O C TO B E R 2 02 0
The Food Issue
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LIFESTYLE LETTER
OCTOBER 2020 PUBLISHER
John Lee | john.lee@lifestylepubs.com EDITORIAL COORDINATOR
Eat the Cold Winter Away! HELLO EDEN PRAIRIE LIFESTYLE READERS,
David Scheller | david.scheller@lifestylepubs.com AD DESIGNER
Whitney Lockhart L AYO UT DESIGNER
Dani Moore
When the days grow dim in our beautiful state, and the air takes on biting chill, we Minnesotans have always found comfort in food. Hopefully we’re not looking down the barrel of a truly miserable winter, but if we are we can at least all stay well-fed through-
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Bill Scheller, With Two Spoons | withtwospoons@gmail.com
out it. So punch out an extra hole in your belt, because this is our annual food issue! In this issue we are proud to feature bakers and Baker’s. The bakers are the fascinating mother and son team behind Sammy’s Sweets, whose sublime cakes, cupcakes and cookies would look right at home on the Queen’s pastry cart. If you have ever dreamed in buttercream, then Sammy’s Sweets is going to move you. Baker’s Ribs balances out the sweet with the savory. Eden Prairie is blessed to have Al Killion, an authentic, dyed in the wool Texas pitmaster to prepare smoked ribs, brisket and pork butts the same way the cowboys always have – low and slow, seasoned simply, and so good you’ll never look at Mister Hog the same way again. In this issue we are thrilled to feature a recipe from Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine! It appears my writer has also gone on some insane road trip that you may be better off reading about than replicating.
CORPORATE TEAM CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Steven Schowengerdt CHIEF SALES OFFICER Matthew Perry CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER DeLand Shore ART DIRECTOR Sara Minor OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Janeane Thompson
Of course, we love our other noteworthy food establishments featured in this issue
AD MANAGER Chad Jensen
as well – specifically Kowalski’s, Red Moon Asian Cuisine and Tavern 4&5.
REGIONAL SALES DIRECTOR Eric Williams WEB APPLICATIONS Michael O’Connell
As always, I would like to thank all of Eden Prairie Lifestyle’s sponsors, without whose generous support we could not mail our magazine directly to our readers’ homes. I always welcome any feedback or interest you may have in appearing on our magazine’s pages! 514 W 26TH ST., KANSAS CITY, MO
Best regards,
ARIZONA | CALIFORNIA | COLORADO | CONNECTICUT | FLORIDA | GEORGIA IDAHO | ILLINOIS | KANSAS | MARYLAND | MASSACHUSETTS | MICHIGAN
John Lee, Publisher
MINNESOTA | MISSOURI | MONTANA | NEW JERSEY | NORTH CAROLINA OHIO | OKLAHOMA | OREGON | PENNSYLVANIA | SOUTH CAROLINA TENNESSEE | TEXAS | VIRGINIA | WASHINGTON
CityLifestyle.com/EdenPrairie ON THE COVER Baker’s Ribs PHOTOGRAPHY BY PETE ROSE 4
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
Proverbs 3:5-6 Eden Prairie Lifestyle™ is published monthly by Lifestyle Publications LLC. It is distributed via the US Postal Service to some of the Eden Prairie area’s most affluent neighborhoods. Articles and advertisements do not necessarily reflect Lifestyle Publications’ opinions. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written consent. Lifestyle Publications does not assume responsibility for statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. Information in Eden Prairie Lifestyle™ is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed.
