RTN Newspaper - Costa Blanca South 30 March - 5 April 2018 Issue 962

FREE! COSTA BLANCA SOUTH

In memory of quake victims RESIDENTS and dignitaries from the town of Almoradi turned out in force to remember the devastating earthquake that destroyed the area 189 years ago. At precisely midday on March 21 the bells of the Almoradi church rang to start a solemn procession in memory of the 200 people that perished in the quake that wiped out almost every building in the municipality. Every year in Almoradi, its inhabitants parade Saint Emigdio, the patron saint of earthquakes, through the streets of the town, as worshippers pray to the memory of all victims. Almoradi was among a number of municipalities that suffered on that March day, when 63 quakes were recorded in the Alicante and Vega Baja regions.

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Issue 962

30th March - 5th April

Toll-free AP-7 motorway comes closer

INSIDE THIS WEEK ... EASTER TIDINGS

P2 REMOVED: AP-7 to relieve the N-332 traffic issues within two years. (File image)

by Glenn Scott VA L E NC I A’S re g ional gover nment has voted to support the removal of the tolls on the AP-7 motorway. The decision was a unanimous one although the Partido Popular (PP) decided to abstain from the final vote. It ’s at the first stage of implementation, but once the current concession to run the service expires - in this case at the end of December 2019 - the motorway will transfer to public ownership. T he announcement was greeted with cheers from across the area as drivers

look for ward to the time they can use the A P-7 for free and stay away from the busy coastal roads that are often congested... especially in the holiday periods. The notorious traffic jam hot spots along the N-332, such as those in Torrevieja and Cabo Roig, should see immediate bene fits from

the decision as vehicles will be able to completely bypass the towns where tolls are currently in operation. In addition, the Z enia Boulevard shopping centre should be able to attract more visitors from far and wide as the motor way has an exit just a fe w yards away.

EMISSIONS CRACKDOWN TO AFFECT OLD CARS

P4 EVENTS CANCELLED DUE TO HIGH WINDS

P6

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30th March - 5th April Photo Credit: BigKnell Shutterstock

Easter tidings By Peter Purvey EASTER is upon us once again and for many Christians throughout the world it is the most significant date in the ecclesiastical calendar. However, Easter is a movable feast and Easter Sunday, the traditional day of the Resurrection, may be on any Sunday between March 21 and April 25, when using the current Gregorian calendar, but for many the method of calculating the exact day each year remains a mystery. A t a co u n c i l h e l d i n A D 3 2 5 at N i c a e a ( a b o u t 3 0 miles south west of Izmit in present day northern Turkey) it was decided that Easter Sunday should be the first Sunday following the first full moon after the Vernal (Spring) Equinox, which is March 21. Should March 21 itself fall on a Sunday then that would be Easter Day. A look at the March calendar for this year will show that the first full moon after the 21st will be on Saturday, thus the first Sunday after that is the next day which is Easter Sunday. This is the accepted way of calculation by the easter n C hr istian churches, ie Catholic , Ang lican and Protestant churches, but many Or thodox easter n churches still use a different method using the old Julian and Jewish calendars, although the dates coincid-

SPAIN: Has a spectacular tradition of celebrating Easter.

ed in 2014 and 2017. A problem for Rome arose in Britain in the seventh centur y as the Celtic churches’ teachings emanated from the establishments of Iona and Lindesfarn who were teaching different liturgical traditions.

While some were celebrating Easter, others were still fasting during Lent! The matter came to a head at the Synod of Whitby held in 664, the result being the eventual Romanisation of the church in England and the way we calculate the date of Easter being made permanent.

30th March - 5th April

Guardia Civil arrest farm workers Photo credit: Guardia Civil

WORKING under the cover of ‘Operation Rochero’, members of the Guardia Civil across the Murcia Region have arrested three people for stealing significant amounts of farming materials. A total of 23 tons had slowly disappeared over a period of time, valued at exceeding €200,000, and two of those arrested were employed by the owner of the Cartagena-based company that repor ted the thefts. Most of the stolen equipment has since been recovered and returned. The operation began after receiving reports from a company in the agriculture sector in Cartagena following a series of robberies committed over a number of years. T he investigation was left in the hands of the

RETURNED: Tons of agricultural equipment back with rightful owner.

s p e c i a l i s t R O C A te a m who deal with cr imes in the farming industr y they began to gather information from the com-

pany about exactly what had been stolen. T he long list included small and large plastic containers, wooden pallets,

cardboard storage boxes, and a significant number of pipes, hoses and other packaging equipment. A s the investigations proceeded, they realised that two of the company’s employees were probably responsible for the robberies, after discovering that they had sold the stolen items to recycling centres or scrapyards. Once all the evidence had been gathered, the Guardia Civil arrested the two suspects behind the thefts. In addition, another man was detained - believed to be the manager of the scrapyard - in connection with knowingly receiving stolen goods. The three arrested men all of Spanish nationality aged between 36 and 53 - are residents of both Cartagena and La Union and are now all subject to legal procedures.

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Improved bus service CARTAGENA Council has announced more buses will serve the Santa Lucia hospital. This is as a result of collaboration between the council and bus operator ALSA as part of an announcement of new routes and an overall increase in the amount of public transport. The new fleet of buses has also been adapted to help passengers with mobility issues. Also, a pilot minibus service will be introduced in May to cover the western area of Cartagena.

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30th March - 5th April

Fighting them on the beaches... again Photo Credit: Codex-Belix Facebook

BENIDORM’S famous beaches, usually crammed full of sun worshippers for almost every month of the year will see a less familiar sight at the end of the summer. Collaboration between the city council and the Codex-Belix association will see the historic D-Day Normandy landings being recreated along the stretches of sand over the long weekend of Friday September 28 to Sunday September 30. Taking place along the Poniente Beach for the second successive year, closer to Benidorm Old Town, one of the most significant events of the Second World War is being staged by Codex-Belix, an organisation that specialises in recreating events in history. Around 400 people are expected to take part, and in addition to the actual

FLASHBACK: Previous re-enactments of D-Day.

landings a series of camps, trenches and field hospitals will be located in the Parque de Elche (known locally as the Dove Park) and along the Avenida Xixo promenade. There will also be a display of military vehicles and

a selection of memorabilia from the period. Throughout this Holy Week, a total of 5,000 brochures have been distributed around the city to promote the event, with the aim of getting tourists to

think at this early stage about planning their next visit to Benidorm to coincide with this D-Day spectacular, even though it is in September, rather than June, as it was last year.

Emissions crackdown to affect old cars DIESEL cars in the Alicante Province which are 20 years old or more could suffer at the hands of the new Spanish MOT (ITV). Thanks to tighter regulations coming into force in June in respect of controlling polluting emissions, around 72,000 cars could be affected and at risk of disappearing from the roads. The ITV examination will be its toughest yet and will especially look at cars that may have had their engines tampered with to avoid the cost of installing and maintaining anti-pollution systems, such as catalytic converters. The fact that this equipment can cost in the region of â‚Ź900 can lead to people preferring to take the chance and defrauding the system... and not getting caught. New computerised testing will now be able to thoroughly check all the internal electronics of the vehicle and detect any wrongdoing. Figures from the Spanish traffic department (DGT) state that there are almost 200,000 vehicles in the Alicante Province more than 20 years old, accounting for 15 per cent of everything on the roads. The majority are made up of cars (122,000) followed by motorcycles (38,000), vans and lorries (35,000) and 281 buses. Around 60 per cent of those vehicles have a diesel engine. Data from the same source also records that the average age for a car in the Alicante Province is 10.3 years old.

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30th March - 5th April

Illegal bingo venue raided

YOUNG people using the TRAM service can now take advantage of a new scheme that will offer them a 15 per cent discount. The JOVE Bonus-10 scheme will be launched in April but users can already download the new app. The initiative applies to people up to the age of 30. A spokesperson told the Spanish media that the proposals are part of a series of measures announced to improve the TRAM service and to continually promote the use of public transport in Alicante, especially by the younger population. The new app, which is expected to develop over a period of time, allows its users direct access to not only the timetables of the services across the routes operated by the TRAM, but allows them to plan journeys, see the fare schedules, and get details of the different stations along the line. The app is available on both iOS and Android operating systems in Spanish, Valencian and English. This news comes on the same day as it was announced that over a threehour period, only 15 passengers out of the 106 approached had actually paid

Photo credit: Wikimedia

AN illegal bingo operation in Benidorm that mainly attracts British tourists and residents has been dismantled. The raid was carried out by members of the Valencian Autonomous Police Force on a venue in the city as a full house of 100 people had their eyes down. More than €22,000 was seized during the raid. The incident took place on March 15 and has only just been made public by the authorities. The police took special interest in four people involved in running the bingo and immediately confiscated the €1,447 prize money that was being played for on the day of the raid. In addition, four microphones, two electronic bingo machines, 5,000 bingo tickets and a book accounting for money that had been collected was also found and taken away. A further search of the venue found a safe deposit box containing €21,000, all alleged to be takings connected with the illegal bingo. Most of those playing bingo at the time were tourists, and according to the Valencian Community government this isn’t the first time this particular venue has been inspected by the police; and money from illegal gambling has previously been confiscated. Gambling - and playing bingo in particular - is controlled by strict regulations and can only take place with official authorisation. The incident in Benidorm follows on from a similar raid on a venue in the Villamartin area of the southern Costa Blanca back in February when the caller, had his audio equipment confiscated.

Reduced TRAM fares for the under 30’s

DISCOUNT: New app to accompany cheaper fares... for those who pay them. (File image)

for their TRAM journey. The monitoring took place by National Police at the stop that serves the University of Alicante (UA), and result-

ed in all 91 having to pay a fine of €50. Several of the passengers stopped were also arrested for the possession of drugs.

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30th March - 5th April

Events cancelled due to high winds

Photo credit: National Police

FIREFIGHTERS were called out more than 100 times on one day alone as a result of the strong winds experienced across the Costa Blanca. Certain points of Orihuela and Torrevieja were the most affected with gusts reaching 145kph and sporting events and those launching Holy Week were cancelled. During a five hour period on Saturday morning, when the gusts were at their strongest across the Vega Baja, a number of trees toppled over and were removed by the authorities before any further damage could be caused. The alarm was first raised at 6.15am in Orihuela when a palm tree fell over in Calle Doctor Garcia Rogel, and was the beginning of a busy period for the emergency services. Apart from falling trees, masonry was reported coming away from a number of buildings, which had hit parked cars; several lamp posts and traffic signs also suffered damage. In Almoradi, one building saw its solar panels dislodged; such was the force of the gusts. In the northern part of the Costa Blanca, a fire broke out in the La Font area of San Juan which was quickly brought under control before it couuld spread further. The entire coast was put on orange alert after warnings issued by the Spanish State Meteorology Agency (AEMET) which saw municipalities such as Javea, Castalla, Xixona and Callosa d’en Sarria being hit with gusts of 100kph. Benitatxell managed to equal those recorded in Torrevieja with 145kph.

Police catch online fraudsters by Ray Chadwick NATIONAL POLICE operating from Alicante have caught a number of people behind two unrelated scams worth €300,000. There were two separate investigations after a number of people reported their experiences to the authorities. The first operation resulted in two individuals being arrested for swindling people out of €150,000 after selling them top of the range professional cameras online that never reached them. In the second case, a man has already been imprisoned for cheating clients out of €145,000 after managing to convince them to buy non-existent property, also via the internet. The modus operandi of the first two detained was uncovered after meticulous work from the National Police, that saw them investigating across a number of different online sales portals. They offered professional photographic equipment for sale by contacting potential buyers and even sent them in-

ARRESTED: Separate internet scammers detained by National Police in Alicante. (File image)

voices to prove they were a legitimate company. Once ‘sent’, the customers were given a fake tracking number for their order but the goods never arrived. These scams saw them net €154,880. The operation to catch the propertyrelated crook came after an investigation that lasted several months and eventual-

ly traced, identified and arrested the alleged fraudster who scammed €147,400. The defendant used his position in the company to convince clients that there were financial benefits from acquiring, and thus investing in property belonging to companies that had filed for bankruptcy.

30th March - 5th April

Ten Algerians arrested on child assault charges

The Russians are still coming THE Costa Blanca will see a doubling of its flights with Russia this year and as such plans to welcome 300,000 tourists. For some years, towns up and down the Costa Blanca have been popular destinations for Russian tourists, and as from next week Alicante-Elche airport will see two daily flights to Moscow and two weekly flights to St Petersburg. Across Spain, and according to official figures, there are currently 70,000 Russian’s living in the country; 25,000 choosing the Alicante Province as home. Next to Barcelona, Torrevieja is next on the list with 4,300 registered Russian nationals, followed by Alicante (1,500), Orihuela (990), Benidorm (640), Altea (580), Guardamar

Photo credit: Alex Beltyukov Wikimedia

TEN men have been arrested in Alicante for allegedly assaulting three teenagers. The girls had escaped from the juvenile detention centre in the city and were approached by the men who allegedly offered drugs and money before taking them to the property where a series of abuses were carried out. Investigations began in the wake of the girls disappearance being reported to the National Police station in Alicante by the director of a juvenile centre. According to the National Police, one of the girls - only 14-years-old - was locked up in a flat for 24 hours where all the members of the gang repeatedly assaulted and sexually abused her. In addition to the alleged rape of the 14-yearold, the gang also sexually assaulted two other girls aged 15 and 17, although these victims are still being sought by the police investigators. All those arrested are of Algerian nationality, with children being among their number, and were detained as a result of searches of three homes used by the gang to carry out their crimes. To maintain their lifestyles, the gang carried out a series of robberies with force in both private homes and in shops and businesses in the area, later selling their booty on the black market. During the raids, police found 15 mobile phones, four bicycles and various computer and other pieces of stolen electrical equipment.

