ISSUE 03 $10
A Portion of Proceeds Donated to P.I.N.K. of Terre Haute
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Brave Mom's Clu b The Evolution of Bravery
I haven’t always been a member of the Brave Mom’s Club. In fact, when I became a mom, I was the exact opposite of brave: fearful, cautious and worried about what others thought of me. Six months into my pregnancy, I was told I had an aneurysm on my aorta near my heart. The anxiety that filled my days after was overwhelming. I managed to make it through a successful delivery, but I ended up with postpartum depression and that, coupled with the anxiety/fear of the aneurysm rupturing, sent me on a downward emotional spiral.
The day we found out, I was in complete and utter denial. Only six months had passed since heart surgery! I was so angry with God and I just didn’t understand. Unbelievably devastated and not at all ready to embark on yet another medical journey, I sat in tears on my sofa and let the anxiety and fear creep back in. There weren’t enough deep breaths for the what-ifs going through my head. The saving grace for me was my team of doctors. I was able to meet with two of them that day, and though treatment would be difficult, the idea that I could be cured - that this wasn’t a death sentence - made that “c word” a little less scary. So, with the help of many, I picked myself up, wiped away the tears, and put my fighting gloves back on. I started be-
Over the next five years, with hard work, a therapist, antianxiety meds, and A LOT of self-help books, I gradually recovered. My new self was dreaming big and had a passion for life. My relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and God were changing, in a good way. I finally felt like my life had a purpose. I wasn’t worrying about what others thought of me, instead I started believing in who I was and the dreams I had for myself. Eventually, I quit my teaching job, published a book, and started a small business, all with a vision to inspire others to “fear-less” and live more in the moment. I was happy and thankful...and things remained that way until a little over a year ago. That was when I was told I would need open heart surgery to repair my aneurysm. And without warning, all of the anxiety and fear I had worked so hard to overcome, returned. I was scared of everything; the surgery, of dying, for my daughter to grow up without a mom, for my husband to move on. My need to be in control of everything was at an all time high, so I began making lists and planning for my family. I planned a celebration for my life, wrote letters to my family and close friends, made lists of my favorite quotes, songs, and bible verses, spoke often of my love for them and the joy they brought to my heart. The scariest moment of my life was when they wheeled me away from them to the operating room. So when I woke up in the ICU after surgery, even though the pain was unimaginable, the relief I felt was indescribable. I had survived! I was alive! And I used that motivation to push me through recovery and rehab. Believe me, that part of the journey wasn’t easy, but I was ready to put this behind me, to be the mom and wife that God had set me out to be. Once again, I put my anxiety and fear to rest. I was happy and thankful...that is, until they told me I had breast cancer. Say what?!
lieving that everything I had been through, all I had learned up to this point served a purpose and that God hadn’t brought me this far to leave me now. My support network of family, friends, fellow artisans, shop owners, and many others I never met was, and is, unbelievable! With their help, I successfully completed eight chemotherapy treatments, a double mastectomy, and twenty-five radiation treatments. For two years, I have had to let others see, scan, biopsy, cut into, and take care of my body. That was hard, humiliating at times, especially since my outward body doesn’t look like it once did. But I’ve learned to embrace the new parts of me. When you’re stripped of all that makes you, you outwardly, you’re forced to really look at what makes you, you inwardly. What I want my daughter to see when she looks at me, scars and all, is a brave, strong woman. One who has been through a lot, but continues to remain optimistic; one who embraces the woman she has become and looks forward to what the future holds; someone she looks up to, she comes to for advice, she trusts; someone who has shown her that simply being who you are, being true to yourself, can in fact, change the world in some small way. A “brave mom” by my own definition. My hope for you today is that you will come up with your own “brave mom” definition. Maybe you’ve been on a similar journey, or maybe yours has looked completely different. Really, no matter how we are or were challenged, or what struggles lie ahead, all of our stories are oddly alike in one way or another. We all deserve to feel proud of where we’ve been, how far we’ve come, and all we’ve learned that makes this crazy, scary, fabulous life worth living every single day. As for me, I’m learning to let go of the guilt and pressure I’ve been putting on myself to figure out what to do next with my life. Some days you might find me sobbing on my closet floor or locked in the bathroom looking for a few alone moments of silence! But for the first time in a while, I have decided that is ok. That’s part of the new me I’m learning to embrace and accept. I remain hopeful that my story will bring encouragement and inspiration to all those I am blessed to share it with. I am happy and thankful...and ready to write a new chapter.
- Nicole Osborne
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Photography by Rachel Deal - Green Glass Photos
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Boss Lady: My Fly Life When we asked for a single mom submission for “Boss Lady”, I was thrilled to see that Michelle sent her story in for our review. I’ve known Michelle for a long time, and have followed her and her story for several years on social media, so I’m excited to share just a bit of her life with our readers. I thought her submission was so compelling, we decided to leave it in her own words. My hope is that other single moms who read her story can relate, and live out their dreams, just as Michelle has.