Thank you TO ALL OUR AMAZING GUESTS FOR THE SUPPORT
THEN, NOW & ALWAYS
16396 Wagner Way Eden Prairie I 952.934.4545 I Tavern4&5.com
INSIDE THE ISSUE OCTOBER 2020
FEATURES 8 Recipes That Will Warm Your Autumn From Eden Prairie’s Very Own Food Blog “With Two Spoons”
14 Sammy’s Sweets Sweets That Will Satisfy the Sweetest of Sweet Tooths
18 Baker’s Ribs Real Texas BBQ
18 8
34 Cook on Your Car Engine! From the Coauthor of Manifold Destiny
34
14 DEPARTMENTS 4
Lifestyle Letter
8
Culinary Creations
14
Locally Owned
26 Road Trip 30 DIY 34 Driver’s Notebook
CULINARY CREATIONS
recipes that will warm your autumn FROM EDEN PRAIRIE’S VERY OWN FOOD BLOG “WITH TWO SPOONS”
ARTICLE AND PHOTOGRAPHY WITH TWO SPOONS
shopping list
8
+ navy beans
+ celery
+ sugar
+ apples
+ onion
+ kosher salt
+ butter
+ pecans
+ carrots
+ eggs
+ pumpkin
+ walnuts
+ bacon
+ all-purpose flour
+ cinnamon
+ oats
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
one I N S TA N T P O T B E A N A N D B AC O N S O U P
INGREDIENTS: + 1 tablespoon olive oil + 8 cups chicken stock + 2 cups onion, chopped + 1 pound dried + 2 cups carrot, diced
navy beans
+ 1/2 cup celery, diced + 2 bay leaves + 1 tablespoon
+ 1 sprig of thyme
tomato paste
+ 1 teaspoon salt
+ 16 ounces bacon, + 1/4 teaspoon fresh cooked and chopped
ground pepper
DIRECTIONS 1. Using the sauté function on your Instant Pot, heat the olive oil. Add onion, carrot, and celery. Sauté for 5 minutes. Add tomato paste and stir. Turn off sauté function. 2. Add chicken stock, chopped bacon, dried beans, bay leaves, thyme, salt and pepper. Secure lid. Press manual, set to 35 minutes. 3. Allow to cook. It will likely take 15 minutes ABOUT THE CHEFS
or so to come to pressure.
Lane Patten and Holly Schrupp Berg first
4. When finished cooking, allow natural pres-
met while working as emergency physicians
sure to release. This will add another 20 to 30
in Minneapolis. They quickly bonded over their
minutes to the cooking time. (Total time in the
love of food, cooking, and entertaining. Their
Instant Pot approximately 80 minutes.) Ladle
blog With Two Spoons was born out of their
into bowls, season with additional salt and pep-
desire to build a stronger community through
per as desired.
CONTINUED >
food. Lane has resided in Eden Prairie since 2008 with her husband, two kids, and very spoiled dog Pippi. withtwospoons.com CityLifestyle.com/EdenPrairie
9
CULINARY CREATIONS (CONTINUED)
two
three
PUMPKIN PECAN SCONES
APPLE WALNUT GRANOLA
INGREDIENTS:
INGREDIENTS: + 3 cups all-purpose flour + 2 eggs, divided
+ 2 1/2 cups old fash- + 1/4 cup brown sugar
+3/4 cup sugar
+ 1 cup buttermilk
ioned rolled oats
+ 1 tablespoon
+ 1 teaspoon cinnamon
+ 1 cup chopped walnuts kosher salt
baking soda
+ 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
+
+ 1/2 teaspoon
+ Pinch ground cloves
apples, chopped into + 1/4 cup melted coco-
kosher salt
+ 1/2 cup chopped pecans
3/4
cup
+ 1/2 teaspoon dried + 3 tablespoons honey
bite sized pieces
nut oil
+ 1 cup cold butter, cubed + 1 tablespoon milk
+ 1/2 teaspoon
+ 1/2 teaspoon
+ 4 ounces cream
+ Pinch kosher salt
ground cinnamon
vanilla extract
cheese, cubed
+ Sugar, for sprinkling
+ 1 cup pumpkin puree
DIRECTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 350 °F and line a rimmed
DIRECTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 375 °F. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Add the cold
spray the parchment with cooking spray. 2. In a large bowl, combine all of the dry
butter and cream cheese cubes. Use a pastry cutter
ingredients and mix well. Add the wet ingredi-
to blend until the mixture resembles coarse sand.
ents and stir to combine, ensuring all of the dry
2. In a separate bowl, whisk the pumpkin puree, 1 egg, buttermilk, and spices. Add the pumpkin mixture to the large bowl with the flour mix. Use your hands to
ingredients are evenly coated. 3. Pour the granola mixture onto the prepared baking sheet.
mix the wet dough. Using a spoon, divide the batter
4. Bake at 350 °F for 20 to 25 minutes or until
into 20 small portions and place on parchment paper
lightly golden. Allow to cool and then break
lined baking sheets.
into chunks. Keeps in an airtight container for
3. In a small bowl, whisk together the remaining egg, milk, and salt. Brush the top of each scone with a small amount of egg wash and sprinkle with sugar. 4. Bake for 15 to 16 minutes until just golden. Makes 20 scones.
