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JUNE 2020
THE MEN’S ISSUE
Stan and Jewell Buckley They had plans … But God! Jackson’s homeless get Shower Power
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contents JUNE 2020
®
Volume 14, Number 12 Publisher MS Christian Living, Inc. Editor Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com Associate Editor Suzanne Durfey Art/Graphic Design Sandra Goff
A small donation of clothes — which led to far more — sits in front of the Shower Power truck in Jackson, where people experiencing homelessness can take free showers every Friday.
columns 8 As I See It Why I struggle with Father’s Day
10 Modern Motherhood STEGALL IMAGERY
Seeing God’s goodness in the midst of grief
Stan Buckley went from practicing law to leading one of Jackson's oldest congregations to running a nonprofit startup. "Every time, (God) is faithful," he says.
12 Health & Wellness What men should learn from COVID-19
14 This Is My Story How I found Christ in a coloring book Why we need less “religion”
cover story 28 18 Stan Buckley had plans ... But God! feature
125 years of Palmer Home for Children
Living My Call How I help families with long-term care
30 Food for Thought Fun for Father’s Day
24 Shower Power Jackson organization empowers people experiencing homelessness
32 Christian Commerce How we went from corporate America to steak and barbecue
33 Tough Questions with Barb How your parenting can be ‘good enough’
Coming Next Month Jackson Police Chief James Davis: Reaching the broken
in every issue 6 Editor’s Letter 34 Quips & Quotes 34 Advertiser Index
➺
CONNECT WITH US: twitter.com/MSChristLiving facebook.com/MSChristianLiving 4
JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Contributing Writers Bill Buckley, Lisa LaFontaine Bynum, Libbo Crosswhite, Chris Fields, Stevie Franks, Dan Hall, Barbara Martin Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Avery Cahee, Kathryn Dyksterhouse, Randy Fortenberry, Walton Gresham, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Bob Whatley Mississippi Christian Living Phone 601.790.9076
mschristianliving.com
16 Mission Mississippi Moments 27 Lagniappe
From lawyering to pastoring to starting a nonprofit
Sales Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober, Megan Manuel
Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2020 by Mississippi Christian Living, Inc. Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available for free at hightraffic locations throughout the tri-county area and central Mississippi. Subscriptions are $29 a year. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Mississippi Christian Living, 203 Valley Vista Dr., Jackson, MS 39211.
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➺editor’s letter Why you should give — and receive — just ‘2 percent more’
T
he night before writing this editor's letter, I video chatted with three of my
longtime friends. Brittany and Ryan live in California, Jared's in Arkansas, and I'm here in Jackson. These are friends I can be myself with. I’ve known Jared since middle-school cotillion, where we learned the foxtrot and the fact that we were not at the top of the social ladder. I’ve known Ryan since he was the tallest boy in my eighth-grade English class. And I’ve known Brittany since her wee seventh-grade self would outrun me, a ninth-grader, at every crosscountry meet. Now we’re all in our 30s and we’re still friends, though we don’t talk nearly as often as we’d like. But we usually pick up right where we left off. Brittany, Ryan and Jared have huge hearts for Christ, and I always love life a little more after talking with them. But during our video chat, as they told me about tough situations in their lives that could use prayer, I almost didn’t share my own prayer request. Then I remembered a principle from a book called “Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts,” by Jennie Allen. One thing Jennie says is that, if we really want our friendships to grow us in Christ, we shouldn’t be afraid to reveal that “extra 2 percent” of ourselves that we hold back in fear of judgment. Actually, I wasn’t worried about being judged. I feared revealing my prayer request because I thought my friends might tell me to do something about it. And I didn’t want to. After I finally told them what was on my heart, they didn’t give me any action steps. But just talking about it made me want to seek the Lord more, and He nudged me in the right direction. I did what I needed to do, and it wasn’t as bad as I expected. Often, saying something out loud to another person helps goad us into action more than chewing on it alone. That’s one good reason to reveal the “extra 2 percent” to believers we trust. I think the 2-percent principle can apply to more than conversation. For instance, as the COVID-19 “rules” loosen and businesses
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JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
reopen, my precautions have slackened. I still wear a mask into Kroger; I’m still working from home and not socializing quite as much as I’d like; but I’m not washing my hands as often as I was in the beginning. I think I might try to do “2 percent more” and get back into the handwashing routine. It’s not hard — it’s just 2 percent more. On the other hand, in some areas of my life, I probably could use 2 percent more grace. I used to hate it when my friend Ally said, “Cut yourself some slack.” To me, it sounded like she was telling me not to care. But she saw what I couldn’t: that I wanted everything to be rightthis-second perfect, and when it wasn’t, I flipped. I spent a lot of effort trying and failing to measure up — instead of accepting where I was and accepting God’s grace to keep going, since I have already been perfected in Christ (Hebrews 10:8-14). Whether you need to receive 2 percent more grace or give 2 percent more effort, we often need correction. Following Jesus is sort of like learning to drive: At first, every time you see yourself drifting right or left, you jerk the wheel the other direction, then back again. You overcorrect. Then you start realizing what the steering wheel is capable of, and your corrections get smaller. Can you see your corrections getting smaller as you mature in faith? Just remember, our perfection is complete in Christ if we put our trust in Him. And He will never steer us wrong! ‘Must-reads’ this month • Our feature on local nonprofit Shower Power (page 24). • Our cover story on Stan Buckley’s journey from pastoring First Baptist Jackson to starting But God Ministries (page 18). • Our Living My Call Q&A with Sara Schmidt, who helps families coordinate long-term care for loved ones (page 28).Y
Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com
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➺as i see it by DAN HALL
Why I struggle with Father’s Day
I
don’t know how I feel about Father’s Day. If you grew up going to church as I did, it was severely juxtaposed to Mother’s Day. On Mother’s Day, we greeted them with roses and preached sermons on how great moms are. Kids made “Why I Love You, Mommy” crafts. We even honored the newest, the oldest and, for lack of a better word, most fertile (why we gave gifts to the one with the most kids seemed trite; the best I could tell, what they REALLY needed was a vacation from being a mommy!). But then came Father’s Day: At some point, Harry Chapin’s 1974 song “Cat’s in the Cradle” got referenced, stories of failed fatherhood abounded, and a challenge to “be a godly father” thundered from the pulpits. Oh, and then we got the obligatory men’s devotional book, which I’m quite sure remained a paperweight. As a young pastor, I fell into the same mode until I started having kids. Then it changed a little bit… Okay, a lot! And the longer I pastored, the more I realized that Father’s Day had quite a composite of emotions surrounding it. I found that I had no single sermon that hit the breadth of experience sitting in front of me — from amazing fathers to anonymous fathers and everything in between. Here are a few of the larger categories, though there are several more (applied to stepfathers as well): ◼ 4th Member of the Godhead Dad — Like my wife, many out there had a wonderful father who transcended expectations. These men led godly lives and loved their families.
◼ Great but Secular Dad — These men were highly committed to their families, provided well, and showed up at dance recitals. But there was little or no spiritual influence or guidance. Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods seem to have had dads like this.
“I found that I had no single sermon that hit the breadth of experience sitting in front of me — from amazing fathers to anonymous fathers and everything in between.” ◼ Physically Present but Emotionally Absent Dad — These men provided, or at least carried their weight. Levels of love or animosity toward them are determined more by the child and their personalities than by the father. Angelina Jolie and Kate Hudson fit this category. ◼ Abusive Dad — This is a tough one. Whether emotional, psychological, physical or sexual, this dad leaves an indelible mark. It causes some to rise up and be strong; others are crippled for life. Father’s Days are exceptionally difficult for this person. Oprah Winfrey and Joyce Meyer had this dad. ◼ What Dad? — There are some who have never gotten to know their dad and, in some cases, have no idea who he is. The father’s absence can alternately create longing for or rejection of that person forever. President
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JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Barack Obama and Shaquille O’Neal had this dad. So why bring all this up? Well, Father’s Day is a great day to challenge any and all fathers to be the best dads they can be. But it also is a day to celebrate your earthly father (if possible) and/or your Heavenly Father. And that’s really my hope in writing. First, if you’re like me and your father was good to awesome, then take a moment to write and tell him. If he’s no longer with you, write the letter anyway. It can be very cathartic. Then thank your Heavenly Father for making it possible to have that father. Second, if memories of your father are painful, seek to forgive him in every way. That might require some counseling or therapy, but it can — and must — be done. Everyone in your life, and especially your children, need you to. Then thank your Heavenly Father that He will never leave you or forsake you. Finally, if you have little to no memories of your earthly father, thank your Heavenly Father for having drawn you to Himself. He is the father to the orphan! This magazine is read predominantly by women, and my articles tend to be too long for men, but I still need to say to those fathers still reading: Happy Father’s Day! Y Dan Hall is an executive and strategic coach to leaders and executive teams. He also works with organizations on team building, conflict resolution and communication skills. He and his wife, Hazel, have six children and four grandchildren.You can reach him at Dan@OnCourseSolutions.com.
