STREETZine
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
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Holiday Blues By Wendy Rojo This is the time when we start anticipating the new year and try to make the most of what is left of 2023. Everyone has different feelings about the holidays or the conclusion of the year. For some, this time can bring anxiety or an overwhelming emotion. As a society, we set expectations for what the holidays should look like or how a person should feel during them. There is also a societal emphasis on consumerism. However, a person’s experience during this season is uniquely their own. Not everyone may want to spend the holidays with their family, or they may not buy gifts. The National Alliance on Mental Illness reports that 64% of people living with a mental illness feel their condition worsen around this period. Regardless of whether a person chooses to celebrate the holidays or not, it is important to acknowledge that this time of year can be tough for some. According to an American Psychological Association survey, 38% of people said their stress increased during the holiday time. The rise is attributed to lack of time, financial pressure, gift-giving, and family gatherings. The National Alliance on Mental Illness reports that 64% of people living with a mental illness feel their condition worsen around this period. The obligations that come with the holidays can be a stressor for anyone, not just for those who have an existing mental illness. However, learning to cope with the overwhelmingness that comes with the holidays is a useful skill for everyone to have. The Mass General Brigham suggests that if a person is dealing with the blues, they can attempt to surround themselves with people who feel similarly and create new traditions. They also suggest prioritizing the most important activities and scheduling get-togethers after the holidays. Prioritize yourself and take
Art by Stewpot Artist Teresa Zacarias. care of your mental health during these hectic times, even if that is easier said than done. Luckily, there are organizations that provide extra help during this season. For example, the Salvation Army does its “adopt an angel” event where you can help provide gifts for a person(s) in need. Catholic Charities has a Christmas program where you can make a monetary donation and their volunteers will shop for the items people have specifically requested. Food pantries around Dallas also provide meals or groceries to those in need. For example, The Stewpot provides groceries to families in need twice a month. Additionally, anyone in Texas can dial 211 and request information about community and social services. This season should be about reflecting on the year you have just completed — the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Regardless of whether you love the holidays or dislike them, it is crucial to not put yourself under so much pressure. This season should be about reflecting on the year you have just completed — the good, the bad, and the ugly. These moments and the people we get to share them with are what the holidays should be about. If we focus on spending quality time together, we can all combat the holiday blues. Wendy Rojo is managing editor of STREETZine.
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STREETZine
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
STREETZine
STREETZine is a program of The Stewpot.
The STREETZine is a monthly newspaper published by The Stewpot, a ministry of the First Presbyterian Church of Dallas. The Stewpot provides services and resources for people experiencing homelessness or who are at risk of being homeless. The organization also offers opportunities for a new life. As part of this ministry, the STREETZine seeks to raise awareness about the issues surrounding homelessness and poverty. The monthly publication also offers financial opportunity for Stewpot clients who sell the paper to Dallas residents. Vendors are able to move towards economic self-sufficiency by using the money they receive from selling copies to purchase bus passes, food, and necessary living expenses. Clients also receive stipends for contributing articles to STREETZine. The content in STREETZine does not necessarily reflect the views or endorsement of its publisher, editors, contributors, sponsors or advertisers. To learn more about this publication, contact Betty Heckman, Director of Enrichment, 1835 Young Street, Dallas, Texas 75201 or BettyH@thestewpot. org. To read more about STREETZine, a member of the International Network of Street Papers, go to www. thestewpot.org/streetzine. Managing Editor: Wendy Rojo Editorial Advisory Board: The Rev. Amos Disasa Brenda Snitzer Suzanne Erickson Russell Coleman Poppy Sundeen Sarah Disasa William McKenzie Betty Heckman Dee Leone Photo Editor: Jesse Hornbuckle
