MyTestimony
ByAnnaNash
MyentirelifegrowingupIwasconstantlyriddledwithanxietyandothermentalhealth issues.Fromtheageofeight,Iexperienceddepressionforthefirsttime,alongwiththecrippling anxietyIexperiencedgrowingup.IgrewupinaveryChristianhousehold,alwaysbelievingthat IknewGod.IwasbaptizedwhenIwasfive,yetIwouldn’tconfidentlysaythatIeverKNEW GoduntilIwasabout14.KnowingofGodandtrulyknowingGodaretwoverydifferentthings, yettheycanbecommonlyconfused.ThestartofhighschoolwaswhenIreallystartedtolearn whoGodreallywas.Freshmanyearisascaryyearfullofnewpeople,experiences,andsomany unwarrantedthingsthatnoonewarnsyouabout.FreshmanyearwasalsothefirstyearIhad withoutmysisteraftershemovedtoVirginiatopursueherinterestinanursingdegree.Iusedto alwaysgotoyouthgroupwithher,ridingwithherthere,sittingwithherandherfriends,only reallyeverhangingoutwithherduringit.Ifinallywilledmyselftogobymyselfaftermy parentsencouragedmeto.Itwasabsolutelyterrifyingatfirst,andtothosewhodon’tknowme well,Iamaveryshypersonatfirst.Asmentionedbefore,Istruggledwithreallybadanxiety, whichincludedsocialanxiety Iwentintothechurchonthevergeoftears,knowingabsolutely nooneandterrifiedofhavingtospeaktoanyonenew Isatdownbymyself,yetnotforlong becauseIwasquicklyaccompaniedbyRahelVanDerReit.Sheencouragedmetocometothe stagewithherforpraiseandworship.Assongsblastedintomyearsandlightsshoneallaround me,IfelttheHolySpiritentermeforthefirsttime,oratleastthefirsttimeIrecognizedit.From thatmomenton,IbegantogrowahungerforGod’sWord,wantingtolearnmoreaboutHim. Godblessedmewithahealingthatisbeyondanythingtheworldcouldeverprovide.Ihavesince thenbeenhealedwithanindescribableamountofpeaceandjoybeyondunderstanding.Although
Iamnotheretosaythatfromthatmomenton,thingswereabsolutelyperfect,becausethey aren’t.Theworldstillhappens,andtherearestillseasonsofmylifewhereIgrowdistantfrom God,orIgetanxiousfromtimetotime.YetIfindthosemomentsarethemostimportanttimes inmylife.IbelievethisbecauseIknowthatinthosemomentsofstruggleordoubt,themost importantthingwecandoisfallbackonGodandleannotonourownunderstanding,butHis. ForHisplanisfargreaterthananythingwecouldeverimagine,andwemustfindpeacein knowingthesethings.