mschristianliving.com â?˜ JUNE 2020 9
➺modern motherhood by LIBBO CROSSWHITE
Seeing God’s goodness in the midst of grief
I
’ve been reminded during the last few months how
My two favorite boys in the world, who will never know my father on earth, are now carrying much I rely on stories for on his legacy, and I realized in that healing. Stories to make me laugh moment that that was truly a gift and many that bring me to tears. I from God. I also can share my believe God reveals His character dad’s legacy through my to us through stories. We learn so motherhood, in the way I love my much about who we are supposed children and share stories of to be, and what is to come, in the their Pops. stories of the Bible. Jesus was a My prayers have shifted so master storyteller throughout the much recently, and I hope they gospels. Each of us has a story that continue evolving as I grow into God is writing that He calls us someone who sees God both as a to share. Father and a Friend. I have always My grief turns 25 years old this struggled with not just laying my summer. It should be all packed up, requests before God as a Father, starting a career and in its own but developing a relationship with place at this age, but it still holds a the Friend that I have in the Creator distinct part of my heart. If there’s of the Universe. Asking to see the one thing I’ve learned over the last goodness of God regardless of the 25 years, it’s that stories are often Clay (right) and Russell Crosswhite with hunting gear belonging to outcome, instead of asking for the most healing remedy for grief. Russell’s “Pops.” things to happen or not happen, has Sometimes it’s stories of past been transformative for me. memories, or maybe it’s others’ Russell all about what they can do now that One of the greatest symptoms of grief is stories of grief and triumph. Stories are the they have this, and how Pops (what they call the bitterness that can so easily entangle legacy that those who we have lost leave my dad) probably used these tools when he someone. It’s a battle not to let the what if? behind as a blanket for times of pain. was hunting. They made plans to use Pops’ and not fair reign supreme in my thoughts, In a series of events that could only happen especially in times like this when we find to our family of four, I found myself calling my ourselves celebrating fathers. But I am not mom and bargaining to clean out her storage “Asking to see the goodness of fighting the battle alone: I have both a Father room in exchange for her housing a set of God regardless of the outcome, and a Friend in the fight. I have others’ stories Crosswhite kittens. Like all good moms do, of hope. I have God’s reminders and stories she took my deal and, much to Clay’s delight, instead of asking for things to in His Word of triumph. we found ourselves cleaning out a storage happen or not happen, has I cannot change the fact that I will feel pain room with over 25 years’ worth of Haskins been transformative for me.” on earth, but I can beg to see the goodness of family junk memories. God rather than the bitterness. I see God’s We hit the gold mine with a few of my goodness in watching my husband and son dad’s tools. We also read pages and pages of hunting stuff next time they were in the woods. carry on my dad’s legacy. I hope we continue a 1987 construction log just to give me a I was taken back to words I have been singing to seek the goodness of our Father and semblance of the man that I’ve really only over and over lately in so much uncertainty, as Friend in all circumstances. come to know through others’ stories. We Y a reminder from God Himself: laughed when in February of 1987 he spent a week in Las Vegas and, strangely enough, the I love Your voice entire week he marked that it was “too rainy You have led me through the fire Libbo Haskins Crosswhite and her to work” in a town that gets an average of 4 In darkest nights husband, Clay, live in Madison and attend inches of rain annually. Pinelake. They have one daughter, Mary You are close like no other Thomas, who is 6 years old, and a son, Clay and Russell uncovered a jackpot of I’ve known You as a father Russell, who is 4 years old. She is the high hunting supplies and tools, including a I’ve known You as a friend school guidance counselor at Madisoncamouflage backpack. Russell played for I have lived in the goodness of God Ridgeland Academy and can be emailed at hours with his new toy, and I heard Clay tell -from “Goodness of God” by Bethel Music lcrosswhite@mrapats.org.
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JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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➺health &wellness by CHRIS FIELDS
What men should learn from COVID-19
T
he last time I was with you guys, I spoke about our health
habits jeopardizing our freedom. At the time it was hypothetical, but as the weeks played out, it became a bit prophetic. The COVID-19 pandemic has not only restricted our freedom but drastically changed how we live, and placed an immediate value on our time. COVID-19 started as a distant echo from across the world and is now being heard loud and clear by everyone under the sun. The message this pandemic is shouting might depend on the listener. Some might hear, “Get your life together; get going on all you’ve been neglecting and putting off,” while others might hear, “Slow down and enjoy your blessings.” Some might hear a message to spend more time with family, while others are leaving their families behind for eternity. There’s one message that should be universally heard loud and clear, particularly for Christians: “Love God with all your heart, soul and mind.” That’s all we have. This pandemic is forcing all of us to change our lives in many ways, but the one that should be the same across the board is valuing what you have. The one thing we all have is a body, and it needs to be taken care of. COVID-19 attacks the immune-impaired, particularly individuals with impaired metabolic health (obesity, diabetes, hypertension or heart disease). Individuals with impaired metabolic health suffer from insulin
resistance, which causes energy distribution imbalances. Our energy, or our caloric intake, is in constant overload, which impairs our body’s ability to adequately distribute nutrients to their proper designations. There are two main causes of impaired metabolic health: poor diet and sedentary behavior. Before COVID-19, these two causes — especially when in combination — were killing millions yearly. Poor diet and sedentary behavior lead to obesity, which leads to type 2 diabetes, heart attacks and hypertension. The leading causes of death and hospitalization from COVID-19 are obesity, diabetes, heart disease and hypertension. Since June is Men’s Health Month, I will say that men are dying at higher rates than women due to COVID-19. There could be a lot of contributing factors to that, and when more scientific-based evidence comes out, I will gladly let you know, but until then I will list some things that are true:
Women are in more control of their health. Studies have shown that women use more healthcare services than men. Women see their primary care physicians at higher rates; thus, they have more knowledge of what they need to do to take care of themselves. Women eat better than men. Statistics in a community health survey reveal that women eat fruit and vegetables at a higher rate than men. My mom used to torture me with vegetables growing up, so I can speak to this from experience, but we all know the benefits of fruits and vegetables. Men are more physically active than women, but women exercise more. You’re probably saying those two things are the same, but they are not. Physical activity is just movement carried out by skeletal muscles, but exercise is planned, deliberate movement intended to improve or maintain physical fitness and health. It’s planned, repetitive movement sustained consistently over a period of time that generates health benefits. In summary, women are less stubborn than men when it comes to making the changes necessary to take control of their health. If I wasn’t a health professional, I wouldn’t be nearly as adamant about maintaining a healthy weight as my wife. Women love to lose weight. It’s almost like weight loss is their other X chromosome. Men, the subtle tactics of the enemy are taking us out, and the most subtle of them all is how we don’t value our health. Our bodies are a gift from God, and it’s time for us to stop hiding in male pride and be intentional in honoring God with the gift He gave us. It’s time for us to show Jesus His sacrifice wasn’t in vain by taking care of our body. If the COVID-19 pandemic isn’t saying anything else to us, it’s saying this, men: Value the life God has given you by doing what needs to be done to take care of your health — and be the standard that God created you to be in your home and community. Y
Chris Fields is the founder and executive director of H.E.A.L. Mississippi and a graduate in kinesiology with advance studies in nutrition. He serves as a clinical exercise physiologist/CPT and is credentialed in Exercise Is Medicine through American College of Sports Medicine. 12
JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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➺this is my story by STEVIE FRANKS
How I found Christ in a coloring book
I
Stevie Franks (left) with his wife, Haley, and their son, Judah.