10
baking sheet with parchment paper. Lightly
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
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LOCALLY OWNED
Sammy’s Sweets ARTICLE DAVID SCHELLER
A GREAT BAKER MUST AT ONCE POSSESS THREE RARE QUALITIES. In his mind he must be precise, for to coax flour, egg, and sugar into perfect form is a science. In his soul he must be an artist, as the most delicious baked things are also the most beautiful. Finally, a great baker must love baking from the depths of his heart. It is his passion. Sam Borchert is such a baker. His precision and artistry may very well be superhuman, because Sam has autism. He has memorized the details of dozens of recipes and can follow any of them exactly. He will not rest until every cupcake in every batch of hundreds looks divine and identical. Sam can not be distracted from his craft. The source of Sam’s love for baking is manifold. To make such delicious things is rewarding for reasons which beg no elaboration. Sam certainly takes pride in his work and cherishes his independence. The gratitude, the respect, and, in all fairness, the money he receives from the community inspire greater passion still. But the very first time Sam loved baking? He loved it because he could do it with his mom. “Sammy has wanted to bake ever since he was five years old,” said Sue Borchert, Sam’s mother and the other head chef of Sammy’s Sweets. “It has always given him a peaceful atmosphere – free from sensory overload – with a challenging task at hand. “When Sam first started out, his favorite thing to bake was chocolate chip cookies. And they were amazing cookies, but after a few thousand batches I did start getting tired of them. So I got this old copy of Bon Appétit that had an insert with 50 crazy cupcake flavors. I told Sam that it was our neighbor’s birthday, so we should go let him pick out a recipe and then make it for him. “After Sam’s inaugural batch of malted milk ball cupcakes we became hooked on baking for the community. We spent a lot of time together, helping each other without the need for so much talking, making tray after tray of beautiful cupcakes to pass out to people. In return we would only ask that they text Sam their review, so he could practice communicating with them.
14
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
Sue Borchert and Sam Borchert
“IF I COULD ASK YOUR MAGAZINE’S READERS TO DO ONE THING, IT WOULD BE TO LOOK AROUND THEIR LIVES OR THE COMPANIES WHERE THEY WORK. SEE IF THEY CAN FIND A PLACE IN THEM FOR SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY. GIVE THEM AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE AS PROUD AS MY SON.”
“Word must have spread around, because eventually we got our first paid job: the graduation party of a friend of a friend. This made Sam and I realize that we really were on to something. It was time to bring in some help. Cooper and Sydney, Sam’s brother and sister, worked on branding and communications. Dona, a close family friend, filled in as our other baker. And of course Sam and I retained our roles as head bakers!” Sammy’s Sweets became a fast success. Sam and Sue have tended to the dessert aspects of countless wedding receptions, fundraisers, church events, birthday parties, and other big social to-dos. Recently Sam single-handedly baked the 600 chocolate chip cookies that SCHEELS could not have reopened without.
CONTINUED >
CityLifestyle.com/EdenPrairie
15
LOCALLY OWNED (CONTINUED)
Sam composes rhapsodies in butter and cream. His raspberry surprise cupcake is the reward of a hundred trial batches, now a
“Finding employment can be difficult for someone with a disability. But finding meaningful employment? That is even harder.
vision of fluffiness injected with sweet purée. His carrot cupcake is
“Right now we are still based at home, but we dream of owning a
made with freshly shredded carrots and dolloped with cream cheese
little bakeshop in Eden Prairie one day. There we could offer jobs to
frosting, a recipe peeled straight from Dona’s family recipe book. His
all of Sam’s friends, letting everyone help out as they’re most com-
toffee crunch cupcake is adorned with Hershey’s chocolate whipped
fortable. If they don’t like to bake, they can work at the cash register.
cream frosting. You can often identify one of Sam’s cupcakes by its
If they don’t feel like being social, they could help in the back by
frosting alone. Very few share the same.
assembling boxes, emailing customers, or even tasting new flavors.
