Have I Got Your Attention? A Guide to Adult ADHD in Ireland

Have I Got Your ATTENTION ?

Ailín Kennedy is an ADHD coach from Ballinora, Cork, Ireland. She was diagnosed with ADHD at thirty-two and now works with ADHDers, helping them to navigate neurodiversity. Before this, she was a musician, gigging in various bands before leaving for Wales to study science. Swapping a musician’s life of parties and all-nighters, now she runs marathons.

Mike McGrath-Bryan is a writer, journalist, maker and doer from County Cork, Ireland. He has nearly twenty years’ experience in Irish and international media including The Irish Examiner and RTÉ, as well as specialist culture publications like Bandcamp Daily and Nialler9. Diagnosed with ADHD and autism, he has previously contributed to Wired Our Own Way: An Anthology of Irish Autistic Voices (New Island, 2025).

Foreword

Living with ADHD as an adult in Ireland can be both an extraordinary journey and a challenging one. It’s a path marked by creativity, energy and unique ways of thinking – but too often, it’s also shadowed by misunderstanding, frustration and self-doubt. For many years, the stories and struggles of adults with ADHD were left untold, or worse, unheard. That’s why this book is so important. It shines a light on the real experiences as told by those who live with ADHD every day, it offers understanding, hope and practical guidance in equal measure.

In ADHD Ireland, we meet people every day who have just discovered their diagnosis, or who are finally beginning to make sense of a lifetime of feeling ‘different’. For some, it’s a moment of relief – the realisation that there is a reason behind the difficulties with focus, organisation, or time management. For others, it can bring sadness for the years spent not knowing. But wherever someone is on their journey, one thing remains true: knowledge and community makes all the difference.

This book is a reflection of that community. It’s written by adults with ADHD, for adults with ADHD – for people who have navigated work, relationships, parenting, education, and the daily realities of modern life in Ireland while learning to understand their own neurodivergent minds. What makes it powerful is not just the advice it gives, but the empathy that runs through every page. The writers know what it means to miss deadlines, to feel overwhelmed by simple tasks, or to struggle with self-esteem. But they also know what it means to rediscover joy, to find systems that work, and to build a life that celebrates, rather than hides, the strengths of ADHD.

For far too long, ADHD was seen through a narrow lens – as a condition that affects only children, mostly boys, who are ‘hyperactive’. We now know this picture is incomplete. ADHD exists across genders (yes, women can have ADHD), across ages and across every walk of life. The Irish adult ADHD community is growing, not because ADHD is suddenly more common, but because we are finally talking about it. More adults are seeking assessment, support and understanding, that openness is changing lives.

This book arrives at a crucial time: Ireland is beginning to see meaningful conversations about neurodiversity and ADHD in workplaces, schools, universities and homes. Employers are exploring how to support different ways of thinking. Health professionals are expanding their understanding of ADHD beyond childhood. And more of us are realising that ADHD, while challenging, is also a source of creativity, intuition and resilience.

Inside these pages, you will find practical hints and tips –from managing finances to finding focus, from navigating

relationships to building self-compassion. But you’ll also find something even more valuable: honesty. The contributors don’t shy away from the tough moments. They share setbacks and small victories alike, reminding us that progress isn’t always linear, and that self-acceptance is often the hardest – and most important – skill of all.

As you read, you may find yourself nodding along in recognition, laughing at a shared frustration, or even tearing up at a story that mirrors your own. Those connections are what we strive to foster every day: the sense that none of us are alone in this. Whether you were diagnosed decades ago or only yesterday, you belong to a community that understands, supports and celebrates you.

To the authors of this book (Ailín and Mike) – thank you. It takes courage to speak openly about your experiences, and even greater generosity to turn them into something that helps others. By doing so, you’ve created a guide that is deeply practical, but also profoundly human. Congrats and sincere thanks also goes to Síne Quinn from Merrion Press without whose relentless dedication, calls and many gentle reminders, this book would not exist!

To every reader – I hope you take from these pages not just information, but inspiration. May you find tools that work for you, and the permission to let go of what doesn’t. May you see that living with ADHD isn’t about fixing yourself – it’s about understanding yourself and embracing the person you already are.

