God Adopted Us First 033125 SAMPLE

If you’ve ever considered adoption or were adopted or have already adopted children, you will love this beautiful book by Alice Murray. Alice was an adoption attorney for thirty-five years. Now she tells some of the stories about her work and all the many clients she helped through beautiful devotionals powered by Scripture. I laughed and cried through most of these amazing stories that show us God is always in the details. Not only did I find the stories fascinating and heartbreaking, but I also saw joy in many of them. Unexpected joy—the kind only the Lord can make happen. What a great tribute to God from a true servant who fought the good fight and united so many families with children who needed them. Highly recommend this book. — Lenora Worth, New York Times, Publishers Weekly, and USA Today best-selling Christian fiction author and adoptive grandmother is book hit all the right chords with me. Not only does Alice Murray give us a fascinating glimpse into the world of an adoption attorney, she speaks to the very heart of what it means to be adopted into the family of God. Each true story was so riveting that I probably would have devoured the whole book in one sitting if the faith lessons at the end of the chapters weren’t so thought-provoking. As an adoptive parent and former CASA volunteer, I truly appreciate the candor and heart that went into this power-packed devotional, and I can’t wait to share it with everyone I know. — Annette Marie Gri n , adoptive mother, award-winning writer, author of What’s a Family?

As an adopted child myself, I have experienced the beauty of adoption. As a Christian, I have received the unconditional love from our heavenly Father. Reading these touching stories from Alice’s journey as an adoption attorney reminded me of the truth of both of those experiences! e stories themselves are captivating, but the way she connects each one to a biblical truth is the real takeaway. Whether you are a part of the adoption triad or not, I think you’ll find Alice’s book to be an inspiring and worthy read!

Marcia Ramirez , adoptee, founder and president of God and My Girlfriends Ministries, singer-songwriter, author of God, My Girlfriends & Me

Alice H. Murray’s book, God Adopted Us First , combines devotional exercises with compelling stories from her thirty-five years as an adoption

attorney. roughout her career, she has worked closely with birth mothers, adoptive parents, and others impacted by adoption. is book off ers a fresh and engaging perspective from a credible voice in the discussions surrounding adoption, love, loss, law, and faith. — Rhonda M. Roorda , adoptee, award-winning author, and adoption consultant (including work for NBC’s Emmy Award–winning TV series is Is Us)

As someone who is proud to be called “Aunt Michelle” to a very special adopted young man, I have seen the good, bad, and ugly surrounding adoption. at’s why I love the honesty in this book. Author Alice Murray shares poignant stories from her work as an attorney in the world of adoption, and she wraps each one in hope and love. Readers will not only gain a greater understanding of adoption—both in the natural and spiritually speaking—but also readers will be challenged in their own faith adventures, learning lessons from each entry. is book is beautifully written and heartfelt, and I will be gifting it to many. —Michelle Medlock Adams , New York Times best-selling author, including, Love Connects Us All , which focuses on expanding families through adoption and foster care

Author Alice Murray powerfully weaves the beauty of earthly adoption with the profound truth of our adoption into God’s family. Each reflection draws readers closer to God’s heart, reminding us that we are chosen, loved, and redeemed by His grace. It is a beautiful encouragement for anyone seeking to understand God’s love more deeply through the lens of adoption. — Patti Smith, adoptee, publisher of GO! Christian Magazine

As Alice outlines in the introduction, adoption is near and dear to God’s heart. Children adopted by Christian families who instill their faith in their children are blessed to be adopted twice. I have witnessed this blessing in my own household and in my work as an adoption professional, and I find this book such a true reflection of that blessing. is collection of adoption stories covers the joys, the trials, and the sometimes humor of the adoption process and ties it with biblical principles. Alice’s use of scripture and analytically tying the stories with the same is remarkable and enjoyable. is is such a good read for birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees. — Daniel M. Hartzog Jr., Executive Pastor of Appointed Church; Executive Director and attorney for Heartfelt Adoptions and Surrogacy Services, LLC; adoptive father to two amazing daughters

