From a Novice
Quotes
Some of my favorite quotes I’ve come across recently in my reading, enjoy!
To love is the intention and action to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s capacity to be more fully self-actualized and able to engage in communion with the world around us (a.k.a. spiritual growth).
- M. Scott Peck, Bell Hooks & me (Dana Michele)
When we feel deeply drawn to someone, we cathect with them; that is, we invest feeling or emotion in them. That process of investment wherein a loved one becomes important to us is called cathexis. In his book Peck rightly emphasizes that most of us "confuse cathecting with loving".
- Bell Hooks "All About Love"
[M]any of us are more comfortable with the notion that love can mean anything to anybody precisely because when we define it with precision and clarity it brings us face to face with our lacks...
- Bell Hooks "All About Love"
“Where the will to power is paramount love will be lacking”.
- Carl Jung (read in ‘All About Love’)
"Greed has a way of severing our cords of compassion".
- Richard Foster (read in ‘All About Love’)
In those parts, where people lived simply; it was easy to run ones’ finger along the cheek of the divine, and the divine came from a daily commerce with clouds and stones and the glorious, dripping dawns that shot salvos of translucent beams towards earth.
- Muriel Barbery “The Life of Elves”
“Do you know the secret of a good story?... Lyricism and nonchalance with the truth. However, one must not trifle with the heart.”
- Muriel Barbery “The Life of Elves”
Meditations
I sit every morning – I don’t call it medita ng, its more aligned with the shamanic prac ce of journeying. When I sit, I visit my companions, my guides and teachers, and I o en leave these visits with some lesson or new understanding. I will occasionally share some of these take-aways here.
The relationship between nurture & nourishment: Nourishment is more than simply eating for nutritional value it feeds the soul (e.g. warm soup on a hot day). To nurture is to help identify what is needed and how, including when is best, to receive nourishment.
What am I?
“So much more than you know. So much more than this lifetime. Everything is true. It is important that you don’t get stuck on a storyline and over-value what has little value. Choose and grow, continue and know that you are so much more than whatever story you are attached to right now.”
Fig. 1: Better to lose in truth than to gain in falsehood
An Essay on Love
A short reflection after reading ‘All About Love’ by Bell Hooks
There are two sides to ‘love’, I would even go as far to say that they are two different things using the same word which are often used interchangeably and therefore (more than) sometimes result in confusion, hurt, pain, frustration. One is a feeling, the other a way of interacting. One is selective, the other inclusive. By defining and differentiating we have the opportunity to identify, learn, and practice the verb and offer the world and ourselves it gifts.
Love, the amazing feeling that it is, is rather commonplace. We could allow ourselves to fall in love with almost anyone. But, as you well know, this is not the case because we are rather selective when it comes to who we assign this feeling to. We filter opportunities for love by qualifications: tall, funny, brown hair, likes to swim – if you can name it, it can be a caveat.
Love, the act, is something altogether different. And in our world today with values focused on consumption it is not so commonplace. We have dis-membered ourselves from this particular combination of knowledge, skills, and abilities – that once re-membered we would find are not at all selective, and in fact are inclusive.
The combination of these – love, the feeling (noun), together with love, the act (verb) reciprocated between two or more people is the ultimate trifecta (which is sadly quite rare but needn’t be). Where the former without the latter is fleeting, together they last through every change of course and alteration for growth. This is, I believe, a strong argument for each of us to learn how to love.
What does it mean to love? According to M. Scott Peck (as shared by Bell Hooks in ‘All About Love’): love (the verb) is “the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s’ spiritual growth.’ Hooks points out many people’s aversion to use of the word ‘spiritual’ and offers instead “… ‘life force’… that when nurtured enhances our capacity to be more fully self-actualized and able to engage in communion with the world around us.” Peck,
according to Hooks, adds to this that ‘will’ involves both intention & & action. Therefore, combining these:
To love is the intention and action to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s capacity to be more fully selfactualized and able to engage in communion with the world around us (a.k.a. spiritual growth).
How does one nurture the capacity to be more fully self-actualized and able to engage in communion with the world around us? It starts with Truth, yes with a capital ‘T’. As Bell Hooks so clearly stated “To know love we have to tell the truth to ourselves and others”. To be more self-actualized necessitates truth. If we can’t be truthful, by knowing and openly communicating, living, and accepting our own truths and the truth of others, how can we possibly expect to know ourselves let alone nurture others? As Dr. Martha Beck points out, “Departing from your truth in any way, no matter how small, splits you into two people. This is duplicity, which is the enemy of joy.” I would add that joy is the result of loving oneself.
I did say “It starts with Truth”, there is much more involved in nurturing the growth of this capacity and this ability. I once wrote down, from a Psychology Today article, seven qualities in a healthy relationship and made some additions based on my lived experience. I believe the qualities on this list apply here. I no longer have the original list or can find the original article, but this is my list (which, fun fact, sits on my alter): Empathy, Compassion, Growth, Curiosity, Mutuality, Reciprocity, Respect, Independence, and Trust (easy to see why, when fully realized, love does not align with the values of, and/or related to, consumption).
