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SEPTEMBER 18, 2026 AIKEN-AUGUSTA’S MOST SALUBRIOUS NEWSPAPER • OUR 20th YEAR

It might seem inappropriate to put an article about suicide prevention right next to a picture of a very happy person. Truth be told, the illustration has to fit the article on the other side of the page too. But the way we look at it, it’s the perfect picture for both of our front page stories. Why? Because everyone wants to be happy. Everyone wants to have reasons to smile. But realistically, all of us have many reasons to be unhappy. The causes can be problems that are monumental, unfixable, and definitely not imaginary. Some people live with unrelenting, agonizing pain. Many are dealing with serious financial issues and major health problems. All of us have lost friends and family members in death. With all of those things and more, how can anyone be truly happy? Aren’t at least fleeting thoughts of ending it all perfectly understandable sometimes? That’s debatable. We’ll get back to that in a moment. First, consider that there are people who suffer through extreme situations that are far worse than anything you or I have ever endured, but their outlook about it all is genuinely cheerful and optimistic. How? Why?

AUGUSTARX.COM

Having a sense of humor Part 8 of our 5-part series on the senses

According to market reports, people worldwide spend about a billion dollars a month on medicines to control anxiety. That is a lot of money. And in many cases it is a long-term prescription that comes with uncertain success and a host of side effects. Meanwhile, numerous medical studies have established that laughter is an effective, natural, free mental health remedy, as one source put it, “the ultimate stress relief medicine.” Humor releases brain chemicals that counteract stress and anxiety. That is a good thing because chronic stress can weaken our immune system. Laughter also prompts the release of natural pain killers, and having a good sense of humor reduces the odds of being depressed (or the depth of one’s depression). Studies have shown that having a good sense of humor helps promote social skills and interacting with others. As the previous installment in this series noted, loneliness is considered to be a massive contributor to poor health and to overall healthcare costs. Humor is an incredibly complex process. But does everyone have this uniquely human sense? Please see LAUGH page 6

Please see LIVE! page 8

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

THE FIRST 40 YEARS ARE ALWAYS THE HARDEST

Signs and Symptoms Emotional Features • Intense guilt or shame • Anger or resentment • Grief • Feelings of betrayal • Difficulty experiencing forgiveness or self-compassion

THOUGHTS ABOUT

PARENTHOOD THOUGHTS 60

by Dr. Warren Umansky, PhD You believe in limiting screen time for your young children. In fact, you haven’t allowed your two-year-old daughter to have a tablet. At her birthday party, some friends came over with their two-year-old son. He had a tablet with him. Thirty minutes after they arrived, you saw your daughter and friends’ son sitting on the sofa staring at his tablet screen. You wandered over and saw them watching a Winny the Pooh cartoon. You didn’t do or say anything. Thirty minutes later, they were sitting in the same place looking at the screen. Fifteen minutes later, they still were there. What do you do? A. You realize that your decision about no screen time for your child is correct, but you don’t do anything right now. B. You see how much your child is enjoying the activity and decide to purchase a tablet for her. C. You ask them if they want to go outside to play. D. They are quiet and not bothering anyone. You leave them alone.

If you answered: A. You are both fascinated and frightened by how your daughter is glued to the screen. You have read about how children get addicted to screens. You see it in front of you now. You don’t want to start conflicts at the birthday party, but it might be right, after more than 75 minutes, to redirect the children to other activities. B. Stay the course. Hopefully, your child is learning and developing well because you spend time indoors and outdoors with healthy activities. The two-year-old mind and body are prepared to soak up whatever are presented. That needn’t be from a screen. It is the time to give names to animals, colors, shapes, letters, numbers, foods, and other objects. It is the time to make coloring and drawing on paper (not walls!) fun. It is the time to run, jump, hop, and climb and to learn how to catch, throw, and kick balls. It is the time to expose your child to books and stories and to teach how to turn pages carefully. Enjoy the “wonderful twos”! C. If you ask, expect the answer “No”. When given the choice of going outside or staying indoors to play on a tablet, the answer most always will be staying indoors. You will hear kids say it is too hot or too cold outdoors. Think back to your days as a child when you probably were outdoors most of the time. In the present case, you might say to your daughter and your friends’ son that it will be time to put the tablet down in a few minutes to do another activity. Giving them some advance notice helps them to prepare for the change. D. Depending on what else is going on at the party, you might accept that they are quiet and engaged in an activity that is enjoyable for the birthday girl. You also have learned a lot more about the power of screens. Screens are not evil, but they should not be a babysitter or your child’s primary source of learning and entertainment. You, the parent, assumed that responsibility at your child’s conception. It’s a big responsibility and a full-time one that belongs to mother and father, whether living together or apart. Screens can be a valuable tool to help with teaching early academic skills (colors, shapes, counting, letters, numbers, etc.) and be a time-controlled part of many other enjoyable indoor and outdoor activities. Dr. Umansky has a child behavioral health practice in Augusta.

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

MORAL INJURY: “I DID WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER?”

Editor’s note: Written by local mental healthcare professionals, this series explores how people may think and act when affected by common and lesser-known mental health conditions.

James is a 40-year-old military veteran who has spent years trying to make sense of something that happened during his service. At the time, he believed he was following orders and doing what was necessary to protect the people around him. But one particular event never left him. He remembers the details clearly. He remembers what he was told to do. Most importantly, he remembers what happened afterward. Years later, James still thinks about it. He doesn’t describe himself as afraid. He describes himself as ashamed. “I know I was following orders,” he tells his therapist. “But that doesn’t change what happened.” He has withdrawn from friends and family. He avoids conversations about his military service. He has difficulty forgiving himself and sometimes wonders whether he deserves to feel happy. James may be experiencing moral injury — a form of psychological and emotional suffering that can develop when a person participates in, witnesses, fails to prevent, or experiences an event that violates deeply held moral beliefs or values. Moral injury is not simply guilt. It can challenge a person’s identity, worldview, relationships, and understanding of who they are. What Is Moral Injury? Moral injury describes the psychological, emotional, and sometimes spiritual distress that can follow experiences that violate a person’s deeply held moral beliefs. The term was initially used extensively in the context of military service, but moral injury can occur in many professions and circumstances. It may develop when someone: • Does something they believe is morally wrong • Fails to act when they believe they should have • Sees another person commit a serious moral violation • Is forced to make an impossible ethical decision • Experiences betrayal by a trusted authority or institution Moral injury is not currently a standalone psychiatric diagnosis. Instead, it is a framework clinicians may use to understand a particular type of psychological suffering. It can overlap with conditions such as PTSD, depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders, but it is different.

