A First-Class Digest of Adulthood--Uncensored.
GODDESS COLUMN magazine
CHEENO GREY Acheiving the dream beginning the career, building the brand. PAGE 22
SEVEN SIGNS OF THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE WITH
TWENTY ONE ‘GETTING TO KNOW YOU’ QUESTIONS
Dating is difficult enough as it is. Here’s how to avoid wasting your time.
You need to know more than his favorite color. Let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?
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issue no. 01 | january 2018
www.thegoddesscolumn.com
ISIS NEZBETH editor
TIA JOHNSON contributing writer
MONIQUE ROSE contributing writer
COVER ARTIST Stephen Fields
A Le t t er From The E DI T OR
. Week to time in john. Son elegance use weddings separate. Ask too matter formed county wicket oppose talent. Oh. Em. Gee. I am so elated that the time has finally come for Goddess Column Magazine to be released for your reading pleasure! I have been working on this project for what feels like forever, but she has finally arrived! I hope that this magazine will be a fresh take on the ‘zine world’ as you know it and that you will become a proud supporter just as much as I am a proud editor! The Goddess Column has consistently done well since our start online, but our concentration there is relationships for the most part so I wanted to give you more. My aspiration was to bring back the type of content The Goddess Column was originally founded on, but I had to find a way to kick it to you fresh, ya know? Hence the very first issue of Goddess Column Magazine. I only have one request during this momentous time in The Goddess Column’s career. When you finish reading this issue, please let me know your honest thoughts by reaching out to me via social media @GoddessColumn. I want to know what you loved, what you’d prefer to see, who you want to see on the cover--any and everything that makes this the best reading experience for you. That is what you deserve and that is what you’re going to get from me and The Goddess Column team. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This one is truly for you. Without further delay, I give you Goddess Column Magazine… All my love.
Isis Nezbeth 2
thegoddesscolumn.com | JANUARY 2018
contents 04 I Finally Stole My Body Back From My Milk- Crazed Toddler
To be honest, it didn’t take as much as I thought it would to get her to stop.
08 How To keep Her Once You Catch Her Getting the girl is only half the battle, here’s what you should do next.
12 Everybody’s Happy Ain’t Your Happy Happiness looks different for all of us. What does yours look like?
14 4 Obvious Signs Of A Failing Friendship Because not all heartbreak comes from a romantic relationship.
18 Twenty-one ‘Getting To Know You’ Questions Knowing his favorite color is nice, but let’s dig a little deeper.
20 7 Signs Of The One You Should Be With Dating is difficult enough as it is. Here’s how to avoid wasting your time.
22 The Journey Of Cheeno Grey
Acheiving the dream, beginning the career, and building the brand.
26 Dating With Children We’re a package deal, baby.
30 What To Do Inside When It’s Cold AF Outside Because we understand that not everybody loves the cold as much as we do.
32 5 Ultimate Benefits To Traveling Solo You’d be surprised at where a little bravery can take you.
36 A Love Letter For Those Who Fall Fast And Hard
You are not alone.
38 30-Something Ways To Avoid Wasting
Someone’s Time
We’re supposed to treat people the way we want to be treated, right?
44 5 Simple Ways To Relax In Ten Minutes It’s time to relax, superwoman.
