RTN Newspaper - Costa Blanca South 22 - 8 February 2018 Issue 954

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Issue 954

2nd - 8th February

COSTA BLANCA SOUTH

Residents protest against ‘no morals’ government Photo by: RTN

by Glenn Scott AROUND 200 locals from Urbanisation L a Marina

i s a n s w e ra b l e t o n o o n e and continues in office. He

Fulgencio Town Hall last

office.”

Monday morning to show

The situation was exacer-

their growing frustrations

b a t e d re c e n t l y w h e n t h e

with the municipality.

council took the decision to 22- year per iod for a r ubbish collection ser vice; an

ing been found guilty back

DEMANDS: Locals gather in front of the San Fulgencio town hall.

in November 2017 of ‘ad-

as mayor. The PP then gave

they took the latter option

position parties and MUNA

ministrative prevarication’

his fellow six councillors,

and thus the government

say cannot be justified in a

a n d b a r re d f ro m h o l d i n g

who continued to support

of the municipality is now

municipality the size of

p u b l i c o f f i c e fo r e i g h t

him, an ultimatum.

in the hands of six indi-

San Fulgencio (7,646 regis-

viduals with no party loy-

tered on the padrón).

position.

Resign their official positions on the council and go

alties.

NEW ARRIVALS ALMOST UNCHANGED

Those unable to make

to the opposition to allow

George Scammell, secre-

their own way down to the

t e n c e , R a m i re z re s i g n e d

the forming of an alterna-

t a r y o f t h e M U N A re s i -

village from the urbanisa-

from the governing Partido

tive administration, or be

dents association, said:

tion five kilometres away

Popular (PP) to appeal the

expelled from the PP.

“The current council under

were transported in coach-

C a r l o s R a m i re z h a s n o

es laid on by MUNA.

With one exception,

P7

amount of money the op-

At the time of his sen-

case but decided to stay on

FARE DEALS GO ON FOR TAXI PASSENGERS

commit €16 million over a

the resignation of Mayor

years, still continues in his

P5

has no morals or scruples, but arrogantly continues in

Carlos R amirez who, hav-

BRITISH CONSUL VISITS ALICANTE TOWNS

mandate or manifesto and

made their way to the San

T h e y w e re d e m a n d i n g

INSIDE THIS WEEK ...

P10

2

2nd - 8th February

Woman’s body find linked to car fire

Septuagenarian jailed for sex attacks A MAN has been sent to prison in Alicante for an attempted kidnapping of a young girl in the Luceros area of the city. Bail was also refused and he was immediately sent into custody to prevent him from re-offending. Police reports say that the 73-year-old man had no

by Glenn Scott

previous criminal record, but in the space of two weeks

THE body of a woman in possession of a

was arrested twice by the National Police. The second

British passport has been found dead in

occasion was for the incident in Luceros which followed

a ditch.

three weeks after he allegedly sexually abused two underage girls in exchange for marihuana and cash.

The 39-year-old was discovered lying in a drainage area alongside the road that links Torreagüera and San Javier and initial reports suggest that the po-

rested, although he refused to give a

Keep your feet on the ground

statement to the police at the time of his

LOCAL POLICE based in La Union, Murcia, have identi-

detention.

fied and brought to justice a man for driving his car

lice aren’t ruling out a connection between her death and a car that was found burnt out around a kilometre away. The owner of the car has been ar-

Guardia Civil officers are working on

GUARDIA CIVIL: Searching for evidence at the scene.

covered after posting his own video on the social media

the theory that the dead woman was the victim of a hit and run driver. Such was

with his feet whilst using his mobile phone. He was dis-

the driver after the incident.

was an accident.

app Instagram and boasting of his ‘feat’!

the force she was hit that she ended up

A thorough inspection of the road

The alarm was raised in the early

The police thanked the members of the public that

in the ditch having been knocked over

was carried out by the Guardia Civil

hours of Sunday morning, with two am-

brought this incident to their attention after seeing the

the fence. The other line of enquiry is

and it’s understood that skid marks

bulances, Local Police and Guardia Civil

16-second-long video. Their actions enabled the man

that she was carried into the drain by

have been found that indicate that it

officers being sent to the scene.

to be identified, located and detained.

2nd - 8th February

Mother ‘too tired’ to report missing son by Lynn Whittaker

ing around and taken to the Local Police station, where it was discovered that there had

A BRITISH woman has been charged with

been no 112 emergency calls made to report a

child neglect by police after taking 14 hours to

missing child. His mother turned up around

report her missing three-year-old son.

14 hours later after spending a night drinking

She allegedly knew that her boy went miss-

with friends.

ing, but nevertheless still went out drinking

The woman, whose name has not been

for the night in Torrevieja, returned to bed

made public, said she assumed that the police

and then called the police on the following

would have found her son, kept an eye on

morning.

him, and he would be in safe hands until she

Reports say that the toddler was clad only

arrived at the station to collect him.

in pyjamas and socks - no shoes - when he

When asked by police why she hadn’t re-

simply vanished while he was out for a walk

ported her boy missing earlier, she allegedly

with his mother along Torrevieja’s sea front.

said she was ‘too tired’ to make the necessary

As he was so young, he had no form of iden-

enquiries.

tification on him, and so even if he had been

It’s not known if the boy has been returned

found nobody would know who he was or

to his mother, or whether he has been placed

where he came from.

in care until another member of his family can

However, he was eventually found wander-

be traced to look after him.

TORREVIEJA: Mother put drinking and sleep before searching for her son.

3

4

2nd - 8th February Photo by: Twitter

REDUCTION: Minister Manuel Villegas (centre) announces 150 day waiting target.

Hospital announces operation targets by Ray Chadwick

during a visit to the Pasea Alfon-

hospital team between May and

so 13th centre to meet the new

June and this would enable the

OFFICIALS from the Murcia re-

hospital management team, and

theatres to be fully staffed.

gional government have set a

said that the first step would be

Villegas also explained that

four month target to have all the

to open all the operating theatres

another objective of the de-

operating theatres up and run-

within four months to reduce the

partment will be to have a High

ning at the Hospital del Rosell in

waiting lists, which are the high-

Resolution Centre (CIAR) that

Cartagena.

est in the entire region.

will allow specialists to carry

The Minister of Health,

However, the main problem at

out a diagnosis, and discuss

Manuel Villegas, said that this

the moment is the shortage of

any subsequent treatments in

will allow them to meet their goal

anaesthetists, otherwise the

a single visit; something that

that by the end of 2018, nobody

plans would already be up and

previously would have required

should be waiting more than 150

running. Therefore, the plan is to

a number of separate appoint-

days to be operated on.

wait for people that are in their

ments over a series of weeks or

last year of studies to join the

even months.

He made this announcement

2nd - 8th February

British Consul visits Alicante towns

Tipsy driver caught after he tips ambulance by Tom Woods

Photo Credit: British Embassy Madrid

TOWN HALLS across the Alicante A DRIVER under the influence of al-

Province will be hosting a series of

cohol has been arrested after caus-

events with British Consul, Sarah-

ing an ambulance to tip over before

Jane Morris, to talk about Brexit

fleeing the scene in Elche.

and how this affects British citi-

The incident happened at roughly

5

zens living in Spain.

11.30pm last Saturday night, near

Mrs Morris will be visiting the

the L’Aljub de Elche shopping cen-

towns in the Alicante Province with

tre.

the highest volume of British citi-

they are open for any British citizen who is interested in finding out more about the subject. These events are part of the efforts made by British Consulates in Spain to meet with British citizens across Spain, and ensure that the concerns they raise around healthcare, pensions and residency rights

Night patrols were deployed at

zens on the Padron, to talk to resi-

are understood by the UK negotiat-

the possible exit routes and the es-

dents about any concerns they

ing team, and reflected in their dis-

caping car was intercepted when at-

have around Brexit, to provide an

cussions with our EU partners

tempting to enter the motorway.

update on the progress of Brexit

about our departure from the EU.

After some tests the police estab-

negotiations and to respond to any

lished that the man, who was the

questions and concerns they may

only occupant of his vehicle, had

have.

been drinking.

Four events have been con-

There is also no evidence that

firmed in Alicante south next Mon-

the driver had insurance or an up-

day and Tuesday in the following

to-date ITV.

locations:

A tourist apparently also fell in the

ROJALES - Monday at 12pm.

accident, but left the vicinity, while

Venue - Capitol Theatre, Calle A

the driver himself only sustained mi-

Gonzalez Vergel, Rojales

nor bruising.

TORREVIEJA - Monday at 2pm.

Advice for UK citizens living in BRITISH CONSUL: Sarah-Jane Morris.

the EU can be found here:

Venue - Torrevieja Town Hall (3rd

Amsterdam, Urbanizacion la Mari-

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/ad

floor Salon de Plenos) Plaza de la

na, San Fulgencio

vice-for-british-nationals-travelling-

Constitucion, 5, 03181 Torrevieja

There will be a further four

and-living-in-europe.