Cognitive Patterns • Persistent questioning of one’s actions • “If only…” or “I should have…” thoughts • Negative beliefs about oneself or others • Loss of trust • Feeling that one’s identity has fundamentally changed Behavioral Patterns • Social withdrawal • Avoiding reminders of the event • Difficulty discussing what happened • Substance use as a means of coping • Self-punishing behaviors Relational and Spiritual Impact • Difficulty trusting others • Withdrawal from previously meaningful relationships • Conflict with religious or spiritual beliefs • Loss of meaning or purpose • Feeling disconnected from one’s community Functional Impact • Occupational difficulties • Relationship strain • Depression or anxiety • Sleep disruption • Increased risk of substance misuse • In severe cases, thoughts of self-harm or suicide What Causes Moral Injury? Military and Combat Experiences • Participating in actions that result in the death or suffering of others • Witnessing civilian or fellow-service-member casualties • Decisions made under extreme circumstances Healthcare Settings • Being unable to provide Please see THOUGHTS page 3

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

THOUGHTS... from page 2 desired care because of limited resources • Making difficult end-oflife decisions • Witnessing preventable suffering or death • Feeling that institutional policies conflict with patient needs Law Enforcement and First Responders • Using force • Witnessing traumatic events • Being unable to save someone • Perceived failures to protect others Civilian Experiences • Betrayal or abuse by a trusted person • Serious ethical conflicts at work • Experiencing or witnessing significant wrongdoing • Situations in which a person feels they violated their own values The experience itself does not automatically cause moral injury. Two people can experience the same event and respond very differently depending on their values, circumstances, interpretation of the event, and available support. Moral Injury vs. PTSD Moral injury and PTSD can occur together, but they are not the same. PTSD is primarily characterized by symptoms such as intrusive memories, avoidance, hyperarousal, and changes in mood and cognition following trauma. Moral injury centers more heavily on violations of deeply held moral beliefs and the resulting guilt, shame, anger, betrayal, or loss of meaning. For example, a person with PTSD may be terrified when reminded of a traumatic event. A person experiencing moral injury may instead think: “I can’t forgive myself for what I did.” Some individuals experience both. Recognizing the distinction

can help clinicians develop treatment that addresses not only fear and trauma symptoms, but also guilt, shame, identity, and meaning. Common Misconceptions X “Moral injury means someone did something terrible.” Not necessarily. Moral injury can result from witnessing wrongdoing, being unable to prevent harm, experiencing betrayal, or believing one failed to live up to one’s values.

X “If they knew they were

following orders, they wouldn’t feel guilty.” Understanding intellectually that an action was required does not necessarily resolve the emotional or moral conflict surrounding it.

X “Therapy should convince

them that what happened wasn’t their fault.” Treatment is not about simply telling someone they are innocent or guilty. It involves carefully exploring responsibility, values, context, grief, forgiveness, and meaning. Treatment There is no single treatment specifically designated for moral injury. Treatment is often individualized based on the person’s symptoms, circumstances, beliefs, and co-occurring conditions. Approaches may include: • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) • Trauma-focused therapies • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) • Compassion-focused approaches A major component of recovery may involve distinguishing appropriate responsibility from excessive or misplaced responsibility. Individuals can learn to recognize the difference between: “I made a choice I regret” and “I am permanently a bad person.” Those statements may feel similar, but they have very

different implications for recovery. Treatment may also involve reconnecting with: • Personal values • Relationships • Spiritual or religious beliefs • Community • Service to others • A sense of future purpose If moral injury occurs alongside PTSD, depression, anxiety, or substance use, those conditions should also be addressed. In situations involving significant suicidal thinking or self-harm, immediate safety assessment and appropriate crisis intervention are essential. Prognosis Recovery from moral injury is possible, although it may take time. For some individuals, healing involves learning to hold a painful experience as part of their history without allowing it to completely define their identity. Treatment can help individuals develop a more balanced understanding of what happened and determine how they want to live moving forward. Some people ultimately find that their experience leads to renewed purpose, stronger relationships, or a deeper commitment to the values that matter most to them. Sometimes the deepest wounds come from what we believe we did, failed to do, or were forced to witness. Healing begins when individuals can examine those experiences with honesty, compassion, and appropriate clinical support. About Us IPS provides inpatient and outpatient mental health services, with or without a referral, to help patients and their families progress through the care journey. To make an appointment, call 706-204-1366 or visit integratedpsych.care.

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HOW DOES BOTOX WORK? This is an excellent question on multiple levels. For one thing, botox is related to a super-deadly toxin, botulinum, so potent that a lethal dose can be measured in billionths of a gram, the tiniest fatal dose of any known toxin. Yet doctors prescribe it for what seems to be an everincreasing range of applications. One of the earliest uses that caught the public eye was the use of botox injections to reduce the appearance of wrinkles. Since then, botox has been found to be an effective treatment for migraine headaches. Doctors use it to help stop profuse perspiration and to reduce urinary urgency and its resulting incontinence. What’s next, botox for fighting cavities? Let’s not get carried away. There is a simple explanation for why botox is so versatile (and so safe). Think of a topical antibiotic for comparison. It can be used to treat a cut on your foot, a scratch on your knee, a minor burn on your arm, or the site where you pulled a splinter from your thumb. Its mechanism of action is pretty much the same everywhere. Botox is similar. It blocks the release of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that activates muscles and certain glands. If it is injected near frown lines or “crow’s feet,” muscles relax and wrinkles soften; injected near sweat glands, they stop firing and perspiration decreases; in certain facial, neck or shoulder muscles, migraines are prevented or their intensity reduced; an injection into the bladder wall diminishes contractions and lessens urgency. How did a one-time bio-weapon become such a useful tool in the arsenal of doctors? By accident. An ophthalmologist used it to treat a patient with strabismus (crossed eyes). It worked, helping overactive eye muscles relax, but doctors noticed patient’s frown lines almost disappeared. The rest is history, as they say. And it’s safe because medical applications are used in doses that are millions of times lower than lethal levels.

MEDICALEXAMINER AIKEN-AUGUSTA’S MOST SALUBRIOUS NEWSPAPER www.AugustaRx.com

The Medical Examiner’s mission: to provide information on topics of health and wellness of interest to general readers, to offer information to assist readers in wisely choosing options that promote better health, and to serve as a central source pf salubrious news within every part of the Augusta area’s medical community. Direct editorial and advertising inquiries to: Daniel Pearson, Publisher & Editor Email: Dan@AugustaRx.com Augusta Medical Examiner PO Box 397, Augusta Georgia 30903-0397 (706) 284-7287 Website: www.AugustaRx.com • Email: Dan@AugustaRx.com www.Facebook.com/AugustaRx Opinions expressed by the writers herein are their own and/or their respective institutions. Neither the Augusta Medical Examiner, Pearson Graphic 365 Inc., nor its agents or employees take any responsibility for the accuracy of submitted information, which is presented for general informational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment, consult your doctor. The appearance of advertisements in this publication does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services advertised. © 2026 PEARSON GRAPHIC 365 INC.

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

#266 IN A SERIES

Who is this?

