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MOTHER’S DAY

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Mom Deserves the Best of Our Love WHAT’S INSIDE ■ A Mom's Lasting Influence ■ A Salute To Mothers ■ Love From A Distance ■ Confessions Of A Filipina Super Mom ■ What Is The Most Memorable Time/Greatest Accomplishment In Your Life As A Mom? ■ Complimenting Motherhood ■ What Is The Greatest Sacrifice That Your Mom Has Made For You? ■ Unique Gift Ideas For Mother's Day ■ Mom's Favorite Dish ■ Don't Settle

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MAY 9, 2015

OM. The very word stirs up fond memories of the woman who loves us unconditionally. We can never repay mom for all of the sacrifices she’s made but we can do small, simple things each day that show how much we love and honor her. MOM means the world to us. Turn the pages and read how others feel about the most important woman in their lives and how thankful they are for their MOM. ►

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EDITORIAL

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

A Mom’s Lasting Influence

s Mother’s Day approaches, we all look for ways to thank the most important woman in our lives for all of the precious memories we hold and for all that she has done for us. Not surprisingly, Mother’s Day is one, if not THE busiest day of the year for restaurants, florists, candy stores and greeting card makers. There’s just something about this one day out of the year that makes grown men and women search for the perfect gift of appreciation for mom or at least run to the flower store minutes before closing. If you ask anyone who is the most influential person in his or her life, chances are that they will say “my mom.” And for good reason. Moms since the beginning of time have played a special role in the lives of their children. In the Bible, Moses’ mom hid him in the Nile River to protect him. In the Old Testament, the prophet Samuel’s mom prayed for him daily and gave him to God at a young age. Mary, the mother of Jesus, played a godly role in His life. In fact, many highly-accomplished people are quick to credit their personal success to their mom—people like President Abra-

ham Lincoln who once noted “All that I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother.” Most people would agree that their relationship with mom evolves during certain stages in life. As toddlers, we welcome their hugs and daily encouragement. As moody teenagers, we sometimes feel that they don’t give us enough personal space. And as adults, we finally come full circle and see them as a source of wisdom and support. Whether we realize it or not, mom has permanently set up shop in our heads and our hearts. Whoever said “moms write on the hearts of their children what the world’s rough hands cannot erase” is absolutely correct. Hardwired into each mom by their Creator is the ability and desire to love their children even through the worst of times—similar to how God loves each of us unconditionally. The love of moms for their children is truly something beautiful to behold. For that, they deserve a special place in our hearts, not just this Mother’s Day, but for every day of the year. Happy Mother’s Day, mom! You truly deserve all of our love and affection.

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COVER sTORy

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

A Salute to Mothers By Gregory Garcia

t is Mother’s Day once again, that one day in the year when we pay tribute to the most important woman in our lives. Nowadays, motherhood is celebrated here in the U.S., thanks in no small measure to shifting family values that have elevated the role of women and mothers in society. Moms are no longer just seen as homemakers, they are now also considered vital contributors to families’ emotional and economic lives.

Motherhood in Ancient times Throughout history, societies across the West have viewed motherhood through different lenses. In ancient Greece, the importance placed on mothers was very different between city-states Sparta and Athens. Although women in Sparta did not participate in politics and military activities, they were equally educated as men and controlled their own properties. Women were also respected as mothers of Spartan warriors and enjoyed prominence and power because their motherhood was seen as a source of honor to the warrior society. In this city-state, only women who died in childbirth and men who died in battle were considered worthy of having their names etched on their gravestones. Athens on the other hand, was a patriarchal society that excluded women from its democratic practices. Women were not considered citizens of the state and mothers played an inferior role in the oikos (family), which was headed by the kyrios, the male master. In ancient Rome, freeborn women enjoyed more rights than their earlier Athenian counterparts. The mother’s primary role was bearing and raising children and it was considered a noble role for

mothers to train their children to become good Roman citizens. To be able to do this, a mother ideally had to be welleducated and properly mannered herself. During the Renaissance, the mother figure was also seen as an important part of the family, although the father remained the traditional head of the household. Most men considered a humble and virtuous woman to be an ideal wife, and a mother was expected to care for the children, manage minor household affairs, serve her husband, and be obedient to him. The definition of motherhood in more recent times proved to be a polarizing subject. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson formally declared the second Sunday of May a national holiday in the U.S. to honor mothers, but attitudes toward motherhood were still not always positive. The views of Austrian neurologist and father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, in particular, stirred controversy in the early 20th century because he is said to have supported the idea that women’s lives were governed largely by their sexual reproductive functions. During the post-World War II years of the 1940s and 1950s, women and mothers experienced renewed domesticity. The suburban married life where a woman’s place was relegated to the home was seen as ideal by mainstream culture. Misogynistic attitudes were also rife, with male-centered ideologies occupying space in media of all kinds— from books and magazines to television shows and print advertisements. All of these ideas were radically challenged by a second-wave of feminism in the U.S. during the 1960s.

