster and faster? Remember back in grade school when summer vacations lasted forever? But life now just seems to be at warp speed! Some are obsessed with getting through every moment of life just as quickly as possible. Yet, it just seems that the “hurrier” they go, the “behinder” they get. What ever happened to “taking the time to smell the flowers?” The CEO of Domino’s was so direct to say that, “We don’t sell pizzas. We sell delivery.” In other words, you get it in a timely fashion!
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It seems that we will pay for anything that might save us some time along the likes of: fax machine, Fed-Ex, ATM, smart phone, microwave, pager, e-mail, instant messaging, Blackberry, Facebook, Twitter, tweet, speed dating, Bluetooth, along with a myriad of iPad and iPod configurations.
Up ahead lies an intersection with a red light! We contemplate which car we are going to get behind guessing that it will be the fastest when the light changes. We even analyze the make, model, color, and year of car just to hedge our bet. All the while there is shuffling through business papers while cradling a cell phone between our chin and shoulder to apologize because we are running about 10 minutes late and still have one quick stop to make.
We think that all this stuff is somehow going to free some time. Yet in many cases, it all just serves to enslave us. Do we own our stuff, or does our stuff own us? (65) With all these devices to choose from in selecting gifts for friends, perhaps what we all really need the very most is a brand new phone less cord. (Think about it before concluding that this must be a typo.) In the late ‘60’s “expert testimony” was presented to the United States Senate predicting that with all of the evolving labor-saving technology, within next 20 to 30 years, people would average working only around 30 hours per week and taking vacations lasting several months. Gee, I wonder if unused time could accrue? Again in the late 60’s, a new way of obtaining food emerged. It was not based on the quality of the food. Not even on the pricing of the food. No, it was all based on how quickly the food could be delivered. And, we called it, Fast Food. Not good food. Not even cheap food. No, it was Fast Food. But, that was not enough. Why? Because you still had to park your car, unload the kids, walk into the restaurant, wait in line, order the food, and then have to take your food over to a table and sit down. And this all took precious time. So, DriveThru-Windows became the answer! Great. People could now eat in their cars while speeding off to their next destination!
We come around the corner on two wheels into the grocery store parking lot. Then, when it is time to checkout we scrutinize carefully what line to negotiate our way to. It even gets to the point that we are counting not only the number of people waiting, but also how many items are in each of the carts in each aisle. Even that is not enough, as some even keep an eye as to how the person in the other aisle is doing that you were thinking about getting behind before you picked what you thought would be the fastest. And oh, the pain involved when we see that they are now headed out to the parking lot and you still have some airhead in front of you who had to have a price check!
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All this hurriedness has left many of us exhausted. A recent survey asked what people would most like to do if they could have one extra hour in each day of their life. Guess what the number one answer was. The number one answer was: (drum roll please) SLEEP!
So very many of us are missing the really important things in our life simply because we are not taking the time to live it. There is no time like the present. The past is done and gone and tomorrow may not be ours. The only time that we can truly call our own to do with as we like is the present. But, time is always moving ahead. Now. And it is gone! Now. And it is gone. Now. And it too is gone! Human life lies in the present; the past is spent and done with; the future is uncertain. The present moment alone is ours to do something with. There is no sense being hung up on the past. It simply doesn’t matter how bruised and battered your past is IF you make the choice in the present to change. When all else is lost the future still remains!
Start to look upon the present as the past of your future! This very instant that you are reading these words was the future just moments ago. And now, that last sentence is in the past. Carl Sandburg said: “The past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, nor just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving and forget the post-mortems. And, remember, no one can get the jump on the future.” (66) Suppose your bank credited your account each morning with $86,400 but with no balance carried over from day to day and no cash was kept in your account? And, every evening whatever you had failed to use during the day was cancelled? What would you do if you had to live with a bank like that? Daily draw out every cent, of course! Well, you do have such a bank and its name is TIME. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it cancels, as lost, whatever amount you have failed to invest wisely. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.
Good cheer is more than faith in the future. It is gratitude for the past with a healthy sense of joy in the present.
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What we are right now, in this instant, at this very moment, is really a mirror image of all that we have experienced and the choices that we have made in our past. (67) We are the sum total of all we have ever seen, heard, smelled, touched, felt. This being the case, it is very wise to make a conscious decision to use a little “quality control” in deciding the kinds of experiences you subject yourself to. (68)
dealt face up and the winner would then be declared based solely on the face value of the cards that “fate” handed her.
Voltaire likened life to a game of cards in the sense that we have no idea which cards we will be dealt. But, it is up to us to decide how best to play them.