Pastor’s Letter: The Fragrance of Love By Reverend Meagan Findeiss Editor’s Note: This column is excerpted from a sermon that Rev. Findeiss preached on April 7, 2019, at South minster Presbyterian Church in Indianapolis, Indiana. When you smell something, the hippocampus and the amygdala are triggered. These two regions of the brain are key for learning and memory, which is why smell is so successful at bringing forth such vivid memories and emotions. Touch and sound do not elicit the same sort of response. A 2015 Psychology Today article suggests that memories triggered by an odor (like the scent of a rose) are accompanied by greater activity in the brain than memories triggered by images or verbal labels of that odor. Smell is a powerful thing. It can transcend time by placing you back in a particular memory. Mary’s extravagant gift In the gospel of John, Mary, a follower of Jesus, lavishes perfume upon Jesus. She takes what could easily be her most costly possession and pours it out onto Jesus’ feet! If we stop for a moment and think about what the house must have smelled like after an entire bottle of perfume was poured out, the fragrance must have been overwhelming. In fact, the passage reads, “the house was filled with the fragrance.” Personally, I get a headache if I put on more than three squirts of perfume. An entire bottle must have been pungent. If we stop for a moment and think about what the house must have smelled like after an entire bottle of perfume was poured out, the fragrance must have been overwhelming. Visualizing the perfume scene, Mary is on the floor, Martha (Mary’s sister) has plates in her hand, and Lazarus (Mary and Martha’s brother, and one who Jesus just a chapter before raised from the dead) has his feet up and is next to Jesus. Mary, in addition to all those present in the home, must have been feeling a myriad of emotions; thankfulness for saving Lazarus’ life
was surely one emotion in Mary’s mind as she anointed Jesus’ feet. Frances Gench writes in Encounters with Jesus about the proximity of the anointing to the raising of Lazarus as a suggestion that Mary’s gesture “is one of boundless gratitude for bringing her brother back to life…her act of devotion is clearly extravagant, underlined by its quantity (a full pound), its cost, and pointed reference to the fact that its fragrance suffused the entire house…A fragrant smell and grateful love now fill a house that had once been filled with mourning and the smell of death’s decay.” This potent smell that has overcome this home is a smell of life and love. Another scholar, Gail O’Day, wrote in Women’s Bible Commentary that, “The odor of death has been replaced by the odor emanating from Mary’s extravagant love.” A Parfum D’Amour, A Fragrance of Love if you will. This potent smell that has overcome this home is a smell of life and love. Mary intentionally and eloquently gives her most costly possession out of gratitude and love for her friend and teacher. She smashes cultural norms by touching Jesus delicately with her hands. She uses her hair to caress his feet and absorb the remaining perfume. Even today this gesture would have made her a social pariah and would assuredly have received glaring looks, with pointing and deafening whispers. But that does not matter for Mary. She ministers to Jesus and does so in an ornate and transformative way. Judas, one of Jesus’ disciples, watched this memorable scene unfold. He made it known that Mary’s actions were inappropriate and calls her out by claiming her behavior as a crime of neglect to those in need. Extravagant love and caring for others Judas curiously frames Mary’s actions by creating a dichotomy between extravagant love and service. I imagine Judas’ mindset being, “Mary cannot do both, it is an either/or. Mary doesn’t understand what Jesus has been teaching!
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DECEMBER EDITION 2023
Executive Director’s Report By Brenda Snitzer Editor’s Note: STREETZine posed these questions to Stewpot Executive Director Brenda Snitzer as part of this edition’s look back at 2023. At the beginning of 2023, you wrote in the STREETZine about these goals: growing people, processes, and programs; continuing to provide resources for these areas; and creating a culture of excellence for clients and staff and volunteers. Looking back over this year, how would you assess these areas? I believe we did really well in growing people and programs. We still have a way to go in growing processes, but we are on the way. In terms of growing people, we continued to develop trainings for our various departments to take part in. The staff went through de-escalation training to help work with a person who is upset. We also did safety trainings, conflict resolution, and many, many hours on case manager and housing practices. Some staff went through specialized trainings, including financial or fundraising seminars. Our staff also regularly meets with their supervisors to touch base on their work and to plan ahead. Those meetings happen weekly and monthly, and we also do quarterly reviews to talk about our goals in-depth. These meetings are always about how we can work together to best create a culture of excellence for clients, staff, and volunteers. Excellence means always looking at how we can do things better. We still need to work on finding time to grow our processes and systems of continual planning. Excellence means always looking at how we can do things better. We need to work on documenting our procedures and look ahead on our calendars and plans. We do this but we can always tighten this up and increase our communication around our planning. Rapid Rehousing (RRH) has been a particular goal of yours and the organization. What happened this year on that front?
