2011
Katy Wolfe Sarah Amundson Bevin O’Connor Timothy H. Carter Nicholas Altmann W. B. Zale Matthew Church Kevin Bates Edward Lee
HOBART & WILLIAM SMITH COLLEGS
Khalym Kari Burke-Thomas
Laura Berkey Nancy Amestoy Lauren Wells Kiara Ocasio Erin Parker Kate Cottrell Samantha McKenna
LITERARY MAGAZINE
Tallarie Thurgood
THEL
Brian Burbank
T H E L
2011
THEL 2011 Chief Editor
Sarah Amundson Editor
Timothy H. Carter
:[Hă
Zachary Andrews Khalym Kari Burke-Thomas Benjamin Casola Michael Cichelli Evan Phail W. B. Zale
For KP who nurtured our poet-tree & doesn’t mind a bad pun.
Editors’ Notes Sarah Amundson Chief Editor
THEL PZ [OL JVTIPULK LăVY[ VM THU` THU` WLVWSL ;OPZ THNHaPUL ^V\SKUÂť[ IL WVZZPISL ^P[OV\[ V\Y ^VUKLYM\S Z[Hă ^OVZL enthusiasm to sift through submissions each week was refreshing [OYV\NOV\[ [OL `LHY HTVUN [OH[ NYV\W ,]HU 7OHPS ZOV\SK IL UV[LK MVY OPZ OLSW ^P[O I\KNL[ WYVWVZHSZ V\Y WVL[Y` :SHT HUK OPZ ULHY WLYMLJ[ H[[LUKHUJL 4HU` [OHURZ NV [V ;PT *HY[LY ^OV OLSWLK L]LY` Z[LW VM [OL ^H` L]LU ^OLU OL ^HZ HIYVHK HUK ^OV PZ JVUZ[HU[S` looking to the future and ways to make this publication better. I’m JVUĂ„KLU[ PU OPZ HIPSP[PLZ [V SLHK THEL next year. I’d like to thank the MHJ\S[` PU [OL ,UNSPZO +LWHY[TLU[ ^P[O ZWLJPHS [OHURZ [V 7YVMLZZVYZ +H]PK >LPZZ HUK 4LSHUPL *VUYV` .VSKTHU -PUHSS` 0ÂťK SPRL [V [OHUR V\Y HTHaPUN HK]PZLY [OL WLYZVU ^OV IYV\NO[ \Z HSS [VNL[OLY HUK WLYZVUHSS` OLSWLK TL YLHSPaL [OL PTWHJ[ VM WVL[Y` PU T` SPML [OL VUL and only: Karl Parker. Mary Shelley called Frankenstein her “hideous progeny.â€? I MLLS ZPTPSHYS` HIV\[ [OPZ W\ISPJH[PVU [OL Ă„YZ[ HUK Ă„UHS PU T` [PTL HZ editor. However THEL PZ HZZLTISLK UV[ MYVT SL[[LYZ HUK [OL SPTIZ VM JVYWZLZ I\[ MYVT [OL ]LY` T\JO HSP]L ^VYR VM [OL Z[\KLU[Z OLYL H[ /VIHY[ >PSSPHT :TP[O *VSSLNLZ ;YHKP[PVUHSS` THEL has been H ZOV^JHZL VM IV[O Z[\KLU[ ^YP[PUN HUK Z[\KLU[ HY[^VYR I\[ ^P[O limited funds and a growing number of strong student writers we’ve decided to really emphasize the fantastic work of our student writers. ;OPZ PZ H KP]LYZL JVSSLJ[PVU PU ^OPJO `V\ÂťSS Ă„UK H SP[[SL ZVTL[OPUN MVY L]LY`VUL L_JLW[ [OL PSSP[LYH[L ^P[O HU LTWOHZPZ SHYNLS` VU WVL[Y` Even in this small community of writers the verse varies. Expect to Ă„UK WVL[Y` SPRL JV[[VU JHUK` HUK WVL[Y` SPRL `V\Y TV[OLYÂťZ TLH[IHSSZ [OL MHU[HZ[PJ HUK [OL MHTPSPHY ILHRLK LSLWOHU[Z [V OVZWP[HS ^HP[PUN rooms and much of what falls between. 9LHK \W LH[ \W LUQV` Sarah Amundson
Timothy H. Carter Editor
THEL magazine has been through a long and arduous journey to get where it is today. Every couple of years management JOHUNLZ OHUKZ ^OPJO TLHUZ [OH[ L]LY` JV\WSL VM `LHYZ [OL THNHaPUL TVYWOZ PU[V ZVTL[OPUN KPăLYLU[ :VTL `LHYZ LU[O\ZPHZ[PJ Z[\KLU[Z TPNO[ M\Y[OLY [OL THNHaPUL JVUZPKLYHIS` 6[OLY `LHYZ [OLYL TPNO[ IL an absence of involvement and the magazine would fall into a terrible stasis. I guess this is the inevitable worry of any undergraduate magazine that is trying to gain momentum. I’m particularly thankful for the forward-looking student leaders of past years who have helped to make a space for this year’s THEL :WLJPĂ„JHSS` ,TPS` :OLLOHU HUK 9VNLY (YUVSK [^V WLVWSL who helped teach me how to give birth to a beautiful little magazine WVZP[PVUZ IYLH[OPUN L_LYJPZLZÂŻ .LULYHSS` 0ÂťK SPRL [V [OHUR L]LY`VUL LSZL ^OV OLSWLK! ^P[O SH`V\[ HK]LY[PZLTLU[ Z\ITPZZPVU review. You’re too numerous to thank but your part was integral. THEL is very much our bosom baby (and I say this collectively). It is also very much a small child. I hope that in the coming years it continues to concretize takes an identity and grows up healthy and strong. This is why I’m excited about the continuation of our online THEL. It’s a great way to get the word out to the world that there’s a magazine at Hobart & William Smith Colleges. (Z MVY [OPZ J\YYLU[ ]VS\TL 0 KLĂ„UP[LS` WSLHZLK ^P[O [OL Z\ITPZZPVUZ ^L YLJLP]LK >LÂťYL H MHPYS` KLTVJYH[PJ JS\I T\JO TVYL than other undergraduate magazines I’ve talked with. Any students who regularly attend meetings have a chance to review submissions. As the THEL TPUK ^L SVVR MVY [PNO[ SHUN\HNL HUK LUNHNPUN VY QVS[PUN [^PZ[Z .YHTTHY HUK Z`U[H_ T\Z[ WLYMVYT )HZPJHSS` ^L ^HU[ [V YLHK ZVTL[OPUN [OH[ THRLZ \Z QLHSV\Z ZVTL[OPUN [OH[ RUVJRZ us on our ass. I sincerely hope you enjoy this year’s THEL HUK 0 hope that in future generations THEL swells. (Z H Ă„UHS ^VYK 0ÂťK SPRL [V KLKPJH[L [OPZ ]LY` ZWLJPHS Ă„UHS WHYHNYHWO [V :HYHO (T\UKZVU [OL THNHaPULÂťZ JOPLM LKP[VY >OLU 0
^HZ HIYVHK PU [OL MHSS :HYHO ^HZ NL[[PUN [OL WVL[Y` YVSSPUN VU JHTW\Z >OLU 0 JHTL IHJR PU [OL ZWYPUN :HYHO ZWLU[ JV\U[SLZZ OV\YZ W\[[PUN [VNL[OLY Z\ITPZZPVU WHJRL[Z ZJOLK\SPUN TLL[PUNZ ^YP[PUN LTHPSZ HUK KVPUN SH`V\[ ;OHUR `V\ :HYHO MVY ILPUN H YLHSS` WVL[PJ THJOPUL HUK a generous chief.
:PUJLYLS` Timothy H. Carter
Contents 2H[` >VSML Settle
1
2OHS`T 2HYP )\YRL ;OVTHZ Crouching Woman :HYHO (T\UKZVU Romance
3
)L]PU 6»*VUUVY Angels
4
;PTV[O` / *HY[LY At a Glance
6
5PJOVSHZ (S[THUU Gene Wilder Lied
7
> ) AHSL 1:06 PM
2
8
:HYHO (T\UKZVU You’re Seeing a Rabbit
9
4H[[OL^ *O\YJO Where I Lived and What I Lived With
10
> ) AHSL Charles Stanley of the Impact Prayer Team
11
2L]PU )H[LZ Married on a Wednesday 12 Bevin O’Connor :[HSL
,K^HYK 3LL Valencian Son
16
3H\YH )LYRL` “When I was younger...” 18 5HUJ` (TLZ[V` Fallen Bicycle 19 )YPHU )\YIHUR Notions Of Drifting
20
;PTV[O` / *HY[LY Luminosity gazes at me as I glare back. A truck hauls hearts 21 2OHS`T 2HYP )\YRL ;OVTHZ Danaid
22
:HYHO (T\UKZVU Skins
23
3H\YLU >LSSZ Politics of Lying
28
> ) AHSL Whimper
29
;HSSHYPL ;O\YNVVK Naked
30
5PJOVSHZ (S[THUU “I am in...�
31
3H\YLU >LSSZ A Diner on West Fourth Street 32 2PHYH 6JHZPV Bloodline
33
;HSSHYPL ;O\YNVVK Full Moon 34 :HYHO (T\UKZVU /LHY [OL /V\ZL
,YPU 7HYRLY For Georgia O’Keefe
36
2H[` >VSML An End
37
2H[L *V[[YLSS Waiting Games 38 5HUJ` (TLZ[V` Sunday
39
2L]PU )H[LZ Suburban Morning
40
,]HU 7OHPS 5V 7\U 0U[LUKLK
;PTV[O` / *HY[LY Henry Bugsworth III
46
:HYHO (T\UKZVU Conduct Unbecoming A Postal Worker 5PJOVSHZ (S[THUU “Charging Elephants...�
49
:HTHU[OH 4J2LUUH Golden Frost
48
Katy Wolfe
Settle
Picture this page HZ P[ I\PSKZ H Ă„LSK of stories to cover smells and sounds of grain scratching between points of your soles
1
Khalym Kari Burke-Thomas
Crouching Woman
9VKPU )YVUaL
Ă…LZO YPUNZ YV\UK OLY IVULZ like ink any closer & she might drink herself
2
Sarah Amundson
Romance
-PUHSS` ^OLU 0 OLHYK [OL H\[OVY speak: His words were shadowbox scenes
VM \Z Z[\TISPUN! KY\UR VU OVUL` SPTIZ [HUNSLK PU ZOLL[Z I\[ UV NOVZ[Z [V NYLL[ \Z OHYK [V OVSK & sticky thick. We both try our hand at being literal but my printed parts are more resilient than that bee-sweet treat. He’s saved you from some italicized subconscious and I am grateful not to have to read what’s on your mind: I’m so tired of hermeneutics. Now where’s that goddamn matchbook? Taking his turn and breathing:
In the halting summer sun they lie SPTWPK IHJRZ [V [OLPY ZJYH[JOLK NSHZZ SHRL IH[OPUN PU [OL ^HYT[O of a slow-burning home; she lights a cigarette and there they wait.
3
Bevin O’Connor Angels
:OL»Z UV Z^LL[ [HSRLY But a straight shooter Especially when aiming At angels perched on her Porch swing
¸;OL` NV[ UV YPNO[ ¹ ZOL»SS ZH` /LY KPTWSLK ÄZ[Z 5\YZPUN H ZHNNPUN HIKVTLU ( :H^LK Vă )LYL[[H YLZ[PUN Across her milky thighs And her feet stretched out 0U MYVU[ VM OLY )\UPVU [V I\UPVU Like a pair of guards.