PIL AR DE L A HORADADA -

events in Alicante north (Alfas de

We recommend following our

Tuesday at 10am. Venue - Casa de

Pi, Teulada, Benidorm and Javea),

Brits in Spain Facebook page,

Cultura, Calle Carretillas 19, Pilar

details of which will be published

and to sign up for alerts from

de la Horadada

next week.

the gov.uk page to ensure you

SAN FULGENCIO – Tuesday at

You don’t have to be resident in

1pm. Venue - Centro social, Calle

these towns to attend the events;

are getting accurate information.

2nd - 8th February

Fare deal continues for taxi passengers Photo by: Taxi Murcia Twitter

PEOPLE using the taxi service in the Murcia region will continue to pay the same fare again this year. The governing board of the taxi service has agreed to freeze the rates that have now remained the same since 2014. The daily rate - from 7am to 10pm starts at €2.40 with an additional 97 cents per kilometre travelled from then onwards. The night rate from 10pm to 7am, that includes weekends and fiestas, begins at €2.99 as soon as the ‘flag is down’ and €1.22 per extra kilometre.

MURCIA TAXIS: On their stand.

There are the usual supplements, which have also been frozen, that cov-

wheelchairs or other equipment used

seen the possibility of their shifts

er pick-ups at railway and bus stations

by passengers with disabilities.

overlapping by a maximum of 30 min-

at a rate of €1.30. Collections from airports (€3.60 extra and 60 cents for suitcases and

Pe ts (except g uide do gs) will be

utes, to always ensure that the taxi

charged at €1.30 per animal and €3.50

service operates uninterrupted. They

on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve.

will also now be able to retain 100 per

packages) also stay the same, but the

T he taxi dr ivers will also benefit

charges at the airports do not include

from a number of changes which has

cent of their fares that are taken between 1am and 5am.

7

8

2nd - 8th February

Acquitted after a decade of legal wrangling by Glenn Scott

number of council, or ple-

However, whilst the judge-

nary, meetings should have

sees this as a ‘lack of respect’

FORMER mayor of Torrevie-

taken place between 2003

for the opposition members,

ja, Pedro Hernandez Mateo,

and 2007, and therefore de-

it’s not regarded as contra-

has been acquitted following

nied the right of the opposi-

vening civil rights.

his recent court appearance.

tion councillors and mem-

The presiding judge dismissed the charges that had

T herefore, he felt that

bers of the public to

there

participate as is tradition.

grounds to find Mateo guilty

weren’t

enough

been brought against him for

The judge’s ruling on Ma-

of any criminal offence, es-

alleged violation of civil

teo - who is already into an

pecially as these ‘missing ’

rights. T hey related to a

11-year ban from public of-

meetings were all due to take

number of council meetings

fice - is that he did fail to

place during holiday periods.

that failed to be held during

hold certain monthly meet-

This decision is the result

a four- year period of his

ings that are obligatory for

of more than 10 years legal

tenure.

municipalities with more

procedures and can still be

than 20,000 inhabitants.

appealed upon.

It was the current mayor, Jose Manuel Dolon, who first raised the issue back in 2006 when he was an opposition councillor. His argument was that a

Sunshine to help carbon footprint MURCIA will continue to do its bit to help the environment and save energy by announcing that it will look to install solar panels on public buildings. The City Council has announced that it’s looking at a number of different strategies to adopt throughout this year, aimed at reducing their carbon footprint even more than the current 44 per cent achieved.

10

2nd - 8th February

New baby arrivals virtually unchanged Photo credit: Pixabay

by Lynn Whittaker THE Vega Baja Hospital in Orihuela registered a total of 1,284 births in 2017. The figures have just been released by the hospital’s Obstetrics service and show an average number of 4.8 births every day of the year. The total is down on 2016 when 1,303 children arrived in the world in the Vega Baja Hospital, a fall of just 19.

NEW BORN: Vega Baja Hospital saw 19 fewer births last year. professionals who work daily in

forms. Much of the woodwork

Almost 80 per cent of the

this unit offer mothers-to-be a

was replaced and the rooms

births - 1,016 - were natural

wide range of care, respecting

were fitted with new cup-

deliveries with the remainder

the preferences of the mother.

boards and doors.

being thanks to Caesarean

It’s for them to decide if they

Improvements were made

sections; the 20 per cent fig-

wish to have their birth in pri-

to the lighting and air condi-

ure being below the national

vacy, or to have their partner

tioning and, in addition, new

average for this method of giv-

or another person of their

bathrooms were installed

ing birth.

choice present.”

adapted to the special needs

Olaya Bernabe, nursing su-

The Maternity Ward was

of pregnant women and mak-

pervisor of the midwifery ser-

given a new look during last

ing them safer and more ac-

vice at the hospital said: “The

summer with a series of re-

cessible.

2nd - 8th February

Cabbies to carry on at Corvera PRESIDEN T of the association of

bers, to ensure that they will be able

dr ivers cur rently operating from

taxi drivers, Jose Luis Pascual Her-

to operate at the new Cor vera Air-

Murcia-San Javier Airport will auto-

nandez, together with the mayor of

port. It’s due to be fully operational

matically transfer to the new region-

S a n Jav i e r, Jo s e M i g u e l L u e n g o ,

later this year.

al airport, and not have their liveli-

have given their unconditional sup-

Subject to confirmation from the

port to the demands of their mem-

Murcia regional authorities, the taxi

Crash victim found dead A TWENTY-SEVEN-YEAR-OLD man has died in a car accident on the RM-411 close to the village of Fenazar, in the municipality of Molina de Segura in Murcia. Emergency services were called to the scene following several 112 calls alerting them of a traffic incident that only involved one vehicle. On arrival, they found the man already dead in his car that had been wedged in the gutter alongside the road.

h o o d s a f fe c te d b y t h e c h a n g e o f location.

Parking ‘gorillas’ denounced for bad behaviour LOC AL POLICE in Murcia

screens in exchange for

have stopped four ‘gorillas’,

money.

and formally denounced 14

Police receive a number of

o ther p e ople for a number

complaints almost daily

of incidents in the city cen-

from members of the public

tre.

who feel intimidated and

‘Gorillas’ is the name giv-

threatened by these ‘gor il-

en to the people that patrol

las’ and feel that they have

local free parking areas of-

to pay them to avoid some-

fering to either keep watch

thing happening to their

on cars , or wash the wind-

vehicles.

13

14

2nd - 8th February

Reformed weather station unveiled Photo credit: Twitter

by Steve Collins LOCALS in Guardamar will be able to receive better weather information in the future. The municipality has seen a major upgrading of its weather station and after collaboration between them and water company Hidraqua, it has reopened. The technical enhancements to the service replaced the previous equipment that had been used since 2001 and in need of bringing further into the 21st century.

NICE DAY: Guardamar’s mayor (far right) visits new weather hub. The newly installed equipment will supply more precise, although easier to understand,

The unveiling of the new station was at-

information and will allow access to every-

tended by the mayor of Guardamar José

one via the dedicated website. There, people

Luis Sáez , Councillor Ana Mar tínez ,

will be able to consult daily weather fore-

Hidraqua’s manager Juan José Alonso and

casts and updates as well as the historical

the director of MeteOrihuela Pedro Gómez.

climate records of Guardamar.

Mayor Sáez said that it’s important both

Especially for farmers, the station will al-

from the point of view of the town hall and

so provide evapotranspiration data. This is

its residents that the municipality is better

the process by which water is transferred

prepared at all times to face any adverse

from the land to the atmosphere by evapora-

weather conditions. This includes being

tion from the soil and other surfaces and by

able to forecast any future snow that hit the

transpiration from plants... according to the

areas last January.

dictionary!

