+Puberty Talk Family Guide Welcome to Puberty Talk! The purpose of this family guide is to support families as they engage in conversation about Puberty Talk topics with their young people. It includes information about each lesson’s topics, as well as suggested conversation starters around each topic. The Puberty Talk course typically consists of five one-hour lessons. This summary is a sample of how instructors may organize the topics in a Puberty Talk course. Sequencing of course content may be changed to suit a school’s specific needs. Students complete an Intro Survey in Lesson 1 and an Exit Survey in Lesson 5 to identify knowledge gains and student opinions about the Puberty Talk course. Wondering how to get started with these conversations? Parents often note that engaging in brief, frequent chats with their young person is less intimidating for everyone than having one “The Talk”! If you’re feeling unsure of where and when to have these conversations, we recommend having them in the car, or while on a walk. This way, you and your young person are facing forward rather than making direct eye contact, and focused on something external at the same time, which can help to take the pressure off. We also recommend using generalized language such as “some people might do xyz” rather than referring to your own direct experiences around these topics to limit embarrassment for your young person. We at Health Connected hope this guide brings you closer to your young person and encourages further conversations to support their health and wellbeing.
Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
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Lesson 1: Introduction Educating preteens about puberty in a safe and supportive environment helps them develop a positive mindset about this new phase of life. Puberty Talk Group Norms are designed to establish an educational climate that encourages active participation in the lessons without fear of being put down, judged, or laughed at. Gentle introductory activities encourage unity and prepare students for learning about puberty in a respectful and supportive environment. The homework interview, “Ask Your Adults,” which takes place over multiple talks, aims to promote communication between students and their trusted adult(s). The support and advice from caring adults is extremely important to young people navigating puberty.
Suggested Questions for Parents/Guardians to Ask: Ask the following questions with a relaxed, curious, and playful approach. Preteens are often more eager than their parents/guardians to talk about puberty, so leverage the enthusiasm while it lasts! Let your young person do most of the talking and follow their lead. If your young person is very private, reassure them that the more information they have, the more prepared they will be for puberty. If your young person simply won’t engage, don’t force them. Just gently try again tomorrow. If nothing else, they will get the message that you are open to talking, available, and interested. How do you feel about Puberty Talk? How do you think your friends feel? How did your class respond to the Pick-a-Side game? This gives you an insight into the emotions your student and their peers are feeling in regards to Puberty Talk. You can help normalize the topic by telling a brief story about your first puberty class. If you didn’t have one, perhaps imagine with your student how helpful learning about bodies and puberty might have been. Did you get any homework today? Perhaps gently let your student know that you are available to talk with them throughout the course if they have any questions. This may jog their memory about the family interview homework, “Ask Your Adult.” Remember, it is their choice whether to interview you, or choose another trusted adult. Do you think this is the right time in your life to learn about puberty? If not, when would be a better time? You have an opportunity to reassure your young person that they are mature enough to process the information, and that even if their body is not going through puberty, they will be prepared when it happens.
Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
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Lesson 2: Identities Each person’s uniquely intersecting identities and experiences shape the way they encounter the world. With the arrival of puberty, a young person’s sense of identity and social acceptance fluctuates as they seek to discover who they are and how they fit in. This lesson focuses on recognizing and celebrating human diversity and the things that make each of us unique. It also helps to establish a common understanding and language for gender and sexual identities. Students learn how biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, attraction/sexual orientation are distinct, but related. Other terms discussed in this lesson are intersex, cisgender, transgender, non-binary, heterosexual, gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual. Learning about gender and sexual diversity among peers enables shared language and promotes understanding, which helps build empathy and safer learning environments for students of all genders. Students do not self-identify or disclose their own gender and sexual identities during the lesson. [CA Education Code, section 51930(b)(2-3), 51933(d)(5-6)]
Suggested Questions for Parents/Guardians to Ask: Ask the following questions with a relaxed, curious, and neutral approach. Let your young person lead the way with this discussion, as they may like to debrief, find out what you think, and process the information with you. A person’s sense of identity is complex, and many traits contribute to it, including gender and sexual identity. Can you teach me some of the identity words you learned today? Asking your student to teach you the latest identity terms contributes to their confidence using language and allows them to be the teacher for a change! What are some ways a person can express their gender? In Puberty Talk, gender expression is defined as the way someone shows their gender to the outside world. This can be a time to follow up by asking if your young person feels comfortable in the clothes they wear, their hairstyle, hobbies, etc. Why is talking about identity important during puberty? As a preteen, the body begins to develop rapidly, which can alter a person’s perspective and relationship with themselves both emotionally and physically. Puberty-age students may begin to question their own identities and feel more curious about other people’s identities. Encouraging openness early can alleviate the feeling of confusion and isolation young people may feel. You can use this opportunity to talk about other identity traits too! What do you think about the Anonymous Question Box? The daily Anonymous Question Box provides students with a safe and private outlet to question, clarify, and express their thoughts. It also enables instructors to deconstruct and reframe common myths, misinformation, and stereotypes without students feeling singled-out or embarrassed for asking. Videos used in class: Thoughts on Being Transgender – Jazz Age 7 Riley on Marketing
Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
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Lesson 3: Anatomy & Reproduction This lesson begins by introducing the concept of consent, and the importance of respecting personal boundaries. It is crucial to help students understand bodily autonomy before discussing human sexual and reproductive systems in order to reinforce appropriate behavior. The presentation on anatomy uses internal and external diagrams of the two typical patterns of sex development – known commonly as the male body and the female body – while acknowledging that physical variations exist from person to person. Sperm production is explained during the explanation of the internal male anatomy. Ovulation and periods are explained to orient human reproduction and to equip young people with skills to manage periods. Normalizing anatomical language increases agency, bodily autonomy, and confidence. Having respectful, shared terms allows for more open and honest conversations in the Puberty Talk classroom, the doctor’s office, and at home. The second half of this lesson focuses on the biological processes relating to human reproduction. The term “sex” is simply defined in general terms within this lesson as one way for sperm and egg cells to come together and create a pregnancy. However, Puberty Talk does not define any specific partnered sexual behaviors. Students are also encouraged to think about family diversity and different ways that people may add children to their family, such as surrogacy and in vitro fertilization (IVF), as well as adoption and fostering.
Suggested Questions for Parents/Guardians to Ask: Ask the following questions with a relaxed, curious, and playful approach. This may be the first time your student has learned about conception, so it is an important opportunity to lay foundations about your family’s values surrounding reproduction. This is a difficult conversation to have for many children and adults, but it is essential that parents be an honest, accessible voice if they would like to be involved in these significant conversations in the future. Tell me why it is so important for other people to listen to our body boundaries, such as when we tell them ‘no’ or that we aren’t comfortable with touch? Discussing body boundaries prior to anatomy is important so that students understand consent and their right to say who can and can’t touch their body. Were there any words used for body parts that are different from the ones that our family uses? What parts of the reproductive system surprised you? Leading with gentle, inquisitive questions can pave the way for more complex questions that may follow. What were the main topics of Puberty Talk today? What did you learn about reproduction that you didn’t know already? Is there anything that you would like me to explain further? We can research together. These questions enable you to find out what your young person knows about reproduction. It also provides you with an opportunity to gently fill in any obvious gaps, and instill the values perspective that’s right for your family. You can also model how to use technology safely to find answers to your student’s questions. It may be a good time to explain how it is easy to accidentally stumble on sexually explicit images when using the internet, and that it isn’t your young person’s fault if this happens. Tell them to come to you when it happens (because it will happen), so that you can help them figure out how to avoid it next time. Apart from me, who else could you ask for help or information about bodies and babies? If your young person can’t name another trusted adult, encourage them by sharing that most adults are honored when a Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
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young person seeks them out for advice. Wonder together who might be the trusted adults in your family’s community circle. Videos used in class: Spermtoon
Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
© Health Connected
Lesson 4: Puberty Changes, Health, and Hygiene In this lesson, open conversations about common puberty changes enable students to feel informed and prepared for the changes to come. Normalizing discussions about bodies, puberty changes, and boundaries in mixed-gender groups help young people develop empathy and mutual respect. Practical information about health and hygiene develops bodily autonomy and independence. Mental health is also a crucial component of wellness, and students are encouraged to identify their favorite strategies and resources for self-care.