Birmingham, Alabama

God Adopted Us First

Iron Stream

An imprint of Iron Stream Media

100 Missionary Ridge Birmingham, AL 35242

IronStreamMedia.com

Copyright © 2025 by Alice H. Murray

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Iron Stream Media serves its authors as they express their views, which may not express the views of the publisher.

is book reflects the author’s present recollections of experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. While the author has taken efforts to ensure the accuracy of the content, there may be mistakes in typography or content, since it was written as a true account of the author. Also, this book provides information only up to the publishing date. erefore, it should be used as a guide—not as the ultimate source.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024948940

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com e “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from e Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press

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ISBN: 978-1-56309-781-2 (paperback)

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To a special forever family—my sister Dorothy, her husband, Mike, and their two adopted children—who gave me the opportunity to experience the adoption process as a family member in addition to experiencing it as an adoption professional.

Introduction

Adoption is much like making sausage. Some may not want to hear the real story because it isn’t pretty. In fact, it can be very messy.

e truth? Placing a child for adoption is a heartbreaking decision for most birth mothers. For the few who don’t care, it’s di fficult for adoption professionals to witness that lack of love. e circumstances leading to an unplanned pregnancy are not the stu ff of Hallmark movies. ey may, for example, involve crimes committed against the birth mother. Likewise, adoptive parents su ffer, too, grieving the loss of children through miscarriage, stillbirth, and/or the loss of the opportunity to raise a biological child. But despite its messiness, people need to know the truth because it elevates the understanding of both the pain and love involved in adoptions. Love is adoption’s biggest lesson. Adoption teaches about love for a child (ours or someone else’s), love to show our fellow man (even those who are considered “bad”), and, most especially, the amount of giving love requires.

What Is Adoption?

Today most people think of adoption as merely a legal process. While, yes, courts and laws are involved in creating a family recognized by the law, adoption is also a clear reflection of God’s love

for us. Because of that love, God allowed His Son Jesus to be taken from earthly life via a cruel death on a cross so we could become members of His family. How do I know this? Because the Bible tells me so! Read Galatians 4:4–5 and Ephesians 1:5, which discuss our “adoption” to sonship. ese passages mean every Christian is adopted .

e biblically embraced practice of adoption reminds us of the great sacrifice God made. Jesus gave up His life, but God gave up His Son. Anyone who has seen tears flow down a birth mother’s cheeks, heard the heart-wrenching cries she emits, or observed the pain in her eyes when she lets go of her flesh and blood for the child’s best interest will hold a new appreciation for Father God’s pain. He took on that pain because He loved you and me that much.

Because God is love, Christians are called to love one another. Interestingly, James 1:27 states the purest type of faith involves caring for “orphans.” Even if a parent is still alive, a child might be a virtual orphan due to parental circumstances such abandonment, drug addiction, or incarceration. Adoption provides a means for a child to have a permanent, stable, and loving family.

Adoption Stories in the Bible

Sprinkled throughout the Bible are adoption stories involving various types of adoption. Don’t believe me? Let’s check the Good Book.

Exodus 2 relates that Pharaoh’s daughter adopted Moses after his mother placed him in a basket in the Nile’s bulrushes to give her son a chance at life. In fact, the Egyptian royal gave the baby

the name Moses in reference to her having drawn him out of the water.

God’s plan was for Moses to be adopted and raised in court. How else could Moses acquire the education and leadership skills to lead throngs of Israelites through the wilderness? God used Moses to save His people. is Bible story is an example of an interracial adoption as an Egyptian raised a Hebrew. And since no husband of Pharaoh’s daughter is mentioned, the adoption may have been one by a single parent.

Queen Esther was not only beautiful but also an adoptee. According to Esther 2:7, Esther’s older cousin Mordecai adopted and raised her as his daughter after both of her parents died. God’s plan involved Esther being in the palace and “in” with the king. Her presence in the king’s life and court allowed her to plead on behalf of her people whom Haman plotted to have slaughtered. God used Esther to save the Jewish people. Her story is an example of a relative adoption.

