8th September 2013 Sunday Magazine

Improving Dental Health

New facility offers state-of-the-art dental care

The newly established Jagan Dental Centre, has opened its doors for all to have access to affordable and highest levels of dental care in Guyana. The centre, headed by Dr Clive Jagan, a veteran dentist with more than 35 years of experience, promises to offer complete family care with a modern, state-of-theart facility.

Located on Lamaha and Light streets, the dental centre is equipped with a specialised laser, implant, and cosmetic clinic that utilizes digital x-rays and intra-oral cameras and digital photography, and allows for expert evaluation and precise planning of any dental procedure.

The centre is also operated by Dr Clive’s sons: Dr Shane A. Jagan, Dr Kyle V. Jagan, and Dr Ian N. Jagan – all experts in dental care. In an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, Shane Jagan pointed out that the centre is highly committed to offering the best level of dental care. He added that the staff knows that empathy and expertise are vital in helping patients to feel at ease, and this is what they provide in their pain-free dental experience.

“We educate our patients on the various dental procedures including daily oral hygiene, care, and diet. We also advise them on the most efficient oral hygienic products so as to have a confident smile. As a dental centre, we have established

different management systems to ensure quality dentistry, comfort and pain free dentistry,” he disclosed.

Shane mentioned that himself, his brothers and father have seen a vital need for proper dental care in Guyana and are happy to be offering that at the centre.

“As dentists, we offer compassion and empathy to our patients. We explain the treatment process because we want them to feel at ease with us. Our prices are not exorbitant. Some may see the centre’s build-

ing and conclude because it looks fancy it’s expensive. However, I can assure you that it is not. Our aim is to offer international standards at affordable prices to our Guyanese people. This is our way of giving back to our community,” he noted.

The dentist explained that the dental sterilization standards at the centre ensure the highest quality of dental treatment, and provide global benchmarked quality, where minimal bacterial counts are desired. In the interest of best patient

care, the centre strictly adheres to international standards for sterilization, to prevent the spread of infections.

The strict sterilization procedures include soaking: all instruments after use are dipped in an antiseptic solution ensuring safety of both the patient as well as the health care provider; scrubbing: using sterile

autoclave which is a device used to sterilize equipment by subjecting them to high pressure saturated steam.

Clinical services offered are dental bleaching, laser dentistry, cosmetic dentistry, implantology (implants), endodontics (root canals), prosthodontics (dentures, crown and bridge, veneers), pedodontics (children's dentistry), periodontics (gum

expert. He is a compassionate doctor who guarantees advanced treatment in solving all his patients’ dental problems.

Another focal service offered at Jagan Dental Centre is preventative dentistry. These are steps taken by the dentists to ensure that their patients’ teeth remain healthy and decay free, along with good gum health. Preventive dentistry in adults involves routine periodic dental check up, filling and sealing pits and fissures in teeth that may decay in the future, topical fluoride application in children, and periodic cleaning to prevent gum disease in adults.

“Jagan Dental Centre aspires to be the pioneers of dental tourism in Guyana, that is, providing dental services at a fraction of the cost as charged in other countries. Our expertise and efficiency has made it possible for us to be on the map for dental tourism. We have one objective in mind: to ensure our patients get the professional and personal attention they deserve. Our efficient and warm team of dentists and staff work hard to make our patients’ experience an enjoyable one. The centre’s ambience, qualified staff, and advanced dental facilities promise a comfortable dentistry experience in

brushes to remove debris; ultrasonic sterilizer, which uses ultrasonic vibrations to shake off debris while killing bacteria; packaging: all instruments are packed in sterilization rolls and heat sealed; and autoclaving: international standards require the use of a class B

surgeries, scaling, and much more), and oral surgery (extractions). Other popular services provided are teeth whitening, teeth jewellery and smile designing.

In the areas of implantology and laser dentistry, Kyle V. Jagan is the dental

Guyana,” Shane Jagan assured.

Jagan Dental Centre’s staff also includes three dental assistants, a dental technician, a receptionist, and a sanitation in-charge. For more information on the Jagan Dental Centre, call 226-0400.

Fossil evidence indicates sea turtles shared Earth with dinosaurs more than 210 million years ago, giving sea turtles the title, “dinosaurs of the ocean”. Sea Turtles are the ultimate lesson in ecology – everything is connected due to their inhabiting and using both land and ocean. If sea turtles become extinct, both the marine and land ecosystems will weaken, which will also weaken humans interaction with these systems. For these reasons, sea turtles are worth saving, and the Guyana Marine Turtle Conservation Society works to do just so.

in some instances buying eggs and turtles from hunters.

This conservation work continues today, with several members of the James’ family involved, as well as members of the surrounding Santa Rosa, Waramuri and Almond Beach communities. In April 2000, GMTCS was formally established. The co-founders were Dr Peter Pritchard, Audley James and Annette Arjoon, who was hired as project coordinator.

Projects

Recognising the importance of focusing on habitat and ecosystem management for species protection, as

tagged. In 2007, nesting activity increased to 2,341 individuals, and this has been the highest number recorded to-date.

Nesting activities still continue to vary, explaining why GMTCS works closely with local fishermen, trawler owners, GDF Coast Guard and the ministry of agriculture’s fisheries department, to help minimise the risk of incidental capture of sea turtles in fishing nets, which is now one of the biggest threats to sea turtles.

GMTCS assisted the formation of four fisheries subcommittees in various sea turtle using communities to

GMTCS history

In 1962, then a PhD student, renowned sea turtle biologist and conservationist Dr Peter Pritchard, undertook studies of biology and conservation of marine turtles at Shell Beach. In the early years, the initiative concentrated on documentation of species, numbers of nesting turtles and their fate and collecting series of voucher specimens, especially skulls, of sea turtles killed by hunters for their meat and eggs. But in 1988 it progressed into a successful pilot project, (The Sea Turtle Project) demonstrating that it is possible to bring about major conservation gains and protection of endangered species by working with communities harvesting sea turtles.

Dr Pritchard, along with Audley James, a converted sea turtle hunter, would appeal to fishermen and local residents to stop turtle hunting and egg collecting;

well as the need to address sustainable livelihoods for local communities, GMTCS has identified and has been working in sea turtle monitoring and conservation; education and awareness; research, sustainable livelihood development and promoting Shell Beach as a protected area.

Sea turtle monitoring and conservation is accomplished through field camps covering main nesting sites, manned by local and former sea turtle hunters, as a means of gaining an alternative source of income to sea turtle harvesting. Nightly patrols deter persons from killing sea turtles for meat, and egg poaching.

GMTCS’ efforts are evident through the number of turtles tagged along approximately 3-4km of the 120km beach. In 1965, GMTCS tagged just four Leatherback turtles compared to 2012 where 471 individuals of all four species of marine turtles were

address the issue of sea turtle by-catch. A temporary no-netting zone is established yearly around main sea turtle nesting sites during the peak season, in collaboration with Ministry of Agriculture.

Throughout the years, GMTCS has also established environmental camps that bring groups of youths, teachers and parents from schools in the north-western region of Guyana to learn and participate in the conservation efforts. Upon returning to their respective areas, participants have formed environmental clubs, and later hired as sea turtle wardens. They also currently occupy leadership roles in their communities.

Recognising that the success of conservation at Shell Beach will depend on the empowerment of local communities, as well as improving the social condition of local user communities, GMTCS is looking at sustainable economic proj-

ects for these communities, which have centred on handicraft, embroidery, organic products and tourism.

As communities in and around Shell Beach have limited options for income generation and thus often turn to other resources, including sea turtle meat for both income and subsistence, in 2004, GMTCS launched North West Organics (NWO), a geographic branding used to market products from user communities along the Waini River in the Shell Beach study area.

Communities of upper, middle and lower Waini, Warapoka and Hossorroro were involved in the harvesting and production of NWO products. This line of products currently includes Crabwood oil, handmade soaps, cassava cassareep and cocoa sticks. Profits from the sale of North West Organics have already contributed significantly to their development.

GMTCS has also assisted the formation of Moruca Embroidery, a sewing group of women and young girls from the Santa Rosa and Waramuri communities. The group produces hats, bags, pillow cases and tea towels embroidered with local flora and fauna, especially the four species of sea turtles. This project brings an alternative source of income into fishermen’s home.

Shell Beach is recognised nationally as an area warranting protected areas for its ecological and cultural diversity. After continuous advocacy by GMTCS, the Government of Guyana

declared Shell Beach a protected area in October 2011.

Challenges

“Sea turtles continue to be harvested at Shell Beach, and sold in communities, but at a reduced rate. This makes education and awareness and continual engagement with communities a necessity. We have seen that there's more awareness and appreciation of sea turtles, especially among youths in communities. Unfortunately, we have a lack of continuous funding. Currently, most of our activities are project based, which hampers effective long term planning and sustainability of activities undertaken. However, GMTCS will continue to focus on its thematic areas,” biodiversity specialist and GMTCS’ board member Michelle Kalamandeen pointed out.

She noted that with accidental capture by fishing nets the main threat to sea turtles, it is vital to recognise that the sea turtles nesting in Guyana travels throughout the region (some of Guyana’s turtles travel as far as British Columbia and Mexico) and therefore there is need for protection in the

ocean as well as the land.

“Everyone has a role to play in sea turtle conservation. Don’t purchase sea turtle products, including their meat, eggs, or items made from their shells or skin. Buy local products that will improve the livelihoods of user communities. This will help communities bring income into their homes so there is less reliance on sea turtle harvesting. For fishermen, it's important to regularly (3-4 hours) check their nets to ensure sea turtles are not accidentally caught and drowned. Guyana has a major problem with garbage, which often finds its way to Shell Beach. As such, it is important not to dump plastics and garbage into the oceans or on beaches. Leatherbacks can mistake plastic items for jellyfish –a favourite food – which can block air passages and lead to death,” she explained.

