interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 1
4/3/19 2:58 PM
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 2
4/3/19 2:58 PM
JENNIFER BLECHER
Greenwillow Books
an Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 3
4/3/19 2:58 PM
This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used to advance the fictional narrative. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Out of Place Text copyright © 2019 by Jennifer Blecher. Illustrations copyright © 2019 by Merrilee Liddiard All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Printed in the United States of America. For information address HarperCollins Children’s Books, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007. www.harpercollinschildrens.com The text of this book is set in Goudy Old Style. Book design by Sylvie Le Floc’h Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Blecher, Jennifer, author. Title: Out of place / written by Jennifer Blecher. Description: New York, NY : Greenwillow Books, an imprint of HarperCollins publishers, [2019] | Summary: Twelve-year-old Cove Bernstein yearns for her best friend, Nina, who moved to New York City, but with unlikely new friends, Cove discovers that life on Martha’s Vineyard can be pretty good. Identifiers: LCCN 2018035033 | ISBN 9780062748591 (hardcover) Subjects: | CYAC: Best friends--Fiction. | Friendship--Fiction. | Creative ability—Fiction. | Single-parent families—Fiction. | Moving, Household—Fiction. Classification: LCC PZ7.B61658 Out 2019 | DDC [Fic]—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018035033 19 20 21 22 23 CG/LSCH 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First Edition Greenwillow Books
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 4
4/3/19 2:58 PM
To Ella, Olivia, and Aven
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 5
4/3/19 2:58 PM
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 6
4/3/19 2:58 PM
41.342807, -70.743469. That’s where I live in numbers. Every place on this earth has an address in numbers. It’s so people who don’t speak the same language can tell each other where they live. So they can find each other anywhere in the world. But that doesn’t make any sense, because how would they even ask the question in the first place? How could someone who speaks Chinese ask someone who speaks French where they live and expect an answer? “Just drop it please, Cove,” says Mom when I try and explain how the whole idea is flawed. That’s my name. Cove. Cove Bernstein.
i
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 1
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
“No, it’s cool,” says her boyfriend. His name is Sean, and he’s the reason we’re even having this conversation. Because if Sean’s allowed to come to breakfast without a shirt on, then I’m allowed to ask why he has long numbers tattooed up and down his arm. Sean tells me that the numbers represent all the important places he’s been in his life. He goes down his arm saying the names. Bali. India. Thailand. Hawaii. Sean has been a lot of places. I have only been here. On this island. Martha’s Vineyard. Sean does not have the numbers for Martha’s Vineyard on his arm. I think that’s one reason why Mom slams her bowl into the sink and says, “Can we please stop talking about numbers.” But I have one more question. “Why didn’t you just use the real names? That way people would know where you’ve been.”
ii
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 2
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
Sean shrugs his bare shoulders and leans back in his chair so that he’s balancing on the two rear legs. It’s weird to see him sitting in our kitchen chairs, the way his large body covers the entire wood frame so he looks like a genie floating on air. I’m used to seeing Mom sitting in those chairs, or my best friend, Nina. They both like to crisscross their legs on the seat, only Mom sits up very straight and rests her hands in her lap. Nina kind of slumps over and twists her long hair. But both Mom and Nina take up the right amount of space on the chair. Not like Sean. Although Sean does answer my question, which is not something Mom always does. “I just like keeping some things to myself,” he says. “If people know where you’ve been, they start thinking they can predict where you’ll go next.” Last night I heard Mom yelling at Sean. She called him stupid and naive and irresponsible. But this morning at breakfast, I decide that Sean’s actually pretty smart. He knows about patterns. How things can
iii
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 3
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
fit together and become something new, something totally different from what they used to be when they were all alone. When they were just individual pieces. I think Sean would understand why I did what I did. I think he would get it. For a second I almost tell him. But I can’t tell anyone. Not yet.
iv
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 4
4/3/19 2:58 PM
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 5
4/3/19 2:58 PM
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 6
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Three Months Earlier
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 7
4/3/19 2:58 PM
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 8
4/3/19 2:58 PM
July
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 9
4/3/19 2:58 PM
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 10
4/3/19 2:58 PM
1 “I am the sky,” says Mom as we wait behind a line of cars trying to pull into the Artists Market dirt parking lot. “I am the sky and this traffic is the rain. Remember that, Cove. You are the sky. Whatever is happening is just the weather. It will pass.” “I know,” I say. Mom is always saying things like that. Whenever something bad happens, she pretends like it’s not actually happening. The bad thing is just a passing rainstorm or a star shooting through the night sky. Sometimes I try to think the way she does, but it never works.