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DOUBLE: Aircraft from Siberia Airlines will be seen more at Alicante-Elche airport. (File image)

(475), Calpe (429) and Rojales (389). T he Costa Blanca has surpassed the Costa del Sol in the preferences for Russian tourists because they prefer the climate com-

pared to that experienced in Marbella. In addition, prices of property and the costs of day-to-day living better suit the Russian pocket. According to data re-

leased by the Valencian Tourism Agency, Russian tourism grew by 14.1 per cent in 2017, with 176,000 people visiting the country. 85 per cent of those chose the Alicante Province.

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30th March - 5th April Photo credit: U.S. Air Force photo Wikimedia

BEST FRIEND: Popular UK initiative comes to Murcia. (File image)

Visiting dogs to aid the elderly by Darren Parmenter ‘PETS AS THERAPY’, has been a popular scheme in the UK for a number of years. The project that allows animals to visit old people’s homes will now be experienced by a number of people living in Murcia. For this area, it’s a pioneering initiative that will see around 40 residents of the Virgen del Valle senior citizens centre benefit from having a group of dogs visit them to boost self-esteem and to offer some much needed company. This is especially true for those who have had to leave their faithful dogs at home or with relatives and friends when they moved into the centre located in El Palmar.

After a pilot test which was carried out in October, the Virgen del Valle is now the first centre to launch this method of ‘Alternative Therapies with Animals’ (TAA) for elderly people in public residences in the region. Experts believe that the interaction with dogs can greatly benefit a human’s nervous system, and is a perfect complement to conventional therapies such as physiotherapy, occupational therapy or psychology. The aim is to allow the dogs into the centre every three months. The El Palmar residential home has recently been refurbished at a cost of €300,000 which has allowed an extension of 300m2 to the premises, as well as making the access to the outside garden areas more comfortable.

Torrevieja unveils first class post offices SPANISH post office service Correos has renovated two of its branches in La Mata and San Roque in Torrevieja. They have been completely refurbished and now offer more space for the growing number of customers. Users of the La Mata Correos (on Calle Purificacion) and the Torrevieja neighbourhood of San Roque (on Calle Desiderio Rodriguez) will experience modernised offices decorated in the corporate blue and grey colours that accompany the traditional bright yellow. More lighting - both natural and artificial - has been installed, enhanced by the white furniture that

gives a greater feeling of space. The rebuilt post offices contain extra customer service points as well as post boxes and new stands for a wide range of stationery and packaging products. All the improvements come as a result of advice from, and a number of consultations with, around 200 employees and representatives of several organisations working with the disabled. In addition to the traditional services offered by Correos, customers can also purchase tickets for a multitude of national events and pay bills from a range of different suppliers... all in a new, modern and comfortable environment.

vv

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30th March - 5th April

Time for a water price cap Photo credit: Steven Depolo Flickr

TAP OR CAP: Authorities react to passenger price complaints. (File image)

by Darren Parmenter IN response to a number of complaints from passengers to the authorities, airports in Spain will have to cap the amount they charge for bottled water. The maximum permitted is now €1.60. In addition, they will be installing drinking fountains in the airport complex. Travellers make the point that they’re not allowed to take any water on to their plane due to restriction on the amount of liquid permitted through security, currently a maximum of 100 millilitres. However, once they get to the other side of the barriers, vending machines sell the bottled water at very high prices. Depending on the airport, the price range of a

330ml bottle of still water can be as much as €3, which is similar to rates being charged on the aircraft. For some time, people have waited for the law to change on the amount of liquid allowed on board but there is nothing on the horizon. To get over the restrictions, some travellers have been known to take empty water bottles through security and then fill them from the taps in the toilets; although the quality can’t always be trusted. AENA, the airport managers, have promised that in future the cost of a bottle of water will be no higher than €1.60... but they haven’t said what size that bottle will be. In addition, public, free, drinking fountains are expected to be installed in all airports across Spain.

30th March - 5th April

Spain-wide gang behind 40 robberies arrested Photo credit: Guardia Civil

by Darren Parmenter SEVEN people across the country have been arrested as a result of dismantling a group of thieves suspected to be responsible for at least 40 robberies. Three of those detained were caught in Torrevieja, Los Montesinos and the Orihuela Costa, with the others coming from Barcelona and Laredo (Cantabria). In addition to the 40 robberies, the Guardia Civil also believe that they’re responsible for several cases of holding fake documentation and using false number plates on cars they had stolen. The total value of the jewellery, cash and vehicles stolen is estimated to be around ₏350,000. Those arrested are between 17 and 34 years old, all Albanians, with the youngest already having been sent to a juvenile detention centre. Two of the adults have

DISCOVERED: Guardia Civil finding a number of stolen items.

been imprisoned, with the remainder released on police bail. Their modus operandi was to use fast cars (that they had stolen) to travel long distances from their safe houses to carry out their robberies. On occasions they even travelled from one province to another to commit their crimes, usually around dusk, so they could see if lights were on in houses. During their well coordi-

nated operations, they were always in contact with each other using walkie-talkies instead of mobile phones in another attempt not to have their communications intercepted. However, despite all the precautions taken the Guardia Civil were able to monitor their activities - even knowing where they hid the stolen items - and eventually identified the gang to carry out the arrests.

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NATIONAL

30th March - 5th April

Beware... don’t get goosed A PUBLIC park in the Spanish city of Badajoz is wondering what to do with its recent influx of tourists... of the feathered variety. They have been overwhelmed with the number of geese that appear to be multiplying like rabbits and taking over the area. Experts believe, however, that they could be posing a health risk. Back in 2015, and without any explanation,

around 40 geese showed up in a newly built park alongside the Guadiana river in Badajoz in the west of the country. In 2016, their population expanded but in 2017 it simply exploded... and nobody knows what to do with them. The original 40 has now increased to 500; and with the breeding season approaching there will no doubt be many more arriving shortly.

Nobody knows for certain where they came from originally. It’s a mystery that has stumped local experts, city officials and even those from the regional Extremadura government. However, there are two theories doing the rounds. The first is that a short distance away is another public park that has geese and some may have escaped to make a home elsewhere. The second is that some local people were keeping geese as pets and abandoned them in the park when it opened.

Mayor of Badajoz, Francisco Javier Fragoso, said: “We built this park for the people... not the geese! There could be around 1,000 of them by the summer and this would pose a health risk to our 150,000 residents.” There are two solutions being discussed at the moment. One is to cull a significant number of the geese, whereas the other is to take up the offer of a private company who wants to turn them into pate. Photo credit: J Dimas Flickr

BREEDING: More than 1,000 geese expected in Badajoz Park this summer. (File image)

A WOMAN who was involved in a ‘video prank’ has been awarded €60,000 in compensation. The incident goes back to February 2015 when the 48year-old woman - who has not been named - was about to use a pedestrian crossing on the Avenida Diagonal in Barcelona. According to police reports, she was chosen at random

Photo credit: Lofor Wikimedia

Video prank ‘for a laugh’ costs €60,000

NOT FUNNY: Location of Barcelona ‘attack’. (File image) by Mario Garcia Montealegre (from Talavera de la Reina in Toledo) who thought it would be ‘a laugh’ to simply go up to a strange woman from behind and, without warning, kick her legs away from under her. The ‘attack’ was also filmed by an accomplice of the man on a mobile device and then subsequently shared across social media platforms ‘for a laugh’. The video was report-

ed by a number of concerned viewers to the Mossos d’Esquadra (Catalan Regional Police force), who immediately began investigating to find the culprit. The Mossos even made a special appeal on YouTube encouraging people to come forward and identify the people. “Help us catch this son of a bitch who thinks it’s funny to attack innocent people” was the less than subtle message. After three years, Montealegre turned up out of the blue at his Local Police station to hand himself in, and has agreed to pay his victim €60,000 to avoid a prison sentence. The woman was unable to work for several months following the attack in the street due to suffering injuries to an ankle, knee and wrist, as well as experiencing cervical pain.

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30th March - 5th April

A chance to work for Disney Paris

“Teacher arrested over child abuse claims in Torrevieja” Furhat Subla Really shocking. What is retirement age for a teacher in academy!

Credit: Pexels

HAVE YOUR SAY

THE Spanish government organisation Eures has issued a release encouraging young people around the Costa Blanca to take part in an open audition in Madrid on April 13. Disneyland Paris is looking for energetic and talented people for their characters and parade department If your idea of a perfect job is to perform as a famous Disney character, taking part in the daily parades or cavalcades (a basic dance level required) or just dream of becoming a Disney princess or prince then here is the perfect opportunity to apply. There are 50 full-time and WANTED: Disney princesses and princes.

part-time (May to November) positions available for people with a height of 137 to 192 cm and candidates must speak English or French and be a minimum of 18-years-old. Those attending the audition, which may last until 6pm, are advised to wear

Jenny Hewkin What has retirement age got to do with anything? Some people wish to continue working it has nothing to do with what this guy did.

comfortable clothing as they will need to participate in a combination of movement and dance and strictly no make-up is allowed. All applicants should bring a pen and CV (which will be kept) with them and are advised that transportation costs to attend the audition

will be for their account and no financial reimbursement will be made, although those who are successful may be assisted with accommodation once they start work. The audition will be start at 10am Teatros del Canal, C/ Cea Bermudez 1, 28003 Madrid.

@RTNNewspaper Most liked posts from this week • Costa Blanca woman arrested after falsely reporting her kidnap

• Lisa Brown’s family launch fresh appeal in Spain with £100,000 reward • Man arrested after groping three women in 15 minutes • Teacher arrested over child abuse claims in Torrevieja

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30th March - 5th April

17

RTN Feature by Jennifer Cunningham

TIME marches on. Thousands of words are spoken and still there is great optimism in the UK that Brexit is going to bring wealth, prosperity and a standing in the world similar to that from the past. Personally I think that is going to require a miracle. Needing to be part of a collection of countries when the world is a very dangerous place to live in, became apparent when Theresa May flew to Brussels to request help and support regarding the dreadful situation with the nerve gas poisoning in Salisbury. Will this be able to continue at the same level? No doubt due to the unsettled situation, sadly the British are not coming to Spain in the numbers they used to. They are being superseded by other nationalities. Let’s hope this reverts very soon when we are made to feel a little bit more secure on deciding to make Spain our home. You will need, if you are resident or non-resident, to be registered to either pay or prove that you are paying taxes outside of Spain. Please do not ignore this legal requirement because there are

Wills, taxes and Residencia more taxes than IBI and Basura to be assessed, especially if you are a resident, and a huge fine could follow if you do not comply. If you are thinking of making a Will, can I suggest that you do this as soon as possible, as without a Will the problems, time and money that this will cost your loved ones, can be extremely high and stressful. If you are living with a person who dies, and you are not a blood relative, then it could turn into a nightmare, especially if the deceased has a son, who in Spanish law can supersede a commonlaw relative. There is also the cost of dealing with a death, and having no life insurance or funeral plan, or the provision to pay the inheritance tax, finding these amounts of money fairly quickly, could cause a very unpleasant and worrying time for your loved ones. Everything I have mentioned here has been gained by the experience of others and myself. You must take on board that there is no help available from the government of Spain, you are on your own. But you have no need to be. My very professional associates can ease this situation if you contact them and take their advice. I appreciate that my company is an in-

surance company, however there is no point in just protecting your car and your house, you need to protect your family. Once again we can help you with a bespoke life insurance policy, which can be as little as â‚Ź120 per year. Can you afford not to do this, because sadly accidents and illness do happen? You need to make all these decisions if you choose to live in Spain, to keep you and your family secure. You know it makes sense. All you have to do is visit www.expatservicesspain.net and contact my company for more information and to arrange an appointment with our associates. When considering contacting us for your insurance, please remember that Liberty Seguros, the company I deal with, has a special division for expatriates. Please do not take this terminology lightly as the investment in the expatriate policies is very high, as they are different policies to those offered on the Spanish marketplace. For example, when calling for the grua, check how much distance is covered by your insurance, as in most cases this is limited and over that level you will need to pay, which is not cheap. Also the telephone number you call to make a claim is

usually a premium number, which can be very costly. Liberty Seguros offers unlimited grua mileage, and you can call my office on a local number to speak with my claims administrator, who of course is bilingual and there to assist you. The house policy offered by Liberty Seguros is comprehensive and despite what you can be told, other house policies in Spain, I can assure you, do not have the same coverage. There is even a certain amount of water cover available, which is unique. When you consider the house purchase is the biggest purchase you make, please do not go on price alone and false promises. All the Liberty Seguros policies mentioned offer a cashback bonus at the moment for all new business, so now is the time to change. I can also assure you that on renewal you will not be given a huge increase on your premium, as can often happen when you are given a very unrealistic cheap price for your insurance. For more information contact one of my offices or visit my website www.jennifer cunningham.net. My consultants are there to help you with good honest advice, supported by one of the biggest insurance companies in the world.