Our Housing and Homeless Services programs, led by Director Michelle Secours, has continued to grow, and be thought of as best-in-class by the community and leaders in the housing system. Specifically, our Rapid Rehousing program, which she helped us start along with Ofelia Zamora in March 2021, has housed over 178 people, including children. And 82% of them have remained housed. Ofelia and her four case managers have done an excellent job working with clients and helping them with wrap-around services to meet their needs and stay housed. Additionally, because of our success with the program, we were able to apply for and receive a grant from the federal government for Permanent Supportive Housing initiative. Michelle was able to develop staff — with Robin Craddock as manager — to lead and then implement that program. We recently received a second grant for the initiative. This will enable us to house even more clients, increasing from 50 to 125 people. That grant just started November 1. Additionally, our identification and representative payee services in the Homeless Services area flourished with Michelle’s manager of that department, Twana Northcutt. Along with four case managers and other support staff, she has made a huge impact in getting documents for folks experiencing homelessness and needing birth certificates, IDs, and Social Security cards to get into housing or find a job. What stood in the way of meeting more of your goals for 2023? The work we do is time-intensive and sometimes tiring. We try and have sufficient number of staff, but “doing the work” and cataloging or doing advance planning also takes a lot of discipline and time away from the work. That is not always a luxury we have. We are working to better plan for those slower times to do some of the work for growing the processes and doing the planning. We are working to do that in 2024 as we have learned from our work in 2023. What else stood out to you this year?
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The commitment and dedication of the staff we have and have added this year. We have a great culture and it’s a balance of making sure we are taking care of ourselves in addition to taking care of our clients and partners. We have a great culture and it’s a balance of making sure we are taking care of ourselves in addition to taking care of our clients and partners. We also have a team approach of taking care of or keeping our relationships with our wonderful volunteers and financial supporters. That is a critical aspect of what we do. Because we raise a huge portion of our dollars from private, nongovernment sources, our relationships with them are so important. Many of those folks are also our volunteers, and our volunteers save us thousands upon thousands of dollars because of their sweat equity. We are a big family, and it takes a lot of care and feeding of all of us – including staff. It is good and satisfying work … for all of us. Unfortunately, there is a lot to do. We hope to continue working to alleviate poverty and reduce homelessness. We are grateful for all those who work with us to do that. Brenda Snitzer is executive director of The Stewpot.
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STREETZine
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
Remembering Charles Duff 1970-2023 By Poppy Sundeen “Can I borrow your glasses?” That’s the first thing Charles ever said to me. He had just joined the Writers’ Workshop I co-facilitate at The Stewpot each week. In the hour that followed, we shared my reading glasses, while he worked on his first essay for the STREETZine. He wrote about homelessness, prison, and heartbreak, but mostly about what he loved. “I love art. I love music. I love love,” he wrote. “And this is life, is it not? The love of existing in a universe so full of possibilities.” A few weeks later, when the STREETZine edition came out, I showed him his piece printed in the paper. His eyes misted up as he held the page and said, “This is what I was meant to do.” From that time on, Charles was an enthusiastic member of our workshop. We took to keeping a small supply of cheap reading glasses on hand for him, so he could see well enough to work on his writing projects. When we sent a pair with him at the session’s end, he’d come back the next week without them. It’s hard to hold onto things when you live on the street.
Last Christmas, Charles sneaked into an immersive Van Gogh exhibition in downtown Dallas, stood in front of one of his favorite paintings and cried. A sympathetic guard let Charles have his moment in peace. Kindness of that sort wasn’t the norm. In one piece, Charles wrote, “The world is a colder place than the first time I was homeless. Thus far I have found that it is hard and perverse out here.” The challenges Charles faced on the street are reflected in one of his poems: Walking among the living, feeling alone and dead. Walking in this world of happiness, consumed with dread. Tears are many, smiles are few, Exhausted from being this way, Torn, bleeding, and abused. Maybe if I give up, No that can’t be it. How do you live in a world where you feel you don’t exist? Known by a number, barely mention your name.
Living in the clock of borrowed time. Charles’s time ran out a few weeks ago. When our Writers’ Workshop first heard the rumor about his death, we all hoped it wouldn’t prove true. Charles had told me recently that he wanted to go to Mississippi to see his mother, Lee Pearl Duff. I chose to picture him there telling her about seeing a Van Gogh painting in the raspy voice that earned him the nickname Frogman. In mid-November, we got confirmation of his death. The news hit our workshop group hard. As we observed a moment of silence, I thought about Charles, donning a pair of borrowed glasses to work on his essay. Then I thought about the many people who passed him on the street and averted their eyes, unwilling to acknowledge his existence. They’re the ones who needed glasses. Maybe then they could have seen Charles Duff for the beautiful soul he was. Poppy Sundeen, a Dallas writer, is a member of The STREETZine editorial board.