And of course there are the chocolate chip cookies, perfected over the course of nearly two decades. You are welcome to ask Sam for his cookies’ secret ingredient, although this line of questioning will likely not get you far. “We feel so blessed that Sam has found something productive which he also loves to do,” said Sue. “He will hum while he works in
That still looks like it’s a long way off from now, but with the community’s support I believe we will get there. “If I could ask your magazine’s readers to do one thing, it would be to look around their lives or the companies where they work. See if they can find a place in them for someone with a disability. Give them an opportunity to be as proud as my son.”
the kitchen all night if he has a big order to bake for. Finding that kind
Sue also wouldn’t mind if you also ordered cakes and cookies from
of joy can be difficult for people with autism, who might struggle with
Sammy’s Sweets. You can learn more about the local bakery and
so many tasks you or I take for granted.
reach out to them at sammyssweetsmn.com.
16
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
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17
ARTICLE DAVID SCHELLER | PHOTOGRAPHY PETE ROSE
REAL TEXAS BBQ
LONG BEFORE GLITTERING GOLD AND DIAMONDS PIQUED OUR INTEREST, THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD WAS MEAT. Ancient humans risked their lives to get it, as the greatest sources of meat defended their own with tooth and claw. To tear meat from bone is still to satisfy the basest urge – the rib is the primal comfort.
BAKER’S RIBS
But in this modern world of light, you need
18
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
never risk becoming skewered on a boar’s tusk like a cocktail olive on a club frill pick simply because you wanted ribs. The civilized Eden Prairiean goes to Baker’s Ribs instead. Baker’s Ribs is owned by Al Killion. The moment Al speaks you are assured your barbecue meal is in the most capable hands in the world, for Al’s Texan accent has stayed unblemished after 28 years of Minnesota living. Curiously enough, Al got his first experience serving food at a Midwestern culinary institution – a Dairy Queen in his hometown of Rowlett. But before long he found himself under the wing of the great pitmaster Joe Duncan. “Joe started the original Baker’s Ribs down in Dallas,” said Al. “Even back when I first met him he had been in barbecue for a long, long time. It was a long time before Joe would let me cook at his restaurant, too. At first I thought he was just a perfectionist, but after working with Joe for years and eventually opening his first franchise, I appreciate just as well as him how important it is to do everything the right way.
CONTINUED >
“ When you eat our barbecue you might taste a little bit of rub, but the main flavors you’re getting are meat and natural w o o d s m o k e .”
CityLifestyle.com/EdenPrairie
19
BAKER’S RIBS (CONTINUED)
20
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
“ We s m o k e o u r m e a t w i t h o a k . We w o u l d u s e hickor y i f we were a li ttle far ther down south and didn’ t have to impor t i t , but oak i s far from a c o m p r o m i s e . I l o v e i t s m e l l o w f l a v o r, w h i c h c o m p l e m e n t s e v e r y c u t o f m e a t r e a l l y w e l l .”
“Take brisket for example. Brisket has to be cut to an
“Our pork ribs are done just as simple but take a little
exact thickness – nice and even, in smooth slices, and
less time: 300 degrees for four hours. We cook St. Louis
at just the right angle or it won’t fall apart in your mouth.
cut spare ribs, just because they stack a little more
You want a little bit of black bark on there, but not too
neatly in the pit and look a whole lot nicer on a plate.
much. It’s kind of hard for me to explain barbecue. It takes decades of hands-on experience to truly understand it.