30th March - 5th April

PEP GUARDIOLA was fined about £20,000 (€22,000) by the FA for using a political symbol and making political statements at a sporting event. Pep said that ‘they’ did not understand what it was about, well Pep let’s see what we do understand! The latest anarchy started when the previous president, Mas, held an illegal referendum and was fined five million euros and is now facing criminal charges. He was unable to get enough support to continue and put forward Puigdemont as president. The Spanish prime minister immediately gave his deputy Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría the job to negotiate a solution to the problem and she held meetings with Puigdemont. Prime Minister Rajoy and the King also met with Puigdemont and Rajoy held meetings with the opposition groups. The fiscal general presented their argument to the Supreme Court and the court ruled that it was illegal and ordered the Catalan Mossos Police

Photo Credit: Pep Team Twitter

by David Hudson

Is Pep right about the English? to seize all ballot boxes, documents and papers. They ignored the order and the Guardia Civil tried to carry out the order finding a large number of boxes and papers in the Barcelona FC stadium. Puigdemont announced the date for the ballot. The first time I realised that this was going to be a violent ballot was the week before when Puigdemont held a rally in Tarragona. The emotive language was a carrion call to fight for independence. The following week the university students joined the extremists looking for a fight. The schools were shown a propaganda film with five-yearolds waving the Republic flag, telling the students to fight for independence. A group of children, some sucking dummies, blocked a carriageway with protest signs. Eight professors were charged with inciting violence

to their students. The violence spilled onto the circular roads with fires blocking the carriageways. Guardia Civil vans were destroyed, Mossos Police stood aside, even helping to return boxes and open the buildings. This put heavy pressure on the National Police and the Guardia Civil. An overhead shot showed a thin line of police trying to hold back thousands of violent demonstrators. Over 40 police officers were badly injured. The Post Office did not release postal votes, 200 mayors refused to hold the vote and there was not a list of voters to check. One town with 7,000 people had 12,000 votes! Puigdemont unilaterally announced independence. Half a million Catalans protested in Barcelona demanding to remain united with Spain. With the majority of opposition

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PEP GUARDIOLA: Wearing his yellow ribbon. support Rajoy got permission from the Senate house to activate Article 155 that allowed dissolution of the Catalan government and hold new elections. With the full support of both houses of parliament, Rajoy set about regaining Spanish soil since the unity in 1491. Puigdemont and five cabinet members fled to Belgium. A number were arrested including the Mossos chief. Mossos special powers were reduced. The Guardia stopped the Mossos from burning tons of papers and found that €6.2 million were stolen from the taxpayers to pay for the campaign. At the latest demonstration for unity a speaker said that

the independistas want war. Yes Pep we do know what is happening and as the Spanish King said, democracy was delicate and relied on everyone abiding by the constitution because it protects the vulnerable. After the Second World War the British people decided that they would not go back to the old order. They used parliament to achieve free health and education and benefit support for the vulnerable, not violence. Pep you are in a country that believes in the law to achieve change, not ignore it, something that you have not grasped.

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30th March - 5th April

Open questions

Basic Spanish for everyday needs

by Jane Cronin

IN the last article we started looking at the difference between closed and open questions, and how to form them. The explanation for this takes a bit of time, but it is worth making the effort because it gives us the key to asking questions properly in Spanish, and therefore getting the replies we are looking for! Last week we said that a closed question is one that calls for a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. “Do you live in Spain?” is a closed question, as the initial response is ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Of course in reality we would rarely answer with just one word as this would sound too abrupt. We would probably say “Yes, I do actually” or “No, I don’t unfortunately”, or we would give more information: “Well yes I do most of the time, but we do visit family in the UK a couple of times a year”. However, these lengthier responses do not alter the fact that the original question is a closed one. To make a closed question in Spanish, all we have to do is make an affirmative statement sound like a question with our voice. Here is the statement: “You live in Spain” - “Vives en España”. Now to make it a question: “Do you live in Spain?” -

“¿Vives en España?” There is no change in the order of the words, and neither do we include any equivalent of the word ‘Do’. As you can see, when writing the question we also add an upside down question mark at the front the sentence. Here is a longer closed question which you will see adopts exactly the same principle. “Does your brother’s wife play tennis on Saturdays”? To get to this in Spanish we first have to make it into a statement: “Your brother’s wife plays tennis on Saturdays”. Then we translate the statement making the question with our voice: “¿La mujer de tu hermano juega al tenis los sábados?” So, what then are open questions, and how to do they work? An open question ASKING QUESTIONS: The Spanish way. requires a response that consists of more information than just ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Also, an tion. Although it may sound obvious, it is open question begins with what we call a also important to note the fact that the re‘question word’. An easy example is: sponse is prompted by the question word “Where do you live?” We cannot correctitself. In other words ‘Where’ calls for the ly answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to this, we are name of a place, ‘When’ asks for a time, obliged by the question to name a loca‘Who’ asks for a person, ‘Why’ asks for a

reason and so on. So, this is how we make an open question in Spanish. We start with the question word, or small group of words which create the question. Often this is one word: ‘Dónde’, ‘Cuándo ‘, ‘Quién’, but it can be two: ‘Por qué’, ‘De dónde’ and can also include other ideas: “Cuántos hijos” (How many children?) “De qué colour” (What colour?) The next item in the open question is the verb, giving us “¿Dónde vives? (Where do you live?) “¿Cuántos hijos tienes?” (How many children have you got?) “¿Por qué estás corriendo?” (Why are you running?). So far we have looked at examples that are addressing questions to ‘you’, that is questions in the second person. Although the structure might seem very easy, we need to keep it in mind to move on to asking questions in the third person, about ‘he’ or ‘she. We will look at that next week, and hopefully I’ll also have enough room for some more Spanish to translate. See you then!

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LINEA DIRECTA: Offer a valuable professional service.

response, because a particular query requires more in-depth research or additional legal consultations, then a response will be provided within a maximum 24 hours. 24-hour emergency legal consultations For emergency cases, regardless of the time of day or night, customers may consult specialist legal advice, which due to the gravity of the situation, cannot wait. Examples of these types of ‘emergency situations’ are any incidents relating to the home being burgled, domestic violence, or emergency travel matters. Attendance of a lawyer Should the insured be arrested as a result of a road traffic offence, Linea Directa will provide them with a lawyer at the corresponding police station to assist them with any preliminary police statements. This assistance will be provided within four hours of the request for the service.

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30th March - 5th April

21

Information wars

by Michael Walsh

keyboardcosmetics@gmail.com MICHAEL, your friends have loved your posts 28,000 times! We’re glad that you're getting support from your friends, and hope that this has made the world feel a little bit closer. Actually, this irritating Facebook message, which appears often, reminded me once again of just how stupid, insipid and out of touch this utility has become. Imagine, you decide to call your son, but before you connect a California-based recorded piece of programming tells you the forecast for Torrevieja is rain; ‘be prepared, Michael’. That does not reassure me that I am an individual in an inclusive world. It reminds me that I am Citizen Smith under 24hour observation by George Orwell’s supreme Big Brother aka Mark Zuckerberg. If I think I might be overreacting I get a kick in the pants reminder a few days later. Sitting

NOT POPULAR: A younger and perhaps more idealistic Mark Zuckerberg. at my laptop I have it in mind to tell other users breaking news. However, the last time I posted a comment it offended one of Facebook’s 20,000 moderators (censors). Deemed to have breached Facebook standards 30 days will pass before I can use Facebook again. I cannot think of a user who has-

n’t had service denied because of some innocuous meme or comment. A Danish travel service was blocked for posting an image of the bare-breasted mermaid statue in Copenhagen harbour. Advice from the glib is to stop using Facebook. They overlook the fact that social media has evolved into an essential com-

munications and business tool to rival that of any other utility. Facebook, and the internet in general, are now a more important source of information than conventional media. This is why the human face (sic) of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, is now in the crosshairs of corporate owned media.

Mainstream doesn’t like the new boy on the block. The less controlled internet reduces mainstream’s once absolute control of the political narrative. NATO West’s anti-Russian trade war failed abysmally. Sanctions proved to be a massive own goal. The EU lost markets whilst creating a more self-sufficient, more successful Russian economy. The information war isn’t going too well either. Every attempt to vilify Vladimir Putin has failed. The usual strategy of first creating a war psychosis has come to nothing. NATO is still provoking Russia whilst their Chinese ally is calling the US to account. The cornered rat in Washington DC now intends to fight its way out. To do this they must regain omnipotent control over people’s minds as they did before their earlier preplanned conflicts (and outcome). This is why Zuckerberg is the new hate figure. He will likely lose the information war because his arrogant insolence and his continued belief that Facebook customers are ‘dumb f******’ has earned Zuckerberg no allies at all.

Mike Walsh’s opinions are his own and do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers advertisers or sponsors.

22

30th March - 5th April

Advertising Feature

Relax at the ‘best beach hotel’ SOMETIMES we just don’t appreciate what is right on our doorstep, but a break away at the Costa Narejos Hotel and Spa can invigorate your senses and refresh your appreciation for the beauty and delight of Spain. Situated in Los Alcazares it benefits from being just metres from the beautiful beaches and calm waters of the Mar Menor. It is the ideal spot and base from which to rediscover or explore for the first time nearby cities of Murcia and Cartagena or the hidden delights of the small towns and villages scattered along the coast of the Mar Menor. But if all that sounds a little too energetic there is really no reason why you shouldn't just enjoy some rest and relaxation in the spacious and comfortable hotel. Rooms are accessed via panoramic lifts, come with free Wi-Fi, flat-screen TVs and mini-

RELAX: Soak up the sun around the pool area. bars. Larger suites with living areas offer extra space and two bedroom family rooms are also available. The four-star hotel also boasts a pool, children’s pool and outdoor Jacuzzi as well as fitness centre and spa complete with Jacuzzi, Finnish sauna, steam bath, mas-

FOOD DELIGHT: Buffet style meals mean there is something for everyone. sage and beauty treatments. There are numerous lounge areas for reading, meeting with friends and family or to just sit and watch the world go by and for food lovers you will be spoilt for choice with a varied buffet offered daily in the restaurant. A cafeteria provides more casual surroundings for drinks

and snacks and hosts the entertainment programme. So to experience the best beach hotel for yourself, call or email now to book. The best thing is, mention RTN and you can enjoy a free stay. Dates are available from April 2 - May 10; from May 15 - May 31; and September 16 - October 27 based on two to

ENJOY: The facilities at the Costa Narejos Hotel and Spa. three people sharing a room. All that is required is that breakfast (€10) and evening meal (€27) are purchased, but at less than €37 per person per night including food, the Costa Narejos offers great value for money. A free spa circuit is also included as part of the offer.

To book, or to receive a price quotation for other dates, email info@hotelcostanarejos.com. Hotel Costa Narejos - Los Alcazares - Mar Menor • Tel 968 583 980 • Visit www.hotelcostanarejos.com.

30th March - 5th April

23

Advertising Feature

With Liberty Seguros, take more, get more WHETHER you are an existing or new customer of Liberty Seguros, now is the time to take out insurance cover on your car, home or life. You may ask why? Well, until June 25, existing customers who take out a new policy on one or all of these types of covers can get €60 cashback on each one. That means, for example, if you contract a new car policy plus a home policy and a life policy you can get €180 on all three. Alternatively if you take just one, you’ll get €60 cashback, or two €120 and so on. New clients will also benefit. They will get €30 cashback on the first policy they take out and for all subsequent new policies €60 each. Again as an example, the first is a car policy providing €30 cashback and if a home and life policy is contracted too that’s another €120, making a possible

cashback total of €150. There is no limit to cashback whether you’re an existing or new customer! What better time could there be to switch to Liberty for even greater savings and tip top cover for all types of insurances. Over 175,000 expatriate clients already chose Liberty as their insurance provider and this figure grows almost every day because of the excellent service and quality of cover clients get. The main condition is that premiums are paid by direct debit and all cashback is credited to the same bank account. For convenience, payments can be set up either in Spain or in your home country bank account, as long as it is within the Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA) zone. Customers must be aware that these offers are not for renewals or

INSURANCE COVER: Liberty Seguros are offering cashback to all their customers. replacements and apply to new comprehensive car, home and life insurance. In some cases, minimum premiums will apply to be eligible for the cashback. Some other conditions may apply. Liberty Seguros will continue its commitment to reward loyalty to existing customers. They value their customers and will do their utmost to offer the best service and price possible.