Charles wrote candidly about his regrets in life. “I didn’t finish school, I got hooked on drugs, I went to prison, all of which I had the choice to avoid but still I did it. I played with fire and got burnt.” He also wrote about finding silver linings, such as learning to play chess while he was serving time. “We were in prison, we were behind bars, but it still gave me a chance to do what I like to do: learn something new.” Books were a constant companion to Charles during his incarceration — and for the balance of his life. He spent a lot of his time at the Dallas Public Library, both because it offered shelter from the winter cold and summer heat and because it gave him access to the books he loved. He credited his mother with introducing him to reading and to art appreciation. “She took me to the library and got me a book on Vincent Van Gogh,” he wrote. “Me and Vincent been going through it ever since.”
Photo of Charles Duff Courtesy of James Varas.
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
Continued from page 2 We should not be wasting our things; we should be using them to help others.” There is a Christian community in Scotland called Iona that works for peace and justice by rebuilding community through worship. This community wrote a poem called Waster: It was on the Wednesday that they called him a waster. The place smelled like the perfume department of a mall. It was as if somebody had bumped their elbow against a bottle and sent it crashing to the floor, setting off the most expensive stink bomb on earth. But it happened in a house, not a shop.
ousy was in the air when a poor woman’s generosity became an embarrassment to their tight-fistedness... That was on the Wednesday when they called him a waster. Can we demonstrate extravagant love and serve those in need? Is extravagant love wastefulness? Jesus rebukes Judas’ stance, by saying, “Leave her alone!” Extravagant love and caring for others are not either/or. They are both/and. There is a way in which you can extravagantly love those you serve. Mary illustrates what it means to be a disciple through her enthralling actions. She chooses to minister to Jesus by kneeling before him and serving him.
And the woman who broke the bottle was no casual afternoon shopper. She was the penniless poorest of the poor, giving away the only precious thing she had. And he sat still while she poured the liquid all over his head ... as unnecessary as aftershave on a full crop of hair and a bearded chin. And those who smelled it, and those who saw it, and those who remembered that he was against extravagance, called him a waster.
Extravagant love and caring for others are not either/or. They are both/and.
They forgot that he was also the poorest of the poor. And they who had much and who had given him nothing, objected to a pauper giving him everything. Jeal-
There is not too much we can do; we can always give more. Smash the bottle, pour it all out, be fantastically excessive in sharing the fragrance of love!
Thinking about Mary’s actions and what we should do with them, the definition of extravagance proves helpful: “unrestrained or fantastic excess of actions.” If we think in terms of both/and, being fantastically excessive with how we care for others, it is a beautiful way to share the love of God.
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For days, Jesus had a lingering smell of the perfume on his body. The smell served as a reminder of the love that was showed to him. When others smelled that fragrance after Mary anointed Jesus, they too must have been taken back in time to the home of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. This memory, evoked by smell, reminded them of Mary’s love and compelled them to share the love of God through their actions. When we serve, care for and love others, we too share in God’s extravagant love. A love demonstrated by Mary. A love that Jesus gave us. A love that God continues to lavish upon us each and every day. What are the special fragrances in your life? How do they remind you of past experiences, in what way was love present? How might past fragrances participate in the creation of new memories? How might those memorable smells become a fragrance of love? May different smells stop you in your tracks and remind you to serve others in fantastic excess! Take a deep breath in, notice the smell. Reverend Meagan Findeiss is associate pastor for care and belonging at the First Presbyterian Church of Dallas.
Art by Stewpot Artist Charles William.
