For my daughters, who asked for a dream at bedtime and gave me back a bigger one than I couldāve ever imagined. āT. T.
Sometimes in life, forgiving yourself is the hardest part. āGreta Gildersleeve.
![]()
For my daughters, who asked for a dream at bedtime and gave me back a bigger one than I couldāve ever imagined. āT. T.
Sometimes in life, forgiving yourself is the hardest part. āGreta Gildersleeve.
CLARA WATCHED from her plastic lawn chair as the news vans sped below. There were more nowāfifteen by her countājockeying for position among the flashing lights and blaring sirens of an endless string of police cars. She had been in the air for over six hours, long enough for every news outlet within a hundred miles to scramble a team of reporters, locate her, and join the hunt. Finding her hadnāt been difficult. After all, how many twelve-year-old girls were hurtling through the skies of Michigan in a plastic lawn chair tied to hundreds of colorful balloons?
Clara closed her eyes as the wind whipped her face. She felt more herself. At least more than she had in the year since the accident, before she became the girl her father had always wanted her to beāthe safe version of Clara Poole.
Still, as freeing as the heights were, she knew it was only a matter of time until sheād have to land. Soon the pinks and purples of the evening sky would be replaced with the black of night. She would reach the coast, and then once over Lake Michigan, things would turn very serious, very quickly.
A symphony of honks blared from the convoy below as another van swerved to the head of the pack. But this vehicle was not a news van. It was a minivanāClaraās familyās minivan. She knew this not because of its powder-blue exterior or the cargo carrier on top, but from the panic-stricken face of her Grandma Sue screaming through the moonroof. Yet, as much as it pained Clara to cause her grandmother such fright, it was the person driving whose emotional state concerned her the most. For underneath his red baseball cap, Clara knew her fatherās face must be an equally vivid shade of anger.
Not that this was new. His face was always like that these daysāfed up with and fuming over one of her countless poor choices. Eyes down . . . feet on the ground . . . safety first . . . think before you act. Those had been her life directives since the accident, reminders given freely each day by one Mr. Oliver Poole, risk-averse father extraordinaire. She could only imagine the lecture awaiting her when she finally
touched down. The idea chilled her to the bone. Or was it the temperature dropping?
Clara gave a sheepish wave, hoping it might calm her grandmother, then retreated back in her chair as a pop-pop sounded above, and she dropped altitude. In no time, sheād be on the ground, and no doubt grounded.
Just tell him you didnāt mean itāthat it was an accident.
It wasnāt exactly untrue.
Flying over Western Michigan in a homemade balloon had never been Claraās intention. It wasnāt even her creationā at least not solely hers. The whole thing had begun as a science experiment in Mrs. Chelseaās sixth-grade classroom, which was to be unveiled at the end-of-the-year fair. After their unit on gravity, the students had decided to investigate how many balloons it would take to send a person airborne. After three days inflating hundreds of balloons and tying them to a white plastic lawn chair, which had been tethered to the ground, the kids took turns testing who could be lifted into the air.
Many of her classmates had been too heavy, but a small group including Clara floated with ease. These lucky students were assigned to sit in the chair in shifts during the fair to demonstrate the experiment.
Claraās had been the last slot of the day. At two p.m., she
climbed in, buckled the crude safety harness, and let out the rope one crank at a time until she reached a piece of tape labeled stop! 10 feet.
Then, she sat.
Most people, of course, had already seen the experiment and turned their attention to getting in one more bounce in the bounce house or devouring one more funnel cake before the fairās close. Even Mrs. Chelsea had wandered off to chat with a few other teachers. That was fine with Clara, who frankly preferred being alone. Still, after a while, even she grew bored of the quiet.
Guess Iāll just crank myself back down and be done with it, she thought.
But then a new idea called to her from an old forgotten voice.
Or . . . it said. You could go higher.
And so she did. With each revolution of the crank, she floated up until she was twenty feet off the ground. The wind jerked at the balloons, and still, no one was watching. Clara let out even more rope.
The tether sang, a high-pitched hum, as the wind tugged at the chair. But there was something else tugging, something insideāsomething that demanded attention.
Clara considered the pin securing the rope to the chair, and before knowing why, pulled it free. The balloons caught the wind, and in an instant, she launched into the sky.
Jump! she thought.
But before she could, the chair was pulled twice as high.
A chorus of bloodcurdling screams cut through the air as Mrs. Chelsea and the other teachers raced across the fairgrounds waving their hands furiously as if doing so might stop Clara from flying away. It did not. A split second later, their panicked faces were gone, the school grounds of Gerald Ford Elementary had disappeared, and Clara was rocketing west.