At ADHD Ireland, we believe that when people with ADHD are empowered, informed and supported, they thrive. This

book is a step in that direction – a companion for those learning, growing and rediscovering their potential. I’m proud to introduce it, and even prouder of the voices behind it.

Together, we are building an Ireland where every adult with ADHD can live not just with acceptance, but where ADHD is celebrated!

Ken Kilbride CEO, ADHD Ireland

Introduction

Ailín Kennedy

I am from the People’s Republic of County Cork, Ireland, and I was diagnosed with combined-type ADHD when I was thirtytwo. This diagnosis was life-changing for me in every way, and it even led me to form my career as an ADHD Coach.

I assumed my busy brain was the result of a childhood spent in a chaotic, musical household and so even though it led to me feeling different from my peers, I failed to find the language to accurately describe my day-to-day struggles.

Since I was small, I thought I would grow up to be a singer and musician. In my teens and twenties, I gigged around Cork, also partaking in the party scene. When this started to take its toll on my mental health, I took a giant step back. I needed to finally figure out my busy brain and see what else I could do with it.

After years of seeking professional help from doctors, therapists and psychiatrists, and gaining a few misdiagnoses along the way, I was eventually referred for an ADHD diagnosis at the age of thirty.

Because of the various psychiatric conditions I was slapped with and medicated for, the referral seemed like another random exercise handed down by a doctor. As such, I was reluctant to go ahead with it.

I knew I needed to learn more about it and so for the next two years, I looked into ADHD, discovering its complexity; the vast differences from person to person, and surprisingly, the fog started to clear. It made sense!

Finally, when I was officially diagnosed at thirty-two, I was hit with spiral of emotions that emerged through an unexpected grieving process: relief, anger, validation, confusion, and eventual pride and acceptance.

ADHD has explained the difficulties I had with paying attention, studying, finding and keeping jobs, relationship struggles, being able to stick to anything, impulsivity, forgetfulness, chronic sleep issues, constant cognitive hyperactivity, never being able to truly relax, emotional dysregulation and chronic boredom. It always felt like there was a disconnect between my intentions and actions.

Now, working as an ADHD coach, I feel privileged and grateful to support my ADHD clients in navigating their own neurodiversity.

My aim with this book is to share the wonderful liberation of finding out that your brain is uniquely wired; you’re not broken, you’re not a bad person, stupid, or lazy, there is a neurobiological explanation for why you are the way you are. Learning about this can help us to unravel endless selfblame and the feeling of being lost. We can be proud of the

strength that a diagnosis can bring about and appreciate ourselves for who we are.

Mike McGrath-Bryan

I’m a writer, features journalist and general man-about-town, hailing from Mallow, County Cork, now living in Cork city. After a lifetime spent bouncing between college courses, jobs, projects and/or pursuits (or often between many at once), in 2021, at the grand auld age of thirty-three, I was diagnosed as autistic. A year later, I was diagnosed with ADHD – which also explained a lot.

I grew up in a busy but loving household, where music, arts and lively conversations – about everything from society to pop culture – were part of daily life. My interests in these areas developed from a very young age – eventually sending me down the path of music journalism and events management. Learning an instrument and starting a band just seemed too difficult for … some mysterious reason.

Running ‘small’, DIY gigs and events in Cork city introduced me to people whose behaviours and tendencies mirrored mine, from what I now know to be called ‘stimming’, to the wider issue of executive dysfunction. Then when a pal began openly discussing their own autism, a lightbulb began flickering over my head, where it got stuck for a few years.

Seeking my diagnoses helped me understand aspects of myself and my behaviours that previously had been the source of a lot of confusion, discord and loneliness. In identifying my neurodivergence, I gained the language and vocabulary to recognise, articulate and advocate for my own

needs. With that same recognition came self-knowledge and self-compassion after a lifetime of seemingly unanswerable internal questions.

My aim with this book is to co-create, curate and provide an accessible, relatable and reliable guide to ADHD and help others at various stages of their own journey, as well as putting further shape on my own body of knowledge on the matter.