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

ADVENTURES IN

Middle Age MY BLOOD SUGAR ALMOST BOUGHT ME A BOAT, PART TWO BY J.B. COLLUM

o be remembered as the father of some major branch of science or medicine is a high honor, indeed. Such a man is pictured here, known (along with Rudolph Virchow; see this space in the 3-21-25 issue of the Examiner) as one of the founders of medical pathology. This is James Paget. Correction: Sir James Paget, namesake of numerous diseases, personal surgeon of Queen Victoria and the Prince of Wales, holder of a baronetcy, awarded countless appointments and honorary degrees, and by most accounts the busiest surgeon in London for many years, seldom working less than 16 or 17 hours a day. It all sounds like someone who waltzed down the garden path to fame and acclaim, although in Paget’s case, nothing could be further from the truth (although a garden path was involved: in 1834, at age 20, he published an illustrated book on the flora of East Norfolk). That same year (1834) he began his medical education, and made a splash almost immediately by discovering the parasite responsible for trichinosis, a disease usually caused by eating undercooked pork. Again: at age 20! In 1836 he passed the Royal College of Surgeons exam, qualifying him to practice medicine. Considering his stellar academic career and newly minted M.D. degree, he was about to become a wealthy and successful physician, right? Not exactly. As any proprietor of a new business can attest, the early going is often very challenging. In Paget’s case, the launch of his practice was the beginning of seven years of poverty. Things only got marginally better after that. He was named surgeon at a charity teaching hospital and warden of its students, a combination registrar, comptroller, student advisor and dorm monitor. His surgeon post was in name only: sometimes his warden duties occupied entire weeks, and in fact, he literally lived within the hospital walls. During these lean years he received no family assistance, since his father’s business had failed. Even when Paget’s own economic picture began to brighten, he stayed impoverished by choice, spending much of his income to help pay off his father’s debts, a mission that took 14 years. After almost 20 years of almost invisibly practicing his craft, his reputation as a great pathologist and physiologist gradually and solidly established by the early 1850s, mainly through the wide dissemination of his published lectures and discoveries, and his uncommon skills as a surgeon. Ironically, however, the quote he is best remembered for was his comment about a famous trial of the day (known as the Pimlico Mystery) where a woman was acquitted of poisoning her husband. “Now that she has been acquitted for murder and cannot be tried again, she should tell us in the interest of science how she did it.” Paget died in London in 1899 at the age of 85.

If you missed last week’s installment, choice available while I continued drinkmy buddy Louie and I had gone to Bass ing water and monitoring the situation. Pro Shops to fantasize about buying a It was a very good thing that the water boat neither of us could afford—and nei- fountain, bench and restrooms were all in ther of our wives would allow us to bring the same area, because for the next hour home alive. I traveled in a continuous loop between Before going there, however, we the three. stopped for breakfast at Bojangles. WithWhile I waited for the number to fall, a out my wife present to supervise me, woman sat down nearby with the cutest I ordered a steak-and-egg little puppy I had ever seen. I fried my biscuit, a gravy biscuit and a She was half Labrador retrievlarge order of Bo-Tato Rounds er and half golden retriever. calculator trying to with ketchup—a quantity of The woman and her husband carbohydrates my calculator add up my carbs. had just gotten her for their died trying to add up. 11-year-old daughter back About an hour later while we were home in Jacksonville, Florida. looking at boats, I began feeling loopy Her father-in-law was traveling with and strangely euphoric. I broke out in a them and had wanted to stop at Bass Pro profuse sweat, my heart began fluttering Shops on the way home simply because and I found myself seriously considering he liked the stores and everyone needed buying one of the boats. a break from the long drive. That final symptom confirmed that I With permission, I sat beside the pupwas not in my right mind. py and petted her. Her fur was the softest Fortunately, the FreeStyle Libre 3 Plus I had ever felt. She melted into my hands continuous glucose monitor I had recent- and fell asleep while I continued stroking ly begun wearing recognized the probthe soft fur of her head and back. lem. Alarms sounded simultaneously on I doubt the puppy did anything meamy phone and watch. surable for my blood sugar, but she My blood sugar was 334 and still certainly lowered my anxiety. For a little climbing. It eventually rose above 340 while, instead of staring at the number before beginning to fall. on my watch and imagining all the ways I knew enough to understand that a the day might end badly, I concentrated reading that high, accompanied by sweat- on that sweet little dog sleeping beside ing, confusion and heart fluttering, was me. not something I should ignore. In retroI think they chose a good puppy for spect, since it remained above 300 and their daughter. I was experiencing symptoms, I should She also helped me through a difficult have sought medical attention rather little episode, even though she had no than trying to manage it from a bench idea she was doing it. inside Bass Pro Shops. Eventually, my glucose level dropped It wasn’t the best idea, but at the time, below 300 and continued moving in the I decided to try a different remedy. right direction. After I felt somewhat betLouie became understandably conter, Louie and I spent a little more time cerned and guided me to a bench near looking around while he chastised me for the water fountains and restrooms. Fortu- my breakfast choices. nately, I still had my Bojangles cup and I reminded him that I already have a some ice, so I repeatedly filled it with wa- wife assigned to that chore, so he quickly ter from the fountain. High blood sugar changed the subject. can cause dehydration, and dehydration I still didn’t feel especially well, so we can make the situation worse, so I kept decided it was time to go. drinking. Before I started wearing a continuous After about 30 minutes, my reading glucose monitor, I didn’t fully underwas still above 300. I bought some beef stand how beneficial one could be. A jerky because I was hungry and needed finger-stick reading tells you what your something that wouldn’t add another blood sugar is at that moment. The mountain of carbohydrates to the one I continuous monitor shows you what it had already consumed. is doing all day—where it is going, how The jerky itself wasn’t a treatment. quickly it is getting there and what hapIt was merely the least destructive food Please see ADVENTURES page 8

