Table of Con
ntents
WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO BE YOURSELF
OR HAVE YOU ALWAYS BEEN? “Honestly COVID really broke me down to being with just myself. And there I found out I love being her and why live any other way?? I not only love being her, but I am proud to wear my skin and be myself. Once that happens, there’s no going back, but instead only going up.”
“Still don’t feel like myself”
“Almost every day I wake up with the uncomfortable feeling that I’m running out of time and I’m not nearly as successful as I could be. I think that I feel this way because I am not fully myself yet and am relying on outside influences to tell me what I should be like. But in another sense, I think I am myself, because I’ve decided that maybe I’m just uncertain and that’s okay.”
“Probably my junior year of [high school] when I started doing PSEO (college in school). I am Asian and I’m not trying to earn sympathy, but growing up in a predominantly white school district was very hard for me. I was trying to fit in. On top of this, I was super dorky. I finally learned to embrace it when I saw the positive effects of my hard work and determination finally start to pay off. I’m very proud of who I am today and I don’t wish I was anyone else (something I used to wish for.) I wish I told my middle school self to just be happy and confident.”
“When I decided to come out as bi in my sophomore year and genderfluid this year.”
“ I gave up on caring what others thought, so I realized that I just wanted to be me and learn what that meant for me. I wanted to figure out what I actually wanted, who I was, and how I see the world without the influence of others.”
“I struggle with consistently being myself. My anxiety hits and I question my true “self.” Because I never know what version of myself is genuine, I always feel like I’m in some sort of identity crisis”
“When I stepped into a new environment with new people and new experiences. I needed to figure out who I was without the things, people, and places that had become so familiar to me.”
“I would say around the time I graduated. Just realized what people think about me doesn’t matter in the big picture.”
“I’m working on it but don’t know if I’m there yet. I think throughout my life I have had times when I’ve been better at being myself and times when I’ve felt like it’s hard to be myself. I feel like it’s very opposite for many people, but I really feel like in high school I was very comfortable with myself and going to college and transferring colleges and meeting new people and dating different people I have lost touch of myself and do not feel like I’m very good at being totally as me as I used to be, but I’m working on it.” “When it became too much to hide and I realized that my happiness should come first. I have an obligation to please my parents or extended family, and that took a long time to come to terms with. It is still a struggle, but I constantly remind myself that I am being true and that’s all that matters.”
“Freshman year of college when I went from being a “somebody” in a small town to a nobody in a big city. It was a very freeing feeling realizing no one cares what you’re doing, everyone is busy worrying about themselves.”
“When I feel that the people I am around accept me for who I am or I am in an environment that I feel like I can express myself” “I decided on it during 2020. Everything that’s happened made me realize that living life to the fullest is the best way to live, and not to have regrets.” “I don’t know that I am entirely myself. Still learning who that is:)”
Investigating The Cultural Phenomena Behind True Crime Podcasts
by Kayla Ignatowicz
