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The Pulse - April Fools Edition

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“SISTERS BY CHANCE, FRIENDS BY CHOICE” On March 30, 2024, an anonymous source drove all the way to the Holmes-Seymour residence to deliver a life-changing DNA test. The contents of this envelope revealed information that would forever change the lives of both Ms. Falcon and Ms. Tantillo. With little similitude that ties these well-respected educators together, readers will be shocked to learn the real truth – Jessica Falcon and Nicole Tantillo are long lost sisters! As a ninth grader, I was still acclimating myself to the Harvey community. Even after I familiarized myself with the campus and administration, I continued to make the same mistake for most of the year. To me, Ms. Falcon and Ms. Tantillo looked identical, even when no one else could see it. This new account finally explains why. In addition to DNA tests, the envelope was composed of two birth certificates. Jessica and Nicole Gobbledygook were both born in Toad Suck, Arkansas. With a three-year age gap, these sisters spent the better part of a decade living in this quaint town.

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By Logan Kreisberg

Until one day, the lives of the Gobbledygook clan were turned upside down. Following a prodigious divorce between Jessica and Nicole’s parents, the sisters were separated and forced to move to opposite sides of the country. Their surnames might have changed, but their bond remained strong. When Ms. Falcon and Ms. Tantillo first arrived at The Harvey School, they immediately became fast friends. Outside of school, Falcon and Tantillo can be found trimming their bobs at the local hair salon or enjoying Arkansawyeran food in Katonah.

When this article comes out, Ms. Falcon and Ms. Tantillo will have journeyed back to Toad Suck, Arkansas. This retreat will allow them to explore their roots and strengthen their bond of sisterhood. If you are a student in Falcon or Tantillo’s classes, The Pulse asks you to be mindful that Tantillo and Falcon will revert their surnames back to Gobbledygook once they return. Keep calm and Gobbledygook on!

Last night, Falcon and Tantillo were called into Mr. Lazzaro’s office, where the news was revealed to them. According to Ms. Falcon, “Tears flooded down our faces while we shared an embrace. I can’t believe I finally found my sister again!” Ms. Tantillo, on the other hand, was still a little skeptical. While leaving the meeting, Tantillo yanked a strand of Falcon’s hair and brought it to the Chemistry Lab. There, she performed an additional DNA examination. Ms. Tantillo explained, “When I initially left the meeting, I was in shock. I wasn’t even able to process the information until I conducted the test myself in the Harvey lab.”

Taken and photoshopped by Logan Kreisberg. Image of Ms. Falcon (left) and Ms. Tantillo (right), the pair of Gobbledygook siblings basking in their sisterly love.

RIGOR WITH HEART

Passion for Learning. Respect. Integrity. Determination. Excellence.

THE HARVEY SCHOOL | 260 JAY STREET, KATONAH NY


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