Jesus had no earthly biological father. Joseph, his stepfather, raised Jesus as his own. e people of Nazareth viewed Jesus as “the carpenter’s son” (Matthew 13:55). God uses Jesus to save everyone who accepts the gift of salvation (John 3:16). Jesus’s upbringing is an example of a stepparent adoption.

My Adoption Work Journey

Although I never set out to be, nor even considered being, an adoption attorney, it’s what God wanted me to do. He orchestrated the circumstances for me to have that kind of legal practice, one I’d never have chosen. Not that I rejected an adoption practice, but

the option wasn’t one of which I was even aware when I graduated from law school. But then God placed the opportunity right in my lap.

Over three and a half decades, adoption work in Florida took me on crazy adventures and taught me more about my faith. Trust me, I could not handle adoptions without believing in God. Too many “coincidences” happened and miracles occurred. And God’s constant presence enabled me to handle the challenging circumstances I faced.

My Writing Journey

Seeing the reflection of God’s love in adoption spurred me to write something connecting the dots between that legal process and faith. God taught me numerous faith lessons from my adoption work, and I would be selfish not to share this knowledge and inspiration with others.

Writing about adoption provides me the chance to show the truth about adoption. Aside from love, God is also truth. Most of the time I find that the media, and often the public, portrays adoption inaccurately. Birth mothers who choose adoption for their child are not “giving away their baby.” ey are acting as a mother should, making sure their child is provided for when they cannot do so. Adoption attorneys are not “baby sellers.” at type of practice is illegal, but some will skirt, if not absolutely ignore, the law. ey are the few bad apples.

I invite you to come along with me as I recount forty of my adoption adventures and the faith lessons I learned from them. And no, I did not make up any of these situations nor have I dra-

matized the details. It’s just the facts with names changed or not mentioned to respect the privacy of those involved. Read on to learn the truth about adoption, learn about love, learn more about adoption, and most of all, deepen your faith. Remember, God adopted us first.

Adventure 1

A Mother’s Gift

A teary-eyed pregnant girl occupied a chair across from me on the other side of my desk. My boss sat next to me in my office as we faced the upset young woman. “But what if my child hates me for placing him for adoption?” she sputtered, unsuccessfully attempting to maintain her composure.

“Let me tell you a story,” my boss responded. “I received a call here at the office one day from a young man. e caller started off by saying, ‘You probably don’t remember me, but you handled my adoption eighteen years ago. I’m calling because I wanted to see if you could put me in touch with my birth mother. I want to thank her for what she has done for me.’ ”

In the story, the caller went on to say the previous evening he’d been sitting in his bedroom and thinking about his life. He recognized that it had been a wonderful one. His mother had been a full-time mom, and his father had been involved and even coached some of his sports teams.

“I got a great education and have been awarded a scholarship to the college I’ve always wanted to attend,” he stated.

At this point, the young man noted, he felt like he needed to get up and go thank his parents for what they had done for him. “But

then,” the adoptee explained, “it struck me like a lightning bolt. e person I really needed to thank was my birth mother.”

By now, I was struggling to hold back my tears and maintain a professional composure. e pregnant girl reached for a tissue from the box on the corner of my desk and dabbed her eyes as my boss continued the story.

“I recognized,” said the adoptee, “that eighteen years ago my birth mother sat in a hospital bed with tears in her eyes as she signed the adoption papers. It was hard for her to do, but what she did by signing those papers was to take my life, wrap it up in gift paper, and hand it to me.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks, my boss’s voice broke a little, and the young woman shook as she cried. Except for sni ffles, silence enveloped the room for a short period. Raw emotion hung in the air. is heartrending story answered the pregnant girl’s concerns. What she heard provided her with the courage to move forward with an adoptive placement. Yes, she knew it would be hard. But a wonderful life, one she knew she was in no position to give, was the gift she desired to give the child she carried and loved.

