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CREATE A JEWISH HOME

HELPING PARENTS

VOLUME ONE, NUMBER THIRTEEN

AGES 4 1/2

T O

5 YEARS

Words that Hurt, Words that Heal

nquestionably, While we often children’s think of Judaism as a behavior can be series of rituals— frustrating and sometimes lighting Shabbat enraging. It is easy for an candles, celebrating overworked, anxiety-ridden holidays, going to parent to focus on a child’s synagogue—a large part of inconsiderate, disobedient, being Jewish is how we act TIPS FOR disrespectful actions. If we or with other people every day. TALKING find ourselves doing this, in There is a Talmudic addition to inflicting tradition that the word TO YOUR emotional harm on our child, “ shalom,” which can be we also are violating the CHILD interpreted as “hello,” is important ethical norm of one of the names of God. page 8 hakarat hatov, “recognition of Just by saying hello, we the good [another has done evoke God’s presence. you].” For while the tantrums Ethical interpersonal behavior is at and self-absorption of young the heart of Jewish life. children truly can infuriate or An important component of daily unnerve us, it is not reasonable to life is how we speak to each other. judge them by adult behavioral Throughout the years, Jewish teachers standards. We should also realize and writers have thought deeply that acts of disobedience rarely tell about the impact of our words on the whole story. As one child psyothers. As parents, we spend a huge chologist wisely advises: “Remind amount of time and energy trying to yourself that your child performs teach our children how to behave. thousands of acts of self-discipline …which you do not notice. There Children need help in learning how to are thousands of times when he did frame words so they help and not come when you called, did eat the harm—and so do we, in choosing the food he may not have wanted words we use to help teach our because you wanted him to, did children. In this excerpt from Words give up some pleasurable activity to that Hurt, Words that Heal, Rabbi do your bidding even though it was Joseph Telushkin offers insights into painful for him at the time, did not this tricky issue.

A PUBLICATION

bother you when you were busy,

THE

and did not fight or argue with you or his siblings.” “Of course,” we think. How many parents have ever looked into the face of a child asleep in a crib or bed, and wanted to do anything but help, protect, and cherish him or her? Yet, no honest parent can say that he or she has never had an outburst of unchecked anger or never made a demeaning or insensitive remark to a child. What’s more, most of us carry at least a few scars inflicted by the words of our parents…. The enormous attention focused in recent years on the physical and sexual abuse of children is deserved, but fortunately children who suffer such abuse are still a distinct minority. However, the victims of verbal abuse are far more numerous. Yet, because this

(C O N T I N U E D O N P A G E 2)

WHAT’S INSIDE Compassion for Animals: It’s a Mitzvah page 3 Bringing Israel Home pages 4-5 Developmental Timeline page 6 Solomon and the Baby Bee by Shari Lewis page 7 Tips for Talking to Your Child page 8

ROBERT E. LOUP JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER

Words that Hurt, Words that Heal (CON T I N U E D F ROM P AGE 1)

correct him when wrong, but when he had behaved, I hadn’t noticed. I had put him to bed without a word of praise.” This common parental formula of “heavy on the criticism and light on the praise” causes children to go through life feeling inadequate as human beings and unworthy of being loved. Psychologist Haim Ginott advises mothers and fathers: “If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.” Parents have an obligation to ensure that all their children feel equally loved and appreciated (even if, in the privacy of their bedroom, they may express preferences for one child over another). When they do not convey a feeling of love and appreciation, the damage they inflict is often lifelong. For with what greater disadvantage can a child go out into the world than with the feeling that even her own mother and father don’t really love her. In addition, comparing children undermines family unity. Instead of making them feel that they are part of one united family (“one for all, and all for one”), children come to see themselves as competitors for a finite amount of parental love and approval. This type of competition rarely brings out the best in anyone, and increases the likelihood that such children will not be close to each other when they grow up…. Wise parents are guided by the Talmud’s advice: “Who is wise? One who foresees the future consequences of his/her actions”—and bears in mind the tremendous power words can hold over children’s lives.