There will be many things that happen to us during our lifetime where we may believe we have no say. Whether we do or not is not the point. What matters is how we respond to the events in our lives. But, such is not the case. The best hand is not always the winning hand.
Life is the same in that we have no choice as to who our parents are, where we are born, what skin color we have, how tall we are, the size of the house we are raised in, how many brothers and sisters we have, and so on. But, once we have been dealt this life, it is up to us to make the best decisions to allow us to live a happy and productive life.
It is how you play the cards dealt in life that determine who the eventual winner will be, not necessarily the cards at all. Each of us is in control of our own destiny. We are not “victims of circumstance”. Life is pretty much a do-it-yourself proposition.
While it is true that we cannot control what happens in the world around us, we can indeed control how we respond to it.
If you have attended any class reunions, you without question saw many walking and talking examples of the truth that, “Life is what you make it”.
The winning hand in any game of cards is not necessarily the best hand. If that were so, then all cards would simply be
The past is valuable as a guidepost. Dangerous as a hitching post.
If you have avoided attending your reunion, for whatever reason, I would encourage you to re-evaluate your thinking
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and do so. You will be amazed! I assure you that you will see people you may only remember vaguely as never really distinguishing themselves or being a part of the “in” crowd. Yet, these same people may now be dynamic and creative individuals who are successful and confident. You will also see a few of the “hot shots” who seemed to have it all going for them and were destined for success, yet who are now barely recognizable since they never fully developed their potential beyond what it was years ago in school. You may find that the class president, who was voted “Most Likely To Succeed”, is now a bellman in a hotel. You may also find that the girl with braces, who was so shy she was never included in any activities, is now chairman of the board of some major corporation and very active in community projects. You might find that the football star who went on through college with an athletic scholarship is now an usher at the opera or that the class clown is now a member of congress. (Did I just say that?) While we are at it, take a look at yourself and ask if you are the same person you were back then. And if you did not graduate, instead of attending a class reunion, just make a trip back to the old neighborhood. Do you see any tigers with new stripes? None of us are dealt a “pat” hand in life. And, should anyone dare think that life owes ‘em a living, think again! It is up to each of us to choose to play our cards, whatever they may be, at any point in our life, to the best of our ability. Our hand may be continually changing, but our desire to continually improve and to help those around us should be constant.
By the yard, life is hard. By the inch, life’s a cinch!
You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future. To prepare for the future, examine the present. To understand the present, study the past. It is not the experience of today that drives men mad; it is remorse and bitterness for something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. THE PRESENT During all the years since time began, TODAY has been the friend of man. But in his blindness and his sorrow, he looks to yesterday and tomorrow. Forget past trials and your sorrow. There was, but is, no yesterday, and there may be no tomorrow. At those times when life seems almost too much to bear, stop and ask this question, “Am I carrying around the burdens of the past, and the future, as well as the present?” If you are, then you should be aware that this is a burden too heavy for even the strongest of us to carry.
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Attaching too much importance to what has happened in the past — and what bad things may happen in the future — automatically precludes our being happy in the present.
morning paper, but not to read the headlines of the day. Nooooooo! What they do is hurriedly flip to the page where their horoscope is printed. They simply must find out what kind of day they will be having that day.
Even a simple pleasure like a good meal cannot be fully appreciated if you are always thinking about the next course.
And then, having been informed first thing in the morning that they are sure to have a rotten day, they prove their horoscope accurate by having just that. What a predictable self-fulfilling prophecy! How ridiculous! This makes about as much sense as looking at the previous day’s horoscope to remind yourself what kind of day you had yesterday. Rubbish! Take out the garbage in your life. Get rid of it! It stinks!
Doug Hooper, in his marvelous work, You Are What You Think, drives home the point that many of us have a tendency to live in the past.
You author your own “horoscope” every day. Your future is not in the constellations in the sky, but in your own mind and heart. (Better check out Mark 12:30)
“It is a temptation to allow our past the power to affect one’s life which it does not deserve. Whatever the nature of one’s past, its effect can be neutralized by the thoughts and actions in the PRESENT, just as a glass filled with mud will become clear if drops of pure and clear water are continually added to it.”
With your own two feet planted firmly on the ground, It is YOU who decide what your position in life will be. The positions of the stars in the heavens above have nothing to do with it.