Motherhood in Present-Day America During the 1980s, the “mommy wars” era—the age of the “us vs. them” debate be-

Survey conducted by the center, mothers spent 10 hours a week on child care in 1965, while fathers spent a measly 2.5 hours with their children. Compare this to 2011 figures, which showed that modern moms spend 14 hours per week on child care, while dads spend 7 hours a week caring for their kids. Motherhood today is clearly about striking that perfect balance between being a homemaker and working outside of the home to provide for the family.

Marisol Madla (top right) celebrates Mother's Day with her son Theodore (top left) and calabash grandchildren tween working moms and stay-at-home moms—began. Through the years since then, both sides have discussed their views passionately, aided no doubt by traditional mass media and later by the Internet. The last few decades have also proved to be a hotbed for deliberations on many other parenting issues. If one were to look at the numbers nowadays, however, it would seem like both sides of the belligerents of the mommy wars are actually winning. According to the Pew Research Center, more moms are now working outside the home, with 71 percent of all mothers with children under 18 years old being in the workforce in 2012, compared to only 49 percent in 1967. More mothers are also breadwinners these days, with a record 40 percent of all households having mothers who are either the sole or primary provider for the family, up from a mere 11 percent in 1960. One should also note that about two-thirds of these breadwinner moms are single mothers. On the other hand, a majority of present-day Americans also believe that a parent at home is best for the kids.

The Pew Research Center noted that in 2014, 60 percent of Americans believed that children were better off when a parent stayed at home to focus on the family. Furthermore, despite the fact that a majority of parents today have careers outside of the home, present-day moms and dads spend more time with their children than parents did in the past. According to the American Time Use

Hawaii Moms on Motherhood and Parenting Makiki resident Andrea Heraña loves adventurous activities like hiking, skydiving and water sports. She also happens to be a mother of 9year-old Tovy, whom she says is very smart and is aspiring to become a PGA golfer someday. “I got married at a young age of 21. In that period in your life, that’s when you usually think about career and making a mark for yourself,” says Heraña, who is a registered nurse and was initially planning to get a job immediately. However, she says God (continued on page S4)

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COVER sTORy

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

A SALUTE... (from page S3)

had a different plan for her and blessed her with a husband and a son instead. “I learned that my career as a nurse was not my priority. I had to mature fast. I had a new purpose and was driven to make my son’s dreams come true. His triumphs were my triumphs and joys in life. I also felt pain with his sorrows and disappointments, but I had to keep them to myself since he was getting strength from me.” Heraña is the third among four siblings and considers her mother as her best friend. When she was younger, she often thought that her mom had an easy life and had very little problem taking care of them. “Only when I became a mother myself did I learn that motherhood was the total opposite of what my idea of being a mom was like. I gave mom a call after my son turned one, and I told her I never knew being a mother was more than a 24/7 job,” she says. Heraña now calls motherhood her “best adventure ever,” despite having to make a shift in her priorities and dreams. “Motherhood means you are giving and dedicating your life to your kids. The joy of motherhood for me is watching your children grow up to be the best individuals they can be.” Honolulu resident Vickie Bunye also notes that the transition into motherhood is not easy, but it’s well worth it. “Life’s transitions, in general, are not easy and full of anxieties, particularly so in be-

Vickie Bunye and daughter Regina

Nestor, Tovy and Andrea Heraña pose for a family portrait coming a parent. My husband and I started our family here in Hawaii. Except for his sister, we did not have any family support because our relatives were all in the Philippines. “My becoming a mother had a few snags but I overcame them with the help of my husband and partner, who was learning how to become a father himself. My husband and I were together in this transition process responding, as caring parents, to our daughter’s needs and development,” she says. Her daughter is now based in Los Angeles and is a working professional on a daytime program for one of America’s major television networks. Bunye says her own mother, who was a stay-athome wife and a mother to seven children, was her role model for motherhood.

“As a full-time housewife, she was the home administrator, planner, accountant, teacher, counselor, mediator, nurse, chef, emergency coach, self-sacrificing adult and our friend. Seeing those roles assumed by my mother, I thought motherhood was a very difficult task that needed training, balancing and prioritizing—a role that I would not step into until I was ready,” she shares. “The joy of being a mother is not easy to describe because it is a deep emotion, even spiritual. Actually, joy was not the only emotion I felt when I became a mother. The first time I held my daughter, there were many feelings that overcame me: love, tenderness, awe, completeness or the feeling of being fulfilled, gratefulness and of course, joy. There was also the feeling

of anxiety and asking myself—‘will I be a really good mother to help her grow into a good and responsible adult?’ “Now that my daughter is an accomplished professional and actively involved in the church and community, the feelings of love and joy run even deeper. I guess the joy of being a mother is to be able to thank God for giving me the role,” she says.