form of parental cruelty is rarely viewed as a serious matter, it’s seldom discussed. This is unfortunate, since the victims often carry its scars to their graves. I am not suggesting that parents must speak only kind and supportive words to their children, even when they act badly. They definitely have an obligation to teach their children right from wrong, and to criticize them when they misbehave. In Hebrew the word for parent (horeh) comes from the same root as that for teacher (moreh), an etymological suggestion that the parents’ primary role is to teach. Indeed, parents who don’t know how to teach and when to criticize run the risk of raising moral monsters…. A European scholar, Johann Paul Friedrich, wrote two centuries ago: “If a child tells a lie, tell him that he has told a lie, but don’t call him a liar. If you define him as a liar, you break down his confidence in his own character.” By restricting

criticism to a specific bad act, a parent is unlikely to damage a child’s self-image. Admittedly, finding the golden mean between being critical but not overly uncritical is difficult, but the alternative choice of many parents—vacillating between broad and destructive deprecatory comments, and tolerating behavior that shouldn’t be tolerated—is far worse…. Parents commonly err not only in criticizing harshly, but also in forgetting to praise (this applies, by the way, even if your children are well into middle age). In Signs of the Times, the religious writer Gottfried von Kronenberger relates an incident about a young mother who confessed to her pastor: “My little boy often misbehaves, and I have to scold him. But one day he had been especially good. That night, after I tucked him in bed and started downstairs, I heard him crying. I found his head buried in the pillow. Between sobs he asked, ‘Mommy, haven’t I been a pretty good boy today?’ “That question went through me like a knife,” the mother told her pastor. “I had been quick to

Lashon Ha-Ra: When the Truth Hurts

s a rule, most people seem to think there is nothing morally wrong in spreading negative information about others as long as the information is true. Jewish law takes a very different point of view. Perhaps that is why the Hebrew term lashon ha-ra (“bad language” or “bad tongue”) has no precise equivalent in English. For unlike slander, which is universally condemned as immoral because it is false, lashon ha-ra is by definition true. It is the dissemination of accurate information that will lower the status of the person to whom it refers. I translate it as “negative truths.” Jewish law forbids

spreading negative truths about anyone unless the person to whom you are speaking needs the information. It is a very serious offense, one that has been addressed by many non-Jewish ethicists as well. Two centuries ago, Jonathan K. Lavater, a Swiss theologian and poet, offered a still-apt guideline concerning the spreading of such news: “Never tell evil of a man if you do not know it for a certainty, and if you know it for a certainty, then ask yourself, ‘Why should I tell it?’” —Joseph Telushkin, from Words That Hurt, Words That Heal

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MIDRASH

Tza’ar Ba’alei Chayim HELPING YOUR CHILD DEVELOP A CONCERN FOR ANIMALS

• Involve your children in the care of their pets. Even young children can be responsible (with supervision) for providing food and water for pets, and taking them for walks. This activity helps create a sense of responsibility that helps children appreciate their pets more. • Explain how to treat pets. Often, young children need coaching in not harassing their pets. Remind them that jumping on a pet, pulling him, and treating him roughly can hurt. • Explain the difference between wild animals and pets, and that wild animals are not pets and should be left alone. • Point out, and have your children point out, times when they see animals treated kindly or unkindly. • Ask a local animal shelter if you can help conduct a food drive for the animals kept there. Often, these non-profit institutions need help providing food to the animals they keep. • If you’re choosing a new pet, get it from the pound. There are plenty of wonderful dogs and cats there who if not adopted will be destroyed. • If you have a dog or cat, make sure to get it neutered or spayed.

hildren have a natural affinity for animals. It’s clear in the way they run to a puppy; it’s one reason so many kids’ books center on animals. This love fits into an important mitzvah or commandment of Judaism, tza’ar ba’alei chayim, or compassion for animals. Through this commandment, you can teach compassion in a wider sense—a child who is taught concern for animals is also learning the concept of caring for those who are defenseless and those who need the protection and concern of others. The laws of kashrut have as their basis some of these injunctions against the suffering of animals—the slaughter of animals must be humane, for example. There are also numerous stories of the importance of kind treatment to animals throughout Jewish literature. God made David king because of his tender care of his flock of sheep—he let the ewes have first chance at the greenery before he let the other sheep out to eat. This tradition of care has been continued by generations of Jews. The first humane society, founded in Britain in the 1800s, was begun by a Jew, Lewis Gompertz. You can help foster this sense of concern with these activities:

Animals in the Bible

an you guess how many times each of these animals is named in the Bible? Rank them from 1 to 10, and guess how many times each is mentioned. (Answers are on page 7.) Other odd facts about biblical animals: the dog is mentioned 40 times, and the cat none; the weasel, chameleon and tortoise are named as unclean animals in Leviticus.