In order to achieve this and to assist those who prefer a more personalised service, Liberty Seguros has an extensive network of 300 brokers who are dedicated to providing friendly, expert advice. Speaking your own language, these brokers are available to dis-

cuss, face-to-face, the cover that will be right for you. With insurance, not only for car and home, but also life, pet, business, commercial, leisure, public liability and personal injury, today Liberty Seguros is considered the expatriates number one choice in Spain.

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30th March - 5th April

Advertising Feature

Spring is a great time to visit Madrid

watching in the social hub of this lively city, the huge Plaza Mayor. Wherever you turn, wherever you go, you will always find yet another thing to see in this lively capital city.

Park

Afterwards, sightseers spill into the streets and mingle with other visitors to visit Alameda cathedral or sit amongst the greenery of the Plaza Oriente sipping a glass of wine in a streetside cafe. Alternatively, go people

STROLL: Around the Royal Palace.

Relax in the Buen Re tiro

RELAX: In the Buen Retiro park. edia Credit: Daderot Wikip

THE intense, summer heat has not yet started and in the Buen Retiro park children play on the grass, the rowing boats on the pond fill with people of all ages and young lovers stroll hand in hand down tree-lined avenues. Of Madrid’s many museums, the most outstanding are clustered together in the same area, making a day of art and culture a distinct possibility. The Prado Museum is widely seen as the world’s greatest gallery of classic paintings Credit: Pravdaverit a Wikipedia and is definitely one not to miss. Across the road from the PraPEOPLE WATCH: In the Plaza do, the Thyssen Museum offers Mayor. one of the finest private collections shops, cafes, restaurants, bars, of artistic objects ever assembled. cinemas and theatres. Round the corner in the Riena A visit to the Royal Palace, Sofia Art Centre you can experiwhich is much larger than Buckence a superb collection of coningham Palace, takes us through temporary art including Pablo Pithe centuries of royal life in the casso’s ‘Guernica’. Iberian Peninsula. You could easily If you get ‘museumed-out’ head spend a whole day just at the to the Gran Via. A wander up the palace. Gran Via offers a huge range of

Also to be found here are the grounds of not one but two major football clubs. The lesser known Athletico Madrid and the internationally famous Real Madrid, whose Santaigo Bernabau stadium is really worth a visit. This magnificent city has so much to offer, that you will simply run out of time trying to do it all.

You can do all this using a 3* city centre hotel, B&B, with travel and accommodation included for only €169 from April 24 to 26. To book online visit www.coachtripsonline.com or simply call David’s Coachtrips direct on (0034) 966 785 910.

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30th March - 5th April

by Colin Bird

I FIND it amazing, but strangely satisfying, that a country the size of England can have such a collection of dialects that flourish within its limited borders and still remain distinctively diverse in spite of the mobility of the indigenous workforce. It’s true that some accents have become watered down and because of its proximity to London, my home town of Reading has developed its own strange amalgam of idioms, tinged with only the merest hint of the old rural dialect. Thankfully the original Berkshire burr can still be found in the outlying towns and villages of the county where locals sit on five bar gates, chewing straw and playing banjos. When it comes to the Newcastle dialect; well it remains a mystery to me. I have a friend from my days spent abroad, who hails from that northeastern city who, when he gets excited, becomes almost unintelligible. Having lived in East Anglia for many years, I became attuned to some of the subtle differences be-

Yer ‘tis

Photo Credit: Sludge G flickr

The opinions published in Colin’s weekly column are not necessarily representative of those of the publishers, advertisers or newspaper sponsors.

THE SINGING POSTMAN: Hev Yew Gotta Loight Boi?

tween the Suffolk and Norfolk patois and often not picked up on by nonresidents. I learned early on that this is a good

thing, because offence can easily be taken if mistakenly identified as one of the foreigners from across the border. The term ‘boy’ for example, when

referring to a third party male, is one commonly used by both sides, but the pronunciation is slightly different and in Norfolk the word is pronounced ‘boi’, whereas in Suffolk he is simply addressed as ‘b’, pronounced ‘buh’. An object lesson in word economy. Someone once described the Norfolk dialect as a language encapsulated in its landscape, with long vowels and wide horizons. I suppose it was back in the 60’s that it became famous when a certain Allan Smethurst, aka The Singing Postman released a record entitled ‘Hev Yew Gotta Loight Boi?’ The song was a huge success and soon had everyone mimicking it. The Cornish brogue is another distinctive dialect and having lived in that lovely county for two years, it brings back warm memories of days long past. I remember the first time that I was greeted by one of the locals when he enquired: “Ow are ee me ‘ansum?” It wasn’t that he had his eyes on me, but ‘me ‘ansum’, ‘me luverr’ and ‘me bird’ are common greetings in this south-west corner. Going into Devon is regarded as crossing into England, and once just having returned from a weekend in Exeter, an old fisherman of my acquaintance enquired: “Egzeder! Likun diddy?” I told him I likun’ed it a lot.

RTN Life

Grease is the word NO matter what music you like, many people have a secret pleasure and almost everyone of a certain age has sung and danced along to at least one number from the musical Grease. Loosely based on the real life adventures of the writer, it became a stage musical which has toured the world and is loved for amateur productions and school performances, whilst the movie THE CAST: On stage in an earlier performance. made mega stars of John Travolta and Olivia Newton John. It’s a love story with song and dance that comes from the American 1950’s yet manages to strike a chord with audiences around the world. Recordando (Remembering) Grease is a fast-moving tribute to the musical and revolves around an invitation that a middle-aged couple receive from former schoolmates to attend a Grease-themed party which includes a dance contest. With 18 artists on stage, six musicians, four singers and eight dancers, all of the favourites from the show such as Greased Lightning, Summer Nights, Hopelessly Devoted to You will be included, but with new interpretations and musical arrangements that won’t disappoint. This will be a rock’n’roll party that takes place at the El Batel in Cartagena on Saturday April 14, with performances at 6pm and 9.30pm. Tickets cost €25, €28 and €30 from the El Batel website or through agencies. Anyone who goes will find it difficult to stay in their seats for long.

30th March - 5th April

by Barry Duke

A LESSON I learned on the very first day I took a holiday in Spain decades before I settled here, is that one shot of one’s favourite tipple is roughly the equivalent of three measures in the UK. It was a lesson I never forgot because I spent the first two days of my holiday in Sitges driving the porcelain bus in my selfcatering apartment and nursing two black eyes sustained when a lamp post came out of the blue and hit me in the face. The only time I was ever that ill was two years earlier on a choppy crossing from the UK to Holland. When I told the Dutch barman on the ferry that I had never been on a sea trip before and was concerned that I might suffer motion sickness, he said “I have just the thing that will make sure you stay ok.” He reached for a bottle marked Genever, explained that it was a form of medicinal gin created especially in the Netherlands for nervous landlubbers and that it would guarantee me a trouble-free passage. After I necked four - or was it five large ones? - I fell off my bar stool and crawled to the deck, where I spent almost eight hours hanging over the side chucking up a week’s intake of food into the roiling North

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Boozers and bruises Sea. The hangover that followed lasted three days. Unlike my brush with alcohol poisoning in Sitges, this was not a self-inflicted episode. In this case I was the victim of a Dutch practical joke and I vowed that if I ever met that barman again I would drown him in a tank of Genever. Now you can forgive firsttime visitors to Spain for overindulging. They simply aren’t aware of how generous the spirit measures are. The results are rarely pretty, although sometimes amusing. A while back an attractive young newcomer to Benidorm got chatting to me in a pub and asked whether I would give him a tour of the many gay bars in the Old Town. At the time he appeared totally sober and I readily agreed. We were in our third pub when he popped out for a cigarette. When he failed to return after 15 minutes I went out to find him. He was nowhere to be seen. Just then a Spanish guy shouted out to me and pointed to a nearby wheelie bin. Puzzled, I looked in, and there was Brett, comatose in the rubbish. It took me a while to revive him, and half an hour get him sober enough to tell me where he was staying.

BEWARE: The demon drink! Naturally, I felt partly responsible for him getting into that state, and felt obliged to bundle him in a taxi and accompany him back to his hotel. I understand that people can inadvertently get plastered by not realising how large and inexpensive alcohol measures here can be, but I have no sympathy for those who

set out with the sole aim of getting crocked in the shortest time possible, then end up disgracing themselves by throwing up in the street, walking into walls, and getting beaten up after picking fights with strangers. Far worse, some die as a result of falling off, or jumping from balconies. A couple of years back Spanish media reported that, in a five-year period, more than a dozen people were killed in jumps or falls from balconies, mainly in the Balearic Islands, and that the Son Espases hospital in Palma de Majorca - a major trauma centre - had treated 46 people for serious injuries at cost to the Spanish economy of €1.5 million. More than 60 per cent of those treated were from the UK, and almost all were drunk at the time of their accidents. Most Spanish people I speak to simply cannot understand why foreign visitors feel the need to abuse alcohol in this way. Spain, despite having the largest number of bars in the EU - almost 300,000 - has virtually no problems with drunkenness and alcoholism, according to a 2015 El Pais report, which also said that Spain enjoys the best life expectancy and health in the EU. Sure, the Spanish like their drink, but would rather die than publicly disgrace themselves by getting smashed in the way far too many tourists do.

FRIDAY 10:00am Painting the Holy Land 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm The Sheriffs are Coming 12:45pm Claimed and Shamed 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News at One 2:15pm BBC London News 2:25pm 102 Dalmatians 4:00pm Escape to the Country 5:00pm Money for Nothing 5:45pm Flog It! 6:45pm Pointless 7:30pm BBC News 7:50pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 8:40pm The Silent Child 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm Room 101 10:00pm MasterChef 10:30pm Mrs. Brown's Boys

7:00am Money for Nothing 7:45am Escape to the Country 8:30am Nature's Weirdest Events 9:30am Tinker Bell and the Secret of the Wings 10:40am Muppets Most Wanted 12:15pm Six Puppies and Us 1:15pm Growing Up Wild 2:15pm Coast 2:50pm Canterbury Cathedral 3:50pm Talking Pictures 4:35pm The Robe 6:45pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:30pm Eggheads 8:00pm The Repair Shop 8:30pm Mastermind 9:30pm Gardeners' World 10:00pm Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago 11:00pm Episodes

9:20am Wishfart 9:35am Wishfart 9:50am Scrambled! Sketch Show 10:20am Mission Employable 10:25am K-9 12:15pm King Ralph 2:15pm Countrywise 2:40pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:50pm ITV News London 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Dickinson's Real Deal 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Paul O'grady: For the Love of Dogs 7:30pm ITV News London 7:45pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Love Your Garden 9:30pm Coronation Street 10:00pm Furious 7 12:30am ITV News at Ten and Weather

10:00am 10:30am 11:00am 11:30am 12:00pm 12:30pm 1:00pm 1:30pm 2:00pm 2:30pm 3:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 4:30pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm

New Girl New Girl 2 Broke Girls 2 Broke Girls Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Hollyoaks Extreme Cake Makers 9:00pm Fantastic Four 11:00pm Five Star Hotel 12:05am The Big Bang Theory

9:20am Digby Dragon 9:35am Rusty Rivets 9:55am Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05am Mofy 10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:10pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 1:05pm 5 News Lunchtime 1:10pm Home and Away 1:40pm Neighbours 2:10pm Shenandoah 4:15pm The Searchers 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:25pm 5 News Tonight 7:35pm Kensington Palace: Fit for a Princess 9:00pm Britain's Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson 10:00pm Jane Mcdonald and Friends 11:00pm Will and Grace 11:30pm Football on 5 12:30am Football on 5

7:00am

Gadget Gang in Outer Space 8:40am Chokeslam 10:30am Despicable Me 3 12:05pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 2:25pm Going in Style 4:05pm Gadget Gang in Outer Space 5:40pm Whisky Galore! Remake of the classic wartime comedy about Scottish islanders trying to get their hands on the shipload of booze that washes up on their shores. 7:25pm Despicable Me 3 9:00pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 11:20pm Going in Style 1:00am The Beguiled 2:45am Chokeslam 4:45am An

8:30am

9:30am 10:05am 10:25am 10:30am

8:00am Couples Come Dine with Me 9:00am Made in Chelsea 10:00am Don't Tell the Bride 11:00am The Goldbergs 1:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 2:00pm Young Sheldon 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm The Big Bang Theory 5:00pm The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer 6:15pm Extreme Cake Makers 6:45pm Extreme Cake Makers 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm The Big Bang Theory 8:30pm The Big Bang Theory 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory 9:30pm The Big Bang Theory 10:00pm The Watch 12:00am Gogglebox 1:00am Naked Attraction