1
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 1
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
When something bad happens, it gets stuck inside me. Like when we got our yearbooks at the end of school and I found out that Hunter Gilford put bunny ears over my head in the class picture. I try to imagine that Hunter’s grinning face is being taken away on the back of a stinking garbage truck and dumped into the island trash heap underneath a pile of rotting vegetables. But then I remember that every single person at my school has a copy of the picture, that Sophie and Amelia even circled the bunny ears in black Sharpie because they thought it was so funny, and his face comes right back. Hunter’s happy grin lands in my brain, and there’s nothing I can do to make it leave. I look out our truck window. It’s hot and dry today, which means that the Artists Market where Mom sells her inspirational quotes is going to be crowded with people stopping by on their way to the beach. They’ll be wearing big sunglasses and carrying plastic cups of iced coffee that will leave wet circles on Mom’s table.
2
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 2
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
Mom will smile and act like those wet circles are no big deal, like they’re just raindrops falling from the sky. But she’ll wipe them up as soon as the people walk away. Maybe that’s what Mom should really be saying about bad things. That you have to wipe them away or else they leave marks. We finally get through the traffic, and Mom drives our truck onto the grass so that we can unload. It’s one of my favorite parts of the day, getting to pull our truck into the special area that’s reserved for outdoor artists. The ground is bumpy underneath our tires, and I unbuckle my seat belt since we’re not on a real road. Sometimes, if we hit a bump at just the right speed, my entire body lifts off the seat and I feel like I’m floating. I feel it deep in my stomach, like maybe I’ll keep going up, up, up. I always come back down, of course. Gravity and all that. But for one second it feels like I won’t. Like I’ll get to stay floating forever.
3
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 3
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
The other outdoor artists wave as we pass. Linda, who paints enormous oil paintings of the ocean. Charleston, who makes animal sculptures out of silverware, like birds with fork prongs for wings and pigs with spoons for bellies. Joyce, who sells wool hats even though it’s summer and just looking at the thick hats makes me feel hot and itchy. Mom’s table is at the end of a row. I get my folding chair out of the back of the truck and put it next to her table as she arranges her quotes. Mom doesn’t sit down because she likes to maintain an aura of welcomeness so people feel comfortable coming up to her table to browse. But she lets me bring a chair. Otherwise I end up leaning my elbows on the table and that messes up the aura. Aura is very important to Mom, especially when she’s selling her quotes. The quotes are words that she writes in fancy cursive with a thick pen that has bristles on the end like a paintbrush. When they’re dry, she
4
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 4
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
puts the quotes in painted frames. Sometimes the words Mom writes make people cry. That is a good thing, even though it sounds bad. The crying person will give Mom a long hug and buy the quote. But most people just pick the quotes up and squint their eyes a little, like they’re having trouble reading the words. They’ll check the back of the frame before putting the quote down on the table. I don’t know why they look at the back. There’s nothing there. But they always do. My official job is to help when Mom gets busy. I’m supposed to go back to our truck to get more quotes or count out change. But it’s hardly ever busy. So that gives me time to listen. I love summer. Everything’s so easy. This is the life. The sun feels divine. Simply divine. Which beach should we go to this afternoon? Norton Point? Long Point? Squibnocket? Can I please get an icy? Please? Pleeaase? I hear that last one a lot. That’s because Mom’s
5
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 5
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
table is right next to Delphina the icy lady’s table. Even though it’s technically an artists market, Delphina’s allowed to sell her icies because everyone on the island loves Delphina. She’s round, just like the huge yellow tub that she scoops her raspberry lemonade icies from, and she has long curly hair that she wraps in colorful string. When I was younger, some of the summer girls would smile at me while they waited in line to get an icy. They’d say, “Ah, you’re so cute. What’s your name?” Sometimes they would pat my head, like I was a cat. I know that sounds kind of mean, but it wasn’t. It always made me smile. No one does that to me anymore. I guess that’s what happens when you get older. Or when you’re me. But the good part is, when people don’t notice me, I notice them more and more. The summer girls wear thin rubber flip-flops. Their toenails are painted pink and turquoise and dark blue. They wear T-shirts with words in sparkly letters. Girl