____HORSE

____LION

____BULLOCK

____LAMB

____CAMEL

____OX

____GOAT

____RAM

____SHEEP

____DONKEY

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avid, before he was king, was sitting on the roof of his house one day watching a wasp eat a spider. “What good are these two creatures?” he asked God. “The wasp only spoils the nectar of flowers, while the spider spins and spins, but makes no fabric.” God replied to David, “Don’t belittle my creatures. The time will come that you will have need of them.” Later, when David was fleeing from King Saul, he found a hiding place in a cave. God sent a spider to spin a web across the entrance, which sealed it. When Saul came and saw the web, he said, “No one has been here; if they had been, this web would be in shreds.” And he turned away. When David left the cave, he kissed the spider, saying, “Blessed is your Creator, and blessed are you.” At that moment, David prayed to God, “Master of the Universe, who can imitate Your works, Your mighty acts! All Your works are beautiful!” — Alphabet of Ben Sira and Psalms 22:2

Israel…

One Man’s Crusade: the Revival of Hebrew t’s an amazing story, the story of the national language of Israel. For generations, Hebrew had existed only in books, prayer, and the scholarly discussion of rabbis. In the late 19th century, Lithuanian-born Eliezer BenYehuda moved to Palestine and began a campaign to revive Jewish culture. A central tenet of that was reviving Hebrew as a living language. Ben Yehuda invented 4000 words using biblical Hebrew to meet the needs of contemporary life. The campaign succeeded. In 1948, when Israel was declared a nation, its official language was declared to be Hebrew. It is the only known example of a “dead” language being brought back to daily use.

srael is the heart of the Jewish the “other,” in part because they world. It is a country, an idea, a felt they had no place that was haven, a miracle. Why is this theirs, Israel is a refuge. No wonder small country—about the size of its existence has been fiercely New Jersey—of such great interest guarded, its battles taken up as the to American Jews, most of whom battles of people thousands of miles have never lived there, and have away, and its needs funded and generations of history in this supported generously by people country? The answers are rooted in who have never been there. the history and in the religion of Besides the longing for a home, the Jewish people. a place where Judaism could be The intense practiced without feelings that many pogroms and discrimiJews have about Israel nation, there are other are centered in the ancient reasons for the understanding that this fierce devotion Jews tiny country is feel for Israel. Rabbinic POPULATION SIZE: promised by God as the tradition says that 5.4 million Jewish homeland, after many of the commandPOPULATION MAKEUP: 2000 years of disposments are meant specif17% are Arab, 82% are session. That sense of ically for those who live Jewish; of these, 50% being homeless has in Israel; those who live are native-born, or shaped the Jewish elsewhere follow the Sabras (the name experience. The commandments comes from the fruit of Passover phrase “Next primarily so they will the cactus plant). Jews year in Jerusalem,” has not forget how to do in Israel come from been repeated by them correctly when more than 100 countless generations they return to the land countries and speak 85 of Jews. of Israel. There is even languages. While the reality of a Talmudic law that Israel has hardly been a says a person can CLIMATE: dreamlike return to the demand his or her generally subtropical land of milk and spouse move to Israel— MOST VALUABLE honey, it has been a if the spouse objects, EXPORTS: home. For a group of that is cause for diamonds, citrus fruits, people who have hisdivorce. In the words of clothing and textiles torically often felt like another Talmudic sage, 4 ▼