was born in Grenada, Mississippi, and grew up in the small town of
Charleston, Mississippi, for the first seven years of my life. My parents divorced when I was only 2 years old and my father took me with him. He lived a rough life and worked as a bouncer, truck driver, and even as a drug dealer at times. I was exposed to many horrible things that children should never be subjected to. However, from a very young age, the Lord showed His grace in my life by giving me His wisdom to know that I did not want to live my life the way that my father and his friends were living theirs. There were nights that we were homeless, nights that I watched my father get into bar fights and have guns drawn on him, nights when we slept in random people’s homes. Even still, God’s grace was bigger than all of it and continuously kept us safe. When I was in second grade, my father went to jail, and I went to live with my aunt and uncle for a brief period of time in Philadelphia, Mississippi. It was while living with them that I attended church for the first time and started hearing stories about God. I was, it seemed like, the only person in the church under the age of 40, so during Sunday school I would go back into the kitchen and color in a Bible coloring book. It was through coloring images from David and Goliath or Daniel in the lion’s den that I began to learn about the Bible and who God was. I started to ask questions and realized I was a sinner who needed God’s forgiveness and grace. I then surrendered my life to follow Jesus and was baptized. My father was released from jail and I went back to live with him, but still attended church. I grew up and was involved in the youth group at Trinity Baptist Church in Philadelphia. At the age of 16, while I was attending a FUGE camp at Mississippi College, God called me to surrender my life to vocational ministry, and it absolutely terrified me. I wanted to follow my own path and play college football, get a nice job and have all the nice things that I did not have growing up. God continued to pursue my fearful heart, and eventually the next summer, I surrendered to follow Him wherever He wanted me. I felt called to attend Mississippi College and pursue a degree in biblical studies. My freshman year, the Lord revealed to me how little I truly knew about Him, and I realized I had never been discipled as a teenager. I loved Jesus and wanted to follow Him, but no one ever really sat down with me and poured into me until college. Through the MC Baptist Student Union and male and female leaders in my life, God began to mold me into who He was calling me to be. Through my college years, God was faithful in showing me who He was, even when I lost sight and either tried to conform to the ways of the world or thought way too highly of myself. Today, God continues to prove His Word true, and through my life circumstances, struggles and shortcomings, He shows me that all things can work together for good because He is good (Romans 8:28). As I look back at my childhood and sometimes feel ashamed or even feel envious of how others were raised, the Lord reminds me that He is the one “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). We all have a story full of mistakes, hardships and pain, and it is only our good and gracious God that can take those and use those for good. We serve a good God. Y
Stevie Franks is the student pastor at Grace City Church in Jackson. He is married to Haley, a dental hygienist for Dr. Susan Fortenberry at Pediatric Dentistry, and they recently had their first child, Judah, in December.
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JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:
✝ THE PROBLEM
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death… – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).
✝ THE SOLUTION
…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!
✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION
If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9
✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE?
Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.
✝ THE RESULTS
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17
If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans! Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith. If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 15
➺mission mississippi moments by BILL BUCKLEY
Why we need less ‘religion’ “But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Daniel 3:18)
T
he nation of Israel barely existed coming out of Old Testament history. They let doctrines, dictators
and deserts divide them. Their hearts wandered from the one true God and they lost their way. How can we expect to stand together if we do the same thing? We can’t stand together if we don’t bow down together! I’m not as interested in your color, nationality or politics as I am your heart. You see, your heart was made for one thing only — to worship, to bow down, to serve, to exalt, to lead you, to love. Let’s not kid ourselves about worship — you worship whatever or whoever gets the best of your time, talent and treasure. I believe our biggest problem in Mississippi is not racism but rather “religion” — defining God and self through rules, races and regulations, based on merit, bloodline and performance, instead of favor, family and Father. With the help of the Holy Spirit, use these 10 negative effects of “religion” to evaluate the motives of your relationship with our good, good God.
“I believe our biggest problem in Mississippi is not racism but rather ‘religion’ — defining God and self through rules, races and regulations, based on merit, bloodline and performance, instead of favor, family and Father.”
Bill Buckley (left) with former Mississippi State University receiver Rishunn McCaleb at MSU's 2018 spring game.
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11.
Religion protects doctrines instead of people. “They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.” (Matthew 23:4)
12.
Religion has contempt for sin but no compassion for those caught in sin. “As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.” (John 8:3)
13.
Religion is powerful with words but weak in demonstration of God’s power and love. “For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power.” (1 Corinthians 4:20)
14. 15.
Religion can’t celebrate the greatness in people who believe differently. See the story of Ruth in the book of Ruth.
16.
Religious people impose their will on others because they believe that’s what God does. “...I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." (from Deuteronomy 30:19)
17.
Religious people see people as the enemy, instead of sin as the enemy. “When the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, ‘Why is your teacher eating with the tax collectors and sinners?’” (Matthew 9:11)
18.
Religious people see God as the boss and you as the employee, while Jesus sees God as the Father and you as the son/daughter. “But you are a CHOSEN RACE, a royal PRIESTHOOD, a HOLY NATION, a PEOPLE for God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9, all-caps mine)
19.
Religion emphasizes prohibition, but the gospel emphasizes permission. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)
10.
Religion is safe and reasonable. Jesus is radical and unpredictable. “When Jesus heard this, He said to him, ‘One thing you still lack; sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.’ ” (Luke 18:22)
Religious people can see others’ weakness but not their own. “Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit.” (Matthew 15:14)
We all have some “religion.” Let’s agree to let the Holy Spirit convict us of it so that we can be free to love and serve one another with pure, devoted hearts. Let’s stand together! I’m believing in you! #StandTogether Y Bill Buckley is state director for the Mississippi Fellowship of Christian Athletes. He has been an FCA staff member for 25 years. He is married to Mississippi artist Mary Parker Buckley, and they have three kids and 12 grandkids. mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 17
STEGALL IMAGERY
Stan and Jewell Buckley laugh during their interview with MCL.
Stan Buckley had plans ... But God! From lawyering to pastoring to starting a nonprofit
I
n July 2010, as senior pastor at First Baptist Jackson, Stan Buckley had an appointment that would change his life.
“I still don’t know how (this man got a meeting with me),” Stan recalls. “I didn’t want to see him. He opened his laptop, and he showed me pictures of the devastation (from the 2010 earthquake) in Haiti. “I had plenty of stuff to do. I didn’t need these projects,” Stan says. “I looked at his pictures, had a little prayer for him, patted him on the back and sent him on his way, thinking I was through with this, and I could get back to the stuff I wanted to do. But the Holy Spirit had a different idea.” Thirteen months later, Stan would transition from leading one of Jackson’s oldest churches to running a nonprofit startup. But this wasn’t the first time God had interrupted Stan’s life plan.
From lawyer to preacher He’d seen Jewell Adams on campus before. Now she was in his journalism class at Southern Miss. It was spring of 1988. “I called her big sister in her sorority (and found out Jewell was single). I said, ‘Don’t say anything to her, but I’m probably going to ask her out.’ Of course she went right down the hall and told her,” he says – now sitting next to his wife of nearly 31 years. 18
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Stan and Jewell were married the summer after his first year at Mississippi College School of Law. After he finished, the Buckleys moved back to Hattiesburg and joined Temple Baptist Church, where they taught children’s Sunday school. They bought their first house. Stan practiced insurance defense and later got involved in asbestos litigation on the defense side. Jewell worked as a recruiter for William Carey University, then called William Carey College. In 1993, she gave birth to twins, Adam and Neal, and became a stay-at-home mom. The following year, “I began to sense that the Lord was leading me … into full-time church work,” Stan says. “But I had a wife and two children.” “And I was at home,” Jewell notes. Stan was their only income source. Initially, “(Jewell) was not excited” about Stan changing careers, he says. “She had married a lawyer, not a preacher.” Jewell wanted her husband to be sure about this move. He’d only been practicing law for three years. Finally, after lots of prayer, it became clear: “If I don’t do this, my soul’s going to die,” Stan says. Since New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary was the closest Southern Baptist seminary, he commuted there to work on his master’s of divinity while practicing law part time. A few months later, Stan got a call from Taylorsville, about 45 minutes
from Hattiesburg. A church there had heard about him from one of his professors and needed a preacher to fill in at two upcoming services. “I was in trouble, because I only had one sermon,” Stan says. But he did well enough that the church asked him to be their pastor. The family moved to Taylorsville, where, Stan says, “there were no houses around the parsonage — “ “There was one,” Jewell says. “It had a pig on the porch.” “Oh, yeah — it was a big pig,” he remembers. Pastoring paid half as much as lawyering. “But we never missed (having) anything,” Jewell says. She gave birth to their daughter, Anna, in Taylorsville, so they had three children under 3 years old. On days that Stan had class, he’d drive two and a half hours to New Orleans, attend classes, and drive two and a half hours back, while Jewell held down the fort. “She was beyond a trooper,” Stan says. “But those were four of the most wonderful years of our lives.” Next the Buckleys moved to Decatur, Mississippi, a similarly small town where Stan also preached. He completed his master of divinity while living there in 1998. (He later finished his doctorate of ministry at New Orleans as well.) Then in July 2003, First Baptist Jackson called.
