other one who were the students at the wedding ceremony. I was with them when Nabule threw me out, it made me so ashamed and now I’m going to meet them again. But this black-and-gold scarf of mine does not seem right to him. Apparently I look like an undertaker in it, and he wants me to find something in light colours. Mrs Kralec, you have a silk one…’ But before she could finish the caretaker had already put down her sewing and was dashing to the wardrobe. ‘Heavens above,’ she exclaimed, ‘there are things would make the heavenly powers turn in their graves if they had them. Your Nabule threw you out of her wedding reception and then Wezr comes out of jail and invites you to celebrate. But it always seemed to me…’ the caretaker went on as she pulled a scarf of some kind out of the wardrobe, ‘it always seemed to me that Wezr was a better person than she, I didn’t want to say too much about it to you but now I’m going to. If it was the other way round and your Nabule was coming back from jail, she’d never dream of inviting you, not a bitch like her. Look, here it is, take it,’ said the caretaker as she gave Mrs Mooshaber a pretty white scarf. ‘Listen here, Mrs Mooshaber,’ the caretaker went on speaking rapidly while she fastened her dressing-gown around her, ‘where exactly is it you’re going? Rit-something, Riz-something? Heavens above,’ she suddenly cried out, ‘you don’t mean the Ritz, do you?’ ‘That’s it, the Ritz,’ agreed Mrs Mooshaber with a nod, ‘Yes, the Ritz, that’s what he called the place. What exactly is this “Ritz”? A student dive of some kind?’ ‘Student dive!’ The caretaker was in such stitches that it was a wonder she could stay upright, ‘it’s a hotel. To be 98
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precise,’ she went on, throwing her hands into the air as she spoke, ‘it’s the swankiest hotel in the city. It’s in the Stadium district. When some government delegation arrives to see Prime Minister Rappelschlund, that’s where it’s put up. Rappelschlund arranges banquets there for distinguished visitors that he doesn’t want to have in the royal palace. It has a first-class restaurant frequented only by society’s crème de la crème. Professors, engineers and rich business types. Military officers, councillors, gentlemen of the royal chamber. You know what I mean. Rich students too, for sure, can be found there, born with silver spoons in their mouths. You’ll be eating from silver plates there.’ ‘Eating from silver plates?’ exclaimed Mrs Mooshaber as she sat down in a chair. ‘Good God, do you think that means they have things like ham, Italian salad and lemonade…’ The list made the caretaker laugh and wave her hands about all the more. ‘Ham and salad, I ask you!’ she went on, continuing with the cackles and the semaphore, ‘pheasant and oysters more like. Escallops and squish. So hurry up and wrap that scarf around you so I can see if it suits you. Mrs Mooshaber quickly wrapped the scarf around her neck and said: ‘I must just say one thing to you, Madam Caretaker. Imagine that Wezr had left some money on the table for me. I don’t even want to tell you how much or what I could buy with it. He gave me a couple of hares as well, they’re in the window and I need to cook them in seaweed. And hanging beside the cupboard there’s an umbrella with a beautiful handle, but I don’t suppose that’s for me, at least he didn’t mention anything to that effect. And he said something to me besides. He said that when I was going to a restaurant 99
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like the one he was taking me to, and God knows who might be there, I should do a little to make myself up. Add a few touches here and there, that’s probably what he meant,’ Mrs Mooshaber continued with a laugh, ‘I’ve never so much as touched make-up, not when I was young, not even when I was getting married. But what do you think, seeing that the students and God knows who else are going to be there… Wezr said that you know best about these things.’ ‘Well if he thinks so,’ the caretaker blurted out, her cheeks burning bright red, ‘then for sure, that’s how it must be. And if you know that, then do as I tell you. The Ritz is where the real ladies go, so I’ll give you some rouge.’ The caretaker ran off and hurried back with the rouge which she applied to Mrs Mooshaber by the window. Then with a sudden ‘Just a jiffy’ she got hold of a black pencil and gave Mrs Mooshaber some eyebrow treatment. Then with yet another ‘Just a jiffy’ she took some ointment and gave Mrs Mooshaber rosy cheeks. And then to top it all she added a dusting of white powder. ‘God in Heaven!’ exclaimed Mrs Mooshaber as she stood in front of the mirror unable to believe her own eyes. What she saw took her breath away and made her head spin. ‘I’d never have believed it. You know, Mrs Kralec, this is a day when I had so much work to do. I wanted to wash the banner and a bit later - with evening coming on - I have to go to the fountain in the park.’ ‘Wash the banner and go to the fountain.’ The caretaker spat the words out and her cheeks burned bright red. ‘I ask you, how can you think of such a thing when you have the Ritz to go to? What complete and utter nonsense. And one more thing,’ the caretaker exclaimed with her cheeks 100
Ukázka elektronické knihy, UID: KOS201758