Suggested Questions for Parents/Guardians to Ask: Remember to project a positive, playful, and curious attitude as you talk with your young person. Puberty is as exciting as it is challenging. Anticipating puberty with positivity and confidence increases agency and autonomy. The challenges can be contended with when they arise. What puberty change do you think is the most interesting? Can you explain the purpose or reason for the change? The first question is curious and playful, and aimed at normalizing the puberty conversation. Let your young person experience your willingness to talk about puberty because you want them to feel comfortable to seek you out in the future. What are the changes that happen during puberty that make it possible for adults to reproduce? Let your young person explain the release of egg cells (ovulation), menstruation, and sperm production. What are your favorite things you like to do to take care of yourself? This conversation makes self-care fun and helps to normalize the hygiene practices required to care for the body as it goes through puberty and matures. Use this opportunity to talk about managing periods or talking about wet dreams. Students may also talk about maintaining good mental health, and things that serve the health of communities. Do you have any questions about what puberty was like for me? Kids sometimes wonder what puberty was like for their parents, and giving them the chance to ask you questions about your experiences can help them open up about their own.
Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
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Lesson 5: Boundaries and Communication This is often the final lesson Puberty Talk. The definitions of consent, sexual harassment, and sexual assault are ageappropriately established so young people can better advocate for themselves and others. Consent is explained in general terms, not from a sexual perspective. Students practice the principles of general consent in a class activity. As student knowledge and experience is limited, scenarios (short stories) are used to provide examples of situations that require critical thinking and analysis. Students gain knowledge and skills to identify unlawful and/or unwanted behavior, practice assertive language, and are always urged to tell a trusted adult who will help and support them. To finish on a positive note, and to provide a creative outlet, students reflect on healthy friendships and the personal qualities that make a good friend. A fun review game helps to embed some of the most important information shared during the Puberty Talk course. An exit survey is taken to help assess knowledge gains and future behavioral changes.
Suggested Questions for Parents/Guardians to Ask: Some adults have experienced sexual harassment and assault, which can make talking about this subject particularly difficult. Make sure to take care of your own mental health and be mindful that the following discussion might be better coming from a different trusted adult. Reinforce that although the Puberty Talk course has finished, you are available to talk about growing up, bodies, and sexual health topics in the future. Let your young person know that it is an important part of your job to talk about these important things so that you can help prepare them for an independent, successful life. Who is a friend in your life that you value? What do you like about them? What do you think they like about you? Having a solid example of a positive friendship can help students have a reference point to refer back to when considering healthy friendships. This can also be a great opportunity to encourage healthy friendship behaviors in your young person. Why would someone feel as if they cannot tell someone that they have been sexually harassed or assaulted? This is an opportunity for you to reassure your young person that you will always believe them if they come to you for help. Looking back, how do you feel about the Puberty Talk course overall? How did you feel at the beginning? How do you feel now? This gives your young person an opportunity to reflect on the ways in which perceptions can shift over time, and with new information and experiences. You can also take this opportunity to normalize still having some uncomfortable feelings or nerves about puberty. Now that the school lessons are over, who can you continue to talk to about these important topics? Give your young person permission to approach you with any questions and suggest other trusted adults in their life. Encourage them to involve you when they search for answers (particularly about sexual health) on the internet so they can have a safe and positive experience. Videos used in class: Consent for Kids Resource for Adults: RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) www.rainn.org/safety-parents | 1-800-656-4673 Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
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Conclusion Puberty Talk is typically five hours of instruction. The topics presented may be taught in a different sequence than is presented in this document, depending on many influencing factors. Health Connected hopes that families can use this guide as a helpful starting point for many discussions involving values, culture, and beliefs. Please contact parents@health-connected.org for information on parent workshops and Family Talk workshops to support you and your pre-teen. You can also find resources like book recommendations for young people and their trusted adults as well as recommended websites at www.health-connected.org/resources. We recommend previewing each resource, to make sure it’s a match with your family’s values. Want to get in touch with us? Reach out to parents@health-connected.org. We would love to hear what you found helpful from this guide, and how we can further support you and your young person.
Puberty Talk Family Guide, 2027
© Health Connected