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IN THIS ISSUE

Education New Year, new you Early years What’s on Parenting Issue 104 January/February 2022

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familiesonline.co.uk Families North Yorkshire Magazine 1

FAMILY NEWS

Helping to create the next generation of astronauts British astronaut Tim Peake is encouraging parents and teachers to ignite children’s interest in space. The Astro Pi Challenge is back for another year of amazing space-based coding adventures. It’s run by the Raspberry Pi Foundation in partnership with the European Space Agency. The challenge is free and empowers children and teens to write a simple computer code and conduct an experiment that runs on board the International Space Station. Tim said: ‘I had the privilege to take the first Astro Pi computers to the International Space Station in 2015. Since then, more than 50,000 children have run experiments and sent messages into orbit. The Astro Pi Challenge is a great activity for children and their parents to discover more about coding and to use digital tools to be creative.’ Children can send their messages to the space station until 18 March 2022 via www.astro-pi.org

New Year, new me By Ian Northeast

As the festivities of Christmas finally come to a close and the kids return to school, it is the perfect time to keep up with those New Year Resolutions, right? Nah! Not me. I’m not big on the resolution front. Not because I have no willpower (although I don’t). Moreso, because I personally think they are rubbish ideas. Why set yourself up for failure at the start of the new year? I am 46 years old, I still drink one too many glasses of wine each week, still haven’t given up smoking and certainly don’t exercise as much as I would like each week. Plus having a birthday in January hasn’t helped the cause. Anyone, with a birthday in January will confirm, they suck! As a young adult, most of my friends partied way too much on NYE and had very little disposable money left to even consider going out again this month. As adults, people tend to hibernate in the first month of the year, leaving your birthday out in the cold (as it were). Instead, I prefer to set myself yearly goals, personal challenges if you like. I like to be in it for the long haul. Go big, or go home. This way, if you do slip up, there is still plenty of time to make amends and still hit your target. First up on my list is something that has been on there for the last few years, but sadly has not been ticked off. I want to compete in an Olympic distance triathlon. I was booked on one in 2020, however for obvious reasons it was cancelled. Actually, taking part isn’t really the goal for me. It is getting back outside and training that I want to do. Over the past lockdowns, my motivation dropped considerably to such a point that I can’t remember the last time I went for a 2 Families North Yorkshire Magazine

Help fund vital research by joining Wear A Hat Day! Join thousands of children, parents and teachers on Friday 25th March for Wear A Hat Day – a great way to bring people together and raise vital funds for leading charity Brain Tumour Research.

Register your school, community or family event today: www.wearahatday.org and we’ll send you a free fundraising pack! Coming at the end of March, Brain Tumour Awareness Month, several celebrities are supporting this hattastic campaign. The latest set of collectable Wear A Hat Day pin badges have a regal theme in celebration of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee year. Order your box of badges to sell during registration! Brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer. This is unacceptable and Brain Tumour Research is determined to change this. Funds raised from Wear A Hat Day will help towards establishing a new Research Centre of Excellence. run, ride or swim. For me, it is not only the exercise part either. It really helps my mental health. It clears my mind. And more importantly, it makes me feel better. About everything. So, number one. Book myself onto a triathlon event in the summer. Train weekly. Feel better. Up next on the list is to actually finish the book that I started about three years ago. The same book that has been loitering, unfinished, unloved in a folder on the laptop since 2019. Again, this one isn’t solely to finish something that I have had planned for years. That part is easy. I need to find time to finish the job at hand. I need to make space in my already busy schedule of work and parenting. I need to use my time more wisely. There are more, but I won’t bore you with them all. Put simply, my goals for 2022 are to watch out for my mental health and get more organised. Simple really. Things I should be doing anyway. This is why I like goals for the year, rather than short-lived resolutions. They unclutter your brain and help you stay focused for the upcoming year. I will still try to give up smoking, drink less etc. But by not promising myself I will do it only to fail by the end of the month, I stand more chance of doing it. Will I manage them? You will have to check back next year and find out. Although having read this article through again, perhaps being less grumpy about January should be on my New Year’s Resolution list this year. Ian writes over at Dad’s Delicious Dinners, www.dadsdeliciousdinners. co.uk where he covers food, family, fatherhood and fun. Familiesonline.co.uk

CONTENTS

Welcome Happy New Year everyone! Let’s hope 2022 is an easier year for everybody.

If you’ve made a resolution to prioritise your health this year, then plan to change ‘just one thing.’ Find inspiration in our New Year, New You feature on pages 8 and 9. In our Education section, find out how more girls can be encouraged into science and how to prepare your child for SATs. Plus, in this issue, we are launching our new ‘Meet the Head’ feature. Turn to page 4 to learn more about Rachel Capper, Head at the Mount Junior School in York. And cheer up these winter months with some great entertainment options from our What’s On guide.

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In this issue 2.

Family news & Dad blog

Education

New Year, new you

10. Early years 12. Parenting 14. What’s on guide 15. Work 16. Family health check list

Why not register your school, community or family event today to join thousands of children, parents and teachers on 25th March for Wear A Hat Day? Help raise money for Brain Tumour Research and have fun whilst you do it! Finally, with our children’s mental health always at the top of our priority list, we have Happiness is…Mental Health Activity Packs for kids to give away to new subscribers. So don’t forget to apply! And, if you haven’t signed up to receive our digital magazine and enjoy additional, interactive content, there’s still time. Sign up at familiesmag.co.uk/go to receive every issue free to your inbox.