Kalamandeen urges all to support the ‘No Netting Zones’ at Shell Beach, which are areas along the beach where peak nesting of sea turtles occur.

On April 18, 2013, GMTCS received the Caribbean Tourism Organization/Travel mole award for Biodiversity Conservation for its outstanding conservation work.

“Tell your friendly sea turtle rangers of sea turtles trapped in nets, or persons hunting sea turtles or poaching their eggs. If you see or find a sea turtle in distress, call 686-8951. Join the Guyana Marine Turtle Conservation Society Facebook page to keep updated on projects and activities you may be able to engage in,” Kalamandeen recommended. (Information by Michelle Kalamandeen)

Fighting against gender inequality, poverty and abuse, a local organisation, with the help of government and dedicated individuals, continues to provide programmes that help vulnerable women and children improve themselves

The monstrous plague of gender-based violence continues to destroy families and leave women in particular, to struggle to meet their everyday needs and those of their children.

The Roadside Baptist Church Skills Training Centre, located in Berbice, has once again collaborated with the Ministry of Labour, Human Services and Social Security through the Board of Industrial Training (BIT) to provide much-needed income generating, social and other skills to empower single parents, especially women, and youths for entrepreneurship, the job market and, ultimately, a better quality of life.

For women, the centre offers a 12-hour weekly training in cosmetology and catering, inclusive of cake decoration and garment construction. These four-month courses are scheduled to end by Nov. 21, 2013.

The current third batch of trainees, through this government-sponsored programme, benefits from educational sessions on sexual and reproductive health, and on entrepreneurship, for a total of 40 hours. The basic business skills complement the income-generating skills to prepare the women to establish and manage their own business. Additionally, like the past trainees, this present

batch will benefit from the Women of Worth (WOW) loan– an incredible programme established by the Ministry of Human Services. The trainees are motivated by past beneficiaries’ accomplishments who benefited from the WOW initiative.

A monthly $4,000 travelling stipend is provided by BIT. This is part of the package provided by the Government of Guyana to ensure every woman benefits from the training provided.

Attendance and punctuality are vital components of the training, as they are necessary for certification by BIT. Monthly reports as to content covered, attendance registers and competency assessment of each trainee are all submitted to BIT.

The centre also targeted out-of-school youths whose training includes Mathematics and English. They benefit from a travelling stipend of $6,000.

This programme pre-

titude, quality and mode of dress are key areas that determine success or failure. Everyone was excited to be able to benefit from this unique opportunity offered to only a limited number of persons– 36 youths and 20 single parents.

The centre is focused on giving youths a second chance for a formal and/ or higher education. Over the years, the literacy oneon-one adult programme has benefited and equipped beneficiaries either for selfgratification, empowering them to assist their children, or to move on to the upgrading English and

Prananand (Mathematics) had quite a challenging task preparing students for CSEC. However, the dedication and methodology of the caring instructors motivated the learners, which notably contributed to their success.

Regular meetings with parents of the learners are part of the package for the remedial, upgrading and CSEC programmes.

“The board and staff take the opportunity to congratulate the students who have done well in the 2013 CSEC examination, and wish them all the best as they pursue their goals.

sented a major challenge at the centre as there was an influx of youths for training in cosmetology. Catering was the second choice for most of the trainees. However, the centre ensured that those who were willing to work hard received the opportunity to empower themselves.

Participants were reminded that Roadside trains for life, and that at-

Mathematics programme.

The remedial education programme has provided the opportunity for entrance to the Upper Corentyne Industrial Training Centre, admission to a secondary school after a test administered by the Department of Education, Region Six, or for admission to the upgrading English and Mathematics programme in preparation for CSEC if so desired.

This new academic year is no different. Some from the last group of the remedial education class have moved on to Tagore High School and to the Industrial Training Centre at Kingston, Corriverton. They are some who are working with the Skeldon Sugar Estate, have small businesses or are self-employed.

Roadside is once again proud of their instructors and learners who sat the May/June 2013 examination securing 84.6 percent passes in English A with Grades 1–3 and 75 percent with similar grades in Mathematics. The instructors, Indrowattie Autar (English) and Darveena

Sincere gratitude is also expressed to the instructors of the CSEC English and Mathematics for their patience and commitment. Most importantly, we thank the honourable Minister of Labour, Human Services and Social Security and the board of directors of BIT for recognising the centre as an institution worthy of implementing such a project, and to the coordinator and staff of BIT for their full support. We look forward to their continued support. We encourage the present batch of trainees to take full advantage of the training and the WOW loan. Roadside also extends congratulations to the single female parents who benefitted from similar programmes and are now enjoying a better quality of life,” the Roadside Baptist Church Skills Training Centre committee stated gratefully in an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine Enrolment is currently ongoing for the new batch of the CSEC English and Mathematics programme. For more information on the centre’s programmes call 338-4215 or 338-4213.

By Dmitri Allicock

Meet the incredible Alicia Harris.

She is a dedicated, finely chiselled beauty and professional body builder of Guyanese heritage.

The gorgeous 30-yearold comes from a family of professional athletes including brothers, foot -

Guyana and is now an avid tennis player. Her youngest brother, Adam, also a track athlete, graduated from the University of Michigan obtaining ‘All-American’ honours and now runs professionally representing Guyana. He represented Guyana in the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Alicia’s mother Darlene

college I participated in track and field and most recently my career in figure competing (bodybuilding and fitness). My professional experience has involved game day assistance with the Chicago Bears of the National Football League, the Chicago Sky of the Women's National Basketball Association, and the Chicago Rush of the Arena Football League, among others,” she mentioned on her website.

The pro athlete has a Masters in Sports Management from Northern Illinois University. She has been involved with many of the sports team around Chicago including the Chicago Bears.

ball player Albert John A. J. Harris and sprinter Adam Harris. Both of Alicia’s parents, Albert and Darlene Harris née Van Lange, were great athletes. Her father was a collegiate basketball, football and track athlete and her mother was a stand-out track and field athlete in

Harris née Van Lange belongs to a long line of Upper Demerara’s early families including that of the Van Lange, Spencer, Fleming, Fiedtkou and Allicock.

“Therefore as you can see, I was fortunate enough to inherit fantastic genetics that led me to a life surrounded by athletics. I once played basketball, in

She is very athletic and received a full ride scholarship for track and field. She demonstrates that there is no room for slacking in the world of female bodybuilding.

Alicia is known for her lightning speed on the racetrack, setting records in the 400 and 600-meter sprints.

After graduating from college in 2005, a friend introduced her to the world of body building, and she has not looked back since.

Missing the camaraderie and competition of collegiate track and field, Alicia decided to embark into the world of fitness and bodybuilding as an amateur figure competitor. Within the first two years of competing, she managed to work her way from local regional levels to national levels and started competing professionally beginning in 2009.

Placing 5th in the Grand Prix Bodybuilding & Figure Championship, due to poor posing, did not deter the body builder to give up. Determined to place higher, Alicia registered for

back-to-back competitions with the October, 2007 NPC Natural Mid-States Muscle Classic XX Bodybuilding & Figure Championship placing 4th in Figure Tall Class. In the November Annual NPC Continental USA Body Building & Figure Championship she placed 1st in Figure Medium Class. Alicia went on to impress in several competitions locally and internationally, earning 1st place at the IFBB Fort Lauderdale Pro in 2011 and 4th place at the IFBB Australian Grand Prix in 2012.

She has graced the cover of “Muscle & Fitness Hers Magazine” and most recently the cover of “Oxygen Magazine”. Whether personally or professionally, Alicia always aims to remain grounded in her roots of spirituality. She also believes that in order to achieve her goals and be successful in life, she must balance all aspects of physical, mental, emotional and most importantly spiritual health.

“I wish to pass on the understandings and teachings that I have been blessed to have instilled in me and become a blessing among other groups and individuals. I have a passion to help others as I rely on my core values and beliefs to guide me through this wonderful thing we call life,” she declared. (Excerpted from www.aliciareneeharris. com)

The Shaping of guyaneSe LiTeraTure

‘Caribbean Dispatches: Beyond The Tourist Dream’ compiled and edited by Jane Bryce

By PetamBer Persaud

Often I would get requests to recommend a ‘good history book’ from persons wanting to know more about Guyana. And just as often, except in cases of special need, I would refocus their attention to Guyanese books of fiction and poetry – books that add colour to the cheeks of posterity. To date all of my suggestions have met with approval.

“Caribbean Dispatches” compiled and edited by Jane Bryce, which carries an explanatory subtitle, “Beyond the tourist dream”, is a book I would recommend to anyone wanting to experience the true spirit of the Caribbean and get a sumptuous taste of Guyana.

There are three pieces of prose directly related to Guyana: “A Different Sort of Time” by Ian McDonald, “Loving Guyana’s Rivers” by Mark McWatt and “On the Sea Wall (or ‘A Love Affair’)” by Denise DeCaires Narain. There is also a piece by Simon Lee making reference to Guyanese Caribs still speaking their ancestral language, in “Before Columbus: Travels with the Gli Gli”.

It is a book that not only portrays beauty but shows where colour comes from and how it is applied. It is a book that kangse yuh on the hed with sounds, and extends your taste for food, love, life and a verve for sex; “re-tyre” and retool you for life on any part of the globe. It is a book portraying the “extraordinary drama” of the Caribbean region where

“oxymorons collide”, where “eating is an act of love’ and where “small kindnesses are valued”.

