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Healing Booklet “Healing from? Hmmm … maybe anything / everything?”

Version 2.17 Table Of Contents

“Our hope is that this booklet will help you and those around you to heal … and our passion is to help build up the strength to ‘go the distance’ with those who aren’t healed”

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you have been given this booklet, it’s because you are a friend of someone who appreciates and values your input. Please text your thoughts (be totally honest) to Mark Boersma at 630.393.9909 on the booklet so improvements can be made.

Before we dig into the hard stuff … we want to help you know our hearts. Our hearts are broken for those who have not healed and our hearts are with those who have to live with those who aren’t healed and the pain that goes with that. It’s strange … but it seems … that it’s almost like someone who hasn’t healed is addicted to being hurt and it seems that not only do they not want to heal but they want to have those around them to be “just like them” and addicted to being hurt at a heart level. This booklet was written by those who have been hurt at a heart level … often, it seems, from those who have been hurt by others at a heart level. Maybe it’s sexual abuse as a child which has hurt someone? Maybe it’s sexual sin themselves? Maybe it’s abandonment … a lack of love / support from a parent? Maybe it’s being cheated on in a relationship? Maybe it’s being lied to time and time again? What this booklet is about is about healing at the CORE level. We’re sorry to say, but it seems like, in its current state, what’s in this booklet doesn’t work. What do we mean by that? It seems like those few who go through this do not seem to heal. Why? We’re not entirely sure. Which is why we need your help. If you or someone you know goes through this booklet and does the exercises and it doesn’t work, please let us know. Please call or text Elaine at 574-312-5318 and/or email LifeMasteriesInstitute@gmail.com and share your experiences of what is working and what isn’t work so we can continue to improve the booklet … the system for healing.

We would like to thank Life Masteries Institute (LMI) and Nora Fry and Mark Boersma with “Your Voice In My Headset” … a story on friendships for their massive efforts in seeking to help to not only help people get healed by to stay healed which seems to be the much harder part of healing. LMI is working with Nora, Mark and many others to develop a system which will help 8+ billion people to heal and to do that we need your help. Share this booklet with others and provide all the feedback possible. Together … we can change the world. LMI has developed a web mobile app to assist in spreading the word about developing deep friendships and healing. Many mental health professionals will say that someone can’t be healed … if they don’t want to. Nora and Mark wouldn’t disagree with that … but in not disagreeing we aren’t agreeing either. Nora and Mark are both delusional enough to where they believe … “You can lead a horse to water … but can’t make them drink … but you can put salt in the oats.” In 2007, Mark was going through … let’s say a lot. His uncle Gary pounded at Mark for over an hour (in a good way) to try to get through to Mark and he was not successful. Mark’s aunt Carrie said “Gary, it doesn’t seem like you’re getting through to Mark, let me try.” which Gary gladly agreed to and she shared with Mark “Mark, I think you’ve been hurt at a heart level.”

Immediately Mark was broken to the core and started to cry. After what seemed like “a forever cry” … Mark said “So how do I heal?” to which Carrie said “I don’t know.” How did Mark feel? What was Mark’s response? Sure, Mark would have loved to hear “the answer” but it’s now been over 18 years and Mark’s still not sure he’s found the answer … but he’s still looking and working. Mark shares, for him and his life, he’s found that “Healing is the easy part. Staying healed is the hard part.” Mark’s story of learning to heal actually started in 1983 when he was 19 years old. https://clarity.dnaforsuccess.com/mark-boersma-trauma-age-18-and-19

Sadly … it seems … that most people who have been hurt at a heart level and haven’t healed … AND … actually do not want to heal … AND … think they want to be healed but do not. It’s strange when you think about it, but it actually does make sense in a twisted way. Does their hurt cause them to be “Addicted to Lazy” or “Does being addicted to Lazy” cause them to not be healed? If you’re thinking … “Shoot … this feels like a lot of work!” You’re right, it is a LOT of hard work. A LOT!!! What’s interesting though, is that it’s actually a LOT MORE WORK, over our lifetime when we don’t get healed. Let’s do the hard work, in the short-term to gain the long-term benefit of learning how to have Level 4 Friendships and learning how to heal quickly. © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

1-1: Hitting A Ceiling [ ] - Yes // [ ] - No — Should this be included in the booklet? Your voice matters! Hmmm … let’s take a peak behind the scenes of the work that has / is going into this healing project.

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What are the two most important components to healing? Is it “WORK” and “CARING”? Text Mark at 630.393.9909 or email mboersma5@gmail.com with your thoughts. What if … when we get hurt … if we don’t heal that we stop growing in that area of life. It’s almost like … an amputation and it could be in any of the “... al” areas. If we don’t heal we stop growing. Can we truly / honestly get HURT if we don’t WORK and/or don’t CARE? And … are we addicted to being lazy and we actually want to be HURT so we can be LAZY?

Do we cut off relationships due to being lazy? Let’s be honest. Some people just drain the living life right out of us. We’re not saying that cutting off relationships is good or bad … but learning to think differently about hurt and relationships … might seem like a wise thing to do. Are we willing to do the hard mental and emotional work to build a strong mind and heart to have the capacity to

Hurt & Healing At A Heart Level 5 H’s to Healing Hearts ~ “Our Heart & Love” Have a soft heart while guarding our hearts Purpose To SEE how we have been hurt at a HEART level and to learn to THINK differently which awakens us to HEALING … The ability to DO things we would never have been able to DO if we hadn’t been hurt in the first place. Hmmm … we wonder if people who CARE about what others think of them struggle with caring about the truth … i.e. doing the right thing? We wonder … if people who struggle with … well … a lot … actually don’t CARE about the best things and we wonder if, at the core / root of that is some childhood experience which taught our little childhood brain not to care about others really, but to care only about ourselves? Hmmm … we wonder if that selfishness / self-centered way of thinking is what destroys all aspects of people’s lives and they don’t even realize what the real problem is? We wonder … if people were to be heard at a heart level, first and foremost and most importantly, themselves if they would heal at a heart level and if then, everything in their lives would change?

