Massive: Issue 04 'Love' by Massive Magazine

Love Love

Finding as a Sex Worker

“He asked if he could watch me fuck my clients and talked about how unbelievably horny he would get when I went to work.”

Full-service escort, Roxy*, started sex work in her second year of studying Psychology at Massey University and hasn’t looked back. Sex work means that she can manage university and her finances with ease. She loves the theatre of it all, dressing up and prancing around in front of someone that doesn’t even know her real name.

But while she loves her job, dating as a sex worker is another story. Until she fell in love.

Roxy shares horror stories about dating in her profession. It was a dark cold hike through the hills of Hinge before she could sit, breathe, and love with her partner.

Her first nightmare was James*. Roxy started seeing him through Hinge and was upfront about her sex work on the second date, which she uses as a rule for safety. James reacted as well as ever by saying he was completely fine with it and even enthused.

But after two months of seeing each other, his intentions unraveled.

James requested to watch her sleep with clients. Roxy mimicked the disgust on her face when opening these messages. Her honesty had been weaponised against her for his cuckold fantasy. She also felt that he seemed far too comfortable asking her to be overly kinky in the bedroom and attributed it to his perception of her work.

In another instance, Roxy's close friend William*, confessed his love for her whilst they powdered their noses in the bathroom one night. Roxy giggled and explained that he couldn’t handle dating a sex worker. In a coke-haze, he exclaimed his admiration for the job and how he truly appreciated the hustle. Regardless, she just wasn’t that into him. Eventually, William retaliated...

Not long after, Roxy was on a Hinge date with Lucas*, and because of her second-date-rule, said she was a cleaner. The two ended up at her place, laying together in bed after some pretty forgettable sex.

She’ll never forget when Lucas confessed that he actually knew exactly who she is and her job the whole time. He was William’s flatmate, and he had warned Lucas off Roxy because of her work. Roxy lay there, staring at the ceiling in distress. Lucas broke the silence, “Would you be into doing knife play?”

William flipped from supporting her work to outing her for leverage. Not to mention, Lucas completely lied about his knowledge of Roxy until after they’d had sex. “William* completely used it against me. I felt betrayed and beyond angry.”

After these experiences, Roxy felt burnt out from dating. She wondered: “Do I have to pick? Work or love?”

After taking a break from the dating scene, Roxy tried getting back out there. That’s when she meet George*.

Anything but a nightmare, George was a cheeky Scottish guy who was only in Aotearoa for another two weeks. This was perfect, the two could enjoy their date with no repercussions about Roxy’s job.

After drinking, laughing, and teasing at a rooftop wine bar they went back to Roxy’s place, “and then he didn’t leave my side for two weeks”.

They were completely inseparable. As a connection formed and feelings intensified, Roxy decided to tell George about her work.

At first, there was a bit of confusion about the parameters, as Scotland’s laws don’t exactly match Aotearoa’s complete decriminalisation of sex work. Roxy swiftly educated George, and once he understood that she was safe and happy in the industry he truly didn’t mind.

George’s laid-back reaction was the perfect scenario. Others were overly eager, faked progressiveness, or straight up lied. “George* also never expected anything from me in bed, in fact I was a total nervous pillow princess when we started sleeping together. I’m really breaking stereotypes.”

Their relationship developed quickly. They decided to throw dating faux pas out the window and dive into a full-fledged serious commitment so that they could wholly enjoy their time together.

To make this work though, they needed to set boundaries around Roxy’s job.

Firstly, they decided that anything that Roxy wears in the bedroom at work, she wouldn’t wear in the bedroom at home. She bought a lingerie set for work, but George ended up loving it, so it went in the ‘For George’ section of her drawers. They created a rule with the same basis for dirty talk, “I won’t say to him what I say to my clients, it feels performative.”

On another occasion, the pair wanted to go to Roxy’s workplace and have some fun on a drunken night. I'm sure you can imagine, the sex toy closet is quite endless. But in the end, the pair decided against it to keep their sex completely separate from her clients.