Snapshot of Israel

…the Land of Milk and Honey plan a return to Palestine, as it was referred to then. They bought land, and began forming settlements. In 1917, England supported the idea of a Jewish homeland through the Balfour Declaration, and five years later the young League of Nations agreed to form a Jewish state. The plan was controversial; the Arabs there declared themselves bitterly opposed to anything that would take what they considered Arab lands. That is at the heart of the disputes and wars that have colored Israel’s history since. The Second World War and the Holocaust marked a turning point in Jewish history, and shifted world opinion in favor of a Jewish state in Palestine. The survivors fled to the Jewish settlements there as the mass killings shocked the world’s conscience. There was a sense that after the killing of millions of Jews, the least the world could do was grant Jews a state. In 1948, Israel became an independent Jewish country. In 1950, Israel passed the Law of Return—according to this, any Jew, anywhere in the world, has the right to immigrate to Israel and become a citizen. It is hard to underestimate the importance of this law to a people who had been persecuted since, essentially, the second exile in 70 C.E. Of course, that was not the end of it. Since then, wars have marred Israel’s stunningly successful attempts to create a garden in the desert. Peace is still elusive. But the millions of Jews who now live in Israel will solve that problem as they have solved the others. Having a homeland is too important to the Jewish people to let anything stand in the way.

B.C.E. and C.E. • When Jews use the secular calendar, they prefer to use the initials B.C.E. for “Before the Common Era,” and C.E., or “Common Era,” rather than tying dates to the birth of Jesus. The christological term A.D. means “anno domini”—in the year of our Lord.

“Whoever lives in the land of Israel is as if he worshipped God, while one who lives outside it is as if he worshipped idolatry.” Jews have lived in Canaan, as the area was then called, since perhaps the 18th century B.C.E. Fighting for control of the land was a fact of life for centuries, but the Israelites hung on and prospered. The first big blow came in 721 B.C.E., when the Assyrians destroyed the Northern Kingdom of Israel. Then, in 586 B.C.E., Babylonia conquered the Southern Kingdom, destroyed Jerusalem and the Holy Temple, and exiled the vast majority of the Jews there. That was the first exile. When they were allowed to return in 538 B.C.E., Jews rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem. The Temple was later rebuilt. It is the remains of the retaining walls surrounding the foundation of this second Temple that Jews still revere today. This is the Kotel, the Western Wall. Babylonian rule gave way to Persian rule, then to Greek; finally the Romans came to control Palestine. In 66 C.E., the Jews had finally had enough of Roman dominance. They put together an army, attacked—and lost. In 70 C.E., the Romans destroyed the Temple in Jerusalem, burned the rest of the city, and sent the Jews away to slavery. Jews scattered throughout the world. Whenever they gathered, they planned for the return of their homeland. And in the land of Israel, a small group of Jews remained throughout the next seventeen centuries. The Zionist movement began gathering steam in the late 19th century. European Jews tired of dealing with the endless discrimination against Jews began a group to

And Now a Few Words...

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✡ ✡ ✡

Aliyah • The term literally means “going up.” It refers to the return of Jews to Israel to live, and also to being called up to bless or read the Torah.

✡ ✡ ✡

Diaspora • The word is Greek and means dispersion; it has come to mean the scattering of the Jews around the world after they were driven into exile in 586 B.C.E. and 70 C.E. In the Bible, the Hebrew term galut means exile and refers to the Jewish exile in Babylon in 586 B.C.E.. Galut later came to mean the state of exile the Jews faced after the Temple destruction in 70 C.E.

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Israel • The name Israel was given to Jacob by an angel. The two battled all night, and the angel asked to be released at daybreak. Jacob agreed—if the angel would bless him. The angel did, and renamed him Israel. Jacob’s 12 sons were called the Children of Israel, or Israelites.

✡ ✡ ✡ Zionism • The place name Zion refers to the western hill south of the walls of the old city of Jerusalem where David is said to be buried; it came to serve as a name for the whole of Jerusalem. The Jews who came to Jerusalem hoping to establish a Jewish state there likely took the name Zionists for the connection of the name to the idealized David and the golden empire over which he ruled.

TIMELINE 4 1/2 TO 5 YEARS: WHAT YOUR CHILD DOES Social Development • Will be able to create a more realistic plan about how to achieve goals

Bringing Israel Home

here are many ways to make the land of Israel seem more real to people—particularly children—who have never been there. Here are some ideas, from the simple to the sublime.

• Develops friendships

Make Israeli Food, or Visit an Israeli Restaurant • These are the foods of the Bible—dates, olives, figs. Try some with your family. You can also buy an Israeli cookbook and do a cooking project with the kids, perhaps for Shabbat dinner.