:OL \ZLK [V IL ILH\[PM\S :VTL ZHPK Back when she thought -PYLÅPLZ ^LYL SVZ[ SV]LK VULZ Carrying teardrops On their backs (UK .VK Well God was the reason Grass smelled The sweetest when you Were barefoot And she wanted To feel God like Those soft green Blades on her skin
4
She heard once That you had to Let God into your veins To really be saved So she gauged the lines From her hands And lay face up in A dirt road with Her cherry-red palms Facing the sky and waited.
She waited like you Might wait for a second *\W VM JVăLL Or for someone To tell you the time But she never felt God like grass on Her skin :V UV^ ^OLU (UNLSZ Climb her front steps With their wings Fluttering behind them 3PRL ZOLL[Z VU H JSV[OLZSPUL She shoves two slugs Into that Beretta And shakes her head ¸@V\ NV[ UV YPNO[ You just got no right”
Timothy H. Carter
At a Glance
We’re all solipsists And terribly horny
6
Nicholas Altmann
Gene Wilder Lied
6U H YLN\SHY KH` 0]HU [OL I\[JOLY VU >HZOPUN[VU Street was standing in the living room and smelt NHYIHNL JVTPUN MYVT OPZ IH[OYVVT /L `LSSLK ¸@6 ;PUH ^OH[»Z NHYIHNL KVPUN PU [OL IH[OYVVT&¹ ;PUH [OL I\[JOLY»Z ^PML ZUHWWLK OLY OLHK \W MYVT OLY 5H[PVUHS .LVNYHWOPJ L_JSHPTLK ¸0 KVU»[ RUV^ 3L[»Z NV ZLL [VNL[OLY ¹ ;OL [^V [YH]LSSLK [V^HYKZ [OL source of the smell & looked at what was delicately ÅVH[PUN PU H [VPSL[ IV^S ¸0[»Z HU HSSPNH[VY 0]HU /V^K`H Z\WWVZL [OPZ ILHZ[ NV[ PU V\Y [VPSL[&¹ ;PUH ZHPK ¸0[ smells like it came from a sewer. Trust me. It’s a TPYHJ\SV\Z ISLZZPUN¹ 0]HU ZHPK ;PUH ^HZ HMYHPK VM ^OH[ Ivan had planned. Ivan kept the Alligator & fed him leftover scraps from the Meat Market. Soon the Alligator was walking on 4 and running on 2. The Alligator loved playing Basketball w/ the city youth and was relatively pleasant. Eventually the Alligator graduated high school & went to the local college without too much trouble. He began working for Ivan at the Meat Market. A few years passed & Ivan was proud but the Alligator had ants in his pants & needed to put his degree to the test. He sued Ivan for lifetime hostage & took over the Meat Market. “I’ve remained there & my autobiography has been a best seller for TVU[OZ ,]LY`VUL SV]LZ H SPML[PTL OVZ[HNL ZT\NNSLK in- from-the-sewer-success story and BOY did it sell.”
7
W.B. Zale 1:06 PM
0 OHK H KYLHT HIV\[ `V\ I` [OL ^H` we were on a bus to Singapore it had a bar I forgot my passport. Good thing you slipped the bartender a couple of twenties. His face lit up like only a bus bartender’s can. But the bus. What kind of bus has a bar and no bathroom? Terrible design. And the bar. It was only serving mai-tais. What do they even drink in Sinagpore?
We enjoyed ourselves, though laughing, holding in the pee. Maybe next time ZH¡OO EH RQ D SODQH ZLWK D GDQFH à RRU on the way to Ecuador. See you then.
8
Sarah Amundson You’re Seeing a Rabbit
(ZZ\TPUN [OL Z\WLYUH[\YHS KVLZUÂť[ L_PZ[ L_WSHPU JHSJ\S\Z HUK [OL [PTL `V\ ^LYL WVZZLZZLK ^OLU `V\Y L`LZ YVSSLK ^OP[L HUK [OL YVVT ZOP]LYLK and you shook something terrible and the circle of salt around the Ouija JV\SKUÂť[ RLLW TL MYVT `V\ ^OPJO TH` OH]L ILLU T` MH\S[ HM[LY HSS HZ 0 Z\IZ[P[\[LK Z\NHY ILPUN ZVTL^OH[ VM H ZRLW[PJ T`ZLSM *VUZPKLY V\Y J\YYLU[ Z[H[L VM HăHPYZ >OL[OLY `V\ SPRL 2YPZW` 2YLTL VY UV[ ^OL[OLY `V\Âť]L L]LY ILLU [V [OL VUL PU 7LUU :[H[PVU H[ WVZ[ TLYPKPHU VU H ;\LZKH` 0[ KVLZUÂť[ ZH` HU`[OPUN H[ HSS HIV\[ [OL YLHSP[` VM [OL \UP]LYZL 0 KVUÂť[ ILSPL]L PU WVZZLZZPVU I\[ P[ÂťZ [Y\L 0 ILSPL]L PU [HUNPISL [OPUNZ PU IVKPLZ PU KVU\[Z (UK 0 ZHPK ZL_ HUK KVU\[Z HYL ZHJYLK" ZL_ PZ holy. He wouldn’t take a position about whether something is sacred or not. 0 [VSK OPT OL ^HZ H WY\KL KVU\[Z HYL KLĂ„UP[LS` ZHJYLK KLĂ„HU[S` ZHJYLK Maybe even the most sacred because it’s something we can all agree is NVVKULZZ PZ OVS` /L ZHPK `V\ÂťYL NL[[PUN [OPZ HSS ^YVUN! >OH[ HIV\[ dispossession? What about ownership? Stop explaining and understand: It’s like a hammer. It’s good for hamTLYPUN I\[ UV[ NVVK MVY ZJYL^PUN [OPUNZ PU 0 YLNYL[ [OH[ T` Z^LL[ [VV[O OHZ ILLU OHTWLYPUN V\Y JVU]LYZH[PVU Z\NHYÂťZ NVVK MVY JVH[PUN I\[ UV[ ZV NYLH[ MVY RLLWPUN IHJR IHK ZWPYP[Z /L NVLZ 0 ULLK [V JOHUNL what you’re looking at; I need to change the way you’re looking. He sat TL KV^U HUK JSVZLK T` L`LZ /L WSH`LK H SV^ [YPIHS KY\TILH[ HUK L_WLJ[LK TL [V Z^H` /L SP[ H ZJLU[LK JHUKSL 6YHUNL +YLHTZPJSL HUK ^OPZWLYLK PU T` LHY! @V\ÂťYL ZLLPUN H K\JR [OLU ^OH[ OHWWLUZ&
9
Matthew Church Where I Lived and What I Lived With
I lived alone in the woods where the only eyes on me were the knots on the trees. I lived where the vastness of the forest makes you feel vulnerable and helpless as though you were trapped in an endless hedge maze. I lived in an ominous place where the shadows of trees swallow you whole and between each trunk are paths untrodden. Not only was [OL ZL[[PUN KPăLYLU[ I\[ [OL PUOHIP[HU[Z HYV\UK TL ^LYL \U\Z\HS HZ ^LSS >OPSL IHYL ]LPU SPRL [LUKYPSZ VM [OL [YLLZ ^YP[OL HUK Z[YL[JO [V^HYK [OL JLY\SLHU ZR` [OL MVYLZ[ ÅVVY PZ YPKKSLK ^P[O SPML [OH[ ZSV^S` JVUZ\TLZ [OL dry soil. A deer was more apt to cross paths with me before any human. 0 ^HZ V\[ VM T` JVTMVY[ aVUL Z[YPWWLK VM HSS ZVJPHS PUZ[PUJ[ HUK MVYJLK to live strictly by means of survival. Think of me as an ant away from the JVSVU` ^HUKLYPUN HIV\[ [OL ^PSK PU VYKLY [V LZJHWL [OL JVUZ[YHPU[Z VM society and search for a broader and simpler perspective. :[ (SIHUZ 4HPUL PZ YHKPV UV^OLYL 0[ PZ H [V^U ZV MHY PU[V [OL sticks that it can be called the backwoods of the boondocks. The people [OLYL HYL X\PL[ MYVT H ¸ÅH[SHUKLY»Z¹ WLYZWLJ[P]L ;OL` KVU»[ OH]L T\JO [V ZH` ILJH\ZL [OLYL PZU»[ T\JO [V IL [VSK 0U H ZVJPL[HS ZLUZL [OL` HYL H ÄUL YLWYLZLU[H[PVU VM ^OH[ PZ ZPTWSL! UV[ LSHIVYH[L HUK ILPUN ^P[OV\[ HKKP[PVUZ 4LYL +V^U [V^U :[ (SIHUZ OHZ H NHZ Z[H[PVU H [YHĄJ SPNO[ HUK a library no larger than a tool shed. Simple is where simple lives.
10
W.B. Zale Charles Stanley of the Impact Prayer Team
On the third of every month a pre-recorded Southern drawl calls and leaves a message on my phone.
I imagine him (Mr. Stanley) PU OPZ ZOPY[ZSLL]LZ feet up on his desk after a hard day’s work of religion. He’s smoking a divine cigarette and proselytizing into an old metal microphone. /L [LSSZ TL ^OH[ [V WYH` MVY and why I should be thankful. I never pick up when Mr. Stanley JHSSZ I\[ 0 HS^H`Z ÄUK T`ZLSM SPZ[LUPUN to what he leaves me.