6
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 6
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
Power. Dance Diva. Too Cool for School. They carry their phones in cases that have ears like a bunny. Or a panda bear. Today one is a Hello Kitty. I notice all the things I don’t have. But I do have Nina. And she doesn’t have any of those things, either. But that’s not why we’re best friends. We’re best friends because when we see each other, everything else fades away. Like now, Nina walks out of Grange Hall on the other side of the Artists Market and waves at me. She spins around a post on the covered front porch and I know just what to do. I tell Mom I’ll be right back and run through the crowds to the spinning wheel at the playground. Nina meets me there. We each grab a handle and push as hard as we can. Then we jump on, lay on our backs, and look up at the sky. The trees blur together and the clouds blur together and our bodies blur together and we spin into the same person. But as we spin, Nina doesn’t say anything. Not
7
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 7
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
even when I tell her about the Hello Kitty phone case. I sit up because the wheel has slowed. I’m dizzy from looking up at the clouds, so at first I don’t notice. I don’t notice that she’s crying. “Do you know?” she asks. Because that’s another thing that happens when we spin—our thoughts combine so we can tell what the other person is thinking. So I should know why she’s crying. I always have before. But I don’t. That’s the first terrible thing that happens. The second terrible thing is she tells me. “We’re moving.” “What?” “We’re moving away. Off island. To New York City.” “You can’t.” “I know,” says Nina. “But we are. My dads just told me this morning. It’s the stupid paintings. Some
8
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 8
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
important art guy saw them and he wants to hang them in his gallery in New York City. Dad thinks it’s a oncein-a-lifetime opportunity for Papa and that we have to be there to make the most of it. That’s how they talk all of a sudden. Like moving to New York City is the most exciting thing ever and if we don’t go, the entire world will explode.” Nina’s papa, Toby, is a painter. He used to paint lots of things, like the Edgartown Lighthouse and the Aquinnah Cliffs. The Flying Horses Carousel in Oak Bluffs and the fishing huts in Menemsha. Normal island things, like a lot of the other painters at the Artists Market. Then Toby started to paint Nina. Not her actual self, but a combination of shapes that Toby pieces together. The shapes are different colors and textures, but somehow they combine to make Nina. Her long blond hair and pointy chin. Her wide blue eyes. That’s when Toby had to move to a bigger corner stall inside Grange Hall because people wanted to stop
9
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 9
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
and talk to him. They started buying Ninas. Lots of them. And Nina’s dad, Clark, stopped working on sailboat engines at the marina and became the one who picked us up at school because Toby was busy painting. “You’re going to be famous,” I say. “But I’m going to be gone,” says Nina. “I don’t want to be gone. Will you spin me?” I nod. I need to move. I grab a hard metal handle and run as fast as I can. Because I can’t look at Nina’s face. Her soon-to-be-famous face.
10
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 10
4/3/19 2:58 PM
2 After the Artists Market closes, I go to Nina’s house. I need to stay close to her, like if I let her out of my sight she’ll disappear. We are lying on the floor of her bedroom surrounded by clothes. We’re supposed to be making piles. One for clothes to take to New York City, another for clothes that don’t fit anymore. Instead, we are looking at the book, even though we’ve already read it one million times. Even though we know what all the pages say. The book appeared on Nina’s bed at the beginning of the summer. Nina’s dads didn’t say anything about
11
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 11
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
it, we just found it on her pink-and-white quilt with a Post-it note stuck to the cover that said: Let us know if you have any questions! There was a heart at the bottom so we knew Clark had written the note. It was a very bad heart. Toby’s heart would have been much better. There are lots of funny parts of the book. There are drawings of a girl with enormous eyes blowing brown clouds out of her mouth because she’s forgotten to brush her teeth and a girl balancing wobbly books on her head because she’s trying to walk with good posture. But those aren’t the parts we care about. We care about the other parts. The changing body parts. There’s one page in particular that Nina is obsessed with. It’s the page with the bras. “I would choose this one,” says Nina, pointing to a drawing of a light-blue bra with green polka dots. The bra looks like two triangles held together in the front by a tiny bow. There are other bra choices. A pink one in the shape of a tank top, only without the stomach
12