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Writers’ Workshop Essays Editor’s Note: Each Friday morning at 10 a.m., The Stewpot hosts a Writers’ Workshop. During the sessions, participants address selected topics through prose or poetry. In this edition of STREETZine, we feature the essays of writers that explore 2023. Guitar Lessons By A Woman from a Dallas Shelter Did you ever love doing something so much that it made you forget time and space? And the sense of elation felt like wings lifting you up? Playing the guitar had such an effect on me. Guitar music was the salve for my pain and trouble. Holding the guitar and plucking its strings near my heart gave me a feeling of harmony. The sound of guitar was sweet and intimate. It brought relief to my struggle with my mental handicap and illness. I had a passion to become a musician in order to share my interpretation of the beauty of guitar music with others. I was working on a set of pieces early this year when things suddenly went wrong. Overnight, my right-hand fingers became out of control as soon as I brought them near the strings. They were locked in a grotesque posture, unable to approach the strings with precision and necessary strength. In the matter of a week, I turned from an aspiring guitarist into a guitar casualty without even a chance to perform once in public. This brought me indescribable pain. I was like a stray dog no longer having a caring family. My eyes, reflected in the mirror, appeared lifeless like those of a fish. I was dumbfounded and at the same time refusing to accept what had happened. I took a good look at both of my hands. I noticed something I had never paid attention to. The joints of my right-hand fingers were less flexible. In addition, the ligaments of my right-hand fingers weren’t well aligned compared to those of my left hand. As a result, my right-hand fingers couldn’t move independently like those of my left hand. This explained the slow progress I made before the catastrophe hit. My left hand offered me a clear picture of what a good hand should look and act like. Perhaps I could start stretching my righthand fingers and loosening those joints. I did so diligently for months. There was improvement in their flexibility, but their motions were still topsy-turvy. I then tried
Art by Stewpot Artist Flying Burrito. tapes and rubber bands to prevent antagonistic motions from the pinky finger. This seemed helpful initially but soon, built-up tensions made further motions impossible. I physically separated the middle finger and the ring finger with a small piece of hard sponge in between. This was definitely the center of the problem. They did gain independence to a degree. But the makeshift physical distance between the fingers and the unsteady sponge presented a new set of problems. I had heard of scaling back expectations when things went wrong. But it was more easily said than done when something that meant so much to me suddenly began to retreat from my life. I couldn’t reconcile myself to the fact that I was one of the casualties in the pursuit of beauty and virtuosity in guitar performance. I would hang on to my dream just a little longer. I decided to keep the fingernails of my thumb and index finger much longer than they used to be, hoping to bridge the length discrepancy among the fingers to correct one of the anatomical disadvantages of my right hand. I was so terrified of finding out if this was just more wishful
thinking that I had all my fingernails cut several times before they reached the intended lengths. As 2023 draws to an end, I’ve finally made up my mind not to sabotage my fingernails anymore and will, once and for all, settle my relationship with the guitar no matter what the outcome is. As I anxiously wait for my fingernails to grow out, I feel like I’ve aged more years than one in 2023. Time has taught me that my aspiration to become a performing guitarist was more fantastic than realistic. My self-taught practice lacked the guidance from a good teacher who could have given me an objective perspective of the place of guitar in my life and kept me from veering off to a disaster. Guitar has brought me equal shares of joy and pain. In the process, I have learned to base my expectations on facts instead of feelings, something contrary to my nature but with long term benefit. A Woman from a Dallas Shelter is a participant in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
Finding Hope in 2023 By Joseph Lee III If you want to know my story, I must start by giving God all the glory. I came to Texas several years ago with some goals and dreams. I was a new father in a new relationship. I wanted to get married to this woman as soon as I found out she was pregnant with my first son. But she did not agree. There were so many red flags showing, but red flags were kind of my thing. Nothing could prepare me for what I was about to go through. “Let’s move to Texas,” she said. “I want to be closer to my mother and the cost of living is cheaper.” I thought, why not? We could have a new start and I could grow up and be a real father to my children. At this time, we had two sons — one boy from her previous relationship and a new baby boy. I wanted to do whatever I had to do to be there for her and our two sons. You see, I was really good in New York City. I could have been great, but I refused to let my new family go to Texas without me. And to be honest, I looked forward to this journey to a place with my new family. So, I left everything I’d known for the unMy Rearview Recapture of 2023 By Jason Turner My reflection on 2023 is so much more comforting than my reflection on 2022. I was able to meet many of my goals this year, including not living any longer in a shelter. Peace of mind and a routine structure are now normal for me. I learned about “essential process” through my outpatient program that I still attend at The Bridge. Essential process leads to stability by finding structure through routine. The holidays won’t be as eventful this year but my greatest gift to loved ones is they no longer have to worry about me being homeless or not getting the help I need due to mental health explosions. I’m learning to humble myself and change my mind instead of overreacting and becoming embarrassed. True, I don’t have a job now. And I am not yet drawing disability payments through Social Security. Panhandling has been my source for income outside of Dallas Street Choir concerts and selling STREETZine.