Twenty minutes prior to my departure for a girl’s trip to the cabin, I got a call from my friend Claire. “The groceries are packed, I’ve got blankets and pillows—I think I have everything. I even downloaded a few podcasts for the trip.” As an infrequent podcast listener myself, this detail caught my attention. Throwing together playlists for road trips is, in my opinion, one of the finer things in life. Yet, upon crawling into Claire’s blanket-and-pillow-ridden backseat I was met with the lively chatter of a true crime podcast host, and realized that I had been missing out. The three-hour drive passed in the blink of an eye. My friends and I sat in silence strained with anticipation of what was going to happen next in the story. I had heard of true crime, of course, but up until that point I had never realized just how (and perhaps unfortunately) captivating the gory details of a murder could be. Looking back, it all seems a little dystopian: finding road trip entertainment in someone else’s grim demise seems to be taken straight out of a Suzanne Collins novel, but my friends and I are anything but alone in our appreciation for true crime stories. The genre has been on the rise for years, culminating in a third place ranking for this year’s most popular podcast genre. Looking at the culture that brought this genre to popularity - its relevance seems out of place. When I think of society, especially now, it seems filter-frenzied with emphasis on prioritizing perfection over personhood. The social demand for excellence:
excellent grades, excellent friends, excellent family, excellent facial symmetry, excellent life—has been magnified by internet presence creeping further and further into our lives. Technology like Instagram and Facetime keep the spotlight on us constantly, and it sometimes feels impossible to keep up the image of perfection. Maybe that’s why true crime has become such a cultural phenomenon, I thought. The crimes are grisly but, hey, at least they aren’t sugar coated. Maybe the taboo itself is magnetic for audiences. Exposure to the worst of humanity is more human than the artificial err of perfection many of us wrap ourselves in. Digging even deeper I realized that not everyone loves true crime. A study from the University of South Carolina revealed that nearly 75% of true crime podcast consumers are female. This confused me until, upon further investigation, I found out that 82% of the perpetrators represented in the media were male, and a similar percentage of victims were female (statistics that roughly mirror the gender ratio of serial killers/killings in real life). These statistics indicate a far more concrete, more imminent social issue than the abstract desire for authenticity I figured it was; true crime is at the top of the charts because women are petrified of what has happened to others happening to them. Most of us are familiar with the man-attacking-women narrative—men attacking women on the street, in their house, in their car. The pepper spray market is predicted to triple between 2020
and 2028. One in five American women have experienced attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. I can’t walk at night because I might be kidnapped. I can’t say no to a date because I might be stalked. I can’t leave the house without wondering if this is the time my story gets twisted into true crime content for college kids to pass the time with on their road trip. Speaking from a personal place identifying as female in this social context is suffocating. More than a pay gap, more than a tampon tax. True crime is the third most listened to genre of podcast because women don’t want to become a more acute statistic than a podcast listener. I feel it’s also necessary to discuss the role of race in these podcasts. How many episodes have you heard discussing people of color? The phrase missing white woman syndrome, coined in 2004, comes to mind. Even though POC are at a disproportionately higher risk for violence, they are far more sparingly lended
phrase also acknowledges the lack of nonbinary and trans individuals covered in these podcasts—though both are also at heightened risk of violence. These podcasts are indicative of a dark side of humanity – not just because we like to be thrilled by gruesome crimes. A misogynistic society breathed life into this media; intersectional oppression just propelled it further. While social context sets the stage for media to flourish, that’s not to say it’s the only determining factor of its success. Maybe true crime is surface level; maybe we really do just love a good, gory crime story. To be honest, in the backseat of my friend's car, that was really my only impression of the podcast. What a weird story. As the cabin edged into visibility and our third consecutive episode of true crime drew to a close, I drew a shaky breath. “On the way home, I call AUX.”