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 12
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
part. A green one with ruffled trim around the edges. A white one with pink straps that cross in the back. But Nina always chooses the light-blue polka-dot bra. “I think that one would look good on you,” I say. “You really think so? Can you check me?” I turn to the page that comes before the bras. Along the bottom are five drawings of a girl standing in front of a bathroom mirror. She’s not wearing a shirt, which is weird, but the whole point of the drawings is to see how her body changes. In the first drawing, she has no boobs at all and her hair is wrapped up in a towel. But by the last drawing, she’s got huge boobs and her hair has grown long and flowing. The words under the drawings say that it takes five years to grow from drawing one to drawing five. But the words don’t say when the growing starts. That’s the thing about the book. It thinks it explains everything, but it leaves out all the important parts. Nina pulls her shirt tight and turns sideways so I
13
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 13
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
can look. “What do you think?” she asks. Her shirt is perfectly flat the whole way down her chest. “I think you’re still at one.” “Are you sure? Can I see the chart again?” Nina likes charts and numbers. She likes the way things fit together—old boat engine parts that Clark brings home, school math challenges that only work when every step is correct, one-thousand-piece puzzles that she seals with glue and stacks under her bed. “What about me?” I ask. I turn sideways and pull my shirt down tight. I’m nervous, because I really want her to say I’m at one, too. Her eyes move from my shoulders, to my belly button, and back up again. I can almost feel my chest tingling, like it’s threatening to burst through at that very moment. “One,” she says. “Definitely one.” I’m so relieved that I start to laugh. Then Nina starts to laugh. I don’t know why we’re laughing, it’s just what happens when we’re together. Soon we’ll put the book
14
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 14
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
back in her pile of old stuffed animals, where we keep it tucked in between Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle. We’ll put on our bathing suits and run across the spiky crabgrass in her backyard to Eel Pond. We’ll jump into the cool water, feeling the tiny air bubbles tickle the inside of our noses, and our hair spread out weightless around us. We’ll be mermaids, do handstand contests on the sandy bottom, or just float on our backs. Except Nina stops laughing. “But what do you think I should do now, when it happens?” she asks. “I don’t know,” I say. “What do you think I should do?” When we were laughing, I could forget. Now, I remember. The sounds coming from downstairs aren’t just Clark and Toby moving furniture; they’re the sounds of them packing boxes. Nina’s leaving and everything is ruined. Because there’s something else about those bras in
15
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 15
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
the book. They aren’t just floating in the air. The bras are on fancy padded hangers with dangling price tags. The girls trying them on are standing in dressing rooms with thick purple curtains hanging from golden rods. In one dressing room, a mom is hooking the white bra with the crossing pink straps behind her daughter’s back. In a second dressing room, a girl is holding the green bra with the ruffle trim while her mom is holding the pink tank top one. And Nina’s light-blue polka-dot bra? That bra is in a third dressing room where a mom is adjusting the strap on her daughter’s shoulder. The thing is, the book doesn’t say what to do if you live on an island where there’s no bra store with thick purple curtains. Or if you don’t have a mom. If you have two dads instead. Or if you have a mom like mine. But that didn’t matter because Nina and I figured out a solution on our own. We would go bra shopping together. When the time came, we were going to ask Nina’s dads to take us off island to Target. We were going
16
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 16
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
to tell them that we needed to get something important from the book, so they’d probably know what it was but not ask too many questions. Target is where Molly’s mom took Molly to buy bras. Molly said there’s a Starbucks in the front of the store. That’s where I picture Nina’s dads waiting, drinking coffee, while Nina and I go to the back section, just like Molly described. Molly said Target has so many racks of bras that the straps get tangled together like fishing wire. She said when you pull one bra out to see what it looks like, ten more bras come trailing along with it. And once you find a shape you like, you still have to choose the color. Molly’s mom only let her pick between tan and white. But since Nina and I were going together, we would choose way better colors than that. There’d be no one there to stop us. It would be just the two of us, like always. And we’d figure it out together. Or we would have. If Nina wasn’t leaving.