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PARENTING
I FINALLY STOLE MY BODY BACK FROM MY MILK-CRAZED TODDLER Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Jazmin Quaynor
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PARENTING
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NE OF THE first (and by far the most irritating) things a person says when they see your toddler breastfeeding is, “how long are you going to do that for?” Breastfeeding is a smart, frugal, and extremely healthy choice for any growing child and in my opinion, there is no right or wrong length of time to give your child some of the healthiest nutrients they can get. Some mothers stop just after six weeks, while others can make it until their child is five or six years old. It is completely up to the mother as to how long she chooses to breastfeed her child. I will say, although there is no right or wrong length of time to breastfeed, there does come the appropriate time for the mother to choose when she will stop. There
will come a time where the mother will see that her child is no longer feeding because they are hungry, but more so out of comfort and familiarity. My toddler was a bit boob obsessed. She was like a leech--literally--anytime my breast were eye-level or in arm’s reach she would aggressively pull my shirt down and begin to feed. If she hurt herself, she instantly wanted “booboo,” as we called it. God forbid I got close to another human… she would literally latch on and give them a death stare that could literally kill if looks could do such a thing. It became territorial, aggressive, and quite frankly, a pain in my ass. Location was of no concern either. It didn’t matter if I was at church, at the grocery store, or even in the comfort of our own home. When
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DAT I NG
HOW TO K EEP HER ONCE YOU CAT CH HE R Getting the girl is only half the battle. What are you going to do to make sure she sticks around? Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Matheus Ferrero
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DAT I NG
This isn’t a topic that only applies to the men, but I’m going to focus on the female perspective here just to keep the conversation focused. As a disclaimer, if you’re a woman who pursued her man, please apply the tips to your personal situation. I feel that the person who initiated the relationship should take first responsibility in maintaining the relationship. Hopefully you’re in a relationship with someone who desires to match your efforts, but sometimes that’s not really the case. Not because they don’t care, but because they’re thinking to themselves that you’re the one who pursued them. They have become accustomed to the things that won them over in the first place so they expect you to keep those things up throughout the duration of the relationship. That’s another reason why it’s so important to be yourself when you’re courting and dating because it won’t be expected just once.
ABOVE Sandy dunes of the deadliest deserts of all the deserts
More often than not, what happens in a relationship is that one or both partners get comfortable and then the small things that each of you once loved ends up not happening anymore. A lot of times it goes unnoticed even. The two of you naturally stop putting in the same amount of effort as you did in the beginning of the relationship. This is usually how one of the two end up catching feelings for someone else, who really doesn’t even compare to the person you’re with but they have replenished the feeling you were longing for from your partner. It’s so important to
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LIFESTYLE
Everybody’s Happy Ain’t Your Happy Written by Monique Rose
T
ODAY I SAT at my desk and watched a man propose to his girlfriend. It was the sweetest surprise for her. It was staged as a photo shoot for her upcoming graduation that turned into a moment that will last a lifetime for the couple. Nothing but tears from the gentleman and his future wife, hell, even I was teary-eyed. I even watched a dear friend break the internet this week with her bundle of joy announcement. Nothing fancy just a subtle slay! It’s moments like this that I live for on social media! These precious moments are truly what we should see more of, celebratory times, graduations, promotions, birthdays, etc. But do you find yourself looking at someone’s
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happy moments and asking why not me? Or wish it was you in their shoes? Of course, we all have a time or two, but I’m here to tell you everybody’s happy ain’t your happy. But do you know what it takes to be in a fully committed, monogamous relationship? We always want the happy ending but don’t want to put in the work to get there. I know couples that are happily married but have lived in different cities from their significant other, dealt with infidelity, struggled with demons, disagreed on religion, and were financially unstable. Just knowing that ask yourself, could you make it to the happy ending? Are you built for this lifestyle that you gawk over? We never know anyone’s story, and everyone story isn’t ours. It takes a lot of hard work to be in any relationship, work any job, or even be that great spouse or mom. We are all aware of our limits and what we are capable of handling but along comes that question, “Are you putting in the work?” You can’t
thegoddesscolumn.com | JANUARY 2018
LEFT Photo by Guilherme Stecanella ABOVE Photo by Jeremy Bishop RIGHT Photo by Brian Fraser
LIFESTYLE
expect a happy ending without getting a little dirty. Nothing comes easy. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you’re not putting it what it takes to have someone else’s happy. Putting in the work comes in different forms. Sometimes we want that happily ever after, but we keep dating and chasing the same (wrong) type of man. We want prince charming, but we seem to think he’s the same person that we’ve been dating for the last ten years, only to find out that we need to change our standards and the things we accept from these men. We want to have three college degrees, but we don’t want to study. We want to be recognized as leaders, but too busy getting in our own way. Hell, we aspire to be entrepreneurs but won’t take the first step to do the research.