16

2nd - 8th February

1881 – A great year for corned beef lovers … and sceptics by Barry Duke

THE security geezer at Gatwick Airport was utterly nonplussed when he found six tins of Fray Bentos steak and kidney pies in my hand luggage. “I’m not sure if these are allowed on a plane,” adding: “In all the years I’ve been here I have never seen anyone trying to take pies out of the country.” So I explained how they got into my bag. Before leaving Brighton to return to Benidorm last November I’d put them in my suitcase, then weighed it using VERY accurate digital scales. The read-out said I was well within my allowance of 20 kilos. To be doubly sure, I borrowed a friend’s scales, which gave precisely the same reading. But when I placed the suitcase on

a check-in belt at Gatwick a machine advised me that I was 1.5 kilo over the allowance, ordered me to remove the case and pay a £10 surplus fee at the customer service desk. “Your scales,” I told an assistant, “are rubbish and I flatly refuse FRAY BENTOS: to pay.”“In that case,” he From then until said. “your luggage won’t now. go into the hold.” “Oh yes, it will and I’ll perplexed, show you how,” I bellowed. I so along opened the case, seized the pies came a third, and - for good measure - my toithen a fourth. letries bag, and hurled them into my After a lengthy hand luggage. debate the consensus Of course the toiletries bag was a was that the pies were good huge mistake. It contained creams to go, and I was sent on my way. and liquids in measures not permitWhile I was waiting for a verdict, ted on a plane, plus a prized cutand wondering if I’d get on the throat razor. I ground my teeth as plane, I noticed a banner on the these items - worth well in excess of cans that simply said ‘since 1881.’ £10 - were consigned to a trash can. Now for me this is a hugely sigBut the pies were put to one side nificant date, for in May of that year while the security man sought a seca young fellow called George ond opinion. A colleague was just as William Foote, born in Plymouth in

1850, began publishing the Freethinker, a weekly atheist journal priced one penny. Its combination of humour, illustrations and articles debunking religion and related subjects played a big part in its popularity. It had weekly sales of 10,000 in 1882 and circulation never fell below 4,000, a fascinating phenomenon given the importance of religion among Victorians. In its second year, Foote went too far with a mix of humour and anti-religious argument and, following publication of irreverent cartoons in the Christmas 1882 edition, he was prosecuted for blasphemy and sentenced to 12 months’ imprisonment with hard labour. The publication, however, continued without further hindrance. I was appointed its editor 20 years ago, and am still doing the job. But back to the pies. When I saw

1881 on the Fray Bentos tins, I immediately began to research the product and discovered via Wikipedia that in 1865, Liebig’s Extract of Meat Company was founded in Britain by German chemist Justus von Liebig. The company established a factory in Uruguay to manufacture a beef extract product that would later be sold under the name Oxo. In 1873, the factory began manufacturing tinned corned beef, which was sold in Britain under the name Fray Bentos, the town in Uruguay where the factory was located Fray Bentos was trademarked by Liebig in 1881 for the principal purpose of marketing corned beef. In the immediate post-war years, the Fray Bentos products were a staple food in Britain. The range was expanded to include canned meat pies such as steak and kidney and minced beef and onion, and I was delighted to discover last month that they are sold by Dealz at La Marina for just €1.50. Now which pie shall I have tonight for dinner? The chicken or the steak and kidney?

2nd - 8th February

19

legal

Q A

I want to become self-employed (autonomo I think it is called). What do I need to do to become this? First of all which autonomo is it that you require - there are two types. • Commercial/trading businesses (au-

by IGNACIO PELLICER MOLLÁ & PEDRO HEREDIA ORTIZ

LAWYERS

tonomo empresarial﴿. • Professionals/freelancers (autonomo profesional﴿. Within which there are individual subclassifications, depending on the type of business or professional activity. Furthermore, the Tax Agency and Social

Security offices both have their own clas-

Please remember that the application

sification systems. All of this can have

forms must be completed correctly and

some important effects on the timing and

appointments at these offices need to be

structure of tax payments.

made.

You must register at the Tax Agency and in the Social Security system.

Also bear in mind that regulations tend to change often!

If you have any questions regarding this or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us our team our experts will be happy to assist you. Call 965 480 737 or 606 056 282 or email info@pellicerheredia.com Videos at www.pellicerheredia.com

2nd - 8th February

21

money €50 notes on sale for €15 in Costa Blanca Photo credit: STOCK IMAGE

by Glenn Scott NATIONAL POLICE officers in Elche have arrested two men - an Italian and a Spanish national - caught in possession of a number of counterfeit notes.

and three genuine €20 notes in one of their pockets. Despite the high quality of the print, it was the standard of some of the security measures on the banknotes that led them to believe they were counterfeited.

Royal Mail buys Murcian courier

THE British Royal Mail has made its second acquisition in Spain, paying €16.5 million for Murcia-based Redyser Transporte. This is a small purchase when compared to the €71 million spent on ASM Urgent Transportation in 2016, but is part of a programme set up by the recently privatised operation to improve speedy delivery of shipments throughout Europe. The actual purchase

was placed through a Royal Mail subsidiary General Logistic Systems (GLS﴿ and it is expected that this latest acquisition will improve the GLS service in Spain, which is now the second largest network of urgent shipments in the country. Redyser has more than 200 offices and agencies throughout the area as well as 12 distribution centres and turned over €45 million in 2017.

The two, aged 38 and 52

The man detained con-

respectively, were caught af-

fessed that he’d brought the

ter a short monitoring oper-

fake €50 notes from Italy

Welcome the all-new Costa Calida

and had done a deal with

HOTELIERS that form part of the local business association (HOSTETUR﴿ are looking to create a new selection of enterprises to connect the area between Cabo de Palos and La Manga. They believe that such an initiative - that will see an urban zone including new commercial areas full of shops, restaurants, sporting facilities and hotels - can rejuvenate that part of the Costa Calida into an all-year tourist destination.

ation by the dedicated Citizen Security Brigade based in the city.

FAKES: Counterfeit operation spotted by Elche National Police.

the other man to sell them for €15 each.

The police began follow-

behaviour, who then met up

Officers immediately inter-

The police then searched

ing a man that had previous-

with another man and ap-

vened, and after establishing

the man’s car and found an-

ly been brought to their at-

peared to exchange some-

the identity of the men dis-

other 16 €50 notes in a suit-

tention for his suspicious

thing with him.

covered nine fake €50 notes

case and ready for sale.

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8:10am The Pets Factor 8:30am Matilda and the Ramsay Bunch 9:00am The Dengineers 9:30am Deadly Top 10 10:00am Robot Wars 12:00pm Homes Under the Hammer 1:00pm Hairy Bikers Mediterranean Adventure 2:00pm Tennis: Davis Cup Spain v GB 4:30pm Nigel Slater's Middle East: Lebanon 5:30pm Final Score 6:15pm Flog It! 7:00pm Hugh's Wild West 8:00pm A House Through Time 9:00pm Dad's Army 9:30pm Grand Tours of Scotland's Lochs 10:00pm Live at the Apollo 10:45pm QI XL

7:50am Super 4 8:00am Share a Story 8:05am Ultimate Spider-Man v the Sinister Six 8:30am Scrambled! 8:35am The Tom and Jerry Show 8:55am Fangbone 9:10am The Powerpuff Girls 9:30am The Haunted Hathaways 10:05am Wishfart 10:25am ITV News 10:30am Saturday Morning with James Martin 12:20pm Dancing on Ice 2:20pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:30pm Britain's Favourite Walks: Top 100 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm ITV News London 7:05pm ITV News 7:15pm You've Been Framed! 7:40pm Take Me Out

8:30am 9:30am 10:00am 10:30am 11:00am 11:30am 12:00pm 12:30pm 1:00pm 1:30pm 2:00pm 2:30pm 3:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 4:30pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm

Don't Tell the Bride Toy Story of Terror Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Transformers

7:00am Milkshake! 11:05am Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:40am Fail Army Comedy series taking a look at when things go wrong in the worst possible way. 12:05pm Police Interceptors 2:00pm The A-Team 4:00pm Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 6:00pm Rich House, Poor House 7:00pm 5 News 7:05pm The Wonderful World of Puppies 8:00pm Greatest Ever Celebrity Wind Ups 9:00pm Blind Date 10:00pm Football on 5 The Championship. 11:00pm Football on 5 Goal Rush.

4:30am 7:00am 8:45am 10:30am 12:20pm 2:30pm 4:15pm 6:10pm

The King's Choice One More Time Cardboard Boxer Ghost in the Shell King Arthur Chips Wakefield Ghost in the Shell Live-action reimagining of the classic animation about a cyborg government agent on the trail of a mysterious hacker. 8:00pm King Arthur Rip-roaring reworking of the classic tale about a roguish swordsman who discovers his birthright and takes on his evil uncle. 10:15pm Chips 12:00am One More Time

7:00am Football 10:15am Scottish Cup Greatest Games 10:30am SPFL Matters 11:00am Soccer A.M. 12:30pm SPFL Matters 12:55pm Football 3:00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 6:15pm Football 10:45pm EFL Goals: Championship 11:15pm Magical Messi 12:15am EFL Goals: Championship A round-up of all the goals and action from the weekend's games in the Sky Bet Championship. 12:45am EFL Greatest Games 1:00am La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid

7:05am 7:35am 8:05am 8:35am 9:30am

7:50am Super 4 8:00am Share a Story 8:05am Ultimate Spider-Man v the Sinister Six 8:30am Scrambled! 8:35am The Tom and Jerry Show 8:55am Ben 10 9:10am Mr Bean: The Animated Series 9:30am Spy School 10:05am Wishfart 10:25am ITV News 10:30am River Monsters 11:00am Peston on Sunday 12:00pm The Martin Lewis Money Show 12:30pm The Voice UK 2:00pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:10pm Britain's Brightest Family 2:40pm The Cruise 3:15pm Six Nations Live

5:45am 7:00am 9:25am 9:55am 10:30am 11:00am 11:30am 12:00pm 1:00pm 2:05pm 2:15pm 2:45pm 3:15pm 3:45pm 4:15pm 4:45pm 5:15pm 5:45pm 6:15pm 6:45pm 7:15pm 7:45pm