11
Kevin Bates Married on a Wednesday Wendy had always been the type for calendars. There was UV[OPUN ^YP[[LU VU HU` VM [OL KH`Z [OPZ ^LLR L_JLW[ MVY ;O\YZKH` ^OLYL “Steph Arrivalâ€? sat in tidy red Sharpie letters. >OLU ZOL ^HZ HSVUL >LUK` ^V\SK NL[ KPZVYPLU[LK :OL ^HZUÂť[ WHY[PJ\SHYS` Z\YL ^OH[ KH` P[ ^HZ [VKH` :OL OVWLK P[ ^HZ >LKULZKH` ZV :[LWO ^V\SK HYYP]L [OL UL_[ KH` 0U [OL [O NYHKL [OL` OHK JHSSLK OLY “Wendy Wednesdayâ€? because she was boring. Wendy woke up Thursday to discover it was Wednesday again when Helen called. ¸/HWW` >LUK`ÂťZKH` š /LSLU ZHPK ¸/P TVT š >LUK` YVSSLK IHJR [V [OL ^HYT ZPKL VM [OL ILK ^P[O the phone. The neighbor’s sheep were calling out. It reminded her of 4HYRÂťZ ZUVYPUN ^OPJO ZOL KPKUÂť[ TPUK I\[ MV\UK HUUV`PUN JVTPUN MYVT sheep. ¸6O KLHY 0 OVWL 0ÂťT UV[ KPZ[\YIPUN `V\ (YL `V\ THRPUN S\UJO&š Helen asked. >LUK`ÂťZ L`LZ KHY[LK V]LY [OL Ă…HZOPUN ¸ ! š VU [OL =*9 ILMVYL Ă„UKPUN [OL YHKPV JSVJR ^OPJO ZOV^LK ! :OL PTHNPULK OLYZLSM ZH`PUN ¸@LZ VM JV\YZL TVT 0ÂťT THRPUN S\UJO MVY T` PTHNPUHY` MHTPS` ^OV ^VRL \W H[ (4 HUK [OL [OPYK JV\YZL PZ ULHYS` Ă„UPZOLK 0ÂťSS IL HUV[OLY OV\Y NHYUPZOPUN [OL K\JR HUK [VZZPUN [OL ZHSHKZ I\[ 0ÂťT Z\YL 0ÂťSS Ă„UK H moment.â€? ¸>LSS `V\ JV\SKUÂť[ IL KPZ[\YIPUN TL I` T`ZLSM š ZHPK >LUK` laughing. ¸)\[ KV `V\ OH]L H TPU\[L [V [HSR&š HZRLK /LSLU ^P[O NLU\PUL JVUJLYU :VTLKH` [OH[ =*9 JSVJR ^V\SK ULLK [V IL Ă„_LK ¸5V TVT 0ÂťT Ă„ š >LUK` J\[ OLYZLSM Vă ^P[O H `H^U ¸6O KLHY @V\ ^VYR `V\YZLSM [VV OHYK `V\ ZV\UK L_OH\Z[LK 0ÂťSS call back later.â€? “OK. Bye mom.â€? Wendy rolled to the cold side again to hang \W [OL WOVUL <WVU YVSSPUN IHJR ZOL MV\UK [V OLY HUUV`HUJL [OH[ ZOL could no longer sleep. >LUK` ZH[ VU [OL ISHJR ILUJO VU [OL WVYJO TPUKPUN OLY V^U I\ZPULZZ SVVRPUN V\[ H[ [^V JYV^Z WSH`PUN I` [OL NHYKLU Ă„SSLK ^P[O weeds. Mark would not be home for two weeks. She was left with the
12
;LYJLS H SVHK VM \UZ[HJRLK ^VVK HUK VUS` [OL ZOLLW MVY JVTWHU` 3H[LY [OH[ UPNO[ [OL ZOLLW ^LYL JHSSPUN HNHPU ^OPSL >LUK` JSLHULK [OL SP]PUN YVVT :VTLOV^ ZOL MV\UK OLYZLSM ZP[[PUN ^P[O H WPLJL VM WHWLY HUK ILMVYL ZOL RUL^ P[ OV\YZ OHK WHZZLK HUK P[ ^HZ KHYR V\[ZPKL :OL had written a poem about the wind and how it couldn’t decide where it ^V\SK ISV^ I\[ JHYYPLK L]LY`[OPUN LSZL ^P[O P[ HYV\UK [OL ^VYSK Wendy brought the poem to bed with her and left it on the table by the WOVUL :OL Z[HYLK V\[ [OL ^PUKV^ OHYKS` [OPURPUN ;OL Z[HYZ YLTPUKLK >LUK` VM :[LWO»Z ÄYZ[ RPZZ :OL OHK ZU\JR out and Wendy watched with her face pressed to the pane as their bodies swayed back and forth on the hood of the old pick-up out back. She imagined what they said: ¸@V\ SVVR ILH\[PM\S ¹ ZHPK [OL IV` ¸@V\Y HSYPNO[ ¹ ZHPK :[LWO ¸0 WPJRLK `V\ [OLZL ÅV^LYZ VU [OL OPSSZPKL ¹ ZHPK [OL IV` /L YLHSS` KPK OH]L ÅV^LYZ I\[ [OL` ^LYL ^YHWWLK PU WHWLY /L WYVIHIS` bought them. ¸;OHURZ ¹ ZHPK :[LWO ¸^L JV\SK ZTLSS ºLT ^OPSL `V\ [LSS TL HIV\[ Music.” ¸>LSS ¹ ZHPK [OL IV` ¸T\ZPJ PZ SPRL TH[O I\[ P[ THRLZ L]LU TVYL sense.” ¸4H[O KVLZU»[ THRL T\JO ZLUZL [V TL ¹ ZHPK :[LWO >LUK` NPNNSLK ¸0 ULLK T` SP[[SL ZPZ[LY [V OLSW TL ^P[O P[ ¹ ZOL [OV\NO[ VM HKKPUN but it lacked believability. ¸>LSS P[»Z SPRL [OL UPNO[ ZR` ¹ ZHPK [OL IV` ¸@V\ ZLL HSS [OVZL Z[HYZ HUK [OL` ZLLT Q\Z[ YHUKVT )\[ PM `V\ SVVR H[ [OLT H KPăLYLU[ ^H` SPRL ZH` [OVZL VULZ NV [VNL[OLY ¹ ;OL IV` ^HZ WVPU[PUN \W H[ [OL ZR` HUK :[LWO»Z L`LZ ^LYL MVSSV^PUN OPZ ÄUNLY ¸ [OL IPN KPWWLY ¹ :[LWO ZHPK ¸@LHO ¹ ZHPK [OL IV` ¸HM[LY [OH[ `V\ JHU»[ ZLL [OLT HU` V[OLY ^H` Music is like that. It’s all just a bunch of noise until you realize which notes need to be together.” They had been kissing before Wendy was done speaking his lines. >OLU :[LWO ZU\JR IHJR PU ZOL HZRLK ¸+PK `V\ ZLL&¹ “Is he a musician?” asked Wendy. ¸5V ¹ ZHPK :[LWO ¸OL ^HU[Z [V IL H JHYWLU[LY ¹ :[LWO ZPNOLK ZPURPUN PU[V OLY ILK ^OPSL >LUK` ^H[JOLK [OL IV` ^HSR KV^U [OL YVHK and then looked at the stars. Wendy woke Thursday to learn that Steph wasn’t coming. “I have a really close friend that I need to see tonight. I was supposed to spend last Saturday with him but mom dragged us to fuckin’
13
JO\YJO (WWHYLU[S` 4LNOHU PZ Vă VM +LYYPJR HUK ^P[O ZVTL UL^ N\` now and I don’t even know his name but he got to spend some quality [PTL ^P[O TVT WVVY RPK ZV HU`^H` 0 KVU»[ RUV^ ^OH[»Z NVPUN VU ^P[O OLY HUK 1\SPH OHZ ILLU Z^LHYPUN ZV T\JO YLJLU[S` 0 KVU»[ RUV^ ^OLYL ZOL NL[Z P[ MYVT ZV HU`^H` 0 OVWL HSS»Z ^LSS H[ `V\Y LUK :LUK 4HYR T` SV]L when he gets home.” She put the phone away and stood up. The VCR blinked “12:00” at her. 4HYR W\SSLK \W [OL KYP]L^H` [OYLL KH`Z HOLHK VM ZJOLK\SL I\[ >LUK` OHK WHJRLK OLY Z\P[JHZL Ä]L KH`Z ILMVYL [OH[ :OL ^HP[LK VU [OL ISHJR ILUJO VU [OL WVYJO TPUKPUN OLY V^U I\ZPULZZ ^OLU OL YHU \W [OL Z[LWZ HUK ZHPK ¸[OL WYVQLJ[ ^LU[ NYLH[ ¹ ¸;OH[»Z ÄUL ¹ ZHPK >LUK` :OL SVVRLK MYVT [OL JYV^Z ILOPUK 4HYR ÄNO[PUN PU [OL NHYKLU IHJR [V OLY O\ZIHUK»Z ZTPSPUN MHJL “Andy said it sounded better than the recording Gregory had KVUL MVY [OLT SHZ[ `LHY HUK [OH[ ^VU H .YHTT` 0 OH]L H YLHSS` NVVK feeling about this. I have something I’ve been wanting to talk to you HIV\[ ¹ 4HYR ZHPK ¸0 OH]L [VV ¹ ZHPK >LUK` I\[ J\YPVZP[` NV[ [OL IL[[LY VM OLY ¸`V\ NV ÄYZ[ ¸62 ¹ OL ZHPK 4HYR W\[ OPZ OHUKZ [VNL[OLY HUK YPNO[ PU MYVU[ VM [OL JYV^Z ZHPK ¸0 ^HU[ [V OH]L H IHI` ¹ >LUK`»Z TPUK ^HZ Y\UUPUN I\[ no strong positive or negative feeling emerged. “Before we run out of [PTL ¹ HKKLK 4HYR >LUK` JV\SKU»[ ZLL P[ Q\Z[ [OLU I\[ \WZ[HPYZ PU [OL ILKYVVT [OL =*9 ^HZ ÅHZOPUN ¸ ! ¹ HUK ^V\SK IL MVY H SVUN SVUN [PTL.
14
Bevin O’Connor
Stale
)` UV^ autumn has shed it’s hesitant skin matted and sweet and rotting all year I have been [VW ZOLS]LK a slowly bruising pear HSS ÅLZO` HUK ZVM[ PU T` ZRPU and I can hear you still only sometimes echoing like an ocean in my mind “You look lovely” drenched in stale lamp light
[VTVYYV^ think of me in pieces in knuckles and lesions and teeth as they fall from my mouth biting and jagged like an ivory sort of faith.
Edward Lee Valencian Son
0 HT PU =HSLUJPH H [V^U 0 Z\ZWLJ[ TH` UL]LY JVU]LYZL ^P[O [OL ZUV^ T` MH[OLY ÅLK OLYL WLYOHWZ for the warmth not found at home; ( ZSHI VM SHUK H ZTHSS THU [OH[ JP[LK ºPYYLJVUJPSHISL KPăLYLUJLZ» as it tore itself apart. And I drive through this old kingdom [V ÄUK H THU 0 VUJL RUL^ someone my mother claimed OHK [H\NO[ TL IYVRLU ,UNSPZO and given me this broken nose.
0 JHTL [V JSHPT OPZ LăLJ[Z >VS]LZ YHPZLK TL UV[ OPT my creation myth taking shape in dreams torn by canine teeth; but I am not afraid of the truth.
;OL HPY P[ZLSM MLLSZ HZ PM P[ ^LYL IV[[SLK stored just in case the Moors won YLTPUKPUN TL [OH[ 0 ^HZ VUJL `V\UN and dreamed of beautiful things. But it’s getting thinner.
0 ^VUKLY ^O` 0 ZLLR OPZ IVULZ 7LYOHWZ [V JVTWHYL [PIPH SLUN[O to gnaw back at the thoughts that have gnawed on me. Perhaps I’ll lie down next to them and pretend I was complete.
16
I see the Spanish wrought-iron gate that chides the world of the living: ºOV^ S\JR` `V\ HYL OV^ ZHK » I see the pebbles push by like congregations and the sand they will one day become. And peering in I can see the tombs [OH[ YHKPH[L H JLY[HPU KPZHăLJ[PVU yet give hope in the most morbid way. ;OL NH[L PZ SVJRLK ZV 0 OVW [OL MLUJL SHUKPUN IL[^LLU HUK 0 SVVR MVY OPZ SHZ[ ÄUHS UHTL HZ [OL Z\U ZL[Z" nothing dies on time. Fog emerges to celebrate nighttime: KHYRULZZ PZ UV[ H JLY[HPU[` [OPZ JSVZL [V .VK And somewhere lost in those exhaling clouds is the last breath of my father and I hate them for it. The shadows of wolves are my carry-ons as I slumber over the Atlantic.
7LYOHWZ T` MH[OLY PZ UV[ KLHK but instead eating paella with God and all of God’s friends PU /PZ Z\WWLY YVVT PU :WHPU and I am conveniently forgotten.
17
Laura Berkey
When I was younger my life was already molding and folding around me. When I was younger I had nothing to say on the things that worry me. >OLU 0 ^HZ `V\UNLY 0 MLS[ ZV T\JO VSKLY [OHU 0 KV UV^ HUK 0 ZLL That when I was younger my heart was fuller and compassion stayed in me.
18
Nancy Amestoy Fallen Bicycle
A kickstand will keep gravity in check while we wait a minute is only a long time when you’re holding your breath might quicken when there’s fear in your throat— I hear that a sniper’s a sure shot. Brother I’m sorry there’s a bend in your handlebars. Sarajevo we’re sorry there’s blood on your streets.
