Issuu

H ME KE TA

EE FR E OM

Thames Valley West

IN THIS ISSUE

Christmas special! Have yourself a merry indie Christmas Best Christmas shows and markets 40 winter days out RECRUITING NOW Successful ‘business mum’ is seeking 5 working partners to work part-time from home, alongside & without compromising family commitments or current career. If you have a supervisory, managerial, sales, marketing, recruitment or selfemployed background, or you wish to develop an extraordinary lifestyle

please call Diana Page 01235 533362 • 07747 086518

BRACKNELL NORTH (WARFIELD) 01344 723123 stagecoach.co.uk/bracknellnorth HENLEY AND MARLOW 07539 753718 stagecoach.co.uk/henleyandmarlow READING CAVERSHAM 07894 951990 stagecoach.co.uk/readingcaversham READING WEST 01962 777 500 stagecoach.co.uk/readingwest BRACKNELL 01344 568658 stagecoach.co.uk/bracknell HOLIDAY HIGH WYCOMBE 07539 753718 WORKSHOP stagecoach.co.uk/highwycombe BOOKINGS OPEN READING EAST 01183 712996 stagecoach.co.uk/readingeast WOKINGHAM 01183 712998 stagecoach.co.uk/wokingham

Helping children believe they can do anything Singing, dancing and acting classes for 4 - 18 year-olds

Stagecoach Performing Arts is the trading name of Stagecoach Theatre Arts Limited. Stagecoach Theatre Arts schools are operated under franchise and are independently owned by their Principals. Stagecoach and Creative Courage For Life are registered trademarks of Stagecoach Theatre Arts Limited.

Issue 104 November/December 2019

familiesonline.co.uk

d le an ab 1 ail EW ar av N , Ye ow n n io s pt se ce las Re 2 C ar Ye

Experts in Education for Boys We believe the period from 4-13 years are the most critical in any boyâ€™s life. We invite you to come and see for yourself what a difference a Horris Hill education could make to your son.

Please book an appointment to view our school and meet headmaster, Giles Tollit, by emailing registrar@horrishill.com

Families Thames Valley West is part of Families Print Ltd, a franchise company. All franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under licence. Families is a registered trademark of LCMB Ltd, Remenham House, Regatta Place, Marlow Road, Bourne End, Bucks SL8 5TD. The contents of Families Thames Valley West are fully protected by copyright and none of the editorial or photographic matter may be reproduced in any form without prior consent of Families Thames Valley West. Every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine, but the franchise company, Families Print Ltd and Lifecycle Marketing cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers nor for the accuracy of the contents, or any consequence thereof.

...endless ideas for families of young children in Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire Families® Thames Valley West • Issue 104 • November/December 2019 Visit us at www.familiesonline.co.uk

In this issue... 4-6

News and views

Making stars ... and shedding tears

8-9 11

Have yourself a merry indie Christmas Education news School open days

Writing the future: Inaaya Mahek

Night time nappies to no nappies

14-15 Festive family fun 16-19 What’s On Guide 20-21 Clubs and classes directory 22

Clubs and classes news

Anxious parents, anxious children ?

Choosing a musical instrument for your child

Does co-parenting work ?

Meet the real life Willie Wonka!

Best family Christmas traditions

Is your child being bullied ?

Rebuilding your child's conﬁdence after being bullied

Social media - a guide for parents

Acts of Kindness Calendar

Next issue: January/February – Green issue, early years special

Hello from the Edit or...

You can’t beat the Thames Valley when it comes to family events over the Christmas period. You can take your pick from pantomimes, Christmas markets, grottos, carnivals and much more. We have packaged it all up into one parcel here for you to pick out what best suits your family. While we’re talking Christmas, we are delighted to print our ﬁrst alternative gift guide – support local businesses, pick up some truly unique and thoughtful presents, and have yourself a merry indie Christmas. To share that feel-good factor with your child, check out our Acts of Kindness wall calendar – tick oﬀ one good deed per day across advent and spread the Christmas love. We also have some exclusive interviews in this issue, including with a local 10-year-old author, the head of a stage school, and features about everything from co-parenting to bullying. We always welcome your feedback – drop me a line at editor@familiestvw.co.uk with any suggestions for content you'd love to read, or to learn more about promoting your business with us to 47,000 parents.

Rachel.

LEIPER GUPTA FAMILY L AWYERS

Booking deadline: 1 December.

Don’t miss these great oﬀers • Your child on the cover COMPETITION - see p.5 • 20 FREE taster sessions at Best Life Basics - see p.6 • One FREE child with one full paying adult at The Look Out Discovery Centre - see p.18 • FREE trial classes at Perform, BilinguaSing, diddi dance and Berzerk Productions, see page 20-21 • FREE 2 week trial with Street Feet Dance, see page 22 • FREE trial class at Monkey Music - see p.24 • FREE trial session at Shichida UK - see p.24 familiesonline.co.uk

“On a par with any of the top City family law firms.” Legal 500 Leading Firm 2020

• A FREE 30-minute family law consultation with LGFL Ltd, see page 25 • FREE taster session at Steppin Out - see p.27 Find us on Facebook and Instagram To advertise: If you are reading this, so are your customers! We can help you reach an audience of over 47,000 parents in Reading, Henley, Newbury, Wokingham, Bracknell and West Berkshire. Give us a call on 07968 711937 or drop us a line at editor@familiestvw.co.uk to ﬁnd out how we can help support your family friendly business!

The Families team Editor: Rachel Jones Designed by: Ridgeway Press Ltd, 01256 300 420 www.ridgewaypress.co.uk

Areas of Expertise: • • • • • • • • •

Divorce and Financial Settlements Children and School Fees Orders Separation Issues Domestic Abuse Co-habitee Agreements & Disputes Pre-nup Agreements Mediation Collaborative Law Surrogacy

Offices in Swallowfield and Reading FREE initial consultation for qualifying individuals

LGFL Ltd Tel: 01189 735521 www.lgfamilylawyers.co.uk

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

Families Thames Valley West • 3

News & views

Record numbers at Berkshire Show Scorching September sunshine drew record numbers to the Newbury Showground for the Royal County of Berkshire Show. The show, in its 110th year, featured a new layout, plus almost 650 trade stands, a motorbike stunt headline act and a sponsorship deal with Clarence Court Eggs. It also stayed true to its roots as a top agricultural show with livestock travelling from across the UK to compete in the prestigious competitions.

Your child could make our cover Could your child be the face of Families Thames Valley West? We are looking for a star image to feature on the front cover of our January / February issue. If the one chosen is yours, it will reach over 47,000 parents over a huge area of the Thames Valley. To enter, simply send us your portrait photo and a paragraph on who is in the shot and where it was taken. The photo must contain at least one child in an outdoor setting that suits the season/months of January / February. Parents and pets can also feature in the photo. The main subjects in your shot need to occupy only threequarters of the photo in height, with a clear border around the edges for our cover text. Check out our current cover as a guide. Please send your entries to editor@familiestvw.co.uk under the subject 'Cover Kids'. The closing date is December 1st. Finalists will go to a public Facebook vote at a date to be conﬁrmed in the next few weeks.

This year, children’s tickets were slashed to £1, with hundreds of families enjoying the have-ago opportunities, including riding Segways, the largest mobile zip wire and science

experiments courtesy of Reading University. Other highlights of the two-day countryside adventure included a packed food tent showcasing many local businesses, equine classes, a Grand Parade of Livestock and a new Bee & Honey Tent. Save the date for next year’s Royal County of Berkshire Show: 19-20 September 2020. berkshireshow.co.uk

The hunt is on for West Berkshire foster families The Family Placement Team is looking for new foster carers to provide a loving and nurturing home for children of all ages, including those with additional needs and those seeking asylum from other countries. Your warmth, passion and commitment could help them reach their full potential and write the next chapter in their lives. The team would like to hear from you; whether you can oﬀer short or long term care or even some emergency or respite support. West Berkshire Children & Family Services has been recognised as Good by OFSTED. They oﬀer a competitive fostering allowance, dedicated support and a comprehensive

training programme. They would love to hear from potential carers of all ages, marital status or ﬁrst language. E: fptmessages@westberks.gov.uk T: 01635 503155

Good luck everyone!

Ladies gym celebrates first year

freedom to learn

BestLife Basics – Bracknell’s ladies gym – is celebrating its first birthday. Marla Murray Callisen spotted a gap in the market for a supportive and friendly studio where women would feel relaxed and empowered to spend time on their fitness and see real results. Unusually, the gym welcomes its clients’ children, making it much easier for Mums to fit in exercise, especially in the school holidays.

An Independent Prep School for boys and girls (aged 3-13) in Hurst, Berkshire

0118 934 1277 dolphinschool.com

and stronger, and learn to love themselves that bit more.” BestLife Basics is oﬀering Families readers a free trial session. Book at bestlifebasics.co.uk/loseyourbellyfat/

As well as open gym sessions, there are classes – including Ladies Learning to Lift – and free nutrition sessions. Marla, who is known as the ‘belly fat buster’ by her clients, says: “If you’d have said to me five years ago that I would have the opportunity to run my own fitness studio and teach others, I would not have believed you. I love helping women to transform their lives, become fitter

4 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

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Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk â€˘ Tel: 07968 711937

Families Thames Valley West â€˘ 5

News & views

The Tiger Who Came to Tea hits our screens The Tiger Who Came to Tea, the classic children’s book by Judith Kerr, will come to TV this Christmas adapted as a half-hour animated ﬁlm for Channel 4.

The smart way to feed your family It just got even easier to feed your family with nutritious meals. Smart Infused Füd – which was launched earlier this year and delivers brainboosting meals to your door – can now also be picked up at your local Cobbs stores. The Wiltshire-based founder, Hattie Mauleverer, designed the range with a registered nutritionist and qualified chef to ensure the food not only tastes delicious, but offers a truly nutritious option for busy families. The meals include fishcakes, chili con carne and lamb tagine, and the range has just been expanded to include fish pie and

lasagne. They are packed with vegetables, but also optimise key nutrients, vitamins and minerals, studied for their benefits for cognitive function, concentration, energy, immune and nervous system support in primary school age children. They are flash frozen after cooking to lock in all the goodness, with no need for artificial preservatives. The range can now be bought from Cobbs in Englefield, Hungerford and Winchester, as well as online at smartinfusedfud.co.uk. Check out Families’ review on our Facebook and Instagram pages.

It will feature a star-studded cast of voices including Benedict Cumberbatch, David Oyelowo, Tamsin Greig, David Walliams and Paul Whitehouse. The role of Sophie will be played by 7-year-old Clara Ross, who will be making her TV debut. For anyone that doesn’t know the book, it tells the tale of the tiger that shows up at young Sophie’s front door and proceeds to eat the family out of house and home, even going so far as to drink all of the water out of the taps, before declaring: “Thank you for my nice tea. I think I’d better go now,” and departing. Chloe Tucker, Commissioning Executive, Channel 4 Drama said: “The Tiger Who Came to Tea is a timeless classic, and we hope this ﬁlm will capture the same special place in every family's imagination watching it.