The opening gambit of the collection woven in “Beyond the tourist dream”, and the dedication “for Tumi – at home in the in-between”, immediately begins to stretch your imagination and whet your appetite. And you would not be disappointed with its offerings.

“Caribbean Dispatches” will create an urgency within to experience the Caribbean through consummate personal perspectives written by 28 writers of varying backgrounds: “people of Caribbean origin living abroad but maintaining family links, returnees who have come back after many years away, people from elsewhere who have lived here a long time, long-term frequent visitor…among them are novelists, poets, artists, academics, journalists and broadcasters”.

You will be unable to dismiss the poignant prayer by Ian McDonald: “Please God, if I am born again with the powers of an artist, let me go again to the Essequibo and read the books I love and, this time, paint the wind.”

Of course, you’d want to “enjoy the embrace of the river-water and the tug of the tide or current…and that wonderful smell of the secret life of the river” and the sensual pleasure of mud described by Mark McWatt in “Loving Guyana’s Rivers”.

Despite bumper to bumper and the prevarications of traffic in Kingston, Jamaica, you would endure it like

Kim Robinson just for the view from Russell Heights in order to “feel a flood of joy, a surge of optimism after this injection of beauty. I am happy to be alive.”

But the Caribbean is not all about beauty, beaches and sunshine. People also want to experience that something “indefinable called “culture” and are interested in history, art, music and whatever makes the local scene distinctive.”

Lennox Honychurch’s piece, ‘Territory of the Heart: Jean Rhys’s Dominica’, smoothly juxtaposes past with the present, effectively blending history, as por-

trayed in books, with a present day walk along those corridors of history. This piece can be found in a stimulating and informative section labelled Retrospectives.

The book is divided into five eclectic categories of landscapes, encounters, personalities, performances and retrospectives.

In ‘performances’, Rob Leyshon’s “Shakespeare Mas” will delight as it invites you into the “extraordinary drama” wherein “Julius Caesar”, written by the great English playwright William Shakespeare, is reenacted to a distinctive local flavour.

Of course, you will increase your vocabulary and knowledge, especially if you are a Yuma- a foreigner, and run into “a babalawo, a master of words.”

Take for example: “Rain here deserves a wider vocabulary. Drizzle, shower, downpour, tropical wave, depression, storm, hurricane.”

Bananas take nine months just like a baby. Ride a “bicitaxi” which is ecological, economical”, or “inexpensive deportees” which are second-hand vehicles imported from Japan.

And you will have a whale of a time whaling into Stewart Brown’s pieces, as Jeremy Taylor teaches you how to fit in to become more native than the natives by “playing for a draw” or by “going to ground” – a winwin situation.

What you get is equally as important as what you could lose. You could lose your innocence on the sea wall of Guyana. You could lose your camera in Havana or your potency. You could lose your identity in Jane Bryce’s “Carnival” in Trinidad by dabbing yourself or be dabbed with black paint or mud. Here in the region there is no pressure to conform so you can be dynamic - lose yourself. A disconcerting, you must have that too – not everything in the Caribbean is smooth sailing: “everyone in Trinidad except me understood that the arts were not an election winner and were thus destined to remain on the sidelines”, declared Jeremy Taylor. A sad indictment, despite the region producing three Nobel laureates in literature by way of Derek Walcott, V. S. Naipaul and Saint-John Perse.

“Caribbean Dispatches” suffers the constraints of anthology compilation. And its editor magnanimously accepts and explains many of the “gaps and absences” of the book. Jane Bryce said “the idea wasn’t to be comprehensive and all-encom-

passing…that would be a hopeless task for any book about possibly the most culturally multifarious region in the world.”

Blurbs on book are usually superb bits of advertisements but this blurb is worth quoting, “…it is the ideal companion for anyone fascinated by the Caribbean who wants to find out more, while for those who know the area already, it illuminates hidden corners and takes you further than you’ve ever gone before…so gripping is it that you’ll have read it on the plane before you even get there.”

This review of “Caribbean Dispatches” is making a timely appearance for the Inter Guianas Cultural Festival (French Guyana), for the Caribbean Festival of Arts - Carifesta (Surinam), the season of the Guyana Prize for Literature (Guyana) and for the just concluded Limacol Caribbean Premier League Twenty20 cricket.

I forthwith dispatch this book for your consideration, entertainment and action.

Responses to this author telephone (592) 226-0065 or email: oraltradition2002@ yahoo.com

What’s happening:

The Guyana Annual 2012-2013 magazine is now available at Guyenterprise Ltd and at city bookstores. This issue of the magazine is dedicated to E. R. Braithwaite. The magazine also features articles on copyright, law of intellectual property, creative industries, oral traditions of Guyana, cricket and the future of books.

Coming soon: ‘An Introduction to Guyanese Literature’ by Petamber Persaud.

Young

Professionals

Debra Francis Communication Specialist

By Vahnu Manikchand

Notwithstanding living a comfortable life, Debora Francis still had to work hard to accomplish all she has, and be the person she is today.

Born to a St. Vincentian father of African descent and a Guyanese Amerindian mother, Francis grew up in Matthews Ridge, NorthWest District, where she spent her childhood mostly playing and going on adventures. She completed her primary education there, where she was very active in every activity available.

“Growing up in Matthews Ridge, I had a very active childhood…I was very active in school and participated in very competition or programmes you can think about,” she recalled.

Acquiring a spot at Christ Church Secondary, Francis moved to Georgetown to complete her education. However, after spending two years there, she moved to St. Joseph High School. During her secondary years, Francis took a break from the extra-curricular activities and concentrated more on her academics, which led her to obtaining passes in seven of the eight subjects she wrote at CXC in 1997.

Francis then furthered her education by writing three CAPE subjects, after which she began working at the-then Guyana Broadcasting Corporation where she underwent training in radio broadcasting for nine months. She then left to attend the University of Guyana in 1999 to pursue her studies in Public Communication, and obtained a diploma and later her degree.

Growing up, Francis always had an interest in radio broadcasting; however in secondary school she developed a liking for law.

“While growing up, radio played a big part of our lives, so I developed an interest for it. I wanted to be a part of it and make a difference in other people’s lives because I know the influence radio has…and I also wanted to an attorney because I wanted to help people to defend themselves especially those who cannot afford it I wanted to be more of a legal-aid attorney to help people.”

After UG, Francis returned to GBC where she began living her dream as a radio broadcaster. While there, she obtained a Certificate in Project Management from the Critchlow Labour College. After spending two years at GBC, she moved on to PAHO where she sent three years as a communication specialist then to the Ministry of Health for six years.

Apart from achieving her qualifications, Francis also spent time giving back, and was a member of Rotaract Georgetown for five years, during which she served in several significant positions, including vice president.

“I love volunteering; it’s one of my passions. I really want to help people make a difference in their lives and I think through Rotaract, I was able to do that. In addition, Rotaract really helped me to develop the skills I have, like planning skills and organizing skills,” she declared.

She was also part of Toastmasters Club for two years, which also helped her to enhance her public speaking, communication and leadership skills.

At the age of 32, Francis is not stopping; she is currently furthering her education in international relations. She said that she is determined and committed to what she is doing and is looking for every opportunity to improve her skills and also to help others.

“If I want something I pursue it with everything I have. I am very dedicated and committed. I also do the same with things I’m passionate about like volunteering, I love not only helping people but empowering them because there is a difference. “Helping people” is giving them hand-outs, but when you empower them, you give them skills and impart [potential] in them,” she stated.

star of the week

Fazil Rahaman is an 18-year-old who aspires to be a successful entrepreneur. He is a three-time National Essay Writing Champion and a proud and consistent blood donor. An active humanitarian, Fazil has been a volunteer at the National Blood Bank for more than two years. He is a certified CPR and first aid respondent. The lad is also a proud participant in many charity events and activities. Recently, the five-foot-nine talented teen was on his first venture in pageantry vying for the Mr. Guyana Talented Teen title. Although he did not win, Fazil continues to use his pageantry experience to be a voice for young people and the less fortunate. He advocates against violence towards women and children, and believes in equality and human rights for them as well. His favourite music includes soca, Indian and chutney. His hobbies include surfing the internet, hanging out with friends and family, dancing, reading and writing.

Dot to dot

The Sunflower sea star

The Sunflower sea star (Pycnopodia helianthoides) is a large predator of the sea floor that can grow arm spans of up to three feet. They are fast, voracious hunters of clams, urchins, snails, abalone, sea cucumbers, and other sea stars.

Adult sunflower sea stars move at one meter per minute using 15,000 tube feet which line the undersides of their bodies. They range in color from bright orange to purple, and have a soft, velvettextured body and 16 to 24 arms studded with powerful suckers.

They are easily stressed by predators such as large fish and other sea stars, and have the ability to shed arms to escape, growing them back within a few weeks.

Sunflower sea stars are common in the U.S Pacific, from Alaska to Southern California. (nmfs.noaa.gov)

Did

It is also called the Sunflower starfish but is not a fish. The Sunflower Starfish can reach as much as 1 metre (3 ft 3 in) across. The mouth is at the centre of the tube feet and can be opened wide to swallow food. If the food is too big , they spit out their own stomach and start digesting prey outside of their body before swallowing.

The objective of the game is to fill all the blank squares in a game with the correct numbers. Every row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must include all digits 1 through 9.

MAZE DAZE

Help the frog reach the flies for a yummy meal

CASTLES

A castle is a large, fortified building or set of buildings, but when we think of castles, we usually think of the Norman castles of Europe, which were adapted from Roman forts. The word “castle” is derived from the Latin word for “fortress.”

