Put yourself first Dear Annie: I have a friend who spent many years in an emotionally abusive relationship that seems similar to what “Sad Grandma” described. What I have seen with my friend’s children is that they have learned to treat their mom the same way their father did. They watched for years as she put his needs and demands first in all of their lives. By putting him first, she taught her own children to put her last. My friend is now working very hard to change her relationship with her children, and I hope “Sad Grandma” can, too. Remember: When you always put others first, you teach them to put you last. — Fellow Mom Dear Fellow Mom: Thank you for your letter. You bring up such an important point, which is that more is caught than taught. “The Gift,” a book by Edith Eger, highlights this very important lesson. ——— Dear Annie: My aunt relocated to Florida from Illinois with her husband. When her sisters would come for a visit, she would make a “Whoopee List.” It was a list of things to do with them while they were there, such as going to Disney World and other neat things! Yes, we now live in a world that has changed greatly, but I try to remember to treat our guests like royalty, as my aunt did. I believe having good hospitality is even biblically based. I’m the youngest of five. When I went to visit a couple of my brothers, they treated me the complete opposite of the way my aunt treated her sisters. I think one brother did not really want me there. I must say that I’m hesitant to ever visit them again. I was very hurt by the way they treated me. And it is one of those lessons in life where we learn. I still do the polite things of sending birthday and Christmas cards, but the closeness is gone. I have friends in Washington and Florida who have invited me, but I’m reluctant to even visit them. I think we all must make a note to treat visitors — even those who show up unexpectedly at our front door — kindly, politely and with genuine regard. We definitely know that when a family member or friend returns for another visit to our home, we did right with them on their previous visit. I truly appreciate sharing this with you, and it helps me to write to you about this matter. It has been on my mind for years. — Visiting Family and Friends Dear Visiting Family: Your letter highlights one of the most important rules of life: the golden rule, which is to treat others as you would want to be treated. Whether that applies to a guest in your house or to any other situation in your daily life, you will be much happier and relaxed if you practice this rule. If your brothers
don’t apply it, that’s their problem, not yours.
The grandma who isn’t good enough Dear Annie: My heart and prayers go out to the “Grieving Grandmother” who is tired of the apathy shown by her daughtersin-law. Those girls are incredibly rude and selfish when they ignore her at family gatherings, but I am impressed that Grandma gets holiday and family birthday meals at all. My two daughters-in-law have each said that their own mothers are their best friends. They call their mothers several times a day, and those other grandmothers get first dibs on all holidays and first consideration for any celebration. The situation is complicated by animosity that developed between one of my sons and the other’s wife early on, which is a justification on the part of each not to spend time with each other and the whole family. I have been a widow for over 20 years and have spent many holidays alone while my sons and their families celebrated with my daughters-in-laws’ families. My sons have managed time to vacation with their wives’ sides of the family but find it hard to schedule a single meal with my side of the family. I realized early on that I would never be “the” grandmother but have tried to fit in and basically take what I can get. My greatest regret is for my third son, who has not married. He continues to do everything in his power to bring us all together. My oldest grandson recently was married, and I feel the pain that my daughter-in-law now suffers as she adjusts to being a motherin-law herself. I recognize that she will not be “the” grandmother to her future grandchildren either. Unfortunately, that old adage, “A son’s a son till he takes a wife,” is all too true for many of us. I find myself looking back and wondering if my lot is payback for failing to give my own mother-inlaw her proper due. I don’t think I neglected her, but I do recognize that what I did for her was not always what she really would have preferred. She had raised a fine son who grew into a good husband and father through very difficult times. I wanted to give her some happiness and tried so many things that I thought would have given her pleasure, only to end up feeling unappreciated for all the effort. I doubt that she or my daughters-in-law will ever realize just how much more I could’ve — and would’ve — done for them if they had only included me. — One Grieving Grandmother to Another Dear Grieving Grandmother: Your situation is not fair, yet it is all too common. You feel left out and unappreciated, and those feelings stir up anger, resentment and sadness. Like you signed your name, you are “grieving.” But you have it within you to stop mourning and focus on the positives. Your third son is eager to organize a family reunion, and you should offer to help him plan one. If
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PUBLIC NOTICE NOTICE OF CURRENT PROPERTY TAXES DUE Made pursuant to Section 2609, Revenue and Taxation Code Tom Haynes, Interim Yolo County Tax Collector, hereby announces that regular secured tax bills will be mailed on or before November 1, 2021, to all property owners, at the addresses shown on the tax roll. Owners of property in Yolo County that do not receive a tax bill by November 10, should contact the tax collector's office, 625 Court Street, Room 102, Woodland, California or call 530666-8190. Failure to receive a tax bill does not relieve the taxpayer of the responsibility to make timely payments.