11:30am Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud 12:00pm Police Interceptors 1:00pm Police Interceptors 2:00pm Police Interceptors 3:00pm Traffic Cops 4:00pm Traffic Cops 5:00pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 6:00pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 7:00pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 8:00pm Cruising with Jane McDonald 9:00pm Inside Windsor Castle 9:55pm 5 News 10:00pm Secrets of Henry Viii's Palace 11:00pm Conspiracy: The Nazi King 12:00am Secrets of the Nazi Occult 1:00am Super Casino

7:00am Ready Player One: Special 7:30am Top Ten Show, the 2018 7:45am Cars 3 9:30am Despicable Me 3 11:15am Spider-Man: Homecoming 1:35pm Lou 1:50pm Cars 3 3:35pm Going in Style 5:20pm Despicable Me 3 6:55pm Lou 7:10pm Cars 3 Constantly outshined and outraced by a fleet of hi-tech rookies, former champ Lightning McQueen must find a new way to win. 9:00pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 11:20pm Going in Style 1:00am Special

7:00am 9:45am 10:00am 10:15am 10:30am 11:00am 12:30pm 12:55pm 3:00pm

9:30am 10:30am 11:30am 12:00pm 12:30pm 1:00pm 1:30pm 3:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 4:30pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 7:55pm 10:00pm

7:00am Milkshake! 11:05am Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:35am Britain's Greatest Bridges 11:50am Police Interceptors 12:50pm Police Interceptors 1:45pm The Cowboys 4:15pm Joe Kidd 5:50pm Space Cowboys 8:00pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 9:00pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 9:55pm 5 News 10:00pm The Lonely Life of George Michael 12:00am The Nation's Favourite George Michael Song 1:00am The Last Days of George Michael 2:00am Super Casino

7:00am Ready Player One: Special 7:30am Going in Style 9:10am Despicable Me 3 10:45am Lou 11:00am Cars 3 12:50pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 3:10pm Unforgettable 4:55pm Special 5:25pm Despicable Me 3 7:00pm Cars 3 9:00pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 11:20pm Unforgettable 1:10am Going in Style When their pension pots disappear overnight, a trio of cash-strapped retirees decide to rob a Brooklyn bank. 2:50am Chokeslam

9:00am Football's Greatest 9:30am EFL Goals: Championship 10:00am EFL Goals: League One and League Two 10:30am Sunday Supplement 12:00pm EFL Goals: Championship 12:30pm EFL Goals: League One and League Two 1:00pm Football 3:30pm SPFL Greatest Games 3:45pm SPFL Greatest Games 4:00pm La Liga Greatest Games 4:10pm Info not available 6:15pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:25pm Info not available 8:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 8:40pm Info not available 10:45pm La Liga Icons

9:00am 9:30am 10:00am 10:15am 10:30am 10:45am 11:00am 11:30am 12:00pm 12:15pm 12:30pm 1:00pm 1:30pm 4:00pm 6:15pm 8:30pm 11:15pm 11:45pm

Football Countdowns Football's Greatest Football's Greatest Teams Scottish Cup Greatest Games Scottish Cup Greatest Games La Liga Greatest Games La Liga Greatest Games La Liga Show Football's Greatest One2eleven One2eleven La Liga Show Football's Greatest Football Gillette Soccer Special Football Football SPFL Matters La Liga Preview

SATURDAY 11:00am Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30pm Classic Mary Berry 1:00pm Football Focus 2:00pm BBC News 2:10pm Weather 2:15pm Bargain Hunt 3:00pm MasterChef 3:30pm MasterChef 4:00pm Shrek Forever After 5:25pm Final Score 6:10pm A Question of Sport 6:40pm Doodlebugs 7:00pm Ready or Not 7:30pm BBC News 7:40pm Regional News 7:43pm Weather 7:45pm Pointless 8:35pm Who Dares Wins 9:20pm Casualty 10:10pm Troy: Fall of a City 11:10pm BBC News 11:25pm Weather

7:40am Naomi's Nightmares of Nature 8:10am The Pets Factor 8:30am Dengineers 9:00am Absolute Genius: Monster Builds 9:30am Beyond Bionic 10:00am Robot Wars 11:00am Gordon Buchanan: Elephant Family and Me 12:00pm Six Puppies and Us 12:55pm The Ladykillers: Pest Detectives 2:00pm Cromwell 4:15pm Canterbury Cathedral 5:15pm The Secret Helpers 6:15pm Big Cats About the House 7:15pm Easter from King's 8:30pm Dad's Army 9:00pm Attenborough's Wonder of Eggs 10:00pm Hamlet

12:25pm 1:25pm 1:30pm 2:30pm 3:00pm 4:00pm 5:00pm 6:00pm 7:00pm 7:15pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 9:30pm 11:00pm 11:20pm

Thunderbirds are Go Wishfart ITV News Saturday Morning with James Martin Who's Doing the Dishes? ITV Lunchtime News Info not available Britain's Brightest Family Tenable Celebrity Catchphrase Tipping Point The Chase ITV Evening News Regional News and Weather You've Been Framed! Info not available The Voice UK ITV News Info not available

4:15pm 6:15pm 8:40pm 10:45pm 11:00pm 1:05am 1:35am 2:30am 3:00am 3:30am 4:00am

Football EFL Greatest Games EFL Greatest Games EFL Greatest Games SPFL Matters Soccer A.M. SPFL Matters Info not available Gillette Soccer Saturday Gillette Soccer Saturday Football Info not available La Liga Icons Football EFL Goals: Championship Magical Messi EFL Goals: Championship Football's Greatest EFL Goals: Championship Football Years

SUNDAY 11:00am Live Worship on Easter Sunday 12:00pm Urbi et Orbi 12:25pm The Silent Child 12:45pm Bargain Hunt 1:25pm BBC News 1:35pm Weather for the Week Ahead 1:40pm Shaun the Sheep Movie 3:00pm MasterChef 5:30pm Escape to the Country 6:00pm Songs of Praise 6:35pm BBC News 6:50pm Regional News 6:55pm Weather 7:00pm The Big Painting Challenge 8:00pm Countryfile 9:00pm The Generation Game 10:00pm Ordeal by Innocence

9:35am Countryfile 10:30am Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:00pm Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 12:45pm Lorraine Pascale: How to be a Better Cook 1:15pm MOTD2 Extra 2:00pm Info not available 2:15pm Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago 3:15pm Canterbury Cathedral 4:15pm RAF at 100 with Ewan and Colin Mcgregor 5:45pm War Horse 8:00pm Down the Mighty River with Steve Backshall 9:00pm Top Gear 10:00pm Unsealed: Conspiracy Files

8:35am The Tom and Jerry Show 8:50am Teen Titans Go! 9:10am Mr. Bean: The Animated Series 9:30am Spy School 10:05am Adventure Time 10:25am ITV News 10:30am Love Your Garden 10:55am The Voice UK 12:25pm Info not avalable 2:00pm Free Willy 4:05pm Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 6:00pm The Chase: Celebrity Special 7:00pm You've Been Framed! 7:30pm ITV Evening News 7:45pm Regional News and Weather 8:00pm Info not available 9:00pm The Durrells 10:00pm The Good Karma Hospital

Made in Chelsea The Crystal Maze The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs Info not available The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Goldbergs Brooklyn Nine-Nine Young Sheldon The Big Bang Theory Info not available Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 11:00pm The Inbetweeners 11:30pm The Inbetweeners 12:00am The Big Bang Theory

The schedules for the television programme pages are provided by an external company: we regret that any changes or errors are not the responsibility of RTN.

MONDAY 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm The Sheriffs are Coming 12:45pm Claimed and Shamed 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:15pm Regional News 2:20pm Weather 2:25pm Father Brown 3:10pm Garden Rescue 3:55pm Escape to the Country 4:40pm Money for Nothing 5:25pm Flog It! 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:20pm Regional News 7:25pm Weather 7:30pm Celebrity Mastermind 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm MasterChef 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm Classic Mary Berry

7:45am Money for Nothing 8:30am Nature's Weirdest Events 9:30am Gnomeo and Juliet 10:45am Rise of the Guardians 12:15pm The Super League Show 1:00pm Funny Lady 3:15pm Trust Me, I'm a Vet 4:15pm Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 5:15pm Patagonia: Earth's Secret Paradise 6:15pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm The Repair Shop 8:00pm Top Gear 9:00pm Only Connect 9:30pm University Challenge 10:00pm Dave Allen at Peace 11:00pm The Unique Dave Allen 11:30pm Z for Zachariah 1:00am Unsealed: Conspiracy Files

Record Breakers Mission Employable Dragonheart Free Willy 3: The Rescue Info not available ITV Lunchtime News Regional News and Weather Judge Rinder Dickinson's Real Deal Tipping Point The Chase Paul O'grady: For the Love of Dogs Regional News and Weather ITV Evening News Emmerdale Coronation Street The Kyle Files Coronation Street Marcella ITV News at Ten and Weather

9:00am How I Met Your Mother 9:30am How I Met Your Mother 10:00am New Girl 10:30am New Girl 11:00am 2 Broke Girls 12:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Step Up 4: Miami Heat 5:00pm The Big Bang Theory 5:30pm The Big Bang Theory 6:00pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scapade 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory 9:30pm Young Sheldon 10:00pm Made in Chelsea 11:00pm Don't Tell the Bride Ireland

7:00am Milkshake! 10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 1:05pm 5 News 1:10pm Home and Away 1:40pm Neighbours 2:10pm Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 4:10pm Oliver! 7:00pm Neighbours 7:30pm Home and Away 7:55pm 5 News 8:00pm The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 9:00pm Police Interceptors 10:00pm Paddington Station 24/7 11:00pm Police UK: Armed and Deadly 12:05am Caught on Camera 12:30am Football on 5 1:30am Football on 5 2:00am Super Casino 4:10am Inside Manchester's Midland Hotel

7:00am 8:45am 10:20am 10:35am 12:25pm

Unforgettable Despicable Me 3 Lou Cars 3 Spider-Man: Homecoming 2:45pm Despicable Me 3 4:30pm 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain 6:15pm Lou 6:30pm Cars 3 8:30pm Special 9:00pm Spider-Man: Homecoming Tom Holland is Peter Parker - an average teen with a web-slinging alter ego who must protect New York City from a menacing new villain 11:20pm 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain 1:05am Unforgettable

9:00am Football's Greatest 9:30am Football's Greatest 10:00am EFL Goals: Championship 10:30am EFL Goals: League One and League Two 11:00am EFL Rivalries 11:30am EFL Rivalries 12:00pm Stars of Russia: Mane 12:15pm Stars of Russia: Firmino 12:30pm EFL Goals: Championship 1:00pm EFL Goals: League One and League Two 1:30pm Football 4:00pm Gillette Soccer Special 6:00pm EFL Greatest Games 6:15pm Football 8:30pm Football 11:00pm SPFL Round Up 2017/18 11:15pm SPFL Greatest Games 11:30pm MLS Round Up Show

10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:55pm Regional News and Weather 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Dickinson's Real Deal 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Regional News and Weather 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm 100 Year Old Driving School 9:00pm Info not available 10:00pm Info not available 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:30pm Regional News and Weather

9:30am How I Met Your Mother 10:00am New Girl 11:00am 2 Broke Girls 12:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm How I Met Your Mother 3:30pm How I Met Your Mother 4:00pm New Girl 5:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Extreme Cake Makers 9:00pm Night at the Museum

10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 1:10pm 5 News 1:15pm GPs: Behind Closed Doors 2:10pm Access 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS 4:15pm Abducting Zoe 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 9:00pm Secrets of the National Trust with Alan Titchmarsh 10:00pm Everest: World's Greatest Mountain 11:00pm Sabotage 1:10am Police Interceptors

5:15am Gadget Gang in Outer Space 7:00am 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain 8:55am Whisky Galore! 10:50am Cars 3 12:45pm Run the Tide 2:35pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 5:00pm Cars 3 6:50pm Special 7:20pm Run the Tide 9:00pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 11:20pm Unforgettable 1:05am 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain 2:55am The Beguiled 4:45am Special 5:15am Gadget Gang in Outer Space

1:00pm SPFL Round Up 2017/18 1:15pm SPFL Greatest Games 1:30pm MLS Round Up Show 2:00pm La Liga Icons 2:15pm La Liga Icons 3:00pm Eredivisie 4:00pm Football's Greatest 4:30pm Football's Greatest Teams 5:00pm Scottish Cup Greatest Games 5:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm Football Years 6:30pm Football Countdowns 7:00pm SPFL Round Up 2017/18 7:15pm SPFL Greatest Games 7:30pm MLS Round Up Show 8:00pm EFL Greatest Games

9:50am 10:20am 10:25am 12:25pm 2:10pm 2:40pm 2:55pm 3:00pm 4:00pm 5:00pm 6:00pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 7:45pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 11:00pm

TUESDAY 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm The Sheriffs are Coming 12:45pm Claimed and Shamed 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm Regional News 2:45pm Moving On 3:30pm Escape to the Continent 4:30pm Money for Nothing 5:15pm Flog It! 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm EastEnders 9:00pm Holby City 10:00pm Come Home 11:00pm BBC News 11:30pm Regional News

10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 12:30pm Westminster in Review 1:00pm Golf 2:00pm The Super League Show 2:45pm Plan it, Build it 3:15pm Trust Me, I'm a Vet 4:15pm Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 5:15pm Patagonia: Earth's Secret Paradise 6:15pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm The Repair Shop 8:00pm Attenborough's Wonder of Eggs 9:00pm Great Indian Railway Journeys 10:00pm Hospital 11:00pm Cunk on Britain

The schedules for the television programme pages are provided by an external company: we regret that any changes or errors are not the responsibility of RTN.