known, and it was tough. I was a street performer most of my life, so I knew how to make something out of nothing in New York, but now I had to do it in Texas. We moved to Grand Prairie in Dallas County, and everything was new to me, from the neighborhood to the people. I had to find a new job. Oh, and did I mention I never had any reason to drive in New York? I had to learn how-to drive-in Texas at 27 years old. I’ve always been a late bloomer. Now there’s a lot to my story that I can’t fit into this version, but I will tell you that the devil attacked me hard, similar to the way he attacked Job. After working hard our first six months in Texas, CPS was called, and our two sons were forced into the system due to our marijuana use. While fighting to get my boys back, my daughter was born. Her middle name is Grace, which means unmerited gift from God. God showed grace and mercy on us throughout that whole ordeal. We were eventually reunited and were a family again, and I did all I could to thank God. I was trying to be at church with our new friends as much as possible. Still, my wife and I started to grow apart, and I couldn’t understand why. I honestly didn’t
I want to thank Dallas for being so kind and I would never take advantage of the help people give me. I get what I need from panhandling and then leave. Not being on the corner frequently allows people to help more often. They help anyway, but I noticed it comes fast if I present myself less frequently and not become greedy. Plus, it’s uncomfortable to stand on the street curb and beg. I don’t see it as begging because I’m honestly taking steps to move ahead. But I won’t miss the occasional heckler and the glancing look of people with a valid ID and solid support nearby. I hope to put up Christmas lights at my new place this year, find part-time work, and be approved for disability. I can then rest easy in my permanent housing although I tread on eggshells to maintain my apartment and to keep it clean and quiet. I see 2024 as the year of less stress, a time where there is more to look forward to and room to make plans. This year, I was creating solid structure and waiting for housing while
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want to understand. I just wanted my wife and to be a family. I wanted to do better and be a better father than any dad before me. I tried everything to fix us, but the sad truth was everything I tried showed me that we were no longer for each other. I was at my apartment where I lived alone. On April 29, 2015, I tried meth for the first time, not knowing how strong the effects were. To this day I don’t know why. To make a long story short, I lost everything I had worked for — wife, kids, self-respect, dignity, then my freedom. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally got myself back and through prayer, God has told me that He will bless me with my kids and a new wife. So, I’m staying on the path that God set before me. Romans 5:3–5 But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Joseph Lee III is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
gathering documents. Next year, I have more to be responsible for living outside the assistance of a shelter. 2023 started off rough because I was institutionalized. But that faded quickly. I’ll never forget 2023 as the moment when the tide turned. I was beginning to lose hope in finding a welcoming home. As I look back on my struggles and what I have learned from them, including accepting failure and being willing to adjust, I think of the words of Nicki Minaj: “I still don’t wish death on ‘ em, I just reflect on ‘em.” This is my rearview mirror recap of 2023. Jason Turner is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
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Christmas Memories By Vicki Gies The first Christmas I remember was when I was about four years old, and I wanted a new tricycle. I remember making trinkets the next Christmas, when I was five, for our gift exchange party. As I got older, I figured out the Santa Claus bit, but Christmas was still very special. Also, as I got older, the Christmas gifts dwindled down a bit. The toy gifts turned into school clothes and shoes. Two toys that I did keep were my Barbie doll and teddy bear. And from that year on, it became more clothes, shoes, pajamas, and undergarments. It was pretty much the same thing year after year, especially for school and work. As my interest in Santa faded, Elvis Presley took his place. Of course, with my dad being in the gospel music business, he knew Elvis personally. And we even had his autograph! As I reached adulthood, many of my relatives had died. So, my parents and I kept our Christmases at home. Our smaller, quieter Christmases were still special though, until the year my dad became sick with cancer. That same year, my mother also was diagnosed with cancer. My mother’s cancer was much worse than my dad’s. His cancer went into remission, but hers did not. They both ended up passing away, and for the next several years after their deaths, I wanted the holidays to go away. After my parents passed, I became addicted to drugs, and that went on for over 20 years. I’m now 71 years old and have been clean for the past six years. I turned over a new leaf. I still talk about the Serenity Prayer and how it helped me. It goes like this: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I rededicated my life to Jesus and have kept away from my past, and now I have a better life. I go to church every Sunday! I have a wonderful pastor and new friends there too. For Christmas this year, I am still homeless. I am waiting on one of the housing lists. Every day I pray for a place to live, and I am hopeful that my husband and I will get that soon. I still love to watch the children during the holidays because it reminds me of the fun I had when I was younger. In the meantime, I watched the Macy’s Day Parade on Thanksgiving morning, followed by football the rest of the day. And now I’ll be waiting for the rest of the Christmas events. I dedicate this story to the little old man who wears a red suit, hat, and black boots. Santa Claus made my life so happy for many years, and I am thankful that I still have all those wonderful memories. Vicki Gies is a STREETZine vendor and frequent contributor.