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another of your sons dislikes his sister-in-law, there is a chance he will bury the hatchet for the sake of his family. You should consider counseling to sort out what are real or imagined slights, whether done to you or in how you treated your own mother-in-law. Forgive yourself and your daughters-in-law, and focus on whatever makes you feel good about your interactions with your family. You may be surprised that you attract more love and invitations. ——— Dear Annie: I am disabled, and I find it difficult to deal with people who seem to be critical of my ailment or who think there is nothing wrong with me. This all started when I was 25 and hurt myself at work. That was followed by failed lower back surgery. My injuries are not visible at all. I’m 52 now and still get the looks. I have had the police called several times for parking with my handicapped placard because people have doubted my injury. It is extremely embarrassing and hurtful. However, I look at it like this: Those same people who give me looks or make snide remarks are the ones who would not think twice about using anything that was offered to them if they were handicapped. Here’s another thing to think about: By denying yourself the help you need, you are not allowing yourself the best care possible, nor are you truly taking care of yourself. If you are disabled, YOU must always come first. As the penguins from “Madagascar” would say, “Just smile and wave, boys; just smile and wave.” — Surviving and Living Life with a Disability Dear Living Life with Disability: Thank you for sharing your perspective. I hope it empowers others to smile and wave. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators. com.
The FIRST INSTALLMENT of 2021/2022 taxes is due and payable on November 1, 2021, and will become delinquent if not paid by 5:00 P.M. on December 10, 2021; thereafter a 10% penalty will be added. The SECOND INSTALLMENT will be due on February 1, 2022 and will become delinquent if not paid by 5:00 P.M. on April 11, 2022; thereafter a 10% penalty and $10 cost charge will be added.
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: 09/13/2021 FBN Number: F20210776 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) Parkopoly 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 2820 5th Street Davis, CA 95618 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Nathan Park
Dear Annie: My grandfather had severe Alzheimer’s disease. Unfortunately, it lasted for a while. He was fine before he hit 75. Occasionally, he would forget things, but it was not a big deal. As he aged, his memory got worse and his ability to forget things increased. By 80, he was bad. He didn’t know who some of his kids were, and talking to him was painful at best. By 85, he was completely gone. He sang songs like a child. He knew nothing about his own life or his family. Mercifully, he died at 85. His daughter, my mom, is now 65, and I’m worried she is showing signs of the disease. Though my mom knows the name of the utensil you “stab food with” (how my grandfather described a fork at one point), she forgets things. She repeats herself. I find myself sitting and lis-
Dear Forgotten: You’re wise to be proactive about this. Encourage your mom to set up a doctor’s appointment today. The sooner you seek professional help the sooner the problem can be diagnosed. If she does in fact have Alzheimer’s, early detection will allow you and your family more time to plan for the future. Additionally, there are some treatments that can temporarily lessen the symptoms. Visit the Alzheimer’s Association website, at http://www.alz.org, for more information. ——— Dear Annie: In October 2018, our daughter was married. We gave her a nice wedding, and there were approximately 300 guests. She received many, many nice gifts. She has yet to send out thankyou notes. I have offered on two different occasions to help her, and her response was, “I’ll do them.” I have had guests ask me whether my daughter ever received their gift. I don’t know what to say. What are your suggestions? Is it too late for my daughter to send out thank-you notes now, almost three years later? Should I just drop it and not let it bother me anymore? Thank you for your response. — Mother Dear Mother: Sadly, I doubt you’re the only mom who’s been in this position. Social niceties are going the way of the dodo and landline telephone these days. Talk to your daughter and her spouse (who is just as much to blame, by the way) about the importance of making this right. Encourage them to set aside an entire day to get the thank-yous done. They may be putting off sending them out at this point because they’re embarrassed about how much time has passed. But it’s better late than never. A nice handwritten thank-you note means a lot in this age of emojis and instant gratification. ——— Dear Annie: This is in response to “Frustrated Grandma,” who constantly gets stuck baby-sitting the grandkids with little appreci-
ation from her son. Brian and Amanda need to take Grandma on the cruise with them or send Grandma on a cruise with Grandpa or a friend to thank her for all that she does each year. — Jackie in Florida
BOTH INSTALLMENTS MAY BE PAID when the first installment is due.