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Competition winners from our September/October issue

Sally Garbutt, Joanne Banks, Petra Dias, Frankie Salter, Nichola Woad, Cindy Baldwin, Alina Ali, Cherelle St Hilaire, Gemma Lovegrove and Farrah Orr who received a Tales of Me book and to Hina Wajahat, Claire Goodfellow and Fran Dobbins who received an Art Lab Pouring Studio. And, for the recipients of plasticine gifts or Equazen family packs, visit https://bit.ly/PlasticineEquazen Families is a registered trademark of LCMB Ltd, Remenham House, Regatta Place, Marlow Road, Bourne End, Bucks SL8 5TD. The contents of this magazine are fully protected by copyright and none of the editorial or photographic matter may be reproduced in any form without prior consent of Families Print Ltd. Every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine but Families Print Ltd, its distributors, franchisees and LCMB Ltd cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers nor for the accuracy of the contents, or any consequences thereof.

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Dame Sheila Hancock DBE

Caprice Bourret

Sarah Beeny

www.wearahatday.org MARCH 2022

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Registered charity number 1153487 (England and Wales) SC046840 (Scotland)

Families North Yorkshire Magazine 3

Meet

EDUCATION

Meet Rachel Capper, Head of the Mount Junior School, York

Head the

Sponsored feature

What inspired you to teach and later to become a Head? My father was a Head teacher so viewing him doing a job that he loved was an inspiration. I also admired my teachers, to see the impact they had on helping shape my own life and that of other children felt incredibly special. One of the most rewarding aspects of being an Early Years teacher, is knowing that you are having a positive impact on the children. When the opportunity to become Head came up at The Mount Junior School it felt meant to be. I love the Quaker ethos and the atmosphere of tolerance, respect and care that the School embodies. What do you enjoy most about being The Mount School’s Head Teacher? It is an incredible privilege being the Head Teacher of The Mount Junior School. I particularly enjoy developing relationships with parents. They have entrusted us with the most precious thing in their lives, their children! Working at all all-girls School is extremely gratifying, Mount girls are part of a culture where, whatever they do in or out of the classroom, their role models are older girls. They know that girls can achieve because they see it around them every day. I am immensely proud of our supportive and nurturing atmosphere; girls learn from an early age to be secure in themselves and trust their choices. Mount girls are confident, they are courageous, and they can articulate their thoughts without the fear of getting it wrong. Being an all through School is enjoyable, as we get to see the girls continue their education. Many girls in Sixth Form joined the Junior School. I remember them as bundles of energy, excited and eager to learn. To see them now as confident, compassionate, young women, embodying the school’s ethos makes me extremely privileged to have been part of their Mount journey. What do you think is the hardest part of education today for pupils? We have been through a tough couple of years with the Covid-19 pandemic. We were extremely fortunate at The Mount, that we were able to offer a comprehensive online provision. The wonderful thing about children is they are resilient, and they

were not daunted at all and adapted very quickly. Despite this though children have missed out on many events and the impact of the pandemic can be felt around them, so it is extremely important that we acknowledge this and help them to understand what has happened. When the girls first returned to School we spent time reflecting on their time during lockdown. Each girl was invited to create a card with a memory of theirs from lockdown which they then hung on a Memory Tree in the Junior School Foyer. This helped the children to understand that there may have been a storm, but the storm will pass. How do you get the pupils to give back to the community? Giving back to the community and learning to be socially conscious is an important part of The Mount’s Quaker ethos. We feel it is important that the girls learn their place in the world and how they can use it to make a difference. We were the first Junior School to introduce the PeaceJam Curriculum. The curriculum, uses the stories of Nobel Peace Prize winners and aims to encourage young people to create and implement their own Global Call to Action Projects. We have supported the Learn Bags Appeal, raising funds to buy stationary for refugee children. This year we are raising funds for UNICEF in Afghanistan to promote and protect the rights of children and women. We regularly support charities, nationally and locally, and these are often pupil led. For example, The Junior School Sport Committee decided to hold a ‘Santa Dash’ charging participants 50p to join in. The money raised helped to buy stationary for the appeal. We support national Charity days such as Comic Relief and most recently getting our ‘Strictly On’ for Children in Need, with a sponsored dance afternoon. At Christmas, we usually visit a local Nursing Home to sing Christmas Carols to the residents, unfortunately due to Covid we have not been able to visit in person and so instead we have decorated baubles for their Christmas trees and for Comic Relief created joke bokes for the residents to enjoy. What is something about you that nobody knows? My degree was in music, and I can play the piano, clarinet, saxophone, and violin.

4 Families North Yorkshire Magazine

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EDUCATION

Is your child ready for SATs? By Jemma Zoe Smith There can hardly be a single child in the country who hasn’t seen their schooling disrupted during the pandemic. In acknowledgement of this disruption, SATs have been cancelled for the last two years but in 2022 they’ll be going ahead as normal. If you’re a parent of a child who will be sitting SATs in May 2022 or 2023, you might be concerned about what this means for your child’s exam performance - a worry which is doubled for those parents whose children are also sitting the 11+. The good news is that if you’re addressing these concerns now, you’re doing so in good time. There’s plenty of opportunity for your child to make up any gaps in their learning before the exams roll around. The first thing to do as a parent is not to worry too much. While your child’s schooling has been disrupted, so has that of all their peers. It’s likely that results will be poorer across the board, which is reassuring if you’re considering a selective school for your child’s secondary education. What’s more, any teacher looking at your child’s exam results in the future will consider the extraordinary situation in which their studies were taking place. Above all, even if the situation is causing you stress, it’s important not to transmit that to your child, whose performance won’t be improved by exam nerves. If you are stressed and are struggling to contain your feelings, make sure you focus on getting appropriate support. You can’t help your child unless you feel calm. The next step is to find out to what extent your concerns are justified. Speak to your child’s teacher and find out to what extent they’ve fallen behind relative to the performance their teacher would expect at this stage, had circumstances been more normal. For example, it might be that your child spent all of lockdown glued to a book and so needs support in maths, but not in English. Make sure you’re focusing your efforts where they’re needed. Once you know where the gaps in your child’s understanding are, you can address them with targeted learning and revision. At this age, the best approach is little and often. That could be a quick spelling test when your child gets home from school, grammar questions on the way there or a couple of maths problems when they’re waiting for dinner. Keep it fun and your child will be back on track in no time. Jemma Zoe Smith is Director of The Education Hotel. Find out more at www.educationhotel.co.uk