Thwack! Pop! Poppity-pop! The chair lurched left, jogging Clara back to earthāor rather, back to air. She grasped the white plastic arms, clenching them with even whiter knuckles, and looked up.
Of the hundreds of balloons originally tied to the lawn chair, she couldnāt count how many remained, but she knew there werenāt enough to keep her airborne much longer. These were not the type of balloons meant for long-distance flightāor short distance, for that matter. Clara doubted theyād be strong enough to last a birthday party.
Landing was either good or bad, depending on how she
looked at it. On the one hand, it meant sheād live to see another day, on the other, sheād have to face her father. Accident or not, she was positive her punishment for this escapade would be legendary.
However, that inevitability would have to wait for the more serious matter in front of her. After a day of sailing over farmland and foothills, the vast silver mirror of Lake Michigan emerged, and once she left land behind, there would be nothing but water until she reached Wisconsinā if she even made it that far. Quickly, she decided not to try.
Clara pulled a bobby pin from her hair, then started hauling down balloons string by string. She stabbed at them feverishly, popping one after another, until she started to descendāfar too quickly.
Closing her eyes, she braced for impact.
CLARA SMASHED INTO THE GROUND and ricocheted back into the air like a human skipping stone. Pieces of lawn chair flew in all directions as she tumbled, the earth biting into her arms and legs, tearing her sweatshirt and jeans. And then suddenly, she hit something with a shuddering thud.
Her eyes watered, stars flickering in her vision, before slowly, a picture formed: black, hairy, and awful-smelling. Clara groaned as she starred into the glazed eyes of an enormous wet-nosed cow.
āStop breathing on me,ā she grumbled.
The animal mooed before lumbering off. Clara sat trying to rub and blink away her blindness. This time, the flashing stars were not all in her head, but coming from a crowd of
police officers and reporters snapping pictures of her among the wreckage.
āWhy did you do it?ā one blurted.
āYeah, what gave you the idea? Was it the influence of video games?ā
āWere you running away?ā
āDo your parents know anything about your flight?ā
āWhatās your name?ā
āMy name?ā she repeated, shielding her eyes. āMy nameāsāā
The horde swiveled their heads as one at the new voice, but Clara knew it instantly.
Slowly, the crowd parted, revealing the flannel-shirted shape of her father. He was not nearly as red-faced as Clara thought heād be. In fact, he looked tired. She wiped the muck from her cheek and pulled twigs from her hair, trying to resemble anything other than the muddy mess she knew she was.
Her father stopped, looming over her, and spoke two words: āYouāre grounded.ā
THE DRIVE HOME was long and silent. Claraās father kept his attention squarely on the road, while Grandma Sue, drained from the dayās excitement, snored in the passenger seat. Clara stared out the back window at nothing in particular, trying to pass the discomfort of each minute by playing a one-person game of License-Plate ABC. She was on her second round at Q when a news report came on the radio:
āThatās right, Kirk. A twelve-year-old girl stole a hotair balloon and took law enforcement on an all-day chase across theāā
Her father switched the station.
āHereās an unusual story, Joan. A young Michigander built a hot-air balloon and launched herself from her familyās farm. After flying across the state, she splashed down in Lake Michigan, resulting in what is being called a daring Coast Guard rescue. When asked why she did it, she explained it was to encourage other young girls to be passionate about STEM education. After sheāā
Claraās father grumbled and clicked off the radio.
āThatās not true,ā she said with a huff. āI wasnāt encouraging anyone to do anything withāā
Her fatherās hand went up and the car returned to silence. They turned right at a stone gate with its painted sign
announcing bitter bend farm. As they pulled up to the house, Clara noticed the front door was wide open, no doubt left that way after her father received a call that his daughter was rocketing over Michigan in a lawn chair.
āOh, weāre home,ā said Grandma Sue, chirping up from the front seat. āI donāt know about you, but that was quite enough excitement for one day. Iām just glad youāre safe and sound, dear.ā
Clara gave a faint smile as her father cut the ignition, and they sat in silence, watching Grandma Sue make her way from the car down the gravel path to the guest cottage. āThat couldāve happened, you know,ā he said eventually.
āWhat couldāve?ā
āThose things they said on the radio. You couldāve been blown out over the lake . . . drowned . . . who knows what else.ā
āBut I wasnāt. I wasāā
Her father raised his hand again.
āDad, seriously, I wasāā
āThe only thing you were doing was thinking about yourself,ā he snapped. āBecause you definitely werenāt thinking about your grandmother or me. And you certainly werenāt thinking aboutāā He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
āGo ahead,ā Clara said, after a moment. āSay it.ā
Her fatherās eyes stayed shut.