32

30th March - 5th April

WEDNESDAY 4:30pm 5:15pm 6:15pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 9:00pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 11:40pm 11:45pm 12:15am

Money for Nothing Flog It! Pointless BBC News Regional News The One Show MasterChef Patrick Kielty Doc BBC News Regional News Weather A Question of Sport Lenny Henry: The Commonwealth Kid

3:00pm 4:00pm

Trust Me, I'm a Vet Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 5:00pm Patagonia: Earth's Secret Paradise 6:00pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm The Repair Shop 8:00pm Today at the Games 9:00pm The Secret Helpers 10:00pm The Assassination of Gianni Versace American Crime Story 10:50pm Live at the Apollo

5:00pm 6:00pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 11:45pm

Tipping Point The Chase Regional News and Weather ITV Evening News Emmerdale Coronation Street Britain's Brightest Family Coronation Street Benidorm ITV News at Ten and Weather Regional News and Weather UEFA Champions League Highlights

3:30pm

How I Met Your Mother 4:00pm New Girl 4:30pm New Girl 5:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Extreme Cake Makers 9:00pm The Goldbergs 9:30pm The Big Bang Theory 10:00pm Timeless 11:00pm Naked Attraction 12:05am The Big Bang Theory

4:15pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm

First Class Fear 5 News Neighbours Home and Away 5 News The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 9:00pm GPs: Behind Closed Doors 10:00pm Housing Yorkshire: Somewhere to Call Home 11:00pm Why Do Men Earn More Than Women? 12:05am Murder on the Internet 1:05am When Kids Kill

5:15am

Gadget Gang in Outer Space 7:00am Whisky Galore! 8:55am 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain 10:50am Cars 3 12:50pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 3:15pm Chokeslam 5:00pm Special 5:30pm Run the Tide 7:10pm Cars 3 9:00pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 11:20pm Insyriated 1:00am 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain

1:00pm 2:00pm 3:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 4:30pm

4:00pm 5:00pm 6:00pm 7:00pm 8:00pm 8:30pm

3:20pm 4:20pm

7:00am Run the Tide 8:50am Cars 3 10:45am Spider-Man: Homecoming 1:10pm Double Date 3:00pm Run the Tide 4:50pm Cars 3 6:40pm 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain 8:30pm Special 9:00pm Spider-Man: Homecoming 11:20pm Double Date 1:00am Unforgettable 2:55am Insyriated 4:40am Chokeslam

5:00pm Scottish Cup Greatest Games 5:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm EFL Midweek Goals: Championship 6:30pm EFL Midweek Goals: Leagues 1 & 7:00pm EFL Rivalries 8:00pm EFL Matters 8:30pm EFL Midweek Goals: Championship 9:00pm EFL Midweek Goals: Leagues 1 & 9:30pm EFL Greatest Games 10:00pm La Liga Files

5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm

Eredivisie La Liga Icons Revista de la Liga La Liga World Football's Greatest Football's Greatest Teams Scottish Cup Greatest Games La Liga Greatest Games Football Years Football Countdowns Revista de la Liga Info not available Info not available

THURSDAY 4:30pm 5:15pm 6:15pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 10:00pm 10:30pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 11:45pm

Money for Nothing Flog It! Pointless BBC News at Six BBC London News The One Show EastEnders MasterChef Not Going Out Still Game BBC News at Ten BBC London News Unsolved

6:15pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 9:00pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 12:15am 1:20am 1:50am 2:50am 3:50am

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is Eggheads Today at the Games Big Cats Civilisations Match of the Day Newsnight Top Gear MasterChef Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the Lobby Back in Time for Tea Weather for the Week Ahead

4:00pm

Dickinson's Real Deal 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm ITV News London 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Pets 9:00pm Emmerdale 9:30pm The Cruise: Sailing the Caribbean 10:00pm The Investigator: A British Crime Story 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:30pm ITV News London

9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 10:30pm 11:00pm 11:35pm 12:05am 12:35am 1:05am

New Girl Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory Hollyoaks Extreme Cake Makers The Big Bang Theory Young Sheldon Brooklyn Nine-Nine Derry Girls The Inbetweeners The Windsors The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory First Dates

NCIS Concrete Evidence: A Fixer Upper Mystery 6:00pm 5 News at 5 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News Tonight 8:00pm The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 9:00pm Bad Tenants, Rogue Landlords 10:00pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away! 11:00pm Undercover: Nailing the Fraudsters

this week weather FRI

SAT

March 30 March 31

SUN

MON

TUE

WED

THU

April 1

April 2

April 3

April 4

April 5

24º/10ºC 17º/10ºC 14º/13ºC 18º/10ºC 19º/10ºC 18º/10ºC 17º/7ºC Clouds and sun

Clouds and sun

Plenty of clouds

Cloudy and Cooler and Cooler and Cooler and a little rain a little rain a little rain a little rain

34

30th March - 5th April

Puzzles Code Breaker Kenny Corris I For Readings, Consultations and Castings email: kennycorris@hotmailcom / www.kennycorris.net Mobile: 686 361 594 / Tel: 965 878 424

Play on Words

Answers: Down to earth. The Cat in the Hat.

A time for you to take a back seat and let someone else do the work for a change. After all it is only now that you can take a well-deserved break. As Taurus welcomes Venus this week, it’s all about loving yourself enough to let things happen, and to enjoy some downtime. Indulge yourself knowing that you’ve earned rest and relaxation.

Word Wheel The goal of a word wheel puzzle is to create as many words possible with the letters in the word wheel. You can only use each letter once and every word must have the letter in the centre of the wheel. Can you find the 9 letter word?

With Venus entering into Taurus, love comes in at all levels. You seem to have the idea that your heart is not for sharing right now; but the powerful forces of the Cosmos and the exaltation of the Goddess of Love, Venus, may very well mean that things are about to change. An affair of the heart is much closer than you could ever imagine! Mercury squares on Mars which brings timbre to something that you have up your sleeve, and shows you that you are now really on the right track. Mercury’s speedy and communicative energies are backed all the way by an ebullient Mars, and anything can happen, and it most probably will be just the icing on your cake. You are moody and angry and though you have every right to feel this way, why not turn this around? You need to know that you can, and that others are looking to you to come up with appropriate solutions; before it is too late! Mercury squares up to Saturn, and those delay tactics you are so fond of won’t work this time around. The Sun conjuncts with Mercury and the time has come to lay your cards on the table. Someone is being evasive and as you rightly suspect there is more behind a recent request, which you have to turn down for all the right reasons. Being open yourself now proves that you have nothing to hide and it will finally stop those tongues wagging. A focus on your home this week as a long awaited project unfolds on the domestic front. Your home is your comfort and your joy, but it’s time to ring the changes. Venus squares up to Ceres midweek, and this allows you to cope amongst the temporary chaos. This is a great chance to de clutter since then you can love more what’s left! Venus enters into your twin Planet of Taurus, bringing renewed energies and a plausible change of heart too. Your bark has always been worse than your bite, but you have been sending out the wrong messages lately. Take time to ensure others that though you are not to be messed with, that you really do have your heart in the right place. Mars features with both Saturn and Mercury this week. Whilst you are powerful in your energies you are still waiting for an opportunity to put your skills into good use. Multitalented and known for your hard work, it is time that you used your inspiration for the good of those who need both your love and your protection right now. Great at planning, you have a chance to highlight your considerable skills this week; and you may even surprise yourself into the bargain. Mars conjuncts with Saturn midweek which means that you are experiencing some kind of delay in other directions, but it’s full steam ahead for you to showcase your organising talents. You are beginning to get cold feet about something you’re involved in. In hindsight you would never have got involved, but since you are you are too proud to admit that you are in this up to your neck, and if you knew what was really going on you would never have got involved. Somebody truly has moved those goalposts! Venus has left your Planetary leader, Uranus and enters into Taurus this week. Whilst there is a glimmer of love out there on the horizon you are not connecting as you should, neither are you able to seize an opportunity that has come your way. Things may be too good to be true right now but all your hard work needs to be rewarded. Look back and see just how far you have come lately. You seem to be taking some time to prioritise a way of using your skills and artistry, which is where your energies are right now. Believing in yourself will bring you dividends this week as Love abounds, with Venus getting to know the truly powerful energies of an inspiring Taurus.

Each number in the Code Breaker grid represents a different letter of the alphabet. In this week’s puzzle, 11 represents V and 19 represents R, so fill in V every time the figure 11 appears and R every time the figure 19 appears. Now, using your knowledge of the English language, work out which letters should go in the missing squares. As you discover the letters, fill in other squares with the same number in the main grid and the control grid.

Kenny’s Postbag Kenny, Finances are at an all-time low. I find it hard to ask for anything generally, but I am begging now because I cannot go on. I have to make a decision do I go or do I stay? Esme A. Esme, it’s not wrong to ask for what you deserve. Money isn’t wrong, but the distribution of it stinks. There are people so rich they do not know what to do with their wealth, and others dying at this moment with malnutrition. We float around in the middle somewhere, since money comes and goes and you have to find a way to make some money stick around. It isn’t fair and it isn’t easy either. Talk to Spirit. Ask what’s best for you. Ask for the work that will reward you financially. If you do go then you are moving on not running away!

Kenny Corris

Don't forget to email or message me with your Postbag Questions!. Check out my new website: www.kennycorris.net

For Birthday Celebrants Love holds it all together for you, and it starts within. Where there were nagging doubts back in the past, now there is hope. Allow the combined efforts of the Cosmos to steer you to where you should be, and look for that silver lining.

The 9 letter word is:

Kakuro Fill all the empty squares using the numbers 1 to 9, so that the sum of each horizontal block equals the ‘clue’ on its left, and the sum of each vertical block equals the clue on its top. No number may be used in the same block more than once.

30th March - 5th April

35

More Puzzles Cryptic

Across 1 Sides reported swarms (5) 4 Sea bird can be cooked slowly (7) 8 They help make curls and waves (7) 9 The belief is that I am God returning (5) 10 They've been held by the innkeeper for a long time (8) 11 Not much of a fall? (4) 13 An American metal somewhere in Texas (6) 14 Nicked bundle of pound notes (6) 17 Prepare to leave the group (4) 19 To begin with I read revelation in Times' article naming the nuisance (8) 22 Brew some magic up pal (5) 23 Life jacket from same wet components (3,4) 24 Records the unmarried ones (7) 25 Spread mangled tapes (5)

English - Spanish

Futoshiki

Down 1 Set fire to a bit of toast or charcoal (5) 2 Listens, sort of, then joins up (7) 3 Written outline shows no care, is sloppy (8) 4 The coach, little Edward, is out of order (6) 5 A first-class lawyer in Verdi opera (4) 6 Something refined brought back from Ragusa (5) 7 Late Greek god betraying no emotion (7) 12 Start playing new super kit (6,2) 13 Small glasses around at views (7) 15 The Parisian reads out editorials (7) 16 Public transport around park for vagrants (6) 18 Some of Al Capone's mob are chicken (5) 20 In court it heard about church tax (5) 21 Social sphere (4)

Fill in the squares so that each digit from 1 to 6 occurs exactly once in each row and column. Greater-than and less-than signs indicate the relationship of the two adjacent squares. There is only one solution, and you can find it without guessing.

The clues are mixed, some clues are in Spanish and some are in English.