19
Brian Burbank
Notions Of Drifting
I.
II.
III.
I sat on a riverbank in New Orleans now washed away like the lives it was to protect Inverted – the city is – backwards depending who you ask
The ebb and ÅV^ ZWLHRZ¡ pouring and pouting drinking and sprouting :V T\JO JYLH[LK or discovered
Steady streams of ÄJRSL ULZZ THZRLK by deliberate thought— What is today? 0 ZLU[ ÅV^LYZ at least.
20
Timothy H. Carter Luminosity gazes at me as I glare back. A truck hauls hearts
Luminosity gazes at me as I glare back. A truck hauls hearts KV^U [OL YVHK KL]V\YZ ZOHKV^" X\PL[ @V\ NH]L TL H ZTHY[ Z\P[ MVY T` PU[LY]PL^" IYPLMJHZL ZOPU` MLL[ :R` PU ÄLY` ZOYLKZ UV^ I focus on a tiny pinhole opened in moot electric-red sky. I climb in [OYV\NO Z^LH[` ÄIYV\Z WHZZHNL [V /LSS 6US` `V\ JV\SK OH]L ZLU[ TL Only you with crushed rose petals in your mouth. +V\ISL KVVYZ" T` ZOVLZ JSHJR VU [OL ISHJR NVSK ÅLJRLK THYISL ÅVVY *VUMYVU[LK by three berry-stained faces. They ask me a series of complicated questions. I don’t know where they got the berries. ;OL` SPRLK ^OH[ 0 ZHPK HIV\[ ZV\S WHSZ` NSHTV\Y HUK [OL ÄYZ[ [PTL 0 THZ[\YIH[LK >OLU HZRLK HIV\[ `V\ 0 YLZWVUKLK ^P[O ZHK [LL[O Couldn’t concentrate on necessary square tile-counting. .V[ [OL QVI :V [OHURZ 0 PU[LYY\W[ SV]L THRPUN ^P[O WOVUL JHSSZ ,KP[ TLTVYPLZ" WHPU[ IHUHS ZR` PU IYVHK JO\UR` ZTLHYZ ZV UV YVTHU[PJZ SPUNLY ;O\YZKH`Z 0 JYHUR H ^OLLS that keeps time moving. -YPKH`Z WVJRL[Z ÄSS ^P[O ILYYPLZ )LYYPLZ JYHTTLK KV^U JO\[LZ 3PJRLK ÄUNLY[PWZ" NSVZZ`KHYR W\YWSLZ 0 JHU»[ LH[ [OLT MHZ[ LUV\NO
21
Khalym Kari Burke-Thomas Danaid
9VKPU 4HYISL
I\[ ZPZ[LY KPK P TLU[PVU they call you a slut? it’s gorgophone— she starts the rumors
OLYL P[»Z HSS WVSP[PJZ! last one to reach the bath’s a rotten egg
P»]L JVTL [V [LYTZ ^P[O P[ [OL ^OVSL [OPUN I\[ [OL NPYSZ they still blame dad
there are times i wish i had NV[[LU [V RUV^ VLUL\Z [OL ^H` `V\ KPK S`UJHL\Z gotten to love him
[VUPNO[ P JH[JO T`ZLSM HNHPU H[ SLHZ[ [OLYL»Z KLH[O P ZH` [OLU P YLTLTILY ZHKS` there is no death after this one
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Sarah Amundson Skins Kate told me Anna did it on purpose and Kate would know ILJH\ZL 2H[L»Z TVT 4YZ 7L[LYZVU PZ PU [OL ^VTLU»Z H\_PSPHY` ^P[O OLY NYHUKTV[OLY UV[ [V TLU[PVU [OL`»YL WYHJ[PJHSS` ULPNOIVYZ 0 ^VUKLYLK ^O` HU`VUL ZV WYL[[` ^V\SK KV [OH[ [V OLYZLSM [OV\NO ZOL Z[PSS ^HZ mostly. Even years after Anna had become some distant shade of my HKVSLZJLUJL 0»K ^VUKLY PM ZOL ^HZ JHWHISL VM KYP]PUN [OH[ JHY PU[V H [YLL on purpose and I’d admire her will for being able to do it. ;OL ÄYZ[ [PTL 0 ZH^ (UUH ^OLU 0 KPKU»[ RUV^ HIV\[ [OL I\YUZ 0 hated her for being so pretty. Anna could have been the kind of girl you WSH` OV\ZL ^P[O ^OV»Z ZV WYL[[` `V\ SL[ OLY WSH` ^PML Q\Z[ [V IL ULHY OLY ZV `V\ ^VU»[ \WZL[ OLY I\[ ^OV MVYNL[Z `V\ HU`^H` `LHYZ MYVT UV^ VY WYL[LUKZ ZOL KVLZ (UK ^OLU WHY[PUN OLY IV^LK SPWZ ^VYKZ KYPWWPUN \UJ[\V\Z I\[ PYYLZPZ[PISL ZOL HZRZ `V\ [V Z[H` Q\Z[ H SP[[SL IP[ SVUNLY `V\ do. Though you know she doesn’t need you. But that wasn’t my Anna. Kate and I stopped on the sidewalk across the street to watch her arrival; we were walking Kate’s dog so we weren’t being nosy. Her parents \USVHKLK OLY HUK ZL]LYHS VM OLY Z\P[JHZLZ MYVT H IPN ZPS]LY :<= :OL Z[VVK VU [OL ZPKL^HSR THRPUN UV JVUJLZZPVUZ [V^HYK OLY NYHUKTV[OLY»Z OV\ZL ;OL 1\UL OLH[ KPK P[Z ILZ[ [V IYLHR OLY I\[ ZOL ^V\SKU»[ L]LU roll the sleeves of her shirt. Kate and I stood for a second longer before she bent down to pick up after the dog. Hours passed but I couldn’t Z[VW [OPURPUN HIV\[ OLY HUK ÄUHSS` 0 HZRLK ¸>OH[ KPK `V\Y TVT [LSS `V\ about that new girl?” ¸:OL»Z VSKLY [OHU ^L HYL I\[ ZOL»Z NVPUN [V IL PU V\Y NYHKL PU [OL fall.” “Did she get held back?” ¸5V 0 KVU»[ [OPUR ZV 4` TVT ZHPK ZVTL[OPUN HIV\[ [OL hospital or rehab.” “Like for drugs?” “I don’t think so. I overheard my mom the other day and it ZV\UKLK TVYL SPRL [OLYHW` 0[ JV\SK OH]L ILLU MVY HU LH[PUN KPZVYKLY youknowlike Meghan.” “Oh. What’s her name again?” ¸(UUPL VY (UUH VY (UUL 0 JHU»[ YLTLTILY ¹
23
I was getting frustrated with Kate’s lack of information; “We ZOV\SK WYVIHIS` NV PU[YVK\JL V\YZLS]LZ ZPUJL ZOL»SS IL PU V\Y NYHKL ¹ 2H[L»Z L`LZ NSVZZLK \W HUK KV^U [OL THNHaPUL WHNL ¸:V\UKZ NVVK ¹ ZOL said without looking up. “Maybe we can make cookies or something?” 2H[L ÅPWWLK [OL WHNL ¸@LHO ¹ ZOL ZHPK HZ ZOL ILU[ H JVYULY KV^U ”maybe.” ;OL UL_[ KH` HZ 0 ^HSRLK PU 2H[L»Z TV[OLY Z[VVK H[ [OL IV[[VT VM [OL Z[HPYZ JHSSPUN \W [V 2H[L ¸0»K YLHSS` HWWYLJPH[L P[ PM `V\»K Q\Z[ NV V]LY there.” 0 JV\SK OLHY 2H[L»Z L_OHSH[PVU HSS [OL ^H` MYVT ^OLYL 0 Z[VVK ¸/P 4YZ 7L[LYZVU ¹ 0 ZHPK HZ 0 Y\ZOLK WHZZLK OLY ¸1LHUUPL ^HP[ H TPU\[L ¹ 4YZ 7L[LYZVU WSLHKLK 0 WH\ZLK VU [OL [OPYK step and faced her; “Try to convince Kate that the two of you should PU[YVK\JL `V\YZLS]LZ [V [OH[ UL^ NPYS WSLHZL&¹ ¸6RH` 4YZ 7 ¹ 0 ^HSRLK \WZ[HPYZ ¸2H[L `V\Y TVT PZ YPNO[ >L ZOV\SK NV ZLL [OH[ NPYS ¹ 0 ZHPK HUK OVWLK 4YZ 7L[LYZVU JV\SK Z[PSS OLHY me. 2H[L ZPNOLK ¸@LHO ^L JHU SLH]L PU H SP[[SL 3L[»Z ÄUK V\[ PM `V\»YL H ILH\[` YPZR [HRLY ¸ 0 ZH[ VU [OL LKNL VM [OL ILK ^OPSL 2H[L YLHK ¸>OLU `V\ NV V\[ VU [OL ^LLRLUKZ OV^ KV `V\ KV `V\Y THRL\W& ( <Z\HSS` MV\UKH[PVU THZJHYH HUK NSVZZ I\[ ZVTL[PTLZ 0 KV L`LSPULY HZ ^LSS ) 0[»Z HS^H`Z KPăLYLU[·IYPNO[ L`L ZOHKV^ VUL UPNO[ ZVM[ WPUR SPWZ HUK cheeks the next. or C) ChapStick and Bronzer?” 0 [OV\NO[ MVY H ZLJVUK 0 KPKU»[ L]LU V^U IYVUaLY ¹7YVIHIS` * ¹ ¸0»T WYVIHIS` HU ( ¹ ZOL ZHPK L_HTPUPUN OLY UHPSILKZ 0 SVVRLK H[ 2H[L HUK ^VUKLYLK PM [OH[ TLHU[ ZOL ^HZ H ILH\[` YPZR [HRLY 0 ^VUKLYLK PM [OL new girl would be a beauty risk taker too. (U OV\Y SH[LY ^L ^LU[ [V (UUH»Z OV\ZL HUK VăLYLK [V NP]L OLY H [V\Y VM [OL [V^U ¸@V\ TPNO[ ^HU[ [V JOHUNL P[»Z NVPUN [V IL SPRL ¹ Kate said looking Anna up and down. ¸;OH[»Z VRH` TVZ[ VM T` JSV[OLZ HYL Z[PSS WHJRLK ¹ (UUH HUZ^LYLK TPU\[LZ PU[V [OL ^HSR (UUH [PLK \W OLY [VăLL JVSVYLK OHPY PU H OPNO WVU`[HPS ;OH[»Z ^OLU 0 UV[PJLK [OL W\JRLYLK YLK ZRPU JYLLWPUN \W MYVT [OL ULJRSPUL VM OLY ZOPY[ 0 ZLHYJOLK OLY IVK` MVY TVYL I\[ (UUH ^HZ JHYLM\S 0 KVU»[ RUV^ ^OLU 2H[L UV[PJLK P[ I\[ ^OLU ^L [HSRLK HIV\[ P[ [OH[ UPNO[ YLHZZ\YHUJL ZS\UR PU[V 2H[L»Z ]VPJL ¸:OL»Z UV[ HZ Z[\JR \W HZ she looks.” ¸@LHO (UUH ZLLTZ WYL[[` JVVS ¹ 0 ZHPK L`LZ NS\LK [V [OL
24