17
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 17
4/3/19 2:58 PM
3 An hour later I am sitting on the wood dock that leads from Nina’s backyard into Eel Pond. My feet are dangling in the clear water. Tiny minnows swirl around my toes. The name Eel Pond sounds icky, like something might swim up and wrap its slimy body around my feet at any minute. But Eel Pond is nothing like that. It’s one of my favorite places on the entire island. Clang. Clang. Clang. The old bell that stands on a wooden pole next to Nina’s house rings out. Three rings means dinner’s ready. Usually the bell sounds
18
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 18
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
happy, like it’s bouncing off its iron shell, excited to do its one job of the day. But tonight it sounds sad. Like it’s trapped. Like the bell knows it’s being left behind. “Dinner!” I yell to Nina. Except she can’t hear me because she’s underwater. When her head pops up above the surface, I try again. This time she hears. “Let’s do one more round,” she says, wiping the water from her eyes. “Just a quick one.” “Okay,” I say. My stomach is rumbling, but I hate the thought of going inside. “You go first. I’ll follow.” We are playing mermaid sisters, which is like regular swimming except with special chin-tucked dives and joined-leg kicks. My favorite part is going under the water and feeling it flow over the top of my head and down my body. Because when I do that, I don’t think about anything except arching my back and coming up for air. Nina dives in front of me, her pointed toes making tiny splashes as she kicks herself down. Usually we only
19
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 19
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
go to where the water lines up with the edge of her backyard. About nine dives. But Nina gets to nine and keeps going. I don’t know if she realizes how far she’s gone. I don’t call out for her to stop. All I think about is staying close. Diving down, arching up. The water flowing through my hair and over my body. When Nina finally pauses, we are almost three houses away. We rub the water from our eyes and I see exactly where we are—outside of Sophie’s house. Sophie is one of the meanest girls at our school. She wasn’t always that way. Last summer she’d swim over to Nina’s dock and play mermaid sisters. But she’d never do that now. To make things worse, Sophie’s with her best friend, Amelia. They are sitting on Sophie’s back porch. There’s a plastic bucket between them and their legs are covered in white shaving cream. They take turns passing a razor back and forth. The razor leaves behind a stripe of shiny skin as it moves up their legs. “Let’s go back,” says Nina. “They don’t see us.”
20
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 20
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
I nod. “Swim for as long as you can underwater. Don’t come up until you have to.” But as I take a deep breath to fill my lungs, Sophie calls out: “Hey, Nina. Is it true that you’re moving to New York City?” Nina and I look at each other, trying to decide what to do. We could turn away and swim back to Nina’s dock. We could fill our cheeks with water, run to the shore, and spit a long stream of Eel Pond right into their faces. But that’s not the way it works with Sophie and Amelia. Their eyes are so steady they make us feel trapped, like we really are mermaids who’ve been caught in a net. “I’m totally jealous,” says Amelia. “Me, too,” says Sophie. “Everybody lives there. You’ll probably run into tons of celebrities on your very first day.” “Maybe,” says Nina. Nina’s legs slow. I don’t know if she realizes that
21
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 21
4/3/19 2:58 PM
J E N N I F E R
B L E C H E R
she’s drifting closer to shore. I have to paddle to stay by her side. “And I bet you’ll be super popular at your new school,” says Amelia. “Everyone’s going to think you’re way exotic.” Sophie bunches her eyebrows together, confused. But even from the water I can see something brewing in Amelia’s eyes. Then Amelia says, “I mean, how else are you gonna explain the fact that you act like you’re from a different planet.” “OMG,” says Sophie, laughing. “Tell everyone you just moved from Planet Loser. They’ll all love you! It’s too bad you can’t bring your pet dog Rover with you. That would complete the look perfectly.” Nina freezes. The water around her stills. Slowly her forehead drops under the surface, the ends of her hair floating above. There’s a rocking from under the water. It hits my feet, my legs, my stomach. My arms lift as the water around me becomes choppy. I have to close my eyes because of the splashing. So I don’t see
22
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 22
4/3/19 2:58 PM
Out of Place
the moment when Nina springs, but I feel its force. When I open my eyes, Nina is on the shore. She runs across Sophie’s backyard and lifts the plastic bucket. I can tell it’s heavy because Nina rocks back for a second before she raises it. There is a moment when the foamy, dirty gray water floats in the air. Then it lands in Sophie’s and Amelia’s laps. And all I hear are screams.
23
interior Out Of Place 3p.indd 23
4/3/19 2:58 PM