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Families North Yorkshire Magazine 5

EDUCATION

Getting girls into science By Gabrielle Nash For many years, girls have shied away from subjects like science and maths. As a result, the numbers of women in STEM careers (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) are small. International Day of Women and Girls in Science takes place on 11 February with the aim of celebrating and motivating women and girls to study and take up careers in science and related fields. Getting more girls into those fields is crucial to improving diversity. Recent efforts to address the balance of men and women in STEM is working. Yet while the female STEM workforce has for the first time reached over one million women, most of the workforce is male and the balance still needs addressing. So what can be done?

Another factor that is stopping both boys and girls from choosing certain subjects, like computing and physics, is the idea that it is harder to achieve top grades in them. But many employers are not looking for the highest grades; instead they want logical and thoughtful people who can problem solve.

First, we must look at what is stopping young women and girls from choosing these subjects. Sadly, this is believed to be largely the result of gender stereotypes introduced at a young age.

If you are the parent of a young girl, you might think it is too early to engage her on this issue but even at a young age, girls can be motivated to pursue science-based subjects through appropriate role models.

Children are often encouraged towards traditional play based on their gender, which develops their brains and skills in a certain way. Look at introducing a variety of play experiences from the outset: from dolls to Lego, there should be plenty of variety and no boundaries.

Introduce your girls to some of the world’s incredible female scientists through books. It’s one of the easiest ways to inspire more girls to take a career in science. There are some wonderfully engaging options.

As children get older, they are faced with the stereotype and belief that boys and girls are suited to different subjects. Research has clearly shown that there is no difference in ability between boys and girls in different subjects, so we need to tackle the stereotypes children are exposed to from an early age.

By introducing these role models to our girls, we can spread the word about female achievement and hopefully encourage passion for STEM subjects amongst them.

Hidden Figures: The True Story of Four Black Women and the Space Race by Margot Lee Shetterly Based on the best-selling adult novel, this picture book features four brilliant mathematicians who contributed to some of NASA’s greatest successes in space. Dorothy Vaughan, Mary Jackson, Katherine Johnson and Christine Darden had to persist during a time when being both black and female were limitations. With their genius minds, they ultimately helped change the world. There’s also an edition for ages 8 to 12. Ada Twist, Scientist by Andrea Beaty Inspired by real-life mathematician Ada Lovelace and scientist Marie Curie, this best-selling picture book champions STEM, girl power and women scientists in a celebration of curiosity, the power of perseverance, and the importance of asking ‘Why?’ Even when her fact-finding missions and elaborate scientific experiments don’t go as planned, Ada learns the value of thinking her way through problems and continuing to stay curious. This is a funny, engaging picture book for young readers.

6 Families North Yorkshire Magazine

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EDUCATION

Print book or e-books What’s best for our children? By Lulu Skantze Electronic devices enable us to access, at the touch of a finger, millions of e-books at a lower cost and with easier storage than printed books. Most children’s books and magazines are now available in digital format too. This makes sense as many children use electronic devices at an early age. But while it is important to embrace all technologies and see stories available in all formats, printed materials have an essential role in developing young readers.

and be in the reading space - a wonderful habit to develop.

Deep reading

Shared reading

‘Deep reading’ is an important process which is activated when reading from paper and particularly applies when reading highquality, long texts. Screens affect our reading processes and the more we read short texts on screen, the more our reading shifts towards skimming. Consequently, our tolerance for reading long literary texts diminishes and we lose the benefits of using the cognitive processes that deep reading involves. In addition, reading from devices involves juggling multiple distractions, such as interactive touchscreens, hyperlinks and alerts, which move our attention away from what’s being read. This adversely affects our comprehension and reading speed.

Printed books make shared reading easier than e-books. Shared reading is incredibly important when it comes to encouraging a child to read. A book allows for more discovery and children can interact with it for longer in a more engaging way, as well as being able to colour in, draw, underline words and so on. Reading for pleasure

Mindful reading

Studies have found that reading for pleasure plays a huge role in a child’s confidence, personal development and academic achievement. Reading books engages children in a magical world of stories, adventures and fantasy. It is so important that reading for pleasure now forms part of the National Curriculum.