LADIES LEARNING TO LIFT

Bracknell’s Newest Fitness Studio Designed Specifically for Women

Do you hate your belly fat and wish you could get rid of it? My clients call me the belly fat buster and my solution to your problem is so easy you will be shocked by its simplicity. I have 20 free Taster Sessions to give away this Autumn. Don't worry if you have little ones at home — this is a kid-friendly gym. Book your FREE Session here: https://www.bestlifebasics.co.uk/loseyourbellyfat/ Or call Marla on 01183342551

6 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

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After 28 years in the entertainment industry, Shelley Otway has learned to cope with the emotions that go with ﬁrst nights. But having moved on from performer to run her own stage school, the tears she now sheds are for her students.

helley is the principal and artistic director behind the highly respected Steppin Out Stars of Tomorrow, which currently inspires some 300 students at weekly sessions in Wargrave, Woodley and Wokingham. Singing, dancing and drama are all covered in classes for children who can start as early as three-and-ahalf and continue until 17 when the best go on to drama school. Shelley launched Steppin Out in 2015 after a long and successful career in the entertainment industry in which she danced, sang and acted in a string of big musicals. Her musical credits include appearances in Anything Goes, 42nd Street and Oliver. She went on to appear in plays including The Matchmaker, Stepping Out, and Man and Superman where she won several awards as best actress. The school’s successes are considerable. You may well have come across current or former Steppin Out students in professional pantomime (17 of them last Christmas). Others are performing in West End touring runs of Billy Elliott, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and West End

familiesonline.co.uk

Making stars … and shedding tears productions of Les Miserables, The Secret Garden and Matilda. The school also lays on performances at venues like Disneyland Paris, Formula 1 events and half-time entertainment in major rugby matches. But it is the first nights in the theatre that Shelley finds particularly emotional. “Seeing a child who has come to us with no experience appearing on stage in the West End is the absolute icing on the cake for me,” she says. “I cry my eyes out – worse than any parent!” There are, of course, only a few who will reach that level and, while catering for them in elite classes, such as their new “Troupe”, Steppin Out reckons on giving pupils at all stages a high level of fulfilment. “We get huge satisfaction from bringing out confidence in children who

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

had none,” she says. “We have one lad who wouldn’t even come through the door on week one. By half term, we got him singing and dancing, and his progress since then has been so great that he went on to the run of Billy Elliott.” Shelley is a ﬁrm believer in creating a nurturing environment for her students and in running a whole series of performances through a year, building up to a big one in July in a professional theatre. Her contacts (and the school’s reputation) are such that she can call on expertise from a string of professionals including Emma Barton (Honey Mitchell in East Enders and now a Strictly Come Dancing contender).

Families Thames Valley West • 7

Have yourself a me Internet shopping in the run-up to Christmas is a very tempting proposition when the alternative is battling through crowds in a hectic town centre. Sorting it all out from your armchair so easily beats hunting on foot and rarely ﬁnding the same selection. But you never quite escape the guilt of not supporting your own high street and watching it progressively decline. It’s good news then that small and essentially local gift businesses are now popping up all over our own area – many with an online string to their bows. Their wares are often unique, sometimes hand-made and usually local. The beneﬁt comes back into your town through wages and buying services from other local suppliers. We have hand-picked a few of them here to give you an ‘indie Christmas’.

The Corner Shop The Corner Shop Woolhampton is one-of-akind – a treasure trove of special, on-trend gifts and accessories not to be found on your average high street. Conveniently located between Newbury and Reading, it was set up in 2014 by friends, Claire Dibble and Nina Peddie, frustrated by the lack of local places to ﬁnd the perfect present. Claire and Nina have a knack for sourcing beautiful products for every age, and at prices to suit every pocket. With an eye on the seasons, The Corner Shop stocks an everchanging variety of beautiful gifts – from cashmere jumpers to unusual pocket money toys. Marry that with super friendly and helpful

service (including bespoke gift wrapping), and you have a pretty special place. Nina says: “We are two mothers who, having lived in the area for 20 years, felt that it was time for a shopping destination other than Newbury or Reading. Our customers tell us that we have saved them from a last minute present panic on many an occasion! I’m predicting that our animal belts and velvet pouches are going to be particularly popular this Christmas. For children, the super cool ‘phrase’ cushions always sell well and for younger ones, the Maileg range is always a big hit.” thecornershopwoolhampton.com

Children’s clothes and gifts that are made to last

littleoakclothing.co.uk

8 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

Spirit & Grace Gifts Spirit & Grace is a gift boutique, the brainchild of Katie Topping from Holyport, who quit the corporate world when she had her twin sons, now aged ten. Katie curates a unique and stylish collection of jewellery, accessories and gifts. Each on-trend item is from up-andcoming designer brands. Prices start at £10 and Katie prides herself on ensuring that her whole collection represents aﬀordable quality. Some Spirit & Grace bestsellers include delicate sterling silver jewellery, genuine leather bags and belts, scarves in every colour and keyrings to add a touch of glamour. Families is coveting the 2-way leather messenger clutch bag (for those occasional days we don’t need a ‘Mum bag’). Katie says: “I pride myself on oﬀering gift ideas perfect for every occasion and personality, as well as ‘justbecause’ treats for the giver. My top pick for teacher’s gifts this year are the eye-catching wrap bracelets – no-one can resist these, or a must-have animal print scarf!” The Spirit & Grace range can be bought online at spiritandgracegifts.co.uk and at selected pop-up events across Berkshire.

familiesonline.co.uk

rry indie Christmas Chapel Cards Burghfield-based Julie Sweeting launched Chapel Cards in 2002 from a passion to create a handpicked, handmade collection of cards and gifts not available in traditional catalogues and shops. Julie and her team bring together beautifully crafted and original pieces, combining old and new, simple and ornate to create something that is different, inspirational and beautiful. As well as the signature handmade notelets and cards, Chapel Cards offers a wide range of gifts. These include vintage coasters, trinket boxes, keepsake books and hand-painted signs. There is even a substantial section of the website dedicated to ‘family’, including greetings cards for every family member – Families loves the wooden tags bearing the message on the front. Julie, who has been selling through Notonthehighstreet since 2011 as well as through her website, says: “Our philosophy is to only make and choose items that we love and would love to have in our home. Each one has been tried and tested on our children, godchildren, friends and family.” Her top picks for the tricky-to-buy-for men in your life? “I’d have to go for either our best-selling leather wallet or any of our range of cufflinks or funky socks” says Julie. “We also have a wide range of sports gifts and a unique selection of special cards and gifts for landmark birthdays.” The Chapel Cards range can be bought from chapelcards.co.uk

Smart Infused Füd

What better gift for busy parents than a break from cooking? Smart Infused Füd was set up by Wiltshire-based catering supremo Hattie Mauleverer, with nutritionist Jo Saunders and Chef Georgie Soskin. It is a range of nutritionally boosted freezer food for primary school aged children. The range consists of six dairy free, gluten free meals including fruity chicken, fishcakes, lamb tagine, sausage casserole, Chilli Con Carne and vegan shepherd's pie. They're cooked from scratch and flash frozen after cooking to lock in all the goodness. The recipes also go above and beyond ‘5-a-day’ thinking too and are packed with vegetables and cleverly infused with goodies - think key nutrients, vitamins and minerals all chosen for their proven benefits for cognitive function, concentration, energy, immune and nervous system support in children. They offer gift boxes so you can treat a loved one this Christmas – each containing 12 meals. Products can be bought online and delivered to your door from smartinfusedfud.co.uk, or from Cobbs stores.

Little Oak Clothing, Bucklebury

Toothbrush Fairy Company Like a lot of Mums, Daniela Gardiner was keen to ensure that her family made its own small mark on the issue of single-use plastics. What she didn’t quite expect was to translate that determination into a business that is now selling 100% biodegradable bamboo toothbrushes as a substitute for plastic ones. The idea germinated from a wider employee initiative run at the Bracknell offices of electronics giant Panasonic, where Daniela works in the legal department. With a website launched at fairytoothbrush.com, Daniela’s Toothbrush Fairy Company now offers a range running from individual toothbrushes through to family packs and toothbrush subscriptions (taking the hassle and worry out of remembering to replace your toothbrush). Wider offerings include natural toothpaste, tooth picks, dental floss and tropical fruit chewing gum. The products are also all Vegan certified. The range of gift packs would make ideal Christmas presents for the eco-conscious. They include a set for children with wooden animal toothbrush holders, toothpaste and toothbrushes. For adults, you can choose up to six of their products, presented in recyclable packing with a personalised message. familiesonline.co.uk

Alexandra Meier is passionate about supporting growing businesses, and especially ‘mumpreneurs’. And the feedback from her customers is that they are too. She is the proud owner of Little Oak Clothing – an online boutique selling high quality children’s clothes and toys. The Little Oak Clothing range focuses on natural materials and beautiful items that last. Think organic personalised clothing, plastic-free bath toys, eco-friendly wooden games and much more. The current bestsellers are hand-knitted toys (including Christmas dinosaurs!) and hooded animal towels. Families especially loves the cotton canvas and bamboo teepees that are handmade in India by a charity that aims to economically empower women. Alexandra, who is based in Bucklebury near Reading, says: “We only work with brands that we love and work on the same values as us. All supply quality clothes, décor and gifts that can be handed down from generation to generation.” All orders come with a seasonal surprise. This Autumn, it’s gold coins from the Bucklebury fairies. “As children, my sister and I would enjoy adventures in the woods with our grandparents where coins would magically appear. We love bringing a little enchantment to your children’s day, and hopefully our gift will help you create your own magic.” littleoakclothing.co.uk

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

Families Thames Valley West • 9

Education news All boys Horris Hill has enjoyed an unbroken tradition of educating to the highest standards since its foundation 130 years ago. And I want to focus on the other aspect of Horris Hill that makes us rather diﬀerent from other schools: we are a school only for boys. Why? The straight answer is ‘Because it works’ and the evidence is the boys themselves. There is no doubt that every boy in a school such as Horris Hill achieves more in all areas. A less academic boy will have become a diligent pupil by Year 8; a less sporty one will be looking forward to his next match and a less creative one will be proud of his artwork and will be learning lines for the play. We know and understand boys. We celebrate and support them, and are not surprised by what they do. Boys are not held back by being negatively compared to girls (who, for several crucial years are quite a bit better at most things!), or because they shy away from activities which are seen as more for girls.

The experience of the boys here overturns a commonly held misconception: that an all-boys school will be a much more roughand-tumble place, nothing but loud voices and sport. In reality, an all-boys environment is wonderfully calm, ordered and relaxed. The boys can spread across the full spectrum of characters and, free from the need to look cool or be popular, will allow each other space to ﬁll their time in diﬀerent ways.

Also, we must not overlook the simple practicalities that running a school for just boys is simpler, and therefore, it can be more effective. All the staff’s efforts can be put in one direction, and all facilities are available to all the pupils, and the staffroom is more likely to provide very positive role models as the pupils become increasingly aware of being young men. Underlying all of this, however, is the more fundamental effect an all-boys prep school has on the children’s characters. At a crucial age when these characters are being formed, I believe that boys who have been educated in an allboys school stand out from their co-ed peers, that you can sense the difference that their schooling has made. It is tempting to say that they have more easily taken on the behaviours more often expected of girls at this age – sociability, concern for others, responsibility. Boys are often excused these qualities in co-educational settings

and, even if they are not, it is more difficult to instil them. Why is this? Let’s take just one example: imagine the beginning of a lesson. The pupils are filing into the classroom; seats are being taken and books being handed out before any formal instructions begins. Who is more engaged with the staff member at this time? Who is asking, or being asked, to help? It is much more likely to be the girls, while the boys slide in, hands in pockets gaining little social benefit from the presence of the adult. Co-education tends to push the boys together as a pack, and limits the behaviours and opportunities they have at school. Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect school and families must be aware of what they need to provide at home to complete the package. A boys-only school will not offer interaction with girls during the school day. For a boy with sisters, this is unlikely to be a serious deficiency and for others, it will be a family decision as to when this looks to be a disadvantage. As this is unlikely to be much before the age of 13, the choice of an allboys prep school is by far the better one; when by Year 8 your son has had such a great start, he will step forward confidently into any environment.

Giles Tollit has been Headmaster of Horris Hill, one of the UK’s leading prep schools, since 2011. He has taught in both all-boys and co-educational schools. He has three sons.

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10 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

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INDEPENDENT SCHOOL OPEN DAYS AUTUMN TERM 2019

State schools show their strengths

12.30pm – please book in advance: Thurs 7 Nov, Thurs 14 Nov (sixth form only) and Thurs 21 Nov. LEIGHTON PARK SCHOOL (independent co-ed day and boarding 11-18yrs), 0118 987 9608, leightonpark.com Week day open morning: Tues 5 Nov 9.15-11.15am Taster day for Year 6 students: Tues 12 Nov ST JOSEPH’S COLLEGE (independent co-ed day school 318yrs), 0118 966 1000, sjcr.org.uk Early years open morning: Tues 19 Nov 9.30-11am Senior open morning: Tues 19 Nov 10.30am-12pm QUEEN ANNE’S CAVERSHAM (independent girls day & boarding school 11-18yrs), 0118 918 7300, qas.org.uk Open morning: Fri 15 Nov 9.30-11.30am

State primary schools across our area will also be busy with open days this term. Here are just a few of those that are coming up.