Faith Lesson

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

—Romans 6:23

Who doesn’t like to receive a gift? Usually, we think of gifts as material things placed in a box which is then decorated with attrac -

tive wrapping paper, ribbons or bows, and a card. What fun to tear into it and see what we have been given!

But not all gifts are tangible. Clothing and toys can be placed in a box, but a gift might also be an experience. When I was growing up, I always asked to go to an Atlanta Braves baseball game for my birthday. And boy was I happy when my loving dad gave me that present.

Our heavenly Father also gives good gifts to His children. But we don’t receive them in the mail, and we don’t unwrap them. ey are usually intangible. He gave us the beauty of the world He created for us to live in. He gave us life. He may give us health. But since these gifts aren’t concrete and don’t come in fl ashy packages, we often overlook them and fail to thank Him for them.

e Bible tells us that “every good and perfect gift is from above” (James 1:17). But of all the gifts God’s children receive from Him, one stands head and shoulders above the rest. Like the birth mother who gave her son a wonderful future, God also gives His children a good life to look forward to. While earthly life will end at some point, God has gifted those who receive His Son with eternal life. Now that’s the best gift that could ever be given!

Lesson Learned: Our heavenly Father’s gift to us is eternal life.

Baby Steps to Growing Faith

1. Do you only take note of gifts from God that are tangible, such as an unexpected check received in a time of fi nancial need?

2. List four gifts from God for which you can be thankful.

3. What gift has God given you today ?

4. Why is eternal life a gift from God?

Adventure 2

Make a Joyful Noise

e day began like all days at the office, filled with the usual paper pushing. en the phone rang.

e receptionist informed me a hospital social worker from another county was calling. After grabbing the phone to speak with her, I learned a baby had just been born at that facility. e child’s mother informed the sta ff she wanted to make an adoptive placement. Unfortunately, no adoption plan was in place. So much for a normal day at the office.

With the receipt of this news, it was off to the races. I called the birth mother, who instructed me to simply pick the “best couple” to receive her child. She left the determination of “best” up to our office, a responsibility I took seriously.

While our office kept files on numerous wonderful couples, the challenge was locating an adoptive couple able to take placement of the baby within the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours upon his discharge from the hospital. After reviewing files of prospective adoptive couples, my boss and I agreed on a lovely, childless young couple who were already approved for a placement. Would they be interested and able to receive a baby with little notice?

Given it was the middle of a business day and time was of the essence, I had no choice but to call the prospective adoptive mother at her work. She was a pharmacist, but she dropped everything she was doing to take my call. Informing her about the last-minute opportunity, I told her this placement was theirs if she and her husband wanted to accept it.

e response? A piercing scream followed by weeping. rough tears, the prospective adoptive mother answered in the a ffi rmative. Sheepishly, she then told me her customers and some other employees were looking at her in concern. e emotional woman requested I hold as she conveyed the exciting news to them. Over the phone I heard clapping and cheers from those in the pharmacy. What a joyful noise she and all those present with her made at this life-changing moment.

Faith Lesson

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

—Psalm 100:1 KJV

e word noise typically has a negative connotation. We think of loud music coming from a neighbor’s house or perhaps the sound of construction work in the area. We’d prefer the sound of silence, please.

But when it comes to gifts given to us by others, our silence is offensive. e gift giver wants to know the present offered is pleasing and appreciates hearing words of gratitude. An excited “ ank you!” or “It’s just what I wanted!” warms the giver’s heart.

How many times have we received gifts from our heavenly Father? Aren’t they received daily? We experience another day of life, the love of family, the guiding of the Holy Spirit. But do we make a joyful noise to express how we feel? e Scriptures urge interaction with the Lord, making clear the joy He’s allowed in our lives and our gratitude for it. Go on, make a joyful noise!

Lesson Learned: Expressions of gratitude are a joyful noise God loves to hear.