Talkin’ to God By Joseph Lee III Merciful Father, how I adore Thee. You’ve answered all my prayers and always been here for me. You sacrificed your Son. I’ll never forget the story Of how He died for me And gave You all the glory. Immaculate conception, Virgin Mary What a burden He did carry, All the sins of the world, I mean that had to be scary, Knowing that you’re about to die for the ones that will kill you. Imagine preaching for God and nobody will hear you. People twisting your message so everyone will fear you. But He died, was buried and then raised so that clear proof The people fear truth And would rather be lied to Than grateful Joseph Lee III is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
STREETZine
Year in Review: In One Word, Faith By MIke McCall We have come to that time of the year when we pause to reflect on what all has happened. For the first time in many years, I’m able to look back with a sense of pride at all I have accomplished and overcome. In a sense, I was reborn into this world and, not unlike a child, I required the guidance, love and assistance it takes to become independent. Just imagine being dropped in a city with no income or shelter, just the clothes on your back. This is what they mean by starting at zero with no place to go. Luckily, I started this year one step removed from the dismal streets. I had seven months in the shelter and one semester of school behind me. I was living in a cubicle at The Bridge, attempting to build a new life by accepting the truth that I was just one bad decision away from going back to jail or the streets. So, I kept my head down and trusted the process that led me to completing my second semester and being approved for an apartment. The strength in my resolve gave birth to the forgotten feeling of pride in my accomplishments. If I could describe this year in one word, it would be faith. For many of us who have lost it all, faith is the only thing we are left with. This simple word became the food for my soul, the power in my purpose and the courage to create change. It became the foundation of my new world and with it came glory. So, without a doubt, this year has become one of the best in my life. It has given me back more than I could ever imagine, and I look forward to what 2024 has in store. Mike McCall is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
Shadowback: A Look at 2023 By James Varas My pastor once told me a story of a horse that was walking at night and fell into a deep pit. As people walked by, they would throw trash onto the horse and the horse would shake it off and stomp it down. Days and months passed by, but people kept throwing their trash on the horse and he kept shaking it off his back and stomping down on it. Eventually as more days and months passed by, and as people kicked dirt onto the animal and laughed as they walked by, the horse would do the same. He would shake the dirt off his body and then stomp down on it with rage. Finally, he began to stand higher and higher on the mound of dirt and trash he built up from stomping down on all the trash and dirt people threw on him. Eventually, he jumped out of that pit and the people never saw him again. I was asked to write a piece about looking back at the past year. I felt it necessary to use this story to tell about my year because I have left the dirt and trash of it behind in the pit. I ask Jesus to forgive me each day for my sins, and to throw all my sins in the sea of forgetfulness, never to be remembered against me. In return, I must forgive others as Jesus forgives me. If you punch me in the face, I forgive you. But it doesn’t mean I have to let you do it over and over. There comes a time when we must fight back, to keep our rights and maintain the freedom of living in a world of happiness. But I would rather tell you about the light and not the darkness or evil of this world. I have had a great year. Like that horse, I am free and grateful for all of God’s blessings. I am particularly glad that I was able to move from The Bridge to my skyrise downtown. Thank you, Jesus Christ. Thank you, Heavenly Father. And thank you, Holy Spirit. James Varas is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
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STREETZine
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