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

Apparently, she wanted to leave absolutely no doubt about what she wished to drink. I heard Katie repeatedly telling her that she was getting the tea. I could even hear the evidence: the refrigerator door opening, bottles rattling, ice dropping into a cup, and tea gurgling from the pitcher. All the while, the “tea, tea, tea” machine gun continued to fire. I thought I should weigh in on the situation. “I could be wrong,” I called loudly enough for them to hear me, “but I think Freyja might want some tea to drink.” Of course, Katie thanked me for pointing that out. At least, I assume that was what she said. I could not quite make it out. I To our astonishment, sometimes progress am sure it was not sarcastic. seems to blossom out of nowhere, like a Another breakthrough came earlier this sprout breaking through a crack in a conweek when we saw an online photo of crete sidewalk. But for us to see that little Freyja using a pen to draw. That may seem sprout, the plant must have been working like a simple thing, but I had never seen hard beneath the concrete for a long time. her do it before. Its progress may have been out of sight, but On Thursday, I had to pick her up from the plant was no less persistent. school early because she was not feeling It often happens that way with Freyja. I well. While I was there, I had a chance to will notice her doing something new, and speak with her teacher and ask about the when I excitedly mention it to her drawing. She explained that teachers, my wife Lorie, or my Just because they had started Freyja with a daughter Katie, they usually tell dry-erase marker and a whiteme she has been working on it for we can’t see it board, and Freyja had really a while. She had been showing doesn’t mean it taken to it. promise, but only recently made You can probably imagine isn’t there. the breakthrough where I could what immediately went onto see it. my shopping list. That is right. Over the past few weeks, I have seen Freyja is getting a whiteboard and some several of those little sprouts push through markers. the concrete. Our only challenge will be figuring out First came the revelation that Freyja can, how to remove dry-erase ink from everyin fact, use a fork correctly—and not just thing other than the whiteboard. Oh well. I for one bite. I put a fork in her hand and am sure it will be easier to clean up than a helped her stab the first bite-sized piece of Turdnado. food on her plate. To my delight and surIf you don’t know what a Turdnado is, prise, she kept using the fork until she was you will have to go back and read some finished. of my earlier articles. Then again, you can I clapped and made a fuss over her acprobably imagine. The word is highly decomplishment—probably a little too much. scriptive of the phenomenon. She wrinkled her brow and looked at me The lesson I have taken from these past as if I had lost my mind. Apparently, she few weeks is that we should not give up thought using a fork was considerably less hope just because we have not seen progastonishing than I did. ress for a while. Sometimes progress is Then, about a week ago, I was in my happening where we cannot see it. Somebedroom with the door open when, out of one is teaching, encouraging, practicing, the blue, I heard a childlike voice saying, and learning—and then, when everything “Tea. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tea.” is finally ready, a new skill pushes through That does not adequately represent how the surface. many times it said “tea.” It sounded like So we celebrate each breakthrough when a machine gun firing in a steady cadence, it appears: a fork held correctly, a clearly though fortunately without the deadly communicated request for tea, or a marker results. moving across a whiteboard. I soon figured out that it was Freyja Each one may look as if it sprang up touching the picture of a glass of tea on overnight. But underneath the surface, her communication device, which is basiFreyja has been working hard all along— cally an iPad running special software that like that persistent little sprout finally translates her taps of images into words. breaking through the concrete.

Special Forces

Parenting

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5 #41 IN A SERIES

Who is this?

Not everyone in healthcare can be Florence Nightingale, right? Despite the long-running series on page 4, there are clunkers in medicine, and we will examine some of them in this series. Unfortunately, there’s enough material to keep this side of the page going for a while.

lot of evil has been profiled on this side of the page, but this woman might be the most monstrous person we have profiled yet. Her name was Beulah George Tann (after the first names of her mother and father), but she was known as Georgia Tann. Chances are you’ve never heard her name before, but she was a serial killer and the most prolific kidnapper of all time. What makes her crimes especially heinous is that her victims were anywhere from a few hours old to toddlers. What they often had in common was being born to poor families or single mothers. As director of the Tennessee Children’s Home Society, Tann could operate in broad daylight as a legitimate and benevolent agency under the guise of ensuring the best possible care for vulnerable children. The business model of the Society was basically this: steal as many children as possible and by any means necessary, then sell them to the highest bidder. They weren’t snatching children off the street; the Society would take children from unwed mothers at birth “for medical care;” the mothers were told their child died. If a family was experiencing illness or unemployment, the Society would “temporarily” place their children in an orphanage. Families would later discover their child had been adopted out, or there was no record of the child ever having been brought there. Single parents would drop their children off at nursery schools, only to be told when returning to pick them up that welfare agents had taken the children. Tann also arranged to take immediate custody of babies born to inmates at mental institutions and prisons. At a time when Tennessee law capped adoption fees at $7, Tann charged as much as $5,000, targeting wealthy families from California and New York. Her clients included Joan Crawford, June Allyson and Dick Powell, and the governor of New York. Tann charged clients for background checks that she never conducted, and created fictional background stories for babies. Investigators were to discover that babies who couldn’t be adopted were killed, or simply ignored and allowed to die from malnutrition. Tann’s brazen crime spree lasted from the 1920s into the 1950s and over that span authorities estimated that she stole more than 5,000 children and killed at least 19. Tann was never charged. The wheels were turning against her, but she died (at age 59) three days before Tennessee filed charges.

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

GUEST COLUMN BY BAD BILLY LAVEAU

OPTIMISM FOR YOUR HEALTH

Optimism versus pessimism. It is your choice. In olden days, after a country church wedding, the bride and the groom mounted a single horse and rode away. They could not afford a carriage. It was hard times back in Hoover days. After they rode a ways, a thunderstorm came up. The bride clung tightly to her new husband as they sheltered under a large oak tree to wait out the storm. Lightning struck the tree. The wife, the husband, and the horse all went to meet Jesus. At the wake, before the double burial, a wise old lady said, “It could’ve been worse. They could’ve lost the saddle.” In more modern times, twin third-grade boys came home from school to find a pile of horse manure in their playroom. The pessimistic twin cried out, “Get that stinking stuff out of my playroom.” The optimistic twin jumped with joy and shouted, “Where’s the pony?” In the last presidential election, emotions ran high. Republicans jumped for joy. Democrats cried with anguish. Stoics looked squint-eyed with

calculated thoughts. How do I benefit from these events, many thought. Stock market people adjusted portfolios. Some went to church, read their Bibles, and prayed for guidance. Others went to bars, got drunk, and let profanities roll. Others stuck their heads in the sand with the idea that none of this affects me. The past is set in stone. Reactions are choices. You can’t change history. You can change how you react to past events. If you follow Machiavelli (The Prince, written about 500 years ago in Italy) or Sun Tzu (The Art of War, written about 2500 years ago in China) or Bible teachings (about 2,000 years ago Jesus said, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” “Judge not, lest you be judged likewise”), you should never REACT to events. Instead you ACT. Think, then choose the best course of action that benefits you and does not harm others. If you have a medical disorder and there is a treatment available, you must decide if the benefits outweigh the side effects. For example, if you have

BASED ON A TRUE STORY (most of the time) A series by Bad Billy Laveau

post-nasal drip and the medications would cause your hair to fall out, it would be wise to continue sniffing. But if you have cancer and the medications make your hair fall out, don’t be unwise. Take the medicine, shave your head, wear a cap or wig, and go on living. Few if any choices are clean and hazard free. Do the benefits outweigh the side effects? That is the pivotal question. Decades ago a stock broker said to me, “I must tell you and all my clients about a stock. Most likely no one will buy it. The stock does not pay dividends. They will never split the stock. It costs $800 a share.” I was used to buying stocks for less than $40 a share and was hoping for a stock split soon. For this new stock the benefits look questionable and the risks looked high. I thought of buying two shares for $1600 and

selling one if it doubled. At the time I thought I made the correct short-term decision. Some decisions are time sensitive. This one was. I decided to pass. Recently, a single share of that stock I could have bought for $800 was worth $750,000. Yes, it was Berkshire Hathaway run by Warren Buffett, the Oracle of Omaha. I made a horrible long-term decision. I could sit in the corner and slap myself for my failure. Or I could learn from the event. Important decisions still need to be made. The most important ones often involve health. That old devil, chronic low back pain, has settled upon my lumbar spine. I have worn out Tylenol and Ibuprofen. Back braces helped some. Then my pain management doctor prescribed Lyrica. It made me dizzy, but the pain was reduced significantly. Do I take it and go dizzy? Or keep it in the bottle and suffer the pain? My life right now dictates the answer. If I were working daily and flying my plane on business, the answer would be no! Endurance of pain is a small price to pay for working and living a