Across 1 Tablecloth (6) 4 Cerveza (4) 8 Queen (5) 9 Notice (warning) (5) 10 Courgette (9) 14 Mejilla (5) 15 Beret (5) 16 Buttonhole (of

garment) (4) 17 August (6) Down 1 Girar (llave, manivela, volante) (4) 2 Spring (season) (9) 3/15 Bolsita de tĂŠ

(3,3) 5 Buildings (houses, offices etc) (9) 6 Tejado (4) 7 Cow (4) 11 Pregunta (4) 12 Leisure (4) 13 Hand (4) 15 See 3

Quick

Across 1 Underground parts of plants (5) 3 Smears (7) 6 Public toilet in a military area (7) 8 Drinking chocolate (5) 10 Be in accord (5) 11 Graceful and stylish in appearance or manner (7) 14 Suitable for use as food (6) 15 Cubicles (6) 17 Wet slightly (7) 20 Relating to audible sound (5) 21 Form a critical opinion of (5) 22 Educational institution (7) 23 Adjudicator (7) 24 Lone-Star state (5) Down 1 Let go free (7) 2 Grab hold of (5) 3 Strainer (5) 4 Brother of your father or mother (5) 5 Not full or plentiful (5) 7 Frightened badly (9) 9 Dare (9) 12 Fewer (4) 13 Being nothing more than specified (4) 16 Triumph (7) 17 Army officer (5) 18 Belonging to them (5) 19 Recess in a wall (5) 20 Separate into parts or portions (5)

Sudoku

Fill the grid so every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1-9

36

30th March - 5th April

More Puzzles Irregular Soduku Wordsearch:

iCarly FREDDIE BENSON LEWBERT SR. HOWARD CARLY SHAY COSTELA SAM PUCKETT GUPPY MIRANDA GIBBY CHUCK TED FRANKLIN NATHAN

Quiz

the Greater Pittsburgh area in 1967 and NIGHT, 6. 1960s - it was introduced in 3. CHEESE, 4. OLIVER!, 5. TWELFTH 1. AMBROSIA, 2. MICHAEL GOVE, Answers

Not a lot of people know that… rice is the staple food of more than one-half of the world’s population

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

nationwide in 1968, 7. YIDDISH,

from which language? 8. To what foodstuff does the cartoon character Popeye attributed his strength? 9. Which famous US actor founded a line of food products with writer A E Hotchner in 1982? The brand started with salad dressing but has expanded to include pasta sauce, lemonade, popcorn, salsa, and wine, among other things. 10. Which journalist, broadcaster, television personality, gourmet and food writer is the daughter of a former Chancellor of the Exchequer? NIGELLA

DOWN 2. 4 across minus 27 down 3. Nine times 23 across 4. 29 across plus 24 down 5. 10 across minus 19 across 7. 14 across plus 26 down 8. 15 down minus 16 across 9. Two thirds of 12 across 11. 15 down squared 13. 16 down squared 15. Twice 25 across 16. See 10 across 20. 30 across squared 22. 2 down plus 14 across 23. Twice 14 across 24. See 4 down 26. 14 across plus 27 down 27. See 2 down 28. See 16 across

8. SPINACH, 9. PAUL NEWMAN,

October 16 is World Food Day 1. According to classical mythology, what was the food and drink of the gods and any mortals who ate it became immortal? 2. Appointed in June 2017 to replace Andrea Leadsom, who is the current Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs? 3. Cantal, Caboc, Fontina, Leerdammer and Vacherin are all varieties of which foodstuff? 4. Food, Glorious Food is the opening song from which 1960s West End and Broadway musical and 1968 film? 5. ‘If music be the food of love, play on’ is a famous line from which of Shakespeare’s comedies? 6. In which decade did the fast food restaurant chain McDonald's introduce its famous Big Mac hamburger in the US? 7. The slang term for food ‘nosh’ originally comes

ACROSS 1. A third of 10 across 4. 22 across plus 14 across 6. 23 across squared 10. A fifth of 16 down 12. 4 across plus 28 down 13. 21 across plus 24 down 14. See 4 across 16. 14 across plus 28 down 17. 22 down times 19 across 18. 27 down times 29 across 19. Three times 24 down 21. 7 down plus 14 across 22. 9 down plus 24 down 23. Three times 4 across 25. 13 across minus 14 across 27. 12 across squared 29. 13 across plus 5 down 30. Four times 14 across

10. NIGELLA LAWSON

Cross Figure

JERRY

30th March - 5th April

More Puzzles Giant Crossword ACROSS 1 Not meant to be heard by the audience, in a way 8 Blend in 13 Maker of stringed instruments 20 Author Huffington 21 Nary a soul 22 In a group 23 Give a nonnative a smooch? 25 Causes of sudden fear 26 Env. alerter 27 Small drink 28 Make up for 29 Defeat Dorothy's dog decisively? 34 Trip to an underworld river? 39 Singer Buddy 40 Egg 42 Stools, say 43 Actress Mendes 44 Certain Siouan 45 "The Jerk" actor M. Walsh 47 "Well well!" 48 Use a pool 49 Specialty of Windy City bakeries? 52 Uses Dixie diction 54 Door turner 55 Expire, as a subscription 59 Ballpark fig. 60 New princess of '81 63 One who doesn't succumb to a potent toxin? 68 Clean energy org. 69 Bombard with ejunk 71 "Zip DooDah" 72 Hard wood 73 Glorious state of bliss? 79 Military units 82 Prefix with hazard 83 Achieve

84 ObiWan Kenobi, e.g. 85 Rob 88 Desert haven mentioned in the first book of the Bible? 94 Guitars' kin, for short 95 Actor Rob 99 Bits of matter 100 Car for a VIP 101 Mr., in India 102 Have a cow, with "out" 103 Ltr. insert 104 Arrangement 105 Ruler of the Sunflower State? 108 Palpitation? 111 Menu fish 112 Audiotapes' successors 114 Cato's 1,052 115 Main female character 118 Stuff hauled by Beantown trash collectors? 124 Not ceasing 125 Homer work 126 St. (capital of Loire) 127 Mice and whales, e.g. 128 "The Rose" singer Midler 129 Plunder DOWN 1 Hard wood 2 Wk. day 3 Hi (old LP players) 4 Moms 5 Notoriety 6 Noted berry farm founder 7 Turn a deaf (ignore) 8 Musical artist DiFranco 9 Barking pets 10 Doctrine that reality is one organic whole

11 Hamhanded 12 Gen 13 Certain boxing punch 14 Not firmly implanted 15 Preliftoff term 16 Jenna Bush 17 "Kinda" suffix 18 Ballpark fig. 19 Scale notes 24 Lay to rest 28 Skating leap 29 Ice cream flavor, briefly 30 Writer Philip 31 H.G. Wells race 32 Smart (cocky) 33 At an end 35 Fashion inits. 36 Synthpop artist, say 37 Sinister 38 They may be candied 41 Wombs 45 Selfconceit 46 Unruly crowd 47 Social Security fig., e.g. 48 Delhi dress 50 Not only that 51 Vienna loc. 53 Crank (up) 56 upswing 57 Meat stamp letters 58 Wk. day 60 The, in Paris 61 "The Simpsons" store clerk 62 Work at as a dilettante 63 Breathe hard 64 Leave out 65 Intermission 66 Bullfight cry 67 Apt. units

70 Stew veggie 74 Eye covers 75 Bettor's note 76 Tatty clothes 77 Strive (for) 78 U.N.'s Kofi 80 Hubbub 81 Call placer 84 Actor Parsons 85 Corn cover 86 Stew veggie 87 Part of PIN 89 Carve 90 Somber 91 In (as found) 92 Don of radio 93 Last year's frosh 96 "Part II" films 97 Tightly strung 98 Squeak (out) 102 Cereal meal 103 Breaks up 104 Add to the batter, say 106 Charge at 107 School, in Nice 109 Writer Horatio 110 Calf catcher 113 ESPN datum 115 and haw 116 Greek vowel 117 Dreamtime acronym 118 Baby's wear 119 Lyric tribute 120 Wanna (aspirants) 121 Santa (hot wind) 122 Big health supplement chain, familiarly 123 "I see mice!"

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Boggled How many English words can you find in the Boggled grid, according to the following rules? • The letters must be adjoining in a ‘chain’. They can be adjacent horizontally, vertically or diagonally. • Words must contain at least four letters and may include singular and plural or other derived forms. • No letter may be used more than once within a single word, unless it appears twice. • No vulgarities or proper nouns are permitted.

TARGET • Average: 21 • Good: 30 • Very good: 43 • Excellent: 55 SCORING 4 letters: 1 point 5 letters: 2 points 6 letters: 3 points 7 letters: 5 points 8 or more letters: 11 points

Nonagram How many English words of four letters or more can you make from the nine letters in our Nonagram puzzle? Each letter may be used only once (unless the letter appears twice). Each word MUST CONTAIN THE CENTRE LETTER (in this case T) and there must be AT LEAST ONE NINE LETTER WORD. Plurals, vulgarities or proper nouns are not allowed.

• Average: 8 • Good: 11 • Very good: 16 • Excellent: 21

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30th March - 5th April

health Kicking sweet habits SUGAR is in many respects the original health sin, accounting for a quickly growing spectrum of physical and even mental conditions, and quitting the white stuff is notoriously difficult. There is a smart approach, however, and, like all long journeys, it begins with a series of small steps. First cut out any fizzy, sugary drinks from your diet over the course of a week. That means no coke or lemonade, no matter whether they are ‘diet’, ‘zero’ or whatever else they claim to have you buy the product. Once you’ve banished the fizz, gradually do the same with the fat-free yoghurt, which is laden with sugar to make up for lost taste; and cereals which you’ll find possibly contain far more sugar per bowl than a can of Vimto. Other cheeky offenders include snack bars, tinned sauces, white bread, fruit juice, ice cream, and even salad dressing.

Scrutinising shopaholics BETTER SUCCESS: Couples attending private clinics had higher success rates than those using public heallth services.

Half of IVF couples do not realise their dream HALF of the couples who have resorted to assisted reproduction to have a child have not been successful according to a survey by the Spanish Organisation of Consumers and Users (OCU). The survey, which has been prepared by the OCU from the experience of 1,273 couples aged between 36 and 38 years who started some kind of assisted reproduction, found that half had tried to have a child without success, although the success rate was higher among couples who attended private

COCONUTS are a staple of many Indian, African and South-American cuisines and, despite growing popularity in the west, many of us are missing out on their full potential. You might have seen coconut milk in the Asian section of the supermarket, or coconut oil and juice in healthfood shops at an eye-watering price, but there’s no need to pay over the odds to enjoy the benefits of this remarkable healthy food. Even an old hairy coconut in the supermarket is chock full of vitamins, minerals and healthy fats, and it’s an incredibly versatile food that can pack a healthy punch to almost any meal. Once you crack open the nut, the

clinics compared to those who did it through the public health service. The survey also highlighted the difference in waiting times between public and private healthcare when attending the first consultation: six months for public health compared with one or two months for private services. Starting treatment within the public system can also take a year compared to two months within the private system. The OCU found that the most fre-

quent problems of couples who resort to assisted reproduction is lack of ovulation for women and low sperm count in men. The OCU also advised couples to see a doctor sooner. If couples have been trying for a baby for more than a year and especially if a woman’s age exceeds 33, specialist advice should be sought as fertility decreases with age and deadlines for diagnosis and subsequent treatment ‘may take quite some time.’

Paradise found water you discover inside is full of electrolytes, making it extremely hydrating and helpful in the summer heat. To get at the flesh simply take out the inner shell and peel the brown layer off, leaving you with a delicious white ‘meat’ which is filled with plant protein containing 17 out of 20 essential amino acids, iron, folate, potassium, fibre and healthy MCT fats. If you go a step further and peel the flesh into flakes then dry them, you have all the ingredients you need to make coconut butter.

Simply blend the flakes for 10-15 minutes, adding a little water if necessary. For coconut milk mix in a little more water. With the milk, butter, or flakes you have a hearthealthy addition to all sorts of meals, including porridge, pancakes and curries. PROTEIN PUNCH: Delicious and healthy.

THE university hospital of Bellvitge, L’Hospitalet de Llobregat, near Barcelona, has defined for the first time three new subtypes of shopaholics, a disorder that is still rarely studied. The finding is the result of several studies that have recently been published by the Unit of Pathological Gambling and Other Behavioural Addictions of the Psychiatry Hospital de Bellvitge. The aim of the study was to provide new insights into compulsive shopping disorder. Compulsive buying affects between 6 and 7 per cent of the population, but is still a little-studied disorder and reference manuals do not classify it as a specific pathology. According to Dr Susana Jimenez, head of the unit, there are neurobiological, psychological and social factors involved in compulsive buying. One of the studies coordinated by Jimenez first identified three subtypes of shopaholics, the first of which consists mostly of men with high levels of gambling and low levels of social reward dependence. A second subtype mainly consists of educated women, occupationally active without addictive personality traits and the third is predominantly also women but where the onset of the disorder is early, in addition to the presence of other psychiatric disorders and high dysfunctionality problems with school and work.

30th March - 5th April

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health

Going braless could be Cheaper treatment better for your health with fewer drugs

COULD it be time to ditch that wardrobe staple, the bra? Some experts believe that they can cause health problems and lead to droopy breasts. A woman’s health expert in the UK said they can cause problems ranging from muscle damage and pain in your neck and shoulders, to headaches and even skin conditions. Several years ago a French university professor who had monitored 300 women aged between 18 and 35 over 15 years, concluded that bras were a ‘false necessity’ as his study found that those avoiding bras developed more muscle tissue in their bust, which provided natural support. This muscle tissue did not develop when restricted with bra fabric. The warnings come as fashion choices seem to be making a shift from the plunging, push-up bras, to the more natural, softer look. Retail analysts NPD reported that sales of traditional bras are down 19 per cent as more women choose sports bras

Sweet dreams for happy couples HAPPY couples have happier dreams. That’s the finding from a study which analysed data from almost 350 American couples. The men and women were quizzed about how well they slept, including whether they woke up during the night, whether they used sleeping pills and if they had trouble staying awake during the day. Some also wore a device that monitored them for a week, to provide data on how well they actually slept. The couples were asked about how much their partner or spouse cared for them and how appreciated they felt. Assessing all the data the researchers believe that those who were happier and felt more cared for, had a better night’s sleep.

