ISIS NEZBETH editor-in-chief
TIA JOHNSON contributing writer
DELILAH ESCOBAR contributing writer
APRIL PATIO contributing writer
ELICIA JONES contributing writer
JESS WARNER contributing writer
BROOKE LARK photographer. page 3 (top)
MARK EDER
photographer. page 3 (right)
KRISTIN WEILERT photographer. page 3 (bottom)
DAN COOK photographer. page 4
EMMA MATTHEWS photographer. page 5
AUSTIN CHAN photographer, page 16-17
HEATHER SCHWARTZ photographer, page 27
SHARON MCCUTCHEON photographer, page 37
WILLIAN JUSTEN DE VASCONCELLOS photographer, page 50-51
A Letter From The EDITOR
. Week to time in john. Son elegance use weddings separate. Ask too matter formed county wicket oppose talent. Hello. beautiful ladies! This issue is so special to me. This issue is all about WOMANHOOD. It’s for us. This is an issue with the sole purpose to uplift, empower, and embrace every single woman who chooses to read it. It’s crazy because I’ve only done three magazines to date, but this one took the most effort. I faced so many challenges that almost knocked me off the path, but luckily with plenty of prayer and meditation,, I prevailed. I wanted the issue to be as perfect as I could make it. It was created for us, by us and it was important to me to make sure that it was fantabulous! It is my hope that this issue will move you in a way that you can’t help but to share with others. If this is the first issue you’ve purchased, THANK YOU. If you’ve been here before, THANK YOU. I’d like to send a very special to thank you to each and every talent that has made this magazine a success--models, photographers, and writers alike. Goddess Column Magazine would be nothing without you sharing your craft with me. With each issue we plan to get better and to continue to give you the absolute best magazine reading experience that we can offer.Whether you have opinions, concerns, or you just want to be a part of the production, contact me @GoddessColumn and let’s chat about it! I hope that you love this issue even more than the last one! Without further delay, I give you Goddess Column Magazine…
Z CLINE
photographer, page 57
All my love.
Isis Nezbeth 2
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
contents 06 20+ Things Every Grown Woman Should Know Some are really common while others aren’t so much!
12 20 Powerful Mantras To Begin Your Day With They say all it takes is one positive thought per day.
14 3 Self-Discoveries I’ve Made Since Marriage Time waits for no man (or woman). Are you ready for summer?
18 These Are The Friends Who Should Make Up Your Girl Squad
Let’s talk about the girls.
22 Advice From Ice Editor-in-chief, Isis Nezbeth, gives advice to a personal situation from a TGC Community Member.
25 The Myths Of Being A Young, Single Mother It’s not as bad as you think it is.
28 LAUREN TAYLOR, Founder of The Letter Defining passion and declaring purpose in our exclusive interview with Lauren Taylor!
34 The Next Generation: Women In Music All the women who independent, throw yo’ hands up at me!
38 8 Benefits to the Other Kind Of “Self” Love Yep... that kind.
41 Life-Altering Habits Of A Successful Woman These habits can transform your life almost instantly!
45 5 Reasons To Not Be So Lady-Like Rules were made to be broken.
48 5 Ways To #TreatYoSelf You deserve the best, girlfriend.
52 The Travel Guide For The Perfect Girls Trip Welcome to Georgia, Y’all!
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
3
LIFESTYLE
20+ THINGS EVERY GROWN WOMAN SHOULD KNOW Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Sharon McCutcheon
6 
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
LIFESTYLE RIGHT Photo by Tolu Bamwo
T
IME STANDS STILL for no man… or woman. If you’ve found yourself creeping up on the years where you’ve started to lie about your age, it’s okay girlfriend. You’re only as old as you feel. However, you should definitely know how to do the following things in this list. If you don’t know how to do some of it, it’s never too late to learn! If you’re welcoming the years where your relatives are starting to question when you’re going to “get serious” about life, this article is for you as well. Grab some pen and paper because you’re gonna want to remember this. Here are 20+ things every grown woman should know how to do. Let’s get into it! 1. HOW TO SPEND TIME ALONE Every woman should know how to spend quality time with herself. This is your “me-time.” Whether you enjoy it having an iced coffee on a blanket with your favorite book under the sun or in a bubble-filled bathtub over a glass of wine, you should absolutely know how to spend time alone.