normal life. However, I am retired. Enduring chronic pain has no benefit. I will take the Lyrica and adjust to the dizziness. As I told my kids, “I must give up wing-walking in air shows, juggling straight razors, and bungee jumping.” A small price to pay to avoid falls, concussions, multiple bruises, and broken bones while staying out of the ER. On a practical note, I will no long go the bathroom at night without turning on a light. I will be more careful on steps. My driving will be much more defensive. Always obey the speed limit. (85% of traffic deaths involve going 10+ MPH over the speed limit.). I shall go into the “grandpa mode” as directed by my school teacher daughter. Not a big sacrifice at all to live longer and heathier. How you ACT after a given event is usually far more important to your future than the event itself. We tend to find what we seek. Switch on your optimism light. Shine brightly in a world of semi-darkness. No coupons or insurance cards needed. Your choice is free.

LAUGH... from page 1 Well, that’s a complicated question. Ask 100 people — heck, ask 100,000 people — if they have a sense of humor and every single one of them will say yes. But sprinkled among your polling group will be quite a few people whose sense of humor is extremely well hidden. Most of us know such people. They seem devoid of humor, but sociologists feel that in many cases such people are unaware that others view them as humorless. Their sense of humor may not be yours, but it is theirs and they are aware of it. The curious thing about humor, as mentioned earlier, is that it is uniquely human. Tell your dog, cat, parakeet, or pet turtle all the funniest jokes you know and there will be no reaction. Hire a stand-up, the best you can find; the reaction will be the same. And when it comes to being “uniquely human,” we have already established that

most of us would have a hard time saying that having a sense of humor is “universally human.” It isn’t, and it’s not simply because some people are Debbie Downer. In fact (since we mentioned her), part of having a socially acceptable sense of humor lies in knowing the things that are inappropriate subjects for humor: someone else’s misfortune; laughing at another person’s expense or at traits they cannot change, like their height or ethnicity. That isn’t humor; it’s cruelty. The simple act of “getting” a joke is actually a sophisticated frontal lobe brain exercise. Many jokes set listeners up to expect a certain direction or conclusion, but the punchline pulls the rug out from under the hearer and goes off on an unexpected tangent. We have to be able to shift between literal and playful interpretations of given situations.

Example: on the way to his very first day of school a little boy looks over at his dad and asks, “Dad, how long do I have to go to school?” “Believe it nor not, son, until you’re around 18 years old,” answers the dad. The child quietly absorbs this information as they continue the drive to school. When they pull up in front of the school the child starts to get out of the car, then stops to ask, “You’ll remember to come back and get me when I’m 18, right?” Understanding the subtle shifts that many jokes are based upon is why you’ll get the same reaction telling them to a 5-year-old as you would get telling them to your dog. Of course, later, when they become teenagers, you’ll get the same reaction because they despise you. But that’s another story.

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

TRYTHISDISH by Kim Beavers, MS, RDN, CDCES Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Chef Coach, Author Follow Kim on Facebook: facebook.com/eatingwellwithkimb

WHITE CHICKEN CHILI Here’s a flavorful chili recipe that’s good any time of year

The Chicken • 1-½ tablespoon Salt-free zesty seasoning blend (like Mrs. Dash original) • 4 cups leftover chicken; shredded OR • 1-½ pound skinless, boneless chicken breast The Chili • 1 Jalapeño Peppers; cut in half and seeds removed • 1 Poblano Pepper; cut in half and seeds removed • 4 tomatillos; paper skins removed and cut in half • ¼ cup cilantro; rough chop • 1 Large sweet onion, chopped • 4 Cloves Garlic (minced) • 1 tablespoon Chili Powder • 1 large or 2 small zucchini; chopped • 2 cans reduced sodium Great Northern Beans; drained and rinsed • 4 cups of reduced sodium Chicken • Juice of one lime • Cilantro (optional garnish) If using raw chicken, trim all visible fat from the chicken and season with spice blend and set aside. Place the peppers, tomatillos, and cilantro in a blender with about 2 tablespoons water.

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Blend until smooth and set aside. Add the onion to the slow cooker place the seasoned chicken, or leftover shredded chicken plus seasoning, on top of the onions. Add the garlic, chili powder, zucchini, beans, broth and tomatillo sauce. Cook on high for 6 hours or low for 8 hours. Once done, remove the chicken from the slow cooker and shred the chicken (unless you used the left-

over already shredded). Add the chicken back to the slow cooker and combine. Serve with lime juice and cilantro. Yield: 8 Servings (Serving size: 1 1/3 cups) Nutrition Breakdown: Calories 180, Fat 3g (0.5g saturated fat), Cholesterol 60mg, Sodium 400mg, Carbohydrate 16g, Fiber 4g, Protein 23g, Potassium 560mg. Plate Plan: 1 Starch, 3 Lean Meats, ½ Vegetable

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ADVENTURES... from page 4 pens after you eat something that seemed like a good idea at Bojangles. Since that episode, I have been keeping notes about what I eat and watching what each meal does to my glucose level. I am learning what I can eat, what I need to limit and that, apparently, if my carbohydrate count reaches a level requiring a NASA-grade calculator, the problem isn’t with the calculator. I am also learning that insulin is not a magic pill against poor decisions. Neither is drinking water. Neither is beef jerky. And neither, regrettably, is petting a puppy—although that one still deserves further scientific investigation. The monitor gives me information I never had before, and that information is helping me make better choices. More importantly, its alarm warned me when my own confused brain might not have recognized how serious the situation was becoming.

For anyone with diabetes—or anyone concerned about developing it—I believe continuous glucose monitoring is worth discussing with a healthcare professional. Insurance coverage can require meeting certain criteria, but nonprescription monitors are now available for some adults. Just remember that the monitor can only warn you. It cannot stop you from ordering a steak-and-egg biscuit, a gravy biscuit and a large order of Bo-Tato Rounds. For that, I evidently still need my wife. Or self-discipline. Okay, okay, stop laughing. My wife it is then. J.B. Collum, the author of this column and Special Forces Parenting, is a local novelist, humorist and columnist who wants to be Mark Twain when he grows up. He may be reached at johnbcollum@gmail.com