A bit of history

People have been building castles for as long as they have been building buildings. One of the earliest fortresses was built by the Mayan people about 1,500 years ago in Yucatán, Mexico. This great walled city was called Chichen-Itza and was constructed with huge stones. In biblical times, King Herod built Masada on a hilltop in what is now Israel. Southern Africa is home to the ruins of Great Zimbabwe, which was built nearly 1,000 years ago by the Shona people. Early North American settlers built log forts like the Alamo in Texas and Fort Laramie in Wyoming.

Mottes & baileys

Early castles were made of wood and earth. Most of them were built on a natural or man-made hill called a motte. A tower or keep was built on the top of the motte and protected by a palisade (wooden wall). Often, fortified courtyards called baileys were built at the bottom of the motte. Moats (deep, wide ditches) were dug around the motte and bailey. These early wood fortresses were extremely vunerable to fire. Many were painted white to resemble stone.

Life in a castle

Castles were more than fortresses — they were also home to a diverse group of people, from lords and ladies to archers, engineers, cooks and carpenters. A nobleman’s castle and lands were defended by noble tenants called vassals. The lord rewarded his noblemen with gifts of land, money and marriages. This system was called feudalism.

Castles were hard to keep warm, so tapestries and carpets were hung on the walls to keep out drafts. The great hall was often used for sleeping and eating, though the lord had private quarters. When a lord was away, a constable looked after the castle and garrison (castle guards).

Chichen Itza (Yucatán, Mexico) was a large city built by the Maya civilization centuries before Europeans came to the Americas.

Palisade curtain wall

Shortly before the 12th century, Europeans began building castles made of stone. Stone castles took years rather than weeks to build, but they were stronger, more intimidating and did not burn. Motte

By Laurie Triefeldt

Hermann is a medieval tower at Toompea Castle in Tallinn, Estonia, which was originally a wooden castle in the 10th or 11th century.

The Tower of London, England, was built in 1078 by William the Conqueror as his stronghold and residence.

The Marksburg sits above the town of Braubach in RhinelandPalatinate, Germany. Built in 1117, it is the only castle in the region that has never been destoryed.

Castle, located on the border between Transylvania and Wallachia, Romania, is a 14th-century fortress.

The Palace of Versailles was built in four stages between 1664 and 1710.

The Chapel of Catherine Palace at Tsarskoye Selo in Russia was constructed between 1745 and 1748.

The Winter Palace in Saint Petersburg, Russia, was the official residence of the czars of Russia from 1732 until 1917.

Blarney Castle near Cork, Ireland, is a 15th-century fortress. It holds the famous Blarney Stone, which tourists traditionally kiss.

1840–1842

has had a fortress on it since the 13th century. Duke Wilhelm of Urach, Count of Württemberg built this stone castle.

Mont Saint-Michel, Brittany, France, was built around an abbey starting in 1017, but a stronghold has been there since the sixth century.

Casa Loma, Toronto, was built by Sir Henry Pellat between 1911 and 1914. Mary Pellatt hosted early Girl Guide gatherings here. It became a museum in 1937.

of

in the

after a fire destroyed the original keep. It has served as a fortress, a royal palace and a prison.

ashion designer Wynetta Jones is preparing to launch her most stylish collection ever at the upcoming Guyana Fashion Weekend 2013 (GFW).

Jones is not new to the fashion industry, and has participated in GFW over the years under her label

“I am preparing to launch my new collection ‘Jours Sombres de l'été’ meaning “Dark Days of Summer”. This concept emerged from the unpredictable weather and some unexpected changes life throws your ways. Using my knowledge gained at E. R. Burrowes School of Arts, I plan to bring this collection alive by using fabrics such as linen, lace, stretch cotton, cotton, leather. The colours used in this collection are black, white, green, yellow, and orange. It caters for both ladies and gents,” the designer explained in an Guyana Times Sunday Magazine

Wynetta Jones Creations are currently on sale for one week only at Sonia Noel Studio located at 176 Barr Street, Kitty. Call 226-3099 for more information.

he Saturdays is an English-Irish girl group based and formed in London, England. The group consists of Una Healy, Mollie King, Rochelle Humes, Vanessa White and Frankie Sandford. They were formed through Fascination Records, which gave them an instant record deal with the label as well as a sub-division of Polydor Records. As soon as the contract was finalised, the band went on tour with Girls Aloud during their Tangled Up Tour. In 2008, The Saturdays released their debut single "If This Is Love", which resulted in the band achieving their first top ten hit. The band released their debut album, “Chasing Lights” in 2008 and charted at number-nine on the UK Albums Chart. It was accredited platinum certification by the BPI and the album also produced three more top ten singles—"Up", "Issues" and "Just Can't Get Enough". "Work" was also released from the album. The band's first concert tour, The Work Tour took place in 2009. After the release of "Ego", the band decided to release their first mini album in 2010, “Headlines!” which also produced Top 10 hits including "Higher" which featured guest vocals from Flo Rida. The band continues to produce numerous hit singles and albums. The group has sold more than four million singles in the UK and Ireland.

Scarlett Johansson engaged! Simon Cowell plans to leave fortune to charity

Scarlett Johansson is off the market! The actress is engaged to boyfriend Romain Dauriac. A rep confirmed the news after she was spotted wearing some engagement bling at the Venice International Film Festival.

Johansson's rep also told MTV News the couple have not chosen a date for the wedding yet.

A source told People that the two are “very happy”, adding that the engagement took place about a month ago and that the ring Dauriac gave her is vintage Art Deco style. The ring was

on full display while she was painting Italy red in a black gown to promote “Under the Skin”.

This marks the second marriage for Johansson, who separated from Ryan Reynolds in December 2010 before finalizing their divorce in 2011. Reynolds has since remarried as well. He and his "Green Lantern" costar Blake Lively tied the knot back in September 2012.

Dauriac, according to reports, is the former editor of the French art magazine Clark and is currently the manager of a creative agen-

cy. He began dating the Hollywood star about a year ago. Back in January, she opened up to Elle U.K. about whether or not she'd ever marry again after her split from Reynolds. "I never think about marriage," she said. "Is that weird? The only time I ever think about it is when people ask me, 'Would I get married again?' It's really not important to me. It has no relevance to me right now."

"I'm not having kids any time soon," she added. "I'm in a nice relationship, I'm working a lot and, like I said, [marriage is] not important to me...To me, being in a functioning relationship doesn't mean you have to be married."

In addition to “Under the Skin”, Johansson has several other projects planned, including "Don Jon" alongside Joseph Gordon-Levitt (out later this month), “Lucy”, “Chef” and two blockbusters, “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” and “The Avengers: Age of Ultron”. (MTV)

Simon Cowell is planning to leave his fortune to charity. The music mogul, who is expecting his first child with girlfriend Lauren Silverman, opens up about the plan in an interview with Esquire magazine.

"I'm going to leave my money to somebody. A charity, probably kids and dogs," says "The X Factor (US)" judge. He explains, "I don't believe in passing on from one generation to another. Your legacy has to be that hopefully you gave enough people an opportunity, so that they could do well, and you gave them your time, taught them what you know."

Although Cowell rakes

in a lot from his shows, the 53-year-old music mogul says that he loves his job and does not plan to retire in the near future. "A lot of people who retire, they hate their job so much, they just love the idea of not working

any more. That horrifies me. I'm going to be still working in my 80s or 90s," he reveals.

According to a recent report, the former judge of "American Idol" would be having a baby boy. "He is over the moon to be having a son," a source close to Cowell told New York Daily News.

In his previous interview with U.K.'s The Times, Cowell said that he had seen sonogram of his baby. However, he did not reveal the sex of his unborn child. "I went to see a scan today and it is just surreal. You literally see this thing which is now alive moving around. I feel very paternal right now," he added.

(AceShowbiz)

Angelina Jolie to receive Academy's Humanitarian Award

Angelina Jolie, along with Angela Lansbury, Steve Martin and Piero Tosi, will be honored by the Board of Governors of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. While each of her fellow actors is set to receive the Honorary Award, Jolie will be presented with the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award at the Academy's 5th Annual Governors Awards on Saturday, November 16.

The Humanitarian Award is given "to an individual in the motion picture industry whose humanitarian efforts have brought credit to the industry." Jolie is praised for being "an impassioned advocate for humanitarian causes," and her dedication has also shaped her work in films that tack-

le global humanitarian issues including "In the Land of Blood and Honey".

"I'm so proud to win an honorary Oscar this year with @TheAcademy, So much love & joy to u all, thank you! Congrats Martin, Lansbury, & Tosi," tweeted Jolie, who won an Oscar for her supporting performance in 1999's "Girl, Interrupted". She joins past winners including Oprah Winfrey and the DreamWorks Animation CEO, Jeffrey Katzenberg.

As for actors Lansbury and Martin, as well as Italian costume designer Tosi, they are hailed for their "exceptional contributions to the state of motion picture arts and sciences, or for outstanding service to the Academy."

Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs has made a statement regarding this year's recipients. "The Governors Awards pay tribute to individuals who've made indelible contributions in their respective fields," said Isaacs. "We couldn't be more excited for this year's honorees."

(AceShowbiz)

'Breaking Bad' sets Guinness World Record

"Breaking Bad" is entering the Guinness World Records 2014.

The AMC series gets the honor as the Highest-Rated TV Series (Current) after scoring a 99 out of 100 average critics' rating on review aggregator Metacritic for its fifth and final season.

Demi Lovato and Betty White also earn a place in the 2014 edition of the records book. The former star on Disney Channel's "Sonny with a Chance" is named the youngest "The X Factor (US)" judge, joining the panel for the first time when she was 19. "Guinness Book of World Records 2014???! SO cool!!! Haha," she tweeted.