2. HOW TO EAT ALONE You’d think this didn’t need to be mentioned, but I know several women who are creeped out by dining alone. Every woman should be able to take herself out for a decent meal and drink without having to stare down at a laptop or be on the phone in order to “not look awkward.” It’s all in your confidence, ladies. 3. YOUR DRINK OF CHOICE--AND WHICH YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM. Do you prefer whiskey or vodka? Do you like a glass of red or white? Water or juice? Coffee or tea? These are important choices and you shouldn’t have to think for ten minutes every time your waiter or waitress asks you what you’d like to have to drink. You should also be very aware of which drinks you need to stay away from. As much as I like a good tequila shot, it’s definitely not something I should be drinking often.
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
7
LIFESTYLE
20 P OWE R FUL M A NTR A S EVE RY WOMAN S HOULD BE GI N T H E DAY WITH Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Alexandra Gorn
LEFT Photo by Eye For Ebony RIGHT Photo by Toby Hoos
12 
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
LIFESTYLE
T
HEY SAY JUST one positive thought in the morning usually has a great affect on the way you view your entire day. So why not get yourself a whole list of powerful mantras you can start your day with! Here are a few I love, just to get you started!
1. I know what I want in life. 2. I know who I am. 3. I am proud to be the one and only me. 4. I am responsible for my own happiness. 5. I am in charge of my success. 6. I am enough. 7. My mind is gold. 8. I am stronger than any pain or doubt I have. 9. I am fiercer than my fears. 10. I am beautiful inside and out. 11. I am my own dream girl. 12. I have the power to make my dreams a reality. 13. I am allowed to make mistakes as long as I learn from them. 14. I can do anything I put my mind to--as long as I put my all into it. 15. Embrace your flaws because even the bad sh*t makes you, you. 16. Mental health is the main ingredient to my happiness. 17. If I can think of an excuse, I can think of a solution. 18. One failure does not dictate my overall success. 19. I will never dim my light for the pleasure of others. 20. All I have to do is begin.
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
 
13
LIFESTYLE
These Are The Friends That Should Make Up Your Girl Squad Written by Isis Nezbeth
18 
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
LIFESTYLE
T
HIS MONTH HAS been so challenging for me mentally and spiritually. It caused me to do that “thing” where I kind of hide under an invisible rock until someone digs me out. My girl squad is pretty used to handling my mental struggles and breakdowns, so luckily I didn’t stay there long. In a moment where I needed my friends the most, they were there for me and in turn inspired this article. A new friend of mine ministered to me during one of my sleepless nights with many words, but something that stuck out most was: “The friends in your life should not bring calamity and chaos.” -Lorin Payton It wasn’t something that I didn’t ‘know’ from experience, but it resonated with me so much in the moment in which she spoke it and it is a phrase that will literally stick with me for the rest of my life. There comes a time in every woman’s life where she has to evaluate those she calls ‘friend’. Ask yourself, in terms of the people you call your friends: Is it a term I’m gifting to those who aren’t really deserving or is it definitional of the people I consider my friends?
I can’t answer for you, but for me I’ve realized it’s both. There have been several experiences in my life that have shed light on who my true friends are. I did consider that I had met many of my friends in different stages of my life and no encounter was the same. Then I had to evaluate the impact the friendship had on my individual growth--because relationships are supposed to elevate us, aren’t they? That’s when I saw the difference between the two. It didn’t mean I didn’t love my not-sogreat friends, but it definitely helped me clarify what type of people and relationships I needed in my circle and which ones I would love from a distance. These are the friends that should make up your girl squad. Let’s get into it!