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Suicide is a complex issue that is rarely if ever caused by attitude alone. Having said that, CDC research says that a person’s attitude and overall outlook on life are among the most powerful protective factors for overall mental health, and suicide prevention in particular. It’s not that a positive attitude eliminates risk, but it can foster qualities like resilience and coping, and something else that is crucial: the ability and willingness to seek help rather than surrendering to sadness and pessimism. One of the reasons for this phenomenon is that people with a more optimistic outlook are likely to interpret troubles, sadness and stress as temporary and fixable. They will reach out for that assistance, follow suggestions and be a compliant patient and, in most cases, turn the corner. The challenge, of course, is not the realization that help is needed when the sun is shining brightly; it’s doing so when dark storm clouds are overhead and maybe it has already started to rain. Mental health experts say the smallest things can make a huge difference in our darkest moments. When the tendency might be to think in terms of catastrophe, of permanent doom and gloom, if a person can instead think, “What can I do to get through this day?” — or just the next half hour, or even 10 minutes. There are many similarly simple strategies that can be employed and which are helpful, which brings us back to that question about whether or not fleeting thoughts of suicide are understandable. Mental health professionals deal with issues like these every day, and they know the difference between passive general observations and active intent. One may just be a signal, while the other might very well be an unfolding crisis. It’s unlikely that a clinician would hear someone say “Aren’t at least fleeting thoughts of ending it all perfectly understandable sometimes?” and just brush it off with, “Sure, things are bad. I wouldn’t worry about it.” Instead, the response would undoubtedly be closer to, “It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed. Let’s talk about how you can deal with your circumstances in a better way.” They can teach a person to reshape their thinking. To transform “I’ll never recover from this” to “This is temporary and it can change.” To go from “This ruins everything” to “This affects one part of my life, not all of it.” Psychologists and psychiatrists are very good at helping people get through the dark chapters in life. They can help as the storm clouds darken, but even more so when we turn to them beforehand. Anyone who needs help can discuss the matter with their doctor, but due to things like cost and scheduling issues (“Yes, we have some openings the third week of April...” Next year?), a more immediate option that’s free and always available, 24/7/365, is the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 9-8-8. Whether the issue is mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns, or you simply need someone to talk to, 9-8-8 is available to call, to text, or to do have an online chat. You can get in touch about yourself, or for a friend or loved one. Help is available. You are never alone in your struggles.

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

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CRASH

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COURSE

More Americans have died on US roads since 2000 than in World Wars I & II combined

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{

onsidering modern cars and traffic, the radio station we want to listen to, or two conclusions are inescapable: it’s to choose from hundreds of satellite radio a wonder there aren’t more wrecks; and stations or thousands of available podcasts. drivers need to be hyper-vigilant as never Nobody would say that any of the indibefore. vidual interactions we have with such a Do those conclusions surprise you? They screen are in themselves dangerous. might, because we’ve used this space in And that is precisely what can make previous installments to discuss all the them very dangerous: that we don’t view many ways vehicles and roadways are bethem as potential distractions. coming safer. Drivers are being In fact, to underscore the assisted as never before by tiny role they play, traffic lane monitors, fatigue alerts, safety engineers call them IT’S THE and external aids rumble strips “micro-distractions.” to instantly alert us if we don’t LITTLE THINGS They also say that driving stay in our lane. is a continuous stream of Our contention is that for micro-decisions — speeding every safety feature there is a up or slowing down a little, corresponding unsafety feature. adjusting lane position constantly, as well In other words, there are unsafe things as spacing between our car and the car masquerading as perfectly safe, and driver ahead, recognizing and adjusting for potenbehaviors that no one would call dangertial hazards (pedestrians, cars entering the ous — which is exactly why they can be traffic flow, weather, etc, etc). dangerous. When one of those micro-decisions Here are some examples. collides with a micro-distraction at exactly It is illegal to look at, play with, talk on, the wrong moment, something bad can or text with a cell phone while driving. happen. Even it was legal, every responsible adult And just think: all of the micro-distracwould have the good sense to avoid any of tions we enumerated above are a very those activities while operating a multi-ton incomplete list. What about looking at vehicle at hundreds of feet per second. passengers while conversing? Or giving And that’s why no one does any of those those rowdy kids of yours in the back seat things. No one. the reverse stink-eye using your rear-view And yet it is perfectly legal to gaze upon mirror? What about reaching for sunglasses an interactive dashboard screen while driv- or a drink from the cupholder? What about ing. That screen might contain a real-time that dropped change or French fry or M&M? map to show us exactly where we are and What about simply daydreaming, thinkwarn us that a turn we need to make is just ing about work, your shopping list, chores ahead. That promotes safety for sure. waiting at home, conversations you had It might have climate controls we can ad- earlier in the day — or need to have later in just to stay comfortable, therefore keeping the day? What about that billboard? What’s us alert and undistracted by extreme heat it trying to say? or cold. And, perish the thought, but what if you The screen might contain vital safeare one of those super-rare closet criminals, ty alerts, warning of low tire pressure, a the kind who actually does the things we door that’s ajar, that someone forgot to said earlier that no one does? What if you buckle their seatbelt, or that maintenance text and drive? What if you talk on your is required. We will be notified if we’re cell while driving? getting low on fuel, and if we don’t refuel Thankfully such people are extremely soon, we’ll get updates on how many miles rare, but they do exist. For all the rest of of driving remain for this tank. All good us, nothing discussed in this column is information. inherently dangerous. They are little things. The screen probably also contains enMicro-things. But add them all up and they tertainment options, allowing us to choose can spell trouble. Don’t let that happen!

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SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

HEAD CASECHRONICLES

Confessions of a Semi‑Stable Human

MY BANK THINKS WE’RE DATING

I got a letter in the mail today. Not from a relative. Not from an old friend. No, it was from a bank. I probably shouldn’t say the name of the bank but it rhymes with Hells Cargo. This is the very first thing the letter says as a bold headline: “Your relationship with us comes with valuable benefits.” My relationship. My relationship? We’ve never had a relationship, Hells Cargo. You are where my checking account goes to be judged. That’s not a relationship. A relationship is two people who know each other’s middle name. It’s when somebody brings

you soup when you’re sick. A relationship is when someone says, “You seem upset. Want to talk?” The bank has never once called and said, “Talmadge, you seem…emotionally distant from your savings goals.” No. The only time a bank notices me is when I accidentally overdraft by $3.17. Suddenly the relationship becomes…intense. I love how marketing departments stretch words until they scream for mercy. Everything’s a relationship now. I bought a bottle of ketchup; Apparently I now have a relationship with the ketchup company. I ordered socks online;

r! xamine E e h t g in for read

Now I’m receiving emails thanking me for being part of “the family.” The family? I bought socks! We didn’t pray together! The bank letter gets even better. Next heading: “Exclusive relationship benefits.” Exclusive. That’s another word that’s been beaten unconscious by marketing. Exclusive used to mean something; An exclusive club. An exclusive invitation. An exclusive interview. Now it means: “We sent this same letter to 4.7 million people.” Exclusive. Nothing says exclusive like bulk-rate postage! And what are these exclusive relationship benefits? Well, if I move enough money into the bank, and if I buy a house, and if I qualify, and if I meet seventeen conditions hidden in footnotes, I might receive a discount. That’s not an exclusive relationship benefit. That’s maybe an overdressed coupon. I especially love how corporations borrow language from human affection: Relationship. Partner. Family. Community. Trusted friend. Really? Let’s test that. Suppose I call customer

service and say: “I feel like our relationship has lost its spark.” See how far that gets me. Or: “I just don’t feel heard anymore. I think we need counseling.” Or what I would love to do is call and say, “Hi! This is Tal. I have an account with you, and, uhm, I’ve been feeling…kind of vulnerable. Could you come over and hold me?” That would put me ON HOLD - forever. Imagine if actual human relationships were described like bank advertisements: “Your marriage comes with competitive rates and flexible options.” “Maintain a minimum emotional balance to avoid monthly disappointment fees.” And then there’s my favorite phrase of all: “Your existing relationship with Hell’s Cargo unlocks benefits you may not get elsewhere.” That sounds less like a bank and more like a guy in a hoodie behind a bowling alley: “Hey buddy. You got a relationship? …Yeah, Good. I can unlock some benefits.” Marketing has become a giant game of verbal inflation. Every word gets promoted. Customers