Looking Back By David Arnaz I am honored and very much proud of myself and all that I have accomplished this year. The promises I made to myself, the decisions, and a few mistakes I made that, now, I am able to learn from. Looking back on this year, I can see that it was going to be a tough one. It started off as a fight to keep my sanity after the loss of my son, which I am still hurt about. I knew that I had to stay focused on life and the purpose of it. For most of the time, I had to keep my story to myself. I started by continuing to stay positive and stay away from the wrong crowd. I kept myself busy and volunteered. I have always been a loner, so staying to myself wasn’t a problem. I met a woman in March. Being with her gave me more positive things to do. I used to stay in The Bridge each day. With her, I started going out. Going to see and help my grandmother around her home also kept me busy. In July, I received the good news about my housing and in August, I moved in and haven’t looked back. I’m really enjoying my time in my living situation. In November, it was three months totally off the street and out of the shelter. I’m still trying to get situated with the things I need, but overall, I’m happy now and have peace of mind. Looking back on this past year, I just couldn’t believe all of the things that I wanted to do, I achieved. I’ve had anger issues all my life. This year I was more focused on walking away from altercations and keeping my mouth closed rather than speaking my mind. There were many times I found myself in situations that would have gotten me in deep trouble in my past. Controlling myself is the key to peace, restraining my mouth and keeping my hands to myself. These three steps helped me this year: 1. I went to group for anger management. 2. I learned the tools I needed to keep away from negativity. 3. I learned triggers and ways to handle them and avoid confrontation. Now, I am here doing great things and telling my story, hoping that someone would take heed and learn from my mistakes. David Arnaz is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
Church By Joseph Lee III This is the day that the Lord has given me. I will rejoice and be glad in it, Because yesterday I was lost but today, I am found. I thought so low of myself my bed was the ground. And when I was down no one was around. Except for you, my Lord. You’ve never let me down. So, I give myself away and die every night and start anew every day. I keep the word on my heart to keep the haters away. Cause the devil flees when no man pursues. So, when I tell ‘em what God did they start looking confused, Start itching and twitching then they wanna leave the room. But you better start to listen and hope that you can hear, Cause when two are together we can have church right here. Joseph Lee III is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
Photo of Joseph Lee III.
DECEMBER EDITION 2023
STREETZine
Looking Back on 2023 By Darin Thomas Still having a job is one thing I am grateful for as I look back over 2023. My work at Goodwill Industries keeps money in my pocket. It is enjoyable being with others there. I like that we provide people clothes they might need. I also got to reconnect with my dad in July. He lives in Kansas City after serving a nearly 40-year prison sentence for murdering my mother. I was nine when that happened and witnessed it along with my siblings. That traumatic event impacted my entire life a great bit. My dad has lived in Kansas City since being released from prison. I took the bus up there over the Fourth of July and stayed in his house. He showed me places where he works in construction. I was impressed with his work. We talked about old times, like where we used to go fishing in Springfield, Missouri. I remember on one trip catching a big catfish. We also talked about our love of boxing. My dad had encouraged me to become a professional boxer. And we talked about trips we took to come back to visit my grandmother in Dallas. My grandmother and I were close. She raised me in Dallas after my mother’s death. This trip was easier than I expected. I had seen him about a dozen years before, so that helped. Before then, I had seen him only a few times since he went to prison. When I came back to Dallas after our visit this summer, I felt a sense of forgiveness. I had been working on forgiving him for a while. After our visit, I felt relief but also mixed feelings about what happened to my mother. For most of this year I had my own place. I liked having my apartment and my family over. In September, though, my Rapid Rehousing voucher ran out. I went to live with my cousin and her husband for a while. Now, I am living at The Bridge in downtown Dallas. I am on a list to get Permanent Supportive Housing. My goal now is to get my next apartment. The Writers’ Workshop also has provided a chance to live again through expressing myself, being together with others in this time of need, and getting through my life. I like writing because I get to share my thoughts. And being part of a group of writers on Friday morning makes me feel like I belong to a team. Overall, 2023 has been positive for me. I got to see my father, still have a job, and a place to stay. Darin Thomas is a writer in The Stewpot’s Writers’ Workshop.
Art by Stewpot Artist Cornelious Brackens, Jr.
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DECEMBER EDITION 2023
STREETZine
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