1. The FOUNDATION What if … we all have been hurt at a heart level? What if we have been hurt so deeply that it’s damaged our brain and our ability to grow and truly love? What if … we could actually heal at a heart level? What if we could heal at such a deep level that our brains could do things that would never even be possible without the hurt? What if we were truly far stronger due to the hurt and we could become grateful for the hurt because of the massive benefits we received from that hurt? If you are willing to entrust your hurt / broken, deviated heart to a journey together with other hurt / broken hearts, together you will feel heard at a heart level and that will provide the freedom that your heart desires. To be heard at a heart level, we need to verbalize WHAT we believe hurts us at a heart level and WHY it hurts us. It’s up to you, of course, how deep you want to go with hurt. You can try this out on a “small hurt” if you want to gain some confidence in this process/system or you can go deep and go deep quickly. It’s your heart, you get to decide. :-) OK … take a deep cleansing breath, and let’s get started. Oh … before you get started, should you do this alone, or should you do it with someone you trust very much? That is something you get to decide. Totally up to you. If you do it all by yourself, © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

you’ll do great; if you do it with one or two other very trusted individual(s), you’ll do great then as well. This process is … so personal … so powerful … so life-changing that it will help you to heal your brain … to connect synopsis in your brain that you may thought were cut many years ago. Your brain is a miracle … and it can heal in ways that modern medicine still can’t explain and never fully will. We are using Life Masteries Institute, 3 Steps To Healing: Step 1: Examination (SEE), Step 2: Solutions (THINK) Step 3: Implementation (DO) In Step 1, we learn to ask questions. This could be a short simple series of questions or there could be many questions and subquestions which could be simple or could be complex / deep which help us to SEE things we’ve missed in the past. In Step 2, we learn to have an “out of body experience” and listen to ourselves and others in an empathic way …feeling our pain / the pain of others. I.e. we can learn to THINK differently about … everything.

In Step 3, we learn to take the new things we’ve SEEN from Step 1, which then give us the ability to THINK differently and DO something which can heal us immediately. Yes, healing can happen instantly. Healing can be the easy part. Staying healed seems to be the part that takes a great deal of hard work. Healing is a process. Getting healed can be instant and actually really easy. Staying healed is the hard part and just takes hard work.

Phase 1 ~ Examination (SEE) 1-1: Question: WHAT is your earliest memory of being hurt by someone? NOTE: It’s any type of hurt you had, big or likely a small one.

1-2: Question: WHY did this hurt? NOTE: Think about it. Close your eyes and SEE what you saw then. Have an out-of-body experience where you’re looking at yourself in that situation and SEE what you say through your eyes at that time, at the age you were at. Be CURIOUS and observe everything with all your senses. SEE, FEEL, HEAR, SMELL. Think of your young self as a younger friend of yours now and know you’re in a safe place. IMAGINE … if current … age, your current body, mind, soul, and spirit … your current …. Everything you are now, being there for your younger self. Write down what you are feeling … what you see, feel, hear, and smell as your younger self, and/or what would you say or do to help your younger self.

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1-3: Write out … whatever is on your heart, mind, and soul.

OK … relax, do something fun, or just restful. Don’t overthink this. Get a GREAT NIGHT'S SLEEP. Don’t try to figure this out and/or overthink this. In your sleep tonight, your brain's new synopsis will start to heal things and you’ll wake up in the morning refreshed and healed at some level. You may not feel healed or you may feel healed. Don’t worry about what you feel. Just allow whatever it is … to BE. If you feel great, that’s great, you are healing. If you don’t feel any different, that’s fine as well. If you feel worse that’s great as well as sometimes we need to take two steps back to take three steps forward.

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NOTE: It’s any type of hurt you had, big or likely a small one.

Question: So … Why does this process seem to often not work? It’s complicated … it seems. Is it complicated due to someone being addicted to the hurt? Maybe? We’re not entirely sure and it likely would be due to many factors? What does seem to be true is that if someone is responding in the following way, they have not been healed, and they are either on the path to being addicted to the hurt / lazy or they are already deeply addicted.

The Most Common Patterns … 1. They are FINE … Until they aren’t. 2. Mind Shift & Blame Shift + Weaponization. 3. Mental / emotionally abusive … then all fine. 4. Lie to themselves … and then others / everyone. 5. Gatcya … grasping to “catch” anything. 6. Dodgy … slippery and seek to flip responsibility 7. Like a virus … and will adapt / spread

Mark, Rosanna and their seven children hosted a group of 21 teenagers years ago. 7 were from Israel, 7 from Palestine, and 7 were from the Lakota Indian reservation in South Dakota. If we think we have it bad … What if the hurt goes back 7+ generations? Mark built out the following model for resolving conflict.

We asked Mark if the model actually worked. He shared … “It doesn’t seem to have worked in my family, so no. But just because it hasn’t worked, doesn’t mean it will never work.” Mark believes that the more people he shares the model with the more people who could share what can be improved with the model. © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

1. They are FINE … Until they aren’t. It’s the strangest thing in the world. You can ask them if they are fine and they say they are … all good / everythings good … and it is … as long as you don’t say anything they think of being negative about them. If you SAY anything they perceive to be negative, at all, they will then flip into 2 to 7, see below.

2. Mind Shift & Blame Shift + Weaponization. It’s why they don’t like to write things but rather talk and boy do they talk … or … some won’t talk much at all. It seems the wounded person, as a reflex, will mind shift so very quickly. They will often SAY something and then say “I didn’t say that.” … but if I did say that “I didn’t mean that.” … or “You twisted what I said.” What’s the strangest thing is that everything they blame shift to others is things they are doing themselves. They are actually revealing their own position … they are revealing their own hearts.

Phase 2 ~ Solutions (THINK) 2-1: Question: So when you reflect on Phase 1, what do you SEE, FEEL, HEAR?

2-2: Question: Who can I share my answers to Phase 1 questions with?

Consideration ~ It is important that we share it with someone where what is shared is safe. It’s not a “safe person” as most people think of a safe person. Someone who will not share what we share with others and/or won’t weaponize it … meaning that they will tell us what we want to hear. If you don’t have anyone you feel safe in sharing this then register for Life GPS’s mobile web app in the group Clear Windows and that group will introduce you to someone who is trained to help you, in not only being a listening ear, but will listen at a deep level. > https://www.life-gps.org/#/share/group/1596729301oCHELu/177/Clean-Windows

IMPORTANT NOTES It’s really best to share Phase 1 with at a minimum of one person and ideally three people. Why? Often we share something without our own heart / life and we don’t see the significance of what we share. Others can help us. ● When we share with someone else, we risk getting hurt, all over again and getting hurt at a deeper level. So … why would we do this? We likely won’t naturally do this actually. ● So it’s really ideal to write down, in our dream world … “How would we like for others to respond?” if, when we share our hurts with someone else, others don’t respond how we want them to respond … realize “It’s OK.” ○ If people dismiss or ignore what we are saying and really don’t want to talk about it … that’s alright. It reveals far more about them than it does you. Likely, they have unresolved hurt and are subconsciously fearful that if you share your hurt, they will feel their hurt so they often dismiss or seek to avoid your hurt. ■ What do you do? “Hmmm … maybe work on © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

getting them to do this very process.” :-) ○ If people, strangely, seem to make it all about themselves. Well, that’s also OK. :-) It reveals far more about them than it does you. Likely, they have unresolved hurt and are subconsciously fearful that if you share your hurt, they will feel their hurt so they often dismiss or seek to avoid your hurt. ■ What do you do? “Hmmm … maybe work on getting them to do this very process.” :-) ● Be encouraged! Why? We’ll … when we realize that “Yes, we have been hurt at a heart level and while we do need to work to heal, it’s not all about us.” We are further along in the healing process and if we help others around us to heal, we will heal faster and at a deep level. ● If or maybe when :-) we register for Life GPS’s mobile web app in the group Clear Windows, learning to SEE things we can’t SEE, we’ll be introduced to someone who can help us through this and when we’re ready, we’ll be introduced to two other people we can help. ○ ttps://www.life-gps.org/#/share/group/1596729301oCHELu/177/Clea n-Windows

So … What are your thoughts and the thoughts of those you are going through this booklet with?