Rude(Ish) Tube Hollyoaks Omnibus Coach Trip Coach Trip Coach Trip Coach Trip Coach Trip The Crystal Maze The Crystal Maze Toy Story Toons The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Devil Wears Prada

6:10am The Great Artists 6:35am HouseBusters 7:00am Milkshake! Programming aimed at children aged two to seven years old. 11:05am Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:40am Football on 5 The Championship. 12:35pm Football on 5 Goal Rush. 1:10pm Fail Army 1:35pm Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 3:30pm Johnny English Reborn 5:25pm Earth to Echo 7:05pm 5 News

7:00am One More Time 8:50am Cardboard Boxer 10:35am Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Special. 11:05am My All American True-life sports drama about Freddie Steinmark an underdog American footballer 1:15pm King Arthur 3:25pm Chips A maverick FBI agent working undercover in the California Highway Patrol is partnered with a complete rookie 5:10pm Ghost in the Shell 7:00pm My All American 9:00pm King Arthur

9:30am EFL Goals: League 1 and 2 10:00am EFL Goals: Championship 10:30am Sunday Supplement 12:00pm Football 2:00pm La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid 2:15pm La Liga Icons 2:30pm Football's Greatest Teams 3:00pm EFL Goals: League 1 and 2 3:30pm EFL Goals: Championship 4:00pm La Liga Greatest Games 4:10pm Football 6:15pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:25pm Football 8:30pm La Liga Greatest Games

10:00am 12:00pm 1:00pm 2:00pm 3:00pm 3:50pm 4:45pm 5:15pm 6:15pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm

8:35am 8:55am 9:05am 9:20am 9:35am 9:55am 10:05am 10:15am 12:15pm 1:10pm 1:15pm 2:15pm 2:45pm 3:15pm 4:15pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 9:00pm

Peppa Pig Floogals Digby Dragon Rusty Rivets Shimmer and Shine Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom Mofy The Wright Stuff The Hotel Inspector 5 News Lunchtime Cowboy Builders Home and Away Neighbours NCIS: Deadly Assassins My Daughter is Innocent 5 News at 5 Neighbours Home and Away 5 News Tonight The Wine Show Celebrity Five Go Barging

4:10am The King's Choice 6:30am The Great Wall: Special 7:00am One More Time 8:45am Moana: Special 9:15am Wakefield 11:15am Fear Inc 1:00pm King Arthur Rip-roaring reworking of the classic tale, with Charlie Hunnam. 3:10pm Ghost in the Shell 5:10pm Viceroy's House Hugh Bonneville stars as Lord Mountbatten. 7:10pm One More Time 9:00pm King Arthur Rip-roaring reworking of the classic tale. 11:10pm Ghost in the Shell 1:00am Fear Inc 2:45am Cardboard Boxer

7:00am 7:15am 8:00am 8:30am 9:00am 10:00am 10:30am 11:00am 11:30am 12:00pm 12:30pm 1:00pm 1:30pm 2:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 7:00pm

EFL Greatest Games EFL Greatest Games Football Years Football Countdowns Football's Greatest Scottish Cup Greatest Games La Liga Greatest Games La Liga Show EFL Matters One2eleven SPFL Greatest Games La Liga Show EFL Matters La Liga Icons. EFL Matters Football's Greatest Scottish Cup Greatest Games La Liga Greatest Games La Liga Preview 2017/18 SPFL Matters

SATURDAY 7:00am Breakfast 11:00am Saturday Kitchen Live James Martin presents another menu of mouthwatering recipes, great chefs and celebrity guests. 12:30pm Mary Berry Everyday 1:00pm Football Focus 2:00pm BBC News 2:10pm Weather 2:15pm Six Nations Preview 2:45pm Six Nations Rugby Union 8:00pm BBC News 8:10pm Regional News 8:13pm Weather 8:15pm All Together Now 9:20pm Casualty 10:10pm BBC News 10:25pm Weather

SUNDAY 7:00am Breakfast 8:35am Match of the Day 10:00am The Andrew Marr Show 11:00am The Big Questions 12:00pm Sunday Politics 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:10pm Weather for the Week Ahead 2:15pm The Truth About Getting Fit 3:15pm Wonders of the Moon 4:15pm Escape to the Country 4:45pm Songs of Praise 5:20pm The Proposal 7:05pm BBC News 7:20pm Regional News 7:25pm Weather 7:30pm Countryfile Winter Special

11:00am 1:15pm 2:00pm 2:40pm

4:15pm 5:15pm 5:45pm 6:15pm 7:00pm 8:00pm

Coast The NFL Show Gardeners World Countryfile Saturday Kitchen Best Bites Tennis: Davis Cup Spain v GB MOTD2 Extra Orson Welles Talking Pictures Jane Eyre Adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's classic novel. Info not available Info not available Elise Christie: In From the Cold Ski Sunday Six Nations Rugby Special Yellowstone

MONDAY 10:15am Countryfile Winter Diaries 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Wanted Down Under 12:45pm A1: Britain's Longest Road 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm Regional News 2:45pm Doctors 3:15pm Moving On 4:00pm Escape to the Country 4:45pm The Farmers' Country Showdown 5:30pm Antiques Road Trip 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm Inside Out 9:00pm EastEnders

5:05am 7:00am 7:30am

This is BBC Two My Life in Books Wanted Down Under 8:15am Food: Truth or Scare 9:00am Antiques Roadshow 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 1:00pm The Daily Politics 2:00pm Women's Six Nations Highlights 2:30pm Coast 3:00pm Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape 4:00pm A Place to Call Home 4:50pm This Wild Life 5:20pm The Hunt 6:20pm Flog It! 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm Great American Railroad Journeys 8:00pm Big Dreams, Small Spaces 9:00pm Only Connect 9:30pm University Challenge

7:00am

11:30pm 11:45pm

7:30am Wanted Down Under 8:15am Countryfile Winter Diaries 9:00am Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 1:00pm The Daily Politics 2:00pm Super League Show 2:45pm Coast 3:00pm Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape 4:00pm A Place to Call Home 4:50pm This Wild Life 5:20pm The Hunt 6:20pm Flog It! 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm Great American Railroad Journeys 8:00pm Big Dreams Small Spaces 9:00pm Back in Time for Tea

10:25am The Oddbods Show 10:50am Super 4 11:20am Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 11:50am Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids 12:15pm Almost Naked Animals 12:45pm Horrid Henry 1:30pm Horrid Henry 1:45pm Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge 2:40pm Make it Pop 3:00pm Almost Naked Animals 3:15pm Almost Naked Animals 3:30pm The Oddbods Show 4:00pm Dino Dan: Trek's Adventures 4:25pm Super 4 5:00pm Mr. Bean 5:15pm Fangbone! 5:30pm Horrid Henry

9:30am 10:25am 11:30am 1:30pm 2:30pm 2:55pm 3:00pm 4:00pm 5:00pm 6:00pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 11:00pm

Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV Lunchtime News ITV News London Judge Rinder Dickinson's Real Deal Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London ITV Evening News Emmerdale Coronation Street The Martin Lewis Money Show Coronation Street Next of Kin ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News London Death Row 2018

Baby Daddy Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey How I Met Your Mother 11:30am How I Met Your Mother 12:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 3:30pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy 4:30pm Baby Daddy 5:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Coach Trip 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory

5:45am 7:00am 10:15am 12:15pm 1:10pm 1:15pm 2:10pm 2:15pm 2:45pm 3:15pm 5:00pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm

House Doctor Milkshake! The Wright Stuff The Hotel Inspector 5 News Cowboy Builders Access Home and Away Neighbours Killer Assistant NCIS 5 News Neighbours Home and Away 5 News Anglo Welsh Cup Highlights 9:00pm Police Interceptors 10:00pm The X Files 11:00pm The Silence of the Lambs 1:15am Traffic Cops 2:15am Super Casino 4:10am Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 5:00am Get Your Tatts Out: Kavos Ink

7:00am Top Ten Show, the 2018 7:20am Viceroy's House End-of-Empire drama about Lord Mountbatten, the viceroy appointed to oversee Britain's peaceful withdrawal from India in 1947. 9:25am Cardboard Boxer 11:10am My All American True-life sports drama about Freddie Steinmark, an underdog American footballer who overcame his small statute to become a University of Texas legend. 1:20pm King Arthur 3:30pm One More Time 5:15pm My All American 7:15pm Chips 9:00pm King Arthur

9:30am Football's Greatest Teams 10:00am La Liga Highlights: Barcelona 10:15am La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid 10:30am La Liga Greatest Games 10:45am La Liga Greatest Games 11:00am Football 5:15pm La Liga Icons 5:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm La Liga Highlights: Barcelona 6:15pm La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid 6:30pm Football Countdowns 7:00pm La Liga Files 7:45pm La Liga Icons 8:00pm Soccer A.M. 8:30pm La Liga Icons 8:45pm La Liga Greatest Games 8:55pm Football