Interviewees

Over the course of this book, we’ll be including the real-life experiences, stories and tips of nine people that we met with during the writing process. Every one of them, be they diagnosed or self-identified, is an ADHDer, just like us. Some have agreed to be identified by name, while others have asked to remain anonymous or to use first names only. Many thanks, and much appreciation, are due to:

Neal ‘Nealo’ Keating: Rapper, musician and podcaster from Dublin. Nealo’s debut album, All the Leaves Are Falling was nominated for the RTÉ Choice Music Prize and received many five-star reviews.

Evan Lynch: A proud Clonmel man, Evan is a registered dietitian and sports nutritionist, a busy family man and a former international race walker with over twenty national titles to his name from underage to varsity level.

Méabh McKenna: A musician and visual artist based in Dublin, they are passionate about music education and outreach. Méabh is a multi-instrumentalist, utilising voice, the harp, percussion and electronics.

Neil: Architect and designer based in Dublin and the west of Ireland.

Joël Olympio: Industrial designer and entrepreneur from County Cork and co-founder of a start-up, The Focus Co. He is the winner of the 2023 National James Dyson Award for his creation of the Oasis glasses device, which helps ADHDers enhance focus.

Anonymous producer: Woman in her forties working in TV production and mother of two children.

Dave Rudden: Originally from County Cavan, Dave is a young adult fiction and fantasy writer, with a growing number of published works including the epic fantasy Sister Wake and the middle-grade horror Conn of the Dead, which features a protagonist with ADHD.

Moss Russell: A queer playwright, artist and arts facilitator from County Cork, their show ‘Squish, Stomp, Spin – The Magic of Stim’, has been performed on many stages throughout Ireland and champions a neurodivergent practice known as stimming. Other projects such as ‘The Wiggle Wagon’ and ‘Uncouth’ also seek to change the world by creating accessible arts experiences and dismantling ableism respectively. You will regularly find them emceeing hilarious cabarets at Circus Factory Cork.

Helen Steele: Award-winning fashion designer and artist from Dublin. Helen has become a household name in Ireland, and her colourful and bold clothing lines can be found in Dunnes Stores. Her mainline collections are sold globally as is her art.

Why We Wrote This Book

Debunking the myths around ADHD: Despite an increased awareness and acceptance in recent years of ADHD, there is still a huge amount of uncertainty about it.

Creating a reliable resource: Over the past two decades, the efficacy of online search engines has waned drastically; content provided by websites varies in reliability to manipulate those ever-changing algorithms, and social media, while home to wonderful communities on neurodivergence, is also a hotbed of disinformation. This book is a resource which you can return to in your own time without inadvertently venturing into an online rabbit hole.

Providing a resource in Ireland: While things are improving, much of the current available content is written for an American or British audience. Have I Got Your Attention? is a companion to the ADHD experience in Ireland – from the realities of our healthcare system and disability laws to the myriad intangible ways in which Irish society and culture shape our own experiences as neurodivergent people. It’s estimated that up to five per cent of people have ADHD in Ireland.

Providing a walkthrough of ADHD journeys in Ireland: The processes of referral, consultation, assessment, diagnosis and post-diagnostic care for ADHDers in Ireland are sometimes difficult, usually time consuming, and as with many other aspects of the Irish healthcare system, can be unclear or even confusing. We share aspects of our own experiences, and those of our interviewees to highlight the ups and downs of getting a diagnosis in Ireland.

Explaining the options after a diagnosis: Everyone’s needs are different and so we are aiming to look at the state of post-diagnostic care in Ireland at present, as well as the ways and means currently at our disposal to help treat ADHD and manage its many manifestations.

Helping navigate Irish society and culture as an ADHDer: Like every society, Ireland has its own sets of norms, expectations and implicit understandings that can sometimes feel arbitrary or even alien to neurodivergent people. In this section we look at the various ways in which people with ADHD interact with various aspects of Irish society and culture.