• Truly understands sharing and is apt to do it more often Intellectual Development

• Develops more abstract understanding

• Becomes less self-centered; understands that the world does not always revolve around him

• May learn that certain times on the clock represent events—e.g. when it is dinnertime, the little hand on the clock points to 6 Physical Development

Watch Sha lom Sesa me • This series of videos, produced by the Sesame Street folks, is an excellent introduction to Israel for children. Watch it with your children—you’ll probably learn some facts, and be able to offer additional explanations for your child.

• Has a good sense of balance

• May be able to hop 8 to 10 steps on one foot • May learn to tie her shoes

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Put Up a Map • Get a suitable-for-framing map, frame it, and put it up in a conspicuous location. When you want to explain something that’s going on in Israel, you have the visual aid right there. Your children will grow up with the reminder that Israel is an important place.

Social Development

• Help her set realistic goals and then reach them • Allow your child the chance to spend time with children who will become his friends

• Praise her for sharing with friends, siblings, and classmates Intellectual Development

• Show your child how symbols can stand for ideas, as in a stop sign • Explain causes and effects in the world

• Show your child what the clock looks like at certain set times, such as dinner time Physical Development •

Play balancing games like staying on the line

• Play hopping games and “Simon Says”

Buy Israel • One painless way to support Israel is to go out of your way to buy products that come from Israel. Kosher wines, sweets, citrus fruits, records, books—they’re all available. Every dollar you spend helps insure the survival of Israel. Sing Israeli Songs, Listen to Israeli Music • There is a vast array of recordings and books from Israel that reinforce the idea of a culture that is fun and distinctly Israeli.

• Teach her to tie her shoes

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Learn Israeli Folk Dancing • Your local Jewish Community Center will probably know where you can go to learn and practice Israeli folk dancing. It’s fun, good exercise, and a great connection to Israel.

Tune in Your Shortwave or Cruise the Internet to Israel • There are many ways to find out more—two are the Voice of Israel broadcasts on shortwave and the areas of the Internet that deal with Israel. You might want to try this web site: www.tali.com/Israel/ tips.htm.

Plan a Trip to Israel • This is the big one, and the one you might want to start planning for now. This can be the kind of project that is years in the making, but it is a trip you will never forget. For many Jews, being in a place where Judaism is dominant, where Hebrew is spoken as a way of life, where holidays are marked by the Jewish and not the Christian calendar, is a transformative experience. Begin now to collect travel books, think about itineraries, engage your older children in thinking about what they would like to see, and what they think it will be like. It’s a family adventure that can be planned over several years.

One-Minute Bible Stories from Shari Lewis

Resources FOR PARENTS

Books…

Solomon and the Baby Bee

40 T hi ngs Y ou Can Do to Sa ve the J ewi sh P eople by Joel Lurie Grishaver. Los Angeles: Alef Design Group, 1993. Some really practical ideas for parents who want to raise Jewish kids.

ne sunny day, as King Solomon slept under a big fig tree, a tiny bee bit him smack on the end of his nose. Solomon awoke in pain, his nose swelling and reddening like a ripe plum. “How could you do this? Aren’t you afraid of the anger of the king?” The bee stammered, “I’m just a baby bee, and I haven’t learned the difference between a nose and a flower. Your nose smelled like a flower and was as pretty as an apple. I thought I’d take a taste. Do me a favor. Forgive me. Someday I’ll do you a favor too!” The king laughed at the idea that he might need the help of a tiny insect, and the baby bee flew away. Years later, the Queen of Sheba brought gifts to Solomon, and riddles to test his wisdom. She spread lots of flowers on the ground, saying, “Most of these were made by skilled craftsmen. Only one flower is real. Which one is it?” Solomon was stumped. They all looked alike. But when a tiny bee landed on one of the blossoms, he pointed and said, “That’s the live flower!” And that was when Solomon learned that even the mightiest of kings can be helped by the tiniest of bees. Solomon added to his book of proverbs: “Who so despiseth any of God’s creatures shall suffer thereby.”

T o Ra i se a J ewi sh Chi ld: A Gui de for P a r ents by Hayim Halevy Donin. New York: Basic Books, 1977. Classic parenting book for developing identity, transmitting values, selecting schools, etc. Includes resources and wisdom from the sages.

And for children…

Y ettele’s F ea ther s by Joan Rothenberg. New York: Hyperion Books for Children, 1995. A humorous folk tale about lashon ha-ra in which Yettele, who loves to gossip, is finally taught a lesson by the rabbi.