Building Loving Memories When asked about memorable things that her son has done for her, Heraña recalled the time when she brought her son’s 3rd grade friends to their home for his birthday. “His friends told me that my son always says I’m the best mom ever. When I brought them for a sleepover on his birthday, all of them said that my son was lucky to have a mom like me and that his stories about me being one of the best moms around were true. “My son also loves my cooking. With every first bite, he says ‘mom this is the best ever!’ Knowing that he is

proud of me in his own little ways warms my heart and will be forever in my memory.” For Bunye, it was her daughter’s childhood artistry which she still recalls with fondness. “My daughter’s artworks from preschool to high school were always a delight to keep. The wooden bracelet she made for me was a real treasure. Her high school art projects that won prizes were very impressive as well. One was exhibited in an art museum in Washington, DC, and eventually purchased by the school. Another one hangs in our living room today.” When asked how she feels about watching her child mature, Bunye says she is amazed at how fast she grew up into the woman she is today. “Every year when she celebrates her birthday, the image of me holding her for the first time always comes back to my mind. It gives me a warm and wonderful maternal feeling, and also a feeling of gratitude to God for what she has become.” For Heraña, watching her boy grow up is a bittersweet feeling. “The baby who once needed me for everything, needs me less every year. However, I take comfort in the thought that while he will soon not require my help in certain things, his need for love and guidance will always be there. One day, when they grow big enough, children will no longer need to hold on to their mothers’ hands, but they will need their mothers’ hearts the most instead,” she says.

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VIEWPOINT

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

LOVE FROM A DISTANCE By Seneca Moraleda-Puguan acrifice. It’s a very common word to say but an incredibly difficult act to do. This has become a trend in a country stricken by poverty and corruption, where families are separated so parents can provide for their children by going to lands of milk and honey. My family is no exemption. My mother was a teacher of special children in the Philippines. My father was an employee. We had a good life but my mother wanted the best for her four growing children. She had been given the opportunity to go to America and stayed there since then. I was 17 years old when she left. I was about to enter college. My sister was studying architecture in the university, and my two younger brothers were in high school. With all the expenses needed for our education, their salary wouldn't suffice. So my mother made a bold decision to work abroad where she could earn more. She worked as a nanny. Instead of taking care of her own children, she was taking care

of somebody else’s. She worked long hours and even experienced having cruel employers. She endured tiredness, homesickness and harsh treatment because she was thinking of her children back home. Her efforts paid off. We wouldn't have finished our schooling had it not been for her hard work. We are now living comfortable lives because our Seneca Moraleda-Puguan with mom Marlu mother exchanged her comfort I miss her caresses and emulate. Her decisions led to for ours. She let go of her hugs when I was sick. I miss having brothers who grew up dreams so we could fulfill the lunch boxes she would without a mother figure and to ours. She chose to live a hard prepare for us before we went a family that's broken. But I belife so her children could have to school. I miss having a lieve that she has loved us the the best that life can offer. mother to run to when days get best way she knows how, to All of us are raising our cold. But because of her, I give her children the best life own families now, and it’s sad learned to be independent. I she can ever give. There were that our mother has not seen us learned to take risks and to times I blamed her for shattergrow to become the parents, take care of myself. ing my dream of having a famhusbands and wives that we Separated from her for ily that's intact but seeing are. She hasn’t even seen or half of my life, I do not know everything that she's done for played with some of her the things she likes or does us, I have chosen to forgive. grandchildren, only heard not. I have no idea what makes Now that I'm becoming a their voices. her laugh, smile We have been apart for 13 or cry. But one years now. I have only seen thing I do know is her twice all these years- when that she loves us. she visited for a few weeks to The things she process some papers, and on has done and conmy wedding day. And the rest tinues to do, she are conversations over the does it for me and phone, casual exchanges of “I my siblings. love you”, “thank you” and She is not the “hope you are well”. perfect mother to

POETRy To my mom Carlota, There are no words that can ever express all my gratitude and thanks for all that you have done and sacrificed for your family. I am who I am today because of you. If I can be a great mother like you then I have truly served my purpose in my life and for my very own family. I am so proud of you and so happy that the community sees in you what I have always known. You are an inspirational woman with strength and wisdom. Congratulations on your award. I love you. – GJ Ader Yorke

Everything that I am Is all because of you Your love support and guidance Is only a small part of what you do You taught me thru examples, You nurtured and gave me the truth Told me to work hard But also play and enjoy my youth Never once did you leave my side You've always been there, you are my rock Showing me to live my life to the fullest

As we can never turn back the clock You are the strongest woman I know e one I truly admire My mother, teacher, friend Whose actions and words truly inspire I honor you my mom and thank you for all that you have done You are not only the very Best You are and always will be number 1 I'm so happy you are being recognized For all your gifts and talent I'm so proud to have the best mom In the world and on the planet.

mother soon and experiencing the challenges of pregnancy, I'm beginning to realize that my mother who had endured the pains of carrying her babies in her womb for 9 long months will do anything for them, even if the cost is being away from them just so they lead comfortable lives. I really haven’t had the chance to thank her for everything she has done for us but I hope she realizes how grateful we are to have her as our mother. I pray that as she looks at our pictures, as she hears our stories, as she sees us become mothers and fathers, her heart would be touched knowing that her labor has not been in vain. When I looked at her on my wedding day, I saw how old she has become but she still looked stunning and beautiful. My mother, imperfect as she may be, is worth honoring, respecting and loving. Sacrifice is laying down one's life for another. My mother exemplified It. And I am proud of her, even if she loves from a distance.