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11 become family. Transactions become experiences. Advertisements become conversations. And checking accounts become relationships. Meanwhile, the rest of us are sitting here wondering: If this is a relationship, why am I the only one contributing emotionally? You know what I would respect? A letter that simply said: “Dear Customer: We would like more of your money. In exchange, we may charge you slightly less money. Sincerely, The Bank.” Now that’s honesty. No relationship. No journey. No partnership. No exclusive emotional benefits package. Just two adults looking each other in the eye. One wants money. The other wants interest. For once, we’d actually be speaking the same language. And that would be the most authentic relationship I’ve ever had…with a bank at least.

by the semi-anonymous TALMADGE of the YouTube channel, TALMADGE IS TRYING, kind of a mixture of George Carlin and Mister Rogers.

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The Examiners

by Dan Pearson

Hey, I got a question.

EXAMINER CROSSWORD

PUZZLE

Uh...the trumpet Somebody’s ministration is obviously looking for Mexican forming a immigrants. mariachi band.

19 22

25 30 36 40

37 42

46 51 53 57

58 65

CAPTIONTHIS Check out our new reader contest on p. 10 Write your most appropriate, clever, or funny caption to the photo shown for a chance to win whatever cool swag we eventually decide to give away! Email your entry to Dan@AugustaRx.com DEADLINE TO ENTER: 5:00 PM FRIDAY, SEPT. 25, 2026

Have fun!

E X 7 9 4 7 A 4 3 M 9 I 6 N9 5 8 2 E 4 1 9 R

S U D O K U

3 4 1 2 8 5 8 5 3 2 4 7 3 5

DIRECTIONS: Every line, vertical and horizontal, and all nine 9-square boxes must each contain the numbers 1 though 9. Solution on page 14.

32. Architect with work on Broad Street 33. Certified beginning 35. Self-esteem 37. Baby bed 40. Steroids starter 41. Yellow adjective 44. Take dinner 46. Word often following little and big 49. TIA as it’s more commonly known 50. Reeves movie 52. Arabic word meaning slave or servant 54. _____ time 55. A Great Lake 56. Monetary unit of Cambodia 58. Earthen pot 59. Coffee or tea adjective 60. Famous character created by Verne in 1870 61. Smile 64. Reverence; wonderment

QUOTATIONPUZZLE O S E M W S O H O F E U A T R E O F I I W L I H O U B L S V I S T I T K T I L E E R U R T

8 6 5 1 7 9 4 3 O 1 2 6T 8 9L 5 3 4 2 7

— Kahlil Gibran

DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may be used only once. Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto a second line. Solution on page 14.

Use the letters provided at bottom to create words to solve the puzzle above. All the listed letters following #1 are the first letters of the various words; the letters following #2 are the second letters of each word, and so on. Try solving words with letter clues or numbers with minimal choices listed. A sample is shown. Solution on page 14.

O 1 2 3 4 N 1 2 3

2 3 R 1 2 3 4

U 1 2 3

E 4 5

1 2 3 4

W 1 2 3 4

1 2

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3 — Dalai Lama

8 9 10 11

1.TTBCKWERYS 2.AFOOURHHEN 3.EEEOUNFLL 4.WEEMAL 5.SCK 6.T 7.I 8.V 9.E 10.L 11.Y

SAMPLE:

1. ILB 2. SLO 3. VI 4. NE 5. D =

L 1

O 2

V 3

E 4

I 1

S 2

B 1

L 2

I 3

N 4

D 5

NUMBER BY

20 21 ACROSS 1. _____ Gordon 24 6. When doubled, part of 26 27 28 29 DiChickO’s Cafe 10. Tracheal prefix 34 35 14. Slow (in music) 38 39 15. Like a bad fracture 16. Incline 43 44 45 17. ____ Flu 47 48 49 50 18. Infant mort. cause 19. It can be posted 52 20. John Wesley’s last name 54 55 56 22. Post-mortem 24. The usual, in brief 62 63 64 25. Brag 66 67 26. Word paired with albino 69 70 in “Smells Like Teen Spirit” 30. Small ball stand by Daniel R. Pearson © 2026 All rights reserved. 31. Cage material? 34. One and all DOWN 36. Just an ordinary Joe 1. Football variety 38. Sand hill (but not in 2. Son of Jacob and Leah Augusta) 3. Kapoor of Slumdog 39. Cinemas intro Millionaire 42. Kelly on TV 4. Thrust with a knife 43. Greek epic poem 5. Integrity 45. Short joke 6. Defer; delay 47. Opener opener 7. Center prefix 48. Doctrine suffix 8. Edit a legal document by 51. Single-celled adjective obscuring portions of it 52. Rectangular pier 9. Call State Farm 53. Fur scarf 10. Pipe fitting 54. A certain Gertrude’s last 11. Low tide name 12. Raised platform 57. Continuing 13. Not more than 62. Parched 21. Spinning part 63. ______ history 23. Nail locations 65. Stomach woe 26. Corpsman 66. Stead 27. The throat’s “little grape” 67. Flightless bird (Latin) 68. Fragrant resin 28. Bolshevik #1 69. Cut down a tree 29. A local “A” abbreviation 70. Upper mgmt. person 31. Virus prefix 71. Element no. 86

WORDS

Ok. Do you know Hmm. Can you what “trumpet ministration” means? use it in a Fire away. sentence?

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

3 2 4 5 9 7 8 1 6

5 7 6 1 3 4 2 8 9

2 9 3 6 8 5 1 7 4

4 8 1 2 7 9 6 5 3

SEPTEMBER 18, 2026

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

THEBESTMEDICINE

ha... ha...

man is walking through a park when he spots an old suitcase on the ground. Walking over to investigate, he finds a small dog and four newborn puppies underneath. He immediately calls Animal Control to report the situation. “That is terrible,” says the worker. “Are they moving?” “I suppose so,” says the man. “I mean, that would explain the suitcase, right?” Moe: Why did the golfer buy a new pair of pants? Joe: Because he gained weight. Two psychiatrists are walking down the street when they come upon an unconscious man lying on the sidewalk who has obviously been badly beaten and is bleeding onto the sidewalk. “Good heavens,” said one of the psychiatrists in horror. “We need to find the man who did this and get him some help!”