LEFT Photo by Nappy RIGHT Photo by Tom Pumford
THE FRIENDS YOU PRAY WITH. I feel we all have friends whose relationship with God is one we admire--at least I do. Our faith-filled friends aren’t all on the same level. There are those who are on the same level as you are. There are those who kind of wallow in between believing because they are taught to and believing because of actual experience. Then there are those who are truly God-fearing. Wherever you fall in that spectrum, keep feeding your faith. I think it’s important to recognize that you need spiritual friends of all
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
19
ADVICE
A DV ICE F ROM ICE:
My best f r iend and my boyf r i e n d h a t e e a c h o t h e r... Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Emma Tsui
22 
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
ADVICE
Hey Isis! I’ve been putting an issue off in my life for a while now because I didn’t really think it was a big deal. I kind of thought it would deal with itself over time, but that hasn’t happened. So, here’s the thing. My boyfriend can’t stand my best friend. I want to not care, but I really do. I feel like I’m in the place of having to choose between the two of them. My best friend and I have been best friends for 13 years and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now and the end is not in sight. We have a lot of mutual friends and we’re in the same places a lot. I need them both. I love them both. But I’m getting really frustrated with the awkwardness whenever we are all together. Help me! Signed, I Need My Bestie And My Bae
Hey girl, hey! Whoo, you’ve got your work cut out for you, don’t you? First of all, I commend you for keeping the peace between these two for so long! I think the first bit of advice I want to give you is that you don’t need to choose between the two of them--and if either one of them are giving you that ultimatum they are wrong for doing so. Both of them mean a lot to you and that should be enough for them to handle the fact that you want to remain a part of both relationships. I know it might seem like the time you’ve spent in each relationship should be a factor, but I don’t think time defines the strength of a relationship. It does play a role, but it shouldn’t be all that matters in any decision. I’ve watched people stay in toxic relationships for years only to move on later in life and ultimately realize their soulmate was someone they’ve been in a relationship with for a few years. Anyway, I think the first thing to do would be to have a conversation with them--together or separate depending on the maturity level we’re dealing with here--to see what the problem is between them. After you all have figured out what the issue is, I think finding a solution to suit everyone or just resolving the issue completely (which I’m hoping is the case) will be a lot easier than it seems to be right now. You shouldn’t have to make this decision alone when you’re a part of two relationships with people you trust and care about. Start with the conversation and if they love you like they say they do, they’ll make some decisions accordingly. If they don’t, you’ll see that too. All the best, girlfriend! XO. - Ice.
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
23
PARENTING
THE MYTHS OF BEING A YOUNG, SINGLE MOTHER... Written by Delilah Escobar, Photo by London Scott
A
S A YOUNG (and single) mother and a woman whose mother had her at 16, there is nothing quite as frustrating as when someone speaks negatively about “young motherhood,” as if they were handed an all-knowing book in which the conclusion entails she failed. Though that may be the story for some, it isn’t the story for all of us. Having a child at young age is not an end-all be-all towards failure. Sure, having kids may not be for everyone and you are entitled to feeling like having a toddler at 22 isn’t how you pictured your life, but that doesn’t give you free reign to constantly judge mine. So, here is some insight from a young mother about my wonderful life. MY CHILD IS NOT A MISTAKE, EVEN IF SHE WAS AN UNEXPECTED BLESSING You cannot expect someone not to get offended when you refer to their heart in human form as a mistake. The nerve. Even if my child was not planned, this is a task I was chosen to perform. I accepted motherhood and all that came with raising this child to be the best person she can possibly be. You don’t know who these children will be in the future--future presidents, doctors, musicians, philanthropists, etc. Regardless it’s a parent’s job to pave the way for them. It is not a job I take lightly, and my child will not be made to feel less than by anyone who thinks she was a mistake.