7:00am 7:30am 8:00am 8:30am

6:35am 7:00am 10:15am 12:10pm 1:10pm 1:15pm 2:10pm 2:15pm 2:45pm 3:15pm 5:00pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm

4:15am One More Time 6:10am Top Ten Show, the 2018 6:30am The Great Wall: Special 7:00am Cardboard Boxer 8:45am My All American 10:55am Top Ten Show, the 2018 11:15am Texas Blood Drama about an old-fashioned Texas cowboy and former sheriff battling to keep possession of his treasured family ranch. 12:55pm King Arthur 3:15pm Chips 5:10pm My All American 7:20pm Texas Blood 9:00pm King Arthur 11:10pm Chips 1:00am Frank and Lola

1:00pm SPFL Round Up 2017/18 1:15pm SPFL Greatest Games 1:30pm Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 2:00pm La Liga Icons 3:00pm SPFL Round Up 2017/18 3:15pm SPFL Greatest Games 3:30pm Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 4:00pm Football's Greatest 4:30pm Football's Greatest Teams 5:00pm Scottish Cup Greatest Games 5:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm Football Years 6:30pm Football Countdowns 7:00pm Revista de la Liga

9:30am 10:00am 10:30am 11:00am

TUESDAY 7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Countryfile Winter Diaries 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Wanted Down Under Revisited 12:45pm A1: Britain's Longest Road 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm Regional News 2:45pm Doctors 3:15pm Moving On 4:00pm Escape to the Country 4:45pm The Farmers' Country Showdown 5:30pm Antiques Road Trip 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News

9:00am 10:00am 11:00am 12:00pm 12:30pm 1:00pm 1:30pm 2:00pm 3:00pm 4:00pm 4:30pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm

Hollyoaks Hollyoaks Coach Trip All Star Driving School Baby Daddy Melissa and Joey How I Met Your Mother Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory Melissa and Joey Baby Daddy Baby Daddy Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Hollyoaks

HouseBusters Milkshake! The Wright Stuff The Hotel Inspector 5 News Cowboy Builders Access Home and Away Neighbours The Devil's Teardrop NCIS 5 News Neighbours Home and Away 5 News Secrets of the National Trust 9:00pm QE2: The Worlds Greatest Cruise Ship 10:00pm Elizabeth Our Queen: A Life of Service 11:00pm Return to the Wild 12:00am Paddington Station 24/7

26

2nd - 8th February

WEDNESDAY 7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Countryfile Winter Diaries 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Wanted Down Under Revisited 12:45pm A1: Britain's Longest Road 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm Regional News 2:45pm Doctors 3:15pm Moving On 4:00pm Escape to the Country 4:45pm The Farmers'

7:30am Wanted Down Under Revisited 8:15am Countryfile Winter Diaries 9:00am See Hear 9:30am Great British Railway Journeys 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 12:30pm The Daily Politics 2:00pm Coast 3:00pm Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape 4:00pm A Place to Call Home 4:50pm This Wild Life 5:20pm New Zealand: Earths Mythical

4:50am 6:05am

ITV Nightscreen The Jeremy Kyle Show 7:00am Good Morning Britain 9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:55pm ITV News London 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Dickinson's Real Deal 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase

9:00am 9:30am 10:00am 10:30am 11:00am

Baby Daddy Baby Daddy Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey How I Met Your Mother 11:30am How I Met Your Mother 12:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 3:30pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy

5:45am 6:10am 6:35am 7:00am 10:15am 12:10pm 1:10pm 1:15pm 2:10pm 2:15pm 2:45pm 3:10pm 5:00pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm

6:05am

9:00am 9:30am 10:00am 10:30am 11:00am

8:55am 9:05am 9:20am 9:35am 9:55am

House Doctor The Great Artists HouseBusters Milkshake! The Wright Stuff The Hotel Inspector 5 News Cowboy Builders Access Home and Away Neighbours Midnight Stallion NCIS 5 News Neighbours Home and Away 5 News

6:10am Top Ten Show, the 2018 6:30am The Great Wall: Special 7:00am Cardboard Boxer 8:35am Texas Blood 10:05am King Arthur 12:15pm Chips 2:00pm One More Time 3:45pm My All American 5:45pm Texas Blood 7:15pm Chips 9:00pm King Arthur 11:10pm Harmonium 1:15am Frank and Lola 2:50am One More Time 4:45am My All American

9:30am Football's Greatest Teams 10:00am Revista de la Liga 10:30am La Liga World 11:00am Eredivisie 12:00pm One2eleven 12:15pm One2eleven 12:30pm SPFL Greatest Games 12:45pm SPFL Greatest Games 1:00pm Revista de la Liga 1:30pm La Liga World 2:00pm La Liga Icons 2:45pm La Liga Icons 3:00pm Revista de la Liga 3:30pm La Liga World

4:45am 7:00am

10:30am La Liga Greatest Games 10:45am La Liga Greatest Games 11:00am Revista de la Liga 11:30am La Liga World 12:00pm One2eleven 12:30pm SPFL Greatest Games 1:00pm Revista de la Liga 1:30pm La Liga World 2:00pm La Liga Icons 3:00pm Eredivisie 4:00pm Football's Greatest 4:30pm Football's Greatest

THURSDAY 7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Countryfile Winter Diaries 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Wanted Down Under Revisited 12:45pm A1: Britain's Longest Road 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News at One 2:30pm BBC London News 2:45pm Doctors 3:15pm Moving On 4:00pm Escape to the Country

7:00am My Life in Books 7:30am Wanted Down Under Revisited 8:15am Countryfile Winter Diaries 9:00am MasterChef: The Professionals 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 1:00pm The Daily Politics 2:00pm Coast 3:00pm Monty Halls' Great Hebridean Escape 4:00pm A Place to Call Home

The Jeremy Kyle Show 7:00am Good Morning Britain 9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:55pm ITV News London 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Dickinson's Real Deal 5:00pm Tipping Point

Baby Daddy Baby Daddy Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey How I Met Your Mother 11:30am How I Met Your Mother 12:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey

Floogals Digby Dragon Rusty Rivets Shimmer and Shine Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 10:05am Mofy 10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm GPs: Behind Closed Doors 1:10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1:15pm Cowboy Builders 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS

My All American Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Special Sky Movies takes a behind-the-scenes look at the latest trip into JK Rowling's wizarding world. 7:30am Texas Blood 9:15am Chips 11:05am King Arthur 1:15pm Escape Room 3:00pm Texas Blood

this week weather FRI SAT SUN MON TUE WED THU Feb 2 Feb 3 Feb 4 Feb 5 Feb 6 Feb 7 Feb 8 15º/7ºC 14º/7ºC 17º/9ºC 19º/10ºC 18º/11ºC 18º/11ºC 18º/11ºC Clouds and sun

Clouds and sun

Clouds and sun

Clouds and sun

Sunshine and patchy cloud

Sunshine and patchy cloud

Clouds and sun

28

2nd - 8th February

Who’s laughing now

by Michael Walsh

Photo Credit: President of Russia

Photo Credit: GCHQ Ministry of Defence

keyboardcosmetics@gmail.com WHERE mass demonstrations failed and insurrection found wanting many a regime was brought crashing to the ground by ridicule. The royal houses of Britain could shrug off criticism by the bucketful but what the ruling elite fear most is ridicule.

world; may I, please?”

One is reminded of the small party of

The shocked guide told the imperti-

babushkas being shown for the first time

nent grandmother that only state ap-

best if he was put up against the wall.

the wonders of modern broadcasting.

proved presenters could use this device.

The Soviets were unlikely to be amused

During a guided tour of Radio Moscow

at the skit that takes place in a school

the elderly tourists were awestruck as

classroom. Carefully, it is explained to

they entered the broadcasting studio.

“Now, children, what would you like to be when you grow up,” asked the school’s inspector. ‘An orphan,’ was heard from the back

luxurious trappings that come with high office. “But, Nikita,” she whispered. “What will you do if the Communists come back?” The joke goes that the tourist visiting

sir, it is a microphone.” of the classroom.

it whilst his foil suggested it might be

erland and their father is Josef Stalin.

his mother the grand gardens and the

The waiter smiles, “It’s not a dumpling,

portrait of Stalin. One suggested hanging

the pupils that their country is the moth-

tourage, the latest Soviet leader showed

pected a dumpling with his soup. BIG BROTHER: Not just watching in Russia.

the Gulag. A famous skit depicted two comedians wondering what to do with a

of limousines and his flunkies as en-

Moscow complains that he hadn’t ex-

Making fun of the Soviet system was sure to get the joker a one-way ticket to

around his palatial dacha. With its fleet

Patiently, their guide showed her

“Just one word, one little word,” the elderly babushka begged. Relenting, the guide replied; “Alright but just one little word, mind you.”

