Vol. LXVI No. 35 Omaha, Nebr.
30 Niaan, 5749 Friday, May S, 1980
Jewish mothers feel they are not honored By Ben Gallob (Copfright ISS9. Jeuiuh Telegmphic Agrac\. iac.t
NEW YORK - Jewish mothers accused of playing martyrs are often just making a justified and misunderstood plea for appreciation and recognition that mothers rarely get, according to a Jewish psychologist-feminist, and furthermore, "the failure to honor mothers is a part of Judaism's more general failure to honor women." That view was expressed by Paula Caplan, professor of applied psychology at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, in an article in the January-February issue of Reconstructionist magazine. The article was based on a dayar Torah, a Shabbat comment frpm the bimah, that Caplan delivered at her Toronto Reconstructionist congregation, Darchei Noam. She recalled that as a child, her grandmother used to work herself to the point of exhaustion, "to feed us royally" on Rosh Hashanah and Passover, so that "the menfolk" could pray. "We enjoyed her food," Caplan recounted, but "we did not particularly honor her. It is praying and doing paid work that tends to be honored in America, not mothering work." She said that "the incredible value of what mothers do" in providing nourishing food, a pleasant environment and taking care of members of their families "is swiftly dismissed. And North American Jews are as guilty of this as others."
Women in Jewish tradition, Caplan noted, have been valued only as bearers of children—"a role that is not honored but simply expected." J'^ws in all walks of life often look to mental health professionals, among whom Jews predominate, "as they used to look to Torah and the rabbis," Caplan said. However, she added, "that secular arena is just as riddled with antiwomen (and anti-mother) sentiments as traditional Judaism." As evidence, she reported working with a student assistant on a project examining 125 articles from a variety of mental health journals. Professionals offered explanations, in those articles, for people's einotional problems. She and the student assistant found that mothers "were blamed for 72 different kinds of problems. These ranged from arson to the inability to deal with color blindness, to homicidal transsexualism, to something called 'selfinduced televisionepilepsy' in which a child apparently brings on his seizures by watching TV." She said it did not matter whether the authors of these anti-mother judgments were psychoanalysts, family therapists or other types of mental health workers. "Sadly, the motherblaming has not lessened with time and the influence of the women's movement." Referring again to the Fifth Commandment, Caplan aiisert«d that Jews
of both sexes "need to honor our mothers as well as our fathers." When Jews fail to honor women, Caplan said, they fail to honor mothers, and in failing to honor mothers, they fail to honor all women. She warned that men who cannot honor their mothers "will have trouble genuinely honoring the women they hope to love and the daughters they hope to have." Despite the continuing mother-bashing, she declared, "there is hope. The light slowly begins to shine in the mental health professions." Some women professionals, she reported, have cast a fresh light on mothers' "alleged emotional dependency and inability to separate from their children." These professionals contend that such motherly behavior should be seen as based on "love of, and considerable skill at, being in relationships" with members of their families. She said she has often declared that when such women say "Look at what I've sacrificed for you," it is often "a justified plea for the appreciation and recognition that mothers so rarely receive, except on Mother's Day."
See Mother's Day Gift Guide Pages 7-14.
Self-portrait in bronze Sculptor Annette Fettman with • Mlf-porUalt in bronM. See page 16.
Passage to Freedom Miriam Simon (left) and Leonard and Shirley Goldblein, are co-chairmen uf Passage to Freedom, a one-month fund raising program to help retiettle Soviet Jews. Sec editorial on page 4.
Dr. Lamdan to speak at Israel Bonds dinner
Yosef Lamdan Dr. Yosef N. Lamdan, minister-counselor at the Embassy of the State of Is rael in Wa.shington, D.C., With the responsibility for Congressional Affairs, will speak at the Israel Bonds Ic&iner honoring Ike Friedman, to be held at Peony Park Plaza Theater on May 7, 'I'he unnouniemeut was iiiaiie by Donald A Yale, lijiiiii'i chairman, along with cii-c)iairmun Tom Fellman, Richard Katzman, Aluii Parsow and the State Chair man. Murray H. Newman. Before arriving in Wash ington. Dr. Lamdan was the director of the Egyptian Division in the Israeli Ministry for Foreign Affairs in Jerusalem, and was personally involved in the negotiation of the "Normalization Agreements" with Egypt. Dr. Lamdan served as political rwin—lor at the Permanent Mission of Israel to the United Nations in New York and, in the summer of 1982, he was one of the first Israeli diplomats to serve in Beirut. Born in Scotland, Dr. Lamdan received hia Whelor of arts (itgree.in Glasgow and his doctorate in Middle Eastern politics
from Oxford University in England. In 1967, he emigrated to Israel and haf been a member of the Israel Foreign Service since 1973. Since the Israel Bond organization was founded in 1951. total sales have passed the $9.5 billion mark. These loan funds help build Israeli's roads, railways and power stations, and developed its National Water Carrier, ports, refineries, industrial parks and sciencebased industries. Reservations for the May 7 dinner may be made by calUng the Israel Bonds office, 34M177.
Rachael Rennard wins a bronze Hachael Heimard. a senior at Central High School, was awarded a bronze medal at the national academic decathlon in Providence, R.I.. over the weekend. The Central team, coached by Marlene Bernstein, placed third in the nation behind California and Texas in the 41-team competition. Rachael, daughter of Dr. and Mrs. Stephen Rennard, one of nine students on the Central team, earned her medal in fine arts. Final scores were listed as Cahfornia, 46,000; Texas, 43,150, and Nebraska, 42,980.
B'nai B'rith announces athlete of year recipient Scott Breaiu, a senior at Millard South High school, will be honored usi the metropolitan area High School Athlete of the Year and will be presented with the Bert Render Award al the May 10 B'nai B'rith Charity Sports Stag. According to Larry GoldStrom. Bream was chosen to receive the award by a vote of over 60 area athletic coaches and media personalities. ^ Bream, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Al Bream, has been
Listed in national publica tioos us ope of the top high school ba.seball players in the country, 1 Ic has playe guard on two straight state' chaiupion.ship busltelball Loams and made sjecondlearn all-stale at qy^terback. H*> >s hn noiKfr-roU student. I Howard Borden, stai chairman, said tickets for the event are $7U each and can be purchased by calling Ira Trachtenbarg, 342-2806. or the B'nai B'rith office 334-8200.
Shul dedicated By GU SwUui JERUSALEM (JTA) On the eve of Yom Haahoah, Holocauat Memorial Day, a new synagogue wjts inaugurated in M^'iueh Adumim. jus(i outside Jerusalem, that was built with the contributions of hundreds of German Christiana as a token comwuMtinn for the araoo of nundrada off synagogues on Kristallnacht 50 years ago.
The new synagogue, Mitzpe Nevo. waa built at the initiative of the Intamalional Christian Embaasy in Jerusalem. A spokesman for the embassy said that Israel's Chriatiaft. (riaads throughout the world wish to demonatrata their participation of the renaisHance of religious and aodal activitiea in Israel through this synagogue.
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