Veteran comedienne White, meanwhile, is entering the book for the Longest TV Career for a Entertainer (Female). Starting

her television career in 1939, the 91-yearold actress has starred on such TV shows as "The Mary Tyler Moore Show", "The Golden Girls" and "Hot in Cleveland".

"I was astounded when [GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS] called to tell me. Who? Me!?! It's such as honor," White comments on the honor. "The book has always been fascinating to me. I can't believe I'm now associated with it."

The Guinness World Record also acknowledges the achievement of some music icons, namely Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Rihanna.

In "Breaking Bad"-related news, the show's bosses have just shared to Entertainment Weekly some proposed storylines that never made it into the final script. At one point, the writers had an idea to feature the tale of a New Mexico cowboy in a flashback to 100 years ago.

"It was going to have all these weird tangential relationships with a different cast scattered throughout the season in these three- to four-minute teasers, and it would all somehow in the end come together in the main story," says co-executive producer Peter Gould. "Walt would have a showdown at the same spot where this other character had died at the end of those."

The story was eventually rejected because "it never felt knitted together with the main story." Plus, Gould thinks the flashback would have taken away too much screen time from the series' main characters. (AceShowbiz)

Nakuul Mehta

Nakuul Mehta is an Indian actor, dancer and model, best known for his lead role as Aditya in the television series “Pyaar Ka Dard Hai Meetha Meetha Pyaara Pyaara”. Nakuul was born in Udaipur, Rajasthan, India. He descends from King Prithviraj Chauhan of the Rajput Chauhan dynasty of Mewar. His father, Pratap Singh Mehta, is a veteran of Indo-Pakistani War of 1971. Nakuul's great great grandfather Laxmilal Mehta was the military-in-chief of the Mewar region. Since childhood, Nakuul wanted to be an actor. He was always active in drama and theatre. In his initial years, he modelled for several brands but one which he never forgets is the Clinic All Clear ad he did with Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan. Nakuul has performed in numerous music videos and is proficient in jazz, hip hop, salsa and contemporary dance genres. His first big screen debut was in the film “Haal–e–dil”. Later, he did a Spanish romantic comedy film “Flamenco” opposite Monica Cruz, sister of Hollywood actress Penelope Cruz. He married Jankee Parekh, a singer, in January 2012.

Bollywood

‘I am not getting engaged’- Ranbir Kapoor

Actor Ranbir Kapoor has denied reports of engagement with rumoured girlfriend Katrina Kaif.

There were reports in a section of media that Ranbir would make a formal proposal on his birthday (September 28).

"There was a report that I am getting engaged on my birthday and there is no truth in it... I am not getting engaged or married," Ranbir told reporters at the promotional

event of his upcoming film 'Besharam'.

Ranbir feels scrutiny of his personal life is a part and parcel of showbiz but he would try to protect his personal space.

"When I was new in the industry I spoke openly about my relationship. I feel when you do this the spotlight is more on personal life than work. I want to protect my life. I don't want my life to become a reality show," he said.

However, Ranbir re-

fused to clarify his relationship with Katrina.

"I am single till I get married, I think I believe in that saying. I am going very strong with this movie ('Besharam'), I am very excited about it. That is the only excitement I have in my life right now," he said.

"I am very happy with the work I am doing. I am happy in my personal life with family, friends, everything. I am not bothered with all this. I am not here to make or break an image. I am arrogant enough to know that I am a good actor and people will like me for my work," Ranbir said.

Reacting to the recent photos published of him and Katrina holidaying in Ibiza, Ranbir said, he doesn't have an issue with it, but he wants to protect his personal life.

When asked about reports of his father Rishi Kapoor being miffed with him and Katrina over their photographs, Ranbir said, "There is no truth in this. I tell everything to my parents, I don't hide anything. They are very supportive. I live with my parents. When I have to take suggestions from them they are always there for me." (Times of India)

Karan Johar gets police security after extortion threat

Filmmaker Karan Johar has been given police security after a suspected gangster sent him a text demanding money.

The anti-extortion cell of Mumbai Police is now probing the case and suspect the message was sent using internet telephony to cover the caller's whereabouts, said a newspaper report.

Johar owns a successful production house. Johar is the second Bollywood

Irrfan

producer in the past few months to get armed security.

Boney Kapoor too was given police cover after a similar extortion call. Police have also increased patrolling around the houses of Kapoor and Johar, the report said.

The report, quoting other filmmakers said such threats were common and they ignored them. (India Today)

Khan's 'The Lunchbox' selected for London Film Festival

Ritesh Batra's The Lunchbox has been selected for the competition section of this year's London Film Festival.

Starring Irrfan Khan and Nawazuddin Siddiqui, “The Lunchbox” is the only Indian

film to make it to the 13-movie shortlist for the prestigious film festival's 'Official Competition' selection.

Produced by Guneet Monga and Anurag Kashyap, the film is based on the Mumbai dabbawalla (lunchbox) delivery service.

It centres around the growing relationship between a man and a woman who start communicating in notes after a mix-up with their lunch orders.

“The Lunchbox” won the critics' week viewers’ choice award at the 66th Cannes Film Festival this spring, and is hotly tipped to be selected as India's official entry for the 2014 Oscars.

Other Indian entries among the festival's 234 feature films include Jeevan Smriti, the late Bengali filmmaker Rituparno Ghosh's last complete feature.

Indo-Canadian production Siddharthby director Richie Mehta - and Buddhadeb Dasgupta's Anwar Ka Ajab Kissa have also been selected in the festival's 'Journey' category. (Digital Spy)

Shahid Kapoor ‘fed up dating actors’

Shahid Kapoor has said that he is fed up of dating fellow actors in the film industry.

The star has been romantically linked with Kareena Kapoor, Nargis Fakhri and Kaminey co-star Priyanka Chopra.

He told The Times of India: "I think I should date a normal girl. I am tired of dating heroines.

"I am single for the last two years. When I don't have a girlfriend, who I am answerable to, I can go out and hang with people. But whether you go for a movie with someone or a meal or a drive, it is assumed that you are dating that person. "I have always been in relationships. I am actually living

my 20s in my 30s, as all through my 20s I was in relationships and ever since I have turned 30, I am single. It's a great time and I am not letting it go for a while. But I know if I fall in love now, it will be for good as I don't think I have the emotional energy to invest for a year and then break up and then go through the phase of being single."

Kapoor has said previously that he loves working with his ex-girlfriend Priyanka Chopra, who he was last seen with in “Teri Meri Kahaani”.

Last year, he also praised former girlfriend Kareena Kapoor and said that he hoped that she continues acting after her marriage. (Digital Spy)

Kareena Kapoor praises Hrithik Roshan

Kareena Kapoor has described Hrithik Roshan as one of the finest actors in India.

The actress is set to star with Roshan for the first time in ten years in the forthcoming film “Shuddhi”.

"I am very excited about Shuddhi," IANS quotes Kapoor as saying. "We're both working together after such a long time. He is such a fine actor. He is one of finest actors in our country. I am looking forward to this film. We will start shooting from January 2014."

The two actors have starred in several films together including “Yaadein”, “Mujhse Dosti Karoge!”, “Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham” and “Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon”.

Directed by Karan Malhotra, Shuddi has been

described as an intense love story with a reincarnation name. Malhotra had previously confirmed the reports of the casting to IBN Live, saying: "Yes, finally we have confirmed Kareena for the role. I feel she is a stunning looking girl and she suits the character best. I am sure she will do justice to the film.

"I am not allowed to talk

much about my film, but all I can assure you is Kareena and Hrithik will be seen in a never-before-seen role in Shuddhi. I know it's the most cliché line ever, but I can assure you on that."

The film will be shot on location in Mumbai and Uttarakhand and is expected to release in October 2014. (Digital Spy)

Sedentary lifestyle can kill

Lack of exercise is causing as many deaths around the world as smoking, according to the research

In a series of articles in the Lancet timed to coincide with the last Olympics, researchers from 16 countries set out the scale of the health burden created by physical inactivity.

The scientists say they are neither Olympics killjoys nor are they advocating punishing gym sessions. As Pamela Das from the Lancet puts it: "It is not about running on a treadmill, whilst staring at a mirror and listening to your iPod."

There's nothing wrong with going to the gym of course, but the aim is to encourage everyone to build physical activity into their daily lives, such as by walking, cycling, swimming, gardening or doing any sport they enjoy.

The trouble is, all that sounds familiar. We all know we should move more and sit less.

Despite that, one in three adults worldwide fails to do the recommended 150 minutes of moderate aerobic physical activity per week. In the UK two out of three adults don't manage it.

So rather than stressing the health benefits of exercise, the Lancet researchers have opted to show the harm caused by inactivity. They estimate lack of exercise is responsible for about 5.3m deaths a year - about the same number as smoking. This is based on estimates of the impact on inactivity on coronary heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and

Case study

FromMonday to Saturday, the streets of the Colombian capital of Bogota are packed with cars.

The city – one of the largest in South America – is a teeming metropolis, home to more than seven million people.

But on a Sunday vehicles are nowhere to be seen. Instead, the streets are taken over by pedestrians and cyclists, thanks to Ciclovia, a traffic-free streets initiative run by the city authorities.

The scheme, backed by successive mayors, has been running in one guise or another since the mid-1970s. It now covers nearly 100km of roads in the centre of the city on Sundays and public holidays.

But as well as making Bogota a quieter place to roam, the ban on cars also has a health benefit.

Research has shown about a million residents regularly walk around on a Sunday, a fifth of whom say they would be inactive if it were not for the ban on vehicles.