‘I don’t wanna move!’ First Baptist Jackson had 5,000 church members — about five times the population of Decatur, where Stan was pastoring. After meeting with FBCJ’s pastor search committee, he and Jewell Jewell and Stan married on July 15, 1989, at Petal-Harvey Baptist Church in Petal. brought the kids to Jackson and drove them around the church building. The boys were 10 and Anna was 7. “Then we drove down High Street to the parking he’d seen of people living in “those dreadful tent lot and said, ‘You know that church we were just cities” in Haiti, he says. looking at? They want your dad to come be the The Holy Spirit told him to go to Haiti, so he pastor,’ ” Stan recalls. went, with a couple of folks from FBCJ. Cue the crisis. The first tent city he entered was specifically “Two of them just started screaming and crying, for amputees. they were so upset. Anna was getting out of the “Everywhere I looked there were missing hands car,” Stan says. and feet and arms and legs. It was awful. And I “Neal is just sitting back there like nothing’s remember getting away from my little group that I going on, and the other two are going nuts. Then was with, just to process what I had seen,” one of them yells, ‘I don’t wanna move!’ and Neal Stan says. goes, ‘MOVE?’ Then he starts screaming.” He looked up and saw a young Haitian man Finally, the Buckleys informed the kids that walking toward him. Stan didn’t speak Creole, but Jackson had a Chuck E. Cheese. That turned the man, Thomas, spoke great English. He was not things around. missing any limbs. Three thousand people showed up at FBCJ to “Why are you here in this tent city?” Stan asked. hear Stan preach as a candidate for senior pastor. Thomas said the earthquake had destroyed his The church had been without a permanent pastor home and his school, killed his father, and made his for three years, so “Donald Duck could’ve come mother an amputee. preach, and they would’ve had a big crowd,” Stan asked what the tent city was like. The Stan says. answer: not good. Stan asked how Thomas The church voted unanimously to hire Stan, and survived mentally and emotionally. the family moved to metro Jackson, where the kids “He looked at me and said, ‘Well, there’s a book Jewell and Stan with the kids at adapted well, Jewell says. “We kind of just fit in.” in the Bible called Ecclesiastes. … In that book, Summerland Baptist Church near Taylorsville, the first church Stan pastored. there’s a time for everything. There’s a time to At First Baptist, “I got the opportunity to do Kids, from left: Adam, Anna and Neal. things I’ve never done before,” Stan says. “The laugh, and there’s a time to cry. Sometimes we biggest challenge was probably administrative. I laugh, and sometimes we cry.’ ” No, Thomas did not went from four pastors on staff to 30. I went from a budget of maybe know Stan was a pastor. $600,000 to $9 million. It was a steep learning curve.” Finally, Stan asked what he now realizes was not the smartest question: Those challenges prepared him for what was coming next. “I said, ‘Thomas, if it were possible for you and your mom and your family members to … move into a brand-new community where there was decent housing, you could get medical care, you could finish your education, you ‘But that’s impossible’ could have clean water and food — do you think you’d be interested?’” After his fateful meeting in July 2010, Stan couldn’t forget the photos mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 19
Stan preaching at First Baptist Jackson.
The Buckleys at Thanksgiving 2017. Standing, from left: Neal, Adam and Stan Buckley. Seated, from left: Anna and Jewell Buckley.
Thomas said he’d love to move. “But that’s impossible.” Then, “in a split second, the Spirit of God spoke to my spirit two words: ‘But God,’ ” Stan recalls. “In a matter of seconds, my mind races through the Bible and all the times that God has shown up in impossible situations, because that’s when He does His best work.” Stan thought of God parting the Red Sea, shutting the lions’ mouths for Daniel, saving Daniel’s friends from the fiery furnace. Then he thought of Ephesians 2, which describes “what I think is the most impossible situation any person faces. Paul says we were dead in our trespasses and sins. We’re just dead people walking. Spiritually dead — with no hope, no future. And here’s the deal, there’s nothing you can do about it. And then (Paul) says, ‘But God ... ’” Stan knew God could do the impossible in Haiti, just as He had done for all believers in Christ. “And then I turned around and left, because my ride was leaving.”
‘Are you sitting down?’ Back in his office at First Baptist after returning home, Stan asked God what to do, and God started giving him a vision for what would become But God Ministries. But he needed funding. So in October, he had a house built — one that would fit onstage at First Baptist. “(It was) like 18 x 15 x 12 (feet). I thought we were going to just build these houses and ship them down (to Haiti),” Stan says. Today, hearing those initial plans rehashed makes Jewell do a double-take. “I just now realized, you were just going to build houses,” she says to Stan. What God did was way bigger. From the pulpit, Stan shared photos from his trip to Haiti, “our vision, 20
JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
and the biblical rationale for it,” he says. The church set a five-month timeline to raise money. In March, the big day came. “The counting committee was going to count (the money) that Sunday afternoon and call me. But 1 o’clock came, and 2 o’clock came, and they never called. Then it was time for me to leave and get down there for the evening service. I figured we didn’t get very much … and I was going to have to announce that, and it would be embarrassing.” He called on his way to church. The man who answered asked, “Are you sitting down?” “Well I’m driving …” “Well, you might ought to pull over.” The church had given $500,000. Then another $100,000 came in “from all over,” Stan says, including folks who watched FBCJ’s services on TV. That $600,000 was the seed money for But God Ministries. Most nonprofits don’t launch with anywhere near that amount. BGM went to Haiti and started building its Hope Center — a compound containing medical and dental clinics, dorms for visiting volunteer teams, a kitchen, and missionary housing — in May 2011. Stan was scheduled for a sabbatical from FBCJ, so he was in Haiti to oversee initial efforts. Soon it became clear that God wanted Stan to pour his energy into BGM full time. He resigned from First Baptist — one year after his conversation with Thomas in that tent city. Immediately upon leaving FBCJ, Stan was able to “fill-in” preach for whatever churches needed him, without any other pastoral responsibilities. His experience pastoring First Baptist gave him extra credibility: “I didn’t have to explain that I wasn’t in a cult,” he says. “And if they were going to invite me to preach, they were going to hear about Haiti.” FBCJ voted to pay Stan’s salary and benefits for a year after he left, which allowed him to focus on But God Ministries. He had the names of 600 families who had already donated to the work. Several FBCJ members became BGM board members, “though not anymore,” Stan says — except Buddy Huff, who today is chairman of the BGM board. (Buddy also chaired FBCJ’s pastor search committee that found Stan!) Now BGM has 120 employees in Haiti and 20 in Mississippi, and seven missionaries in Haiti (at one point they had nine). Stan attributes his ability to manage all this to FBCJ. “First Baptist showed me (how to run a large organization).”
BETH MORGAN PHOTOGRAPHY
Children dance at the Jonestown Family Center for Education and Wellness, where But God Ministries operates a toddler program and Montessori school.
A home under construction by But God Ministries in Haiti.
‘Every time, He is faithful’ But God Ministries works within seven SPHERES as they help build sustainable communities: S – spiritual P – physical H – H20 E – education R – roofs E – economic development S – soil As the organization’s efforts have grown, many churches, college students and professionals have donated, volunteered, or both. Doctors offer their time free of charge at BGM’s medical clinics in Haiti. A team of Georgia Tech engineering students made the entire Hope Center solarpowered in four days. “It’s just a matter of trusting God, having faith, and I’ve learned that every time, He is faithful,” Stan says. After building two sustainable communities in Haiti, BGM expanded to Jonestown, Mississippi, near Clarksdale, in 2016. “We have 12 fulltime staff (in the Delta), all from Jonestown, and they are killing it,” Stan says.
Stan with a little boy in Haiti.