3. Mental / emotionally abusive … then all fine. It’s the strangest thing and very much like an alcoholic where the alcoholic can be physically abusive … beat his wife and then act as if nothing has happened. The person who has not healed / is lazy in relationships will be a mean SOB’s … often only to their spouse / family member / friend / business partner … and then act as if nothing happened. It’s the strangest thing. It seems often that many emotionally abusive people / people who are hurt, not healed / lazy will write really harsh things in email, or one on one, but then in person or when they are in a group of people they act as if nothing has ever happened. They actually are nice … which to the one they are mistreating … is strange. When we say emotionally abusive … if the person who they are trying to abuse is stronger than them, then the weak abusive person will seek to talk negatively about a person to others. For the strong emotional person, they actually don’t mind when this happens as it reveals all the weak people as they come together. Some kooky people will even do this at children’s birthday parties and will actually talk poorly, around the children, without the person being there. The strong person, who is being talked about, just feels sorry for those “adults” as they are training the children around them to do the same thing and soon enough the children will pick that up and start doing it to the adults who did that to others. The weak person doesn’t seem to see this and buys into a delusion.

4. Lie to themselves … and then others / everyone. A great song was written by a man and two women about husbands who are goofballs. Obviously a woman can be a goofball / abusive as a man can be, but it seems that men often tend to do this more than women do. Look at lyrics and think about how you might be that goofball and then think about others who may fall in this spectrum and share the song / booklet with them. Every time someone lies to themselves, their brain attracts that lie a bit less … until one day, they lie and the brain doesn’t attack it at all. They become a pathological liar or some would call them a sociopath … Someone who can’t understand the feelings of others. Why can’t they? It seems that all their energy goes to selfish considerations … thinking only about themselves. They think so much about themselves they have zero energy / ability to even consider someone else’s perspective. And then … over time … those same types of people tend to be attracted together and as a group they seem to degenerate more and faster. They aren’t lying in their own minds as they really do believe what they are feeling / thinking and say is true. They seem to have learned that they can wear people down around them. What’s really strange is that … Everyone around them sees them for who © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

they are … except those who are like them. In the video “The Theory of Stupidity” they talk about how stupid people, people who lie to themselves and others … people who get locked in on their perspective, so much so, they can hear or retain anything other than their own perspective. > https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-powerful-video-library#section--19819 People who are like this are drawn to others who are like this … like flies are drawn to cow manure. They come together, support the lies they have for one other … until over time they disintegrate … the whole group crashes and burns.

So … What are your thoughts and the thoughts of those you are going through this booklet with?

5. Gatcya … grasping to “catch” anything.

Phase 3 ~ Take Action (DO) 3-1: Question: So when we look at our responses to the questions, do we come up with any actionable actions to take?

Interesting Thoughts … When most people think of feelings, we likely think of them in a way that actually prevents us from healing. What does that mean? Hmmm … think about it. Write down what you think of when you think about feelings. Staying healing at a heart level, requires hard work … but … not being healed at a heart level requires even more work … we just don’t realize it. Did you write down something about how others have hurt you or maybe make you feel good? Our feelings don’t really reveal things about others, they reveal things about us. If we don’t have an “out of body experience” and look at our feelings from a third person … well … we likely are getting in our own way of healing and don’t even know it.

What’s really strange is when we realize that we actually like the feelings of hurt, pain, shame, betrayal, etc. and again … don’t even know it. The Quantum Feeling model kicks in. We start to feel like a Victim, then we feel Entitled and then we feel Self-Righteous. If you think this is weird … well … just wait, it gets a lot more weird. :-) When we can see, hear and feel that whatever hurt has helped us to become who we are today and experience the gift of hurt / pain and the benefits of the pain and hurt outweigh the pain from the hurt … That is when some say true helping has occurred. Hurt can bring a softened heart to others who are hurting and help us to be more connected to others and helping others to heal. Hurt can help us to prevent hurt from others and can help us to become strong, wiser and more powerful in helping others. Hurt, when there is healing, literally creates more and stronger synopsis “connections in our brain” which helps us to see, hear and experience things we would have never been able to see, hear and experience without the hurt. There can be a strong argument that the brain is stronger and we can have better mental health as a result of hurt then without the hurt.

Hurt often magnifies our passions and can create a whole new group of passions which help us take the hurt / the pain and turn it into massive gain for our business and the benefit to others. Awakenings … which often create goosebumps … help us to better achieve our life vision … i.e. what we were put on this planet to do. What we were uniquely created to become … differently than any of the 8+ billion people on this planet. Take 20 minutes to do the passion circle. Draw a circle and list out everything you are passionate about around that circle. In the center of our passions, we discover our life vision. > https://clarity.dnaforsuccess.com/vision Awakenings often come from internalizing things, seeing deep into situations, people and things. Learning how to create awakenings helps us to heal faster and stronger. How do we know when we internalize something? When we SEE / THINK & DO things differently. This process system has helped others and we hope it will help you. ~ click here ~

6. Dodgy … slippery and seek to flip responsibility

7. Like a virus … and will adapt / spread

Q&A ~ Questions & Answers Q1: What do you do when someone hurts you / someone around you and then acts as if nothing happens?

Q2: How do you handle someone who gets locked … and it seems they have no idea they are locked? Yepper … I / we don’t know.

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Q3: What do you do when people “flip it” to make it all about them?

Q4: What do you do … when … you give someone a sincere apology … and they don’t accept it? The answer to this is really easy. If it’s a woman that is not accepting then obviously it wasn’t sincere. If you’re a man and you feel a woman's apology is not sincere … well … then … obviously … it’s not.