Dr Michael Pratt, who was involved in the Lancet research on physical inactivity, said the Bogota scheme was a "wonderful example" of how governments could be encouraging more exercise.

two specific cancers - breast and bowel - where lack of exercise is a major risk factor.

There are some weaknesses in the data. The scientists have had to rely on the results of questionnaires sent out to 122 countries in which people self-report their levels of activity. It must also be difficult to separate the disease burden of obesity from the figures.

But Dr I-Min Lee, Harvard Medical School, says they were very cautious: "Our estimates of illhealth from lack of physical activity are, if anything, on the low side."

The outlook for the next generation seems bleak. A staggering four out of five 13-15 year olds globally do not do the recommended 60

minutes of activity every day.

The researchers say the problem of inactivity has reached pandemic levels, with far-reaching health, economic, environmen tal and social consequenc es. They call for a radical re-think in how to deal with the issue.

But rather

than

ing on the bad, I prefer to emphasise the good, or rather the benefits of being active. As Dr I-Min Lee put it to me, "Everything that gets worse when we get older, gets better when (BBC

Cabinet Accessories and Upgrades

Adding cabinet accessories and upgrades can help personalize your kitchen to maximize function and purpose. Accessories can include lazy susans,stem glass holders or wastebasket units, while upgrades can be done either in cabinetry construction such as premium finishes or increased depth, or in their decorative appeal such as upgrading to decorative glass doors.

of

Ingredients

Chinese Fried Rice

3/4 cup finely chopped onion

2 1/2 tablespoons oil

1 egg, lightly beaten (or more eggs if you like)

3 drops soy sauce

3 drops sesame oil

8 ounces cooked lean boneless pork or 8 ounces chicken, chopped

Method

Heat 1 tbsp oil in wok; add chopped onions and stir-fry until onions turn a nice brown color, about 8-10 minutes; remove from wok.

Allow wok to cool slightly.

1/2 cup finely chopped carrot (very small)

1/2 cup frozen peas, thawed

4 cups cold cooked rice, grains separated (preferably medium grain)

4 green onions, chopped

2 cups bean sprouts

2 tablespoons light soy sauce (add more if you like)

Mix egg with 3 drops of soy and 3 drops of sesame oil; set aside.

Add 1/2 tbsp oil to wok, swirling to coat surfaces; add egg mixture; working quickly, swirl egg until egg sets against wok; when egg puffs, flip egg and cook other side briefly; remove from wok, and chop into small pieces. Heat 1 tbsp oil in wok; add selected meat to wok, along with carrots, peas, and cooked onion; stir-fry for 2 minutes. Add rice, green onions, and bean sprouts, tossing to mix well; stir-fry for 3 minutes.

Add 2 tbsp of light soy sauce and chopped egg to rice mixture and fold in; stir-fry for 1 minute more; serve. Set out additional soy sauce on the table, if desired.

Oreo Cookie Dessert

Method

Break 1/2 cookies into 9 x 13 pan. Mix pudding with milk and add 1 pk cool whip.

Pour over broken cookie pieces. Put second 1/2 pack of cookies over pudding.

Top with 8 oz.cool whip.

It's important not to heat olive oil (or any cooking oil) over its smoke point: the temperature at which a cooking fat or oil begins to break down and the oil smokes or burns, giving the oil (and food) an unpleasant taste. Olive oil begins to lose its health benefits and unique flavor when it starts to smoke, but luckily it stands up well to high temperatures, with a smoke point of 410ºF (210ºC).

For a healthier burger, add crumbled tofu to your ground meat mixture. Replacing part of your mix with tofu not only helps keep the patties moist, which is especially helpful if you are using a lean meat, and it also lessens the calorie and saturated fat count.

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shells from

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18

Creative Writing

The Magic Bowl

Once there was a poor old man who lived with his wife in a small hut in a village of Rajasthan. The old man lost his job because of his age. He was too proud to beg and so he and his wife began to starve. Ultimately he decided to go to the Parvati temple two days before the Dashera. It took all day to get there and when he reached the temple the door was closing. Hungry and tired the old man sat down on the door steps of the temple and fell asleep. Goddess Parvati felt uncomfortable inside the temple and asked her attendants to get the old man.

Very soon the old man was brought in and he was surprised to see the living Parvati. He thought he was dreaming. He fell down on Goddess Parvatiís feet and with tears in his eyes he narrated the miseries he was going through. Goddess Parvati took pity and gave him a magic bowl.

The Goddess said, “Take this bowl with you. Whenever you are hungry ask the bowl to give you

whatever food you want and as much as you want.”

The old man returned home happily with his bowl.

The wife was very happy to know that their bad days are over by the grace of Goddess Parvati. The old man always wanted to share his food with the king and others. So he decided to in vite them for a dinner on the day of Diwali. But when he ap proached the palace the guard stopped the old man. He explained that he wanted to in vite the king to his hut for dinner. The guard approached the King and sought his permission. The courtiers laughed and were looking forward to the fun. The old man requested the king and the queen and the courtiers to have dinner with him on the evening of Diwali. The king and his ministers

laughed in amusement. The chief minister cautioned, “If we come back hungry, you will be hanged for playing jokes with His Majesty.”

The old man agreed.

that no preparations were on hand. The old man was not the least worried about the royal visit except that he put up a tent big enough to hold the royal party. The

patient to know what was going on. So he sent his attendant to find out what the old man was up to. The attendant came back and informed him

dinner time, the old man came with his magic bowl and asked the king to wish for any food he wants. The king thought that the old man was joking and or-

dered some of the most exotic foods in the world. Much to his disbelief, before he could finish, the food was served. Thus the old man, with the help of his magic bowl, served food to the queen and the courtiers. The wicked chief minister asked the king to take away such a valuable magic bowl for the treasury. The old man tried to explain that he would starve without the bowl but no one listened. He lost the bowl. Unfortunately, the bowl did not work for any one but the proud chief minister refused to return the bowl to the old man. Soon the couple were starving again. They some how managed to survive for a year until Dashera came again. The old man decided to go back to the temple seeking Parvatiís blessings. He reached the temple in the middle of the night and started his prayers. Once again Goddess Parvati called him in and inquired what happened. When the old man explained, the

Goddess decided to teach the king a lesson. This time she gave the old man a stick and asked him to go home and use the stick the same way as the magic bowl to get his food. But she asked the old man to invite the king again for a dinner on the day of Diwali. Goddess Parvati further explained that the stick would beat everyone until the bowl was returned to him. The old man did as he was told. The king readily believed him this time and agreed to come with the queen and courtiers. The old man came with the stick. When the orders were placed, the stick began to beat the king, the queen and the ministers. No one could stop the stick so they begged the old man to rescue them. The old man explained, “The stick wants its partner, the magic bowl, until then it will keep on beating you.” The minister ran to the treasury to fetch the bowl. The bowl was then placed in the hands of the old man and the stick stopped. Soon dinner was served and the king once again enjoyed the world’s best food. The king then built a special house for the old man where he lived happily with his wife.

Little words of kindness spoken, A motion or a tear, Has often healed a heart that is broken, And made a friend sincere. A word, a look, has crushed to earth Full many a blooming flower, Which has a smile of its own birth That would bless life’s darkest hour.

Then think it not an idle thing, Just pleasant words to speak, and With the face you wear and the thoughts you share, A heart may heal or break.

Sedhee Ramnauth

CIRP: Smartphone customers more loyal to carrier than to brand

Kirobo Robotic Astronaut Says Hello aboard the International Space Station

"Good morning to everyone on Earth."

Toyota announced Thursday that a robot spoke from space for the first time. On August 21, the communications robot, Kirobo, sent greetings back to Earth from the International Space Station (ISS). Kirobo said, in translation, “On August 21, 2013, a robot took one small step toward a brighter future for all.”

In addition to its first words, Kirobo also sent greetings and a photo to its back-up robot, Mirata, which is used to help troubleshoot if anything goes wrong with Kirobo in orbit.

Kirobo, who only speaks Japanese, won’t have much else to do until November or December – that's when Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) astronaut Koichi Wakata, the first Japanese commander of the ISS, arrives. He will conduct the first conversation with a robot in space in the ISS’s Kibo (Hope) Japanese Experiment Module.

Built as part of a project in human/robot interactions in space, Kirobo has been aboard the ISS for a month. The robot was first sent up aboard the Kounotori 4 cargo ship launched from Japan's Tanegashima Space Centre on August 4, arriving six days later.

Kirobo is one of two humanoid verbalcommunication robots built by the Kibo Robot

Kirobo also sent this image to mirata, its back-up robot on earth

Project; a partnership that includes Dentsu, the Research Centre for Advanced Science and Technology, the University of Tokyo, Robo Garage and Toyota, with assistance from the JAXA. Weighing only a kilogram (2.2 lb), it’s capable of face and speech recognition, recognizing emotions, and is designed to operate in zero gravity. It’s scheduled to remain on the ISS for a year and a half before returning to Earth.

The exception is Apple, which dominates in both brand and operating system loyalty

Given the magnitude of recent telecom deals – Microsoft offering $7.2 billion for Nokia's handset business, Google shelling out $12.5 billion for Motorola Mobility, Verizon paying an astonishing $130 billion to buy out Vodafone's 45 percent stake – Consumer Intelligence Research Partners asks an interesting question:

What matters most to smartphone customers, the carrier, the operating system or the brand?

The answer, based on a survey of 2,000 U.S. customers conducted between July 2012 and June 2013:

85 percent stick with their carriers (Verizon, AT&T, etc.)

63 percent stick with their operating system (iOS, Android, etc.)

41 percent stick with the brand (Samsung, Apple, etc.)