BRACKNELL AND ASCOT LVS ASCOT (co-ed day and boarding, 4-18yrs), 01344 882 770, lvs.ascot-sch.uk Infant and junior school, senior school and sixth form: Sat 16 Nov OXFORDSHIRE SHIPLAKE COLLEGE (independent boarding and day school for boys 11-18 and girls 16-18) 0118 940 2455, shiplake.org.uk Whole school open morning: Sat 9 Nov 9.15am-12pm CRANFORD HOUSE (a nonselective independent day school for girls aged 3 to 16 and boys aged 3 to 11) 01491 651218 cranfordhouse.net Whole school open week: Mon-Fri 18-22 Nov 9.30am-3pm. READING READING BLUE COAT SCHOOL (independent boys day school 1118yrs), 0118 944 1005, rbcsc.org.uk School tours from 10.30am-

SOUTH OF READING EAGLE HOUSE SCHOOL (independent day and boarding school for boys and girls aged 3-13

in Sandhurst), 01344 772 134, eaglehouseschool.com Sat 9 and Sun 10 Nov. WEST BERKSHIRE ST ANDREWS PANGBOURNE (independent co-ed day & boarding school 3-13yrs), 0118 974 4726, standrewspangbourne.co.uk Stay and Play for families of Early Years aged children: Woodland Walk on Fri 15 Nov, 9-10.15am. WOKINGHAM MEADOWBROOK SCHOOL (independent co-ed primary school for ages 4 – 11), 01344 890869 meadowbrook.uk Meadowbrook School in Warfield offers tailor-made open days in the form of informal observation visits, where parents receive the undivided attention of the Head, watch real classes in action and chat naturally to children and staff. To book your visit call: 01344 890869 or email admin@meadowbrook.uk

ALDER GROVE CHURCH OF ENGLAND PRIMARY SCHOOL, Shinﬁeld, 07876 082 697, aldergroveprimary.org (opening Sept 2020) Thurs 7 Nov 9.30am, Wed 4 Dec 1pm

BEENHAM PRIMARY SCHOOL, 01189 713397, beenhamschool.co.uk Wed 13 Nov 9am-12pm EARLEY ST PETER’S CE PRIMARY SCHOOL, (nursery and primary) 0118 9261657, earley-stpeters.wokingham.sch.uk Wed 6 Nov, Thurs 5 Dec 9.15-10am.

WOODEN HILL PRIMARY SCHOOL, Bracknell, 01344 421117, woodenhill.bracknellforest.sch.uk Thurs 7 Nov, Mon 2 Dec 9.30-11.30am.

Elstree School to go fully co-ed Elstree School in Berkshire will become fully co-educational from September 2020. Announcing the decision, Headmaster Sid Inglis said: “I am delighted to be leading one of the most exciting transformations in the history of Elstree. It has become clear in recent years that both our current and prospective parents are looking for a family-focused school: one that oﬀers the same opportunities and ambitions for their daughters as it does for their sons.” The decision, taken by the Headmaster and his wife, is backed by Elstree’s Governing Body and familiesonline.co.uk

senior staﬀ, following several years of discussions and planning. As of September 2020, girls, as well as boys, will be able to receive an Elstree education from 3 to 13. It will be a gradual transition, to ensure class sizes stay small, staﬀ to pupil ratios remain low, and to retain Elstree’s intimate and personal community-centric/family atmosphere. While Elstree already accepts boys and girls from Nursery (aged 3) to Year 3 (aged 7), the transition to a fully co-educational environment will be staggered over a period of six years.

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel:07968 711937

Families Thames Valley West • 11

Writing the future... A Roald Dahl loving 10-year-old from Reading has published her debut novel. Inaaya Mahek, in year 6 at The Abbey School, spent nine months penning Cassy & the Bathroom People in her spare time. Set in Cancun, it follows the life of eight-year-old Cassy, who wakes up to discover her toy warrior has come alive. She shrinks, and follows him in to her bathroom where she embarks on the adventure of a lifetime in an amazing new world. The 200-page adventure story attracted the interest of publisher, Troubador, and hit the shelves in July. We spoke to Inaaya who lives in Shinfield with her parents and older sister. What inspired you to write Cassy and the Bathroom People? I’ve always loved reading and dreamt of being a writer. I noticed that there aren’t many children writing books for children. We visited Mexico and it inspired me to start my first book. I wondered what it would feel like to be tiny when people washed their hands and lakes of water appeared on the floor, or a towel suddenly dropped. It’s a happy ending but there are lots of exciting twists and turns along the way. How did the writing process work for you? I started with a plan – my plot for the whole story, and a breakdown for each of the 25 chapters. It kept

READING

changing regularly as I wrote though. I also sketched out my characters – their personalities, what they like and what they don’t. And I made up my own language like Roald Dahl so, for example, Qualla is a type of sport, and Cremianche is lunch. I wrote for about half an hour at a time after I’d ﬁnished my homework in the afternoons or at the weekends. The publishing process is really long too with formatting, editing, subediting and proof reading, but my favourite part was learning the secret language of editing. When you’re not writing, what else do you enjoy? Reading – I love it! Especially history books, and novels by Enid

littlelearnersuk.com 07474 368173 facebook.com/LLReading

Learn to write through play with exciting mark-making and messy play classes. Fun and engaging one-hour sessions for 0-5s.

Blyton, Liz Kessler and of course Roald Dahl. I also enjoy drawing and painting, and I created the pictures that have ended up as illustrations on my front cover. What’s your advice to other young authors-in-the-making? You’ve got to be dedicated, properly devoted and be prepared to write in your evenings, weekends and holidays. Also, have a plan – but you don’t have to stick to it. What next? I have four or ﬁve ideas for more books, but I have my exams this year, so I am going to wait until next summer to start. I’d love to be a famous author when I’m older but, if it ends up just being a hobby, I think I might work as a librarian so I’m surrounded by books!

Cassy and the Bathroom People is available to buy from Troubador: troubador.co.uk/bookshop/youngchildren/cassy-the-bathroom-people It would make a perfect Christmas present and comes highly recommended by our nine-year-old Families book reviewer. If you read the book, please do take the time to leave a review.

Mon, Thurs and Fri classes in Reading and Caversham, special events and birthday parties.

12 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

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Night time nappies to no nappies By Alicia Eaton

Every parent looks forward to being able to throw away night-time nappies and pull-ups for good. Try these simple steps towards reaching this milestone. Words work Explain to your child that soon they’ll be able to keep themselves dry all night and won’t need nappies/pull-ups. Putting the idea into your child’s mind triggers important thinking processes necessary to become dry at night. Regularly use phrases like: “Pretty soon, you’ll stop needing these at night-time….” Step by step Explain they will need to visit the bathroom instead. Walk through the steps they’ll take and practise this several times, telling them you will leave lights on so they can see their way easily. Deeper sleep Avoid leaving night-lights on in the bedroom. A dark bedroom promotes deeper sleep patterns.

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This might be enough to ensure your child sleeps through without needing the toilet. Plan ahead Put a date in the diary and let your child know when you will stop using nappies/pull-ups. These actually prevent children learning how to take control because their absorbency means your child’s skin doesn’t feel wet.

Drinks Avoid drinks one hour before bedtime, but don’t restrict fluids during the day as this could make your child constipated – a common cause of bedwetting. Think food Avoid fizzy drinks, sugary foods, milk and fruit such as strawberries, grapes and melon at night-time as these affect the bladder.

Accidents Use an absorbent bed mat in between two layers of sheets. If your child is wet, remove the top layer and use the dry bed underneath.

Avoid rewards and bribes They are a distraction and it will be doubly disappointing for your child if they’re not successful one night. Focus your child on learning how to stay dry at night.

Declutter Ensure the bedroom ﬂoor is clutter-free so your child can easily move around at night.

Keep track Track dry and wet nights during your training period so you can ﬁgure out what the cause of wet nights might be.

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

Alicia Eaton is a trained psychotherapist and author of Stop Bedwetting in Seven Days published by Practical Inspiration Publishing. For more information, visit stopbed-wetting-in-7-days.com/

Families Thames Valley West • 13

Festive family fun

You can’t beat the Thames Valley when it comes to family events over the Christmas period. You can take your pick from pantomimes, Christmas markets, grottos, carnivals and much more. We have packaged it all up into one parcel here for you to pick out what best suits your family. If there are tickets you need to book, do remember that many sell out quickly. SLEEPING BEAUTY, The Corn Exchange, Newbury Once upon a land not so far away, the beautiful Princess Aurora is tricked by an evil fairy and falls into a deep sleep. A hush falls over the castle as they wait for her true love to awaken her from her slumber… Step up Nanny and the dream team as they battle to save the day. Will they defeat the evil fairy? Will love conquer all? Written and directed by Plested and Brown (Clare Plested, Adam Brown and Amanda Wilsher), Sleeping Beauty is a fun-ﬁlled favourite for families with songs to sing along to, stunning dance routines plus plenty of magic and sparkle. Friday 29 November 2019 – Saturday 4 January 2020. Tickets £20 - £25 (Previews £15, Super Saver £16 - £20, Adult Nights £25). cornexchangenew.com

ALADDIN, South Hill Park, Bracknell Will Aladdin and his magical lamp defeat the forces of evil? Will the princess and Aladdin find true love? Will all of Aladdin’s wishes comes true? Join a host of colourful characters on a magical carpet ride to the Wilde Theatre this Christmas… South Hill Park’s critically acclaimed in-house pantomime is filled with magic and laughter and this year sees the welcome return of Bracknell’s favourite dame Brad Clapson along with the director behind Dick Whittington and His Cat (2018) and Beauty and the Beast (2017), Adam Stafford. The show runs from Friday 29 November 2019 – Saturday 4 January 2020. Earlybird ticket prices: £20, conc £18, family £18pp, Group 16+ £17pp. Book your tickets online southhillpark.org.uk or through the Box Office (01344 484 123).

SLEEPING BEAUTY, The Kenton Theatre, Henley-on-Thames There is nothing like a traditional British panto to get you in the holiday mood! This year, The Kenton Theatre is delighted to bring you the fun and frolics, the energy and dynamism, and the love and romance of Sleeping Beauty. Once upon a time in a land far, far away, the King and Queen organise a great feast to celebrate the birth of their daughter. In their eagerness, they forget to invite the Sorceress Maleficent who arrives to wreak her revenge, crying out: “The King’s daughter shall, in her eighteenth year, prick herself with a spindle and fall down dead!” Fortunately, there is a good fairy who she softens the curse: “The Princess will instead fall into a deep sleep, to be awakened only by true love’s kiss.” Shows run from Friday 13 to Saturday 28 December. Standard tickets (all include £1 theatre restoration levy per ticket): adult £22, senior / friend / keeper / student £20, child £16, family £69. boxoffice@kentontheatre.co.uk T: 01491 575698 ODDS FARM PARK CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR, High Wycombe Odds Farm Park has been sprinkled with even more Christmas magic and spectacular surprises, with two experiences to choose from. For the Christmas Spectacular Experience, take an enchanting, immersive stroll deep into the sparkling, wintry wonderland in search of Father Christmas in his grotto. Head on into the Elves’ Workshop to create your take-home gift and finally onto the Toy Shop to choose your present. New for 2019, in addition to Christmas Spectacular Experience Tickets, visitors can also book Tea and Story-Time with Father Christmas, where you are invited to join the big man for an enchanting group story-time, with a chance for every child to meet him too. Following this, all children and grown-ups will enjoy a festive tea together. Also included is a visit to the Elves’ Workshop to create a takehome gift, as well as a visit to the Elves’ Toyshop to choose a present from Father Christmas. The event runs from 30 November to 24 December and booking is essential. oddsfarm.co.uk ST GABRIEL’S PTA CHRISTMAS FAIR, Newbury St Gabriel’s PTA look forward to welcoming the local community to their annual Christmas Fair on Sunday 24th November, 10.30 am – 3pm. With over 40 stall holders bringing a delightful range of crafts, gifts and Christmas food as well as Santa’s Grotto, professional face painting, tombola, mulled wine, barbeque, festive games and activities amongst other things, there’s something for everybody! Parking is free and tickets can be purchased on the day.