I’M A MOM, NOT A NUN. Contrary to popular belief, my life didn’t stop and I didn’t vow to pledge my life solely to raising a child and nothing else. I’m 24, I still like to have a drink or three at girl’s night, I’m still a sexual being, I will still travel the world, I still have desires, I still want to live for me; I’m still human. Being a mom is only a piece of who I am, not my entire being. I’m still a friend, girlfriend, sister, daughter (and whatever other parts we all play as women) and I’m allowed to play all these parts equally and still be an awesome mother. The only thing that changed are my priorities. Yes, my child is priority number one. So if she’s good and we didn’t have any plans together, sure, I can come out for a drink. Let me make sure she’s tucked in and the babysitter doesn’t need me for anything else. I may not indulge as frequently and it may require better planning from all parties involved, but it can still be done. BEING A YOUNG MOTHER WON’T KEEP ME FROM FOLLOWING MY DREAMS This is the most important, do not make a young mother feel like all her dreams have died because a child was born. That just isn’t true! What is the truth is that, it’s a little harder for us. We have to want it a little more than everyone else. We have to plan our time more efficiently than everyone else, but it is still possible. Especially for Photo by Wesley Quinn MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
25
F E AT U R E
Defining passion and declaring purpose with Founder of ‘The Letter’,
LAUREN TAYLOR Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Stephanie Erffmeyer
W
E’D LIKE TO introduce you all to someone very special to the Goddess Column brand. It was through her amazing YouTube channel that our Editor-in-chief, Isis Nezbeth, was motivated to educate herself on the resources necessary to produce this very magazine. Although we’ve never had the pleasure of gracing her presence in person, we shared one of the greatest interviews we’ve hosted since The Goddess Column began. We literally couldn’t have thought of a more beautiful spirit to feature on the cover of our Womanhood Issue. Meet Lauren Taylor, everyone. Lauren Taylor is a brand ambassador, a content creator, and Founder of The Letter publication. We asked her to explain exactly what The Letter was all about and she replied, “It’s all about encouraging women to live their best lives. That is the mission behind the book. I just want to inspire every young woman with big dreams.” As you all know, we feel it is our purpose in life to share the individuals in the world who chase their dreams and who motivate and encourage others to do the same. When asked what a typical day in the
28
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
life of Lauren Taylor was like she described this way. “Most of it is no makeup and sweatpants, on my computer or messing around with my dog. My boyfriend is my photographer so sometimes we have photoshoots. My team and I also spend a lot of time responding to snail mail from all around the world, where we personally respond to the letters we receive from our readers. I’m also in school so, yeah... I spend a lot of time on the computers,” she laughed. We also thought it would be fun to ask what was in her current playlist at the time of our interview and she said, “It goes from Cardi B, to Christian, to Beyonce. I’m a big 90s Rock, Rap, and Christian music lover. I’m also obsessed with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” and “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman.” We asked Lauren Taylor about her background and she let us all the way in! “I grew up in a small town in Virginia. I knew my mailman. I went to a private Christian school. My parents were military. I went to college for a semester and found that I wasn’t ready at all, so I took a 9-5 at Abercrombie and Fitch and it really taught me a lot about people. I was also in a 5-year relationship. It’s crazy; I just woke up one day feeling like, ‘what the heck am I doing and what is going on?’ I was stuck
MUSIC
TH E N E XT GE NE RATION:
WOMEN IN MUSIC Written by Delilah Escobar
I
N HONOR OF Women’s History Month, I want to recognize the amazing women in music today. From empowerment to self-love , to just plain old having a song to turn up to, these women are promoting messages that are imperial to the millennial woman.
KEHLANI In my opinion, Kehlani is a modern day Aaliyah. From her R&B Vibes, to her calculated moves, down to her unique beauty. She is an artist to be admired. Kehlani is raw with her fans. She expresses all her battles through depression, her experience being a bi-sexual woman, and has no fears in making music about every aspect of her life. Songs like “Tore Up” and “You should Be Here” can be considered anthems for those experiencing heartbreak or unrequited love, and then she switches it up to “Honey” a song about a woman she was in a relationship with supported by a video where she starred an androgynous woman admiring all the tender aspects of beautiful women in both projects. She has songs of self-love such as “Alive” and “Bright” (I’m a very big fan of her earlier mixtapes). She is a well rounded artists and presents herself completely and without barriers in all her music. Kehlani is an activist for battered women where she spent a part of 2017 purely dedicated to traveling along the west coast to provide supplies and help at shelters for these women and their children, along with her own project for “health and wellness” called Flora, a project geared towards the accessibility of holistic green and healthy living. At 22, coming from a background of homelessness, abandonment, and the loss of her father, Kehlani prevailed amidst being raised by her aunt and grandparents along with being given her “big break” by Nick Cannon. She is a woman on a mission and we can’t wait to see what’s next.
