To: St. Jean Baptiste De La Salle From: Mary Jenwil S. Basila
December 8, 2021
To our dearest l' éducateur, St. Baptist De La Salle, I am writing in good health and with a hopeful mindset. So far, I have only read about your legacy, but let me take this opportunity to write to you in a letter as my teacher. Let me understand your own shadows by telling you about my own. All of my shadows relate to death in some way. When my baby sister died when I was just ten years old,when my grandfather died a few years later, and when I felt like I no longer knew my father when his brother died— they all have a common theme of someone dying, and I knew the feeling of losing the people I once knew because of the passing of the person they loved. It is such a sad thing that shadows learn how to extend to the people we love when we are hurt. Death brings too many changes. Your life, in this regard, is similar to mine in a way that we are molded with the loss of the people we love. Not entirely because our identity is not tied with the loss of others, but we’ve learned too many important lessons from the pain we felt. Because of that shadow, I always felt like I had to be in tune with anything around me, like I have to be constantly aware of what’s changing and what isn’t; always sensitive to the people around me. When I was a child, I did not know how to cope with it. My most consistent shadow, my sensitivity, has plagued my mental health and affected my experience with the world. At first, I thought it was to protect others because I can possibly hurt them, make them feel lonely or unheard if I didn’t highlight every change that happens to them. But in the end, I only put words in their mouths and I was trying to protect myself all along. I was hurt, and I projected that hurt to everyone because I was used to being surrounded with grief. It’s still affecting me, and though I have long learned how to cope with it, sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve the “light” I have now and those shadows come to surround my mind once more. What should I do when I still can’t let go of the sadness because it reminds me that I loved the people who were once here? How do I become less sensitive but remaining to be kind? I know how it feels to be anchored by faith, to be loved by God, but when I feel undeserving or when I feel bitter, how should I address my problems? I am reminded by your doubts of becoming a canon of the great cathedral of Rheims, and years later you were consented to leave that made you feel liberated. Even after you lost your possessions, how did you find yourself? In this life of mine, how do I move on from the doubts that I have, and how do I differentiate myself from these doubts? Please teach me guidance. I will continue on to be hopeful about the future. To serve the purpose I found in myself for the people I love and the disadvantaged to be with us as equals, I will be more aware of the world I live in and interact with. I will continue to listen and find God’s answers in His grace. May my gratitude reach you, our dearest teacher, because you have made many things possible with the life God gave you. From a très cher apprenant and child of God, Mary Jenwil Basila
To: Mary Jenwil S. Basila From: St. Jean Baptiste De La Salle
December 8, 2021
To Mary Jenwil, I hope this letter reaches you at a time of peace and healing. I understand that the passing of a loved one makes us grieve for a long time, and you do not need to apologize for mourning for them. In this same regard, do not act upon what is contrary to love. The death of my parents and the change in yours— the love we have for them remains despite the losses, and you must remember we are defined by this love we have for them, not by the hatred we felt when they passed away or when they changed. The shadow that extends to our loved ones, child, is a shadow we can shed light on. Pain is a feeling, not a punishment. It seems to me that you have your inhibitions on being sensitive to the feelings of others, and I understand how it took a toll on you. You are not lacking in your sensitivity. Instead, you feel it is too much. Humble yourself in your humanity— our kindness should not act upon observation alone but with understanding. When you understand them, ask them if they need comfort or advice. Relationships do not overwhelm, and you also have to understand how to be genuine in your kindness. Child, you are not failed by the Lord. You are allowed to feel the peace and love you are surrounded with. Denying that would mean denying the Lord God. You need not to violate your own heart when you are in pain. Cruelty to oneself is cruelty to Him. You are not the doubts that you feel, but you are the doubts you act upon. You still have your scars, and it is time to let them heal. Moving on is not a mistake nor is it a bad thing, no matter how painful it will be for you. Success is a bittersweet thing, child, and liberation is a truth. The more you accomplish, the more you realize what it takes from you, be it resources, time, and even peace. We turn liberated the moment we become true to ourselves and in the eyes of the Lord. There will always be happiness despite the tribulations, and happiness is worth it especially when you are led to it by the Lord. We can only tune ourselves to genuine happiness when we feel fulfilled, and what is fulfillment but by serving under the Lord God? Similar to how we built education in one of the poorest streets of Paris with perseverance and faith, you can overcome your shadows. Society can be different and indifferent to us, but we do not aim to do the same. Our family can witness us growing old or not. We will always encounter beliefs that do not align with our's, but always remember we are guided. I do not need to teach you how to be guided for it is a personal journey with God; you know best how He is leading you. May the Lord hear your prayers. Continue embarking on the path that will help the marginalized and poor to be heard and included. May peace and strength be with you. I pray that God will continue guiding you, De La Salle
SOURCES: Envelope- rawpixel.com Kaleidoscope Wax Seal Stamp- backtozero.co Cosmos Wax Seal Stamp- misterrobinson.co Seal of St. La Salle: https://lasallian.info/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Letters-reprint-2007.pdf Translations: l' éducateur : educator très cher apprenant : dearest learner