Hope - Cancer Publication by Karmanos, Spring 2017

A PUBLICATION OF THE BARBARA ANN KARMANOS CANCER INSTITUTE

SPRING 2017

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WHEN CANCER IS THE DIAGNOSIS How to talk to someone with cancer

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ometimes, it’s not easy to know what to say to a loved one or friend who has cancer. Even when you want to be supportive, fear of saying the wrong thing can lead to saying nothing. “People who aren’t sure of what to say or how to express themselves to a friend or family member with cancer might stop calling or visiting that person,” says Andrea Cherry, LMSW, social worker at the Karmanos Cancer Institute at McLaren Northern Michigan. “Don’t let fear get in the way. It’s better to be present and offer support.” Cherry offers these tips:

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• Listen without judgement. Listening can be much more helpful than talking. Don’t ignore uncomfortable topics or emotions. Acknowledge your loved one’s feelings and say you’re right there with him or her.

• Offer to help. Instead of saying “call me if you need anything,” offer to help with a specific task. Walking the dog, cooking a meal or running errands can help reduce stress for your loved one.

• Don’t focus solely on cancer. Patients sometimes need a break from talking about their cancer treatments. Remember, they still enjoy certain interests and activities. Treat him or her the same as you always have.

•D on’t second-guess or offer unsolicited advice: It’s easy to give advice, but it can create more stress if it’s inaccurate. Remember that each patient’s case is different, and it’s important to support your loved one’s treatment decisions. “When in doubt about what to say, the most important thing you can do is be present and listen,” Cherry adds. “Just being there shows that you care. Oftentimes, the little things can mean the most.”

CONTACT US For more information about a cancer diagnosis or treatment, call 1-800-KARMANOS (1-800-527-6266) or visit karmanos.org.