Congratulating Stan Buckley and But God Ministries mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 21
Nurse practitioner Tony West, a But God Ministries missionary to Haiti, checks on a newborn at one of BGM’s medical clinics.
coronavirus pandemic, as BGM’s missionaries to Haiti flew home and volunteers stopped coming. “This has forced us to find out, ‘Have we trained local leaders effectively?’ And the answer is a resounding yes,” Stan says. Meanwhile, Mississippi staff meetings were happening via video chat at press time, and the Jonestown Montessori school held a socially distant outdoor graduation. BGM has lost about $400,000 — and will probably lose $200,000 to $300,000 Haitian pastors pose with certificates earned after a week of pastor training under But God Ministries. more — in fees usually paid by missionary teams, Stan says. However, because of recent civil unrest in Haiti, “we set the budget up this year, not knowing about COVID-19 … assuming we’d have no (missionary) teams.” Once the pandemic has flattened, the organization plans to announce an expansion into another Delta community. “We have our funding for the first house,” Stan says. “We want to help transform towns all over the Delta.”
‘You don’t know the Christians I know’
Stan loves that But God Ministries lets him put all of his BGM runs a Montessori school and dental clinic education, skills and experiences toward one effort. He also in Jonestown and is scheduled to start construction loves seeing believers give sacrificially of their time there June 5 on a 4,000-square-foot economic and resources. development center where businesses can set up “I just loved being around the “God’s people are the best,” he says. “Sometimes people shop — including a local company that BGM people,” Jewell says of visiting talk about the church negatively, and I think, ‘You don’t know Haiti with BGM. helped incorporate, which will bag screws for the Christians I know.’ ” companies like Capital Bolt and Screw out When asked for advice for anyone looking to start of Ridgeland. something new — whether a nonprofit, a business or a ministry — Stan Ultimately, BGM wants the communities it serves to rely on Christ and said to trust God for His timing; tell your story repeatedly (without take ownership of their always asking for money); and, “you need a plan,” he says. own future. “If you’re in it for the long haul, you need an organizational plan and “Our motivation is not to be anybody’s savior, but to do what God has a financial plan.” called us to do,” Stan says. “We want local leadership, and we don’t just Of course you can plan all you want, and God still might redirect you give lip service to that. We give them decision-making authority. — as Stan found out three years into his legal career. “We believe it’s important to ask people what they think is needed, Jewell sums it up: instead of doing what you think is needed.” “Just know it might not go according to (your) plan.” Y Leaders in the Delta and Haiti have stepped up during the COVID-19
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JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 23
➺feature by KATIE EUBANKS
Shower Power Jackson organization empowers people experiencing homelessness L
Shower Power founder Teresa Renkenberger, left, and board member Jarred Couch pose in front of the converted food truck offering showers to people experiencing homelessness.
converted food truck. Many wouldn’t be able to shower otherwise. Local nonprofit Shower Power owns the truck, plus the building that houses donated items. Six months ago, the organization started offering free showers and much more for people experiencing homelessness.
COURTESY OF SHOWER POWER
doesn’t take medication anymore, because it messed him up as a kid — scripture is his covering now. He comes here once or twice a week and, when he’s not reading his Bible, he’s praying. Jackie doesn’t keep still long enough to pray. Wearing a T-shirt, jeans and a red ballcap, plus a bandanna around his neck, he dumps water out of a makeshift cooler; transports clothing, hygiene items and food into and out of the building behind him; and cracks a running joke: “The preacher needs a Mercedes!” The “preacher” is himself; he cheekily begs donations. Hood sits on the curb and chats with the girl next to him. He has a bit of scruff on his face, and keeps his silvery hair not long, but not short either. When asked to be in a photo, he immediately runs his fingers through that hair with a motion so natural and easy, it’ll make you do a double take. DJ, Jackie and Hood are three of the dozens of people who show up at 836 South Commerce Street in Jackson on Tuesdays* and Fridays. They eat lunch, listen to music — and they take turns showering in the back of a
COURTESY OF SHOWER POWER
ying in the shade, a young man named DJ spreads his Bible on top of his face and reaches his arms up to the sky. He
*Shower Power’s Tuesday service was temporarily added during the COVID-19 pandemic, and will continue until other local facilities with showers reopen. The Friday service will continue.
COURTESY OF SHOWER POWER
‘Bird baths’ and box trucks
Jarred talks with Shower Power attendee DJ. 24
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In the past six months, seven Shower Power friends have gotten off the streets, and Jackie and others have gone from just receiving help to facilitating it as well. (The organization pays Jackie a few dollars a day.) Restaurants have donated lunches; individuals have donated whole rooms full of clothing. Attendance at Shower Power has gone from zero to about 60 per day, or 120 per week. “It has turned into a ministry, to be honest — a full-blown ministry,” says founder Teresa Renkenberger, a local realtor who saw the need after befriending a homeless man
Jarred shows the inside of the shower truck.
named Benny on Lakeland Drive. “Through almost a year’s worth of conversations, one day I asked him, ‘Where do you shower?’ It had never even occurred to me,” Teresa says. “He pointed across the street, and he said, ‘In that bathroom in the service station.’ “I said, ‘How do you do that?’ He said, ‘It’s a bird bath.’ I said, ‘How long has it been since you’ve had a real shower?’ And he told me, ‘A year.’ ” She knew she had to do something.
KATIE EUBANKS
KATIE EUBANKS
Hood (left) gets a shave from volunteer Chris, who is also homeless. Behind them hangs the shirt Hood will change into after he showers in the Shower Power truck.
“I have never really thought about my purpose in life. But I’ve always had it in me to serve underprivileged people, because me and my momma were almost homeless,” she says. “If it hadn’t been for people letting us stay with them at a certain time in my life, we would’ve been sleeping in our car. I was very poor and got made fun of.” After her conversation with Benny, Teresa called her husband and said, “We’ve got to do something about this.” “We didn’t come to any conclusion,” she recalls. “But when I was walking up my doorsteps to my house, it flew into my mind — a camper. If they can put showers in campers and RVs, they can put them in a box truck. I called my husband right back, and he said, ‘Go for it.’ I don’t think he thought I would do it.”
She did it. She found an old food truck on Craigslist, and she and her husband bought it. Getting it refurbished took a year. In the meantime, the man converting the truck told Teresa about a building in downtown Jackson that was for sale. She bought the building, so Shower Power had a place of its own to park the truck and offer showers. Thanks to donors, the building at 836 South Commerce is now full of clothing, snacks, backpacks and hygiene items. So anytime someone showers at Shower Power, they can walk away in a clean outfit, including socks and underwear, and take a bag of other amenities that nobody wants to live without. “Say this truck had gotten ready six months earlier — we could not have offered all the things we offer,” Teresa says.
Hood after his shave.
A block party and a catwalk If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Shower Power was just a block party. The truck is an old food truck, after all, and still looks like one at first glance. One man sits on the steps of the building and plays music through a boombox. His dream is to be a DJ in the Bahamas. Volunteers and friends linger and talk after lunch. Most of the people who make use of Shower Power’s services are men, and most are mentally ill. You can tell some are. But this (female) writer felt perfectly safe. Then you notice the haircuts. A man standing next to the shower truck provides cuts, trims and shaves as men sit on the curb and wait their turn. Hood only wants a shave, and for something to be done about his “Dr.
HOW YOU CAN HELP SHOWER POWER
Give food. Literally, any food. “You can bring lunch. You can drive by real quick and bring a bunch of bananas,” Jarred says. Give money. You can donate on the Shower Power website at https://showerpower.ms/. “We have a pretty high insurance premium that we pay each month — and our utilities,” Teresa says. “We buy drinks and snacks if we run low and don’t get it donated. The insurance is a whole lot. I’m trying to figure out how it can’t be so much.” Give your time. “What I always tell (potential volunteers) is, if you feel awkward, if you don’t want to be around people, there’s so much to do in the building, like sorting the clothes,” Jarred says. “We get more and more bags (of clothes) all the time.” KATIE EUBANKS
Shower Power is hosted on Tuesdays* and Fridays from 8:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at 836 S. Commerce St., Jackson. “We stay until the last person has showered,” Teresa says. Jackie both receives and facilitates help from Shower Power through their Tuesday and Friday gatherings.
*Tuesday service will end after other local facilities with showers reopen. mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 25
KATIE EUBANKS
COURTESY OF SHOWER POWER
COURTESY OF SHOWER POWER
Jarred (right) with a Shower Power attendee.
Jarred helping serve lunch at Shower Power.