We are living in a world where we want the glitz and glamour without the scraps and bruises. I’m sad to tell you that it will never happen that way and until you’re ready, your happiness will never be your own. I encourage anyone reading this to take some time and write down seven areas in your life that you would like to be happier. Write down what’s working in those areas and what’s not. The things that aren’t working CHANGE THEM. Do a complete 180 in those areas. Take out everything that hasn’t worked and implement new things. Even if it makes you uncomfortable do it! Being uncomfortable makes us move a lot faster. Set short and long-term goals where applicable and reward yourself. You will not only change the way you have normally done these things, but you will explore new options and find your happiness!
M
ONIQUE ROSE BETTER know as Mo’ is a native of the garden city. She’s a daughter, sister, mother and a best friend. She attended T. W. Josey High School and Paine College. Since a small child she has enjoyed putting pen to paper and making her thoughts come alive. In October if 2015 she launched her blog site Justalilmo.com and has intrigued her readers with topics of mental health, racism, love and so much more. As a blogger Mo’ decided to take her blog topics a little further and is launching her own podcast in January of 2018.
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LIFESTYLE
4 Obvious Signs Of A Failing Friendship ...because not all heartbreak comes from a romantic relationship. Written by Isis Nezbeth
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LIFESTYLE
If you didn’t already get the memo, we’re leaving toxic relationships back in 2017. While some of us had to get rid of toxic romantic relationships, others need to reevaluate their use of the ‘F’ word--friend. Needless to say, not all heartbreak comes from failed romantic relationships. Family can break your heart and so can friends. Usually when people recount the heartbreak they have experienced in life, they don’t think of the heartbreak caused by breaking up with friends. I’m a firm believer that friendship is just as intimate a relationship as a romantic relationship can be. Just like with a romantic relationship, with friendships your choosing to accept, love, and be loyal to someone in spite of their flaws and imperfections. This requires trust--and I always say, anything that involves trust can lead to disappointment and heartache because it’s not always a two-way street. I want to touch on something before we get into the signs of a failing friendship. I don’t want you to confuse the signs of a failing friendship with being involved in a meaningless friendship because I, for one, believe them to be two different things. A failing friendship means that somewhere down the line, your once healthy friendship began to lose
its value, but all is not lost; things can potentially be fixed and nurtured. A meaningless friendship is a façade that brings about no sense of growth or benefit for the two involved. There is usually a common ground between the two of you that suggests friendship, still the bond is not there. Don’t allow that to fool you into thinking you’re in a fruitful relationship. Meaning, if it weren’t for the common ground that you two shared, there would be no real foundation of a friendship. So, hopefully you haven’t found yourself involved in any meaningless friendships, but do yourself the favor of checking just to be safe. Now, let’s get into these obvious signs of a failing friendship.
LEFT Photo by Clarke Sanders RIGHT Photo by Sam Manns
Common interests and feelings are no longer mutual You and your friends won’t always have the exact same interests, but chances are the reason you became friends in the first place is because the two of you have similar interests and feelings towards certain things. These things can change over time, but with healthy friendship, there is usually always something that you two are mutually interested in. This is how you spend quality time together. Going to your favorite restaurants, seeing a movie, some
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Q&A
Photo by Jez Timms
T W EN T Y ON E ‘GETTING TO KNOW YOU’ QUESTIONS Knowing his favorite color is cool, but let’s dig a littler deeper, shall we?
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Are you a sibling? I find it important to know if they have siblings or not because whether you want to face the facts or not, only children act way different than children with siblings.