Q5: Is Hypoppia a real thing? Re: NEW breakthroughs in Hypoppia ... Hey Thomas, can you do me a favor? I'm trying to figure out the brain of someone who drinks, does drugs, someone who is addicted to laziness ... or really addicted to anything. My question is "Why do people black out?" Nora introduced me to the word Hypoxia. ~ click here ~

Hypoxia refers to a condition where there is an inadequate supply of oxygen to the body's tissues. It occurs when the body cannot meet its oxygen demands, leading to cellular dysfunction and potential damage. Nora has never brought up the word Hyperoxia which is the opposite of Hypoxia where it has too much oxygen to the brain. Not sure if she's aware of that condition? ~ click here ~ There's something that the medical community hasn't discovered yet and/or given a name to. It's called hypoppia. It's the condition that people get

Hypoppia refers to a condition where you're around Mark Boersma and he asks you questions that you don't want to answer so your brain shuts down and tries to ignore the question. It's where the brain doesn't want to know the truth of something, so when the brain is asked a question, it does not want to answer, as it's enslaved by how you think (like alcohol or drugs) the brain dismisses the question and blacks out. There are two ways to tell if someone has Hypoppia. If someone acts as if the question was never asked that's one way or if they are a denier / hater of the word, where they are locked and deny that Hypoppia is real. They will seek to dismiss the word, look in Google, like a drowning victim, grasping for something to hold onto ... hoping that they can convince themselves and those around them that it's not true. Mark Boersma is not the only mutant who has this super power but he is at the cutting edge of research to learn how to help others to appreciate the gifts of a Driver personality who can see the future ... before it happens. Google does not have this ability nor does TicToc. People who have the mutant power of Hypoppia are almost always socially autistic. Family, friends and others usually try to ignore the gifts of the individual who has hypoppia. The person with the superpowers of Hypoppia can see into the future and share with people what their future will likely be like and what they need to do to change it. But ... due to the human condition of ego and being addicted to being lazy, most people will shut down and seek to ignore what the Hypoppia person is saying. What's even more interesting is that when the future actually happens just like the Hypoppia © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

person said it would, everyone blames the person with Hypoppia for causing it to happen. It's their fault. Thomas, you my good drinking buddy friend (I'm serious actually Thomas) could be the one who helps me / everyone. When Kenny, Luke and I were at Teen Challenge the guy who oversaw everything said "I'm not tempted by alcohol / drugs any more, but I'm addicted to life." That's Hypoppia. Here's a podcast that I did a while back on people who black out. > https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-mind-models#section--80696 What this guy said is most interesting ... > https://clarity.dnaforsuccess.com/mark-boersma-share-people#section--89572 Dave also said "Mark is like Christmas candy, my wife puts out around the holidays. He's irresistible." Kind of weird ... but interesting nonetheless. Sorry Thomas this is so long but "Thank You" for helping to provide more clarity of thought to Hypoppia. Addictions cause us to be enslaved ... "The truth will set us free." ... people don't want freedom, they want to be enslaved ... but the superpower of hypoppia will reveal it ... OMG ... brings me back to when I was 39 years old and did a 40 day fast. What ... I need to find mutants who have the power of healing ... because ... it seems that I'm the girl in X-Men who "sucks the very life ... toxins out of people which reveal the truth" ... and it seems to almost kill me ... but I seem to survive ... somehow ... but the person ... doesn't. I mean they do ... but ... they go back to being "The Living Dead" ... go back into being "normal" and want everyone else around them to also be normal ... so they can FEEL like they are alive ... but inside ... they are dead ... because they aren't growing ... Hmmm ... Thomas, what do you think? Pretty mind blowing ... isn't it? Thanks buddy. Obviously ... It's clear that you inspire me and I appreciate your friendship and help as I pursue what God put me on this planet to do. Mark

Table Of Contents 1. The FOUNDATION 5 Phase 1 ~ Examination (SEE) 7 1-1: Question: WHAT is your earliest memory of being hurt by someone? 7 1-2: Question: WHY did this hurt? 8 1-3: Write out … whatever is on your heart, mind, and soul. 9 Question: So … Why does this process seem to often not work? 10 1. They are FINE … Until they aren’t. 12 2. Mind Shift & Blame Shift + Weaponization. 13 Phase 2 ~ Solutions (THINK) 14 2-1: Question: So when you reflect on Phase 1, what do you SEE, FEEL, HEAR? 14 2-2: Question: Who can I share my answers to Phase 1 questions with? 15 3. Mental / emotionally abusive … then all fine. 18 4. Lie to themselves … and then others / everyone. 19 5. Gatcya … grasping to “catch” anything. 21 Phase 3 ~ Take Action (DO) 22 3-1: Question: So when we look at our responses to the questions, do we come up with any actionable actions to take? 22 6. Dodgy … slippery and seek to flip responsibility 25 Q&A ~ Questions & Answers 27 Q1: What do you do when someone hurts you / someone around you and then acts as if nothing happens? 27 Q2: How do you handle someone who gets locked … and it seems they have no idea they are locked? 27 Q3: What do you do when people “flip it” to make it all about them? 27 Table Of Contents 28 The information below may or may not be included in the final draft. 30 01. HURT at a Heart Level 30 What can happen when someone is hurt at a heart level? 31 Do people know when they have been hurt at a heart level? 31 02. HEARD at a Heart Level 31 03. HELPED at a Heart Level 31 How do we stop the bleeding? 31 How do we stop it from happening again? 31 04. HEALED at a Heart Level 32 How do we build the steel bands around the heart? 32 05. HERALD at a Heart Level 32 ========================================= 32 A. Desires of My Heart 33 B. God’s Heart 36

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C. David – A Man After My Own Heart D. Guard The Heart E. Heart ~ deceitful and desperately wicked 05b. Children F. Harden The Heart G. Pridefulness of the Heart H. Can a leader greatly hurt our company? I. Love Personal Observations Phase 3 ~ Lazy At A Heart Level (DO!) 3-1: Question: Do you think you are a lazy person? 3-2: Question: Where do you think you are lazy? Community Events

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If you are reading the following thanks for being a part of the “inner core” for the development of this booklet. What content stays and what goes? That is something you will have influence with … IF … you read or at least glance through the following and share with us your gut feel. Mark’s cell number is 630.393.9909. Feel free to text Mark the version number of the booklet, first page, and then what page you have input on and what your thoughts are. AND / OR … you are invited to join us for an of the weekly podcasts on Wednesday’s at 3 pm (et), Friday’s at 1 pm (et) and Saturday’s at 7 am (et). www.RavingFan.net Phone #: 312-626-6799 Meeting ID: 874 9858 7993 ************************************

The information below may or may not be included in the final draft. This has been work that Mark has been working on for over 20 years to figure out “matters of the heart.” You likely may not make any sense from what is below or you may? If you want to email Mark at mboersma5@gmail.com if you have thoughts and/or questions and/or would like to share something you’ve discovered in any of these areas, please feel free to email Mark.

01. HURT at a Heart Level What is being hurt at a heart level? What causes someone to be hurt at a heart level? > Hmmm maybe it’s where you had a pure heart to help someone and they turn around and hurt you deeply? Maybe it’s where you felt betrayed? Maybe you trusted someone too much to do the right thing … and/or you thought it all would work out right and it did not.