34
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
MUSIC
RIHANNA Do I really need to touch base on every hit Rihanna has made? She’s basically been all we hear on the radio since some of were in middle school. Rihanna is The Boss Bitch, in all aspects. From music, to make-up, movies, and humanitarianism-Rihanna has to be one of the most well-rounded artists I have witnessed in my time. At a fresh 30, The list of charitable foundations that Rihanna is involved in are massive. A reoccurring theme in a lot of her charity is education, including her own The Clara Lionel Foundation. Musically speaking, Rihanna embraces the sexuality and beautiful untamed nature that is inside all women. A whole album will have you feeling like you are too good for that nobody that broke your heart, too much for the next one to come, and ready to celebrate life as a liberated woman. Rihanna embodies the strength that is instilled in all of us.
CARDI B Let’s be honest, WE LOVE TO SEE THE UNDERDOG WIN! Cardi B is that and so much more. She started out as a dancer in New York being funny on Instagram -- to being the first woman to have her first three entries on the Billboard’s Hot R&B and HipHop top 10 SIMUTANEOUSLY. Cardi B is an inspiration to all the women who want to make it in this industry. She is living proof that the dream is possible and has remained humble though it all. Cardi B is my go-to when I need to turn up with songs like Bartier Cardi and Bodak Yellow, not to mention hit features like the one on Migos Motor Sport, any song she’s on is bound to be an instant club banger. As a latina, it’s nice to have a female rapper I can relate too, especially as much as I love hip hop, especially when she crosses over to reggaeton and bachata, shes representing for all the cultures with authenticity. That’s why she is on this list, because for our women creators, seeing someone’s journey from beginning to end is a motivation. And c’mon Cardi makes it look so fun! Although I am a huge Nicki fan, it’s nice to see someone challenge the throne after so long. It’s been a while since we’ve seen any other female rapper even get close.
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
35
SEX
8 BENEFITS TO THE
OTHER
KIND OF “SELF” LOVE Written by Isis Nezbeth
You don’t need a man to get a little pleasure in your life, ladies. You can do it yourself. Yes, I know. It’s feels a little awkward to admit it, but it’s okay. It’s very important to recognize that you’re not the only woman who masturbates and you’re not the only woman who feels “weird” about it either. Yes, collectively, we all feel differently about masturbating--some are all for it, while others would never talk about it and there might even be a few women out there that have never done it. The point I’m making here is that we have all at least thought about doing it. Would you believe me if I told you there were plenty of benefits to the other kind of self-love? Let’s get into it! IT RELEASES TENSION AND STRESS.
38
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
You’ve seen the character in movies that is completely uptight and pretty much a pain to be around because they’re sexually frustrated. If you’re not wanting to deal with having sex with a partner, don’t harbor all that stress. Take some time to please yourself. We learned a long time ago that sexual release is a great stress reliever. There is also a lot that goes into the intimacy of masturbation. The alone time you spend with yourself will also cause you to relieve some stress. IT MAKES YOU HAPPIER. Orgasms release the endorphins dopamin and oxytocin which are pretty much ‘happy drugs’ your body produces that can give you a natural high. There’s a
SEX
reason you always feel good after a really great sexual encounter. You can get that same satisfaction by yourself, sis.
made responsible to do the same!
IT’S A GREAT REPLACEMENT FOR SLEEPING AIDS.
I’m always making a conscious effort to show you that being a sexual being is perfectly healthy. I don’t think there is ever a time or an act that you can’t please or pamper yourself and I don’t see this as being any different. There are a number of ways to actually accomplish the main goal of the business, but again you are the one who is completely in control.
I’m not going to go into detail here, as an adult, I believe we all should know that “a good release makes for great night’s sleep.” IT ALLOWS YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR OWN BODY AND SEXUAL DESIRES.
IT’S AN EXCELLENT FORM OF RELAXATION.