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What hobbies would you get into if time and money weren’t a factor? It shows what interests they have and what types of things they are passionate about. It also shows what they would like to do with their free time which makes for get date ideas.
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What are some of your pet peeves? Why not be aware of the little things that irk the person you’re interested in? It’s better to know up front than to find it out in a less pleasant way later.
Q&A
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What is your favorite drink? It doesn’t have to be an alcoholic drink either. Find out what their favorite drink is so you can get to know them better over one the next time you both get together.
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What are you passionate about? I love asking this question to people I am getting to know because you’d be surprised how many people aren’t sure of what they’re passionate about. Great
06 late?
after a long day or if they would rather be alone at a bar. It says a lot!
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What does your dream car/house look like? Just for fun and shows what styles and luxuries they might prefer.
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If happiness were the currency, what job would make you rich? This is my absolute favorite question to ask people. This is what you want to bring out of someone you are interested
Are you usually early or
Don’t be too serious when asking this question. You’re not in a job interview or anything, still, it’s a fun question to ask to learn more about the kind of person they are.
conversation starter.
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What takes up too much of your
time? Super important question, in my opinion. Also a great conversation starter. Be open-minded, as the answer can be completely different than you might have expected.
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What are small things that could make your day better? I’m a hopeless romantic. I love finding simple ways to make someone I’m interested in smile and know that they’re on my mind.
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What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? Again, this could provide you with imperative information to win them over in the long run, but it also lets you know what they like doing in their spare time. Remember, it might not always be things you’re into.
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Do you like to read? This says a lot about a person. Listen carefully to their answer.
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What accomplishment are you most proud of so far? A good question to ask someone you’re getting to know that could identify some of the great things they’ve done in life or to shed some light on things they aspire to do.
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Do you have a close relationship with your immediate family? Some people might think this is a lot to ask someone you’re getting to know, but I think it’s very important to know how someone’s relationship with their family is. There’s no right or wrong answer, but I do think it’s a necessary question to ask.
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Would you consider yourself a risk-taker? A fun question that could really spark up a passionate conversation once you both get into the details of your story.
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What’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
Again, they might not be willing to share--and that’s okay. I still think it’s nice to watch people recount good moments and memories in their life. It also gives you an idea of what they consider romantic gestures.
in--passion. Ask this question often, as the answer may change with time.
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How do you usually start the day? Another fun question. The way you start the day pretty much maps out your attitude for the rest of the day. I think it’s important to know what routines they might have in place for their mornings.
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If you could live anywhere in the US/world, where would it be? A great question to open the floor for some open conversation.
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What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love? If they can’t answer this, they’re probably not telling the truth or embarrassed. Don’t pressure them. Just know we’ve all been dumb for love at least once.
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What’s the most valuable lesson life has taught you so far? Listen and respond. Listen and respond. LISTEN AND RESPOND!
How do you relax after a long day? I like this questions because it lets me know if they are the type of person who wants to come home to a comforting ‘me’ JANUARY 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
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SEVEN SIGNS OF THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE WITH 20
thegoddesscolumn.com | JANUARY 2018
I’ve met two kinds of men in the dating world, the ones who know exactly who and when to settle down with and the ones who wouldn’t know it if Jesus himself told him. I’m guessing if you’re reading this that you might be more of the latter--and that’s okay! After asking a couple of my male friends--who are either married or in a healthy long-term relationship--how they knew they found the one, I’ve broken down the answers that most of them shared into 7 signs you have found the person you should be with. DISCLAIMER: Obviously, I’m not saying that just because you see these signs that she is the one, but let’s look on the bright side and keep hope alive, shall we? You’ve built a genuine friendship with her. For most of the friends I asked, this is where it all began. He felt like she was one of his closest friends. He could laugh with her, lean on her, and even comment on the latest “tea” with her. Friendship is the strongest foundation
DAT I NG to any relationship.
a healthy relationship.
She motivates you in daily life.
You want similar things out of life.