The exception is Apple, which dominates in terms

of both brand and OS loyalty. In fact, iPhone owners are nearly as loyal to iOS (81 percent) and the Apple brand (82 percent) as most customers are to their carriers (85 percent). Only Android (68 percent) comes close.

According to a report issued Thursday to CIRP clients – and obtained by Fortune – this ... puts into perspective the attractive prices that the operating system makers paid for the smartphone brands, and the high valuation attached to mobile carrier deals, including the recent one for Verizon Wireless.

Of course, a smartphone manufacturer needs to connect to the right operating system. Unfortunately for Nokia, the Microsoft Windows Mobile operating system has a much lower customer retention rate than Apple iOS and Google Android.

samsung's 110-in UHD display

Korean electronics giant Samsung Thursday revealed two enormous Ultra High Definition (UHD) televisions at IFA 2013. For Berlin's IFA, the company has upped its game with the European debut of a 98inch S9 model and a 110-inch monster (the

latter would likely nab the crown of world's largest TV). Details are somewhat lacking at the moment, but one thing is for certain, buyers are going to need a suitably large bank roll to go with the huge room needed to house either of these behemoths. (GIZMAG)

Hew Locke: A Multicultural Artist

Born in Edinburgh, UK, and raised as a child in Guyana, to a Guyanese sculptor father, Donald Locke, and an English painter mother, Hew Locke has art and multiculturalism running right through him. His work is vibrant, challenging and a real wonder to behold.

Locke was born in 1959, lived from 1966 to 1980 in Guyana and is currently based in London. He obtained a B.A. Fine Art in Falmouth (1988) and an M.A. Sculpture at the Royal College of Art, London (1994). In 2000 he won both a Paul Hamlyn Award and an East International Award.

His work is represented in many notable collections including The Government Art Collection, The Tate Gallery collection, The Arts Council of England collection, The Collection of Eileen and Peter Norton, Santa Monica, The Brooklyn Museum collection, New York, The Arnold Lehman collection, The Kemper Museum of Contemporary

sion of ideas and materials symbolising all at once a boat, a city, an animal, and a bacterial virus – was one of the most prominent to have been made by a multicultural British artist at the time.

Part boat, part package, part city, part animal, part infestation, “Hemmed in Two” demonstrates the beauty of failure. It is made out of a material that is very useful, an everyday material, and a perishable material.

It is a reflection on the global “commodification” of culture and its history, while the barcodes acknowledge that this piece is itself a commodity which can become cargo or freight as soon as it leaves the studio. At once shambolic and magnificent, with references to baroque, medieval and Islamic architecture, “Hemmed in Two” grew organically in the way of Kurt Schwitter’s “Merz Barn”. The piece is re-configured for each venue.

Literally built onto an original piece titled

fabric, casting and collage. This work, “I Have Found a Song”, is a book made by Locke in collaboration with

Art, Kansas City collection, The RSID Museum, Rhode Island, The New Art Gallery Walsall, The Victoria & Albert Museum Drawing Collection, London, The British Museum, London and The Henry Moore Institute, Leeds.

Locke shot to international prominence in 2000 when he was awarded both a Paul Hamlyn Award and the EAST International Award. The same year he created the installation “Hemmed in Two” for the Victoria & Albert Museum. Still one of his most famous works, this sculpture – a fu-

“Hemmed In” (1999), “Hemmed In Two” was developed as an intervention into the fabric of the Victoria and Albert Museum, and references the museums’ collection and problematic history. “Hemmed in Two” incorporates a piece called “Merchandise”, which itself incorporates a figure from “Raft”.

The artist does not have a preferred medium, instead utilising any that supports the message that he is trying to impart. A trained sculptor, he is similarly skilled in painting, drawing, photography, relief,

Chris Steele-Perkins, Paula Rego, Shanti Panchal and Sonia Boyce.

His inspiration is drawn from a wide range of sources including baroque, rococo, Hindu, Islamic and colonial architecture along with fairground and carnival art and cumfa, a local form of voodoo in British Guiana where he grew up.

One of his most recent pieces, ‘Selene’, is a permanent artwork in Carlisle Street, Soho, London, commissioned by the Nadler Soho Hotel.

“Selene is named for the Greek goddess of the moon

and of magic. I was commissioned to create a sculpture representing ‘Sleep’. I want-

ed to make a classical statue with a contemporary twist, and was keen to create a statue of a black woman, rare in London. The statue is informed by Art Nouveau, Victorian fairy paintings (especially those of Atkinson Grimshaw), and by the sight of a group of tall, glamorous drag queens parading down the road in Soho at three o'clock one afternoon. She is a powerful goddess reworked for today’s London - a dream-weaver and magical protector.

“Selene floats at the centre of a galaxy of stars, offering garlands representing magical potions associated with sleep and love. Referencing Theatre land, I have included belladonna (a plant proposed as being that creating Juliet's deepsleep in ‘Romeo and Juliet’) and pansies (used as a love potion in “A Midsummer’s Night's Dream”). Two different night-blooming flowers known as 'Queen of the Night' - one a type of cactus, the other a type of jasmine - are joined by winged

masks of the Greek personification of sleep, Hypnos. She also holds night-blooming dragon fruit flowers, this particular variety is named the 'David Bowie', and references Ziggy Stardust's associations with Soho.” he explained on his website.

As an artist with a diverse cultural background, multiculturalism is a recurrent theme in his work. His imagery is punctuated throughout with visual expressions of globalisation, movement of peoples, ships and boats, colonialism, power and trophies. In recent years, Locke has focused on his fascination and ambivalence around ideas and images of “Britishness” in a global context, such as the royal family. Locke explores global cultural fusions, creating complex sculptural collages with an eclectic range of objects, including mass produced toys, souvenirs and consumer detritus. (Excerpted from www.artfinder.com, www.hewlocke. net)

Potaro Bridge

The Montreal Gazette of Nov. 9, 1933 reported under its headline, “Huge Bridge opened. Five Days Cut from Time to Reach Potaro Gold Area” that a new suspension bridge had been constructed over the Garraway River for “the horde of fortune seekers expected to trek across it in search of gold in British Guiana’s hinterland.”

Also known as Garraway Stream Bridge or Denham Bridge, the Potaro Bridge is located at the extreme end

of the Bartica-Potaro Road over the Potaro River, some 120 miles from Bartica. Its moniker “Denham Bridge” derives from Sir Edward Denham, at the time Governor Denham of the colony, who declared the bridge opened November 8, 1933. It is said to be the only suspension bridge in the country capable of supporting heavy vehicles. Spanning 333 feet with two steel trusses suspended by steel cables connected to two reinforced concrete tow-

ers on each river bank, the Potaro Bridge was designed to carry a live load of 20 tons.

It was constructed by Scottish civil engineer and general contractor John Aldi (he was interred at Bartica’s Sorrow Hill Cemetery).

According to the Montreal Gazette, the scissors used to cut the ribbon to officially declare the bridge open was made from gold from one of the first shipments that came out of the area.

Demerara Harbour Bridge

The Demerara Harbour Bridge was commissioned on July 2, 1978, several years after its construction had begun on May 29, 1976.It crosses the Demerara River south of Georgetown, from Peter’s Hall, East Bank Demerara to Schoon Ord, West Bank Demerara.

The 6,074-foot (1,851 m) long floating toll bridge was erected after the government of the day decided there was an urgent need to accomodate the increasing

trade and business between the capital city and the west bank of the Demerara River.

The idea of a bridge across the Demerara River is said to have been a dream of the late John Cogland, a sea captain who was also a member of the colonial legislative council. Cogland had proposed the bridging of the two banks of the river as part of a transportation route.

The bridge’s original site was located near Rahaman’s Park. However, the-then

harbour master had second thoughts on the site, coming to the belief that it was too close to the wharf at the Demerara Sugar terminal and would become a “ navigational nightmare” for ships arriving at the port.

The new site for the bridge between Bagotstown and Peter’s Hall was eventually agreed upon,though its construction plans had to be tweaked a bit since the river was 770 ft wider there than the earlier proposed site.

Brain Teaser Answer

This rather popular substance is water. At 32 degrees Fahrenheit, the density of ice is .9175, whereas the density of water at 32 degrees is .9988. When you add ice to water, you will notice it always floats.

KID SUDOKU CROSSWORD

SUDOKU

Visit the Haven for the Elusive Jaguar

Guyana dubbed one of the last places on Earth where the jaguar still thrives

You may know the jaguar as “turtle tiger”, “kaikusi”,” kaigouch”, “baudikoro” or “kinyaridi din” – the large spotted cat leaving handsized foot prints in the mud, or “coughing” in the dark of night. Seen by few, feared by many, the jaguar has inspired stories and legends since ancient times; a symbol of strength and beauty.

These elusive beasts are the largest cat in the

distinguished from any other animal in Guyana.

Big bodies, of course, need plenty of food. With the most powerful jaws of all big cats, jaguars can eat anything. More than 80 species of animals are part of their meat diet. Depending on availability, jaguars may dine on capybara (watrush), peccary (bush hog), or caiman (alligator), but also on fish and armadillos. The bigger prey animals receive a

have spotted them.