14 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

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And the best of the rest… THE PRINCE & THE PAUPER, The

Watermill, near Newbury, 14 Nov – 4 Jan. watermill.org.uk WOKINGHAM WINTER CARNIVAL,

24 Nov. wintercarnival.org.uk CHRISTMAS GIFT AND CRAFT FAIR IN AID OF GUIDE DOGS,

The Chequers Newbury, 27 Nov. SHAW HOUSE CHRISTMAS FAIR & CHILDREN'S PARTIES,

Newbury, 1 Dec. westberkshireheritage.org/shawhouse A CHRISTMAS CAROL AT THE WOKINGHAM THEATRE, 4 – 14

Dec. wokinghamtheatre.org.uk CHRISTMAS MARKET at Peacock

Farm, Bracknell, 6 – 8 Dec. peacockfarm.co.uk CINDERELLA at The Hexagon, Reading, 7 Dec - 5 Jan. readingarts.com/hexagon CHRISTMAS SING-ALONG, with Greenham Trust, Newbury, 13 Dec. greenhamtrust.com BERZERK PRODUCTIONS, INTO THE WOODS, Woodley, 18-22 Dec. ticketsource.co.uk/berzerkproductions

BALLET THEATRE UK: Wizard of Oz

at Arlington Arts, near Newbury, 20 – 22 Dec. arlington-arts.com

... A bit further aﬁeld HYDE PARK’S WINTER WONDERLAND, London

The UK’s biggest outdoor ice rink, Zippos Christmas Circus, an ice kingdom, Paddington on Ice, a German-style market and fairground rides. Hyde Park Winter Wonderland really has got it all! It returns to London on 21 November at 4pm, and is open daily from then (10am – 10pm). New attractions including the world’s largest transportable Giant Wheel which stands at an impressive 70m tall, and Mr. Men & Little Miss – The Show. Entry is free but tickets can be purchased in advance for shows. hydeparkwinterwonderland.com ****************************** SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS FAIR, London. Have Christmas all wrapped up at the UK’s biggest high-end Christmas shopping event. Spirit of Christmas Fair returns to Olympia London from 4 - 10 November. Visitors can uncover the most exquisite gifts, with unrivalled and exciting new collections from 900 independent boutiques and designer makers.

There’s something for everyone: homeware, fashion, baby & child, decorations, health & beauty, food & drink and stunning jewellery. But it’s not just shopping on oﬀer, you can also pick up invaluable tips from the fantastic line-up of experts leading the interactive workshops.

After some retail therapy, shoppers can indulge in some of the world's most delicious Champagnes, and foodie's heaven in the food hall, bursting with delicious festive food and drink. spiritofchristmasfair.co.uk

A SOUTH HILL PARK PANTOMIME

TO BOOK VISIT SOUTHHILLPARK.ORG.UK BOX OFFICE 01344 484123

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Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

Families Thames Valley West • 15

What’s On Nov/Dec 2019

MORE ONLINE Spirit of Christmas Fair

NATIONAL TRUST BASILDON PARK, Lower Basildon, RG8 9NR, 0118 984 3040 23 Nov – 7 Jan VICTORIAN DECADENCE: CHRISTMAS AT BASILDON PARK Witness Basildon Park dripping in opulent Christmas décor and feel the glow of thousands of tree lights as we do Christmas the Victorian way. 23 Nov – 7 Jan CANDLELIGHT TOURS OF BASILDON PARK Every Fri in Dec (except 24) 6-8pm. Take a private tour of the house and see thousands of candles and tree lights glittering. Mulled wine and mince pies will be served. £20, book online. GREYS COURT, nr Henley-on-Thames. RG9 4PG, 01491 628529 23 Nov – 6 Jan CHRISTMAS: GIFT OF GIVING Celebrate the anniversary of the gift of Greys Court to the nation.

Weekdays in Dec CHRISTMAS DINNERS IN THE COWSHED Handmade Christmas dinner for you, your family & friends. Vegetarian option available. 12 & 1.30pm. Adult £19.95, child £10.95. Book online

16 Nov – 5 Jan CHRISTMAS AT WADDESDON Discover Christmas music-themed decorations in the house (charges apply). In the grounds, enjoy light displays and children’s craft activities. 11am-6pm

HUGHENDEN, nr High Wycombe, HP14 4LA, 01494 755573 29 Nov – 5 Jan A VINTAGE CHRISTMAS See the house decorated for a 1940s Christmas and enjoy a vintage theme around the grounds, a family trail and nostalgic treats in the café. 7, 8, 14, 15, 21, 22 Dec FATHER CHRISTMAS GROTTO Visit Santa in his 1940s inspired grotto and receive a Christmas gift. £9. Book online

THE VYNE, Near Basingstoke, RG24 9HL, 01256 883858 30 Nov –2 Jan A VICTORIAN CHRISTMAS AT THE VYNE 12-3pm. Enjoy a Victorian Christmas discovering Charles Dickens for the ﬁrst time in the house and help Scrooge discover his festive spirit with the gardens trail from 10am-4pm. £1 per trail sheet

WADDESDON MANOR, nr Aylesbury, HP18 0JH, 01296 820414 16 Nov – 22 Dec CHRISTMAS FAIR Browse over 80 hand-picked stalls selling unique gifts, decorations and festive foods. 11am-6pm

16 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

CLIVEDEN, Taplow, SL1 8NS, 01628 605069 30 Nov –23 Dec CHILDREN’S TRAIL A festive trail through the grounds, inspired by stories of the Astor family. 10.30am-2.30pm (weekends only). Child £5

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ONGOING EVENTS THE LOOK OUT DISCOVERY CENTRE, Nine Mile Ride, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 7QW, 01344 354 4000, bracknellforest.gov.uk/thelookoutdiscover ycentre There are over 90 handson science activities for children of all ages to enjoy at The Look Out Discovery Centre. You can launch a hydrogen rocket, play with boats in the indoor stream or build a house with your friends. Activities and exhibits are organised in ‘zones’ which correspond with what your child may be learning about in school: Forces & Movement, Body & Perception, Light & Colour, Woodland & Water and Build It where you can use the rubble chute, wheelbarrows, design a house or drive a dumper truck. Open daily from 10am-5pm. Until 10 Nov FIRE AND LIGHT SHOW This fun interactive show looks at sources of light as well as containing some exciting chemical experiments such as our Fire Tornado! Running at weekends and in Bracknell school holidays.

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What’s On Nov/Dec 2019 23 Nov – 12 Jan 2020 SLIME SHOW Why are slugs and snails so slimy? Can you really cut, bounce and stretch slime? This show is really repulsive! Running at weekends and in Bracknell school holidays. Weekly RHYMETIME, Newbury Library, The Wharf, Newbury RG14 5AU Tuesdays and Wednesdays 1111.20am. Free songs and rhymes for under threes and their parents or carers. Weekly TAYLOR TUGS UNDER 5S CLUB, River & Rowing Museum, Henleyon-Thames Wednesdays, term time, 1011.30am pre booked, call 01491 415605 to ﬁnd out more. 3-4pm drop in, £3 per child. Enjoy fun, interactive structured sessions for you and your little one, with craft, stories and songs. Themes and activities change weekly. Age 18 months – 5 yrs Weekly IMAGINE MORE, various locations in West Berkshire, imaginemore.io Storytelling & drama, and music & movement classes for under 5s. Classes run on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays in Curridge, Hungerford and Pangbourne. To book: 07774264607 Weekly RHYME TIME at Reading Central Library, Abbey Square, Reading, RG1 3BQ Every Monday (except bank holidays), Thursday and Saturday 10.30am-11am. No need to book, just drop in. FREE. Weekly LEGO CLUB at Winnersh Library, The Forest School, Robin Hood Lane, Winnersh, RG41 5ND, 0118 979 7519, wokingham.gov.uk/libraries Every Thursday during term time for children aged 5-10 years. 4-4.45pm, 50p. Places must be booked in advance. Weekly TODDLER CRAFT at Southcote Library, Southcote Lane, RG30 3BA, 0118 901 5109 A free craft session every Friday for the under 5’s from 11-11.30am familiesonline.co.uk

Monthly NATURE EXPLORERS at The Nature Discovery Centre, Muddy Lane, Lower Way, Thatcham, Berkshire, RG18 3FU, 01635 874 381, bbowt.org.uk On the third Saturday of every month, a hands-on wildlife club for 5-8 year olds. Each month follows a diﬀerent theme with hands-on wildlife activities, craft, stories and child-led play. 10am-12pm, £5. Booking essential Weekly BE RELAXED RELAX KIDS, Woodley, berelaxed.co.uk Children will learn valuable skills on an exciting and fun journey each week to help develop selfconﬁdence, build self-esteem, build self-awareness, manage stress and anxiety, relax and improve sleep and more. For children 5 - 10 years old. Wednesdays 4pm - 5pm. Weekly FAMILY LEARNING COURSES, Bracknell Library, 2 Town Square, Bracknell RG12 1AT Weekly course for 2-4 year olds in literacy and numeracy. Every Monday starting 23 September, 9.30-11am. £5 per session. To book or for further information email Bracknell.Library@bracknellforest.gov.uk or call 01344 423149

NOVEMBER

Nov and until 15 Dec THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF THE LADYBIRD BOOK ARTISTS, The Base Gallery, Greenham Business Park, RG19 6HN Step into the nostalgic world of Ladybird Books told through original artwork, books and objects. Advance tickets: full price £8 / concessions £7 / under 16’s £6 / under 5’s free 4 – 10 Nov SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS FAIR, Olympia London, spiritofchristmasfair.co.uk Have Christmas all wrapped up at the UK’s biggest high-end Christmas shopping event. Visitors can uncover the most exquisite gifts, with unrivalled and exciting new collections from 900 independent boutiques and designer makers. Also enjoy interactive workshops and the food hall, bursting with delicious festive food and drink.

9 Nov FAMILY YOGA, MINDFULNESS AND RELAXATION, Brilliant Beings, Tilehurst, brilliantbeings.co.uk Discover how simple, fun, mindful tools can bring peace and balance to body, mind and spirit in our hectic world. These sessions are for children 6-11yrs and their grownup/s, £8 per person. 1.30-2.30pm. To book, contact Sarah: sarah@brilliant-beings.co.uk, 07979 755667 10 and 16 Nov MUM 2 MUM NEARLY NEW MARKET, Newbury and Reading, mum2mummarket.co.uk Mum2mum market hold regular nearly new baby and children's markets at fantastic indoor venues. Admission is £2 on the door for buyers - kids free. 10 Nov Park House School, Newbury 2pm. 16 Nov Queen Anne’s School, Reading 2pm. 12 and 13 Nov DINOSAURS TODDLER DAYS, The Look Out Discovery Centre, Nine Mile Ride, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 7QW Toddler days run from 10am to 4pm and there is no need to book. Just turn up on the day. 14 Nov – 4 Jan THE PRINCE & THE PAUPER, The Watermill, near Newbury, watermill.org.uk An enchanting new adaptation of Mark Twain’s classic tale with heart-warming original music. A magical, musical tale of dreams, ambition and friendship. Suitable for age 4+. Box office: 01635 46044 14 and 21 Nov CHRISTMAS SHOPPING EVENT, River and Rowing Museum, Mill Meadows, Henley-on-Thames RG9 1BF Join this fabulously festive Christmas shopping event. The Museum shop will be full to the brim with delicious Christmas goodies, delightful stocking fillers and gifts with a difference. Mr Hobbs, Chiltern Valley Winery, Gorvett & Stone and Neves Bees will be there, to name but a few. You’ll be able to sample their products and source gifts which you won’t find on the high street. 5-7pm.