[LSL]PZPVU UV[ SL[[PUN VU “Did you notice her neck?” ¸@LHO ¹ 0 Z^HSSV^LK HZOHTLK [OH[ 2H[L JV\SK IL ZV JHSSV\Z toward my Anna. “I heard she crashed into a tree.” “What happened?” ¸0 KVU»[ RUV^ I\[ 0 [OPUR P[ OHK ZVTL[OPUN [V KV ^P[O H MYPLUK her parents didn’t want her to see orsomething.” +LZWP[L [OL Y\TVYZ ^L ZH^ [OL ILZ[ PU (UUH :OL ^HZ and the coolest girl I’d ever met. She taught us about The Velvet <UKLYNYV\UK HUK JPNHYL[[LZ HUK OV^ [V ÄZO[HPS IYHPK V\Y OHPY 6]LY [OL UL_[ ML^ ^LLRZ [OL [OYLL VM \Z O\UN V\[ TVYL HUK TVYL HUK I` [OL MV\Y[O VM 1\S` ^L ^LYL PUZLWHYHISL >L TL[ PU [OL TVYUPUN H[ (UUH»Z 0 remember because she dressed me that day. I was wearing white shorts HUK H NYLLU ZOPY[ ]LY` \UWH[YPV[PJ (UUH Y\TTHNLK [OYV\NO OLY JSVZL[ HUK YL[\YUPUN LTW[` OHUKLK HUK KPZZH[PZÄLK VWLULK [OL [Y\UR H[ [OL MVV[ VM OLY ILK -PUHSS` ZOL W\SSLK V\[ H YLK OHS[LY [VW HUK [OY\Z[ P[ PU T` KPYLJ[PVU ¸/LYL `V\»SS SVVR NVVK PU [OPZ ¹ (UK 0 KPK (M[LY S\UJO ^L ^HSRLK [V [V^U UVUL VM \Z OHK V\Y SPJLUZLZ >L ZWLU[ TVZ[ KH`Z ^HSRPUN PU[V [V^U VY [V VUL VM [OL WHYRZ ^OLYL ^L»K OP[ H [LUUPZ IHSS IHJR HUK MVY[O UL]LY RLLWPUN ZJVYL HSS [OYLL VM \Z [V H ZPUNSL JV\Y[ 2H[L HUK 0 OHK ZWLU[ TVZ[ VM V\Y Z\TTLYZ H[ [OL WVVS I\[ (UUH OH[LK [OL WVVS HUK ^L SV]LK (UUH >L ^H[JOLK [OL ÄYLTLU YVWPUN Vă [OL WHYR HUK ZL[[PUN \W [OL ÄYL^VYRZ ;OLU ^L ^LU[ IHJR [V (UUH»Z MVY S\UJO HUK HM[LY 2H[L SLM[ \Z MVY H KLU[PZ[»Z HWWVPU[TLU[ -VY [OL ÄYZ[ [PTL ^L ^LYL HSVUL >L ZH[ PU [OL IHJR`HYK (UUH PU H ZOVY[ ZSLL]L ZOPY[ HUK ZOVY[Z TL PU (UUH»Z YLK [VW JYH]PUN [OL Z\U»Z RPZZLZ [V [\YU \Z PU[V OVUL` JVSVYLK SVSP[HZ § ;OL PJL JYLHT ZOVW ^HZ ULHYS` LTW[` L_JLW[ MVY H MH[OLY HUK OPZ two children and a few boys from the grade above us. >OPSL ^L Z[VVK PU SPUL 0 [\YULK [V (UUH ¸>L ZOV\SK NV ZLL H·¸ ¸/L` ^OH[»Z `V\Y UHTL&¹ ;OL [HSS ISVUK IV` HZRLK OLY HZ OL J\[ in front of me. ¸0»T ZVYY` `V\ Q\Z[ PU[LYY\W[LK T` MYPLUK ¹ ZOL HUZ^LYLK JVVSS` His friends snickered and she turned to face me again. “I asked you what your name is. I’m Tom.” ¸6RH` ;VT 0»T [Y`PUN [V OH]L H JVU]LYZH[PVU HUK `V\»YL ILPUN really rude.”
¸>LSS 0 HZRLK `V\ `V\Y UHTL HUK `V\»YL ILPUN YLHSS` Y\KL ¹ [OL IV` KLTHUKLK I\[ ZOL ^HZU»[ PU[LYLZ[LK HUK ZOL [\YULK OLY ZOV\SKLY toward him. That’s when he must have seen it. ¸>OH[ [OL M\JR PZ VU `V\Y ULJR& ¹ (UUH KPKU»[ ZH` H [OPUN ¸0[»Z VU `V\Y M\JRPUN HYT [VV ¹ /PZ L`LZ ZJHUULK [OL PTWLYMLJ[PVUZ VU [OL Z\YMHJL of her skin. She swallowed deeply and her eyes grew glossy. She tried [V PNUVYL OPT I\[ OL ^V\SKU»[ Z[VW Z[HYPUN 0 [YPLK [V [LSS OPT [V Z[VW I\[ UV[OPUN JHTL V\[ ¸@V\»YL H IP[JO ¹ OL ZHPK ÄUHSS` HUK [\YULK [V OPZ MYPLUKZ SH\NOPUN HUK THRPUN NLZ[\YLZ [V^HYKZ OPZ HYT HUK ULJR (UUH PUOHSLK ZOHYWS` HUK VYKLYLK KLÄHU[S` :OL [VVR OLY PJL JYLHT HUK SLM[" 0 followed her to the bench behind the shop. Anna closed her eyes and my world slowly disassembled. I ^HU[LK [V [LSS OLY ZOL ^HZ Z[PSS WYL[[` [OH[ OLY I\YUZ KPKU»[ TH[[LY [V TL 0 ^HU[LK [V THRL OLY Z[VW JY`PUN I\[ 0 KPKU»[ 0 Q\Z[ ZH[ [OLYL ^H[JOPUN [OL [LHYZ ^LSS HUK ZWPSS KV^U OLY JOLLRZ ZTVV[O HUK X\PJR SPRL YHPU KV^U H ^PUKV^ 0 SL[ OLY JY` HUK ÄUHSS` 0 NYHIILK OLY OHUK HUK ZHPK ¸;OH[ RPK»Z H M\JRPUN SLWLY KVU»[ SPZ[LU [V OPT ¹ :OL KPKU»[ Z[VW JY`PUN I\[ ZOL Z[HY[LK [V ZTPSL >L Z[HY[LK [V ^HSR IHJR Z[PSS OVSKPUN OHUKZ 0 KVU»[ YLTLTILY ^OV I\[ VUL VM \Z SL[ NV" I` [OL [PTL ^L YLHJOLK (UUH»Z we weren’t holding hands. § I sat at the edge of the bed in her pale green room. “Have you L]LY OHK H IV`MYPLUK 1LHUUPL&¹ 0 HKTP[[LK [OH[ 0 OHKU»[ [OH[ 0»K VUS` RPZZLK VUL VUJL SHZ[ 4HYJO VU H KHYL ¸/H]L `V\ L]LY RPZZLK H NPYS&¹ ZOL asked. I looked down and again admitted that I hadn’t. “Have you?” I ^HU[LK [V HZR I\[ JV\SKU»[ MVYT [OL ^VYKZ ¸1LHUUPL JHU 0 IYHPK `V\Y OHPY&¹ ¸7SLHZL ¹ 0 ZHPK NYH[LM\S MVY OLY PU[LYY\W[PVU :OL ILNHU [V [\N VU [OL Z[YHUKZ VM T` OHPY P[ O\Y[ H SP[[SL I\[ P[ ^HZ ^VY[O P[ :OL SLHULK PU 0 JV\SK MLLS OLY OV[ IYLH[O VU [OL IHJR VM T` ULJR ¸;HRL Vă `V\Y ZOPY[ ¹ ZOL ZHPK 0 KPK HUK ZOL TV]LK MHJPUN TL [V [OL LKNL VM [OL ILK Q\Z[ V\[ VM T` YLHJO ¸5V^ `V\Y IYH ¹ HUK 0 WLLSLK Vă [OL IYH embarrassed by the dents it left on my skin. I felt her eyes sinking into me HZ ZOL Z[YL[JOLK OLY OHUK MVY^HYK [YHJPUN [OL \UPU[LYY\W[LK ZRPU MYVT my hip to my rib. She moved closer and kissed my shoulder. I wanted her pretty and she wanted mine. ¸*SVZL `V\Y L`LZ ¹ ZOL ZHPK (UK 0 KPK -VY [OL SHZ[ [OYLL ^LLRZ 0 OHK JVUZ\TLK (UUH HUK 0 SL[ OLY M\YYV^
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WHZZLK T` SPWZ JOHWWLK MYVT [OL Z\TTLY Z\U KV^U T` LZVWOHN\Z [OL coagulated unfamiliar and the secrecy like a heap of tar stuck between my Z[VTHJO HUK T` S\UNZ [OH[ THKL P[ KPĄJ\S[ [V LH[ VY IYLH[OL VY ZWLHR We met alone ten times over the course of the next month. I even snuck H RPZZ PU [OL IHJR YV^ VM [OL TV]PL [OLH[YL (UUH KPKU»[ ZH` HU`[OPUN I\[ 0 JV\SK [LSS ZOL ^HZ \WZL[ 6UL KH` ^L ^LYL RPZZPUN PU [OL IHZLTLU[ when her grandmother came home. She panicked and made me leave V\[ [OL IHJR KVVY 0 [YPLK [V JHSS OLY SH[LY I\[ ZOL ^V\SKU»[ HUZ^LY HUK the next day Kate and I played a singles match. Four days passed before 0 ÄUHSS` ZH^ OLY ;OL [OYLL VM \Z ^LYL [VNL[OLY HNHPU I\[ 0 JV\SK OHYKS` ask her what was wrong with Kate around. When Kate slipped away to [OL IH[OYVVT 0 SVVRLK H[ (UUH ¸>OLYL»]L `V\ ILLU [OL SHZ[ ML^ KH`Z&¹ ¸4` NYHT ^HU[Z TL [V THRL V[OLY MYPLUKZ `V\ \UKLYZ[HUK YPNO[&¹ 4` MHJL ^HZ VU ÄYL HUK 0 PTHNPULK IVPSPUN KYVWSL[Z MYVT T` L`LZ JVUULJ[PUN TL [V (UUH WLYTHULU[S` V\Y ZRPU THYRPUN \Z HZ RPUKYLK ¸+VU»[ JY` 1LHUUPL ¹ ZOL YLHJOLK MVY^HYK HUK IY\ZOLK [OL OHPY V\[ VM T` MHJL ¸2H[L ^PSS IL IHJR HU` TPU\[L ¹ “Did I do something wrong?” I pleaded with her grey-green eyes. ¸5V 0 Q\Z[ JHU»[ IL MYPLUKZ SPRL [OH[ ¹ )LMVYL 0 JV\SK HZR OLY ^O` 2H[L ^HSRLK PU[V [OL YVVT VISP]PV\Z HUK ZLSM ZH[PZÄLK ¸(UUH ^V\SK `V\ French braid my hair?” she asked. Anna’s eyes searched mine for some JVUÄYTH[PVU VM ZPSLUJL :H[PZÄLK ZOL ^HSRLK [V 2H[L OLY [OPU ÄUNLYZ THRPUN [YHJRZ [OYV\NO 2H[L»Z [OPJR IYV^U ^H]LZ “Do you want to go see a movie tonight?” Kate said as she admired her YLÅLJ[PVU PU [OL TPYYVY 0 IYLH[OLK OLH]PS` ¸0 JHU»[ 0 [VSK T` TVT 0»K IL OVTL MVY KPUULY ¸ ¸6RH` ¹ 2H[L ZHPK ¸(UUH KV `V\ ^HU[ [V ZLL H TV]PL&¹ )\[ ILMVYL ZOL JV\SK IL[YH` TL 0 PU[LYY\W[LK ¸0 HJ[\HSS` ULLK [V NV home now. I forgot I told my mom I’d help her cook.” We exchanged a quick goodbye and I left. ;OH[ `LHY 2H[L KPKU»[ [Y` V\[ MVY [OL ÄLSK OVJRL` [LHT 0 UL]LY NV[ H JOHUJL [V HZR (UUH ^OH[ OHWWLULK [OV\NO VUJL H JV\WSL `LHYZ SH[LY ^OLU 0»K OLHYK ZOL»K ILLU ZLLU ^P[O ZVTL ZVWOVTVYL NPYS MYVT OLY :WHUPZO JSHZZ HUK [OH[ OLY NYHUKTV[OLY [VVR H^H` OLY JHY 0 [OV\NO[ 0 RUL^ [OL HUZ^LY 2H[L HUK 0 Z[PSS ZWVRL MYVT [PTL [V [PTL I\[ I` V\Y ZLUPVY `LHY ^L HJJLW[LK [OL KPZ[HUJL ,]LU[\HSS` ^L Z[VWWLK THRPUN excuses.