As much as jaguars tend to avoid people, they do share the same environment and food preferences, and now and then this leads to conflict, especially when jaguars attack livestock or pets. Why jaguars kill cows and other domestic animals is not always clear. The presence of these domestic animals in the jaguar’s natural habitat and their resemblance to natural prey

Americas. Weighing anywhere between 100-220 pounds, they stand over 2ft tall and measure about 5ft from nose to tail base. Jaguars are solitary, but you may encounter a male and female travelling together during mating or a mother with her cubs that by the time they leave her look fully grown. The typical rosette pattern on a jaguar’s coat is sometimes covered in black, because of a genetic variation called melanism. But black or patterned, their bulky bodies are easily

crushing bite at the back of the skull. Unlike the puma (deer tiger), jaguars will not cover up the dead animal with leaves or branches. While curious in nature, jaguars prefer to hide from people and will not attack unless they feel threatened. Naturally, many fear jaguars. The sheer size and power of this big predator makes people feel small and vulnerable. That is why even people that regularly walk through jaguar territory rarely spot them, although surely the jaguars

is an important factor. But sometimes domestic animals are also easier than other prey, for example when the jaguar is old, injured or has to care for cubs. And where natural prey is scarce, jaguars are left with no alternative.

Conflict with people over domestic animals is one of the main threats to jaguars. Understandably, people try to protect their livelihoods and they often know no better way than to kill the jaguar, even though this is usually just a temporary

their food disappears, driving jaguars closer to people and their livestock, and causing even more conflict.

Once we believed that putting large predators inside protected areas away from people would be the happy ending for all: the animals thrive, and people would no longer have to fear them. But animals do not understand our borders, and large animals need large spaces. Thus, most protected areas are too small to maintain healthy populations. A new, innovative approach to conservation aims to connect jaguar populations in protected areas through human landscapes by studying how jaguars use these landscapes and by assisting in reducing con-

the wild forever. Why would we want jaguars around at all if they cause harm to our livelihoods? Because jaguars help protect our crops from the animals that damage them; jaguars attract tourists; they help keep disease away from the animals we hunt; jaguars help keep our forests healthy, so we can harvest timber; they are part of our history and culture and we want to share this with our children; and jaguars are part of the web of life that we depend upon for our well-being. We can solve conflicts with jaguars, but we cannot reverse extinction or the consequences this has for our health and economy. Notably, Guyana is

solution. It is temporary because other jaguars will then move to occupy that territory and sooner or later might attack unattended livestock. Another major threat to jaguars is the disappearance of their habitat. Together with the habitat

flict. Guyana is an official partner in this international effort, led by Panthera- a global organisation devoted to the conservation of the largest and most imperilled wild cat species, to ensure that the jaguar will live in

one of the last places on Earth where the jaguar still thrives.

To read more about jaguars and their conservation, visit www.panthera.org (Submitted by Panthera)

24 Times Last Laugh

Books and Movies you Shouldn’t Miss

By Melvin Durai

Iwas chatting with a friend - let’s call him

Varun - about books and movies. Varun considers himself an expert on almost everything. So I asked him to name his favorite books and movies.

VARUN: Well, one of my favorite books is Salman Rushdie’s “M. Night’s Children”.

ME: Don’t you mean “Midnight’s Children?”

VARUN: No, “M. Night’s Children”. It’s the story of two brave girls who delete a movie script on their father’s computer, saving the world from another disaster.

ME: Wow, Salman is amazing. Give the man a Nobel already! What other books do you like?

VARUN: I really love Jhumpa Lahiri’s first book “Interpreter of My Laddoos”.

ME: Don’t you mean “Interpreter of Maladies?”

VARUN: No,”Interpreter of My Laddoos”. It’s the story of a woman named Anjali who owns an Indian restaurant in New York and tries to win the attention of a handsome IT specialist by giving him two free laddoos after every meal. She keeps wondering if he will get the message.

ME: Jhumpa is fantastic. Where does she get her ideas?

VARUN: Yes, she’s fabulous. I also like her latest book: “Unaccustomed Girth”.

ME: Don’t you mean “Unaccustomed Earth”?

VARUN: No, “Unaccustomed Girth”. It’s the story of a skinny lad from Kolkata named Gopal who comes to America to study at Boston University and falls in love with the allyou-can-eat buffet.

ME: Another winner from Jhumpa! What other books do you like?

VARUN: Well, I really like Chetan Bhagat’s “Five Pint Someone: What not to do at MIT”.

ME: Don’t you mean “Five Point Someone: What not to do at IIT”?

VARUN: No, “Five Pint Someone”. It’s the story of an Indian student named Hari who miraculously gets into MIT, then finds himself hanging out at the local bar with his friends Alok and Ryan — and the professor’s daughter, Neha — downing at least five pints a night.

ME: Another literary classic from Chetan! What else do you like?

VARUN: Well, I absolutely love V.S. Naipaul’s “Half a Wife”.

ME: Don’t you mean “Half a Life?”

VARUN: No, “Half a Wife”. It’s the story of Sir Vidia, the greatest writer in the history of the world, and his mistress, Margaret. At times, he actually thinks he is married to her. A certain part of her, anyway.

ME: That story sounds familiar. What about movies? Which ones are your favorites?

VARUN: Well, I really like the movie “Scumbag Millionaire”.

ME: Don’t you mean “Slumdog Millionaire”?

VARUN: No, “Scumbag Millionaire”. It’s the story of Mahender and Varsha, a New York ouple who make millions in the perfume industry, but can’t help saving a few bucks by enslaving their domestic workers.

ME: I bet Om Puri plays the role of Mahender. What else do you like?

VARUN: I loved “Mamma M.I.A.” And not just for the music.

ME: Don’t you mean “Mamma Mia”?

VARUN: No, “Mamma M.I.A”. It’s the story of a popular singer named Mathangi who gets engaged and has a baby, then tries to keep her career from plummeting like a paper plane.

ME: I think I’ve seen that movie before. What else do you like?

VARUN: One of my favorite movies of all time is the comedy “When Hari Met Sari”.

ME: Don’t you mean “When Harry Met Sally”?

VARUN: No, “When Hari Met Sari”. It’s the story of a man named Hari who loves the beautiful silk saris his wife, Anu, wears. Then one day, while she’s shopping at the mall, he tries one on himself. And his life is never the same again.

ME: A Deepa Mehta movie, I’m sure. What else do you like?

VARUN: I really love “The Chronicles of Sania”.

ME: Don’t you mean “The Chronicles of Narnia”?

VARUN: No, “The Chronicles of Sania”. It’s the story of a tennis star from Hyderabad who makes tons of money through endorsements and caps her career by becoming the first Indian tennis player to win a starring role in a Bollywood movie.

Me: I love sports movies.

VARUN: Yeah, me too. In fact, one of my all-time favorites is a movie called “Death Vish”.

Me: Don’t you mean “Death Wish”? I think it’s a Charles Bronson movie.

VARUN: No, “Death Vish”. It’s the story of an Indian chess player named Vishwanathan who beats all the Russians, Ukrainians and anyone else who has a Death Vish.

Old Advertisement Humour

Riddles for Kids

Q: What is a polygon?

A: A dead parrot!

Q: What kind of bird works at a construction site?

A: The crane!

Q: What dog keeps the best time?

A: A watch dog!

Q: What was the elephant’s favorite sport?

A: Squash

Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?

A: You take away its credit cards!

Misunderstanding

Mrs. Green lived in two story house together with an elderly widow. After not hearing from her for a few days, she got a bit nervous.

“John”, she called to her son “do me a favor and go find out how Old Mrs Robinson is.”

So six year old John went down the stairs and knocked on Mrs. Robinson’s door.

“So how is she?” asked Mrs. Green when John came back up.

“How is she?” repeated John “I’ve never seen her so mad in my life; she said it’s none of your business how old she is.”

Hearing Aids

While working in a post office, a lady barged in complaining that she got home to find a note from the mail man saying that he tried to deliver a package but nobody was home.

“My husband was home all day!”, she fumed.

After giving her the package I heard her tell somebody “Oh, I’m so excited, my husband's new hearing aids!”

Excuses, excuses

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over.

“Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.”

“I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.”

“Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.”

“Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.”

“Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.”

“Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.”

“Can’t do that either” responds Jim.

“Why not?” demanded the exasperated cop.

“Well, because I’m drunk!”

Experienced

I was very happy when an acquaintance of mine informed me that she was

engaged. Trying to help, I told her that before my marriage, I went for premarital counseling and found it very helpful.

“Oh, we don’t need counseling,” she quickly assured me, “we were both married several times before!”

Can’t Recall

The neighbors thought it was odd, but 93-year-old Morton was dating again. One Monday morning Morton woke up with a funny feeling that something important happened last night. It was during breakfast, that Morton finally remembered what it was. He had proposed to his date Greta. But what she answered he just couldn’t seem to remember.

Morton picked up the phone and dialed.

”Hi Greta”, said Morton, “I have a funny question for you: do you remember last night when I proposed?”

”Oh my gosh” gushed Greta, “I’m so glad you called, I knew I said yes to somebody but I just couldn’t recall who it was!”

Absent From Church

Harry walked over to the priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary I would like to attend church next week but I just can’t miss the big game next Sunday, it’s just out of the question.”

“Oh Harry Harry” said the priest putting his arm around Harry, “don’t you know? That’s what recorders are for.” Harry’s face lit up “You mean I could record your sermon?”

Diagnosis

A lady went to a doctor’s office where she was seen by a doctor. A few minutes into the examination, screeching could be heard from the room, and then the lady burst out of the room as if running for her life.

After much effort a nurse finally managed to calm her down enough to tell her story.

The nurse barged into the office of the doctor and screamed, “Shame on you, Mrs Smith is 82 years old, and you told her she’s pregnant!”

The doctor continued writing calmly and, barely looking up, said, “Does she still have the hiccups”

The Present

John gingerly walked up to the sales lady in the clothing store.

“I would like to buy my wife a pretty pink scarf. ”

“How cute” exclaimed the sales lady, ”sounds like it’s going to be a great surprise.”

“It sure is,” said John “she’s expecting a new car!”