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FEATURE

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

Confessions of a FIlIpINA SupEr MoM by Deborah Manog

udelyn Averion is not your average mom. With a total of six kids including a newborn baby, three toddlers, a six-year-old and a daughter in her early teen years—Averion is more like “super mom,” even though she’s too humble to ever admit it. After a hectic night of washing dishes, putting all six kids to bed and sleeping half an hour past midnight only to get up at 4 am to prepare breakfast, Averion managed to squeeze a little time out of her busy schedule to discuss the joys and realities of motherhood. For the entire time, her mind was fixated on her kids, pulling out her phone multiple times to proudly show photos of them. She played a video of her daughter, Geanine, singing

“Let it Go” from Disney’s “Frozen” at her elementary school talent show. The sixyear-old is in full get-up, wearing mini high heels, a crown, a dress and Queen Elsa’s trademark side-braided hair. Averion tells me that Geanine signed up for the talent show all on her own. “She’s the one who asked for the application form from her teacher,” Averion said. “She’s only kindergarten but me and my husband are here to support whatever she and my other kids want to do.” Born and raised in Lucena City in the Quezon Province, Averion met her husband Gerardo at a wedding while he was vacationing in the Philippines. Gerardo courted her for over a year through love letters and phone calls. “I wanted to make sure

Filipina super mom Judelyn Averion with husband Gerardo and their six children that this is the man I will love and be with forever,” Averion said. Averion worked as an assistant preschool teacher on Oahu, before taking a year off to care for her fifth child. She was expected to return to work in 2014 but officially resigned upon learning that she was pregnant with her sixth child. For Averion, it didn’t make sense that much of her hard-earned salary went to pay for a babysitter. At the same time, she didn’t want to miss out on watching her children grow up. “ E v e n though the pay was higher, that time I missed with my kids, I don’t want that,” Averion said. She and her husband Gerardo use a “tag team” approach when it comes to raising their children. Gerardo works the night shift as a bus driver and returns home at 2 am. He wakes up a few hours later to drop the kids off to school. They both attend twohour “Tutu and Me” classes with four of their kids

twice a week. Averion takes care of all six kids when her husband leaves in the afternoon to head to work. And the next day, they do it all over again. Even with such a crazy schedule, Averion still manages to fit in weekly Zumba classes, social hours with the Mom’s Club of Leeward Oahu Support Group, meetings with her Grace Bible Church small group and shuttle her kids to and from their extracurricular activities. “Every day is a rush for us,” Averion says. Time management is a must, so she makes sure to stick to the schedule mapped out on her calendar every day. Averion and her husband did not expect that they would end up raising a large family. After Averion gave birth to their first child, they spent six years trying for another baby until they were blessed with their second child. Since they almost never spend time alone these days, the couple thinks “maybe during that time God let us enjoy each other’s company.” Although raising half a dozen kids is not easy, Averion finds daily happiness in the simplest of things, like when her children pick flowers in the garden or create their own cards to express their love for mommy. “I have no pearls or diamonds as I’m sure you’re well aware, so I’ll give u a gift more precious—my devotion, love and care,” Averion reads

from the latest card by her eldest daughter Geraldine, which made her eyes swell with tears. Averion says she would not be the woman she is today if it wasn’t for her own mother and biggest inspiration, Melinda Corsiga. “She made me a stronger person, giving me responsibility as the oldest child,” Averion said. “My mom taught me how to be a role model to my siblings and be independent at a young age.” Averion’s father worked abroad in the Middle East before he became sick and returned to the Philippines where he was bed-ridden for two years. While her mother stayed home to care for him, Averion had to work while studying Industrial Management at Manuel S. Enverga University. Her father eventually passed away at age 50 but not before instilling in her the importance of maintaining strong family ties. Although Averion cannot afford to spoil her own kids with much material things, she instead showers them with unconditional love. “Motherhood is a challenging job but it’s priceless,” Averion says. “I’m not a perfect mom but I’m doing my best for them. I do believe kids are a gift from the Lord—it’s not that it’s my destiny because I was given choices,” Averion says. “And a mother is what I choose to be.”

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PERsONAL REFLECTIONs

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

Q: What is the most memorable time/greatest accomplishment in your life as a mom? by Carlota Hufana Ader Lorjie Tamayo Cuartero Lanakila Baptist Elementary School teacher The most memorable time in my life as a mom was when my daughter, who was in grade school at the time, told me: “Mom, I’m competitive. It’s just that I don’t compete with anyone but myself.” She told me that because I was pushing her to be at the top of her class.

Maria Etrata Business owner and UFCH president It was before having all of my children finish their education and instilling in them the importance of always being respectful to others, especially the elderly, and to never forget where they came from. The legacy I want to leave for my children is to always give back to the community. I’ve showed them that I care for others and so they should too.