Printed books help children develop the habit of reading through mindfulness. They slow us down and enable us to engage with a book with no sounds, distractions or screen glare. Reading printed books teaches us to connect with the present moment

Lulu Skantze is co-founder of Storytime, a high-quality monthly magazine that helps to improve children’s literacy with no adverts or plastic toys, just great stories. Visit www.storytimemagazine.com

Shared reading tips Sit together with your child so that they can see the pages you’re reading. As you read to your child, get them involved from the start. Can they guess what the story might be about from the title? Follow each word of the story with your finger, so your child can associate the sounds they’re hearing with the letters they see. Encourage your child to read out loud with you when reading rhymes and repetitive stories. Ask your child to listen and repeat unfamiliar or hard-topronounce words. This will help their pronunciation. Talk about what the word might mean to help build their vocabulary. When you find a complex idea or sentence, stop and ask your child whether they understand. Point to the illustrations, ask your child who the characters are and what happens next. This helps build anticipation and encourages participation. When reading aloud, put lots of expression into your reading, so your child can copy what you’re doing. When you’ve finished, ask questions about the characters and what happened to them. Familiesonline.co.uk

Families North Yorkshire Magazine 7

NEW YEAR, NEW YOU

Just one healthy thing in 2022! By Claire Winter

At this time of the year, we are bombarded with unrealistic health advice. Give up carbs, do a HIIT workout every day, walk fifteen thousand steps. Glamorous women and men in lycra stare at us from our social feeds, making us feel like failures before we even start a new health regime. So how about setting yourself an easy target of changing just one thing this New Year?

Take Vitamin D

Get a fitness buddy Accountability works. If you want to start a new fitness regime, find a friend to do it with you, says Paula Kerr from Fitter Stronger. ‘This might mean always training with a friend and not letting them down or keeping an exercise or nutrition record and sharing it with a friend or fitness professional.’ www.fitterstronger.org

Vitamin D is highly recommended for anyone living in the UK because we don’t get enough sunshine. Public Health England recommends every adult takes a ten mg supplement in autumn and winter - all year round if you have darker skin. It boosts the immune system, helps prevent depression and strengthens bones. Find at all good health food stores/online.

Take time to meditate Just ten minutes meditation a day can make a huge difference. Research shows that meditation has a positive effect on a range of stress-related illnesses, including heart disease, cholesterol and high blood pressure. It can also help people suffering from insomnia, anxiety and depression. Check out www.insighttimer.com for hundreds of free meditations.

Get quality sleep

Have a cold shower Many people shared their outdoor swimming adventures last year. Intrigued? Start small with the Wim Hof method. Begin with a simple breathing technique and cold showers every morning and progress to cold water swimming. Doing this every day for five months has really improved my mood and quality of sleep! www.wimhofmethod.com

Personal trainer, Alex Cornwell, says: ‘It’s best to accept that as a parent it may not be possible to sleep uninterrupted for eight to nine hours a night. Instead, make sure you’re getting to bed early, not scrolling through Instagram or watching Netflix. This keeps you up longer and late-night screen time is proven to reduce the quality of your sleep’. www.revolution-pts.com

Practise gratitude ‘Gratitude is the first step to embracing our body, shifting our relationship with it and seeing it as one of our best buddies. It makes a huge difference in our fitness training and the food we choose to nourish our body’ says the Body Whisperer, Vanessa Conway. Keeping a daily gratitude diary can make also make you feel more optimistic about life. www.feelmovebewithvanessa.com

Try forest bathing

Go veggie For one day a week, try and skip meat. www.meatfreemondays.com is a good website to follow. Can you make a family favourite with a meat substitute or try a new vegetarian recipe? 8 Families North Yorkshire Magazine

Get out in nature and de-stress in your local forest or woodland. In Japan, it’s called Shirrin Yoku, it’s proven to help you boost your mood, health and wellbeing and it’s free. Find your local forest here www.forestryengland.uk

Familiesonline.co.uk

NEW YEAR, NEW YOU

Focus on you and your family in 2022! Take a look at our choice of local businesses, who offer you the chance to focus on you and/or you and your family in 2022. Make this the year where you allow yourself to say no to those parts of your life which don’t make you feel good and to say YES to more time on yourself and with your family.

1-1 Coaching Workshops Talks Individuals Corporate www.annaknowles.com

C M Photography

At C M Photography, Chris believes in creating a relaxed and friendly environment, so all of those natural moments can really shine through. So whether it’s a newborn or family photography session, she just loves getting to be part of those special moments & giving you a way to treasure those memories for years to come. So book now to capture this time with your family.

anna@annaknowles.com

Anna Knowles Coaching

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Blank Canvas Art Club At Blank Canvas Art Club, Suzi runs adult art classes, online and in person in York.

Suitable for beginners or refreshers, adult classes are a space for you to create and follow topics and subjects that inspire you using materials that you want with on hand tuition. The two hours are just for you away from everyday life where you can get lost in the process of creation amongst like-minded people. www.facebook.com/BlankCanvasArtClub or email Suzi on blankcanvasartclub@gmail.com

Ruthie Clegg Photography

Ruthie is a published and professional newborn and family photographer who appreciates the raw emotions of everyday life through all aspects of photography. She tries to capture the true spirit and personalities of each person. Her images are the epitome of joy and human spirit. Why not freeze a moment in time, otherwise forgotten or let Ruthie capture your newborn’s first smile?

5 Day work life balance challenge with Anna Knowles As a working parent you expect to be busy, but has the treadmill of work, home, sleep and repeat begun to feel like a chore? Life is busy these days, but when the feelings of overwhelm, stress and burnout are all too frequent is there anything that can be done about it, or should you just accept it? Join me on my “5 day work life balance challenge” that starts on the 17th January to find out how to get some calm and enjoyment back in your life. As an Occupational Health Nurse with over 20 years nursing experience, I specialise in understanding the relationship between work life and personal life and I can help you to create the balance that you crave. Join the facebook group or email me at anna@annaknowles.com to get all the details of how to live a calmer life.