SUPPLEMENTAL TAX BILLS are an additional tax liability due to a reassessment of property value and are due on the date the bill is mailed. Supplemental delinquent dates should be checked to be sure the taxes are paid timely. Mail payments to P.O. Box 4400, Whittier, California 90607. The envelope must be POSTMARKED BY THE DELINQUENT DATE to avoid late penalties. Payments may also be made in person at the County Tax Collector's office, 625 Court Street, Room 102, Woodland, California between the hours of 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., Monday through Friday, holidays excepted. Credit card or e-check payments may be made at www.yolocounty.org, in the office or by telephone at (877)590-0714. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT iled: 09/28/2021 BN Number: F20210829 . Fictitious Business Name(s) LLEN KATHARINE EMBODIMENT . Street Address, City, State and Zip of rincipal Place of Business in California. usiness is located in Yolo County. 379 ISLE ROYALE LANE AVIS, CA 95616 . List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), esidence Address, State, and Zip
Alzheimer’s looming
tening to the same stories. I first detected a problem when we were having a Fourth of July barbecue and we sent my mom out to pick up burgers and buns and she came back with ice cream. We were all stunned and concerned. That’s when I knew she needs help. What makes things worse is that when I tell her she’s told me a particular story before, she gets defensive. She has real trouble facing her own mortality. I know that she is relatively young and that there isn’t a lot I can do, but I care and worry about her. Any thoughts on how I should handle this? — Forgotten Daughter
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Dear Annie: My friend and I were talking about people who threaten suicide if their partner leaves them. I thought this was just an immature and overly dramatic response to a breakup and not something the person making the threat had any intention of going through with. However, my friend revealed to me that this actually happened to a friend of hers. Her friend was seeing an older man who had another girlfriend at the time. This girlfriend threatened to kill herself if he left her. And then she did. So I guess my question is: What should you do when your partner threatens suicide if you leave? — Steph in San Diego Dear Steph: When a partner or anyone threatens suicide, you must take it seriously. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. The people there will help you assess the situation and determine what actions you can take and the resources available in your state. I hope that man knows that what happened to his girlfriend was not his fault. If someone is threatening suicide if a partner leaves, there are underlying mental health problems that need professional treatment. ——— Dear Annie: This is in response to “Revs My Engine,” who wrote to you regarding the neighbor who takes all the parking in an area that could accommodate two cars. If there is actually enough space for two cars, your correspondent has the option of contacting his city’s responsible department (could be planning or traffic or under some other name) and request painted striping to delineate the parking spots. Problem solved, and nobody’s the “bad guy.” The governing agency has a responsibility to maximize the use of community resources, and street parking fits in that category. However, there are recognized standards for the size of an onstreet parking space, and what looks like enough space for two cars may not officially be. Be careful what you wish for. — Ex-Mayor of a Very Small Town
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2021 B7
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: 09/23/2021 FBN Number: F20210811 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) Taxes and More Coaching and More Money and More 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 423 F Street, Ste. 207 Davis, CA 95616 Mailing address:
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Executed at Woodland, Yolo County, California, on October 11, 2021. ________________________ Tom Haynes Interim Yolo County Tax Collector Published in the Davis Enterprise on October 17th and October 24th, 2021. 1530