Family Friendship Program
Welcome, Students
Family Friendship Program mission
The goal of the program is to promote international understanding and friendship, develop an appreciation of how others live and view the world, and assist new students in the process of adjustment to Luther College and the United States. Students and their Friendship Families gather in informal settings and learn about life in the U.S. and Iowa, and about the home culture of the student. The friendship that grows between a student and his or her Friendship Family can promote diversity and cultural awareness that will last a lifetime.
Welcome
to the Luther College Diversity Center Friendship Family Program!
Congratulations on becoming a part of this program—a great opportunity to start what could be a lifelong friendship with your family. This is a relationship in which you will learn and grow together and will share and gain new understandings of different cultures. Bravo to you! This handbook provides general information about the program and a brief outline of culture shock theory. For more information, please go to our website, www.luther.edu/ diversity, or feel free to contact the program coordinator, Kathy Ferrie. The Luther College Diversity Center (LDC) is constantly trying to enhance the program for you. We welcome feedback and ideas to help us achieve this.
Who Are We?
Luther College Diversity Center is a place of welcome that embraces people from all walks of life. We work to equip a diverse student body for global citizenship. We seek to build an inclusive community where all feel valued, respected, and safe. Kathy Ferrie leads the program, and she welcomes your input and inquiries.
Kathy Ferrie
Amy Webber
Admin. Assistant, Diversity Center/Center for Global Studies
International Student Coordinator
Dahl Centennial Union 113 (563) 387-1014 ferrka01@luther.edu
Michelle Boike ’13
Wintlett Taylor-Browne
Assistant Director, Diversity Center
Interim Executive Director, Diversity Center
History of the project
The Luther Friendship Family program is over 30 years old, and the number of international students studying at Luther has nearly tripled in that time. We usually welcome about 40 international students from over 30 countries, giving us a total of 143 international students from 69 countries studying at Luther in 2016. Recently, the program was renamed, and the application and evaluation processes were enhanced to benefit both students and families.
What to Expect from your Friendship Family Sharing experiences
You and your Friendship Family will be able to learn from each other by sharing stories and cultures. It is always fun to find out small similarities that cross cultures and to discover differences, too. Families will try to share experiences to help you understand behaviors in U.S. and Midwestern culture. Providing support
Sometimes you need a place to go to get away from it all. Your Friendship Family may serve as a safe place to go for a meal or a chat over coffee. Hopefully, you will become part of the family and they will support you. Your family can help by listening to you and explaining cultural issues. Providing insight
By signing up for the Friendship Family program you will be giving yourself an advanced class in adaptation to life in the U.S. Your Friendship Family will be able to give you insight into the “typical American” way of life. You have the opportunity to educate someone about your culture and beliefs with the aim of expanding the Decorah community’s cultural awareness. Applying new skills
Spending time with your Friendship Family may give you opportunities to practice the American English speaking skills that you can then bring to your studies at Luther. This can benefit your communication with Luther faculty and staff.
“The time that we get to spend with our Friendship Family is so enjoyable. They bring a new look at life. Each year is a time we look forward to making a new friend and many new memories.” —Debbie and Dwayne Karr
What Not to Expect from a Friendship Family
Your friendship family is your connection to Decorah and the surrounding communities, your home away from home and your “adopted” family. Academic advice
Your friendship family will enjoy hearing about your studies and academic interests, however if you need help or advice about your studies, classes, and credits, you should meet with the academic adviser assigned to you when you arrived at Luther. Also feel free to come to the Diversity Center and ask questions. Immigration advice
Diversity Center staff members are the experts when it comes to immigration issues. Your friendship family may be keen to help, but we advise you to talk to Amy Webber or Wintlett Taylor-Browne in the Luther College Diversity Center. We would hate to see you risk your immigration status because of well-meaning, but incorrect advice given to you outside the office. Bring any questions, big or small, to the Diversity Center. Medical advice
Luther College has a Health Service available to students, and we advise you to visit that office first before seeking advice from the surrounding clinics. The Health Service at Luther College will provide low-cost quality care, and if necessary will refer you to an off-campus provider. Luther College has health insurance for all international students. Your friendship families want to know you are safe and healthy, so feel free to tell them if you are not feeling well. Your family can help you feel comfortable, but they are not medical advisers. Financial advice
Friendship Families are not responsible for supporting your financial well-being or for giving advice on how to spend your money. During orientation the Diversity Center will help you set up bank accounts and show you where the Student Financial Services and Student Financial Aid offices are. Employment advice
Regulations and laws for employment in the United States are complicated and can be confusing. For many international students, employment off-campus is not an option. We have informed Friendship Families that international students are not allowed, by law, to work off campus without a specific application process. Unfortunately, this includes house-sitting, babysitting, odd jobs, music lessons, etc. So please do not put your Friendship Family in an awkward position by asking them to give you extra work. Please visit the Diversity Center with any questions, and we will be happy to help.