We laughed when we heard the gag, ‘they have television in the Soviet Union but there it watches you.’ Today, our every email is stored as is every telephone conversation. Social media are the combine harvesters of illicit information. Perhaps we see ourselves and our situ-

guests a microphone. She then explained

Reassured, the elderly woman drew

ation in similar light but let’s not mock.

that when you spoke into the device you

closer to the microphone and pressing

Presenters of Western media are far

could speak to the entire world.

the button screamed, “Help!”

more reprehensible. They parrot propa-

An elderly lady pleaded: “Oh, please, I

First Secretary Nikita Khrushchev

would love to say something to the

proudly showed his elderly mother

ganda when all they need fear is the loss of their job.

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2nd - 8th February

29

Haber and the present perfect tense

Basic Spanish for everyday needs

by Jane Cronin

WELL hello there! Have you had a good week?

these kinds of questions, or answers, using ten-

we were looking at those things called past par-

Habé is hablado con mi vecino.

Have you been busy? Have you done anything

er.’ We have a different verb to translate ‘have’

ticiples and saying that they joined together with

(You have spoken to my neighbour﴿.

interesting? What have you done today before

or ‘has’ when talking about the recent past, and

these forms of ‘haber’ to talk about the recent

Han hablado con mi vecino.

reading this? I have just got out of bed and

that is ‘haber.’

past.

made a cup of tea, but you don’t need to know that. Those of you who have been up slightly longer than I have and are sufficiently awake

(They have spoken to my neighbour﴿.

Like all verbs in Spanish, ‘haber’ changes its

Not wishing to be tedious, but I want to re-

To make it slightly more interesting, we can

forms depending on who the subject of the sen-

mind you again that these past participles don’t

also change the possessive adjectives, so that

tence is, that is, who is controlling the action.

need to change at all. They remain exactly as

you have spoken to your neighbour, and we

This is how ‘haber’ goes:

they are, independently of anything else, relying

have spoken to our neighbour, like this:

should have noticed something about these

Singular

on the verb ‘haber’ to make the relevant

He hablado con mi vecino.

questions. They all contain the word ‘have’ and

He • I have

changes for them.

(I have spoken to my neighbour﴿

they are all enquiring about recent past events.

Has • you have (familiar﴿

To illustrate this, let’s go back to the first of

Has hablado con tu vecino.

Ha • He/she has. You have (formal﴿

our example sentences again: ‘He hablado con

(You have spoken to your neighbour﴿

last week’s article

Plural

mi vecino.’ (I have spoken to my neighbour﴿

Ha hablado con su vecino.

Now you should remember that at the end of we said that,

Hemos • We have

however tempt-

Habé is • You have (familiar﴿

ing it is, we can-

Han • They have. You have (formal﴿

He hablado con mi vecino.

(We have spoken to our neighbour﴿.

not translate the

This verb ‘haber’ is an odd one because it is

(I have spoken to my neighbour﴿

Habé is hablado con vuestro vecino.

word ‘have’ in

rarely used on its own and generally has no in-

Has hablado con mi vecino.

(You have spoken to your neighbour﴿.

dependent meaning, apart from in a few odd

(You have spoken to my neighbour﴿

Han hablado con su vecino.

We can change the person doing the action

(S/he has spoken to his/her neighbour﴿ Hemos hablado con nuestro vecino.

purely by changing ‘haber’ as follows:

expressions. Usually ‘haber’ is used to help

Ha hablado con mi vecino.

(They have spoken to their neighbour﴿

change the meaning of other verbs, as in the

(S/he has spoken to my neighbour﴿

If you find this a bit repetitive, well it is, but I’ve

case we are looking at now.

Hemos hablado con mi vecino.

generally found repetitiveness a very useful

(We have spoken to my neighbour﴿.

thing!

So, taking your minds back an article or two,

home & garden

Oleanders ideal for a Mediterranean garden Photo Credit: Olga Lamonova Shutterstock.

IF you are in an area that has had good rainfall you are fortunate. The gardens in most areas are desperately waiting for post summer rains. It has been so dry, with lower than average rain last year in many areas of Spain. The main challenge of Mediterranean gardening is this survival through summer, often with scant supplies of quality water. It is so important to select your plants with this in mind when setting out, or developing your garden.

many cultivars to provide a variety of colours and forms. It can be grown as a shrub or tree and pruned after flowering has finished, or as required, to keep it contained to make hedges, pot plants, wind protection and shade. It is very important to know it has toxins in its sap that can irritate the skin and, in some cases, cause illness when exposed to the skin. Protective gloves and clothing are essential to prune or handle the plant. Ingestion can

The careful selection of plants to suit

cause vomiting and other severe reactions,

Mediterranean conditions does restrict the

so ensure that children (young and older﴿ are

variety of species we can include in our gar-

well aware never to touch the Oleander. It is

dens. This is not boring to me. It gives a char-

best as a peripheral planting or background

acteristic Mediterranean garden theme

plant for this reason.

throughout the region, that I find alluring. It

CHOOSE PLANTS CAREFULLY: Oleander in flower.

is easiest to use tried and tested plants that

deciduous ‘Flamingo Maple’ (Acer Negundo

way the tree changes

you can grow them from tip cuttings, 8cm

you know will survive here, and that will have

Flamingo﴿. It emerges with pink leaves in

with the season, and often comments on it.

long, taken in late summer. I have grown

a harmony with neighbouring gardens.

spring, has variegated leaves in summer and

A beautiful example of a hardy acclima-

them from seed and have a beautiful red one

Smaller plants are not very expensive, but

With appropriate summer preparations

cream, light-brown autumn leaves. It flourish-

tised flowering plant, that most Mediter-

that I had to wait a year to know which

that allow the traditional hardy plants to

es in the microclimate created by the rest of

ranean gardens have for their abundant flow-

colour it would be.

thrive, you can add additional varieties that

the garden. Our local neighbour, who still dri-

ers and hardiness in the summer months, is

It is best to plant Oleander in autumn, after

need more protection and care. In amongst

ves her donkey cart to collect her seasonal al-

the Oleander. Its name is derived from its

the first decent rains, so they establish by the

my colourful Mediterranean shrubs I have a

mond and caper harvest, is fascinated by the

botanical name (Nerium Oleander﴿. It has

next summer with minimal watering.

30

2nd - 8th February

Puzzles Code Breaker

Play on Words 1S2A3F4E5T6Y7

Kenny Corris I For Readings, Consultations and Castings email: kennycorris@hotmailcom / www.kennycorris.net Mobile: 686 361 594 / Tel: 965 878 424

OHIOWA

Answers: Safety in numbers. United States.

It takes two to tango and someone has enlisted the help they need to prove you wrong. With sincerity, if you knew then what you know now, you would have never got involved in the first place. However, this is not a time to run away from accusations that are best done and dusted. Right now, do have your say! Believe in karma.

Word Wheel The goal of a word wheel puzzle is to create as many words possible with the letters in the word wheel. You can only use each letter once and every word must have the letter in the center of the wheel. Can you find the 9 letter word?

The Venus square on Jupiter is enlightening and rewarding; especially as there is more to what is going on right now than meets the eye. Jupiter has a sharp eye for due reward and recompense and has your true interests at heart. Between these two planets comes a new negotiation that favours putting your good foot forward. Everything points the way to making the changes you need to enable you to move on. Timing is of the essence this week, as push turns to shove, and the impetus is not to let anyone down in the process. Mercury opposes Ceres and this sees your routines going out of the window, but hallo to new and more exciting schedules! Sharpen the pincers, it’s going to be a bumpy ride! Your inner self is bidding for calm whereas your instinct is to make a song and dance about recent events. With Uranus targeted in a sextile with Venus start to think of the bigger picture; whilst remembering that revenge is a dish best served cold and you have other fish to fry! With the Sun in opposition to Ceres, and Mercury opposing, you don’t need that anybody tries to rain on your parade. You have worked so hard for all that you have right now, and you’re ambition and temerity is keeping you rock solid. Don’t listen to those who seek to hold you back with their sage and friendly advice, this time around! Faced with your current options, do not give in to compromise in any way. Staying silent isn’t a solution either, and time and tide are not waiting for your excuses. Mercury plays devil’s advocate whilst sextiling Mars; which should lead to a midweek show down or go for bust. Just once in your life stand up for yourself, by yourself! Balancing all the many things that you do is especially difficult this week, as the scales are quivering. Inner anger has brought you to your knees and it has to be the first thing that you have to deal with. Pressure may be on, but above all see to it that your point of view is known, and then take any further action you feel appropriate! Mars and Mercury start your week with a bang. The powerful energies of the Cosmos bring success right to your door, with actions and communication ready and willing to send out the message you need to be heard. There will be no time like the present, since dynamic energy abounds and in the right hands this can make magic! Your planning skills are needed to ensure that a worthwhile project gets off the ground. With Venus squaring on your planetary leader, Jupiter, you cannot go wrong, but without you it may be a very different kettle of fish. You’ll get all the backing you need, and give generously of your time, but keep your hand in your pocket this time. You can never resist a challenge! Right now you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain in showing everyone what you are all about. Venus sextiles Kora and this means that your interpretation is free and will be understood without question. Silence, right now, is just not what you are all about, anyway! Venus and Uranus are in sextile and there appears on your horizon an alternative that you hadn’t thought of. It is not stubborn to have to say no, even when you would rather say yes, if that is how you truly feel. Let it be known, once and for all, that you are not to be messed with, but accept every cloud has a silver lining. Take some precious time for yourself this week as you need to charge your battery and power up your mojo! Taking time should not have to be your secret pleasure, but with current commitments and pressures, you are left feeling that there is no time for yourself. Delegate to others more than you do, and top up that R and R.