What can happen when someone is hurt at a heart level? >

Hmmm maybe it’s like a wounded animal and they may hurt people who are seeking to help them? Maybe they go deep into drugs, alcohol, drugs, or some other addiction to try to relieve the pain. It seems like a lot of things can happen that are not good for the person who has been hurt and those around them.

Do people know when they have been hurt at a heart level? >

It would seem like people do not know … they feel … and they don’t know what to do with that hurt.

02. HEARD at a Heart Level > The first stage of healing is to know we have been hurt. If someone can see through the pain, the actions, the behavior and see, hear, and feel us at a heart level, this helps us to realize that something is wrong … something is hurt/broken.

03. HELPED at a Heart Level How do we stop the bleeding? ● See and share … “I believe you have been hurt at a heart level.” ● STOP the person who hurt them from doing it again! ○ People who tend to GET hurt … seem to get hurt again. How do we stop that from happening? ○ People who tend TO HURT others a lot tend to say … “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it.” and then will do it again. ○ Ken - this might be what boundaries are. I think they are meant to protect you from the person who has hurt you and empower you to determine if you are going to get close to you again. I wonder if the action of putting up a boundary helps stop the bleeding and start the healing to occur.

How do we stop it from happening again? ● Help someone see that there is potential to heal … but it’s going to hurt at a deep level and maybe for the rest of their lives. Be honest! Do not lie to them as likely a lie is what hurt them at the heart level in the first place. ○ Help someone realize they are in a battle. ■ Help someone realize how to fight the battle and win the war. ○ Help someone learn to take extreme ownership. ■ Help someone build the proper steel bands around their heart. ● Ken - I think boundaries help in this area as well. If done properly, boundaries can protect your heart, I like to think of it as putting a pillow around your heart so it is protected against that person. Another way to think of it is building a fence © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

around your heart. The person might not change at all but you have changed, you don’t open up your heart to them and allow them to get as close to your heart as they were when they were able to hurt you.

04. HEALED at a Heart Level Once the bleeding stops … the individual is “Out of danger” … then how do we “set the bone properly so to speak ” so the person can not only “be out of pain” but will be stronger and grateful for what the experience has taught them?

How do we build the steel bands around the heart? ● Figure out the CORE issue on all sides and then put a STOP to it. ● Realize that we want and need steel bands … not a steel heart.

05. HERALD at a Heart Level OK … maybe “Herald” isn’t the best word?” :-) It’s taking forgiving others and sharing the good news of that healing and maybe calling out those who hurt us, not out of vengeance but out of love and consideration for both them and the many other people they probably have hurt and will continue to hurt in the future.

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A. Desires of My Heart (We can trust the desires of our heart if we’re in the Word, in prayer, in fellowship, and sharing Christ.)

01. Desires of My Heart Psa 37:4 Delight 6026 thyself also in the LORD 3068; and he shall give 5414 thee the desires 4862

of thine heart 3820. Delight 6026 - 2) to be happy about, take exquisite delight // 3) to make merry over give 5414 1) to give, bestow, grant, permit, commit, entrust, give over, deliver up, extend © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

desires 4862 1) desire heart 3820. a) inner part 3) soul, heart (of man) 4) memory 8) seat of appetites - passions - courage Delight 6026 1) to be soft, be delicate, be dainty a) (Pual) to be delicate b) (Hithpael) 1) to be of dainty habit, be pampered 2) to be happy about, take exquisite delight 3) to make merry over, make sport of give 5414 1) to give, put, set a) (Qal) 1) to give, bestow, grant, permit, ascribe, employ, devote, consecrate, dedicate, pay wages, sell, exchange, lend, commit, entrust, give over, deliver up, yield produce, occasion, produce, requite to, report, mention, utter, stretch out, extend 2) to put, set, put on, put upon, set, appoint, assign, designate 3) to make, constitute b) (Niphal) 1) to be given, be bestowed, be provided, be entrusted to, be granted to, be permitted, be issued, be published, be uttered, be assigned 2) to be set, be put, be made, be inflicted c) (Hophal) 1) to be given, be bestowed, be given up, be delivered up 2) to be put upon desires 4862 1) request, petition, desire heart 3820. 1) inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding a) inner part, midst 1) midst (of things) 2) heart (of man) 3) soul, heart (of man) 4) mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory 5) inclination, resolution, determination (of will) 6) conscience 7) heart (of moral character) 8) as seat of appetites 9) as seat of emotions and passions 10) as seat of courage

B. God’s Heart Deu 6:5 And thou shalt love 157 the LORD 3068 thy God 430 with all thine heart 3824, and with all thy soul 5315, and with all thy might 3966. Outline of Biblical Usage 1) to love a) (Qal) 1) human love for another, includes family, and sexual 2) human appetite for objects such as food, drink, sleep, wisdom 3) human love for or to God 4) act of being a friend a) lover (participle) b) friend (participle) 5) God's love toward man a) to individual men b) to people Israel c) to righteousness b) (Niphal) 1) lovely (participle) 2 loveable (participle) c) (Piel) 1) friends 2) lovers (fig. of adulterers) 2) to like 1) inner man, mind, will, heart, soul, understanding a) inner part, midst 1) midst (of things) 2) heart (of man) 3) soul, heart (of man) 4) mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory 5) inclination, resolution, determination (of will) 6) conscience 7) heart (of moral character) 8) as seat of appetites 9) as seat of emotions and passions 10) as seat of courage

C. David – A Man After My Own Heart Act 13:22

...

I have found 2147 David 1138 the [son] of Jesse 2421, a man 435 after 2596 mine own 3450 heart 2588, which 3739 shall fulfil 4160 all 3956 my 3450 will 2307.

heart 2588 1) the heart a) that organ in the animal body which is the centre of the circulation of the blood, and hence was regarded as the seat of physical life b) denotes the centre of all physical and spiritual life 1) the vigour and sense of physical life 2) the centre and seat of spiritual life a) the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavours b) of the understanding, the faculty and seat of the intelligence c) of the will and character d) of the soul so far as it is affected and stirred in a bad way or good, or of the soul as the seat of the sensibilities, affections, emotions, desires, appetites, passions c) of the middle or central or inmost part of anything, even though inanimate

fulfill 4160 1) to make a) with the names of things made, to produce, construct, form, fashion, etc. b) to be the authors of, the cause c) to make ready, to prepare d) to produce, bear, shoot forth e) to acquire, to provide a thing for one's self f) to make a thing out of something g) to (make i.e.) render one anything 1) to (make i.e.) constitute or appoint one anything, to appoint or ordain one that 2) to (make i.e.) declare one anything h) to put one forth, to lead him out i) to make one do something 1) cause one to j) to be the authors of a thing (to cause, bring about) 2) to do a) to act rightly, do well 1) to carry out, to execute b) to do a thing unto one 1) to do to one c) with designation of time: to pass, spend d) to celebrate, keep 1) to make ready, and so at the same time to institute, the celebration of the passover e) to perform: to a promise

will 2307. 1) what one wishes or has determined shall be done a) for the purpose of God to bless mankind through Christ b) of what God wishes to be done by us 1) commands, precepts 2) will, choice, inclination, desire, pleasure