Exploring the lives of ADHD adults living in Ireland: Through case studies and detailed interviews with adults with ADHD, we explore their distinct array of experiences, emotions and accomplishments while also highlighting the diverse possibilities that lie ahead for anyone who’s just been diagnosed.

How to Use this Book

This book has been written and designed for use in a few different ways: to suit the needs and executive abilities of everyone from diagnosed and self-identified adult ADHDers, to those questioning their neurology as well as their loved ones and anyone who’s simply curious about the ADHD experience in Ireland.

Read it as a linear book, from cover to cover

We’ve laid the book out in three parts, following a common timeline experienced by many adult ADHDers. Each chapter

handles a broad aspect of each part of the journey, with different sections addressing specific topics that will arise.

It’s our hope that, by reading it from front to back, you can follow the trajectory of assessment, diagnosis, treatment, and management in as clear a way as possible, while allowing for deep dives where needed.

Dip in and out of it as needed, like a reference work:

While the book follows, insofar as possible, the general steps involved in the average ADHD journey, we’ve broken everything down to its constituent parts for ease of dropping in, looking up specific things, and referring to it over the course of conversations, research, etc.

A Book Designed for ADHD Brains

This book has been designed for ADHD brains – as well as a very structured approach to answering the general questions of ADHD. Each page is laid out in a manner that suits our brains: set in a large font to scan through text quickly, littered with pull quotes to help you find the essentials of a story, and accompanied by information boxes to provide definitions, asides, and other interesting information.

Each chapter will also end with a summary, for easy reference to essentials, and quick review of the information.

When and Where to Use This Book

We’re hoping for this book to be a useful and reliable resource for Irish people on ADHD and the wider

conversation around neurodiversity through every step of the journey.

With that in mind, we’ll be breaking the bulk of our book down to three major categories, laid out below.

The Basics of ADHD

What you need to know about ADHD and its traits, how it might present in people, how it might affect people’s lives as a result, and the processes of referral, diagnosis and immediate post-diagnostic care.

Intended as a general resource for people new to the conversation, or people exploring their own possible neurodivergence – for use ahead of speaking with one’s GP about a public referral, or privately self­referring.

Managing and Treating ADHD

What you need to know about treating and managing ADHD and its traits, including getting to grips with how ADHD affects you personally, discussing medication, therapy, psychiatry, diet and exercise, among other factors, as well as practical steps that can be taken to manage ADHD on a day-to-day basis.

Intended as a resource for people processing a diagnosis of ADHD, working with their GP and specialists to begin management and medical treatment, including stabilisation, and outlining how ADHD might interact with other aspects of neurodivergence and chronic mental­health differences.

Life with Adult ADHD

What you need to know about life in the wider world and society as a late-diagnosed ADHDer, including navigating the worlds of work, education, family, dating, relationships, sex and executive function-heavy aspects of life such as travel.

Intended as a resource for ADHDers living as themselves in the world, including navigating a society and culture still not made for a wide variety of neurotypes and brains, practical tips and tricks, as well as self­care steps.

PART ONE

The Basics of ADHD

What is ADHD?

By Ailín

Describing ADHD is actually quite difficult. It’s too simplistic to say that ADHD means that it’s only hard to focus, sit still, and remember things. The complexity and nuance of ADHD, especially as described by both ADHDer authors of this book, seem never-ending, vast and hard to summarise. I often feel like I can’t describe enough about ADHD, I always feel like it’s difficult to get the whole meaning across. I feel like I am leaving out key facts or need more time to explain, but I guess this book is a long-form situation where I get to do just that!

ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, a neurodevelopmental condition which affects the brain. It is characterised by patterns of developmentally inappropriate symptoms of:

• Inattention – difficulty paying attention, staying on task and being organised

• Impulsivity – difficulty waiting your turn and interrupting others

• Hyperactivity – restlessness, excessive movement, talking and fidgeting

While the neurobiology is complex, at its core, ADHD is associated with differences of executive functioning –the management system of the brain, particularly in the regulation of attention, behaviour, and motivation.