KATIE EUBANKS
will share their testimony. Some just want the Seuss eyebrows,” he says. No need to cut the shower and the food. hair on his head — “I’m proud of that.” Jarred admits that showering in the back of In the building, a man who looks like he a truck could sound sketchy. “But none of them stepped right out of the Grove at an Ole Miss were really too standoffish (when we started). I game says, “Jarred, where are men’s shirts?” walked them back and showed them the (The Ole Miss fan’s wife says he fell in love shower, where the shampoo and conditioner with Shower Power about a month ago, so were, and said you’ll get a pack of hygiene, they’ve been coming back to help out.) you’ll get a towel.” And that “Third door,” Jarred was that. replies. Jarred is a student at One day, Jarred decided Mississippi College, a to clean out his closet and friend of Teresa’s daughter, donate some clothes. and a Shower Power board Shower Power posted a member. He puts a “Miss” picture on social media. or “Mister” in front of your “And then people just name when he meets you. started donating clothes He’s the resident “stylist,” and (more) clothes,” choosing new outfits for he says. clientele from among the One of his favorite donated clothes, and he moments happened with takes a lot of pictures of the one of Shower Power’s few goings-on. female friends, who hadn’t Jarred also stands 6’6” showered in five months. and has broken up a few “We don’t give people a scuffles at Shower Power. time limit in the shower. A But Jackson police patrol Hygiene items sit in a Ruth's Chris lot of people told us that we the area — and now that carryout bag at Shower Power. should. But I just don’t feel attendees trust the ministry, like that’s right. So she went in there and it took they’ve got the volunteers’ backs. her 30 minutes to clean her hair. And when For his part, Jarred says, “I get to reassure she got out of the shower, she felt so good and (people experiencing homelessness) that was so happy. It was like she had gained her they’re loved and that they’re worthy, and that dignity and her self-worth and her pride and their story’s not over, and we don’t know what everything back in one shower,” he says. it is, but God knows what it is.” “And as soon as she got out, I was like, Some friends come to socialize rather than ‘GIRL, you looking GOOD!’ She said, ‘Really?’ I shower. Some might shower, but won’t talk at said yes. She said, ‘Do you think I could be a all. Some will pray with Jarred or others. Some 26
JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Jarred opens one of many tubs full of donated hygiene items for the homeless at Shower Power.
model one day?’ I said, ‘Girl we don’t have to wait till one day.’ So we started walking up and down the street (like it was a catwalk). “She was just crying because she said she had not felt like she mattered. She felt like she was a person again,” he says. “It was beautiful. She was cracking me up walking up and down that street.”
‘This is my purpose in life’ As of Teresa’s May 11 interview, Shower Power had free lunches planned out through the first of June thanks to local restaurants and churches. And, the ministry has grown to the point where a second truck will be needed soon, Jarred says. The hope is that this effort eventually reaches beyond metro Jackson. “It’s weird how things hit you,” Teresa says. “I was walking the other day and it hit me: ‘This is my purpose in life. God, thank You so much.’ ” She and Jarred reached out to a former Shower Power attendee who now has a home, but MCL was unable to connect with him in time for an interview. Truth be told, every person impacted by Shower Power should get his or her own article, whether they’re still on the streets or not. Each of them has a story. Jackie spoke for a lot of his friends — no joking around this time — when he found out an article would be published: “Just let them know, people are out here for all kinds of reasons. There’s mental illness (behind a lot of homelessness). It’s not just drugs,” he said. Then he walked away and kept working.
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lagniappe by LISA LAFONTAINE BYNUM
Safety, security and a sense of belonging A look back at Palmer Home, 125 years ago and now
C
hristine McClamroch Spain was 5 years old when she and her siblings came to Palmer Home for Children in 1955. Now a wife, mother and grandmother, three words — safety, security and belonging — have become interwoven into the fabric of Spain’s Palmer Home story. “I could tell life was going to be different for me,” Spain recalls of her arrival. “It was like I was seeing color for the first time.”
From orphanage to home The concept of providing a place of belonging to displaced children was the original motivation for establishing Palmer Home 125 years ago in Columbus, Mississippi. A formal charter for the Palmer Orphanage was granted in 1895, and the organization officially opened on May 3, 1899, with a single dormitory on 20 acres. By August, the home had 20 boys and girls in its care. Within five years, that number doubled. Current president and CEO Drake Bassett estimates that Palmer Home has cared for more than 10,000 children in some capacity over its 125year history. While every child has left their mark, so have the caregivers who shaped the organization into the Christcentered environment it is today. Palmer’s third superintendent, William Frierson, was the first ordained minister to assume this position. Frierson and his wife quickly set about looking after not only the physical wellbeing of the children, but also their spiritual development. That legacy continues at Palmer Home today. In the 1950s, superintendent J.O. “Papa Joe” Davis began transitioning away from dormitory living to the smaller, cottage-style family housing still utilized today. By the end of the 1970s, Palmer was no longer being referred to as an orphanage. It was a home. Spain adds, “We were given every connection that the best parents would try to provide. When hula hoops came out, there were hula hoops all over campus. We had a good time, but we also had chores. The training was there, but there was also a place of belonging.” Spain has had many opportunities to shine a light on Palmer Home. In 1970, she won the title of Miss Mississippi and openly shared
her story during her reign. “I felt representative of my childhood, of growing up in a children’s home, and to those children,” she explains. “Life has all kinds of opportunities. I had such a heart of gratitude for all those people that collectively took me in.”
Evolving to meet the need Over the years, the scope of Palmer’s mission has expanded “because the needs of children are different than they were in 1920 or even 1970,” Bassett says. “We have children coming out of very complicated situations — neglect, abuse, any number of different factors that existed 50 years ago, but (were) not as prevalent as today.” Palmer now offers a variety of care settings to complement their residential model. The organization provides foster care through certified families. It works with expectant mothers in prison to provide childcare for newborns, and then helps reunite those
mothers with their children after release. Palmer’s Transitional Program guides young adults ages 18 to 24 who would normally “age out” of foster care. Palmer developed the Whole Child Initiative Model of Care, which began as an evaluation tool for onboarding new children but has since changed the entire approach by which Palmer Home provides care. By helping children work though trauma, Palmer equips them to thrive at home, at school and in the community. “This is an environment where people understand the importance of trauma,” Bassett says. “We’ve brought together people who have skills and abilities to directly intervene in the lives of these children at the earliest age possible. The children then begin to cope, untangle the past, and eventually begin to overcome.” Palmer Home for Children has been a beacon of light for 125 years and intends to embrace that role well into the future. “Yes, many children have come through our doors, but many more lives have been affected because they came through our doors,” adds Bassett. “It’s a ripple effect that ultimately brings families together.” Y
Lisa LaFontaine Bynum is a freelance writer from Grenada. Her work has appeared in several publications in Mississippi. She is a graduate of Delta State University, where she received a BA in Marketing and her MBA. In her free time, she enjoys food writing and photography for her blog The Cooking Bride. Lisa lives in Brandon with her husband and two sons. mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 27
âžşliving my call How I help families with long-term care
Sara Schmidt (center) with her sons, Jackson (left) and Carter.
Sara Schmidt helps coordinate long-term and end-of-life care as a Jackson-area account executive for LHC group, which provides home health and hospice care. She spoke with MCL about why she loves her job, and the importance of planning for long-term care. 28
JUNE 2020 â?˜ Mississippi Christian Living
MCL: What exactly is involved in your job? What I do now a lot is talk to families. I always say, “In a perfect world, what would your situation be? Where do you want (your parent) to go? How do you want their care to look?” Then I try to recreate that as best I can, for the patient and for the family. No matter where the patient is going, I coordinate their care … if they’re going to a nursing home, or if someone is coming to them … I make sure the contracts are there for us (LHC Group) to take care of them. (We provide) nurses, CNAs, chaplains, social workers, everything. I’m not there to give you just one option. I always want to make sure people know all their options. And I get to be emotional support. If you need a coffee, I’m here for you. If you just need Sara with her mother, Brenda, who was diagnosed to go to lunch, let’s go. with early age dementia in her mid-50s.
MCL: When should people start planning for long-term or end-of-life care? As soon as they can. It’s such a critical, stressful time for people, and they feel like they have to make a decision so quick, and sometimes they do, because they waited too late. Hospice is for anyone with a terminal illness. Most people wait until somebody is dying, and it doesn’t have to be that way. We’ve had some hospice patients for two years. Everybody should have a will — especially if you have children. (Also) if you start long-term care (insurance) early, then you can lock (the rate) in for years. Then you’re guaranteed if something happens to you, you have someone taking care of you. That policy will pay your nursing home just like any other insurance pays out.