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23 Nov ADVENT FAYRE HOSTED BY ALDER BRIDGE SCHOOL, Mill Lane, Padworth, RG7 4JU. alderbridge.org.uk Alder Bridge Steiner Waldorf School will be hosting this year's Advent Fayre with plenty to do for the children including candle dipping, puppet shows, a children's market as well as craft stalls, live music and a raffle. Free entry. 23 Nov CHRISTMAS FAIR, Kidmore End Primary School, Chalkhouse Green Road, Kidmore End, Reading, RG4 9AU Attractions include Santa's Grotto, bouncy castle, games & craft activities, mince pies, mulled wine, hot drinks, cakes, silent auction, raffle and tombola. Entry is £2 per adult in advance or £2.50 on the door, children are free. 12 - 3pm. 23 Nov - 19 Jan THE SNOWMAN AND THE SNOWDOG, River and Rowing Museum, Mill Meadows, Henley-on-Thames, RG9 1BF Visit our enchanting exhibition, featuring over 40 original illustrations from the film, take a Snowman selfie and get a fascinating insight into the creative process that brought The Snowman back to life for a new generation of viewers. 24 Nov ST GABRIEL’S PTA CHRISTMAS FAIR, Sandleford Priory, Newtown Rd, Newtown, Greenham, Newbury RG20 9BD With over 40 stall holders bringing a delightful range of crafts, gifts and Christmas food as well as Santa’s Grotto, professional face painting, tombola, mulled wine, barbeque, festive games and activities amongst other things, there’s something for everybody! Parking is free and tickets can be purchased on the day. 10.30am3pm 24 Nov WOKINGHAM WINTER CARNIVAL, wintercarnival.org.uk A free event with dancing, street entertainers, music, a fun fair, Christmas tree lights and carols, as well as Santa in his grotto. Stalls galore selling food, drink, sweets and gifts. 2019 is the 50th anniversary of the moon walk, so this year’s theme is ‘A Space Adventure’.

Families Thames Valley West • 17

What’s On Nov/Dec 2019

27 Nov CHRISTMAS GIFT AND CRAFT FAIR IN AID OF GUIDE DOGS, The Chequers, 6-8 Oxford Street, Newbury, Berkshire Large selection of handmade craft items, Christmas decorations and gifts for sale. £2 entrance includes a free glass of mulled wine. 29 Nov – 4 Jan SLEEPING BEAUTY, The Corn Exchange, Market Place, Newbury, RG14 5BD, 0845 521 8218, cornexchangenew.com Sleeping Beauty is a fun-ﬁlled favourite for families with songs to sing along to, stunning dance routines plus plenty of magic and sparkle. Tickets £20 - £25 (previews £15, super saver £16 £20, adult nights £25).

29 Nov – 4 Jan ALADDIN, South Hill Park, Wilde Theatre, South Hill Park, Ringmead, RG12 7PA, southhillpark.org.uk Will Aladdin and his magical lamp defeat the forces of evil? Will the princess and Aladdin ﬁnd true love? Will all of Aladdin’s wishes comes true? Join a host of colourful characters on a magical carpet ride to the Wilde Theatre this Christmas. South Hill Park’s critically acclaimed in-house pantomime is ﬁlled with magic and laughter. Book tickets online or 01344 484 123. 30 Nov – 24 Dec ODDS FARM PARK CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR, High Wycombe, Bucks, HP10 0LX, oddsfarm.co.uk Odds Farm Park has been sprinkled with even more Christmas magic and spectacular surprises, with two experiences to choose from: The Christmas Spectacular Experience and Tea and Story-Time with Father Christmas. Booking is essential.

OPEN

10am - 5pm every day

FAMTVWSEPT19

Nine Mile Ride, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 7QW

5 Dec QUIZ NIGHT HOSTED BY ALDER BRIDGE SCHOOL, Douai Cricket Pavilion, Woolhampton, RG7 5TG, alderbridge.org.uk Charity quiz night. Tickets £11 per person, includes food and quiz. Contact Kate to bookkate.holliday@alderbridge.org.uk 0118 971 4471

Fairy Godmother and loyal friend Buttons be able to thwart their wicked plans? Box Oﬃce: 0118 960 6060. 9 and 10 Dec SPACE TODDLER DAYS, The Look Out Discovery Centre, Nine Mile Ride, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 7QW Toddler days run from 10am to 4pm and there is no need to book. Just turn up on the day. 13 Dec NEWBURY CHRISTMAS SINGALONG, Market Place, Newbury At the Greenham Trust and Visit Newbury’s free community event, everyone is invited to sing along to their Christmas favourites and get into the festive spirit. Featuring school choirs, the Cromwell Singers and Cold Ash Brass band, the event line-up concludes with a special performance from the UK’s leading Take That tribute act. Register your interest in attending the free event – from 6-8pm – at greenhamtrust.com 13 – 28 Dec SLEEPING BEAUTY, The Kenton Theatre, 19 New Street, Henley-on-Thames RG9 2BP There is nothing like a traditional British panto to get you in the holiday mood! This year, The Kenton Theatre is delighted to bring you the fun and frolics, the energy and dynamism, and the love and romance of Sleeping Beauty. Standard tickets (all include £1

Bring this voucher to get one free child with one full paying adult*.

A great family day out whatever the weather! Be Amazed...

1 Dec SHAW HOUSE CHRISTMAS FAIR & CHILDREN'S PARTIES. Shaw House, Church Road, Newbury , Berkshire, RG14 2DR westberkshireheritage.org/shawhouse Over 60 local crafters, bakers, artists and photogaphers at the Shaw House Christmas Fair. With mulled wine, hot food and Living Nativity with Miller’s Ark Animals. 11am – 4pm, £1 adults, children free. Children's parties feature Mr Muddles the magician. There will also be a special visit from Father Christmas and all children will receive a present. £5 per child.

7 Dec – 5 Jan CINDERELLA, The Hexagon, Queens Walk, Berkshire, Reading, Reading RG1 7UA, readingarts.com/hexagon The Hexagon and Imagine Theatre present Cinderella, starring Cbeebies’ Justin Fletcher and Paul Morse. Will the Wicked Stepsisters succeed in ruining Cinderella's dreams of happiness or will her

The Look Out Discovery Centre

• Science and Discovery Fun • Over 90 hands-on activities

DECEMBER

Tel: 01344 354400 www.facebook.com/thelookoutdiscovery

18 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

FAMTVWSEPT19

25 Nov – 15 Dec CHRISTMAS AT STONOR, Stonor Park, Henley-on-Thames, RG9 6HF, stonor.com See Stonor House decorated for Christmas by the Stonor Family. Delicious seasonal fare served in the Stonor Pantry and the Gift Shop will be overﬂowing with goodies for all the family.

Valid until 31/12/19 *Terms and conditions apply. Nine Mile Ride, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 7QW

Tel: 01344 354400 www.facebook.com/thelookoutdiscovery

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What’s On Nov/Dec 2019 theatre restoration levy per ticket): adult £22, senior / friend / keeper / student £20, child £16, family £69. Special prices for ﬁrst night and for the relaxed performance. boxoﬃce@kentontheatre.co.uk T: 01491 575698 15 Dec CHRISTMAS WITH THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF, Shaw House, Church Road, Newbury, Berkshire, RG14 2DR A festive twist on the classic story of the three hungry goats and a grumpy old troll with beautifully crafted puppets, live accordion music, storytelling and lots of joining in. Suitable for 3-6 year olds but older and younger children are welcome. 11am & 1pm. Adults £9, Children £7 (under 3s free). 15 Dec FESTIVAL OF LIGHT: LANTERN PROCESSION, Northbrook Street, Newbury Join the annual Lantern Procession – a stunning winter event that brings the community together to celebrate the festive season. Meet from 4pm to take part, or 4.30pm to watch. 18 – 22 Dec INTO THE WOODS, Oakwood Centre, Headley Road, Woodley, ticketsource.co.uk/berzerkproduct ions Berzerk Productions presents Stephen Sondheim’s and James Lapine’s cockeyed fairy-tale, which comes to life in this adaptation of their ground-breaking, Tony

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Award-winning musical. It features all of your favourite characters – Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Jack (and his beanstalk) and the Witch in this lyrically rich retelling of classic Brothers Grimm fables. Into the Woods showcases a solid Berzerk ensemble of young, local talent. Wednesday, Thursday & Friday 7.30pm, Saturday & Sunday 2pm and 5pm. Adults £13.75, children/concessions £11.75, family ticket £47. 20 – 22 Dec BALLET THEATRE UK: WIZARD OF OZ, Arlington Arts Centre, Mary Hare, Newbury RG14 3BQ 01635 244246, arlington-arts.com Join Ballet Theatre UK as we follow the yellow brick road and discover all the wonders of Oz. The Wizard of Oz is a two act, fulllength, ballet adaptation of the iconic tale by L. Frank Baum, told through the magic of classical dance. This production is family friendly and is the perfect way to introduce children to the classical ballet. Family: £65, full price: £19, child: £17.

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Families Thames Valley West • 19

Clubs and classes directory Regular clubs, classes and out of school activities give your child a chance to shine and for you to have fun together, and there really is plenty of variety to choose from. Here are a few of our favourites, for babies, toddlers and school-aged children. For more clubs and classes in your area, check out familiesonline.co.uk Developmental classes

Portuguese Language Club – offering tuition to help you talk fluently in Portuguese, but we don’t stop there. For us, it’s all about you and ensuring that you enjoy your stay with us whilst also making sure that your Portuguese language skills are vastly improved. We offer a range of services to suit all needs; including one-to-one and group lessons, in-school clubs, holiday Portuguese and GSCE and A Level tuition. Based in Tilehurst, Berkshire. Contact Maria on 07427630331, 0118 942 4591, info@portugueselanguageclub.co.uk, portugueselanguageclub.co.uk

Gym, sport and swimming

Shichida UK Master Builders Club LEGO® Workshops for Children

brain-training programme, designed to bring out the genius in every child.

weekend and school holiday workshops, birthday parties and primary school events are designed to provide children with an exciting and captivating experience.

Activities are aimed at 0-6 year olds, and improve concentration, memory skills, general knowledge, musical ability and more. Hour-long classes take place in Reading once a week, with parents accompanying their children.

Fun workshops start with a short story which sets the theme and building challenges. Then the creativity begins as Master Builders have access to 1000’s of LEGO® bricks which have been sorted into colour, size and type.

For more information and to book: shichidauk.com, contact@shichidauk.com, 07774 523660

If you are passionate about providing engaging and stimulating play opportunities that nurture your child's mind, then Master Builders Club is for you! To book your LEGO® fan a place or to ﬁnd out more about all the events, please go to: masterbuildersclub.co.uk BilinguaSing Wokingham – award-winning bilingual sensory music & movement classes with Spanish or French singing for babies (from 1 month), toddlers and pre-school children. BilinguaSing is a unique class for parents and little ones to learn Spanish or French together in a fun and engaging way. Familiar nursery rhymes and songs are learned in both English and Spanish or French and are accompanied by a variety of fun movements and lovely props. Classes suitable for complete beginners to native speakers in Wokingham, Winnersh, Bracknell & surrounding areas. First taster class is FREE! Private sessions also available in nurseries, pre-schools and primary schools to support the EYFS, KS1 and KS2 learning objectives. Call Kate on 07810 751645, kate@bilinguasing.com, bilinguasing.com

didi rugby – devised to get young children (aged 18 months to six years) active, and to teach them new skills while having fun in a safe environment. Classes running in various venues across West Berkshire and Reading. Contact donna.clark@didirugby.com to book a free taster session near you. didirugby.com Bulmershe Gymnastics Club – based at a purpose-built gym in Woodley, run gymnastics classes for all ages including Leap Frogs for walkers to ﬁve years lead by qualiﬁed coaches. bulmershegymnastics.co.uk GR Swimming Schools – children’s swimming lessons from 3yrs in Newbury, Thatcham, & Pangbourne. Places for non-swimmers through to advanced academy levels. Also holiday crash courses in swimming, diving and coming soon SYNCHRO!! Uniquely structured lessons, following Swim England Award Scheme. 01635 34862 swimlessons.co.uk SwimKidz - runs lessons at locations across the Thames Valley. Its innovative programme begins with babies from three months to toddlers, all the way through to pre-competitive swimming by a child’s tenth birthday. The aim is to provide fun and progressive lessons in a small group environment. Contact Caroline Bairstow, 0750 005 6623 swimkidz.co.uk

Music & dance

Little Learners Reading a unique and exciting mark-making class, designed to help babies, toddlers and preschoolers learn to write through play. Fun and engaging one-hour sessions develop pre-writing motor skills, as well physical and social skills. Each session includes messy play, paint, play dough, sand, scribbling, movement and dance – all in a safe environment. Term-time sessions run in Reading and Caversham on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and there are also special events in the school holidays. Little Learners also oﬀers birthday parties. More info at littlelearnersuk.com or call Jalpa on 07474 368173.