“After all this time, smoking meat doesn’t feel like a science to me. It’s more of a form of art. Just how much
“We serve real Texas barbecue here. To me that’s
smoke the oak is going to put out all boils down to its
smoked meat, pure and simple. When you mop sauce
moisture content, and you can’t really measure that. You
all over the meat like they do in St. Louis it only covers
have to feel it.
up the natural flavors. When you eat our barbecue you
“Let me tell you about our three most popular sides.
might taste a little bit of rub, but the main flavors you’re
The first is baked beans, and they’re the one thing I did
getting are meat and natural wood smoke.
change after moving up here. Minnesotans just don’t
“We smoke our meat with oak. We would use hickory
like the pinto. We wound up making our beans a little
if we were a little farther down south and didn’t have
sweeter for the northern palate, with brown sugar and
to import it, but oak is far from a compromise. I love
Creole mustard. We smoke them right in the pit. We
its mellow flavor, which complements every cut of meat
make a mean dirty rice with little pieces of ham and
really well.
sausage, and potato salad with dill real Hellman’s may-
“We put a single, whole oak log on a bed of coals when we cook. We might also throw a couple pieces of
onnaise. The potato salad is a real homage to Texas’s German roots.
green wood on there to help get it going. At its heart,
“I’ll always remember what one of my first custom-
Texas barbecue is no more complicated than tending
ers said to me: ‘You know you came to a land where
a fire. That’s the cowboy way, very simple, just using
black pepper is considered an exotic spice, don’t you?’
whatever you happened to have on hand while you
And at first I did have people tell me that the barbecue
were driving cattle through country without another
sauce we put on the tables was too spicy. But now that
soul for miles in any direction.
the Twin Cities have gotten more barbecue places and
“We put our whole briskets and pork butts in the
other ethnic restaurants that offer a broader range of
smoker by 5pm. We get the fire set and let it smoke
flavors, I’ve found people around here have become a
all night, heating the meat to between 275 and 290
lot more accepting of a little spice.
degrees. No one has to watch it overnight because the
“I do enjoy it up here. Minnesota is home now. But
pit is such a simple piece of equipment. When every-
being an ambassador to my home state’s style of bar-
thing goes like it’s supposed to, the barbecue will be
becue – the best style of barbecue, I might add – well,
ready when we open at 11am the next day.
that’s always going to feel good.”
CONTINUED >
CityLifestyle.com/EdenPrairie
21
BAKER’S RIBS (CONTINUED) Naturally any restaurateur’s business has been changed dramatically by all the recent unpleasantness. Baker’s Ribs has managed to keep the smoke rising thanks to all the parties they cater for. Al says he cooks for an unbelievable number of graduations. And what better way to cap off an education by plowing through a rack of ribs? Business lunches have remained a mainstay of Al’s catering business, as have weddings and family reunions. Try and imagine a social occasion that couldn’t be improved by barbecue. Short of some sort of vegetarian shindig, it can’t be done. As of August the dining room at Baker’s Ribs is operating at half capacity. It is well worth going there, as the place is an absolute shrine to generous brother pig. There you can see nearly three decades’ worth of pig decorations – photos, folk art, weathervanes, and of course coin receptacles in the shape of the happy pink creature. If you dine at Baker’s Ribs, you’ll walk out of the next hoity-toity restaurant you visit in disgust because they are so dismally lacking in charming pig paraphernalia. The next time you feel the call of the wild that can only be remedied by smoke and meat and maybe a little side of baked beans, you need only pay a call to Baker’s Ribs. They are located at 8019 Glen Ln in Eden Prairie, and you may find out more about the authentic Texan joint at bakersribsmn.com.
22
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
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The Sign of Success.
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ai ri Pr
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Eden Prairie Woods is a recently finished-out subdivision of 52 houses, developed by a nationally acclaimed luxury home builder. The home shares a short cul-de-sac with 4 other homes and is across the street from the association playground and swimming pool. The rooms are extraordinarily spacious with a welcoming grand foyer featuring a turned staircase, a gourmet kitchen with a Palladian window combined with a 2-story Great Room. The backyard is an entertainment oasis. Heidi & Brian Weissner 952-200-2229 • HeidiandBrianWeissner@edinarealty.com
11345 Wetzel Lane $1,400,000
8002 Island Road $725,000 Lakeshore Eden Prairie home with 4 bedrooms on one floor, private beach and dock situated in an ideal location. Enjoy views of Mitchell Lake from every room in the house. Grand Master Suite with bathroom, walk-in closet and separate deck to view the lake. 3 season porch and large cedar deck make entertaining fun. Large walkout lower level recreation room includes a custom built-in bar, home office and bathroom with shower. The lake is well into a multi-year water quality improvement project and is stocked with fish including walleyes, bass and crappies. Lake recreation is ideal for pontoon boats, canoes, kayaks and paddle boards.