No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t motivate them, do they? If she cares about you and your well-being, she will make it a personal charge to push you daily to become the best version of yourself. This is what you want in your ‘person’.
In order for the two of you to grow well together, you should want similar things out of life and your future together. If you two are meant to be, those goals are usually the same before you even have that conversation. Life is better with her in it.
She believes in you and encourages you to believe in yourself. She loves you for who you are, but she believes in the man you will grow to be as well--and she doesn’t let you forget that. She isn’t forcing you to change, but she makes you want to. She helps you to see yourself in the same light that she does.
The thought of life without her pretty much seems unbearable. Even though things may get rough from time to time, it’s never enough to make you want to give up sharing life with her. You can’t really explain it; you just know that your life feels better with her in it. You trust her.
TOP LEFT Photo by Alexandra Gorn
The sex is amazing. You deserve a great sex partner. All the friends I asked made it very clear that this was not the most important deciding factor, but that it definitely played a role in their decision-making process. I couldn’t agree more. Strong sexual compatibility makes for
You’re confident in her love. You’re confident in her strength and ability to be with you and only you. The two of you have a strong foundation built on trust. You know that she has your best interest at heart and values the relationship you have grown in together.
TOP RIGHT Photo by William Stitt TOP RIGHT Photo by Matheus Ferrero
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CHEENO
GREY
Chasing the dream, beginning the career, and building the brand. It’s all in the journey... Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Stephen Fields
The Goddess Column team was able to catch up with one of our very first and by the fiercest of interviewees, Miss Cheeno Grey. We interviewed Cheeno Grey in the beginning of 2014 when she was still in the process of chasing her dream of becoming a model. Now, it’s about 4 years later and Cheeno Grey is seriously killing the game. When asked if she’s changed any over the years, the model and creative told us, “I have changed. I’ve become more confident within myself. It’s very imperative that you know your worth in this industry.” Originally, from Miami, Cheeno is now based in Los Angeles, but also lived in Atlanta, Ga--two very huge industry cities. Many people feel like they can get their “big start” out of cities like LA and Atlanta and to be honest, we agree. Having lived in both places, we asked Cheeno if she felt it an easier process getting discovered in Atlanta or LA? “It was way easier for me in Atlanta than it was here, because I had
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more support and people I knew there. Going to LA wasn’t easy because it was a new place, new people-just everything new! I had to adjust and really find my way.” We were super encouraged by the risk she took in favor of her career, so of course, we asked her to share the best piece of advice she’s received since pursuing her dream. “Trust the process. Trust the feeling of knowing that you’re on the right path and that every bump in the road will only make you stronger.” When you’re chasing a dream, that is one of the most fruitful pieces of advice to carry with you all the time. The journey might be unfamiliar, but if you want that dream bad enough… it’s always worth the risk. She recounted some of her latest and greatest moments in her career for us, telling TGC, “the latest, and probably the most surreal, major thing I’ve done is the Google commercial; it was such a
F E AT U R E dreamlike experience. I’ve also done Miami swim week. This year was my first year going and I ended up booking a fashion show there; Miami is my hometown so that was BIG for me! I was also on ‘103.5 the beat,’ a major radio station in Miami, which was my first time being on the radio talking about modeling and my own journey. Ironically, speaking on timing, the same day I appeared on the radio was the same day the “Waterfalls” video came out. My stars were really aligned this year.” She’s absolutely right; the cosmos have definitely been in her favor. We’ve seen Cheeno Grey on our TV screens far more than once over the last year. She’s worked with renowned brands and artists--we couldn’t be more proud of how well her career has taken off. We told y’all she was something special! When asked the highlight of her career so far, she told us being booked for the “Waterfalls” video, by Stargate featuring Pink and Sia would take the cake. Of the other two women in the video, Cheeno was chosen as the main feature. Another proud moment for Cheeno Grey was booking a shoot with Nike. “So many things have happened this year, it’s hard for me to pick just one; it’s just been really fruitful. People think that most of