Each number in the Code Breaker grid represents a different letter of the alphabet. In this week’s puzzle, 6 represents R and 8 represents G, so fill in R every time the figure 6 appears and G every time the figure 8 appears. Now, using your knowledge of the English language, work out which letters should go in the missing squares. As you discover the letters, fill in other squares with the same number in the main grid and the control grid.

Kenny’s Postbag Kenny, I often dream of my deceased Mother and she seems to be floating around with her arms open. Does this mean that she wants to move on? How can I help her? Doreen J. Doreen, often floaters are people who lived in pain whilst they were on Earth. The freedom of being without pain allows them to travel freely and contented in the safety of the Spirit World that they now inhabit. All who succeed in connecting with their living relatives and friends love to be acknowledged. That way you can assure them absolutely that you can see them!

Kenny Corris

Don't forget to email or message me with your Postbag Questions!. Check out my new website: www.kennycorris.net

For Birthday Celebrants Take every opportunity for just what it is, and don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Your intuition is strong and this Astrological year sees those who dare…. winning!

The 9 letter word is:

Kakuro Fill all the empty squares using the numbers 1 to 9, so that the sum of each horizontal block equals the ‘clue’ on its left, and the sum of each vertical block equals the clue on its top. No number may be used in the same block more than once.

2nd - 8th February

31

More Puzzles Cryptyc

Across 1 Oriental brass made into weapons (6) 3 In the midst of conflict he besieged an ancient Greek city (6) 8 Tidy hospital worker (7) 10 They have pride in their families (5) 11 Affordable cooked peach (5) 12 Top level infiltrating the French network (7) 13 Celebration in the back bar (5) 15 Trainee soldier from America detained (5) 20 Typical example of tempo that is changed (7) 22 Push a canal boat (5) 24 Carry note for facial hair (5) 25 Refined gate Len made (7) 26 Stick plug in this place (6) 27 Holmes’ assistant is now sat around (6)

Futoshiki

Down 1 Twenty nearly get church to burn (6) 2 Small bird I lost in move (5) 4 Serf requiring helium – a great deal (5) 5 ‘I’m bored silly’ is a platitude (7) 6 Nun is back to sort out the rest (6) 7 Diplomacy cleverly concealed revolution (5) 9 Regret having gym in Indian capital (5) 14 Tombstone inscription in English mine, by A P Herbert, originally (7) 16 Take a chance first off, it’s a stroll (5) 17 Rabies treatment for this country (6) 18 Characters in a magazine were more up-to-date (5) 19 Comedian spotted in a Beamer tonight (6) 21 Sort out the charge (5) 23 Wanders around for nothing, among the sheep (5)

Quick

Fill in the squares so that each digit from 1 to 6 occurs exactly once in each row and column. Greater-than and less-than signs indicate the relationship of the two adjacent squares. There is only one solution, and you can find it without guessing.

Sudoku

English - Spanish

Fill the grid so every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1-9 The clues are mixed, some clues are in Spanish and some are in English.

Across 1 Lawn (6) 4 Ópalo (4) 8 Entre (más de dos elementos) (5) 9 Rígido (tieso) (5) 10 Call (telecommunications) (7) 14 Bee (insect) (5) 15 Cave (5) 16 Empujar (4) 17 Torcedura (6)

Down 1 Garra (de animal) (4) 2 Hombros (9) 3/15 Huevera (3,3) 5 Spring (season) (9) 6 Izquierdo (4) 7 Island (4) 11 Abbot (4) 12 Húmedo (clima) (4) 13 Advertir (4) 15 See 3

Across 1 Disperse (7) 5 Goods carried by a large vehicle (5) 8 Earnest or urgent requests (7) 9 Goddess of love (5) 10 Recently made, produced or harvested (5) 11 Person engaged in military service (7) 12 Be able to spare or give up (6) 14 Consisting of one only or one part (6) 17 Opposed to (7) 19 Short musical compositions with words (5) 22 Sharp hard part of the leaf, stem or root of a plant (5) 23 Farm vehicle (7) 24 Soiled (5) 25 Meet the requirements or expectations of (7)

Down 1 Personnel (5) 2 Fruit with red, yellow or green skin and sweet to tart crisp whitish flesh (5) 3 Educator (7) 4 Strive against or oppose (6) 5 Applying to ordinary citizens as contrasted with the military (5) 6 Going swiftly, at more than a walking pace (7) 7 Watch (7) 12 Changed in order to improve or made more fit for a particular purpose (7) 13 Taste experience when a savoury condiment is taken into the mouth (7) 15 Immediate (7) 16 Condition of affairs (6) 18 Female goat (5) 20 Brief written records (5) 21 Wander away (5)

32

2nd - 8th February

health

New Quironsalud Torrevieja ambulance and home healthcare service THE Health Premium Services card includes a limited flat-rate ambulance and home healthcare service for just €150 a year. Hospital Quironsalud Torrevieja is implementing a pioneering home healthcare service aimed especially to attend the needs of international res-

idents in the Vega Baja. This service is offered by the Health Premium Services card and revolutionises private healthcare models, as it offers exclusive, high quality assistance from Quironsalud, the leading company in social and healthcare services in Spain and a benchmark company in Europe. This new personalised service, by an international medical team made up of an ambulance service, doctors, and nurses, is delivered in the comfort of your home. It also includes the care of international health personnel who speak various languages, and priority service for medical appointments. Card holders will have ac-

cess to all the benefits Hospital Quironsalud Torrevieja offers, such as a whole range of medical specialities that assure the comprehensive treatment of each patient, and agreements with all national and international insurance and travel companies. Limited flat-rate service The new medical Health Premium Services offers a limited annual flat-rate charge for ambulance services, medical care and nurse care: • Ambulance service (12 transfers﴿ • Home medical healthcare service (five visits﴿ • Home nursing care service (12 visits﴿

HOSPITAL AMBLANCE: New service.

• Priority service for medical appointments • 10 per cent discount on all private medical and surgical services • Access to the prevention campaign programme • Care of international health personnel who speak languages • Free benefits • Management of appointments and digital access to your clinical reports from the comfort of your home through the Patient Portal • Preferential admission service Hospital Quironsalud Torrevieja has been recognised as the best hospital within the public and private network of the Alicante Province, and best private hospital in the Valencian community for the second year running, by the Index of Hospital Excellence from the Spanish Coordenadas Institute. It also received recogni-

tion for being ‘Highly Recommended’ in the category of Best International Hospital from all over the world at the IMTJ Medical Travel Awards 2017. About Quironsalud Quironsalud is the most important hospital group in Spain, and the third largest in Europe. It can be found in 13 autonomous communities in Spain, has state-of-the-art technology and offers over 6,500 beds in more than 100 healthcare centres, such as Fundacion Jimé nez Dí az, Hospital Universitario Quirnsalud Madrid, Hospital Universitario Dexeus, Ruber, Centro Medico Teknon, Hospital La Luz, etc, as well as a huge team of highly qualified professionals of international prestige. They promote teaching (seven of their centres are university hospitals﴿ and medical and scientific research (they run the FJD [Spanish acronym, Jimé nez

Diaz Foundation] Instituto de Investigacion Sanitaria [Healthcare Research Institute], the only private research centre licensed by the Secretarí a de Estado de Investigacion, Desarrollo e Innovacion [Ministry for Research, Development and Innovation]﴿. Likewise, their healthcare service is organised in units and crosscutting networks that allow for the optimisation of accumulated experience at difference centres, and the clinical application of their research. Currently, Quironsalud is developing many research projects across Spain, and many of its healthcare centres carry out cutting edge work in this field, as pioneers in different specialisations such as radiology, cardiology, endocrinology, gynaecology, neurology, oncology and sports medicine, among others.

Paracetamol may not be safe to take during pregnancy PARACETAMOL is the most widelyused painkiller, and is deemed the only one suitable and safe for mothersto-be, but now studies by scientists have found it can have an effect on the baby, particularly girls. Tests found when a mother took paracetamol her female offspring had fewer eggs and smaller ovaries. They found paracetamol had effects on baby boys also, raising their risk of infertility and cancer. Meanwhile, another study has found women who take paracetamol

during pregnancy may also increase the risk of their child developing ADHD. Researchers in New Zealand analysed the use of paracetamol, aspirin, antacids, and antibiotics during pregnancy, and measured symptoms in children at ages seven and 11. Almost half of the mothers took paracetamol during pregnancy and their children were more at risk of behavioural difficulties and ADHD. The other drugs made no significant differences to the child.