John Sligh • 612-327-3123 • JohnSligh@edinarealty.com
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Cristy Willis • 952-356-7585 • CristyWillis@edinarealty.com
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Enjoy this beautifully designed, tastefully updated 2 story walkout home! Great room a dramatic focal point with floor-to-ceiling stone fireplace, striking 2 story wall of windows. Gorgeous white enameled kitchen with large granite center island, stainless steel appliances. Main floor features hardwood flooring, large office with bay window, separate formal dining room, 1/2 bath, spacious laundry/mudroom, maintenance-free deck with built in lighting. Wonderful flat backyard with mature trees, quality landscaping. Luxurious owners suite with tray vaulted ceiling, large walk-in closet, spa like jacuzzi tub with walk-in shower. Family room in walkout lower level with beautiful 3 sided fireplace, wet bar, billiard area along with fourth bedroom and 3/4 bath. Don’t miss this pristine home in terrific cul-de-sac neighborhood. Top rated Eden Prairie schools, easy access to major highways.
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op ak Sh Impeccably kept home with recently finished lower level in prime Shakopee location! Updates and upgrades abound in this beautiful home. The main level features wide open spaces with a large kitchen, eat around island as well as formal dining/living rooms and an office. The large deck overlooks a private backyard lined with evergreens and beautifully landscaped!
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13717 Jenifer Court $617,000
The Barkley’s • 612-991-0977 • JackBarkley@edinarealty.com
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8444 Blazing Star Circle $420,000
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The Barkley’s • 612-991-0977 • JackBarkley@edinarealty.com
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The Barkley’s • 612-991-0977 • JackBarkley@edinarealty.com
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Main level features 11 ft ceilings with crown molding. A large kitchen with granite counters, KitchenAid stainless steel appliances & large center island. Main floor office. Four bedrooms up. Master bath features double vanity, large tile shower and jetted tub. Two JR bedrooms share a Jack and Jill bath. 4th BR has a private bath. Unfinished walkout LL awaits your finishing touches. Maintenance free deck with stairs to the flat yard. Neighborhood association maintained pool, playground and trails.
Amazing 1+ acre lot with expansive views of the Minnesota River Valley. Additional green space and conservation area across the street make this private setting. Many updates to the home include a complete kitchen remodel with top of the line appliances. A full master bedroom and bathroom remodel with full walk-in tile shower and multiple shower heads. Full master closet organizer added. Walk to city parks and miles of trails. Second full bedroom, full bathroom and office on the main level.
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Custom built rambler with great curb appeal with all brick front in excellent condition with private backyard. Granite counters, new stainless appliances, hardwoods on main level. Great master bath with new rain head shower and fixtures. Extensive electric updates. Invisible fence around the entire outer perimeter of the yard with remote control. Located on street of more expensive homes. Great opportunity!
16314 Kruger Lane $825,000
9900 Frederick Place $700,000
327 Bluff Road $639,900
2917 Cougar Path NW $530,000 • MLS# 5578997
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#1 IN MN SALES FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS!
90 Salem Church Road $1,735,000
Your private English-style Estate awaits. Elegant finishes and sophisticated layout offers ideal spaces for entertaining and everyday family life. Unparalleled main level Owner’s Suite with amazing closet and opulent en Suite. Walkout lower level boasts a sauna, steam shower, three bedroom suites and recreation spaces. New Cedar-shake roof (2017) and new HVAC.