South Milford based, near Selby and Tadcaster. www.ruthiecleggphotography.co.uk Familiesonline.co.uk

Families North Yorkshire Magazine 9

EARLY YEARS

Changes in the childcare sector By Karen Beresford Ofsted data shows that childcare providers have been closing at a concerning rate, with almost four times more providers closing between September 2020 and March 2021 than between March and August 2020. Since the start of 2021, a third of local authorities in England have reported a rise in the number of providers in their area permanently closing. Despite the closures, most local authorities in England have not yet seen an increase in childcare shortages. Over two thirds reported having enough childcare available to meet demand from parents working full time, compared to just over half in 2020 (Coram March 2021). However, this situation is most likely to be due to a drop in demand during the pandemic when more parents worked from home. As parents return to the workplace, demand is increasing again, making it harder to find childcare and for many to remain in their jobs. A significant factor in the decline of childcare places has been a five per cent drop in those provided by registered childminders (Ofsted data). Coram found that childminders abandoning the sector is especially significant in rural areas and childminder availability is more scarce for parents who work atypical hours and need more flexibility. Significantly fewer than two thirds of parents working earlier morning or evening shifts reported that available childcare met their needs.

5.30pm on weekdays and that is if they have a relatively short and reliable commute. Unfortunately, there are many jobs that fall outside those hours. Of particular concern is the shortage of childcare places for older children. School age childcare is used by twice as many children as pre-school childcare and is essential for many working parents. With childminders closing, after-school vacancies are harder to find. One mother just about managed to work from home but now she is being called back to the workplace she can’t find anyone to drop off and pick up her children. When it comes to holiday childcare, if it’s available, convenience and cost are definite factors. Parents report that many activities for children in the holidays run 9am to 3pm and cost around £200 per child. This is difficult to fund and doesn’t cover the beginning and end of the day.

A quick scroll through Mumsnet shows many posts from parents struggling to access childcare: ‘It was so difficult to find a place in our area ... had to go to one nursery twice a week and to a different one for the third day’ reports one mother. ‘The nursery I wanted had an eighteen month waiting list,’ said another.

For families with different aged children, some pre-school and others of school age, trying to find provision for before and after school, as well as full day care, is a particular challenge. Parents cannot always find a nursery that is within reachable distance of work, home and their older children’s school.

Parents are increasingly booking childcare in the early stages of pregnancy. In one example, a mother who was fourteen weeks pregnant registered her baby for a February 2023 start. In the north west, one mother booked a place for August 2023 when twenty weeks pregnant. It was one of the last spaces and the nursery is now fully booked for this time.

Access to childcare is important, both to support paid work and help shape young children’s development. As places become harder to find, parents who are considering looking for a childcare place may be wise to start the search sooner, rather than later to be assured of finding a space.

To exacerbate difficulties, where there is childcare, it is often not suitable. For example, a provision that runs 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday means a parent can realistically work only 8.30am to

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Karen Beresford is a childcare expert at Your Employee Wellbeing. More info at www.youremployeewellbeing.co.uk

Can government do more?

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For kids ages 6-16 Adult beginner classes available too /BlankCanvasArtClub 07773 819 603 blankcanvasartclub@gmail.com blankcanvas.art.club 10 Families North Yorkshire Magazine

Research by the Trades Union Congress (TUC) found that between 2008 and 2016 the cost of a 1 year old’s nursery provision grew four times faster than wages in England. In London, it was more than seven times faster. Working parents say the government’s inadequate childcare policies leave them financially crippled and held back in their careers. A wide-ranging study shows that overwhelmingly parents believe that ministers are not doing enough to support childcare costs and availability and that childcare in the UK is too expensive. Familiesonline.co.uk

EARLY YEARS

Soothing nightmares and night terrors Nightmares can be very upsetting for children but they are distinct from night terrors, which can be very alarming for their parents! What are nightmares? Nightmares typically start between the ages of 3 and 6 years. They happen during deep sleep, usually in the early hours. Unlike night terrors, children can remember nightmares (or feeling afraid) after waking. And night terrors? Night terrors are common and usually pass in time. Children who have night terrors may shout, thrash around or jump out of bed. They may have their eyes open but may not actually be awake. Unlike nightmares, children don’t have to be in a deep sleep and, in fact, night terrors can happen soon after falling asleep. Your child may not remember night terrors in the morning. If your child has experienced a nightmare: Show and tell them that you understand how scared or upset they feel. Tell a soothing bedtime story or sing some favourite songs or rhymes together. Encourage your child to cuddle a favourite soft toy. Ask your child if they would like a gentle massage. Try stroking down your child’s arm from shoulder to hand, stroking their face or making circles on their back. Ask them about the best part of their day or something that made them laugh. Try mindfulness activities to soothe your child. If your child is having a night terror: Stay calm – you may have woken abruptly and feel alarmed.

Only intervene if your child is at risk of injury - if they are running wildly or close to an area where they could hurt themselves. Talk calmly and block access to dangerous areas. Holding or restraining them may be difficult and lead to wilder behaviour. As long as your child’s safe, don’t try to wake, comfort or talk to them. They may not recognise you and could become more distressed. Wait for your child to calm by themselves. Then wake them and settle them back to sleep. Don’t mention the episode, as they are unlikely to remember it. Most children grow out of night terrors and they don’t cause any long-term harm. Worried by their frequency and intensity? It’s a good idea to get medical advice, find out more at www.nhs.uk/ conditions/night-terrors or speak to parenting coaches on the free helpline at www.parenting.actionforchildren.org.uk With thanks to Action for Children for this article. You can find many other useful articles on parenting at their Parent Talk site at www.parents.actionforchildren.org.uk

Mindfulness activities

Preventing night terrors

Here are two guided mindfulness activities that can help soothe your child if they’re having nightmares.