These Include Skills Like:

• Planning

• Monitoring ourselves

• Problem-solving

• Goal setting and follow-through

Executive Function Can Also Include Processes Like:

• Self-regulation – the ability to regulate and control your behaviour

• Motivation

• Delayed gratification and the handling of impulses

• Working memory – temporary holding of information

• Time management

These processes are controlled by the prefrontal cortex, also known as the ‘thinking’ part of the brain. Life is largely governed by these skills and processes, so in having ADHD, you have a challenge with executive function, and it can significantly overthrow every aspect of your life, which it does! With ADHD, we refer to these challenges as executive dysfunction.

The Current Definition of ADHD in the DSM-5-TR:1

Other common features of ADHD that aren’t official ‘symptoms’ in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition Text Revision (DSM­5­TR) include emotional dysregulation – the difficulty in controlling, monitoring and regulating emotions. One study which recognises this anomaly reports that emotional dysregulation is ‘evident in about 34-70 per cent of adults with ADHD’.2 While emotional dysregulation is not included as a core diagnostic criterion in the DSM­5 ­TR, it is widely reported in clinical and research literature.

What is Emotional Dysregulation?

To delve deeper into the emotional side of ADHD, I want to identify the intensity of emotions. Big, overwhelming, emotional flooding that may look like temper tantrums, crying and shouting. It can feel like going from zero to a hundred in nanoseconds. ADHD brains are often led by their emotions, reacting and deciding from emotion rather than taking a step back and thinking about choice.

For example, you may not feel like showering or feel like making dinner, so you listen and respond to the feeling rather

than regulating your emotions and behaviour and making a choice. This is a simple example of how executive dysfunction and emotional regulation can manifest in ADHD.

Part of the reason why emotional dysregulation isn’t officially in the DSM­5­TR is because of the overlap between mood disorders, the broad nature of the topic, and why it’s important to screen for other conditions alongside ADHD in case of misdiagnosis.

What Does it Feel Like to Live With ADHD?

The ADHD profile can have a lot of similarities but also look and feel different to different people. Usually, it’s a very busy brain, filled with numerous thoughts, and that can feel overwhelming. Because ADHD is largely a regulation problem, it can be hard to regulate/control everything from thoughts to emotions, and this extends to behaviour. It can feel like having too many tabs open in your brain all at once and never knowing which tab to pay attention to, or close, and know which ones are important. It can be exhausting and overwhelming to have such a busy brain, and though ADHD often brings high energy, it can also bring intense fatigue and burnout.

There are many strengths to having ADHD, including creativity, spontaneity, resilience, empathy, resourcefulness, hyperfocus, and thinking outside the box. Depending on your ADHD type, you might identify with different strengths and challenges, it’s just about finding what works for you.

diagnosed. I began to see real connections and sort of clarity of things I previously only thought was me. And then I also began writing a book called Conn of The Dead, where I, as I always do with my books, gave my eleven-year-old protagonist all the frustrations I had as a kid, and as I was writing it, and looking at those experiences from the outside, I was like, “Oh, this kid has ADHD, right?” Oh right. I have ADHD. So that’’s when I first began thinking about it very seriously and then made the decision to go get diagnosed. I was having a tough time and thinking that if a diagnosis could make things even ten per cent easier, I will take that right now.’

Anonymous producer:

‘I first learned about ADHD in general as I’m the mother of two boys and my eldest child since primary school was always quite lively and intelligent. But the school in first class said they noticed the possibility of dyspraxia, which we looked into and just dealt with through working with them at home and with exercises. When he got later into primary school, another teacher raised possible ADHD – which I was really surprised about. But this teacher had him in junior infants and in third and fourth class, so she was very familiar with him and she had an autistic son, so she brought up the ADHD thing. I always thought ADHD was something that was extremely hyperactive. When I brought this up, she was like, “Well, he doesn’t ever stop”, which I then noticed later on, he doesn’t actually stop. He’s always active and moving, but we are a very active household. So this wasn’t something that I was massively aware of. And then, obviously, came the Instagram feeds and all the memes, which I found quite entertaining, but then I learned about it by myself more and identified with so much of it.’