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Monkey Music – fun music classes from 3months-4yrs with action songs and rhymes, music and movement, percussion instruments and musical games. Classes in Newbury, Thatcham, Mortimer, Henley and Upper Basildon. 01635 860 959, monkeymusic.co.uk diddi dance - funky pre-school dance classes for girls and boys. Award winning, high energy sessions explore 16 different styles set to original, age-appropriate music. Classes improve gross motor skills, rhythm, co-ordination, confidence, creativity and social skills with dancing games, fun exercises, action songs and a host of props. Lessons are aligned to the EYFS and are structured yet relaxed. Nursery workshops and parties too! Free trial available. Classes run every day throughout Reading & Wokingham. Call Andrea on 07719 878789, or email andrea.bickford@diddidance.com Street Feet Dance® - helps children aged 3-11 to get dramatically more confident through Street Dance in Reading. Book a 2 week free trial in Caversham, Tilehurst, Woodley or Woosehill now at streetfeetdance.co.uk and discover how we have helped over 1,000 children raise their self-esteem and develop their self-belief through dance.

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StageAbility – after-school drama classes for kids who love to ACT! Reading, Burghﬁeld, Tilehurst, Earley and Wokingham. High-energy classes mean that students never get bored, can't wait to get to class and develop conﬁdence, creativity and focus. Pay-As-YouGo option for infants and free trial class. Full listing of classes at: stageability.class4kids.co.uk , jackie@berkshire.stageability.co.uk M: 07721 565898, T: 0118 933 3791

The Dance Zone a fun and friendly dance school that oﬀers Ballroom, Latin American, Freestyle and Street dance classes for adults and children from the age of 3 in the Wokingham and Winnersh areas. thedancezone.co.uk, info@thedancezone.co.uk, 07789 175439.

individual and group classes run by Alexander Clarke, B.Mus (Hons), M.A. Inspiring students, fulfilling aspirations. Learn guitar in your school or home, Inspire Guitar School is a Berkshire based music service that offers tuition in Acoustic, Classical, Electric, Bass and Ukelele. The benefits of learning to play a musical instrument cannot be overstated. Learning to play helps with confidence, mindfulness and creativity. Flexible style to suit the student and fulfil their aspirations. 0118 9375 9185, 07414 675 858, inspireguitar.co.uk, alex@inspireguitar.co.uk

Arts in Motion School of Dance EXCITING and energetic BALLET, MODERN and TAP classes for children from 2 ½ years, held at Chieveley Village Hall and Frilsham Clubroom, West Berkshire. Classes are FUN, challenging and build conﬁdence; we follow the ISTD Syllabus and support students through exams. Holiday workshops are also available. artsinmotiondance.co.uk

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Imagine More storytelling & drama and music & movement classes for under 5s, plus birthday parties, workshops, as well as nursery and preschool sessions. Imagine More focuses on babies to preschool children. The unique music & movement class comes alive as you explore rhythm and creative dance with instruments, props, and engaging, energetic songs!

Arts, crafts & cookery Artspiration School of Drawing and Painting – oﬀering fun, imaginative and instructional lessons in drawing and painting to school-aged children in Maidenhead, Wokingham and Reading. Artspiration will inspire, motivate, guide and give your budding artists the skills required to express themselves better visually. 01628 634 418, artspiration.co.uk

Classes run on Thursdays in Curridge 11.15am-12pm. Each highly interactive storytelling & drama class is based around a themed story using multisensory props, drama, dance, musical instruments, songs, games and activities. Tuesdays @ St Andrews School, Pangbourne 10.3011.15am, Wednesdays in Curridge 9.3010.15am, and Thursdays @ Cobbs Play Barn 9.30-10.15am. To book: 07774264607 imaginemore.io

Drama & theatre arts Steppin Out Stars of Tomorrow – fun, energetic classes for 3½ to 18yrs. Dance, drama and singing, tap, street dance, pop styles, musical theatre. Regular classes in Wargrave, Wokingham and Woodley, plus summer classes. Call Shelley on 07970 034 488, or email shelley@steppinoutstars.co.uk, steppinoutstars.co.uk Stagecoach Theatre Arts School – dance, drama and singing classes for 4-18 years that build confidence and teach skills. Early Years classes for 4-6 years designed to introduce young children to the performing arts. Local branches in Wokingham, Henley, Reading, Bracknell, Marlow and Newbury. stagecoach.co.uk Perform – confidence building fun for 4-12s. A unique mix of drama, dance and singing specially formulated to bring out every child's true potential. Classes are kept small to ensure lots of individual attention. Perform offer noobligation FREE trial sessions. Venues: Reading, Twyford, Wokingham, Goring and Crowthorne T: 020 7255 9120 / enquiries@perform.org.uk perform.org.uk Berzerk Productions – LAMDA examination classes, unique Drama Factory workshops, musical theatre and production opportunities for 6-19 years in Tilehurst, Woodley, Spencers Wood, Caversham, Reading, Pangbourne and Woodcote. Trial class free. 07863 734 830, berzerkproductions.com

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

Mrs Bun the Baker award-winning, hands-on cookery classes for those aged 2 years and up. Mrs Bun the Baker combines her knowledge and love of food with her teaching and baking skills, cooking up and creating magical moments. Classes are held at the Cholsey Pavilion, South Oxfordshire, on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Mondays for toddlers. Monday sessions also for older Buns 6+, 11+ and 14+ perfect for DoE skills section. Call Angie on 07870 727007 or email info@mrsbunthebaker.net Details correct at time of going to press, October 2019

Families Thames Valley West • 21

Clubs and classes news Stagecoach stars go pro The students of Stagecoach Henley, High Wycombe and Marlow are enjoying their share of the limelight, with performances in professional shows and a busy Christmas ahead. A choir of some 64 children – ranging in age from 9 to 13 – made their debut at the Wycombe Swan in Joseph & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. This Christmas, a number of

Stagecoach stars have been awarded roles in pantomimes and other festive events, such as the Christmas lights switch on. Next stop is the West End, with 18 students performing a medley set at a national event in Shaftesbury Avenue in April 2020. Principal of Stagecoach Henley, High Wycombe and Marlow, Clare Gosling, says: “I am so proud of

each and every student as they grow in conﬁdence through our programme. Securing a role on stage really is the icing on the cake and just shows what can be achieved when you work hard and dream big!” Bookings are now open for Christmas and Easter holiday workshops: https://www.stagecoach.co.uk/hig hwycombe

Giving Berkshire kids confidence Street Feet Dance® is celebrating ten years of helping children to get dramatically more confident through dance! 'Mini Feet' (ages 3-5) was created in 2009 especially for parents struggling to find an alternative to Ballet for under 5s where they could burn some energy to up-to-date music and come home to show off their cool new moves. ''Lil' Street Feet' (ages 6-11) was created for parents who wanted a noncompetitive and inclusive Street Dance class where their children could mix with children of different ages, learn to Street dance and have fun in a friendly environment. Together with their Primary Dance Partnership service to schools, they have helped more than 1,000 Berkshire children to raise their self-esteem through dance via extra-curricular clubs and curricular dance lessons during PE.

Help them celebrate their 10th anniversary with a FREE 2 week 'Get More Confident' Street Dance trial for your child. streetfeetdance.co.uk / facebook.com/streetfeetdance

Little Learners have a whole lot of fun A unique mark-making and messy play class is celebrating the end of a successful first year. Jalpa Suthar took over the Reading franchise of the multi award-winning Little Learners UK six months ago, and the business is going from strength to strength. Weekly classes in Caversham and Reading have now been joined by special events in the school holidays and children’s birthday parties. Jalpa is even looking at new venues and to recruit more class leaders. Little Learners is designed to help babies, toddlers and preschoolers learn to write through play. Fun and engaging one-hour sessions develop pre-writing motor skills, as well physical and social skills. Each session includes messy play, paint, play dough, sand, scribbling, movement and dance – all in a safe and fun environment. Jalpa says: “It’s been a great first year. I’ve enjoyed meeting some lovely families and seeing the delight on the children’s faces as they get stuck into our messy fun and make their mark. The course has been designed by a qualified teacher, building learning and the development of early writing skills into every activity.”

TERM & HOLIDAY COURSES • BOOKING NOW for classes in Compton Thatcham & Pangbourne

• Max of 6 children per class • Non swimmers, improvers & advanced

levels from 31⁄2 years • Friendly instructors - qualified, insured & DBS checked • 3 lovely locations - car parking & changing facilities • Independent family run swim school not a franchise Every child is different - every child is equal

BOOK NOW! PLACES LIMITED!

email: membership@bulmershegymnastics.co.uk

jo@swimlessons.co.uk | www.swimlessons.co.uk

22 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

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Anxious parents, anxious children? By Caroline Penney Parents often approach me with a common worry – they suﬀer from anxiety and are scared that they will pass this on to their child.

here are three prevalent causes of anxiety. Firstly, environmental stress. Maybe you don’t have your mother or close family in physical proximity, or possibly you have no peer support network around you because you worked full time and are now at home with your child. Or you may be worried about your living or financial circumstances or your relationship with your partner. Secondly, if your parents or grandparents were anxious or suffered trauma and therefore experienced the world as a frightening place, this can become the blueprint through generations. This type of anxiety can be a complex combination of genetic factors and parenting patterns of behaviour passed on from parent to child. It can become our own blueprint unless we are able to examine it and unpick the unhelpful patterns that have been passed down to us. Thirdly, the circumstances under which you became a parent. For example, if your child was born after an earlier miscarriage or still birth or if you had to go through IVF or a traumatic birth. The feelings of wanting to protect your child from everything can be overwhelming. So how do you recognise if your anxiety is affecting your child? Parents who are anxious may become over protective; they view the world as a scary place and they don’t want their children to take risks. A parent may not allow their daughter to go outside to play if it is raining. Or they might accompany their child to school well past the time when most children are able to walk alone. The anxious parent may unwittingly undermine their child’s confidence by saying things like: “it might be scary if you try to get into the school play” or “you might fail if you go for a football trial.” The child may start to feel they cannot try out different experiences in case they are not successful and that they are not able to fully embrace what the world has to offer. They may become scared of life, have negative thoughts and feelings and struggle with decisions. Friendships may be hard because their parents are over-protective or over-involved. In order to stop passing on your anxiety to

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your child, think about ways to soothe yourself. It may useful to get some counselling so you can explore the triggers that cause your stress, and helpful ways of managing it. Some of the strategies you learn in therapy could be imparted to your child. For instance, if you are working on how to think rationally when under stress you could say to your child: “I understand you are worried about going to Nathan’s party, but what are the chances that something scary is actually going to happen?” Talk to friends. The more you can be open and honest and feel supported, the more able you will be to manage anxiety. Get medication if necessary and make a plan of how to manage when you feel very anxious e.g. having a bath, going for a short walk or breathing deeply. Helping your child manage anxiety is the other important skill. You may have to push yourself to allow your child to do adventurous activities and take sensible risks. It is inevitable that they will get cuts and bruises but this is how they build up resilience. Encourage your child to be as autonomous as possible. They will make mistakes but this is how they learn. Try to stay calm in front of your child even as you are working on containing your own anxiety. Consider the words you use, your expression and the intensity of emotions you express, because children are like sponges: they take cues from your behaviour about how to cope with new or uncertain situations. Being aware of these issues and ways of managing anxiety can help enormously in ensuring your child grows up conﬁdent and happy.