Establish a good bedtime routine.

Release fears Ask your child to imagine locking the bad dream away in a box. Imagine a big truck carrying the box away. Then see the box loaded onto a big ship. The ship sails far out to sea and drops the box into the water. See it sinking down, down, down to the bottom of the deep, deep ocean. Relax and drift away Ask them to tighten each set of muscles, hold for a few seconds and then let go. Notice how the muscles become soft and relaxed. Start with the toes then the legs, bottom, tummy, shoulders, arms, hands and finally the face.

Make sure their bedroom is a safe, relaxing space free of clutter. A blackout blind can be helpful to keep out day light. Some children may find a night light soothing. Limit screen use. Turn screens off an hour before bed and keep screens out of the bedroom at night altogether. Help them wind down. Preparing your child for bed can include having a bath, which should help them start to feel sleepy. Younger children may enjoy lullabies, being read/told a story or even some colouring-in. Older children may want to read or listen to relaxing music. Chat together. Encourage your child to get any worries off their chest. If night terrors tend to happen at the same time each night, try waking your child fifteen minutes before this time. Doing this for seven days may be enough to stop the terrors without affecting sleep quality. Talk to your child when they are calm about anything that might be worrying them. This can help you spot any triggers.

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Families North Yorkshire Magazine 11

PARENTING

Helping kids with ecoanxiety By Angela Terry Growing up in a time of climate crisis is not easy. Images of deforestation, melting glaciers and out-of-control wildfires seem everywhere. The scale and severity of the situation is difficult for adults to comprehend. Naturally, children can find it overwhelming. Eco-anxiety is increasingly prevalent amongst our kids. Research by Bath University shows that sixty percent of children and young people describe themselves as ‘very or extremely worried’ about climate change. As a mum and environmental scientist, I am well aware of the difficulties of talking to children about this subject. The temptation is to tell them not to worry. But actually this will add to their genuine concern that this issue is being ignored by the ‘grown-ups.’ Focus instead on positive solutions. Here are my tips: Remind children that together we can change the world Taking everyday actions can empower kids. Like eating less meat or snuggling under a blanket instead of turning up the thermostat. But remind them that it’s practically impossible to live a completely sustainable life. The world needs lots of people doing sustainability imperfectly, rather than a few doing it perfectly. Point them to less frightening online resources Exposure to gloomy predictions online can affect children’s moods. Make sure they are looking at websites that talk about climate change in an unthreatening way without a barrage of scary statistics. NASA’s Climate Kids website has been designed specifically for children and has a wide range of resources,

including videos and games. Make green spending decisions jointly Discuss with your children which products your family buys. There are sustainable alternatives for everything, from food and fashion to cars and bank accounts. If the green alternative is more expensive, ask your children if they would be happy to go without something to pay for it. This allows them to understand the power of purchasing. Help children join or start a group with friends Joining climate-focused community and action groups can be of huge benefit to children with feelings of anxiety, helplessness and despair. The sense of shared belonging and concern can be very comforting. Working towards tangible solutions with others gives kids a greater sense of control. Angela Terry is an environmental scientist and mum of three. She’s the founder of One Home (www.onehome.org.uk), the UK’s first consumer climate action hub which provides independent, practical advice on the changes you can make to help fight global warming and adapt to climate change.

Discussing climate change

Practical things to do

As a parent your first instinct is to protect your kids but it’s not helpful to tell them not to concern themselves with climate change. Worrying about this huge problem is entirely normal. Here are some suggestions for handling those tricky conversations:

One of the best ways to help children feel better about the climate emergency is to empower them to do something about it. It can be as simple as encouraging them to walk to school instead of being driven. Here are some activity ideas for the whole family:

Listen to your child’s worries and acknowledge them. Don’t dismiss them out-of-hand. Empathise. Show you’re concerned too. But don’t focus on doomsday scenarios. There is no cliff edge. Point out they’re not alone. Talk about all the people who are also worried and striving to effect change. Check out Instagram accounts which offer a solutions-based outlook like @thegreenhub @ ouronehome @lowimpactmovement Empower without making them feel overly responsible. Tell them we all have a role to play in addressing this issue – but it’s not all on them. Point out positive climate news stories whenever you come across them. Teach anxiety regulation techniques, like breathing and mindfulness.

Rewild your garden. Set up a bug hotel. Start growing vegetables. Replace some of your lawn with wildflowers. Make low-carbon meals based around local fruit and vegetables from a farmer’s market, if possible (or even produce you’ve grown yourselves!) Take part in the Big Garden Birdwatch (www.rspb.org.uk), the Great British Spring Clean (www.keepbritaintidy.org) or Earth Day (www.earthday.org). Fundraise for a green charity by organising a low-carbon bake sale or doing a sponsored walk. Craft homemade birthday and Christmas presents for loved ones. Shut curtains and blinds from dusk until dawn to keep the heat in (and energy bills low). Write to your MP and explain why you are concerned about climate change.

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PARENTING

When friendships go wrong By Clare Cogan Friendships can be a challenge throughout our lives; from our own school playground days to when we’re back there as parents. Late primary school age often brings significant shifts in friendships. If your child has been in a ‘group’ or has had a ‘best friend,’ you might observe fall outs between them which can include exclusions from invitations and activities. These evershifting sands can lead to tears, sleepless nights and worries. It’s time to help your tween navigate some of these trickier times and support them. Part of building that all-important resilience in life is to help them deal with and learn from difficult times. You are their guiding light in this regard.