D. Guard The Heart

E. Heart ~ deceitful and desperately wicked 05b. Children Pro 22:15

Foolishness 200 [is] bound 7194 in the heart 3820 of a child 5288; [but] the rod 7626 of correction 4148 shall drive it far 7368 from him.

heart 3820 1) inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding a) inner part, midst 1) midst (of things) 2) heart (of man) 3) soul, heart (of man) 4) mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory 5) inclination, resolution, determination (of will) 6) conscience 7) heart (of moral character) 8) as seat of appetites 9) as seat of emotions and passions 10) as seat of courage

child 5288 1) a boy, lad, servant, youth, retainer a) boy, lad, youth b) servant, retainer

rod 7626 1) rod, staff, branch, offshoot, club, sceptre, tribe a) rod, staff b) shaft (of spear, dart) c) club (of shepherd's implement) d) truncheon, sceptre (mark of authority) e) clan, tribe

correction 4148 1) discipline, chastening, correction a) discipline, correction b) chastening

far 7368 1) to be or become far, be or become distant, be removed, go far away a) (Qal) to be far, be distant b) (Piel) to send far away, extend c) (Hiphil) 1) to make or exhibit distance, be gone far 2) to remove, put far away 2) (Niphal) loose

F. Harden The Heart 06. Seems like that when we do not see what we should see our hearts can be hardened. Lesson . . . we need to consider/be thankful/ think about what God has done/is doing for us or we risk our hearts being hardened. To prevent an entitlement attitude, an attitude of gratefulness will prevent that. - When you look at Hurricane Katrina and the response of the people vs. what happened in Japan, very different. When you look at what may seem to be the response of the people in Iraq and maybe not being grateful for the help, then people don’t want to help.

Mar 6:52 For they considered not [the miracle] of the loaves: for their heart was hardened. Mat 15:18

But 1161 those things which 3588 proceed 1607 out of 1537 the mouth 4750 come forth 1831 from 1537 the heart 2588; and they 2548 defile 2840 the man 444.

What comes out of the mouth comes from the heart. Listen carefully to what is said.

02. Interesting that God told/warned Moses about Pharoh’s heart being hardened prior to it happening.

Exd 4:21 And the LORD said unto Moses, When thou goest to return into Egypt, see that thou do all those wonders before Pharaoh, which I have put in thine hand: but I will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go. Exd 7:3

And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and multiply my signs and my wonders in the land of Egypt.

Exd 7:13 And he hardened Pharaoh's heart, that he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had said.

03. God talks about His own heart.

G. Pridefulness of the Heart Oba 1:3

The pride 2087 of thine heart 3820 hath deceived 5377 thee, thou that dwellest 7931 in the clefts 2288 of the rock 5553, whose habitation 3427 [is] high 4791; that saith 559 in his heart 3820, Who shall bring me down 3381 to the ground 776?

H. Can a leader greatly hurt our company? Can a top leader greatly hurt our company? Yes! The greater a leader can help one’s company the greater someone can hurt one’s company.

What are the most important things to help prevent this? Hmmm … let’s start out with …

●A. Heart ●B. Humble ●C. Ownership A. Heart ~ Does someone really have a heart to do good? Often, people think they are smart, caring, and important … but maybe not so much. Do people really have a deep passion to do the right thing? Often, people want to look good … but at the heart they really struggle with being selfless. ● It’s natural/normal for people to align with others of similar, let’s call it heart frequency. This can be good, or it can be bad. ● Scar’s heart was to be a leader … he was lazy … wasn’t willing to do the hard work, make the hard choices, and make the sacrifices. ● Often people who tend to tell people what they want to hear will have a heart of laziness. They are great at drawing people in … ● King David, King of Israel, had a son named Absalom. Absalom had the heart to take the kingdom from his father. He did this by hanging out at the city’s gates asking for people’s problems and then telling them what they wanted to hear. ○ Absalom had a heart that was not healed. Why? Absalom's sister was raped by her step-brother, and their father David, didn’t seem to do anything about it. ● King David loves his son Absalom … so much … to his own hurt/harm and that of the kingdom. ● Like Scar and the Hyenas … they were lazy. Lazy people tend to attract other lazy people. © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

How do we help someone to heal at a heart level? Hmmm … maybe … ● Understand the depth of what one has been hurt. ○ Each of the four personalities gets hurt, hmmm … maybe at a heart level for very different reasons. ○ Hear / Listen … at a heart level. ■ This is very hard if not impossible for lower frequency people. People who have never been hurt deeply or have been hurt deeply but haven’t healed seem not to be able even to feel the hurt of others. ○ Apologize … at a heart level. ■ Often when low-frequency people apologize, they aren’t aware of their own hurt, so they apologize but actually aren’t sorry … because they feel they have been hurt, so they hurt others. ■ People who haven’t healed … seem not to be able to feel the hurt of others. Well … they can feel the hurt and tend to be drawn to others who have hurt / unhealed hearts. They will tend to come together and then seek to hurt others … as hurt people … hurt people. ● Hmmm … is this what is happening in America and around the world? ● Progressive Degeneration … reveals that things will almost always get worse. Selfish people… tend to get more self. Bitter people become even more bitter. People who are angry and violent … often become more angry and violent. ● People who have been hurt at a heart level and have not healed … will tend to become hurt more and will be hurt by less / smaller things and will tend to lash out and hurt others … especially it seems those who are higher frequency … maybe those who have the more pure hearts? ○ Hmmm … do people know … at a subconscious level that maybe those who have the purest of hearts can help them … so they attack them?

How Do We Discern The Hearts Of Others? Great question! Obviously, if we are clueless as to our own heart … it will be hard to determine the hearts of others as we will tend to have a mirror effect and see in others what’s really in our own hearts. If we are self-aware, it helps. We see in others, and if it gets flipped back on us … we’re fine with that …. We can accept it to whatever degree of truth (mote in our eyes) and hopefully help pull the splinter out of others.