Caroline Penney is a family therapist and author of The Parenting Toolkit: Simple Steps to Happy and Confident Children, which contains more ways of understanding and managing stress.

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

Cerys Keneally is the owner of Street Feet Dance®, which helps children to feel less shy, make new friends and dramatically increase their confidence. She says: “It's really important to give children regular opportunities to gently come out of their comfort zones. At Street Feet, we refer to these as 'feel good challenges' and the purpose is to help children develop their self-belief when trying something new for the first time. In class, this could be anything from practising their own freestyle moves to performing to parents for the first time, but we also advocate parents setting their children non-dance related challenges at home too. It's part of our Dance Confidence Formula where we encourage children to: get moving regularly; socialise outside of school; express themselves creatively; take part in feel good challenges; and celebrate their achievements." Street Feet Dance® runs classes for children aged 3-11 in Reading: streetfeetdance.co.uk facebook.com/streetfeetdance

Families Thames Valley West • 23

Choosing a musical instrument for your child By Amy Fowler Learning a musical instrument can inspire a lifelong love for music as well as helping children through a range of artistic and academic challenges. Many parents want to ensure that their children enjoy music and engage in learning, but selecting the right instrument can seem like an impossible choice.

our first step in deciding which instrument to select for your child should be asking your child what instrument they would like to play. With so much choice, how your child feels about an instrument will depend on their personality and tastes. It sounds obvious but a child is more likely to be dedicated to progressing with a musical instrument they selected and enjoy playing, rather than one they were told to play. Child engagement is key to future musical success and for this to be an informed decision your child will need to interact with all the possibilities. Providing exposure to a whole range of instruments and musical styles will help instrument selection. As well as live performances, a great way to expose children to different orchestral instruments is to play them children’s pieces such as: Prokofiev’s

Peter and the Wolf; Carnival of the Animals by Saint-Saens; or Benjamin Britten’s A Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra. By asking your child about their instrument group preference: brass, percussion, strings, you can understand the kind of sounds they prefer. This will, in turn, help inform the type of instrument you select for your child. Trying different instruments is a great idea and music shops often employ musicians who can supervise your child to do this. This will give your child the chance to understand how an instrument feels and sounds. A number of music hubs in the UK also provide a hire service so you can try different instruments out before you buy. This is a great way for children to figure out which instrument works best for them. As well as understanding your child’s

24 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

preferences, another thing to consider is your child’s age. Younger children may struggle with the physicality required of woodwind or brass instruments and may be too small for instruments such as the double bass. If your child has to struggle physically to play an instrument, even if they enjoy the sound, they will be less likely to enjoy playing that instrument. Violins are extremely popular first instruments because their physicality works well for smaller children but with so much choice, the ideal is to try a range of instruments before making a decision and a purchase. There is a variety of instruments available and if you want to encourage your child to learn something a little different, there are a number of ‘endangered’ instruments, for which musicians are becoming quite rare. They include the Viola and Double Bass in the string family; the French Horn and Tuba in the brass family; and the Bassoon and Oboe in the woodwind family. There are some practicalities to think about when playing an instrument. Be aware that you will need an instrument that your child can use for regular practice. There are ways to reduce the cost and high quality plastic versions of many brass and woodwind instruments are available with considerably smaller price tags. As well as the financial implications of buying an instrument, there is also a range of environmental factors to consider. An acoustic piano (or even full size digital keyboard), for example, needs quite a bit of space. Pianos must also be kept away from radiators and ideally placed on a ground floor room with an even temperature. Violins grow with your child so more than one will be required if your child progresses, and harps need a large car to transport them around! Selecting the right instrument for your child can be a daunting task but by spending a bit of time matching your child with their instrument you can help encourage a lifelong love for, and progression in, music. Amy Fowler works for the ABRSM, the world’s leading provider of music exams and an organisation which has spent 130 years inspiring the musical achievement of young people. For more information, visit gb.abrsm.org

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Does co-parenting work? Co-parenting means sharing the care of children between you, in a situation where you are living separately, generally after a divorce or similar, with each of you being responsible for your child for half of the week or alternate weeks.

o-parenting doesn't work for everyone. It can put some additional practical stresses on both parents but it can provide stability and continuity for the children involved. Co-parenting is successful when both parents can co-operate suﬃciently to create a routine that works for their child. Living in close proximity to each other is desirable so that there isn’t too much travel time involved for any of you. It also means that each of you can continue to share responsibility for attending things like doctor’s appointments, school concerts, sports days and parents’ evenings.

Excitement Children are generally happy to see their parent when handover comes. Everything feels fresh and new again! During breaks from each other, arguments and tensions between you and your child are often forgotten.

Some ground rules are essential, such as:

Lack of stability Can a child really feel stable when they are moving between two homes? Whilst being coparented may not oﬀer some children what they need, many co-parents have well-balanced, happy, caring and loving children, for whom the arrangement clearly works.

• No arguing in front of the children • Remaining united in your co-parenting • Making parenting decisions together The obvious advantage of co-parenting is that you both get to spend equal time with your child and, in so doing, create a familiar routine in which he or she has suﬃcient access to both parents. There can be other advantages too: Equal input Your child has equal input from both parents and will reap the beneﬁts; for example, one parent assisting with homework one week and the other parent the following week. Time out Each parent has time out for themselves. This time can be used to re-charge and re-energise. Whilst you may not know what to do with this time initially and even feel guilty about having it, it is a real positive for your child. With more fuel in the tank you can spend better quality time together. Extended family As your child will spend equal time with both of you, they have a better opportunity to maintain close relationships with grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins on both sides of the family, as well as building relationships with step and half siblings. familiesonline.co.uk

Two of everything Two bedrooms, two sets of belongings, two sets of pets! And, maybe even two birthdays and two Christmasses! It’s not hard to see why this might be a big selling point for some children… Of course, as with most arrangements, there are also disadvantages:

Logistics Endless numbers of carrier bags, overnight bags, tote bags and rucksacks will travel backwards and forwards between your child’s two homes. So things will get lost or turn up in the opposite place to where they are needed. But with good organisation, this can be managed to ensure your child has with them what they want when they need it. Sense of loss You may feel a sense of loss when your child isn’t with you. This is almost inevitable when you’ve been used to being a full time parent. But in time you will adjust to the rhythm of coparenting and, in the interim, you can take comfort in the fact that your child has gone happily oﬀ to join their other parent. Co-parenting should only be embarked upon if both parents are communicating well and feel able to put your child’s wellbeing above your feelings towards each other. It’s essential to do what is in the best interest of your child and be united in giving them the support that they deserve, regardless of whether you, as their parents, are together or not.

Email: editor@familiestvw.co.uk • Tel: 07968 711937

Legal 500 Recommended Lawyer, Rita Gupta, shares her legal viewpoint: “Co-parenting is always a balance between a dependable framework and being flexible, based on the child’s needs, not yours. Even if your separation is amicable and everyone co-operates fully, your children’s needs as individuals come first. This may seem harsh to you as a parent, but a family court’s priority when making child arrangement orders will always be the welfare of the child. Many parents think children can be ‘shared’ 50/50, almost like a possession. In reality 50/50 parenting isn’t suitable for every child. What’s more, the parenting needs of your children evolve as they grow, so what suited an eight-year-old football fan no longer suits a fourteen-year-old keen to socialise with friends. It may sound odd for me to recommend a book at this point, but for a fantastic view of co-parenting through a child’s eyes, read Jacqueline Wilson’s The Suitcase Kid. If co-parenting isn’t working out, it can help to talk to a legal professional to assess your options, including services such as mediation.” Rita Gupta is a Director at LGFL Ltd, a boutique law firm in Reading specialising in family law. Rita is offering qualifying readers of Families Thames Valley West a free 30-minute consultation to discuss any family law issue. lgfamilylawyers.co.uk/free-30-minuteconsultation/

Families Thames Valley West • 25

Meet the real-life Willie Wonka!

Willie Harcourt-Cooze is an entrepreneur who may have the best job in the world, running his own chocolate making company here in the UK. He became well known after starring in Channel 4’s fly-on-the-wall documentary Willie’s Wonky Chocolate Factory. Claire Winter talks to him about his life as a chocolate aficionado. You found fame on the Channel 4 programme Willie’s Wonky Chocolate Factory. Where did your love of chocolate begin? On a cocoa farm in Venezuela, I was given pure cacao to drink, just like the hot chocolate I make today with my 100% cylinders. This hot chocolate energised me and lifted my mood so much that right there and then I decided that it should be made available to everyone. Unlike coffee, cacao gives a slow release of energy that also releases endorphins. There is no slump, such as the one you get when drinking coffee or eating sugar. It’s purely natural, and this is also the reason I only use 100% natural ingredients in my chocolate. I believe all nutrition should come from nature. Of course, it also tastes much better. You have lived in lots of different countries with your family. What is your favourite place? My dream of making the world’s best chocolate was born on Hacienda El Tesoro, high in the Cloud Forest in Venezuela, where I farmed cacao for over a decade. This is my favourite place in the world, and it always feels like I’m coming home when I return. What is the most important thing that you have learnt being a chocolate entrepreneur? Creating chocolate is an everlasting adventure, and I have learned a lot of things along the way. The one thing that resonates though is to

never compromise on the quality of ingredients as the finest ingredients make the best flavours. Everything I use in my chocolate is 100% natural, and I source the best flavours from around the world. I know you are passionate about using pure ingredients in the chocolate you make. Why is it better to use quality ingredients? People have lost touch with what chocolate really is. It has lost its taste and become sugary, fatty confectionary. Cacao is actually packed full of vitamins and minerals. The ancient South American peoples drank it in religious ceremonies and called it the Food of the Gods. Only now, is research showing us a little of what this ancient civilisation saw in it. It has high levels of flavonoids, which can protect your heart, and it makes your body produce serotonin and feel-good endorphins too. Can you cheer us all up and tell us the health benefits of eating chocolate (in moderation)? Research has identified that the high level of flavonoids in chocolate can lower blood pressure and protect your arteries. It even stimulates your body to produce serotonin, the brain’s natural anti-depressant, and feel-good endorphins typically created by exercising. To get these benefits however, you need to be eating good dark chocolate. The higher the percentage of cocoa solids in the chocolate, the better it is for you.

26 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

Do you have a favourite family meal that you cook for your family? The children are all at different stages in their food journey due to being different ages. However, they all agree that they love empanadas from South America. They can choose their own fillings according to their taste. One may have black beans, another with white cheese. They’ve been known to choose octopus as a filling too. They’re always a hit! How do you work around the demands of family life? It’s difficult, when you have a passion, to work around family life and compromises have to be made. When one area takes over, work or family, the other area suffers. It’s impossible to put 100% into both 100% of the time, and I must admit I have found it difficult to juggle. What projects are you working on at the moment? We’re about to launch our ultimate hot chocolate, which is the first of its kind in the world. I used to make it just for friends and family and sell the surplus in my online shop. It has recently won an IndyBest award for taste and now we’re introducing it to shops. Keep an eye out for the magical package design! This is new and unique as it’s not industrial. It has nothing nasty in it, just two ingredients, the finest single estate cacao and natural raw cane sugar from Barbados; it tastes divine. It’s 100% natural, frothy and creamy, and beautiful with cow’s milk or vegan milks. Until the new package is launched, you can buy it in our online shop at williescacao.com

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pose. It will be interesting to document how you change each year. You could even put the photos in a special album.

The best family Christmas traditions

Go to a carol service Even if you are not generally a church goer, going to a Crib Service at your local church on Christmas Eve is a lovely thing to do with your children. Singing carols and listening to the story of the nativity is sure to put everybody in the festive mood and it’s good to take some time to remember the origins of Christmas.