YOU GET TO CHOOSE THE MUSIC. It’s true. Knowing how to handle business by yourself and to do it well--well, that says a lot. It means you are consciously learning your sexual being and the curves of your own body. Masturbation also has the potential to make you feel a lot more comfortable about your body. The more you learn your body and personally explore your sexual desires, the more likely you are to be able to direct the next person
Pick the place. Choose the guy. Explore the fantasy. Set the atmosphere. You have free range to get as into it as you want to. You create the experience that you want to have with this. Also, take a trip to the adult novelty store, so you can upgrade from twiddling your fingers. There’s more than enough fun things to try. You won’t regret it.. until your batteries run out.
BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by Emily Goodhart
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
39
LIFESTYLE
TOP LEFT Photo by Tolu Bamwo BOTTOM LEFT Photo by CreatedbyJarrod
SHE KNOWS HOW TO ENJOY HERSELF. A successful woman is no stranger to celebrating herself and her success. She works very hard, but she also knows how and when to let her hair down and enjoy life as well. All work and no play isn’t healthy for anyone. Never forget to give yourself a pat on the back or a glass of wine when you’ve earned it or need it. SHE IS HAPPY. She lights up an entire room with her smile and her aura. A successful woman is fulfilled. She is charged daily by her passion and she loves working in her purpose. This alone gives her a glow that others can’t help but to see and love.
44
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
LIFESTYLE
5 Reasons To NOT Be So Lady Like Written by Jess Warner
W
HEN I WAS 17 years old a teacher told me women like me would never get married. I didn’t need to ask him what he meant, I knew what he was referring to. I didn’t sit and listen quietly. I wasn’t polite to people I didn’t like. I didn’t put effort into my appearance. And I sure as hell didn’t keep my opinions to myself. The bottom line was, I wasn’t very lady-like. Which was probably why my response was an unambiguous “fuck you.” By definition, a lady is: “a well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behaviour”. Being “proper” and “well-mannered” often means being reserved, not asking too many questions, following orders, and not speaking too loudly. That means no arguing, wearing scandalous clothing, and absolutely no cursing or use of foul language. Shit, right? The fact is, I enjoy not acting like a lady. I enjoy being confident and outspoken. I enjoy women who are strong and challenge the stereotype of what a “lady” is supposed to do and say. It’s women that aren’t afraid to speak that will change the world. So maybe it’s not the ladies who are wrong. Maybe it’s the definition. As a twenty-something year old woman with the world in front of me, there are a handful of reasons why I will never be lady-like. 1. I LIKE BEING OUTSPOKEN If I don’t agree with you, I’m going to say something. Why? Because I can. There’s nothing more painful than listening to someone talk about why gun control isn’t important and not being able to say anything. So, I’m going to say something. We don’t have to agree. We’re allowed to have differing points of view, but I refuse to be the woman who pretends to agree with you simply because voicing my opinion isn’t lady-like. 2. NOT EVERYONE DESERVES POLITENESS Believe it or not, not everyone deserves to experience my polite side. If you’re being a dick, I’m not going to use my manners when I tell you you’re being a dick. While a “lady” might ignore your terrible attitude, I’m not taking any of your shit. It’s really that simple.
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
45
PULL UP A CHAIR, GIRLFRIEND.
YOU CAN ALWAYS SIT WITH US.
BEAUTY
3 FLAWLESS DATE NIGHT LOOKS TO BLEND WITH YOUR PERSONALITY Written by April Patio, Photos by April Patio
H
AVE YOU EVER gone out for a date night or a girl’s night out and felt like your makeup was telling a completely different story than you intended it to? Well, Makeup Artist, April Patio, collaborated with Goddess Column magazine to bring you the solution with this amazing piece on date night makeup looks! Let’s get into it!
60
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
“I created three different date night looks for three separate occasions or, you could say, three different personalities. As women, we all have different views on what makes us feel beautiful. I hope one of the looks, if not all, catches your eye and sparks some inspiration for your next date night experience!”
BEAUTY
THE NATURAL PERSONALITY & CHILL DATE NIGHT LOOK “This is by far my favorite look! There is something about neutral makeup that I believe makes a woman so beautiful. Wear a look like this when you and your significant other are just going to the movies and maybe ordering some take out later. You can consider this an everyday look, too, if you don’t have time to do a full-face beat in the morning before you start your day.”