Who influenced you to get into the healthcare field? My parents. My father died when I was 10 years old. He was a nurse at the VA nursing home. I would go to work with him in the mornings for 30 to 45 minutes until my mom got off the night shift (as a nurse) at St. Dominic’s, and she would pick me up for school. They were both extreme caretakers. My mom took care of her parents until they died a few years ago. My dad took care of my grandfather, and then we took care of my grandfather after my dad died. My older sister’s a nurse, too.
How did you wind up at your current job? I worked for a plastic surgeon for a long time, and I was working way too much to be a single parent. (So) I started working in a nursing home as the director for social services and admissions. That’s when I really found my calling. I got to know all the families and the residents, and they became like family to me. At that time, my mom was having to retire after being diagnosed with dementia. That job gave me the flexibility to take care of my boys and my mom. One day, one of the reps for (LHC Group) came into the nursing home and (said), “You really need to come work with us.” It was literally like an answered prayer. It checked off my perfect job
list. I had the flexibility to run my two boys to baseball practice, and I was making more money. The satisfaction that I got from helping people ... It was never hard for me.
MCL: Can you share more about your mom’s journey?
She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s at 54. She worked for another year after her diagnosis, and then she had to retire because her shaking had gotten so bad. About a year after that, she was diagnosed with early age dementia. That was 10 years ago. My mom doesn’t want to go into a nursing home. Having to help take care of her has given me a new appreciation for caregivers. It’s hard to stay positive, especially when I don’t feel like I have my momma anymore. I have her physically, but not mentally or emotionally. Being there as a caregiver has also shown me how to talk to people about (long-term care). Planning is huge. If you have questions about long-term care, hospice, or home health care, you can reach Sara at 601-927-0203 and sara.schmidt@lhcgroup.com. Y
We bring compassion
HOME. Baptist Hospice is dedicated to providing quality, compassionate care and reassurance to patients and families when they need it most. Call us today to learn more about the many benefits of hospice.
601.933.0053 mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 29
➺food for thought recipes by HALEY FRANKS
Fun for G Father’s Day
rill? Check. Pizza? Check. Funfetti? Why not! Our friend Haley Franks (whose husband, Stevie, shares his testimony on page 14), has been posting easy, familyfriendly recipes on Instagram, and we thought we’d share some with y’all, just in time to treat dad for Father’s Day. Enjoy, and follow Haley @haleysreciperoundup for more! Y
GRILLED TACO PIZZA 1 ball raw pizza dough
⅔ 1 1 8 2
(i.e. Fleischmann’s or Pillsbury refrigerated)
cup refried beans pound prepared taco meat (4-ounce) can green chilis ounces taco sauce cups shredded cheddar (i.e. Fiesta blend) Your favorite taco toppings
Heat grill to 400. Place pizza stone on grill for 5 minutes before preparing pizza. Once stone is heated, remove and carefully press pizza dough into a circle. Spread an even layer of refried beans on dough. Drizzle half of the taco sauce over beans. Spread taco meat evenly over sauce, and sprinkle green chilis over meat. Add half the cheese on top of meat. Drizzle the rest of the taco sauce over first layer of cheese, then spread the rest of the cheese over the sauce. Grill 15-18 minutes until crust is golden and cheese is melted. If desired, remove pizza from stone and grill on grates for an additional 4 minutes to create grill marks. Once pizza is fully cooked, remove from grill and top with desired taco toppings (i.e. lettuce, chopped tomatoes, salsa, sour cream).
RANCH PRETZELS AND HONEY MUSTARD DIP For pretzels: 1 (16-ounce) bag mini twist pretzels ½ cup of neutral oil (i.e. vegetable oil) 1 packet ranch dressing mix ½ teaspoon dried dill ½ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper 1 teaspoon seasoned salt (i.e. Tony’s) ½ teaspoon garlic powder Preheat oven to 250 degrees. In a large bowl, add pretzels. In a small bowl, whisk together oil, ranch packet, dill, cayenne, seasoned salt and garlic powder. Pour mixture over pretzels and stir to coat evenly. Spread pretzels evenly on two sheet pans. Drizzle extra seasoning left in the bowl over pretzels. Bake 30 minutes, gently tossing/turning pretzels over halfway through. Store in airtight container or large zip-top bag. For honey mustard dip: 3 tablespoons yellow mustard 3 tablespoons mayonnaise 2 tablespoons stone ground mustard 3 tablespoons honey ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper ¼ teaspoon paprika Mix ingredients thoroughly. Store in refrigerator until ready for use.
FUNFETTI GOOEY CAKE BARS For base: 1 box funfetti cake mix 1 egg ½ cup butter, melted 1 teaspoon almond extract For top: 2 eggs 8 ounces cream cheese 3 cups powdered sugar 4 tablespoons butter, melted/cooled ¼ cup confetti sprinkles 1 teaspoon almond extract 1 teaspoon vanilla extract ¼ teaspoon salt Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, add funfetti mix, egg, butter, and almond extract. Mix until dough is formed. Press evenly into 9” x 13” baking dish. In a separate large bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth, add butter and beat until incorporated. Add eggs, salt and extracts, and mix well. Slowly add powdered sugar one cup at a time, beating between each addition. Once a homogeneous mixture is formed, gently and quickly fold in sprinkles so they do not bleed. Pour evenly over the base and bake 50-60 minutes until center is set and top is golden brown.
Haley Franks is the wife of Stevie Franks. She is a dental hygienist by day, but learned to love cooking and baking by watching Food Network. She recently turned her hobby into an Instagram platform for fun, and enjoys making videos of what she is cooking each day. The Franks dog, Moose, is always by her side in case any crumbs fall! 30
JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
mschristianliving.com â?˜ JUNE 2020 31
➺christian commerce by KATIE EUBANKS
How these restaurant owners went from corporate America to steak and barbecue
S
teve and Lisa Beagles were working hard at corporate jobs in 2016 when
they realized they needed a change. Technically they were retirement age, but retirement wasn’t an option: They had two young daughters. “Steve said, ‘We just need to find a business that’s been orphaned,’ ” Lisa recalls — “orphaned” meaning the owner is ready to give the company to his or her children, but they don’t want it. She and Steve pursued first one, then another “orphaned” business in the Jackson area. Both times, the deal fell through. Then they tried a different tack: They called the city of Ridgeland. “Mayor McGee called me back within 15 or 20 minutes,” Lisa says. A week later, the Beagles had all but signed a deal with the owners of Doe’s Eat Place in Greenville, Mississippi, to operate an independent franchise. Doe’s Eat Place of Ridgeland opened on County Line Road on April 25, 2017. Steve and Lisa have only lived in Mississippi for 10 years (they’re originally from the Carolinas). But as local business owners, they and their daughters have grown roots in the Jackson area. Sarah-Beth, 15, and Rachael-Ann, 12, attend St. Augustine School in Ridgeland. “They come to the restaurants with us,” Steve says. “It’s just the four of us, but they ended up in a much bigger family (of restaurant staff).” “Some of the normal stuff that goes on in restaurants we don’t allow, because our children are there,” Lisa says. “We’ve been blessed with staff that totally get who we are and what we stand for.”
EAT WITH THE BEAGLES Doe’s Eat Place of Ridgeland 5-9 p.m. Tues-Sat
Steve’s Ribs and Grill
11 a.m.–2 p.m. and 5–8:30 p.m. Tues–Fri 11 a.m.–8:30 p.m. Sat “We will always close on Sunday for family and faith.” – Lisa Beagles
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JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Steve and Lisa Beagles (back) with their daughters, Sarah-Beth (left) and Rachael-Ann.