āGo on, say it,ā she pressed. āI know itās how you feel. . . . That I certainly wasnāt thinking about Mom.ā
āNo, Clara, thatās not what I meant.ā
āYes, it is. You think everythingās my fault. That Mom would still be here if it werenāt for me.ā
āNo, thatās notāā
Clara kicked the car door open.
āClaraāā
āYeah, right,ā she snapped, and stormed into the house. She didnāt even pause to switch on the light. She marched through the darkened kitchen, stomped each stair, and slammed her bedroom door with such force, the whole house shook.
Or maybe, it was just Clara who did.
āBUT. . . YOU CANāT BACK OUT NOW! But . . . it will ruin everything. But . . . we have a contract!ā
Those words had come from the mouth of Harold Habberdish less than an hour before. Heād heard himself say them, the drastic pleas, futile appeals, and hopeless supplications, knowing full well they meant only one thing: disaster.
Haroldās day had started well enough. Heād put on his coat, pulled his blue bowler hat down over his gray curls, and stepped out the door of his Paris apartment. Rain spat, but not enough for an umbrella, nor enough to keep Harold, a Brit by birth, from walking the city streets he loved.
Turning into the Tuileries Garden, he proceeded along the manicured pathways in the direction of the Louvre, the former palace of French kings, now a world-renowned
museum. Surrounded by the richness of history, Harold reflected. Iām about to make history, too.
In little more than a week, pilots from around the globe would descend on Paris for the World Organization of Balloon Aeronautsā one-hundredth air race. And as the newly appointed president of WOOBA (as it was commonly known), Harold had spared no expense in creating what was guaranteed to be the greatest adventure competition ever conceived.
From the colossal stadium, where the opening ceremonies would take place, to the thrilling aerial venues, to the star-studded parties set in the clouds, nothing could hold a candle to what Harold was planning. Surely, his father and former WOOBA president, Harrison Habberdish, would be proud, as would his fatherās father, Hugo, WOOBA president before him. Legacy was important to Harold, and as the fifth generation of Habberdishes, from Harold to Harrison, Hugo to Henry, all the way to WOOBAās founder, Hubert Horatio Habberdish, the thought of continuing such lofty family tradition filled him with pride like . . . well, like a hot-air balloon.
The rain began to fall harder as Harold crossed Rue de Rivoli near the sloping glass of the Louvreās pyramid. He paused to take in the neatly lettered sign of Sutton & Crumwell, considered to be as fine as the bespoke clothiers
of Londonās Savile Row. As Harold crossed the threshold, the smells of mahogany, wool, and leather made him feel like heād been transported back to his childhood England.A bell chimed in back and, as if on cue, a small man dressed impeccably in gray tweed emerged from behind a green velvet curtain.
āGood day, Mr. Crumwell,ā Habberdish said, removing his coat and hat. āGoing to be a wet one after all, eh?ā
The shrewlike man squinted out the window over halfmoon glasses. āMmm, yes, Mr. Habberdish, so it would appear. Please, sir, this way.Your suit is ready.ā
Harold stepped past the curtain and up onto a dressing platform, his excitement reflected in the surrounding mirrors.
He had commissioned a one-of-a-kind suit made of brilliant royal blue linen and patterned with WOOBAās insignia, the white dove. āIt must be a suit that will stand out above the rest,ā heād proclaimed. Heād even gone so far as to provide a sketch to illustrate precisely how the doves should be sized and positioned on the fabric.
āYour jacket, sir,ā said the tailor, helping Harold slip his arms through the sleeves. āThe fit should be perfection.ā
And it was. In fact, it was the best-fitted piece of clothing Harold had ever worn. The shoulders were precisely cut, the taper at the waist just so, and the drape of the cloth was nothing short of exquisite. Yet, Haroldās attention was
focused not on the fine craftsmanship of the tailoring, but rather the unusual pattern adorning it.
āWhat is this?ā he asked, holding out the sleeve.
āThe dove pattern you requested.ā
āIām sorry, Mr. Crumwell, but I assure you it is not.ā
The tailor fiddled with his glasses, raising his chin as he squinted. āYes, yes . . . this is itāyour dovesāall up and down, precisely as you wished.ā
Harold stared into the mirror. āBut they donāt look like doves. They look like . . . like chickens!ā
āSir, this fabric was made using the exact specifications you yourself supplied.ā
āWhat do you mean, my specifications? I most certainly did not order a chicken suit!ā
The tailor readjusted his glasses and disappeared behind his curtain once more. When he returned, he held out a piece of paperāHaroldās sketch. On it, perfectly sized and precisely spaced, was a pattern of what Harold now realized looked remarkably like chickens, or at best, chicken-like doves. He conceded that the jacketās pattern was an exact match. āSurely, though, it can be fixed?ā
āIām afraid, sir, there is nothing to fix. We would need about six weeks to have new fabric made.ā
āSix weeks?ā
A short while later, a much-deflated Harold Habberdish left Suttonās, chicken suit in hand, just as the rain began to fall in sheets. By the time he hurled himself through the doors of the SociĆ©tĆ© Credit Bank, a block away, he was soaked to the bone.