by Meg
gan Phillips
WHAT DOES A FU TURE
WI TH
FASHION A
Q&A
WITH
SUS TAINABLE
LUCY
LOOK
DUNNE
AND
LIKE?
LAUREN
KIM
BY KAYLA IGNATOWICZ
Clothing trends and fast fashion are impacting more than just our wardrobes. The environment is at stake—here’s how we can help Trendy, cute, dirt cheap—if you’ve ever placed an order with Shein, Forever21 or H&M, you’re familiar with the appeal of fast fashion brands. The term fast fashion, referring to the short life cycle of the clothes from concept to clothing rack, has become a buzzword over the past decade. It’s no mystery why either; regardless of how popular these brands are, fast fashion has become an object of heavy scrutiny for its unethical and unsustainable practices. Overseas child labor is integral to the business models of these companies and the low-grade, rapidly-produced textiles directly increase carbon êčüġġüēĎġǔ ķÖħêĞ ķÖġħê ÖĎèǔ ķúêĎ ħúê Ĝüêâêġ üĎêĶüħÖáĉĽ ôÖĉĉ ÖĜÖĞħǔ ĉÖĎèȦĉĉǓ MīĞ âĉēħúüĎõ âēĎġīčĜħüēĎ úÖáüħġ úÖĶê õĞēķĎ scarier and scarier, but cycles can be broken. University of Minnesota professors Lucy Dunne, director of the Apparel Design Studies program, and Lauren Kim, an expert in textile technology with a focus on sustainable consumption, share their thoughts about how the future of fashion is shaping up—and whether or not we can reform our destructive apparel dystopia. What’s your take on fashion trends nowadays? LD: Well, I think COVID has disrupted things a lot, both in terms of how the industry can operate—think supply chains, work practices, etc—and in terms of what people want and prioritize. One of the things that I think is most interesting right Ďēķ üġ ħúê ķÖĽ ħúÖħ Ö ôêķ èüȥêĞêĎħ ôÖâħēĞġ úÖĶê âēčê ħēõêħúêĞ ħē áīüĉè Ö ćüĎè ēô LjĞêčüļlj âīĉħīĞêǓ xēīĎõêĞ ĜêēĜĉê ÖĞê èüȥêĞêĎħ ôĞēč ĜĞêĶüēīġ õêĎêĞÖħüēĎġ üĎ ħúÖħ ħúêĽ ÖĞê êļĜēġêè ħē ġħīȥ ôĞēč čÖĎĽ èüȥêĞêĎħ ħüčê ĜêĞüēèġ Öĉĉ Öħ ēĎâêǔ ĜêĞġēĎÖĉüłêè ħē ġēčêħúüĎõ Öáēīħ ħúêüĞ ġĜêâüȦâ ħÖġħêġ ĞÖħúêĞ ħúÖĎ Ö čÖĞćêħüĎõ êļêâīħüĶêLJġ ÖġġīčĜħüēĎġǓ -ēĞ êļÖčĜĉêǔ Hêħȧüļ ĞêâēččêĎèġ ēĉè ġħīȥ Öġ ķêĉĉ Öġ Ďêķ ġħīȥǔ áīħ üħLJġ ĉüĎćêè ἠġēčêħúüĎõ Öáēīħ ħúê ćüĎè ēô content you like. Recommendation algorithms are much harder for clothing, but there’s still an êȥêâħƹÖĎè ôēĞ âĉēħúüĎõǔ ħúêĞêLJġ Öĉġē ħúê Ğüġê ēô ħúê ġêâēĎèƵúÖĎè čÖĞćêħǔ ķúüâú čêÖĎġ ħúÖħ ħĞêĎèġ ôĞēč èüȥêĞêĎħ ĽêÖĞġ ÖĞê õêħħüĎõ čüļêè ħēõêħúêĞ üĎ Ö ķÖĽ ħúÖħ ķê úÖĶêĎLJħ ĞêÖĉĉĽ ġêêĎ before. Fashion has always drawn from history and always done some kind of constant ĞêčüļüĎõǔ áīħ üħ ôêêĉġ èüȥêĞêĎħ Ğüõúħ ĎēķǓ LK: Before fast fashion came about, we would have four seasons (or even two!) like spring, summer, and then fall, winter, right? But with companies like H&M and Zara, they change their seasons in weeks. If you go into a store, in just two weeks you will see an êĎħüĞêĉĽ èüȥêĞêĎħ ĜĞēèīâħ ĞÖĎõê ÖĶÖüĉÖáĉê ôēĞ ġÖĉêǓ xēī ĞêÖĉĉĽ Ďêêè ħē čÖćê Ö èêâüġüēĎ fast, then, because they’ll be gone in a few days. That kind of signaled to consumers that it’s okay if your taste changes in just a few days. These expectations also outgrew fast fashion—now, it’s all fashion brands. When we walk into a store or look at a ĞīĎķÖĽǔ ķê ķÖĎħ ħē ġêê èüȥêĞêĎħ ħĽĜêġ ēô ĜĞēèīâħġ ÖĎè ķê ķÖĎħ ħúêč ÖĶÖüĉÖáĉê instantly. So the entire pace—designing, manufacturing, all that—shifted to a much shorter time frame. And that, in a way, has to do with social media üĎȧīêĎâêǓ xēīĎõêĞ õêĎêĞÖħüēĎġ èēĎLJħ ķÖĎħ ħē ĉēēć ĉüćê ħúêĽLJĞê ķêÖĞüĎõ something over and over. And, kind of interestingly, while the demand for fast fashion has grown exponentially, a lot of the younger generations are also demanding sustainable consumption. Research is being done –maybe when we go into a fashion store we make sure that there’s no child labor involved – [to make sure] that all the materials used are actually organic and good for the environment. Consumers, for the longest time, only looked at price and design when making a decision to buy something, but now they’re introducing all these new variables when they’re thinking about consumption.