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Lauren Wells
The Politics of Lying
The graying man moans on the bench — he could never give me The People precisely what they wanted because he didn’t know a and he never will. I read about him while back — about his fancy speaking voice that awed audiences at the Royal Albert Hall and WHJRLK ZPKL Z[YLL[Z ^P[O [OL OVTLSLZZ ^HP[PUN I’ll to meet The Man Behind The Words. listen to him one day (far from now) as he spills his radio- speak for for you to believe and buy — sounds all me to battle as they slander my name (we are W\aaSLZ ^P[O TPZZPUN WPLJLZ ^L»SS UL]LY ÄUK of toss them aside) for the sake us. protecting
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W.B. Zale
Whimper
(with apologies to Mr. Ginsberg)
I saw some of the more reasonably intelligent minds of my generation MHPS [V YPZL [V [OLPY M\SS WV[LU[PHS ^OV L_[LUKLK WHZ[ L_[LUZPVUZ SPUNLYPUN [VV SVUN V]LY KYLHKLK PUJVTWSL[LZ ^OV ^LU[ IYVRL WH`PUN MVY [^V KVSSHY ^LSS KYPURZ HUK [^LU[` IHNZ ^OV ZWLU[ ^LLRZ Z\U KY\UR HM[LY SVUN ^PU[LYZ VY Q\Z[ KY\UR 0 ^HZ WHY[` [V [OL JHZ\HS YHJPZT HUK LHZ` TPZVN`U` VM ^OP[L THSL WYP]PSLNL ^OV ^LU[ VU KY\URLU LIH` IPUNLZ [OH[ KYHPULK IHUR HJJV\U[Z ^OV ZOP[ [OLTZLS]LZ PU [OL ZOV^LY X\P[L VU HJJPKLU[ ^OV OHK TVTLU[HY` ÅHZOLZ VM JVU]LYZH[PVUHS NLUP\Z ZVVU MVYNV[[LU ^OV KL]V[LK [OLTZLS]LZ [V PYVU` [OL L]LY WYLZLU[ HUK UL]LY ZHPK ¸NL[ P[¹& ^OV Z[\TISLK KV^U Z[YLL[Z [VNL[OLY WYVTPZPUN ^OH[ JV\SK UL]LY IL RLW[ ^OV ZWLU[ ZSV^ TVYUPUNZ YLJHSSPUN OHa` L]LUPUNZ ZO\KKLYPUN PU Z\KKLU YLHSPaH[PVUZ ^OV KLUPNYH[LK HUK PKVSPaLK ^VTLU UL]LY ÄUKPUN [OL TPKKSL NYV\UK ^OV SLHYULK [V KYPUR Z^VYL [V UL]LY KYPUR HNHPU HUK JHSSLK MYVT QHPS ^OV YLJLP]LK KPWSVTHZ HUK ^LU[ Vă PU[V [OL ^VYSK ZHKKSLK ^P[O KLI[ HUK H MHSZL ZLUZL VM LU[P[SLTLU[
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Tallarie Thurgood Naked
Duct tape decorates the bare walls (cracks and indentations) of the room. ;YPIHS THYRPUNZ making me feel unsafe. I want to take my things and leave. (like the ant crawling through the door crack) I leave with that ant— but my body stays put.
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Nicholas Altmann
0 HT WYL[[` PU HJ[\HSS` PU T` V^U skin. I’ma thinkin’ no sleep no school it’s [OLYL UV^ [VV [PYLK [V ZSLLW two too tired fools
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Lauren Wells A Diner on West Fourth Street
Muddy words drip from your lips—and all I hear is the distinct sound of change passing hands.
3`KPH PZ V\Y ^HP[YLZZ and she thinks like you do— she thinks PM ZOL RLLWZ ZTPSPUN HUK [HSRPUN people will like her— that she’ll end up married with two well-behaved children and a dog. VU [OL KPULY JV\U[LY[VW you rearrange change (like you do with our bedroom furniture) methodically and without prompting – muttering: 0 KVU»[ OH]L LUV\NO KPTLZ HUK UPJRLSZ [V THRL H OLHY[ so I’ll just make a circle instead.
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Kiara Ocasio Bloodline
@V\UN L_OH\Z[LK MLL[ Y\U VU H OV[ 1\UL L]LUPUN The black sky engulfs her. She wants [V IL [HRLU H^H` SPM[LK MYVT [OPZ ^VYSK 5V she just wants it to end. Only no one knows. Knows about the hands that OH\U[ OLY KYLHTZ ;OL YV\NO Y\NNLK OHUKZ that haunt her reality. The hands with blood like her own. Hands that resemble ones attached to her pumping arms. Fingers scream lies of love and comfort. Finger-tips play gentle as they ^HUKLY KLLW KHYR ]HSSL`Z VM OLY ILPUN ;LHYZ VM TLTVY` L_WSVKL VU [OL KHYR JVUJYL[L pavement. They pursue her. Infant now clear to realities of this world. Shattered trust. Pierced heart. Her feet. (YL HSS ZOL OHZ SLM[ -VY UV^ ZOL Y\UZ until the memories stop chasing her. And this stranger returns the one she loved.
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Tallarie Thurgood Full Moon
Kick back the chair friend. Lead me to the hell that I enjoy. Don’t pretend you don’t want to come with me. Tonight marks the night my wolf howls at the idea that this is for you.
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Sarah Amundson Hear the House
I want to peel you like a poem and discover the city
`V\ ^LYL IVYU PU I\[ MVYNV[ P[Z PTWVZZPISL to map) my want to excavate until you’re no longer H ^VTHU VY H THU I\[ H KVSS KYLZZLK in corduroy with buttoneyes & no ears (so I can whisper vulgar little nothings and they will be). I will drop you behind a radiator and think you
forgot to come home. So sitting VU [OL [VW VM [OL Z[HPYZ in my origami orange peel crown I hear the hissing and listen but forgot I didn’t birth you with a mouth
Erin Parker
For Georgia O’Keefe
Lilywater swallows the silhouette of feminine darkness. Her morphine mouth fades the blue green waves of good bed without calling.
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Katy Wolfe
An End
I will chew through your breasts to get to your ribs. ;OLU 0»SS Z\JRSL the meat from your bones and throw them to your dog. 0»SS [O^HY[ T` ÄZ[ into what’s left of you to stop your quick-paced thump-thump-thump.
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Kate Cottrell Waiting Games
A pain scale is posted on the wall. Cartoon emotions hovering HIV]L H U\TILY YHUNL one to ten for simplicity. ;OL KVJ[VY KYVWZ PU ^P[O OVVKLK L`LZ deep and disconnected. A few foreign words before the hopeful OHUKZOHRL ¸<U[PS [VTVYYV^ ¹ ( U\YZL I\Z[SLZ PU [V JOLJR [OL 0= IHNZ ZOPM[ H WPSSV^ VY [^V ( ZHK ZTPSL HUK “Do you have any questions?” Even though nothing has changed since yesterday.
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Nancy Amestoy Sunday
The New York Times Magazine summarized the year so I read it because it’s here and so am I and we both had a busy year and it will tell me what I missed HUK SVVR [OLYL»Z H WPLJL HIV\[ [OL LHY[OX\HRL PU /HP[P which of course I remember but not like this the man in the story is a mayor and a father and he braces himself in a doorway and lives then walks 3 hours to the school but the shifting and the tectonic plates leveled it and he won’t see his daughters’ bodies for months
and I wonder if that’s better or worse than the family who came to say goodbye to their son trapped in rubble wasting away just wanting to die then a line Q\TWZ Vă [OL WHNL HUK 0 JPYJSL P[ PU ISHJR PUR· “Grief is a road to which you know the end.” Maybe the Times is right but I bet if you asked the people in those photographs they’d agree with what I misheard a kid once say on a bus and grief is really “a grenade in your soul.”