Consider your own friendship history. Use your own experiences of difficult friendships or times when you have moved away from friends and made new ones to help your children understand that it is okay for things to change.

Firstly, take a moment.... and a step back.

Tell your children about what happened in these friendship situations, what you felt, how you coped and how things turned out. Children love stories, no matter what age they are and yours will help them realise they are not alone, even when it feels like they are. This sharing can carry more weight than just reassuring them that things will ‘get better.’

The drama itself is easy to get embroiled in, especially if you are friends with the parents whose children are involved. Despite the temptation, texting or picking up the phone to discuss the issue is not always helpful and can even be counterproductive. As children start to move towards transition to secondary school, we need to give them the tools and resources to cope with friendship challenges and not always step in and sort it out ourselves. Be aware that some of what might be happening may trigger memories of your own experiences at school which may not be directly related to your child’s issue. This often happened with me when we had challenges with our boys and friendships. My inner lioness would spark off straight away in response to these issues based on my own childhood challenges.

Spend time helping your child to think about what they value in friendship, such as honesty, kindness, trustworthiness. Talk about why others choose them to be their friend and point to what makes a good friend when times are tough. Clare Cogan is a teenage anxiety specialist and author who works with parents and their teens to help them understand how their mind affects their mood. More information at www.clarecogan.com

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When to worry Playground spats and fallings out are as typical among friends as they are among siblings. Forgotten by the next day, they are useful lessons in getting on with others. However, if your child is coming home with continuous reports of unkindness and struggles and is upset, sad and clearly finding things difficult, give value to those experiences. Try not to pass judgement on the other children, no matter how hard as that is, it is possible they will be friends again tomorrow. If you notice ongoing changes in your child’s behaviour, a withdrawal from activities they have previously enjoyed or anything else, this is the time to take some action, speak to the school to ensure that they are aware of the challenges and discuss their policy for dealing with these situations.

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Just as you are supporting your child and showing they are not alone, nor are you. Packed with expert advice, Young Minds specialises in young people’s mental health, supporting young people and their parents with helplines, webchats and email services. See www.youngminds.org.uk

Magazine

Families North Yorkshire Magazine 13

WHAT’S ON If you’re looking for places to visit and things to keep the kids entertained as winter approaches springtime, then our What’s On guide is packed full of ideas for places to take the kids, whatever the weather, local festivals, events and shows. National Railway Museum, York Make memories as winter turns to springtime at the National Railway Museum. Get the family together and immerse yourselves in the atmospheric halls of iconic locomotives. With simulator rides, play areas and cafes, it’s the perfect indoor family day out.

Indoor fun

DIG, York Grab a trowel and dig to see what you can find in DIG’s specially designed excavation pits. This hands-on archaeology experience is based on reallife past digs in the city. Web Adventure Park, York A family favourite whatever the weather. Fun and excitement for all ages with amazing activities in the soft play area and the extensive outdoor park which includes climbing frames, a mini water park, and play area, toddler tri-bikes, quadbikes, an animal zone and more. William’s Den, Yorkshire Wolds Set in the rolling landscape of the Yorkshire Wolds, William’s Den is a unique indoor-meets-outdoor adventure playscape, centred on good old-fashioned fun. Inspired by kids and loved by grownups, it makes the perfect day for all of the family, whatever the weather. Eureka! The National Children’s Museum, Halifax It is the only fully interactive museum dedicated to children aged 0-11 anywhere in the UK. They have six unique zones, with over 400 interactive, hands-on exhibits designed to inspire enquiring minds to find out about themselves and the world around them.

January

11 Jan North Bay, Scarborough, 10am - 12 Waves of Waste Beach Clean Join Yorkshire Wildlife Trust as they give the help marine wildlife need by clearing litter from the beach. 28 Jan The Forum, Northallerton, 7pm Megaslam Wrestling Get your foam fingers at the ready as, following on from a sold-out event in 2020, the stars of Europe’s family wrestling show ‘Megaslam’ are coming back with their brand new 2022 show ‘Live & Loaded’. 19.00. £45/£10. Family of 4 £46. 14 Families North Yorkshire Magazine

28 – 30 Jan RSPB Big Garden Bird Watch Join the RSPB for the Big Garden Bird Watch this year. Share your findings and help monitor the birds of Britain. Sign up for free online. 29 – 30 Jan York York Residents Festival York Residents Festival is a ‘thank you’ to residents of York. This year, there is a chance to explore behind the scenes at several venues not usually open to the public as well as some great dining and retail offers. 29 – 30 Jan York Theatre Royal The Smeds and the Smoos Soar into space with this exciting adaptation of the award-winning book by Julia Donaldson and Alex Scheffler. On a far-off planet Smeds and Smoos can’t be friends. So, when young Smed and Smoo fall in love and zoom off into space together, how will their families get them back?

February

the incredibly successful events from previous years, such as stargazing at the three Dark Skies Discovery Centres, ghost walks on the coast and night zips at Dalby Forest. Find out more: www.northyorkmoors.org. uk/visiting/whats-on/dark-skies-festival 19 – 27 Feb – Jorvik Viking Centre Jorvik Viking Festival Recognised as the largest event of its kind in Europe, the annual JORVIK Viking Festival is a citywide celebration of York’s rich Norse heritage. The Vikings will once again be pitching theier tents in central York. Not to miss are events like the Best Beard competition, the Strongest Viking competition and if restrictions remain lifted, the March to Coppergate through the city centre. Absolutely fantastic family entertainment, often for free or a small cost. Get yourself there! For details of daily events visit: www.jorvikvikingfestival.co.uk