While the couple were supposed to have their fun and then part ways, they fell head over heels.

It turns out, Roxy didn’t need to pick between work and love. With the right person, Roxy could have both. This level of understanding can be rare for sex workers, “The job definitely weeds out a huge amount of people”. So, when you find the love you deserve, you hold on.

Roxy smiles as she says she has a flight booked to Scotland in May.

*Names changed for anonymity

Not so sexy shower

Once upon a time, I came to uni longing for the perfect boyfriend — nice, handsome, with a big dick. Honestly, I’m not asking for much am I?

Last year, I finally thought I’d found the guy I was looking for. He would sit in front of me during lectures. And every now and then when he’d turn around to give me worksheets, and he’d smile for a little too long.

One day I was studying at the Palmy Library, and I saw him outside vaping. It was my perfect chance to have a chill smoke with him. We get to chatting and he asks me to go for a drink with him.

Jumping ahead, we’ve been seeing each other for about four months at this point. He invited me around to his flat for the first time (I know, definitely a red flag that he was only just inviting me to his place after four months).

It was hot.

Once I finally cum, and the horny rose-tinted glasses are gone, I examine the space around me. The shower head is covered in mould. The floor is yellow with assumingly pee stains. But the worst part of all was that the shower was starting to flood.

We’re still fucking at this point, mind you. He hadn’t finished yet. I told him the shower was flooding but he just shrugged it off and kept going. I tried to play it cool, but the whole bathroom floor was starting to fill up.

I ran out of the shower and started to put all the towels in sight on the floor trying to manage the flood. This man just stands there, dick going soft.

His flatties weren’t home, so we started to get frisky in his shower. He’s holding my entire body straddled around him up against the shower wall, railing me.

One of his flatties comes home, sees the water from under the door, and starts absolutely ripping into us from outside the bathroom. I didn’t stay the night, and I (sadly) kept seeing him for two more months.

heyyy... make an anonymous submission at massivemagazine.org.nz/sexcapades

What do I do?!

While I don’t have exes of my own, just many past situationships and endless hookup, I can imagine your predicament. Falling for an ex again is a slippery slope, but falling for a classmate is a classic proximity crush. You probably wouldn’t be falling for your ex again if you didn’t see her every other day.

However, if your feelings are so intense that you decide you want your ex back, I would recommend a high dose of yearning.

The sheep in my paddock have been talking a lot about this term that I’d previously never heard before. I often hear them repeating the phrase, “Bring yearning back 2025”, usually over a copy of Pride and Prejudice or while watching Bridgerton.

After learning what it means, I fear it doesn’t work for me. Anytime I tell a babe I like her, there is no time for yearning. She’s almost instantly yearning to get in bed with me.

But for you my friend, yearning will work in your favour. Look at your ex longingly in class, sigh to get her attention, and bring her a gift — could be flowers, could be a bale of hay.

You could even recite Mr Darcy’s thirsty monologue: “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love- I love- I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

If all else fails, try reciting my own thirsty monologue I wrote in Year 11 and have used ever since: “Wanna fuck?”

Pick up next week's issue for Fergus' DIY column 'Fix it Fergus' xxx

HOROSCOPES

OROSCOPES

CANCER

Cancer, please don’t watch a sappy romance again. Let go of the seasonal depression and watch Magic Mike instead. Drop the moping and start some consensual groping.

You’ve recently let go of some negative energy Leo. Now is the time to reimagine yourself. Try a new look, a new coffee order, or maybe a new personality.

CAPRICORN

Someone from your past has been thinking about you Cap, but don’t waste any time on them. Instead, do some retail therapy. I heard Kmart is having a sale on bedspreads (not sponsored).

You’ve been fearful VIRGO

AQUARIUS

Appreciate the ones who love you this week Aquarius and do something to show them you care. Vacuum the house, make dinner, or do something freaky in bed.

Hey Pisces, you’ve been whining a lot recently about things that don’t really matter. Get a grip and grow your frontal lobe. Take inspiration from your Type B friends.