2nd - 8th February

33

health

Early rising can make you slimmer A STUDY has found that people

Possible help for cancer treatment SLEEP: Changes with age.

suffer from insomnia.

the over-60’s describing them-

who went to bed earlier and got

Almost 90,000 people were

selves as morning types compared

up earlier in the morning, tended

asked if they were naturally a

to those aged under 30. Women

to be thinner than those who go to

morning or a night person, and

were more likely to enjoy mornings

bed later.

had their DNA analysed, which re-

than men.

The results came from a study

vealed 15 genes that were linked

The study by a genetic testing

that analysed the DNA of self-pro-

to a person being a ‘lark’ or an

company in California, USA, sug-

fessed ‘night owls’ and ‘morning

‘owl’.

gested that a gene involved in

larks’. It also discovered that those

A preference for mornings in-

body weight also affects whether

who woke earlier were less prone

creased the older someone was,

someone is at their best in the

to depression and less likely to

with more than twice as many of

morning or at night.

Sleeping problems could be serious NOT getting enough sleep?

As well as snoring and in-

sleeping, compared with 36

Join the club as nearly half

somnia, symptoms include

per cent of men, with

of all women are sleep de-

restless legs, fatigue, de-

women also more likely to

prived and constantly tired.

pression, headaches and

wake during the night. Six in

muscle pain.

10 women said they be-

It can be a side effect of getting older, as sleep is a

A survey of 4,100 British

come irritable during the

problem as women ap-

adults found that 46 per

day because of lack of

proach the menopause, but

cent of women have trouble

sleep.

it could also be a sign of a more serious underlying medical condition, sleep apnoea. A disturbed night is often caused by the disorder sleep apnoea, which causes snoring and dangerous pauses in breathing. The chances of getting the disorder can be increased during pregnancy, and the menopause increases a woman’s risk of suffering from the disorder. It is thought around 1.5 million adults in Britain suffer with sleep apnoea, yet many do not talk to a doctor about the problem, and if left untreated it can lead to a stroke or heart attacks.

VIGOROUS exercise could help those going through treatment for cancer. Whilst it may be the last thing patients feel like doing, a group of researchers at the University of Copenhagen said it could be beneficial in the long term. They have been studying tumours in mice and discovered that intensive physical activity can help the body’s own defences shrink the growth of tumours by up to 50 per cent. They believe there could be a similar effect for human cancer patients. Researchers found ‘natural killer’ cells were directed towards tumours during exercise, and they believe the shot of adrenaline produced by a high-intensity workout helps move these immune cells towards lung, liver, or skin tumours. Meanwhile, Macmillan Cancer Care found 77 per cent of cancer patients had not received any advice from their physicians on the benefits of exercise.

34

2nd - 8th February AIR CONDITIONING

MECHANIC

CHIMNEY SWEEP

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HAVE YOUR SAY

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FRIENDSHIP

Popular post on Facebook this week reaching 18,462 people with 104 reactions and comments “Benidorm hen and stag parties facing the axe amid hotel crackdowns”

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LANGUAGE SERVICES

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INSURANCE

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MOTORING WE ARE currently the market leader in our country in the sale of firect car, motorbike, home and company fleet insurance. Since we started out in 1995, our philosophy has always been to offer an excellent service with the best prices in the market. For the most competitive quotes in English, call Linea Directa on 902 123 309 (200726).

LOCKSMITHS

• Sniffer dogs to combat teen drug use in Benidorm

• Drug and drunk drivers to pay a bigger price

In Total 17,179 people reached 13,553 reactions

News & Views from the North & South Costa Blanca & Costa de Sol

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LESSONS

Just a shame that some Hen and Stag do's spoil it for the majority who are out to celebrate their friends to be nuptials and have fun

• British consul visits Alicante to discuss Brexit

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2nd - 8th February

SITUATIONS VACANT

TV & SATELLITE

37

2nd - 8th February

motoring

Picking up the E-PACE

by Tom Woods JAGUAR recently introduced its new E-PACE model at a presentation in Mar-

sign is inspired by the F-

C de Salamanca.

Type and is characterised

The E-PACE is a compact

by the distinctive Jaguar

five-seater SUV with the de-

grille and trimmed over-

sign and performance of a

hangs.

sports car.

According to Jaguar: “The

Credit: RTN Newspaper

bella hosted by distributor

vices. The Configurable Dynamics system allows drivers to make individual adjustments

to

the

accelerator,

automatic

This four-wheel drive

E-PACE combines the inte-

transmission, steering and

model joins Jaguar’s SUV

rior space, connectivity and

suspension.

stable which includes the

safety that families expect,

In addition, the 300 HP

SUV

recently

with a quality of design and

turbo engine allows the car

awarded the World Car of

F-PACE,

performance that is not

to reach 100 km/h in 6.4

the Year.

usually associated with such

seconds, with a maximum

a practical vehicle.”

speed of 243 km/h.

The sporty exterior de-

It is a technically ad-

Overall, the Jaguar E-

vanced and intelligent

PACE combines all the

model, with a touch-screen

character of a sports car,

entertainment system that

with the space needed by

connects customers with

young families.

their favourite apps. There are four 12-volt charging points, five USB ports and a 4G Wi-Fi hotspot for up to eight de-

WHEEL ALTERNATIVE: The E-PACE is a triumph of style and practicality.

38

2nd - 8th February

motoring

Mazda win Concept Car of the Year Award THE Mazda Vision Coupe has won

Kia, Lamborghini, Mercedes-Benz

the title of Most Beautiful Concept

Mercedes-Maybach, Nissan and

Car of the Year at the 33rd Festival

Peugeot, all of which had en-

Automobile International in Paris.

tered their own concepts in-

This is the second time in two

to the competition.

years that a concept car from the

”The Vision Coupe uses

Japanese car manufacturer has

reflections to express a

won the top award at the festival,

sense of vitality, the next

which attracts a crowd of more

step for Kodo design,”

than 35,000 to the Hotel National

said Ikuo Maeda, Mazda

des Invalides in the French capital.

managing executive offi-

The jury, which included automobile and motor sport experts as

that the exterior’s simple form

brand style.

well as architects and fashion de-

”This car embodies a delicate

signers, chose the Vision Coupe,

Japanese aesthetic, and to be

over nine other models nominated

recognised here in the ‘City of Art’

for the coveted honour this year. The company beat Audi, BMW,

The company believes

cer in charge of design and

expresses a sense of speed, whilst the interior borrows a congratifying. We want to retain

cept from traditional Japanese ar-

our identity as a Japanese brand as

chitecture, to create a degree of

two years after the RX-Vision was

we continue making cars with

three-dimensional depth con-

awarded the same honour is very

global appeal.”

ducive to a relaxed space.

WINNER: The triumphant Mazda Vision Coupe.

39

2nd - 8th February

sport

San Javier Golf Society Individual Stableford Qualifier

CADENA SUNRISE 10 PIN BOWLING LEAGUE 24th JANUARY 2018 (WEEK 13)

ANOTHER full house for a great day’s golf with the society

RESULTS

at the fabulous Lo Romero course, which looked a little odd due to the iconic 18th island green being drained of water from the surrounding lake for maintenance. Perfect sunny conditions and some great golf played, with almost everyone scoring well. The winners on the day were: Division 1: First was Steve Branston with 38 points, Second - Jim Moffatt on 37, Third - Paul Newman with 36. In Division 2: First was Mick Hardy with 38 points, Sec-

ALLEY CATS

8-0

THE PHANTOMS

PIN PUSHERS

8-0

S***T HAPPENS

999s

6-2

THE BANDITS

SUNRISE COLEGAS

0-8

SOL AMIGOS

STRIKE FORCE

6-2

ALLEY GATORS

8-0

THIS WEEK’S TOP PERFORMERS

ond - Clyde Sandry on 34, Third - Captain Paul Hamlin on

LADIES

33. In Division 3: First was John Hillier with 40 points, Second - Sandra Twentyman on 38 and Third - Jeff Belt also

HI/GAME JANETTE HURST 199

with 38. Nearest the pins were won by David Archer, John

HI/GAME+H/CAP VAL ROWE 239

Hillier and Eric Woolams.

HI/SERIES JANETTE HURST 519

The gross two (for €50﴿ was not won and will roll on to La Serena. For further information on the society, to play as a guest, or to join, please phone Barry Beale on +34 649

? 245 889 or look at the website at www.sanjaviergolf and

Facebook

page

www.facebook.com/san javiergolfsociety .

GENTS MARCO FLORES 213

HI/SERIES+H/CAP VAL ROWE 590

the next game, which is a team ‘Dusty Bin’ competition at

soci ety.co.uk

PIN PALS GI GI'S HOOKERS

at WINNER: Of Division 1 - Steve Branston.

PAUL KUNDIS 234 MARCO FLORES 618 PAUL KUNDIS 656