The

Advice Doctor

Moe: How are things going with your new girlfriend? Joe: Not that great. Moe: What does she do for work? Joe: Craziest thing. She’s a professional blood donor. Moe: That is crazy. So anyway, what’s the problem between you two? Joe: She’s just not my type.

Teacher: Can anyone use “fortify” in a sentence? Johnny: I can! Teacher: Go ahead then, Johnny. Johnny: I could make a really cool fortify had a card table and some blankets! Moe: I thought you were going shoe shopping. Aren’t those your old ones? Joe: Yeah, well...I did go to the shoe store. I asked to see a pair of loafers. Moe: And? Joe: The guy went into the stockroom and a minute later came back out with another clerk and the assistant manager. Moe: What seems to be the problem between you and your neighbor? Joe: He is literally a first-class jerk. Moe: Why do you say that? Joe: He’s always playing grammar Nazi, accusing me of misusing words like literally. Plus he says I can’t control my temper. Moe: So how did you reply? Joe: I literally exploded.

Why subscribe to theMEDICALEXAMINER? Because try as they might, no one can stare at their phone all day.

Staring at my phone all day has certainly had no effect on ME!

Dear Advice Doctor, I think I need professional help. I served in the military, and after my service I’ve worked in various emergency response agencies, so I have seen a lot of things that I wish I had never seen and would rather forget. Unfortunately, they’re never far from the back of my mind, and it seems like there’s nothing I can do about it. But is there? What’s your advice?

— I See Things

Dear I See, Thank you for all your service in various difficult settings. We should never take for granted what people have to endure who fight wars, fires, crime and the many other ills of the world. While I sympathize with your situation and support you in your desire to get help, let me take a few moments to explain why this might be difficult, if not impossible, and also inadvisable. If you were to place your hand on the back of your head, what you would basically cover on the inside is your brain’s occipital lobe. It is the very area you describe: the back of your mind. Why is that significant? The occipital lobe is the brain’s image-processing center. All of the raw electrical signals generated by the eyes go directly to the occipital lobe for processing. There they are transformed from raw data into the richly detailed full-color world you and I and everyone else inhabits. From there the visual information is routed to other lobes of the brain so we can interact intelligently and productively with whatever we have seen. As you can well imagine, the occipital lobe has a huge workload. It processes more than half of all the sensory input the brain receives, and its efficiency would be the envy of the most sophisticated computer: its visual processing takes around 40 milliseconds. Without the occipital lobe — in other words, without what’s going on in the back of your mind — you would have color blindness, difficulty perceiving movement, spatial disorientation (trouble reaching for objects or knowing how close they are), and you would lose object and facial recognition abilities. Anything visual would be a challenge. The bottom line: even if you could erase everything in the back of your mind, you really wouldn’t want to. Thanks again for writing. I hope I answered your question. Do you have a question for The Advice Doctor about life, love, personal relationships, career, raising children, or any other important topic? Send it to Dans@AugustaRx.com. Replies will be provided only in the Examiner.

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Separating Fact From Fad: Fiber Goes Viral by Sadie Underwood, MS, RD, LD Wellstar MCG Inpatient Dietitian With the increasing buzz around fiber it is important to be reminded of its role in our health, appropriate sources, and consider if we’re eating enough. Fiber is categorized as soluble or insoluble, both used by the body in different ways. Soluble fiber is dissolved in water which slows down glucose absorption leading to a decrease in blood sugar after meals. It also binds to bile acids to decrease LDL cholesterol levels, and can slow gastric emptying to promote feelings of fullness and satiety. Insoluble fiber works to promote bowel regularity by bulking stools and improving the speed of digestion. Overall, both types of fiber are needed in the body to aid in weight management, metabolic health, and gut function.1 Soluble and insoluble fiber are found in different types of foods, which is why it is important to eat a variety of foods on a regular basis. Soluble fiber is found in items such as beans, barley, oats, apples, bananas, citrus fruits, avocados, and carrots. Insoluble fiber is found in whole-wheat flour, nuts, beans, green beans, pota-

Ask a Dietitian FOOD FACTS FROM AUGUSTA DIETITIANS

toes, and cauliflower. 2 How much fiber are Americans supposed to get each day? This is where social media has distracted us from the dietary guidelines by promoting the concept of fibermaxxing. This is the idea that the more fiber we can consume each day the better off we will be. Per the Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2020-2025 edition, the recommended daily intake of fiber for adults is 22-34 grams based on gender and age.3 But what happens if we eat more fiber than we need? Too much fiber leads to adverse reactions in the gastrointestinal tract including bloating, cramping, and eventually constipation or diarrhea. Excessive intake of fiber can also lead to decreased absorption in necessary micronutrients such as calcium, iron, and zinc. Fiber binds to these minerals causing a decrease in

absorption into the gastrointestinal tract. 4 Ultimately, Americans should aim to consume a variety of fiber rich foods each day to meet dietary recommendations. Fiber has many benefits to overall health, and can aid in preventing or managing chronic diseases like diabetes and cardiovascular disease. Ingredients For the salad: • 1 (15-ounce) can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained • 1 (15-ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained • 1 (15-ounce) can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained • 1/2 red onion, finely chopped (about 3/4 cup), soaked in water to take the edge off the onion • 2 celery stalks, finely chopped (about 1 cup) • 1 cup loosely packed, fresh, finely chopped flatleaf parsley

• 1 teaspoon fresh finely chopped rosemary For the dressing: • 1/3 cup apple cider vinegar • 1/4 cup granulated sugar (more or less to taste) • 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil • 1-1/2 teaspoons salt • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper Directions 1. In a large bowl mix the 3 different types of beans, celery, and onion (drain water), parsley, and rosemary 2. In a separate, smaller, bowl whisk together the vinegar, sugar, olive oil, salt, and pepper to make the dressing 3. Combine dressing with beans, coat well. 4. Chill salad for several hours to allow beans to soak up the flavor of the dressing. To serve, allow bean salad to come close to room temperature.

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Three-Bean Salad

Sources: 1. Daley, SF, Shreenath AP. The role of dietary fiber in health promotion and diease prevention: a practical guide for clinicians. In: StatPearls [Internet]. StatPearls Publishing; 2026. Updated December 1, 2025. Accessed August 22, 2026. https://www.ncbi.gov/books/ NBK559033/. 2. Mayo Clinic Staff. Dietary Fiber: Essential for a healthy diet. Mayo Clinic. December 24, 2025. Accessed August 22, 2026. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/ nutrition-and-healthy-eating/indepth/fiber/art-20043983. 3. U.S. Department of Agriculture and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 2020-2025. 9th Edition. December 2020. Available at DietaryGuidelines.gov 4. Lemons J. Too much of a good thing: Imposing an upper limit to a high fiber diet - gastroenterology. Gastroenterology. February 2024. Accessed August 22, 2026. https://www.gastrojournal. org/article/S0016-5085(23)055658/fulltext. Recipe:Bauer E. Three bean salad recipe. Simply Recipes. June 30, 2026. Accessed August 22, 2026. https://www.simplyrecipes. com/recipes/three_bean_salad/.

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