LET LOOSE: And free yourself from the range of problems bras can cause. for ‘comfort and ease of movement’ and last month the parent firm of Victoria’s Secret lingerie brand, reported

that its shares this year were down by 29 per cent as sales of its ‘supersexy’ push-up bras fell.

Nourishing your gut THERE are about 100 billion stars in the galaxy and roughly 100 trillion bacteria in our guts, accounting for three pounds of the average human bodyweight and vastly outnumbering the number of cells we have. Suffice to say, gut flora is important and has a powerful impact on our overall health. Many digestive problems and inflammations are directly related to the regulation of this flora, which can be overwhelmed by unhealthy mi-

crobes when we don’t nourish the system with proper food and care. Probiotics, typically cultured or fermented foods, are immensely important as they reduce inflammation and colonise our guts with healthy bacteria which helps harmonise the rumbling ecosystem. Fermented vegetables such as sauerkraut and pickles are incredibly potent probiotics, as are other cultured products, including kefir and yoghurt. Your gut bacteria also need ‘fertiliser’

PREBIOTICS: Include garlic, artichokes, onions and green leafy vegetables.

to flourish and these are known as prebiotics. They are abundant in plant fibres and you can also find them in garlic, artichokes, onions and green leafy vegetables. Other helpful anti-inflammatories can be found in herbs such as rosemary, ginger and turmeric, and you can also buy digestive enzyme supplements in many pharmacies and health shops. Remember that unhealthy bacteria thrive on refined sugar, and cheap carbohydrates like white bread and soft drinks, definitely substances to avoid if you want a healthy gut.

A NEW fertility treatment, created by Australian and Belgian scientists, could be cheaper and less invasive than IVF. Scientists say the new method, which has already undergone pre-clinical testing, uses growth factors to enhance an existing fertility treatment known as in vitro maturation (IVM). Results have shown improved egg quality and a 50 per cent increase in embryos, with a minimal use of drugs. In the IVM process, eggs are removed from the ovaries when immature, the main difference to conventional IVF, and are matured in the lab before fertilisation. The woman therefore does not need to take as many drugs before eggs can be collected, compared to IVF. Researchers at the University of New South Wales in Australia, have improved the IVM process by adding a combination of a growth factor and small signalling molecules in order to boost egg quality. Researchers in Belgium also believe it could benefit women facing cancer treatment, who wish to preserve their fertility.

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30th March - 5th April

home & garden

Palm trees are ideal for a Mediterranean garden Photo Credit: KĂźchenkraut Wikimedia

A PALM TREE has always been a must for the ideal landscape design in the Mediterranean garden. Palm-lined strands, boulevards and well placed palms around water features signal the relaxing atmosphere of enjoying hot days relaxing by the pool or bathing in the sun or sea at the beach. Over the last 10-15 years, palm trees have been in serious decline due to a ravenous red beetle or weevil (Rhynchophorus ferrugineus) that has decimated thousands of Canary Island palms in Spain and has adversely affected other palm species as well. The outbreak of the weevil is not yet under control in most areas of Spain, or other Mediterranean and Middle Eastern countries where palms are prevalent. Fortunately the Canary Islands has been successful in eradicating the weevil through strict monitoring, sanitation and treatment of their thousands of palm trees. Early detection is normally obtained with a specific pheromone trap for the weevil and just one adult caught indicates action is required to protect the palms in the vicinity. An adult female weevil can lay around 200 eggs. New treatments to combat the weevil are being developed to assist in the battle to save the palms, including chemical and biological agents. The weevil is originally from Asia where it is a major pest of coconut palms. It appears that Canary Island palms are its favourite in Spain, but it can als o a ff e c t o t h e r p a l m s s u c h a s t h e s a g o , d a t e , Washington, sugar, betel nut and toddy palms. If you have a palm tree that is healthy, it is best to have it checked by a person trained in palm care. If you have a sick or dead palm then have it completely removed. Once a palm shows signs of drooping leaves and stunted growth it is usually too late to save it. It will be necessary to have it disposed of in accordance with regional authorities guidelines. The insect is extremely thorough in its infestation of the palm, with eggs in cracks and crevices, larvae tunnelling through the palm and pupae in the roots in the ground so it is extremely difficult to eliminate all stages of growth completely. In order to eradicate the weevil all palms should be checked and treated appropriately as was done in the Canary Islands. Eradication will require good

A PALM TREE: Decimated by red weevil.

community cooperation if it is to succeed. How many palms will remain in Spain before the weevil is stopped depends on the cooperation of everyone involved in landscapes containing palms, as well as the preventative measures taken to protect the remaining healthy palms by all responsible

authorities and owners. The Mediterranean garden will not be the same if the weevil is not stopped, as all susceptible unprotected palms will eventually be lost. It would be hard to imagine the loss of such an icon of the region.

Balcony gardens GARDENING is not a skill only for people with a big garden. Many people live in apartments with only a balcony as their private space to develop a garden. This can actually allow for more creativity to develop this space with a greater variety of different planting designs and plant varieties. Plants will need to be in pots but this allows freedom to use different soil mixtures to suit anything from orchids and aerial

plants to fruit trees and tropical plants that may require acid or alkaline soils. There are so many different types of pots that can be selected for your balcony garden. A balcony garden is a way to bring the benefits of living plants into your home. It can be the garden room of the house and can be as simple or complex as you like. The easiest way is to have a few larger pots that harmonise together well filled with a variety of

plants, rather than lots of different pots with individual plants. It reduces maintenance to keep them all watered and stops cluttering. Of course if you have plenty of time, a variety of window boxes or suspended pots, shelving for pots and wall-hung pots makes for the ability to create a jungle but still leave room for an outdoor cushioned sofa, decorative chairs and table, or even a basket for your pet to sleep in the outdoor fresh air.

The important thing is to make it suit your purpose and needs to improve the living experience of the home rather than become a burden. There are plenty of ways to develop your space. If the balcony is getting morning or afternoon sun, it will affect the way your garden will grow. Afternoon sun will need very hardy plants or blinds that can be drawn to give shade in summer to allow the growing of softer plants.

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PETS

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30th March - 5th April

motoring

Meet the Karlmann King – a €1.7 million Batmobile IDEAL for any superhero or villain, the Karlmann King looks like it’s straight out of Batman’s cave. Styled on a stealth fighter jet, the King is finished in matte black with radar-deflecting angular surfaces and bright white lights. It is made from carbon fibre and steel, while the wealthiest owners can pay for a bulletproof upgrade. While it might look imposing on the outside, the cabin is kitted out like a Las Vegas hotel suite and rivals RollsRoyce for luxury. There is a retractable HDTV wired to Apple TV, a Playstation 4, a mini-fridge - complete with a bottle of Champagne and two crystal glasses - and a Nespresso machine.

The interior lighting can be adjusted to suit the mood depending on if you’re feeling villainous or amorous, and a four-wheel drive system enables an off-road escape. Passengers can also control lights, air conditioning, seats and the SOS Emergency device with a smartphone app. The Karlmann King has got performance to match and under the hood is a hulking 6.8 litre, V10 engine producing 360 bhp with a top speed of 87 mph. Fully loaded the beast weighs in at over five tonnes, around five times the average motor, and comes with four doors and four seats. The Beijing based creators, IAT Automobile Technology, aim to manufacture nine Karlmann Kings, for those who want to rule the road and have the money to do so.

Credit: Facebook Karlmann King

BAT BEAST: The monster is the world’s most expensive SUV.

Mini magic hits America THE New York International Auto Show will see MINI showing off an exclusive model designed to conquer new terrain. With its essence taken from the brand’s first plug-in hybrid vehicle, the MINI Countryman Panamericana has been designed for a long-distance tour from North America to Tierra del Fuego, showcasing the power and durability of MINI’s largest vehicle. Additional headlights, tyres with emergency running characteristics and a roof rack for transporting a spare wheel will make the compact five-door fit for a road trip. Based on the MINI Cooper SE Countryman ALL4, the combined power of its two engines make it the perfect endurance athlete for the Panamericana adventure. Three MINI Countryman Panamericana Plug-in Hybrid vehicles will tackle the intercontinental route on the world’s largest north-south road link, demonstrating their reliability and long distance performance. With a range of up to 40 kilometres, the coordinated interaction of the electric drive with the combustion engine combines emission-free driving even at longer ranges. It will be a drive over the historic Panamericana road leading through diverse climatic zones, dense jungle and challenging mountain passes. The MINI Cooper S Countryman ALL4 offers five full-size seats, generous luggage space and numerous comfort features, ensuring an enjoyable drive whatever the terrain. The New York International Auto Show will take place from today (Friday) to April 8.

30th March - 5th April

45

motoring

Audi A7 delivers on design and detail SINCE its arrival in 2010, the Audi A7 has been doing good business for the German brand. It was the Mercedes CLS that started the trend for four-door coupes back in 2004, and it’s a style that has since been adopted not only by Audi but also BMW. Underneath the sleek skin and frameless windows of Audi’s latest contender is what is effectively the new A6, which made its debut at the recent Geneva Motor Show. Its styling is the work of design boss Marc Lichte, this being the second car he’s had full control of since arriving at Audi from Volkswagen in 2014. The new model is shorter and narrower than previous iterations, while sitting on a wheelbase that has been stretched by 12 mm. The upshot design-wise is shorter overhangs front and rear, which helps with proportions, plus an interior that has grown in

length by 21 mm. Space inside is generous, with enough headroom and legroom for four tall adults to feel comfortable, despite the sloping roofline. The dashboard design is refreshingly simple, with horizontal lines, flawless materials and fit, and a notable absence of buttons. Switch on the ignition however, and things spring into life, with three digital screens to contend with. Audi’s now familiar 12.3 inch Virtual Cockpit gives a digital representation of the instruments, but can also be fully configured via simple steering wheel controls to display the satnav map, trip computer and infotainment functions. The menu logic is faultless, which in turn means the whole set up is far less distracting to use on the move than the similar sys-

A-LISTER: Audi have built a reputation for elegant reliability.

tem in the Range Rover Velar. The three-litre V6 engine features electrical assistance in the form of a 48V mild hybrid system, consisting of a lithium-ion battery in the boot, which powers a small electric motor housed between the engine and gearbox. This allows the car to coast with

cpthe engine off between 34 mph and 99 mph to save fuel and in terms of the battery, there’s no need to plug in. Energy is instead recuperated when the brakes are applied or the car is coasting which, com-

bined with a more capable stop-start system, is said to improve fuel consumption by about 10 per cent. The cruise control works with the GPS to automatically slow the car for bends, and can use a forward-facing camera to read road signs and adapt its speed to the current limit. This is a predictably polished product with style and power, while bursting with technological treasures.

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30th March - 5th April

motoring AS excitement rises with every week that brings the 2018 motorcycling season nearer, BMW Motorrad is on hand to make sure that riders will look and feel the part. This year’s range of equipment caters for every climate zone and terrain, combining cutting edge design with state-of-the-art safety technology. The latest generation of the Rallye suit designed for off-road use is available in two new colour combinations: blue/black and grey. Its material mix reflects the very latest technology: the functional fabric Pro-

BMW Motorrad kits out the best TechWool consists of polyamide and wool with a carbon finish. Compressed under pressure and heat, it is highly abrasion resistant and ceramic dot prints offer additional protection for the elbows and knees. The Rallye suit is fitted with removable NP2 protectors, new enlarged NP Pro back protector, and a button-in jacket insert. Waterproof and robust, the jacket can be worn over the suit, providing protection from soiling and moisture, and a waterproof zip-in insert is available for the trousers. Zips and a vent offer excellent ventilation for the suit, and a concealed interior pocket is ideal for cash and cards.

The GS Dry suit comes in black and grey and is made of breathable Cordura 500 and Polyamide. A PU layer with ceramic particles reinforces the sensitive areas and increases abrasion resistance. It is the only garment of its kind to offer special waterproof bonded zips, that open not just the upper material but the membrane too. The all-weather Atlantis suit is made of handpicked breathable nubuck leather from pastureraised bulls in the Alpine region, and manages to be both soft and robust. Offering a high degree of elasticity and abrasion resistance, this luxurious suit is a product of low-

impact, sustainable mineral tanning. The new System 7 Carbon helmet is made of solid carbon fibre with reinforcement inserts, meeting the highest safety standards. Impact absorption is excellent and integrated neck straps ensure that the helmet remains in the optimum position. This stylish accessory can be converted into an air-permeable jet helmet, while the double-glazed visor, with an anti-fog effect, guarantees a clear view when visibility is difficult. TOP GEAR: The most advanced and stylish bikewear to date is available in 2018.

Credit: BMW Group