Chicken Man by Michelle Edwards. New York: Lothrop, Lee & Shepard, 1991. Lively humorous tale of how each time Chicken Man is moved into a new job on the kibbutz, someone else wants to take that job instead, and the chickens suffer as a consequence.

Videos… The first six Sha lom Sesa me 30minute videos are a great way to introduce children ages 4 and up to Israel. The Sesame Street friends plus famous entertainers take children on an exciting adventure through the land, language and culture of Israel. The additional five videos deal with Israel in Song, the Aleph Bet, Chanukah, and Passover.

Computer software…

From One-Minute Bible Stories–Old Testament by Shari Lewis. Copyright © 1986 by Shari Lewis. Used by permission of Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. Answers to Animals in the Bible: Lion: mentioned 167 times; Ram: 165 times; Ox: 156; Sheep: 155; Lamb: 153; Bullock: 152; Donkey: 142; Horse: 137; Goat: 131; Camel: 56.

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T or a h Rhymes and Ri ddles. Torah Educational Software. This ArtScroll CD-ROM for PC or Macintosh allows children to explore 70 interactive Torah stories and riddles.

Tips for Talking to Your Child

Apples & HoneyTM is a publication of the Robert E. Loup Jewish Community Center, 350 South Dahlia Street, Denver, CO 80246.

words are likely to have more effect. ➤ Remember it’s the behavior you’re against, not the child. Saying “You’re a slob” brands the child. Telling him “You need to clean up your room” explains what needs to be done without branding him.

The purpose of Apples & Honey is to serve as an educational publication and outreach tool for expectant and new parents interested in learning about how to create a Jewish home.

➤ Avoid using “I” when you ask your child to do something. Instead, take the focus off yourself. “Your room needs to be cleaned” is a simple fact: “I told you to clean up your room” makes you the center of a power struggle.

➤ Don’t swat flies. When something needs to be done, ask once and make sure your child understands what is needed. Then take action if it doesn’t get done. If you tell your child breakfast is ready and she doesn’t come, you don’t need to ask again (and make it clear your words don’t mean much). Instead, let breakfast get cold. Your child will get it.

➤ Remember to spend as much time on praise as you do on correcting discipline problems.

➤ Don’t be in a rush to make judgments. When you child tells you someone was mean, stop yourself from saying “That’s terrible!” Instead, adopt a psychologist’s technique: parrot what your child said. “So you think she was mean?” lets your child know you’re listening and encourages her to keep talking so she can make her own judgment about what to do next.

➤ Don’t feel you always have to get involved. Sometimes the best response is no response, as when a child is having a tantrum. If you can wait until the worst is over, you withhold what the child is seeking—attention—and your

Robert E. Loup Jewish Community Center 350 South Dahlia Street Denver, CO 80246

➤ When you see a conflict coming, offer a choice. “Would you like peas or carrots?” lets your child have some control, and gives you what you want: a vegetable in your child’s stomach.

Lisa Farber Miller, Editor Sandra Widener, Managing Editor Hal Aqua, Design and Illustration Tamra L. Dollin, Judaic Consultant Bernice Tarlie, Bibliographer Dr. Jessica Pearson, Evaluation Consultant Risa Towbin Aqua, Calligraphy

Editorial Advisory Board Rabbi Daniel Goldberger, Dr. Ed Goldson, Rabbi David Nelson, Rabbi Raymond Zwerin

Individual subscriptions and bulk orders of newsletters are available by calling 303-3992660. There are 16 issues of Apples & Honey: prenatal issue; newborn to 3 months; 4–6 months; 7–9 months; 10–12 months; 12–18 months; 18–24 months; 2–2 1/2 years; 2 1/2–3 years; 3–3 1/2 years; 3 1/2–4 years; 4–4 1/2 years; 4 1/2–5 years; Fall Holidays (Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Sukkot); Spring Holidays (Purim and Passover); and Winter Holidays (Chanukah and Tu B’Shevat). Apples & Honey was made possible by funds granted by The Covenant Foundation. The statements made and the views expressed, however, are solely the responsibility of the Robert E. Loup Jewish Community Center. © Robert E. Loup Jewish Community Center. No portion of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the Robert E. Loup Jewish Community Center.