Social Customs and American Values Time
For U.S. Americans, time is money and money holds a lot of value. Americans take pride in using time productively. Although families in Decorah understand that things can come up at the last minute, when you arrange to meet your family you should try to be ready at the agreed time so that they are not left waiting for you. For some people, being even 10 minutes late will be considered rude. If you do not think you can make an appointment, call or email in advance to make other arrangements. Call if you are running late. Invitations
Many of your families may say “see you later,” or “you must come and see us.” These are more friendly and welcoming statements, not necessarily invitations. An invitation will have a date, time, and an agenda. It is extremely important to respond to invitations. If you cannot make it, give a simple “no thank you” and your family will not be offended. They are aware that you have a busy schedule. Families may become offended, however, if you ignore it when they reach out to you. Be honest and open and communicate what will work for both you and your family. Directness and honesty
As mentioned before, be open and honest, even when it comes to things that are negative. For example, if you no longer feel that you need a Friendship Family, let your family know. In almost all cases, a direct conversation is the best way to work through issues. If you feel uncomfortable or are finding it hard to communicate with your Friendship Family, come to the Diversity Center and talk to us. Informality
Life in the U.S. and particularly the Midwest, is extremely informal. Workers will call their bosses by their name rather than Mr., Mrs., or Miss. They will also dress casually for some events. Blue jeans and a button-up shirt with no tie is acceptable attire for church. Some events may require more formal attire. To be safe, ask ahead of time about what’s appropriate. This casual way of life can make for a relaxed, friendly atmosphere. Individualism
U.S. Americans pride themselves on being self-reliant. From an early age, many have been told that it is important to follow their dreams and goals. Families and communities are less likely than in some other countries to choose the path for individuals. Many U.S. citizens believe that an individual has the right to make his or her own decisions.
Not sure what to say or do with your family? Your families will be interested in almost everything you share with them, no matter how basic. You will find that most people in Decorah are welcoming and friendly and will ask you many questions. Below are some ways you can help build a relationship with your Friendship Family.
1. Share photographs of your home and family.
2. Talk about what you like to study and your goals and ambitions.
3. Share anything traditional from your home culture, such as music, clothes, stories, or dancing.
4. Teach them your language.
5. Share with your family your top three:
• Movies
• Books
• Activities/hobbies
• Places to go
6. Ask questions! This program is meant to help make all involved more culturally aware, so ask your family lots of questions.
“The name Friendship Family is so appropriate because you do become a family. It’s like adding a member of the family when you host an international student.” —Kathy and Jim Buzza
Connect at events
The Luther College Diversity Center will organize a variety of events to help you connect with your family! Welcome Potluck • Great food, new faces
This is our welcome event, where you will be introduced to your family and get to know them over home-cooked meals.
Pumpkin Carving • Get creative, celebrate fall
This is our midsemester event. Hopefully, you will have bonded with your family and this is a chance to get together as a family, join in the fun, carve pumpkins, and enjoy treats.
Game Night •
This is a winter warmer event with hot chocolate and hot apple cider along with a selection of snacks and treats. Families can come together to teach and play their favorite games with other families and friends. This is also a chance to meet our new international students and other friendship families.
Popcorn Thursdays •
Every Thursday from 3:30 to 5 p.m. the Diversity Center will serve free popcorn. Although this is not with your family, you should come along and meet not just international students but students and staff from all over the USA.
Decorah
One of the benefits of this program is that it gives you a chance to escape from the Luther bubble and gain an understanding of what is available beyond campus. Decorah has a welcoming community with many helpful businesses. Please feel free to look through the Decorah Area Chamber of Commerce directory, decorahareachamber.com/directory, to find businesses that you may want to include in your exploration of Decorah.
“We joined in order to interact with someone from a different culture and part of the world, and to learn about them and where they are from. I enjoy all the questions our student asks as we learn about each other’s cultures and worldview. It’s fascinating to see Midwestern American life examined from the outside. Our student is a joy to be around, too!” —Jennifer (Kellogg) ’93 and Rodney Folstad