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Kevin Bates Suburban Morning ;OL IV` ^HZ ÄUHSS` NL[[PUN SHPK Her hands on his neck reminded him of his mom’s. The tag inside the IHJR VM OPZ ZOPY[ [^PYSLK [OYV\NO 4LNOHU»Z ÄUNLYZ SPRL ZPSR 4VT OHK [\JRLK [OL [HN PU ILMVYL OL SLM[ :OL ZHPK ¸5LSZVU [OL ZOPY[ PZ OH]PUN P[Z problem again. You want to look sharp for all the cute girls at this party.” “Mom it’s not a party. It’s just friends hanging out. I’ll be home PU SPRL OV\YZ ¹ OL OHK ZHPK OV\YZ HNV 4VT ^V\SK UV[ IL OHWW` /L was missing church. He knew Meghan was still drunk but he was too. They had been talking alone since 1:30. She had left her boyfriend a bunch of voicemails but he never called her back. Nelson probably had a couple voicemails VU OPZ WOVUL [VV /L OHKU»[ JOLJRLK /L YLHJOLK PU[V OPZ WVJRL[ HNHPU HUK JVUÄYTLK [OH[ OL OHK OPZ Trojan. Its blue packaging was getting wrinkled. ;OL` OHK UV[ ZWVRLU KPYLJ[S` HIV\[ M\JRPUN VY L]LU ZHPK [OL ^VYK ILMVYL [OLU I\[ [OL NPNNSPUN ]PIYHUJL 4LNOHU IYV\NO[ [V JVU]LYZH[PVU OHK gotten Nelson’s hopes up. ¸0 KV UV[ ÅPY[ ^P[O 4Y /HYWLY PU *HSJ¹ ZOL ZHPK SH\NOPUN ¸HS[OV\NO I’ve seen you go for extra help a couple times. Maybe you’re earning that Valedictorian GPA by any means necessary.” ¸0 KVU»[ ULLK HU` TVYL YLHZVUZ [V Y\U MYVT [OH[ JSHZZ ¹ OL ZHPK 4LNOHU ZJY\UJOLK \W OLY L`LZ HUK TV]LK OLY ÄUNLY \W [OL MYVU[ VM OLY UVZL HZ PM P[ ^HZ SPM[PUN 4Y /HYWLY»Z [OPJR NSHZZLZ ¸4Y >LH[OLYILL T` VĄJL HM[LY JSHZZ MVY ZVTL L_[YH Z[\K` [PTL 6O NYHWO T` M\UJ[PVU )YPUN TL [V [OL TH_PTH ¹ :OL ^YP[OLK JVTPJHSS` HSS ^OPSL RLLWPUN [OL MHRL NSHZZLZ OLSK \W ^P[O OLY ÄUNLY 5LSZVU SH\NOLK SV\KS` HUK YLZL[[SLK himself very close to her on the couch. Meghan laughed too. :OL ^HZ ^LHYPUN WHQHTHZ ZOVY[Z [VV ZOVY[ [V NV V\[ PU HUK H [HUR [VW ;OL JV\JO ^OPULK HZ OLY [OPU ZOV\SKLYZ SLHULK IHJR HUK MYVT OLY [\N H[ [OL ZJY\ă VM OPZ ULJR 5LSZVU MVSSV^LK OLY KV^U ¸0 SPRL `V\ ¹ ZOL ZHPK HIY\W[S` ZTPSPUN 0[ UHYYV^LK OLY L`LZ HUK ZOL ZLLTLK [V 5LSZVU [V [Y\Z[ OPT JVTWSL[LS` 0UZ[HU[S` ZOL ILNHU [V
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SPNO[ \W HU PUKPZ[PUJ[ NSV^PUN PU OLY JOLLRZ NL[[PUN Z[YVUNLY HZ ZOL OLSK him closer to her. It was all too real. 5LSZVU ILNHU ¸0 ¹ ¸:OP[ ¹ ZOL ZHPK He turned his head and saw the glow of headlights shining through the window behind him onto both of their surprised faces. The JV\JO TVHULK HUK ZX\LHRLK HZ [OL` Q\TWLK Vă HUK [OL ÅVVYIVHYKZ N\ăH^LK ^P[O [OL IV\UKPUN Z[LWZ [OL` [VVR PU[V [OL OHSS^H` ¸0»T ZV KLHK ;OH[»Z T` 4VT ¹ ZOL ZHPK “We cleaned up and took out the trash two hours ago and L]LY`VUL OHZ SLM[ ¹ OL ZHPK ¸-\JR ¹ OL HKKLK Z`TWH[OL[PJHSS` I\[ HSZV HZ H personal recognition of his carnal loss. 5LSZVU OHK RUV^U +LYYPJR 4LNOHU»Z IV`MYPLUK ZPUJL [OL` ^LYL PU ÄYZ[ NYHKL /L OHK HS^H`Z ILLU H UPJL Z^LL[ RPK \U[PS [OL ÄYZ[ KH` VM MYLZOTHU `LHY ^OPJO [YHUZMVYTLK OPT PU[V [OL NYLH[LZ[ VM HSS KV\JOLIHNZ /L ^HZ HYYVNHU[ LU[P[SLK WYL[LU[PV\Z HUK ^VYZ[ VM HSS he was really good at school and sports. In the months old history of Nelson’s crush on Meghan he had many times contemplated any way that he could prove himself better than Derrick and never come up with one. ¸0»SS ZULHR V\[ ¹ OL ZHPK Meghan nodded but they didn’t move. The car door outside [O\KKLK ZO\[ HUK Z[PSS OL TV]LK ZSV^S` KV^U [OL Z[HPYZ ^HP[PUN MVY 4LNOHU [V [HRL [OL SLHK I\[ ZOL MVSSV^LK OPT ;OL MYVU[ KVVY VWLULK Nelson ran to the linen closet and leaned inside. He started closing the door slowly to avoid noise. ¸>HP[ ¹ ZOL ZHPK JHSSPUN HM[LY OPT ¸`V\ ¹ “Meghan? Honey are you up?” called a low course female voice from the front hall. 5LSZVU ÄUPZOLK JSVZPUN [OL JSVZL[ ¸@LZ 4VT 6I]PV\ZS` 0»T H^HRL ¹ /LY ]VPJL ^HZ ÄSSLK ^P[O adolescent malice. ¸.VVK ^L ULLK [V NL[ `V\ YLHK` *VTL VU ¹ /L OLHYK Z[LWZ NV by his closet into the bathroom. ¸9LHK`&¹ 4LNOHU HZRLK “Yeah. You know your sister and I were planning on staying H^H` [OPZ ^LLRLUK I\[ ¹ Nelson opened the closet carefully. He slipped out and ran as fast as silent feet could carry him towards the door. He could hear noises ILOPUK OPT I\[ OL ^HZ NVPUN [V Y\U MVY P[ LP[OLY ^H` He reached the front door and jumped back just as it opened.
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(U LSKLYS` JV\WSL Z[LWWLK PU[V [OL OV\ZL T\YT\YPUN ¸>LSS ^LSS ^LSS Here we are.” ;OL VSK ^VTHU SVVRLK H[ OPT HUK ZHPK ¸@V\ T\Z[ IL +LYYPJR 4LNOHU has told us all about you.” Meghan walked out of the back with a short girl with dark OHPY HUK HU PTWPZO ZTPSL HUK OLY 4VT ^OV ^HZ ZH`PUN ¸>L»YL NVPUN ILJH\ZL 0 JHYL HIV\[ W\[[PUN V\Y ILZ[ MVV[ MVY^HYK ^OLU VO /LSSV 0 didn’t hear you come in.” Her pleasant tone was cut short as her eyes ^PKLULK SVVRPUN H[ 5LSZVU PU ZOVJR /L SVVRLK MYVT 4LNOHU [V OLY TV[OLY HUK [OLU [V [OL V[OLY NPYS ^OV SVVRLK [V IL HIV\[ [LU HUK ^HZ [OL VUS` WLYZVU ^OV KPKU»[ ZLLT [OH[ Z\YWYPZLK :[\WPÄLK ZOVJR ÄSSLK Meghan’s wide olive eyes. ¸>LSS `LZ ¹ ILNHU [OL NYHUKTV[OLY ¸+LYYPJR ^HZ Q\Z[ SL[[PUN \Z in.” Meghan’s Mom had the corner of her long purple shirt balled up PU OLY ÄZ[ ¸>OV HYL ` ¹ ILNHU [OL NPYS ^OV ^HZ ZPSLUJLK I` H W\UJO [V the shin from Meghan. ¸)L X\PL[ 1\SPH ¹ ^OPZWLYLK 4LNOHU ¸0[»Z ZV UPJL [V ÄUHSS` TLL[ `V\ IV[O ¹ 5LSZVU ZHPK [V [OL .YHUKWHYLU[Z ZTPSPUN ^LHRS` (U \ULHZ` ZPSLUJL MVSSV^LK ( ^OP[L ILH[ \W => )\N PKSLK PU [OL KYP]L^H` 4LNOHU»Z .YHUKTH ^HZ ^LHYPUN H IS\L KYLZZ HUK H ^OP[L hat with dots on it. Grandpa looked at his watch. His dark tweed suit JYLHRLK SPRL ÅVVYIVHYKZ HZ OL TV]LK /PZ IV^[PL OVWWLK HZ OL JSLHYLK his throat. He opened his mouth but Meghan’s grandmother began to ZWLHR (Z ZOL [HSRLK OPZ TV\[O JSVZLK HUK [OLU OPZ JOPU NY\TISLK IHJR HUK MVY[O JOL^PUN \W ^OH[L]LY OL OHK ILLU HIV\[ [V ZH` ¸:OHSS ^L NV [OLU& 0[ PZ HSTVZ[ ! ¹ ZHPK .YHUKTH ¸.P]L 4LNOHU H TPU\[L [V NL[ YLHK` ¹ ZHPK 4LNOHU»Z 4VT Nelson turned and Meghan was gone. The sweat under his dress shirt was clinging to him and he kept his arms pinned at his sides. “I’ll go help OLY ¹ 4LNOHU»Z 4VT ZHPK ÅHZOPUN HU HUNY` NSHUJL H[ 5LSZVU ¸:[LWOHUPL ¹ JHSSLK [OL .YHUKTH ¸>L»SS IL KV^U PU H TPU\[L ¹ 4LNOHU»Z 4VT YLWSPLK exasperation clear in her voice. ;OL .YHUKWHYLU[Z 1\SPH HUK 5LSZVU Z[VVK PU [OL MYVU[ OHSS ¸,_J\ZL TL MVY TPU\[L +LYYPJR ¹ ZHPK 1\SPH NYPUUPUN KL]PSPZOS` :OL trotted away and Nelson turned back to the Grandparents. Grandpa JOLJRLK OPZ ^H[JO HNHPU HUK JYLHRLK ZSPNO[S` /PZ IV^ [PL IVIILK once more as he cleared his throat and this time he cut into his wife’s interruption to create two sudden threads of conversation.
42
¸:V +LYYPJR KV `V\ SPRL ¹ ¸;OL [YHĄJ [OPZ TVYUPUN ^HZ UPJL ¹ ¸JVTW\[LYZ& [OL` JHU»[ ZLLT [V ÄUK ¹ “and quiet. I guess it pays-” “one simple enough for me-” ¸[V NL[ \W LHYS` UV^ HUK HNHPU ¹ ¸[V THRL OLHKZ VY [HPSZ VM I\[ 0»T Z\YL `V\ T\Z[ SV]L [OLT ¹ ¸0»T Z\YL [OL [YHĄJ T\Z[ OH]L ILLU UPJL [OPZ LHYS` ¹ ZHPK 5LSZVU “and I’m not much for computers.” ¸6O YLHSS`&¹ ZHPK [OL .YHUKTH ¸0[ ^HZ ¹ ZHPK [OL .YHUKWH ¸0 [OV\NO[ `V\Y MH[OLY ^VYRLK ^P[O JVTW\[LYZ ¹ ZHPK [OL Grandma appearing equally suspicious and fascinated by his response. ¸>LSS OL KVLZ ¹ ZHPK 5LSZVU HNHPU JVUZJPV\Z VM [Y`PUN UV[ [V Z^LH[ ¸0 N\LZZ P[ ZRPWZ H NLULYH[PVU ¹ ¸3PRL ^HY[Z ¹ HNYLLK [OL .YHUKWH ¸/LUY` ¹ ZHPK [OL .YHUKTH KPZHWWYV]PUNS` /PZ IV^[PL SPM[LK \W HUK KV^U [^PJL I\[ OL JOL^LK \W ^OH[L]LY OL OHK to say and looked at his watch again. Meghan came down the stairs wearing a bright yellow dress. Before that TVTLU[ P[ OHK Z[PSS MLS[ SPRL [OL UPNO[ ILMVYL [V 5LSZVU ¸6O T` ¹ ZHPK .YHUKTH OVSKPUN [OL SHZ[ ]V^LS ¸5V^ ^L HYL ready.” ¸>LSS UV[ X\P[L ¹ :[LWOHUPL ZHPK ¸+LYYPJR ^HZU»[ MLLSPUN [VV ^LSS I should probably run him home and meet up with you all in a minute.” ¸6O T` ¹ ZHPK .YHUKTH HNHPU ¸0Z [OH[ ZV& (UK 0 ^HZ ZV SVVRPUN forward to getting to see the beautiful couple together. But I’m sure I’ll OH]L WSLU[` TVYL JOHUJLZ ¹ ZOL SH\NOLK H OHWW` PU^HYK SH\NO 5LSZVU SVVRLK MYVT OLY ZTPSPUN MHJL [V /LUY`»Z ZJY\UJOLK VUL OV]LYPUN V]LY OPZ ^H[JO HUK ÄUHSS` IHJR [V 4LNOHU PU OLY ILH\[PM\S KYLZZ SVVRPUN down at her feet. ¸(J[\HSS` :[LWOHUPL 0»T MLLSPUN X\P[L H IP[ IL[[LY @V\ KVU»[ ULLK [V KV [OH[ ¹ OL ZHPK ^P[O TLHZ\YLK MYPLUKSPULZZ ;OL` L_JOHUNLK H look that Nelson desperately wished could have been a conversation. He ^PZOLK OL JV\SK [LSS OLY OV^ T\JO OL SPRLK OLY KH\NO[LY OV^ M\UU` HUK UPJL OL ^V\SK IL MVY [OPZ VUL UPJL IYLHRMHZ[ HUK OV^ IHKS` OL ^HU[LK [V stay and be a part of their family for just an hour or two. )\[ L]LU [OL SVVR ^HZ J\[ ZOVY[ I` .YHUKTH ZH`PUN ¸6O ^LSS ^L»SS [HRL the lovebirds then and meet you and Julia there.” She opened the door HUK SLM[ MVSSV^LK I` /LUY` HUK UL_[ I` 5LSZVU ^OV ^HP[LK ^P[O OPZ OHUK V\[ I\[ 4LNOHU KPKU»[ [HRL P[
43
:OL ^HSRLK YPNO[ I` OPT X\PJRS` HUK ZHPK PUJYLK\SV\ZS` ¸>O` didn’t you go?” ¸0 Q\Z[ 0 [OV\NO[ 0 ^HZ THRPUN H NVVK PTWYLZZPVU (UK ^LSS 0 ^HU[LK [V IL H WHY[ VM `V\Y MHTPS` 0»T ZVYY` 0 RUV^ `V\ KVU»[ MLLS SPRL that about-” ¸5LSZVU `V\ JHU»[ WYL[LUK [V IL H WHY[ VM T` MHTPS` ^L HYL NVPUN [V JO\YJO ¹ ZOL ZHPK /L MLS[ [OL OLH[ Y\ZO V]LY OPZ IVK` HUK NH]L \W VU not sweating. 5LSZVU ILU[ KV^U [V Ä[ OPZ MYHTL [OYV\NO [OL KVVY VM [OL KPTPU\[P]L ]LOPJSL (Z OL ZH[ PU [OL IHJR OL YLHJOLK PU[V OPZ WVJRL[ HUK MV\UK [OH[ the Trojan was no longer there. He started to stand back up but the Grandmother was already closing the door behind Meghan. He looked in horror at Julia skipping down the driveway towards her mother’s SUV. Meghan sat down next to him. He turned his panicked face to her calm one. She seemed to even be suppressing a smile. The folds of yellow lay on her tan legs. ¸>OH[L]LY OHWWLUZ 0 KV MLLS [OH[ ^H` HIV\[ `V\ ¹ ZOL ^OPZWLYLK PU OPZ LHY HUK [OLU ZSPK [OL JVUKVT IHJR PU[V OPZ WVJRL[ He buckled his seat belt and watched the houses pass.