Stay out of the mud! Stick with those things that are pure and clear! You do remember “Pig’s Law” don’t you? I’ve always found it amusing to see those who are so consumed with what the future holds that the first thing they do each morning is rush to their
YOUR FUTURE IS NOW! Never carry failure forward, only knowledge learned from it. Your happiness depends upon YOU, and you can be as happy as you want to be. Your happiness is not the result of something that “happens” to you. It is the result of a positive state of mind that thrives on being alive TODAY, right now! Perhaps you’ve noticed that those individuals, whom you perceive as being happy, all have one thing in common. They all have something to look forward to. Stop and think about it. They are people who don’t seem frightened by what the
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future may hold in store for them. They love each and every day with an inner joy that allows them to do just that, LIVE each and every day. (69)
It is usually not too long after having achieved this “goal” that the stage is set for depression to creep into their lives.
Happiness is having something pending!
(EMOTION) + (MOTION) = MOTIVATION
Sometimes, to clarify a thought, it is a good idea to define the opposite of it, thus giving a clear and concise picture overall. To my way of thinking the opposite of HAPPINESS is DEPRESSION. Depression is that state of mind that exists when you allow yourself to concentrate on negative thoughts and emotions that may stem from remorse for the past or fear of the future, and then refuse to take the steps necessary to dispel them. Simply put, depression is a lack of motivation and a key ingredient in avoiding depression is to stay active in the present. This can often be observed in people when they reach “retirement age”. (Now just what does that mean?!?!) All of their working, ACTIVE, lives, they felt a sense of purpose and all of the positive emotions associated with performing their day-to-day activities. The sad part of this is that so very many people have been led to believe that the goal of their performance was to get to that retirement age where they would no longer have any need for goals. They could now spend hours sitting in front of the television or swinging on the porch.
Depression leads to the belief that there is nothing to look forward. Remember: Happiness is having something pending!
Just thinking about something, no matter how positive it may be, is not enough. Not putting your thoughts into motion, no matter how emotional one may be about them, makes them nothing more than idle daydreams. Thoughts of your past or your future, while perhaps causing a great deal of different emotions to stir inside of you are of no real significance if not acted upon right now in the present. Simple motion, without any positive emotion powering it is, well, just going through the motions.
Many of us focus on activities rather than on accomplishments. Don’t make that easy mistake. You may feel pressured to do things out of remorse for the past or fear of the future, and you go through the motions, but without a strong fuel cell of positive expectations, you will find that at the end of each day (week, month, year, lifetime) you feel only exhaustion from the activity, but no real sense of satisfaction in your accomplishments because they weren’t done with a feeling of true commitment on your part.
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Aimlesss MOTION with no positive EMOTION results in DEPRESSION.
Get it? Your life is indeed full of successes. Just open your eyes and look! (70)
The greatest waste of time is premature death.
While some degree of happiness may lie in getting what you want — true joy lies in being content with what you have. (71)
The greatest use of time is in making the most of the little joys and successes we experience every day. Your life is full of these!
A baby’s smile.
The wind in the trees.
Dinner with a friend.
Receiving an unexpected email from a loved one.
Closing a major win-win business deal.
Spending time in prayer.
Enjoying a brisk walk.
Holding hands with your spouse.
Listening to your favorite music.
Attending a good meeting.
Building a snowman with the kids.
Cleaning the garage.
Calling an old friend.
Reading a thought-provoking book. (This one!)
Get the point? You must! All ten of them! Start acting like your life depended upon it because it does! It’s a must! Life’s 10-Point Must System!
Your future: GO OUT AND GET IT!
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The Brevity Of Life: The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. Psalm 103:15-16
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The Author Of Time: And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. Genesis 1:14-15
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Today’s Agenda: “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:34-40
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Get Your Priorities Right: Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. I want you to know, brothers and sisters that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. Galatians 1:10-11
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False Pride Of Ownership: Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15
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You Just Gotta Believe: I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. Ecclesiastes 3:10-12
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It’s Getting Clearer Now: For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12
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FOOTNOTES
(68)
A Word To The Wise: Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who have left the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways. Proverbs 2:11-15
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Live Each Day: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
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Stare Wide-Eyed:
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In All Circumstances: I know what it is to be in need, and
The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. Psalm 19:8
I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13
PUBLISHED BY CRANDAL HOSPITALITY 57617 Santa Rosa Trail, La Quinta, CA 92253 E-mail: Michael@CrandalHospitality.com Copyright © 2012 by Michael Crandal All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the express written consent of the author. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available. ISBN 0-98491570-2 ISBN 978-0-9849157-0-5 Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. The “NIV” and “New International Version” trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica. Use of either trademark requires the permission of Biblica. Artwork Credits: All artwork is used by permission and licensed solely by www.iStockPhoto.com For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Crandal Hospitality at 760-464-6103. Manufactured in the United States of America Author: Michael Crandal — Michael@CrandalHospitality.com Designer: Thomas Granade — ThomasGranade@Gmail.com www.CrandalHospitaltiy.com