“Lisa’s got several friends that she met strictly from them being diners. Now they stay in touch and check on one another. When someone has a problem, they’ll put them on each other’s prayer list.” From 1 restaurant to 2 The summer after opening Doe’s Eat Place of Ridgeland, the Beagles were on their way back from Disney World, and they had to stop suddenly in Ocala, Florida, because SarahBeth needed an emergency appendectomy. While they were there, their landlord called and said a restaurant space behind Doe’s was about to be available. OK, they thought — they could discuss that during their 14-hour drive home. As the family got back on the road, a recovering Sarah-Beth said she felt like she could eat some barbecue. They stopped at a Sonny’s BBQ. That’s when the lightbulb flashed: Why not open a barbecue restaurant? After all, Steve had requested barbecue ribs for Father’s Day,
and Lisa had been unable to find any good ones in Madison County. She’d enlisted the Doe’s staff to help instead. “So sitting at the table, we had a Sonny’s napkin, and the girls started drawing on it about a logo,” Lisa says. One of those sketches became the logo for Steve’s Ribs and Grill — located right behind Doe’s Eat Place of Ridgeland. “To this day, we’ve got that napkin framed at Steve’s.” Steve’s specializes in Carolina-style, mustard-based and vinegar-based barbecue, and the recipes are “scratch-made (and) all original,” Steve says. Both Steve’s and Doe’s feature family recipes, while Doe’s also includes items universal to all Doe’s locations. “Every one of (the Doe’s locations) pretty much has their own signature (dish),” Lisa says, “like our seafood, my pecan pie.” However, though the Beagles can cook, they don’t work in the kitchen. “We’re managing it from the customer perspective,” Lisa says. “We enjoy being there building those relationships.” That seems to have paid off: Some customers, especially on a Friday, will have lunch at Steve’s and dinner at Doe’s, Lisa says. “Lisa’s got several friends that she met strictly from them being diners,” Steve says. “Now they stay in touch and check on one another. When someone has a problem, they’ll put them on each other’s prayer list.” Those prayers have been crucial during the COVID-19 pandemic. Though all restaurants have struggled, Doe’s and Steve’s are now back open for dine-in while obeying social distancing requirements, Lisa says (see box for hours). Running two restaurants is hard, especially right now. Even the road to ownership was bumpy — but the Beagles are grateful. “When the other (business) deals fell through, it reminded Steve and me how we ended up in Mississippi, and that was that every door closed for us in the Carolinas,” Lisa says. “We literally got pushed down here. I called it a God push. “So we look at where we are today … as God pushing us. This is where we need to be.”
Y
➺
tough questions with barb by BARBARA MARTIN, LPC, LMFT
How your parenting can be ‘good enough’ QUESTION:
I am concerned because, over the last few months, extending patience with my children has become much more difficult. I feel guilty in this and would like to know how to move forward in a positive way.
H
ere is a truth to remember: Failure
isn’t an option in parenting. It is inevitable. The truth is that harsh words, unkind thoughts and rash actions have happened to all of us as parents. Our mistakes will hurt and create sadness in our children, and at times, this will break our hearts and theirs. We don’t want to celebrate our mistakes, but at the same time we need to keep in mind that we are sinners tasked with parenting sinners. The truth of sin impacts every relationship we have. I remember with great relief a lecture I heard at Reformed Theological Seminary when I was getting my master’s in counseling degree; the professor introduced the concept of “good enough parenting.” I had lived under the false premise that, in order to have perfect children, I needed to be a perfect parent. If I was an imperfect parent, then my children would grow up to be imperfect people, and I simply could not have that happen. I believed that if I was going to have extraordinary children, then I needed to be an extraordinary parent. The premise behind “good enough
parenting” is this: If our children see mistakes that we make, and they will, and we acknowledge these to our children, they will learn a good life lesson, which is that people don’t do right all the time. It is when they do wrong, honestly acknowledge it, ask for forgiveness, and then get on with life that it is actually an opportunity for our children to learn how to handle life and see that people do make mistakes, can learn from them, and move on. We need to remember that it is harder to ruin our kids than we think, and harder to stamp them for success than we would like. It is pretty arrogant to think that our good parenting accounts for the best of what we see in our children; and it is a lie to assume that our imperfect parenting is the only reason our children have made some poor choices. Here is some great advice: You don’t have to be a perfect parent to be a blessing to your children. One of the very best things you can do as a parent is to know how to fail in front of your children, repent and apologize to them, then live a life of ongoing repentance before their eyes, knowing that you as well as they are in need of the grace of Christ at all times. Often in our parenting, we will feel shame. Shame is the subjective feeling of being worthless because of who we are, and it can lead to the paralyzing conviction that one is worthless and of no value to others and to God. Shame will keep us preoccupied with ourselves and inattentive to the needs of others. Its message is that we need to get our act together before we can focus on others, including our family. When this happens, there is a vague
sense that we need to hide, blame, and run for cover. This can be paralyzing and keep us stuck. If you find yourself over and over rehearsing the mistakes you have made, you can begin to tell yourself a more complete story: God has forgiven me, Christ has redeemed me, and the past is full of His wonderful deeds. We need to keep looking through the truth that, if you belong to Christ, He has not and will not withhold His mercy from you. C.S. Lewis says, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” How? These four things are taken from “Shame-Free Parenting” by Sandra Wilson: 1. Parents don’t expect to be perfect, so they can live free from the shame of perfection. 2. Parents are consistently adequate, since they admit personal problems and seek help to resolve them. 3. Parents expect family problems, so when the problems come, they focus on problem solving. 4. Parents consistently tell the truth about what is happening in and around the family to accurately represent reality. Y
Barbara Martin, LPC, LMFT, is an adjunct professor at Reformed Theological Seminary in Jackson and the emotional care consultant for Mission to North America, a branch of the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA). She has a private practice in Ridgeland, has been married to Hal for 45 years, and has three sons and five grandchildren.
Sunnybrook Estates is a strictly rental independent living retirement community offering spacious apartment living. Low monthly rates with NO long-term lease or buy in required. Rent includes meals, housekeeping, transportation, activities, on-site movie theatre, central heat and air in each apartment and more!
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CALL 601-856-4050
To inquire about Sunnybrook Estates mschristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2020 33
➺quips & quotes ✂
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CUT OUT THE SCRIPTURES AND QUOTES AND PLACE THEM AROUND YOUR HOME FOR DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT!
ADVERTISER INDEX ADVERTISING PARTNERS
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Assisting Angels............................................11
My dad is my hero. ~ Harry Connick, Jr.
My father didn’t do anything unusual. He did what dads are supposed to do — be there. ~ Max Lucado
The righteous who walks in his integrity — blessed are his children after him!
A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.
Belhaven University.........................................2 C Spire .............................................................3
~ Billy Graham
Christian Leaders of the Future ....................35
Fatherhood is the greatest thing that could ever happen. You can’t explain it until it happens — it’s like telling someone what water feels like before they’ve ever swam in it.
Covenant Caregivers.......................................8 Doe’s Eat Place of Ridgeland .......................13 Freshway Produce.........................................16 Gary Haygood Landscape Architect & Contractor...............................22
~ Michael Bublé
~ PROVERBS 20:7
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Baptist Hospice .............................................29
Gateway Rescue Mission ..............................31
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection. ~ Sigmund Freud
H.E.A.L. Mississippi .......................................12 Joe Ragland ..................................................23 Mascagni Wealth Management ...................36
~ PROVERBS 22:6
It starts in the home. If the father is not in the home, the boy will find a father in the streets. I saw it in my generation and every generation before me, and every one since. ~ Denzel Washington
The greatest tribute a boy can give to his father is to say, “When I grow up, I want to be just like my dad.”
Mississippi College Dept. of Psychology & Counseling ................................................9 New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary .....................................................23 Pegasus Senior Living .....................................7
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
Pine Grove Treatment Center.........................5 PJ’s Coffee ....................................................21
~ PSALM 103:13
~ Billy Graham
Sayle Oil.........................................................31
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. ~ JOHN 3:16
All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. ~ 2 TIMOTHY 3:16–17
Sitters, LLC ....................................................13 Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company....................................17 Stegall Imagery .............................................31 Sunnybrook Estates ......................................33
By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. ~ PROVERBS 24:3–4
34
JUNE 2020 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Wesley Biblical Seminary ..............................13 William H. Morris, Author .............................23 Wendy Maxwell, Counselor..........................23
Christian Leaders of the Year CHARACTER • SERVICE • EXCELLENCE
Is there a godly person in your life who leads by example? A coworker, mentor or friend?
They could be honored in Mississippi Christian Living’s December cover story! Our Christian Leaders of the Year cover story will highlight Christ followers in Mississippi who have exemplified the character and servant leadership of Jesus in their lives. Nominees must be 22 years or older and live in Mississippi. Visit bit.ly/2020CLY for information and instructions for nominating.
Nominations are due July 31, 2020.
MASCAGNI WEALTH MANAGEMENT, INC. IS A REGISTERED INVESTMENT ADVISER REGISTERED WITH THE UNITED STATES SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION.