the pulse THE PULSE | APRIL 1, 2025 ISSUE
MR. MORSE’S BRAT SUMMER By Benjamin Cutler One man exited the Harvey campus in June 2024 with an emptiness and a gray spot in his heart, searching for a purpose beyond the U.S. Constitution and the Napoleonic Wars. On Sept. 4, 2024, that same man returned to these hallowed Katonah halls a changed soul, walking into Room 9 in a green puffer jacket stretching down to his knees and rocking shades that perfectly partnered his wicked smirk. Surprising absolutely no one, Mr. Morse experienced the “Brat” Summer that fed generations across the globe, but it did not quite touch anyone as hard as the princess marshmallow who rejects toxic masculinity and deeply embraces how fetch he truly is. Not only did he immerse himself in Charli XCX’s “Brat” album, but he was also inspired by this British queen to take a ride to Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club,” take a sip of Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso,” and take Billie Eilish out for “Lunch.”
All of a sudden, once he became a “Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl,” he began giving his brightest students the toughest DBQs of all, including the million-dollar question, “Which side of the American Civil War was more ‘Brat?’ Support your reasoning with three Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan gossip stories.” All in all, it is safe to say that Mr. Morse’s Brat Summer has become a schoolwide “Femininomenon,” inspiring even the hardcore Buffalo Bills superfan Mr. Lazzaro to embrace his more graceful side on and off the dance floor. So, next time you stop by the sparkling, scandalocious “Pink Pony Club” that is Room 9, feel free to tell Brat Morse that he is so Julia. Needless to say, he feels so much lighter like a “Feather” with his old self off his mind.
Concerning the hairs circling his face after Winter Break, known as a goatee, Mr. Morse told The Pulse, “This was just one minor example of how I have become one with the ‘Brat’ way of life, trying new things, new looks, new styles, and such.” Additionally, while he was already a Dunkin’ fiend before his “360” degree transformation, even just getting a “Taste” of Sabrina Carpenter’s “Nonsense” inspired him to switch his daily order from taking a “HOT TO GO!” coffee to a shot of that Morse “Espresso.” As many Upper School students can attest – such as 11th grader Gary Napoli with a fascination for security – Mr. Morse has been handing out rather surface-level history tests and essays, a major example being when he asked his AP U.S. History students their thoughts on the Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef.
PAGE PAGE 11
Mr. Morse coming onto campus for the first time after his "Brat" adventures. Kiss courtesy of Reese Witherspoon. Photo taken by future "Brat" star Mr. Coscio.
THE HARVEY SCHOOL | 260 JAY STREET, KATONAH NY