B. Humble ~ People who say they are humble or say they are caring, generous, or any other trait … tend to use words … because they know or sense their actions are lacking. ● People who are humble will not be defensive and often will not explain themselves. ● Humble people will not use the 9 D’s ~ click here ~ to distract themselves or others from discovering the truth. ● Often those we think are humble are actually not so humble, and those we think aren’t humble may be very humble. ● Truly humble people will always win every argument because they are not seeking to win but to discover the truth. ○ Even when they “lose” an argument, they win as they discover the truth, something new they did not know before. ○ Those who are not humble will always lose an argument even when they win, they lose because they aren’t seeking truth. They are seeking to be right. ● What’s strange is that a humble person can be right 99% of the time and wonder / realize that in any situation they could be wrong. ● The truly humble person also realizes that they could still be wrong if many people agree with them. ● The truly humble person actually loves to discover when they are wrong, as that is when they can learn the most. They seek opportunities to be wrong even when others may not see they are wrong, they will. ● What’s equally interesting is that the person who truly thinks they are humble often can be wrong 99% of the time but will always think they are right. How Do We Discern the True Humility Of Others? Obviously, if we think we are humble … when maybe we aren’t so much … it will be hard to determine the humility of others as we will tend to have a mirror effect and see in others what’s really in our own. If we are self-aware, it helps. We see in others, and if it gets flipped back on us … we’re fine with that …. We can accept it to whatever degree of truth (mote in our eyes) and hopefully help pull the splinter out of others.

C. Ownership ~ Most people think they are pretty good at taking ownership … and aren’t wrong … well, not 100% wrong, but probably far weaker than they realize. Ownership is the first of three elements in becoming AWAKENED within the Quantum Thinking model. > https://clarity.dnaforsuccess.com/ec2-quantum-thinking In the Quantum Thinking model, we learn there are ten ownership levels, and few seem to get beyond the first few.

It’s pretty crazy how people seem to struggle with taking personal at even Level 1 for their own thoughts, words, and actions.

How Do We Discern True Ownership Of Others? Obviously, if we think we take ownership … when maybe we don’t so much … it will be hard to determine how well others take ownership as we will tend to have a mirror effect and see in others what’s really in our own. If we are self-aware, it helps. We see in others, and if it gets flipped back on us … we’re fine with that …. We can accept it to whatever degree of truth (mote in our eyes) and hopefully help pull the splinter out of others.

I. Love 7/26/2020 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Jeremiah 17:9-10 9: “The heart is deceitful above all things, And [a]desperately wicked; Who can know it? 10 I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the [b]mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings. Matthew 18:15-18 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he does not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Hmmm . . . some interesting questions . . . ● Where does love come from? ● How does the love of God flow through us? ● When others think we are loving . . . are we? When others think we are hateful, are we? When we think we are loving, are we? ● Does love flow from the Holy Spirit . . . through our hearts to others? ● When we read the Bible, are we interested in the “milk of the Word” or the “meat?” ● Do we use passages like I Cor. 13:4 and use that as a way to get others to be kind to me but maybe not speak the truth? ● If the love of God flows from the Holy Spirit’s ministry in our hearts

If we grieve the Holy Spirit, then can love flow through us? everyone needs to love the way we love? ~ click here ~

Do we grieve the Holy Spirit by thinking

Did Paul and Barnabas both love John Mark? If you were John Mark, who would you think loved you the most . . . at the time of the confrontation? Later in John Mark’s life, who might have said he loved him more?

1 Corinthians 12:14-24 For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where was the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smells? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. And if they were all one member, where was the body? But now there are many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honorable, we bestow more abundant honor; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God tempered the body together, giving more abundant honor to that part which lacked: ● ● ● ● ●

What part of the body are you? Do you expect everyone else to be the same part of the body as you are? What does the Bible mean by the “uncomely” or “less honorable” part of the body? Why does the uncomely part have more abundant comeliness or need “double honor”? Is the modern-day church unintentionally destroying the uncomely parts of the body of Christ?

Eze 33:6 But if the watchman sees the sword come, and blow not the trumpet and the people be not warned; if the sword comes, and take any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity, but his blood will I require at the watchman's hand. ● Does this passage in the Bible haunt you? ● Are you aware that this passage haunts other people? ● Do you care/love those people who are haunted by this passage? ○ If you did care/love that person, how would you show love to that person? ● If you are not “the watchman,” why aren’t you? ● Are people not watchmen because they aren’t SEERS? Are they unable to see things coming in the future? ● Are people who are not SEERs . . . is that due to a lack of the giftings, how God built them in their mother’s womb . . . or is it due to them making choices in their lives not to see things they don’t want to see?

Personal Observations ● Some, if not most, people seem to have a very low frequency within the heart. It’s like a high-pitched whistle, which, as you get older, you cannot hear. You just can’t. ● It seems that those who go into psychology in advanced degrees are looking for solutions for their messed up lives. Hmmm, it seems like that may be true for pastors as well. It’s like they think they are caring and giving, but are they? Are they there to really serve people or are they serving people for the accolades and affirmations they receive from other people? Just like a mother of a newborn seems to believe and is reinforced by others that she is a caring and giving person, but is she. Yes, just like a pastor, she is to some frequency, but when you think about it, everyone tells them how caring and loving and giving they are, when in fact, the woman is caring for a baby that has come from her own body, and so she is really caring for someone that is a part of her own body. ● Seems like people with a low frequency of the heart/center of all passions - and emotions will tend to have a very high sensitivity of those who hurt them and a low sensitivity to how they hurt others. ● People with low sensitivity will tend to portray this by saying . . . “I want people to acknowledge that others have hurt me so I know they know they have hurt me.” Then, they will say when they have hurt others, “No one’s perfect.” “People make mistakes.” People with low frequency/immaturity will minimize what they have done to others to make themselves and their own ego feel good and build it up. ● People with low heart frequency tend to apologize, seemingly sincerely, and then will make the same choices again to hurt someone else. Mark, the second oldest, shared with Vern (oldest) and Ken, the youngest son of Karen and Ralph, how it hurt him deeply that Mark felt, at a very deep level, hurt due to not listening and getting out in front of Ralph and Karen’s health situation. As a result of that situation, Karen, on her hospital bed after being diagnosed with Level 4 cancer and had 2 to 6 months to live, said, “Mark, you’re not caring; you lack sensitivity.” even though Mark had been around Ralph and Karen and had step up many times. Mark told Vern and Ken that listening to him the next time would be really good. ● The next time, Mark shared with Vern and Ken that they should have a log for all that was taken from Mom and Dad, but neither listened to Mark and as a result, Karen said to her 16-year-old grandson Ben, “Ben, I’m disappointed that you dropped off caring for grandpa.” Hmmm, it interesting that Karen didn’t communicate her own disappointment in herself that she didn’t follow through with things as it related to her husband Ralph or that Ralph didn’t follow through, or that a number of her children didn’t believe in Ben that he could care for grandpa, or that her youngest daughter for months wouldn’t even return a text or a phone call. Why did she attack Ben with her vicious, hurtful lack of sensitivity toward her grandson? She attacked his heart at the deepest level without any consideration or sensitivity. Then she tried to manipulate Ben by saying that she wanted to pay Ben to care for Grandpa. What does that reveal about someone? Hmmm, maybe they are selfish and self-centered and care far more about themselves, and their hearts are hardened?