44
Evan Phail
(No) Pun Intended
To those I loved But could not satisfy If you had waited You would see I have grown since then
Timothy H. Carter
Henry Bugsworth III
I
/LUY` )\NZ^VY[O 000 ^HS[aPUN in his plump white tuxedo. Depressed (\U[ 4LYLKP[O [OL ,NNWSHU[ ZP[[PUN HSVUL at a table. Her drooped suitorless eyes. ,SLNHU[ WLVWSL WPNLVUZ W\YWSLNYLLU ZOLLULK WLJRPUN H[ [OLPY NVZZPW Identical waiters cummerbunding around with hors d’oeurves. Aforementioned foods crammed politely into mouth-holes. 3P[[SL 0UNYPK Vă I` [OL OLKNLZ HKTPYPUN [OL OLT VM OLY ZRPY[ ^OPJO ^HZ ^OP[L HUK UV^ PZ IYV^U :PY >HS[LY ^LHYPUN NVSK WLYZWPYPUN L]LY`^OLYL MVY 0UNYPK»Z ZPZ[LY ^OVT OL»SS THYY` PU HU OV\Y just after the violinists arrive.
46
II
/L OHZ H KVaLU KPăLYLU[ KYLHTZ H UPNO[ Always with a cross hanging in the sky and a horribly impending sunset. In some dreams naked children dance and throw themselves heavenward. Chains VM YVZLZ ºYV\UK [OLPY OPWZ HUK ZOV\SKLYZ ;Y\TWL[Z blooming from the earth. A giant hand creeps over the horizon. A red ribbon in Henry Bugsworth’s WVJRL[ /PZ [OYVH[ H YLK YPIIVU )\NZ^VY[O KPWWPUN through a waltz with his cousin. Children laughing ^P[O ÄZ[Z VM ÅV^LYZ ( JPYJ\SHY [\UL H YLLSPUN ZPJRULZZ the sinister taste of the violinist. Garlands on the gazebo. The sun about to set in English country. )SHJR ÄUNLYZ Z[LHS V]LY [OL OVYPaVU
47
Sarah Amundson Conduct Unbecoming A Postal Worker :[YPWWPUN [V `V\Y ZRP]]PLZ PU [OL JLU[LY VM [OL Z[YLL[ ^LSS [OL \S KL ZHJ I\[ P[ ^HZ Z[PSS PUKLJLU[
2. That time in Tulsa when you did you-know-what with you-know^OV K\YPUN `V\ RUV^ ^OLU (UK [Y\Z[ TL `V\Y TV[OLY ^V\SK Z[PSS KPZHWWYV]L L]LU PU SPNO[ VM [OH[ [PTL PU :HS[ 3HRL *P[` ^OPJO ZOL MV\UK V\[ HIV\[ VUS` YLJLU[S` [OPZ ;OHURZNP]PUN HUK ^OPJO I’m still sorry I let slip.
7\ISPJ \YPUH[PVU VU [OL WVZ[ VÄ„JL LZWLJPHSS` H[ UPNO[ LZWLJPHSS` VU H MLKLYHS OVSPKH` L]LU ^OLU UV VUL PZ ^H[JOPUN :RPWWPUN OHSM `V\Y YV\[L [V ZWLUK [OL KH` ZHPSPUN VU [OL IH` HUK “delegatingâ€? to a middle-schooler for $3.00/hr; leaving mail unde livered until 9 o’clock at night. ;OH[ ]PKLV 0 MV\UK VU [OL PU[LYUL[ I` ZLHYJOPUN! `V\Y UHTL IPRPUP KHUJPUN NPYHăL *OLH[PUN VU `V\Y KYP]LYÂťZ [LZ[ [OV\NO `V\Y [H_LZ HYL PTTHJ\SH[L 0TWLYZVUH[PUN `V\Y Z\WLYPVY [V NL[ MYLL JVăLL MYVT [OL SVJHS 4J+VUHSKÂťZ ;OL KYLZZ ^HZ \UĂ…H[[LYPUN HZ `V\ YLHSS` KVUÂť[ OH]L [OL Ă„N\YL MVY [OH[ ZOHWL HUK [OL ^PN SVVRLK YPKPJ\SV\Z¡`V\ÂťYL much too olive for a redhead.
48
Nicholas Altmann
charging elephants fake their big blue broken beaks to look elephant
49
Samantha McKenna Golden Frost 0 HT Ă„NO[PUN JYVZZ SLNNLK KPYLJ[S` \UKLYULH[O [OL NSPZ[LUPUN synthetic gold chandelier. In my lap an ice cold can of Milwaukee’s Beast bitterly balances the silent screams crossing the room. Through the YLĂ…LJ[PVU VM H PUJO Ă…H[ ZJYLLU HUK IL[^LLU ILHTZ VM [^V I` MV\YÂťZ [OH[ Z\WWVY[ [OL OV\ZL ZP[Z 7OPSPW ,]LY`VUL JHSSZ OPT Âş7OPS Âť L_JLW[ TL HUK [OL past lover that creeps into his dreams. Tonight Phillip wears a Lions light blue and black t-shirt with ^VYU V\[ MYPUNLZ H Ă„[[LK OH[ ^P[O H ZPSS` KHYR IS\L MV\Y SLHM JSV]LY HS^H`Z sleeping crooked atop his head. And a silver ring. Philip plays with this YPUN OPZ WYLJPV\Z SPRL H ULY]V\Z OHIP[ (S^H`Z [HRPUN P[ Vă HUK YVSSPUN P[ \W HUK KV^U OPZ Ă„UNLYZ \U[PS OL WSHJLZ P[ IHJR VU [OL ^YVUN Ă„UNLY HUK comes for me. Scratching his left nostril (which I’ve learned means he is in the past with a nameless woman) a dragon emerges hungry for the touch VM H SV]LY 0 Ă„UNLY [OL JYPZZJYVZZLK NLU[SL S\YL VM T` H\I\YU Z[YHUKZ OL watches. ¸0 JHU UL]LY IL OLY š 0 ^OPZWLY SV\K LUV\NO MVY OPZ LHYZ ¸0 RUV^ [OH[ =PJR` š /L NYV^SZ ^OPSL Z[HSRPUN [OL YVVT V]LY [OL \UĂ„UPZOLK ^VVKLU Ă…VVY IVHYKZ [V^HYKZ TL /PZ NYHZW Z[HUKZ TL \W SPRL H ZVSKPLY WYLWHYPUN MVY IH[[SL 0UZ[LHK 0 ^YHW T`ZLSM ^P[O T` TL[HSSPJ armor into his uncomforting form. “Can’t we get through one evening without this shit? You know I still have things I need to work through. We can’t be more than just friends now.â€? ¸0 KVUÂť[ RUV^ HU`[OPUN UV[ L]LU OLY UHTL MVY JY`PUN V\[ SV\K It’s been months.â€? I wish I had screamed. A few glistening tears shed from my eyes. The dragon stands back up for a few last staggering lunges. 7OPSSPW Z[HY[Z RP[[LURPZZPUN T` ULJR SPRL OL KPK [OL Ă„YZ[ UPNO[ ^L ZSLW[ [VNL[OLY 0[ MLLSZ SPRL LJZ[HZ` I\[ OPZ ZJHSLZ HYL YV\NO HUK Ă„YT UV^ 0 TV]L T` ZOPLSK [V ISVJR OPZ HăLJ[PVU 7OPSSPWÂťZ SPWZ ZV\Y OPZ Ă„YL IYLH[O ILSSV^Z MVY T` JVVWLYH[PVU 0 JHUUV[ IL H[ WLHJL ^P[O JVUĂ…PJ[PUN ]VPJLZ tearing him back to her. He follows the whip of my strands toward the kitchen. I lean
against the dusty table covered with handheld power tools used for YLTVKLSPUN 0 `HUR OPZ ILS[ Vă HUK SVVZLU OPZ QLHUZ :SPKL IHJR [V [OL normal positions. He likes to be called “daddy” and tug at my pigtails. We laugh a lot during sex; funny wet noises that echo in the halfÄUPZOLK LTW[PLK OV\ZL ;^V Å\ă` O\ZR`»Z ^H[JO PU H KHaL" 0 MLLS SPRL HU exhibitionist. His phone starts to ring. He doesn’t stop thrusting scales to JOLJR [OL JHSSLY 0+ ( UHTL¯ Liz “That your ex you’re ignoring?” “Only a friend.” Phil says while scratching his left nostril.
2011
Katy Wolfe Sarah Amundson Bevin O’Connor Timothy H. Carter Nicholas Altmann W. B. Zale Matthew Church Kevin Bates Edward Lee
HOBART & WILLIAM SMITH COLLEGS
Khalym Kari Burke-Thomas
Laura Berkey Nancy Amestoy Lauren Wells Kiara Ocasio Erin Parker Kate Cottrell Samantha McKenna
LITERARY MAGAZINE
Tallarie Thurgood
THEL
Brian Burbank
T H E L
2011