TOP LEFT Photo by J. Monroe BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by J. Monroe
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DATING WITH CHILDREN Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Patrick Fore
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DAT I NG
Whether you want to accept it or not, we are at the day and age where single parenting is common. There are several individuals in the dating game who already have one or more children. Although dating someone with children isn’t for everyone, I believe it takes a special being to complete a family that has already began to grow. It’s no secret that people have children out of wedlock daily. There are several reasons people have children before being married, some have children from previous relationships and marriages, and I’m sure there are a number of other reasons for the number of single parents out there. The most important thing to remember in regards to that is that it’s not your place to judge their situation. Just know that the majority of single parents didn’t sign up or expect to be single parents. So, what should that mean for a single parent who wants to get back out into the dating game? As a single mother, this has been the most popular opinion--that I need to be extremely selective and careful of who I bring around my child and that I do deserve to date someone who wants to be a part of both of our lives. I agree 100% and not just for me, personally. For you, too. This isn’t for us though, I’m writing this for the people who choose to date
single parents. If you’re a single parent looking to date another single parent, this applies to you as well. Let’s get into it, shall we? Dating with children is a risky situation, but what dating situation isn’t? The issue lies in the intent of both parties. When you’re dating with children or dating someone with children, it is crucial to understand that there is more than just the parent involved. That means you should be upfront about what you’re looking to get out of this relationship right away. Don’t assume that the parent you are dating is looking to make you the other parent right away, but still recognize that this is probably the end goal they have for any
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LIFESTYLE
Five Ultimate Benefits To Traveling Solo Written by Tia Johnson, Photo by Tia Johnson
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LIFESTYLE
P
without a doubt makes it easier to navigate my daily life. To adapt to change quickly. It’s made me less afraid to uproot my life and move to a new city for a career opportunity or start a website and new life path. Solo travel is a practice and the more I do it, the easier it gets; but more importantly, it’s given me a sense of confidence and self-efficacy.
Traveling by yourself sounds like that unappealing, last minute option when everyone you love has abandoned you and your ticket is non-refundable, but solo travel has become a movement—the boldest of choices for those wanting to dive head first into the open world. I may, of course, be biased. Life on the road alone has given me a freedom that
It’s a total cliché to say traveling is life changing, but we wouldn’t all say it if there wasn’t at least a grain of truth in it. The real world is so full of the unknown—people you’ve never meet, foods you’ve never heard of and roads that lead to places you can’t imagine—and we can thank social media for sharing the worst possible outcomes and harrowing tales at the most inopportune times that scare us into inaction. Nevertheless, the absolute truth is that those daunting situations are far and few between. There are so many more reasons to step
EOPLE SOMETIMES TELL me they think it brave of me to step into a foreign place with no friends and contacts, knowledge that isn’t from a website and just find my way around. And then I’m forced to admit that I don’t always feel brave at the time and on some of those days I find myself in the mirror, rallying for the departures. “I lived in Korea for a year. I can handle this foreign situation where I know no one. I will not get lost! The food will be great.” Easy peasy.