Cherry Guillermo Tax preparer, H&R Block/FMS One of the most memorable times in my life as a mom was when my son Anthony sent me this birthday message: “Happy Birthday, Mom! You’re one of the strongest women I’ve known in my life. I truly was raised by a queen. You’ve been there during our ups and downs, our smiles and frowns. Even though we’ve clashed many times with our differences, you’ve always been able to come to an understanding with me and my brother. We’re blessed to have a mom that supports us in what we do. We are not and never were perfect children but you still love us regardless. Especially during the past 12 years, you had to raise us on your own. I know it was hard but it brought us closer. We can’t thank you enough and now you finally get to spend your birthday with dad and your two sons. It’s been a long time coming. We love you, Mom!” I still cry whenever I read this. I never expected them to acknowledge what happened during those 12 years when we were by ourselves.

Fides Delgado Sipin President, Bright I's, LLC I’ve been a single mom to my 3 wonderful children— David, DJ and Dannie—and very proud of it. It was difficult raising 3 children, especially when 2 of them lived 3,000 miles away. I left my ex-husband in 1999 and moved to Hawaii with no family or friends. All I had was my 4-year-old girl. I came to Hawaii promising myself that I would be able to make it on my own. Needless to say, we did not have a place to stay. I looked for a job and landed at Queen’s where my work schedule wasn’t that great. There were times when I wanted to cry but I looked at my daughter and told myself that I could do it. When the Holidays came, I’d get so excited because my sons would be coming to visit me in Hawaii. It was always hard for the four of us to say goodbye. I felt a sense of accomplishment and happiness when my eldest child David finished high school and decided to go to college. When it was DJ’s turn I (continued on page S9)

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PERsONAL PERsPECTIVEs

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

Complimenting Motherhood by Lilia Quindoza Santiago, Ph.D. otherhood is undeniably one of the greatest human endeavors. Mothers have shown the most creative, inventive and innovative aspects of life when raising their own children. Millions of mothers throughout the world know the pain of birthgiving and yet millions still go through labor, cry it out, wait for hours to deliver babies. Mothers go through indescribable suffering in nurturing and caregiving and yet, motherhood never really lost its steam as one of the good pleasures a person can have. There are all kinds of mothers – the good, the not so good, the brave, the uncaring, the despicable, the tolerant, and the intolerable and so on. What has not really been told so often are the efforts of many people to supplement or compliment motherhood when there is a slackening or lack of it. These are what I call the complimentary mothers who assume motherhood without really living the reality of it. These are women, and men and gays and lesbians who have not experience being biological mothers themselves, that is, they have not had children of their own and yet rear children and become mothers in the same compassionate ways as many mothers do. Teachers assume mother-

A teacher demonstrates reading and writing skills to her students who hopefully will appreciate the benefits they will gain

Mother Teresa defined new meanings of love, kindness and compassion for impoverished children hood roles in school. Nurses mother patients in so many ways. Nuns have always been referred to as mothers in church and religious congregations, some of them even addressed as mother superiors. What these kinds of mothers do is an amazing and admirable kind of motherhood. They define new meanings for kindness, courage and compassion. I write about these complimentary mothers because I have had the pleasure of being reared and nurtured by many

of them. I remember my grade one teacher and the funny way she taught me how to read “ Pepe and Pilar” – the grade one textbook of my time. She marvelled at how I memorized the book from cover to cover and yet, she said that was not the proper way to read. I should pronounce each word carefully, read the syllabes and note how the word is formed and then later know the meaning. Only then will I be able to appreciate the story. She is the same teacher who helped me write

my name by holding my right hand and skillfully following how the letters of the alphabet are formed in my name. In high school, I remember we called many of our teachers Miss, and many of them were really single persons who did not have spouses or partners but they were the best teachers. Miss Valdez was my English teacher who taught me a love of literature through the poems of Angela Manalang Gloria’s poems, and the story of “How My Brother Leon Brought Home a Wife” by Manuel Arguilla. Mr. Venancio was my teacher is Pilipino who taught me how to write a “balagtasan” that we performed in one of the school programs. In college, I will never forget the impact that Mrs. E had on my life. She is Nieves Epistola, my teacher in stylistics – a tough subject. During martial law, Mrs. E. mothered many others and me. Her room at the Faculty Center of UP became the meeting place of all kinds of students, activists and non-activists and even desolates who had many issues and problems at home

and in school. Mrs. E always had a word to say, a welcome home to stand by and a helping hand for any one needing comfort. At the latest fiesta of the Center for Philippine Studies of the University of Hawaii at Manoa, I heard Dr. Belinda Aquino say that she has been called mother in so many ways. Vina Lanzona, current director of CPS had referred to her in the program as the “mother” of Philippine Studies. The host of one of the conferences of ICOPHIL (International Conference on the Philippines) in Japan called her the “godmother” of Philippine Studies. Then, in Europe at another conference, she was referred to as the “grandmother” of Philippine Studies. These are accolades for a woman who had mothered a distinct area of knowledge and extended the frontiers of motherhood in academe. Her efforts are well recognized by her community and peers. So these are examples of mothers who compliment motherhood. May their tribe increase and thrive.