- Lori Mitchell
When I found out I was expecting a baby, I wouldn’t say I was filled with excitement as first time moms should be, but more fear. The father and I had known each other for five years, and although we were on and off again, we were off at the time. In my previous years, I was all about partying and bad decisions. I can’t honestly tell you that I was a good person, because I wasn’t. I only truly cared about myself…until the day I found out I was expecting. That positive test suddenly gave my life perspective. It was soon after that the father told me he didn’t want anything to do with us. I gave him the option of being a full-time father or a no-time father… he chose the latter. A week later, I stepped into Northview Christian Church in Carmel, IN for the first time. I was alone, I was scared, and I had no idea how I was going to handle this baby all by myself. Then the best thing happened: the sermon was on Jeremiah 29:11. I swear Pastor Steve was looking directly at me (keep in mind it’s a church of 3000 people), and said the words, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I was instantly in tears, and vowed that very day not only was I going to be a single mom, but I was going to raise this child with faith that I would do my best to give him the best life. Sure, we have family and great friends, but financially, mentally, and emotionally, it was going to be on me to give this baby boy a life he deserves…a life that was planned before I even existed. On September 22, 2010, Christian Russell Jarvis was born, and my life was changed at the sound of a cry. The last 6 years haven’t been the easiest… no one told me it would be. When Christian was 15 months old, he was diagnosed with two auto-immune deficiencies. We have had 13 hospitalizations, countless ER visits, fevers that would scare anyone - his highest was 107.2 - that would have been the scariest day. But we got through it. We always do, together. I worked a $12/ hour job, and promised to never go on any kind of assistance, because I wanted to show him what working hard meant. I always said he will have everything he needs, just maybe not everything he wants. Being a mom changes you, obviously, but it changed me in ways I never knew. This little man relies on me, he loves me - like a love you can’t put into words. I find it funny when people say, “I don’t know how you do it”, “I could never be a single mom”, or “you are so strong!” My answer to all of those is “I just do it.” I take one day at a time… and on those really special days, I take one breath at a time. As a single mom, you need to have an army behind you. Mine happens to be my parents, my sister, and my friends who have become family. Because of them, not only am I able to be a mom, but for two years now, live out my dream of becoming a flight attendant for one of the world’s biggest airlines. I was hired with Delta Air Lines after a 3 month, 5-part application and interview process. When I flew back from my last interview and told my family that I got the job, fear instantly set in. How are we going to do this?! I had wanted to be flight attendant for as long as I could remember, so when I had the opportunity to apply for one of the largest and most successful airlines in the industry, I had to jump on it. I never wanted any other airline and always told myself that if I ever did it, then it would only be for Delta. The next step was to begin a 7-week training in Atlanta. I can’t even explain the tears that were shed that day. I will never know how I managed to go away from my child for that long. We were required to pass 24 exams, all with a 90% or higher accumulative average, 400 airport codes, emergency evacuations on 15 types of aircrafts, and countless days of lectures. It was honestly harder than any college course I ever took. I not only passed, but somehow managed to get the highest scores in my section. I can only credit that to my drive to get through it, and get back to my child. The day we were reunited was so emotional. There’s nothing like a four-year-old tackling you in the middle of a hotel lobby, screaming “Mommy I missed you!” It was the best day. I have been based in New York for the last two years. That means before each trip that I work, I fly to New York to begin. I typically work three days a week, and once a month I am “on-call” for six days. On average, I am away from home
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15 days a month. The best thing about my job is that I don’t bring my work home with me. I go home and I am present. My schedule is up to me to plan and make it work for me. I have been able to see the world. I’ve been all over the United States, including Hawaii, as well as Amsterdam, Paris, London, Milan Italy, Barcelona, Madrid, and my favorite, Tel Aviv, Israel, just to name a few. The first time I saw the Eiffel Tower, I stood in front of it and cried. Not because of its beauty (and OH how I wish I could describe its beauty!), but because I never thought this single mom from Terre Haute, Indiana would be standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. It was the moment I realized that all my dreams have come true. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s really hard. But like all moms, I do what I have to do. If he is “healthy” (by our terms), feels loved, and HAPPY…I think I’m doing OK. Being a mom made me better… being a single mom made me stronger. The fear I felt 6 years ago no longer exists. What I’ve learned is that you don’t know what each day holds, so I teach my son to begin and end each day on a good note; the most important thing you can do for yourself and for others is to be kind. Being a single mom is really a gift that I’ve been given – it’s a feeling of pride and self-worth that I never knew before. With faith, my boy and I can get through and do anything!
- Michelle Jarvis
Photo by Lori Margason
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Baby Gifting: Sweet Gifts for the Littles HELLO SPRING...Grab your checklist and get a head start on your baby shopping at some of my favorite spots. - Yvette Morgan
Freshly Picked Moccasins freshlypicked.com
BluTaylor Head Wrap blutaylor.com
Rookie Humans Crib Bedding
rookiehumans.com
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Alyson Scarlett Personalized Baby Gifts etsy.com
Hapai Baby Wraps hapaiwraps.com
BrixtonPhoenix etsy.com
Darling Designz Children’s Clothing
darlingdesignz.com
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Gifts for Mom
Embossed Leather Bracelet - Available in women and girl’s sizes - Essential oils can be used on the bracelet randeavenue.com
Floral Robe
plumprettysugar.com
Bangle Bracelets Fab Fit Fun Subscription Box fabfitfun.com
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thejewelrybar.com
Initial Necklace
meadowbellemarket.etsy.com
Teething and Nursing Necklaces for the Stylish Mom thevintagehoneyshop.com
Things on my radar for Mother’s Day - Yvette Morgan
Thug Life T-Shirts thuglifeshirts.com
Tiny Silhouette Necklaces lepapierstudio.com
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Evie Mitchell - Age 8