LEFT Photo by Tia Johnson BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson BOTTOM LEFT Photo by Tia Johnson
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A Love Letter For The One Who Falls Fast And Hard Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Sherry Zhu
Hey, you. First things first… keep your head up. There is nothing to be ashamed about. There are a few people on this Earth who occupy hearts that are bigger than their entire bodies. There are a few people on this Earth who have the ability to care for people who don’t even care for themselves. There are a few people on this Earth who deserve to have the love of a lifetime. That person is you. It’s me, too. We’re just alike, see? I fall for people really, really fucking quickly. You want to know the craziest thing about that is though? My feelings are seriously genuine--even in such a short period
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of time! I have some friends who think it is impossible for my feelings to be so genuine so quickly, but I know you can feel me on what I’m about to say. I look at it like this. I know what I want out of a relationship. I know what I can give in a relationship. Most importantly, I know I give every relationship I’m in my all. When I meet someone who says those same things, I trust them. Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it’s risky. But I don’t care. It doesn’t scare me from trying because I know when I find the real thing, it’ll all be worth it. It’s all good. I’m prepared for that. You feel me, right? Another way I bet we’re alike is although I fall fast and hard, I don’t waste my damn time. My
DAT I NG
time is precious and it’s borrowed. I’m not about to let anyone take advantage of what little time I am allowed here on Earth. Yes, many believe that the man finds the woman and that’s all fine and dandy, but I’ve got to be where he can find me, right? I want to spend the majority of that time drowning in the love of my babies and my husband and in order to do that, I’ve got to stumble upon my husband sooner than later. All that to say, even though I take the risk and fall fast and hard, when I see that it’s not working and/or not what I want... I end it. I don’t drag things out for the hell of it. I respect both his time and mine. It’s a rule of thumb for me. So, what’s fast? Fast will be a different time length for just about everyone--especially the people who think anything faster than 3 months or so is too fast.
You know what works for you and what hasn’t. You know how long it takes for you to develop feelings for someone. Listen to yourself. Trust your heart. It’s not always going to look like what other people have told you it would, but as long as you’re willing to take the risk, I think you should. If I can be honest, my heart has always told me when I’ve mistaken bad for good and like for love. I learn from the experiences and do my best not to make the same mistake twice. Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop me from getting back out there and I encourage you to adopt the same mindset. So might I propose a toast to the lover in you? To the fearless, hopeful, eager romantic that takes the risk every time it appears--may love be true to you, good for you, and never done with you.
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LIFESTYLE
RESOLUTIONS EVERY MILLENIAL SHOULD ACHIEVE THIS YEAR Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Carlos Dominguez
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LIFESTYLE
You want to know something that really sets me off every year at this time of year? I cannot stand the people who feel the need to discourage others from making New Year’s Resolutions. The idea that the start of a new year is the perfect time to set some new personal goals makes perfect sense to me. Most people who discourage the ‘new year, new me’ mantra argue that those same goals could have been set earlier in the year and that the new year doesn’t change anything but the date, however I disagree. The new year is a new start for any small or large goal you want to set for yourself and I encourage everyone to see it as such. The new year just brings about a fresh mindset and gives you that extra boost of motivation you can’t normally seem to muster up. It’s a humbling time when you should look back on the previous year and be able to think of at least one thing you want to do better in the upcoming year. Personally, I am constantly working to improve myself and I encourage anyone I consider a friend to do the same. We can all do better in 2018. Here are a few easy resolutions every millennial should achieve in the new year. To spend more time with loved ones
ABOVE Sandy dunes of the deadliest deserts of all the deserts
It’s important to spend time with your family on more than just the holidays if you have access to them. If you don’t, even a weekly phone call goes a long way! You’d be surprised at what maintaining a healthy relationship with your loved ones can do for your emotional and
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LIFESTYLE
5 SIMPLE WAYS TO RELAX IN 10 MINUTES Written by Isis Nezbeth