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ChRONICLE PULsE

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

Q: What is the greatest sacrifice that your mom has made for you? by Carlota Hufana Ader

my expert-in-everything and my very best friend.

Geraldine Averion, 12

Tovy Heraña, 9

Kapolei Middle School, Grade 7 The greatest sacrifice that my mother made was to resign from her job. I really appreciate what she did. She could’ve paid a baby sitter to take care of us while she was working but that’s not what she chose to do. I asked my mom once “Mommy, why did you resign from your job?” She replied, “So I can take care of you and your siblings.” Now she's able to pick me up from school whenever I have after school activities, unlike before. She’s there everyday for me and my siblings and even helps us with our homework. I know my mom would’ve been earning money if she didn’t resign from her job, but she chose to be with her children over earning money. She chose her children over something she would’ve benefitted from.

Noelani Elementary School, Grade 3 My mom’s greatest sacrifice for me is her life. She always puts me first in everything. She is happy when I am happy.

Gabrielle Galamga, 11 Pohakea Elementary School, Grade 5 My mom does a lot of things for me. She’s always helping me with my school work. My mom spends a lot of time nurturing me and making sure that I’ll grow up to be a good citizen of America.

Neilsen Orpilla Gazo, 14 Damien Memorial School, Grade 9 My mother is a woman who I am so proud of. She is one of a kind. She keeps me happy, safe, protected and nourished. She is always there when I need her. She loves me no matter what. Thank you mom for being my superhero,

John Lawrence Pagulayan, 9 Lanakila Baptist Elementary School, Grade 3 I have the best and most selfless mom in the world. I am so blessed to have a good mom. The greatest sacrifice my mom made for me is giving me her time. She take cares of me every day, sleeps late, gets up early in the morning to make breakfast and my school lunch, helps me get dressed, drives me to school and picks me up. When I was younger, I had a speech problem but my mom brought me every week to my speech class in Downtown. She had to miss work and sacrifice her time to drive me and make sure that I would get the help that I needed. Before I went to preschool, I spent my first two years staying with my mom at her office because she didn’t have a babysitter and my grandmom was too sick to watch me. My mom always cooks good food for me and my dad. She tells me to eat what she makes for dinner. Before, I used to pinch my nose and not like her food but she would remind me to eat it

Q: WHAT IS THE MOST MEMORABLE ... (from page S7)

grew even more happier. My sons are now grown up and in college. And my youngest Dannie is every mother’s dream. As a mother, I count my blessings every day and thank God that I was able to raise 3 wonderful children.

Aura Tedtaotao Branch Office Manager, Examination Mgt. Services, Inc. As a mother of boys ages 17 and 13, I can’t pinpoint a specific “memorable” thing that I've done. I can, however, say that the best thing that I have done and still doing for my boys is giving them over to the Lord and praying for them daily. As a mother, I cannot control the decisions that my kids make in their lives. But I do know that God is in control and He will always have the best in mind for my kids. His ways and plans are way better than my plans for my kids. So by faith, I pray and give my boys over to the God who holds their future. This to me, is the best thing I can ever do for my kids.

and to appreciate the blessings that God gave to our family. My mom is one of a kind! I love her every second of my life. She is always at my school if there are any big events to take pictures of me and to post it on Facebook. Sometimes, I ask her not to brag about my academic achievements but she does it anyway. I have a happy family, happy home and hardworking parents. I thank God for giving me my mom and so many other blessings. I want to do what Exodus 20:12 says—“Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Arnold Salacup, Jr., 13 Waipahu Intermediate School The most important thing mom did for me, being the only boy in the family, was giving me things that I wanted but by first earning it. I had to get good grades and study hard. I’m on my school’s Honor List and help my mom run errands and do other things that I can handle by myself. My mom teaches me family values like praying before meals and always respecting my elders and others, whether they are acquaintances or not.

S10  HAWAII FILIPINO CHRONICLE  SUPPLEMENT

GIFT IDEAs

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

Gift Ideas for Mother’s Day by Shalimar Pagulayan

o u ’ v e t r i e d flowers, taken her to her favorite restaurant, showered h e r w i t h chocolates and given her jewelry. So what else is there to give your mom for Mother’s Day? Plenty! You just have to be more creative and think outside of the box. A good starting place for never-before-thought-of gift ideas for mom can be found online. In fact, more shoppers nowadays are enjoying the benefits and wide selection available via online shopping websites.

stones, cutting boards, pillows and other household items mom is bound to love—all at affordable prices. No matter what family keepsake you buy from personalcreations.com, mom is sure to love whatever you get her. It may be a little late to order online for this Mother’s Day, but this website is definitely something to keep in mind for future Mother’s Day gifts. Other highly-recommended website for unique online gifts for mom is www.uncommongoods.com, which may be more expens i v e f o r m o m , o r www.gifts.com which conveniently has categories for gifts under $25, $50 and $100.