In February, Goldsborough Hall Snowdrop Days Returning in 2022, visitors can enjoy access to the grounds of this private former Royal residence, also taking in delicate hellebores and carpets of winter aconites. They can enjoy a stroll down the quarter-mile Lime Tree Walk, which was planted by royal visitors to the Hall during the 1920s. Plaques on the trees show the dates when dignitaries including King George V and Queen Mary planted them. 6 – 5 Feb, York city centre York Ice Trail The UK’s biggest outdoor Ice Trail will be returning for more frosty and fantastical fun with a range of magnificent ice sculptures set to transform York’s city centre. 12 – 18 Feb, Science & Media Museum Yorkshire games Festival A weeklong extravaganza celebrating games culture, design and production, with special guests, workshops, master classes and a fun-packed weekend for gamers of all ages. 18 Feb –6 Mar – Various locations Dark Skies Festival Events and activities will be taking place all over the moorland, dales, coast and Howardian Hills. As well as some of

25 – 27 Feb, Wakefield city centre Rhubarb Festival Rhubarb lovers rejoice! Wakefield’s celebration of its most famous vegetable returns to paint the city pink. It’s one of the first food and drinks festivals in the national calendar and in 2022 it promises to start things off with a bang!

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WORK

Taking a chance with your career By Mandy Garner Ann-Marie Murphy works as a secondary school teacher in the Midlands but after her maternity leave she switched to part-time hours to manage childcare and her job. If the pandemic hadn’t happened, Ann-Marie would have returned to work full time when her daughter started school. As it was, a year later, ‘when she started in Year 1, I was still only working two days a week in school because the pandemic meant it wasn’t guaranteed she’d actually be there and there was also the possibility of needing to home school too,’ explains Ann-Marie. Like many other working mothers, Ann-Marie’s mental health was affected by the pandemic, with her anxiety levels increasing. As a parent, she worried about having to send her daughter to school during Covid, and, as a teacher, she worried about her own exposure to the virus. In a Working Mums (www.workingmums.co.uk) survey of one thousand three hundred working mums, thirty percent of those surveyed mentioned that worries about children’s wellbeing was one factor which contributed to the worsening of their mental health during the pandemic. ‘I work in a school of nearly two thousand children. Very few of them were willing to wear masks and social distancing didn’t exist’ reports Ann-Marie. ‘So all of that really added to a general sense of anxiety.’ Seventy percent of the survey respondents said that the anxiety about lockdowns and Covid generally affected their mental wellbeing and over sixty percent said that home-schooling and

childcare also had an impact. In the same Working Mums survey, only nineteen percent of those surveyed reported that their employer had supported them with their mental health and Ann-Marie did not feel that she was given the support she needed. The pandemic made Ann-Marie reconsider her career. ‘I think teaching is an important job’ says Ann-Marie. ‘But, during the pandemic, schools and teachers have not been treated well. It has made me feel like we’re not really valued and schools have been seen as a way to keep children occupied so that parents can work.’ Sadly, the Working Mums survey shows that Ann-Marie is not alone. Twenty four percent of working mothers state that they are less likely to seek a promotion than they were before Covid. Mandy Garner works for www.workingmums.co.uk, a website which offers employers and job seekers the chance to find home-based, part time and flexible full time jobs.

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But it’s not all bad news! Re-evaluating your career can be really beneficial. Before Covid, Ann-Marie was running different side businesses, the most successful one being an online gifts and cards shop. During the pandemic she decided to start an additional business with her partner, as they were both working from home. The focus of the new business is on digital safeguarding for schools, which includes looking at how images and personal data are used online and managing consent. The pandemic has opened a new door for Ann-Marie, which might have stayed closed under different circumstances. Being exposed to circumstances where she didn’t feel safe at work and in which she felt schools and teachers were being undermined, she wanted to look at creating and building on an opportunity which gives her more freedom over how she works. “I want to do something worthwhile which is helping but where I’ve got more control over my own safety and my timetable. The flexibility seems more important now than ever’ says AnnMarie.

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Families North Yorkshire Magazine 15

Your Family Health Check List

Keeping up with the routine (and non-routine) health checks and appointments for your kids can be time-consuming! Use our handy checklist to help you out. Eye test

Children should have an eye test at the age of 3 years and again just before they start school. An optometrist will then usually recommend a yearly eye test after this.

Dental check Six monthly check-ups are recommended for children from age 1 and children should visit the dentist as soon as their first milk teeth appear.

Orthodontist Has your child’s adult teeth nearly all come through? Ask your dentist whether your child will need a referral to an orthodontist.

Vaccinations If you have a baby or toddler, make sure they have had all their necessary immunisations. Children over 12 can now attend a walk-in centre to receive their Covid vaccine if they haven’t had it at school. Flu vaccinations are available for children ages 2 to 5 and for all school-age children from Reception to year 11.

Other services you may need Podiatrist Does your child complain of pain in their heels? Kids undergoing growth spurts are especially susceptible to plantar fascilitis pain starting at age 8 until around age 13 for girls and age 15 for boys. A podiatrist will advise on footwear to help the problem.

Allergy clinic If your GP provides a referral, your child can get tested at a specialist NHS allergy clinic. You can also get your child tested at a private clinic and pay for their allergy tests. It’s not recommended that you use an at-home allergy testing kit if you suspect your child has an allergy.

Tips: Do you have a family first aid kit? You can make up your own or buy one. Boots Children’s First Aid Kit £13.99

Little Life Excursion Kit £29.99

Everything you need to deal with cuts, grazes, bumps, bruises and bleeding. Comes with handy First Aid guide.

Perfect for family excursions with all the essentials you need.

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