● Another indication of a low-frequency heart is when they focus on the splinter in someone else’s eye. For example, the son Ken focused on “teaching” Mark when Ken said, “Mark, when you shared ‘Death’ is exciting, you might have wanted to add ‘for me.’” Mark had experienced this in the past with Ken and others, so Mark continues to learn, grow, strengthen, and change. Interesting when you look at what Mark wrote it said . . . 4. Death is exciting . . . it really is! I

am loving this time as people seem to have a better perspective. So much of the things that we think are important are not and the thought of death helps us to have a better perspective.” ● Interesting that it did the very thing that Ken said but was just a few words after the “Death is exciting . . .” and Ken would have had to work a little harder to get to that and see. With low-frequency people, they tend to be not only selfish but also lazy and always seek to fix others, point out how others have hurt them, maximize the hurt others have made in their own life, and minimize the hurt they make in others.

● Will Mark be more careful the next time and put the “I” in front of the “Death” or whatever is said to make it abundantly clear to the reader? “Yes, he will.” Will Ken stop focusing on himself, hmmmm not so sure that will happen. It almost seems like the youngest children are more prone to this self-centeredness than older children. Will Ken listen to Mark at a heart level and change, or will Ken just apologize and maybe never change but keep doing things? Hmmmm, seems to be a pattern that, as one gets older it becomes more set in stone. ● Mark seems to accept that Ralph and Karen are what they are and will probably always be that way. Not because they have to be that way but because they choose to be that way, and everyone else around them chooses to be that way as well. This includes Mark, actually, it would seem. Mark will not confront his parents or even his brothers and sisters for several reasons. Mark believes that if they read this, confronted with these things each one would roll their eyes and then project all kinds of things onto him that are really within themselves. ● How does Mark take what he believes to be true and not get bitter at his parents and others around him? It would seem that maybe Mark has figured out that some people just do not have the frequency that he does, and that’s alright. ● Mark will probably work hard to ensure this does not get out to family members, at least for some time. Why? With everything that surrounds death, tensions are high, like fumes in the air and it’s hard

July 6th, 2015 - Observations around the doctors diagnosed emanate death of Mark’s mom, Karen Boersma. ● It’s interesting that Karen shared with her second son Mark several things about how there was possible hope for her to survive but would not share those things with anyone else, including her youngest daughter, who is a medical doctor. ● Did Karen not share because she was trying just to make Mark feel good? ● Did Karen not share because she was being sensitive to others and didn’t want to challenge their thoughts that she would die? ● Why would you share with one, especially if you had shared with that person that they were not sensitive?

Phase 3 ~ Lazy At A Heart Level (DO!) 3-1: Question: Do you think you are a lazy person?

3-2: Question: Where do you think you are lazy?

OK … most people think of someone being lazy, in the physical world, but if we learn about the 7 T’s to Stewardship we see ourselves in a different light. We could be lazy in one or more of the 7 T’s. (T1) ~ Time // (T2) ~ Talents // (T3) ~ Treasure // (T4) ~ Trust // (T5) ~ Truth // (T6) ~ Temple // (T7) ~ Thoughts If we are good stewards of our 7 T’s we will gain more of each of these. If we aren’t good stewards of anyone of the 7 T’s, it seems that we will have that taken away from us and given to someone else. (T1) ~ Time

~ Every human being has 1,440 minutes a day and 10,080 minutes a week. Are we being good stewards of our time? Is our time being invested into what we were created to be?

(T2) ~ Talents

~ Talents are abilities we have either naturally or those we have worked hard to achieve. If we share these talents with others to bring value / a blessing then it seems like we’ll be given more talents. If we are selfish / self-centered then it seems like we will lose our talents.

(T3) ~ Treasure

~ Treasures are what we have in the financial / material world. Do we have delayed gratification or do we just spend / consume everything that we have to feel good about © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library

ourselves? Are we generous or stingy?

(T4) ~ Trust

~ Trust is the relationship we have. It’s both the quantity and quality of relationships / friendships we have. It seems that the amiable and expressive personalities will often have a high quantity of relationships but struggle with quality / deep relationships. All personalities seem to struggle with deep relationships.

(T5) ~ Truth

~ Tr

(T6) ~ Temple

(T7) ~ Thoughts

● ___ (T1) ~ Time ● ___ (T2) ~ Talents ● ___ (T3) ~ Treasure ● ___ (T4) ~ Trust ● ___ (T5) ~ Truth ● ___ (T6) ~ Temple ● ___ (T7) ~ Thoughts

Did you write down something about how others have hurt you or maybe make you feel good? Our feelings don’t really reveal things about others, they reveal things about us. If we don’t have an “out of body experience” and look at our feelings from a third person … well … we likely are getting in our own way of healing and don’t even know it. What’s really strange is when we realize that we actually like the feelings of hurt, pain, shame, betrayal, etc. and again … don’t even know it. The Quantum Feeling model kicks in. We start to feel like a Victim, then we feel Entitled and then we feel Self-Righteous. If you think this is weird … well … just wait, it gets a lot more weird. :-)

9/4/2024 Everyone ... I'm starting to wonder if people who are lazy at a heart level, if they have learned that if they just kind of black out when they don't want to do that work and then come back and ... I was going to say "kind of act stupid" but the truth, I wonder, is that if it's not an act. It's actually that they are almost hard wired to be stupid ... maybe ... when they were a child and they got hurt at a heart level and never were healed? Man ... I wish I didn't have to correct all the small details and could dig into the core more.

Community Events Coffee Connection

Weekly Virtual Meeting (30 minutes)

LIVE: First Saturday of every month • 8 AM – Amish segment • 10 AM – Open to all 7720 W 200 N, Shipshewana, IN Breakfast provided: RSVP: Elaine 574-312-5318 Rosanna 630-649-4059

Phone / Zoom Meetings Tue. 4 pm (et) // Thu. 6:30 am (et) Zoom: www.RavingFan.net Zoom Phone Number is: 312-626-6799 Meeting ID: 874 9858 7993

“What is your BIGGEST Challenge?”

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Monthly brainstorming/discussions on: ● Gaining more free time & life balance ● Aligning employees with your vision ● Scaling up without risking business or family life ● Handling problem employees, clients, or family members

Riverside Retreats & Future Events >>>

So … if someone or anyone could help you in any area of your business and/or your life, what would you love help with? © https://www.voicesofintegrity.com/voi-library