cial gift for mom would be ideal. An easy gift idea that children would enjoy making are cork vases that can also hold flowers, plants or a convenient place for mom to pin her favorite photos and keepsakes. All you need is an old can, spray paint, scissors, Online Shopping craft glue and a roll of cork At www.personalcre- Arts & Crafts ations.com, you can special For those with arts and from an arts and crafts store. To make a cork vase, folorder personalized mosaic crafts abilities, and the paflower pots, garden stepping tience to boot, making a spe- low these instructions: • Get an old can and make sure to wash t h o r o u g h l y. Peel off labels or other sticky areas. Allow to dry fully. • Spray paint the inside of the can, as well as the outside rim. This may require multiple coats. Let dry fully again. • Roll out your cork and place the bottom of your can at the end of the roll. Mark off the width of the can with a pencil and use a ruler to create a long straight line. Cut the length twice as long as you need. Then you can wrap the cork around twice to make it t h i c k e r f o r

spend a fortune or have culinary school training, so long as you’re willing to make mom a simple and delicious meal. No matter what you make, mom is bound to appreciate your gesture. For a successful spread on the table that mom will love, remember to include the following: • Salad: An interesting salad packed with bright veggies will stimulate appetites but also make it sticking pins in, etc. more appealing. The • At the end of the cut roll more colorful, the more of cork, run a thick bead she will like it and the of heavy duty craft glue. healthier the meal will Attach to can and begin tend to be. rolling, adding more glue • Entrée: Sticking to a as you go. basic protein will speed • At the end of your roll, up your kitchen time. add another thick bead of • Dessert: Chocolate is a glue and then pin or universal favorite and an clamp down with ideal dessert for Mother's clothespins until dry. Day. • When dry, you can add flowers, pencils, plants, Don’t know what to preor anything you can pare? Check out the easy-todream up. If using your m a k e r e c i p e s a t containers as vases, it is www.thekitchenmagpie.com. recommended to place a In summary, you don’t glass that is slightly have to spend a fortune preparsmaller inside the can to ing a meal that mom will love avoid leaks. or will take her breath away. Often it is the thought and efThe result is a lovely fort that counts. desk topper that mom will treasure long after Mother's Why Not the Filipino Fiesta? Day has passed. If your mom has always Whatever arts and craft wanted to attend community you make—jewelry, photo events like the Filipino Fiesta frames or even a custom and Parade, this may be the made t-shirt—make sure to year for her to finally do so. include a special poem or For a Mother’s Day treat, note conveying to mom how take her to enjoy the foods, much she means to you. A lot sights and sounds of the 3rd of times, a simple heartfelt Annual Flores De Mayo Fesnote to mom is all it takes to tival at the Kapiolani Bandwin her heart. stand on May 9, 2015. We all would love to A Delicious Meal spend a fortune on our mom For Mother’s Day, give (because she’s worth it) this mom a break from the Mother’s Day but our pockkitchen by preparing a spe- etbooks don’t always match cial meal for her. Making a our wants. Whatever you deMother’s Day meal may cide to do for mom this sound daunting to those lack- Mother’s Day, it doesn’t reing culinary skills, particu- quire spending a fortune to larly men—but it doesn’t tell her how much she means have to be. to you. A little thought, time In fact, you don’t need to and love are all it takes.

SUPPLEMENT  HAWAII FILIPINO CHRONICLE  S11

WhAT’s COOKING?

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

Mom's Favorite Dish by Chona Montesines-Sonido

here’s no doubt about it—dishes prepared by mom just taste better. One of my mom’s favorite recipes that she loved to cook for us when we were kids is spring rolls. I have put together the recipe from memory in the hopes that you will enjoy perhaps making it for Mother’s Day. The recipe is good for 24 pieces.

IngredIents: ½ pound pork loin ½ cup diced onion ¾ tsp. salt ¾ tsp. ground black pepper 4 pieces of garlic cloves, finely chopped or minced ½ cup shredded cabbage ½ cup julienned carrot ½ cup julienned yellow yam ½ cup julienned jicama ½ cup diced cauliflower ½ cup sliced string beans 30 spring roll wrappers, if needed Soybean or Canola oil, for frying 5 cups of water 1 tbsp. fish sauce 2 egg yolks, beaten Dipping Sauce 1 cup vinegar ½ tsp. salt 4 garlic cloves, minced ¼ tsp. ground black pepper