FACE: Lancome’s Teint Idole Foundation, MAC’s Pro Longwear Concealer, MAC’s Mineralize Skinfinish in Medium Golden, Anastasia Beverly Hill’s Amrezy Highlighter BROWS: Anastasia Beverly Hill’s Dipbrow Pomade EYES: MAC’s Wedge (lid) & MAC’s Soft Brown (crease) LIPS: MAC’s Stripdown lip liner & Peachstock lipstick LASHES: Salon Perfect’s #615)
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
61
R E L AT IONS H I P S
THIS IS WHAT CHANGES WHEN YOU’RE FINALLY IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Sidney Pearce
64
thegoddesscolumn.com | MARCH 2018
R E L AT IONS H I P S
T
HE ‘RIGHT’ RELATIONSHIP. What does that really mean? Maybe it’s your “happily ever after” or maybe it’s a relationship that won’t last forever, but that will transform and develop you while it lasts. Either way, it’s still healthy for you. Being in a relationship feels good, but being in the right relationship feels great. As someone who strongly believes in finding the real thing, it’s made me out to be a real risk taker when it comes to love. Obviously taking risks comes with major consequences. So, as a result, I’ve been in some really, really shitty relationships. Still, I don’t lose hope and I always try again. There are many people who say you “just know” when you’re in the right relationship, and while there’s some truth in that, I think there are ways to describe what changes as well. There are major differences between being in any old relationship and being in the right relationship. As usual, I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in feeling like these are the things that change when you’re finally in the right relationship. Let’s get into it! YOU BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT. I will admit it. In all of my previous relationships, I’ve been pretty needy. I didn’t see it at the time, but now that I’m thinking back on things, I was. I wanted to include my partner in every little thing that I did. I wanted to talk to them all the time. I wanted to go out when they went out. I was very ‘motherly’. Always concerned with their well-being when they weren’t with me like they weren’t completely capable of doing things without me. In my current relationship, I enjoy our time together, obviously, but I’m also completely comfortable with spending time apart from him. I’m not sure if there’s just a stronger level of trust that lies between us or what it might be. All I know is I’m 100% comfortable with still being myself even though I’m in a relationship. I’m confident in his ability to take care of himself when I’m not around. The best part is, he’s comfortable with that too. YOU WANT TO BE THE ABSOLUTE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.
you to be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be--and not just for your partner, either. This feeling comes from within. Yes, you have a desire to be a wonderful partner for the person you’ve fallen in love with, but ultimately, this desire is a desire of your own heart. It’s almost like you want to love yourself as unconditionally as your partner has been doing because sometimes we forget to love ourselves bet. You’ll find yourself making small life changes and really working towards becoming your best self. The people around you will see it, too. It’s lit. YOU FIND JOY. A simple Google search defines joy as “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.” It seems simple enough, doesn’t it? One of the most obvious changes that take place in any relationship should be that you’re visibly happy. I will acknowledge that no one should be your source of happiness outside of yourself (and possibly your child), but your relationship should bring out the joy in you. Tough days shouldn’t seem so bad and good days should feel amazing. I’m not saying that even in the right relationship there won’t be problems--because there obviously will be. However, if your current relationship doesn’t give you the feeling previously described, it’s probably safe to say you’re not in the right relationship. YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH. You already knew that you were valuable. You might even have amazing self-esteem. Again, when you’re being loved the right way it causes you to see yourself in a different light. For me, it really helped clarify and elevate my worth. I know what I want from a life partner and now that I truly feel like I’m getting that, I won’t expect anything less from this point forward. Yes, things could end up not working out between us, but I know that I won’t dim my light for the next encounter either. My current partner loves my glow. He fuels my glow. Why would I give that up ever again now that I can finally see it? YOU DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.
When you’re receiving the kind of love you’ve been longing for, it has the power to transform the way you see yourself. Being in the right relationship motivates
Because of the glow and the peace and the happiness and all the other little things that have your world
MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com
65