Baby Steps to Growing Faith

1. How does a verbal expression of gratitude, whether words or sounds (squeals, hand clapping, and so on), make you feel when you give a gift?

2. What does silence on the part of a gift recipient convey to you?

3. How can you make a joyful noise unto the Lord?

4. When should you make a joyful noise unto the Lord?

Adventure 3

Denied

a Baby

Choosing an adoptive placement for her child isn’t the end of the birth mother’s decision-making. Many more issues must be settled. Does she want to see the baby following birth? Does she want to name the child? Does she want the prospective adoptive couple to be at the hospital for the birth? Wait. Who will be adopting her child? at question is her biggest decision to make after selecting the adoption option.

What do birth mothers want in a couple? e specifications vary widely depending on the desires of each woman, who is, in the end, a unique individual. Common requests include that the couple be nonsmokers, have a pet, or be a ffi liated with a specific religion or denomination.

One birth mother quickly responded to my query as to what she desired for potential adoptive parents. She requested a particular Christian denomination. Such an a ffi liation was a firm requirement, not simply that she’d like them to be that denomination if possible. e denomination was not one of the most common, so a certain couple immediately came to mind. ey had listed this denomination as their religious a ffi liation on the intake form. is husband and wife were in their early forties, secure in their careers, and impressed me during our first meeting. eir desire to adopt was a

strong one. Given their age, they realized time was a factor for them to receive a placement before they got “too old” to parent a newborn.

I called the wife and explained the basic details of the birth mother’s situation. en I mentioned what she wanted in a family. A long pause followed. Finally, the wife spoke in a voice she was clearly trying to keep under control.

“You know how much we want to adopt a baby,” she began. “But I have to tell you the truth. In the past few months, my husband and I began attending a di fferent church denomination of which we are now members. It is not that denomination. While it would be easy to say we are members of the denomination the birth mother desires, that would not be the truth. I must be honest and pass on this opportunity.”

Her response left me speechless. Despite the opportunity to receive her heart’s desire, this woman denied herself that chance by putting her faith into practice and not lying. She did the right thing, but surely her heart was breaking. She displayed integrity and lived out her beliefs, but her arms were left achingly empty.

How many people in the same position would have made this choice? I still reflect on her decision to this day.

Faith Lesson

en he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”

—Luke 9:23

Anyone who believes a Christian’s faith walk is all wine and roses is sadly mistaken. Accepting Jesus as our Savior does not mean

life becomes a cakewalk. In fact, the opposite is true. e Christian life is an ongoing di fficult journey.

Jesus provided truth in advertising. He transparently told His listeners what following Him entailed. Being His disciple would require much of someone, and it would be a struggle.

Specifically, Jesus noted that self-denial is part of being a Christian. We can’t have all the things we want. Why? Because some desires are sinful and at odds with the essence of being a Christian. Being self-indulgent by giving in to sexual temptation or material wants puts us on the throne rather than God. Other desires might require us to commit a sin, such as lying or stealing, to obtain what we want.

Self-denial isn’t a onetime thing either. It is a daily practice according to Jesus, and it won’t be easy. e extent of self-denial’s di fficulty is conveyed by His comment that we must take up our cross. Historians estimate a typical Roman cross likely weighed over three hundred pounds.1 Now that’s heavy!

While we may not literally have to carry a heavy cross in our faith walk, we will face heavy burdens. As this honest prospective adoptive mother illustrated, sometimes the burden is a heavy heart.

Lesson Learned: Following Jesus requires denial of self.

Baby Steps to Growing Faith

1. Identify a time in your own faith life when self-denial was the appropriate action.

1 “What Is the Weight of the Cross at Jesus Carried?” Biblword, March 14, 2022, https://www.biblword.net/what-is-the-weight-of-the-cross-that -jesus-carried/.

2. If you don’t deny yourself in the face of temptation, who is #1 in your life at that point?

3. Why did Jesus say His disciples must daily take up their crosses?

4. How do you respond to an unbeliever who rejects Christianity because living out the faith would require self-denial?