PrOCedUre: Boil the pork loin in 5 cups of water. Add the ½ tsp. of salt and ground pepper. Boil until the pork is cooked. Remove the pork and set it aside on a plate. Reserve the liquid. Slice the pork when completely cooled. Heat 6 tbsp. of soybean or canola oil in a deep pan over medium-high heat. Sauté the sliced pork until golden brown. Add onions and garlic until softened. Add the yellow yam first and sauté until softened, then add the carrots, cauliflower, string beans and jicama. Season using the remaining ¼ tsp. salt and ¼ tsp. ground pepper. Add the pork broth and bring to a simmer. Add the fish sauce and cook about 4 minutes. Taste and adjust the seasoning, if needed. Pour through a strainer to drain and cool it before wrapping in a pastry wrapper. Once

the filling is dry and cooled, it is ready to assemble and wrap. Place one whole pastry wrapper (lumpia wrap) on a flat surface with the corner pointed toward you. Place 4 tbsp. fillings onto the center of the square and wrap, folding the corner pointing toward you over the filling, and then fold the right and left sides over the filling and brush the edges with the beaten egg yolk to seal and finish wrapping it. Fill a frying pan over medium-high heat with ¼ to ½ cup soybean or canola oil. Once hot, fry the spring rolls, turning all sides until golden brown. Transfer the rolls in a strainer lined with a paper towel to drain the oil. In a separate bowl, prepare the dipping sauce by mixing 1 cup vinegar, minced garlic, salt and pepper to taste. Serve the fried spring rolls with the dipping sauce. Enjoy!

S12  HAWAII FILIPINO CHRONICLE  SUPPLEMENT

hEALTh & FAMILy

M OThER ’ s D Ay 2015

DoN’T SETTlE! RAISING CHILDREN WITH HIGH FQ by Rose Fres Fausto

on’t settle! I loved it when I first heard the speech of Steve Jobs during the graduation rites at Stanford University in 2005. It’s because I adhere to the principles he mentioned, particularly this one about not settling. What does “don’t settle” really mean? It means you will not accept something that is less than what you want. A very common Filipino expression is puede na which I’m not very fond of. The puede na mentality accepts something that is knowingly mediocre. Somehow this does not appeal to me as a standard way of doing things, of living my life. But let’s face it, applying “don’t settle” in all aspects of life all the time can be exhausting! I think this is even the basis of the have-it-all illusion that we propagate especially among young mothers. Let’s be careful, nobody wants to hang out with a super high-strung individual always exacting the most out of everything, ending up being an A-hole in the process. Remember that sometimes we let go of our usual standards on something

we could actually not settle for what is “normal” or what he was expecting to be normal at that time. And we knew that this kind of relationship was not something we could get overnight. It was something that we had to work on, take seriously, yet with a big dose of humor, and respect. Fortunately, after 25 years, we still profess to each other that love, not the same as it was at the beginning because it has grown a lot deeper and stronger, with the same (if not more) dose of romance, which we consciously and regularly put in our day-to-day encounters. It’s not always easy, but it’s so worth it; neither is it that hard because the love is there in the first place. So couples out there, if you want a happily ever after, don’t settle!

not because we are less than the next person, but because that thing is not that important to us. So how do we balance between not settling and not being exhausted? In my experience, I choose what is important to me. Let me share with you some of these chosen fields – the fields in which I don’t settle for anything less. 1. Marriage. To me this is the most important contract I’ve ever signed in my life! Early on I knew that I wanted to have a great marriage and I was willing to give it my best shot. I remember a conversation I had with my husband Marvin in the early part of our marriage, he said, “Hon don’t expect that we’d always be so in love as we are now ha? I just don’t want you to be disappointed.” But I countered with, 2. Parenting. Bringing a “But do you want us to child to this world is the become less loving in the most serious endeavor a future? I want us to be person could ever get this in love, if not more, into. Here’s the thing, if when we’re old and you choose to bring a life gray.” I was not referring into this world, you betto always being on cloud ter make sure you’re 9 but I was referring to bringing someone who the quality of our relawill make this world a tionship. We had an interbetter place. You have to esting discussion that led be fair to the child you’re to an agreement that yes, giving life to and the peo-

ple he/she will affect in the future, so to me parenting is serious stuff. My heart bleeds when I see street children begging for food and can’t help but hate the people who brought them to life for neglecting their serious and even divine obligation. And that, my friends, is the reason why I gave up my investment banking career. Bringing up a person involves a lot of facets that entails constant presence of the caregiver. It so happened that my job then, which I enjoyed and was proud of, didn’t allow me to be with them in a meaningful way on a daily basis. Something’s gotta give, and I decided it wasn’t going to be my boys. I wouldn’t settle for anything less than the best parenting I could give. Again, this entailed sacrifices and some what if thoughts. Today, I celebrate that decision of not settling on my parenting as I see them grown up. I can’t help but feel that they are not just God’s best gifts to me and Marvin, but also our best gifts to this world!

3. Self-development. My original vision of myself was that of a successful career woman, then no. 2 made me do a detour. Nonetheless, I made sure I didn’t settle for a less version of me. I continued to read, attend workshops. I even studied Art and Photography. I avoided teleseryes so as not to be melodramatic, I vowed to be a student for life. I continued to keep that vision of a great person even without an impressive calling card! And it was fun! Today I find myself busy with advocacies that allow me to affect others by sharing what I know and in the process allow me to continue developing as a person. Isn’t that great? So the next time, you find yourself settling for something less than what you want, ask yourself, “Does this mean a lot to me? Is it part of my core values?” If the answer is yes, then don’t settle. Keep searching, keep doing more, until you achieve what you really want. You will know. Your heart will tell you. (www.philstar.com)