As he approached the teller one squishy footstep at a time, the bankās manager,Victor Arnaut, hurried to greet him.
āMonsieur Habberdish, sir. You have gone swimming in your clothes!ā
āBonjour, Monsieur Arnaut.Yes, I, uh, forgot my umbrella at home.ā
āDo you require a towel, monsieur?ā
āNo, no,ā said Habberdish, pulling an envelope from his coat pocket. āBut you can deposit this check for me. Itās the big one from our premier sponsor, Groem and Stratmire. Without this check, nothingās getting off the ground.ā Harold chuckled at his own joke, beginning to feel a touch better after the incident at the tailorās. That was until he noticed the confusion on Victor Arnautās face.
āIām sorry, monsieur, but havenāt you heard?ā
āHeard?ā Haroldās chest tightened. āHeard what?ā
āGroem and Stratmire . . . they filed for bankruptcy this morning. The reports say it was something to do with executives secretly spending millions on big yachts and fancy
houses. I can try to deposit the check for you, monsieur, but I doubt it will clear. They have no money.ā
Harold blinked, replaying the words in his mind. Certainly, Arnaut was wrong. But as the senior executive manager of Franceās largest bank,Victor Arnautās job very much entailed always being right. Then Harold locked eyes on the newscast playing on the lobbyās television. A reporter was speaking in front of a large stone building as people exited carrying boxes and desk lamps. Though the television had been muted, Harold could still read the chyron scrolling across the bottom of the screen: groem & stratmire declares bankruptcy after 100 years of business. closure effective immediately.
Harold floated through the remainder of the day, numb: watching news stories; verifying that his check was, indeed, worthless; trudging back to his office in the pouring rain; taking in the dumbstruck faces of his employees when he announced what had happened. A phone call with the head of Groem & Stratmire confirmed that there would be no sponsorship money. He was indeed sorry, but that if there were still free tickets to the opening ceremony, heād enjoy bringing his family.
Harold looked forlornly out his window into the courtyard where brazen pigeons crept like spies among cafƩ tables, stealing pastries from the plates of unwitting tourists. After
a hundred years, was this really it? No more race? No more balloons? No more WOOBA? How would he be able to tell his family that in his first year as president, heād botched everything?
After a deep breath, he picked up the phone, steeling himself to call his father, when his assistant, Marie Lemot, stormed through his office doors.
āTurn on the TV!ā she ordered.
Harold returned the phone to the cradle. āMs. Lemot, please, the last thing I want to see is more bad news.ā
āBut, sir, you donāt understand. Itās not over! I think Iāve figured out a way to save the race!ā
Harold stared blankly as his assistant seized the remote from his desk and switched on the television. On the screen, a young girl covered in mud was standing next to a broken lawn chair and what appeared to be bundles of childrenās balloons. 12-year-old girl flies homemade balloon across Michigan . . . becomes instant celebrity.
āMs. Lemot? What is this?ā
āTrust me, sir. Iāll explain on the way. Iāll get your coat.ā
She marched to the coat stand, pausing to take in the royal-blue lump forming a puddle on the floor below.
āMr. Habberdish? Are those chickens?ā
WHEN AN UNINTENDED FLIGHT OVER Michigan in a lawn chair held aloft by balloons brings her instant celebrity, Clara Poole is invited to be the spokesperson for a roundthe-world hot-air balloon race. But when her father refuses to let her join, she forges his signature in a moment of defiance and runs away to Paris to take her place in the skies. If only sheād read the fine print first.
Partnered with a cranky veteran pilot, Clara faces down ten treacherous stagesā capturing flags in the perilous mountains of Nepal; being a guest of honor at a maybewedding in the Sahara; flying through rings of fire in Hong Kongāall while learning the ropes alongside a colorful cast of international competitors.
But there are more dangers than those planned as part of the contest. Someone is trying to sabotage the competition. And surviving this race means Clara must come to terms with the tragedy that sent her fleeing to the skies in the first place, and accepting that forgiving herself isnāt a process she has to undertake alone.
Gorgeous prose and winning characters combine in this quirky, often-hilarious, sometimes heartbreaking, and thoroughly captivating adventure from an incredible new talent.
āFast-paced debut.ā āPublishers Weekly
āIāD GIVE ANYTHING TO FLY.ā