Randy Kellogg • 612-240-2924 • RandyKellogg@edinarealty.com
For career opportunities Call Lyndon at 952-944-7107 or www.LyndonMoquist.com
ROAD TRIP
T h e Tr e m e n d o u s Beasts of Minnesota and North Dakota ARTICLE DAVID SCHELLER
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Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
MIDWESTERNERS HAVE A SINGULAR FONDNESS FOR GIANT ANIMALS. I’m not talking about the overfed things that laze about in pens at state fairs, but rather our inordinate number of tremendous animal statues. Like Lovecraftian gods they loom over the horizon, beckoning all to come and look on in awe of their largeness. This summer I decided to visit nine of Minnesota’s and North Dakota’s finest specimens. It was a true haul made possible by a flood of black coffee and music played too loudly. I even got my girlfriend to accompany me, though I had to trick her into it by saying we were actually going to her dentist appointment. First stop: Belgrade, where the World’s Largest Crow perches atop a great stone pedestal. He is a heroic corvid, surrounded on all sides by each of the 50 states’ flags in a display of true national unity. The crow itself stands 31 feet tall, and serves as a heartening tribute to a too often unappreciated bird. Press a button within the crow’s base and a crackling electronic voice praises the crow’s resourcefulness and fidelity. This message was lost on my girlfriend, who seemed to be busying herself with a toothache at the time. Onward to Alexandria, home of Big Ole. The colorful 28 foot tall Viking bears a shield declaring Alexandria as the “Birthplace of America,” a theory based on a supposed runestone unearthed by a Swedish immigrant in 1898. If authentic the runestone would prove that Vikings beat Columbus to the New World by over a century. Historians simply tug on their beards and chuckle at this theory, but Big Ole wouldn’t pay them any attention. Any man holding a spear long enough to shish kebab an elephant has no need for historical analysis. We next took a huge dogleg to Madison, where a 25 foot cod named Lou T. Fisk greets all visitors with eyes like archery targets. Madison is the world capital of lutefisk, a food which proves lye belongs in dinner as much as it does in bar soap. Lou is a faithful representation of his species, replete with dangling whisker and pasty white tum. The Louvre only wishes they could get their grubby mitts on a statue like him.
CONTINUED >
Photo courtesy of the City of Garrison
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ROAD TRIP (CONTINUED)
To cap off Minnesota we visited the World’s Largest Booming Prairie Chicken in Rothsay. The 9,000 pound bird is indeed booming, his spacious orange cheek pouches in full state of inflation. Female prairie chickens find this display irresistible, but apparently females of our own species are immune to it. At the border of North Dakota you can see Wahpper, the 40 foot catfish that stands eternal watch over Wahpeton. “Another fish?” the people in your road trip party might ask you at this point, to which you can only answer “Indeed.” For the next part of this drive you want to place a cinder block against the accelerator and take a nap. It is four hours to New Salem where you can marvel at Salem Sue. The 38 foot tall Holstein was
Photo by John Magnoski, courtesy of Explore Alexandria Tourism
erected by the New Salem Lions Club in 1974 as tribute to North Dakota’s fine dairy farms. Her strong shoulders scrape up against the Peace Garden State’s cornflower blue sky, and her pendulous udder is lit up by a pink varicose vein – a promise of much more milk to come. It is a straight shot north up to Garrison to see Wally the Walleye, a fitting avatar for the Walleye Capital of the World. True Minnesotans know precisely which kind of jig bait it would take to land a 26 foot walleye, although they might have difficulty finding enough tartar sauce to cover it. My girlfriend had to be reminded that yes, we had visited two fish already, but cod and catfish are altogether different from walleye. Incomparable, really.
Photo courtesy of the City of Belgrade 28
Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
Stop in Minot for lunch and press onward to Bottineau where you can gawk at Tommy the Turtle. He is the pinnacle of American art – a 32 foot tall turtle riding a snowmobile. Tommy’s expression is one of pure rapture, his testudinal maw agape and slanted comma-shaped eyes set in determination. Tommy is what happens when a sculptor wants to convey the concept of “See? This is what a giant turtle riding a snowmobile would look like!” Or perhaps he represents manifest destiny or the plight of the working class or something highbrow like that. I posed for a photo in which it looks like Tommy is about to run me over, and I am no doubt the first visitor ever to do so. The upper crust of North Dakota must be turtle country, because just east from Bottineau lies the W’eel Turtle of Dunseith. True to his name, the W’eel Turtle is comprised of over 2,000 rims welded together and painted a particularly turtlish shade of green. In the shadow of this colossus I turned to my girlfriend, pulled her in close,
Photo by Shelly Spang
and peered into her big, beautiful brown eyes. I then whispered in her ear: “Would you like anything from Dale’s Thrifty Barn? It’s right over there.” Thus stocked with aspirin we set a course back to the Twin Cities. I highly recommend you make this pilgrimage yourself one day. You’ll enjoy beautiful countryside, art that you would never get to see in “museums,” and the thrill of driving in straight lines for hours on end.