As much as most of us would like to relax by way of a massage and candlelight--not all the time does it work out that way. It’s 2018 and the era of the independent woman has been upon us for quite some time now. As a passionate entrepreneur, I include myself in this particular group of the ‘strong and independent’. It’s always been a part of my nature. It’s great to be an independent working woman. Many of us women have very little difficulty carrying out the expectations and responsibilities of such an independent woman. The difficult part is knowing when to take the ‘S’ off our chests and to succumb to a little me time. All work and no play isn’t good for anyone, but failing to take a moment to relax can be detrimental to your character and your spirit. I can’t stress enough the importance of taking a moment to be in the moment and relax. Although I’m referencing a working woman here, the need to relax is in all of us--female, male, working, or not. We’ve all had a bad day, had that godforsaken ex we can’t get off our brains, felt the pressures of adulthood, felt lonely, or just got to a point where we needed a damn break. If you can’t book a day at the spa (join the club) and try these 5 simple ways to relax yourself in just 10 minutes or less! Prayer and meditation Growing up my mom always told her
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thegoddesscolumn.com | JANUARY 2018
LIFESTYLE children, “If you’re going to pray, don’t worry. If you’re going to worry, don’t pray.” That has stuck with me since the very first time she said it to me. Honestly, it is convicting for me to worry about things I’ve asked God to take care of. It keeps me strong in my faith. Ultimately, there is nothing more settling and mindrelieving for me than giving my stress to God. If you’re not religious, meditation is just as soothing to the soul. Just having the opportunity to completely clear your mind of everything. Focusing on nothing but positive energy and the things you want most makes a world of difference in your spirit. The best part about this form of relaxation is that it can take place practically anywhere and it doesn’t take long to let go of whatever has you bound. A fresh cup of coffee I may be all alone on this one, but honestly, I’m okay with that. Having coffee is one of my favorite parts of the day. I usually combine it with thinking over my tasks and goals for the day. Still, there’s something about having the coffee that makes that time very calming, instead of allowing myself to be overwhelmed by what I’d like to accomplish. Once I’ve downed my (first) cup of coffee--and yes, I do so in under 10 minutes--I’m feeling motivated to get started on my day and possibly another cup! A kiss from the sun Who doesn’t love the joy of sunlight? You would be surprised at how much influence the sun can have on your attitude. If you need to relax, try stepping outside on a sunny day and just allowing
the sunlight to kiss your skin. Take a couple of deep breaths of the fresh air. If you’re able to, take a short walk. If you’re unable to go outside, you can still open the blinds and let the sun shine in on you that way! You can even combine all three of the relaxation methods we’ve discussed so far for ultimate relaxation! A solid quickie Yes, sex. Yes, in under ten minutes. Now, this will obviously need to be done in the comfort of your own home, but it is still an amazing way to relax and again, it can definitely get the job done in ten minutes. For some, it might take you and your partner longer than ten minutes to get there, but I’m sure you’ll be feeling very relaxed way before that initial 10 minutes is up. If you’re not seeing anyone currently, don’t shy away from masturbation. It’s normal and the relaxation comes from getting off and you don’t need a partner to get ‘er done! Your go-to feel good tunes Of course you knew I was going to say music! The melody of the soul. I know I’m not telling you anything new by saying that the healing powers of music are indescribable. If relaxation is the goal, music can surely do the trick. Queue up your favorite songs and let it take you away from anything that might be affecting your spirit in a negative manner. Don’t forget, listening to music can be paired with any of the relaxation methods I mentioned above! Let your hair down, Superwoman. Take a break... you earned it.
TOP LEFT Photo by Jens Lindner BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by Garett Mizunaka TOP RIGHT Photo by Guilherme Mizunaka
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one last thing.
Photo by Rosie Kerr
A final note of encouragement until we read again. There’s just one last thing before you
go. Please help me appreciate everyone who allowed this issue of the magazine to be successful, pat yourself on the back for being one of the most incredible supporters any dreamer could ask for, and a slight tip of the hat to me for keeping my dream alive. I can’t wait for all that is to come over the year, I just ask that you stick around to see it happen. We’ll end each issue with a small note of positivity until we meet each other back for the next issue. For the month of January, I leave you with a quote from Henry Ford that many
may be familiar with. It has impacted me since the day I heard the simple phrase, “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” For so long I talked about releasing this magazine, but I allowed myself to think about the things I didn’t know how to do or didn’t feel capable of doing and I held myself back. Finally something clicked and I believed in my dream just that much more to get up off my ass and learn how to get it done. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed presenting it to you. Please, connect with me online @GoddessColumn. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts. Until we read again...
Isis Nezbeth