By Claire Winter

hat do you cherish and remember most clearly about Christmas during your own childhood? Was it the food, the carols and music, going to church, the Christmas tree? When we look back at our childhood, we don’t remember the gifts that we were given, we recall the things we did as a family that created the most long-lasting memories. Family Christmas traditions adhered to year after year during the festive season are an important part of childhood and are often free or don’t cost much. Here are our eight best memorymaking traditions for families to enjoy this Christmas. Send homemade Christmas cards Go old school and send some homemade cards. In the modern era of e-Christmas cards, this is a traditional way to make your Christmas celebration special. Making homemade Christmas cards can involve the whole family. Sit down with some glitter, stencils, stickers and coloured paper. Play Christmas music to get you in the mood, and your kids (and you!) will have great fun making the cards, and then giving them to friends and family. Make an advent calendar Make or buy an advent calendar that can be reused each year. Instead of putting sweets or toys in it, put in a note for each day about all the diﬀerent things you love about your child. There would be a full-scale riot in my house if there wasn’t a small present or treat in the calendar each day so you may want to consider adding the notes on top of a little present! familiesonline.co.uk

Give them a Christmas Eve box Treat your kids to an early gift with a special box that contains festive pyjamas to wear and a Christmas ﬁlm to watch. If you want to spend less, you could include a festive book or art and craft activity so they can make a Christmas Eve decoration for the tree. Prepare a North Pole Christmas breakfast An amazing way to welcome the festive season is by preparing a North Pole Christmas breakfast for your family on the ﬁrst day of December. Get the kids involved designing the menu and making the decorations. Many families combine a North Pole Christmas breakfast with the Elf on the Shelf who joins them for the meal. He then appears every morning doing something mischievous until Christmas day. I think most parents either love or loathe the Elf. I’ll let you decide! Leave food out for Father Christmas and his friends Leaving food out for the man in red and his friends is another lovely tradition for Christmas Eve. Don’t forget to prepare the reindeer food out of dried oats and biodegradable glitter and have your kids scatter it in the garden on Christmas Eve. We also go out and gather greenery like holly and ivy from our garden to decorate the mantelpieces in our house. Watch the Queen’s Christmas broadcast The tradition of sending out a royal Christmas message to the public started in 1932 with George V. So gather around the television with

your loved ones and a glass of ﬁzz to watch the royal Christmas message from the Queen. Don’t forget to capture a photo with your family Many families forget to take a family photo on Christmas day. So, make time to capture a photo with your family each year in front of the Christmas tree striking the same

Wrap up Enjoy the special festive memories you make with your family. Your children don’t stay little for long, and it’s great to remind them that Christmas is about being together and not just about presents and treats. Share your family traditions with us on Facebook or Instagram using the hashtag #familieschristmas2019 Facebook: @FamiliesThamesValleyWest Instagram: familiestvw

Strictly’s Emma Barton says, “This year’s show was wonderful, such brilliant stand out performances!”

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Families Thames Valley West • 27

Is your child being bullied? By Toby Buckley

Anti-Bullying Week runs from 11 to 15 November this year. It’s a good time to ask yourself whether, as a parent, you are alert to the possibilities of your child being involved in a bullying incident.

e or she could be acting as a bully, being bullied or even upset because they have seen others behaving badly but what are the signs that this might be happening? Frequent headaches and stomach aches Headaches and stomach aches are signs of stress and/or anxiety both of which are commonly linked with bullying. If your child often complains of headaches or stomach aches this could be the ﬁrst warning sign, especially if these are happening in the mornings before leaving for school. Many people believe you should use these signs as an opening point to talk with your child by asking questions like: “You seem to be feeling sick a lot lately; can you tell me more about that?” Asking open-ending questions creates a non-confrontational space in

which you and your child can hopefully get to discuss the root of the problem. Crying or intense emotional reactions If your child breaks into tears or shows a more emotional reaction than usual when being asked about their day, this could also be a sign of bullying. Again, you should try to avoid ambushing your child in a confrontational way during these situations. Best to oﬀer comfort and then, again, ask open-ended questions to ﬁnd out what is going on. Lack of eating If your child or teen comes home from school and you realise they’ve had very little, if any, of their lunch or don’t seem to have an appetite for dinner, this may also be a sign that they are involved in bullying. It may mean that they feel

uncomfortable eating in the dinner hall where they know a bully might be and may be avoiding this area, hence not eating at school at all. It may just be that they are so worried that their appetite is being aﬀected. Torn clothing and physical marks Of course, this is the most obvious sign of bullying. Again, it’s best to ask open-ended questions: “What happened today at school?”; “How did you feel when that happened?” If you become aware that your child is being bullied, witnessing bullying or even bullying themselves, it’s important to take this up with your child’s school. All schools are legally required to have an Anti Bullying policy. Make an appointment with your child’s teacher or the Head and aim to work together with them to ﬁnd a solution.

How to prevent bullying Help children understand Talk to your children about what bullying is, how to act safely and ask for help if they’re being bullied. Communication Talk to your kids on a frequent basis, listen to them, find out who they’re friends with and try to pick up on any changes in their mood and in the way they communicate with you. Be a good role model Try to avoid any confrontational behaviour in front of your child; this includes things like road rage. Research tells us that children really do look to parents and caregivers for advice and help on tough decisions. Because of this, it’s recommended that you spend 30 minutes every day finding out about your child’s day. Sometimes it can be hard to elicit much information but relaxed, regular questions can be effective. You might want to have a chat over dinner, whilst washing dishes or before your child goes to sleep at night. Useful questions might be: “What was one good thing that happened today? Anything bad happen? What is lunch time like at your school? Who do you sit with? What do you talk about?” By doing this daily you should be able to pick up on any changes in your child’s behaviour or activities. For more information about bullying, check out Need2Know’s Essential Guide to Bullying at www.need2knowbooks.co.uk/p roduct/the-essential-guide-tobullying which offers some answers as to why children are bullied and how parents can prevent it from happening, as well as providing some proven methods on how to help a bullied child boost their plummeting self-esteem.

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28 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

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Rebuilding your child’s confidence after bullying By Toby Buckley

Many children need a bit of help to bolster their self-esteem and increase their conﬁdence, especially if they’ve been having a hard time with a school bully.

ome experts have suggested that ongoing bullying can sometimes be just as damaging as physical or emotional abuse in the home. It breaks children down – no matter what you might have been told about life events being “characterbuilding,” victimisation does not strengthen most children. Negative thoughts, diminished self-worth, feelings of inadequacy and selfblame can all occur as a result of chronic victimisation, and all of these can really damage a child’s self-esteem. If your child has recently experienced bullying, give them lots of time to talk and be sure to provide support and plenty of affection. Encouraging friends and family to admire a painting they’ve done, or a certificate they’ve been awarded, by putting it on the wall or on social media can be a great boost. As often as you can, take the time to celebrate your child’s successes and praise their talents and unique character traits. Help your child to explore something new Encourage your child to take up a new activity. Do they appear to have a strong interest in arts and crafts? Do they have a natural gift with a musical instrument? Identify a space where they can embrace these interests, engage with new people and learn new skills. Trying something new and putting yourself out there can be difficult for children at any time, but

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particularly when their confidence is low after a bullying episode. Give them lots of support to stick with it and help them to thrive in their new environment. Your child’s overall confidence will really grow when they discover and develop hidden talents. It will also give them the opportunity to make new friends who don’t know about their bullying experiences at school. The activities your child gets involved in can have a massive influence on their self esteem and confidence. It comes down to more than just having fun (though this is important too). There are loads of activities out there that will help your child to relax and re-group. Spend time together When it comes to building your child’s selfesteem, setting time aside to spend with them can go a long way towards this. It strongly communicates how important they are to you. A solid relationship is also easier to build if you have this time together. Your child will face more and more challenges as they grow, and the foundation of a strong relationship with their parent will really make a difference to how they cope. Kids who feel like an afterthought in their parents’ lives will find dealing with bullying and other hardships much more difficult than kids who know their parents love them unconditionally.

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Take up a sport If your child isn’t pursuing a sport yet, try signing them up for one where they can quickly attain new skills, such as athletics or martial arts. Children can really benefit from regular physical activity, but many kids will feel nervous about highly competitive team games. Sports like martial arts will have the added bonus of teaching your child some selfdefence skills, which will allow them to feel more able to cope with difficult situations. Of course, your child won’t be encouraged to use their new skills to beat up their bullies – but just knowing that they aren’t completely helpless can give them the confidence they need to avoid these situations in the first place. Bonding over a new common interest can also be great for your relationship with your child, so you could consider taking up a sport together. For more information about bullying, check out Need2Know’s Essential Guide to Bullying at www.need2knowbooks.co.uk/product/theessential-guide-to-bullying which offers some answers as to why children are bullied and how parents can prevent this from happening, as well as providing some proven methods on how to help the bullied child boost their plummeting self-esteem.

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Social media guide for parents

Most parents are aware that social networking is hugely popular with children.

recent report by Ofcom – the UK Identity theft - hacking into another person’s communication’s regulator – has social network account and using the person’s found that despite age restrictions, half identity to send or post vicious or embarrassing of children ages 11 and 12 have a social material to/about others. media profile and a growing number of children under 11 years are registering for Cyberstalking - may take the form of social media accounts. repeatedly sending messages that include What’s more, less than a third of parents threats of harm, harassment. who knew their child had a social media To help parents protect their children, profile could correctly state the minimum we have put together a short guide 'most young age restrictions of the social networks. on the most popular platforms with people will Social networking can be seen as the various age safety ratings so being very ‘cool’ by children and they experience or you can decide if your child is may be pressured by their friends into see cyber equipped to deal with the joining. However, there are some very interactions that may arise. bullying at real dangers: some time' Keep in mind that the best online Grooming - when someone builds an safety strategy is to talk with your online relationship with a young person and children and to engage with their use of social tricks them or pressures them into doing media. something sexual. Access to age-inappropriate content which Facebook and Messenger can take the form of images, music or A social network which lets you create a page commercial advertisements. about yourself. You can add friends, write on Damage to self-worth. While social media was people’s pages, join groups, share photos and set up as a means of connecting with others it videos, and play games. Facebook Live lets you is now also used as a means of comparing with broadcast live videos of yourself using the others and to many young people it has mobile app. Messenger allows you to instant become a barometer of how they measure up. message in group chats or one to one, using A preoccupation with how other people react text, audio, photos or videos. You can share to what they post can lead children to feel your live location with friends. Official age unsure about their intrinsic worth. rating 13+ Cyber bullying - rife on the internet and most young people will experience it or see it at Instagram some time. It can take many forms. A picture and video sharing app. Users can post Harassment - via offensive, rude, and insulting content on their profile grid or to their stories, messages and abuse, or nasty or humiliating which last 24 hours. You can follow your comments on post, photos and in chat rooms. friends, family, celebrities and companies on Denigration - when someone sends Instagram. It also has a live streaming feature. information about another person that is fake, Official age rating 13+ damaging and untrue.

30 • Henley • Reading • Wokingham • Bracknell • Newbury • West Berkshire

Snapchat This app lets you send photos, short videos or messages to your friends. Pictures and videos, known as Snaps, usually appear temporarily before disappearing, though they can be captured via screenshots. The Stories feature lets you share Snaps in a sequence for up to 24 hours. Using the Discover screen, you can watch Stories from friends, celebrities and brands. Official age rating 13+ WhatsApp An instant messaging app which lets you send messages, images and videos in one-to-one and group chats. You can choose to share your live location for up to eight hours with one contact or a group. Official age rating 16+ TikTok Formerly called Musical.ly, this lets you create, share and discover 15 second videos. You can use music and effects to enhance your videos. You can also browse other people’s videos and interact with them. Official age rating 13+ YouTube YouTube lets you watch, create, share and comment on videos. You can create your own YouTube account, create a music playlist, and even your own channel, which means you’ll have a public profile. YouTube allows live streaming. Children under 13 cannot create an account and children aged 13 to 17 must have parental permission. Official age rating 13+ More info: ofcom.org.uk/research-and-data/medialiteracy-research/childrens net-aware.org.uk/

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