Photo courtesy of the City of Wahpeton CityLifestyle.com/EdenPrairie
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DIY ARTICLE NICOLETTE MARTIN
Pumpkin Pe r fe c t i o n PUT THE CARVING TOOLS DOWN + CHECK OUT HOW YOU CAN ADD SOME PIZZAZZ TO YOUR PUMPKINS WITH JUST A PAINT BRUSH
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Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
THE
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For this design, you’ll need several pumpkins or gourds in various shapes and sizes, some white and metallic acrylic paint, hot glue and some fake creepy crawlers.
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Paint
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pumpkins in metallic colors. For your centerpiece, use white paint to cover the body, metallic paint for the stem and hot glue your creepy crawlers all around. CONTINUED >
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DIY (CONTINUED)
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Go to the “dark side” with this design that requires matte black paint, white paint, some metallic paint (for an out-ofthis-world vibe) and some newspapers. Be careful—this one could get messy!
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Leave your stems natural or cover with metallic paint if desired. Then, coat your mini pumpkins in matte black paint— be sure to cover everything!
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You can leave some matte black, but for an extra touch, lay out newspaper and splatter your white paint onto some of your black pumpkins. Bonus—as long as you catch it before it dries, any paint should be easily removed with some warm water.
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Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
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Start with several mini pumpkins. (We prefer to use fake ones so you don’t have to worry about leaving them out too long!) You’ll also need some white paint, metallic paint and black paint. Twine is optional to add a slightly rustic vibe to the stems.
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Paint all of the stems with black paint and wrap some with twine if desired. Then, create several different looks with combina-
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tions of metallic and flat paint. Make extra creepy “oozing” pumpkins by allowing paint to run down the sides.
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Don’t feel limited to solid colors! Experiment here with different patterns and textures (like painting over lace or using a sponge to apply paint instead of a brush), and add some extra sparkle with glitter!
CityLifestyle.com/EdenPrairie
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DRIVER’S NOTEBOOK
Cook on Your Car Engine! FROM THE COAUTHOR OF MANIFOLD DESTINY
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MANIFOLD DESTINY OFFERS PLENTY OF RECIPES YOU CAN COOK ON YOUR CAR ENGINE, BUT NONE OF THEM CALL FOR A WHOLE TURKEY – UNLESS, AS MY COAUTHOR CHRIS MAYNARD AND I REMARK, “YOU HAUL THE FAMILY AROUND AT HOLIDAY TIME IN A GREYHOUND BUS.” This turkey trick solves the space problem by portioning boneless breast slices in individual foil packets. Just triple-wrap the ingredients in aluminum foil, nestle the packets into engine hot spots where they won’t fall off, and drive for three to four hours, checking for doneness partway through your trip.
ARTICLE BILL SCHELLER
To Grandmother’s House Road Turkey + 2 pounds turkey breast, sliced thin + Flour for dredging + 1 large baking potato, peeled and diced + 1 carrot, finely diced + Dry white wine + 1/4 cup heavy cream Combine turkey, potatoes, and carrots in a bowl with wine, and marinate for two hours in the refrigerator. Set the vegetables aside, and dredge the turkey slices in flour. Heavily butter three large squares of foil, then arrange equal amounts of turkey and vegetables on each square, seasoning with salt and pepper as desired. Cup the foil around the turkey and vegetables, and pour over each serving as much heavy cream as you can without making a soupy mess that will cause the packets to more easily puncture when you put them onto the engine. Seal carefully, and wrap with two more layers of foil. A tip: For even cooking, you might want to turn the packets along the way. And make sure you don’t interfere with the accelerator linkage, or get your hands near the fan! *R e
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Eden Prairie Lifestyle | October 2020
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