We have likely all been told, at one point or another, the adage “In order to love someone else you must love yourself first”, or something of the sort. And I’m guessing if you responded in any way like me, you were nodding your head saying, “I know, I know” but were inwardly yelling “Argh! What the heck is that supposed to mean? Love myself, I mean I do, most days (shrug).” - thinking of love solely in terms of the feeling or at the most some vague set of behaviors.
After reading Bell Hooks’ ‘All About Love’ and coming across, and becoming mildly obsessed with this definition it was made as clear as day something I had been confounding for awhile:
Anyone can feel love, but it takes the continued effort of practicing the act of love in order have and build the skills to love. And what better practice than on the present and hopefully willing recipient of oneself! Just like any other skill one must practice and be comfortable with it in order to offer it to others (besides there’s the added bonus of becoming more fully self-actualized and able to engage in communion with the world around us in the process).
Learning how to love oneself takes continued effort, a willingness to make mistakes and keep trying. There are many difficult moments that require examining faces and places that are hard to confront- demons we have long ago placed in boxes and tucked away in a corner somewhere. How lucky are those who can afford to have and have found a therapist skilled at walking someone through this journey. But oh, what a world it could be if each of us took the time to build comfort in the practice of this skill so that we could offer it to each other!
So, love, the feeling, will remain discerning while love, the verb, once learned, becomes a part of how one moves through the world and therefore indiscriminate. This skill– this ability to love - with its Truth, and its Empathy, and its Compassion, and its Growth, and its Curiosity, and its Mutuality, and Reciprocity, and Respect, and Independence, and Trust has the power to make magic. By learning how to love we will change the world and while we’re at it we will also be able to turn what is fleeting into that which endures.
https://bellhooksbooks.com/product/all-about-love/
Tarot Reading
I recently have taken up tarot and have fallen in LOVE with what it offers in regard to self-reflec on and inves ga on. So, I figured that when I have a li le extra space, I’ll include a reading. So, here goes! (I did a four card know/ show/grow spread with a theme card)
Q: What would you have us know for our best and highest selves?
This reading is concerned with our interactions with the world around us, being that the story cards are all Court cards. With ‘The Tethered One’ in the theme position we are being called to look for a place where our relationship with the world around us feels liminal, undefined, and/or in transition. The reading is speaking to that place.
The King of Wands, being in the know position is inviting us to center in that part of ourselves that knows that we do not have to act on every impulse. That we have the self-possession and poise to hold our position, to continue to monitor and surveil, and to trust that when the moment comes to act we will know it and we will also know just what that action should be, without a doubt.
The Queen of Pentacles in the show position is inviting us to, instead of reacting to the circumstances, tend to ourselves (and others if you feel so called – trusting your intuition). This is an opportunity to prepare a meal, set the table, and be nourished.
Finally, with the Queen of Swords in the grow position, we are being invited to practice, and in doing so internalize and learn, how keen ALL of our senses are in understanding our surroundings, and how valuable it is to be attuned to every one of them. Our senses work often in concert as they speak to each other of the different nuances they each are uniquely designed to receive. This ability is especially valuable now as we inhabit this liminal space.
Welcome! This is the first issue of ‘From a Novice’ musings from my sittings, readings, and meditations. I decided to put this zine together because, well, I always had wanted to put a zine together and as I was writing the essay included in this issue I thought – well, why not now?!? And then it all sort of came together in my mind of what and how it can be. It will likely change over time as other ideas come and some ideas go. But here we are.
A little bit about me
My name is Dana Michele. I am a Shamanic Practitioner, a Tarot reader, and am in constant search for more ways to study how to be an assistant and guide for others in ‘finding and listening to your inner teacher’. My teachers include my Spirit Guides and Companions, Nancy MacPhee & Katheleen Duggan (core shamanism lineage of Sandra Ingerman); Lindsay Mack of Tarot for the Wild Soul; and The Center for Courage and Renewal; and my amazing therapist who has held the mirror for me more times than I can count. Not to mention the numerous books, articles, podcasts, etc. that I have engaged with to deepen my understanding.
I live in Ithaca NY, I have two cats (Doris & Annette), I love being outside – there is one particular hike I can’t get enough of and is what I call my ‘soul place’. Some might call me spiritual; I call it life. I do my best to live a life aligned with my values. I love to roller skate and I go to a fantastic lil’ rink with a wooden floor and a great D.J. mixing some really quirky tunes almost every week to ‘get my skate on’. This past year I picked up my viola after years away and love it, in great thanks to a really good teacher. Otherwise, I sit, I read, I take walks and sometimes get creatively inspired to try something out and see where it goes.
The theme of every publication will be whatever has come up since the last issue including, but not limited to, quotes from readings, meditations from my sittings, essays, lil’ drawings or other such images, poems, a tarot reading – all collected and/or written by me (words and/or images not written or created by me are/will be cited or otherwise noted). You can call it naval gazing and I guess in some way it is, but I’ll call it sharing what I think are juicy bits I’ve encountered and want to share, with you!
Yours Gratefully, Dana
Want to share your feedback (or join the monthly journeying circle in Ithaca, NY)? email fromanovice@gmail.com © 2024