RTN Newspaper - Costa Blanca South 4 - 10 August 2017 Issue 928

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Issue 928

Suffocating heat by Glen Scott OVERNIGHT temperatures reached record levels on Wednesday night. The mercury levels in parts of Alicante city didn’t drop below 30ºC, resulting in one of the most suffocating nights experienced in a generation. Official data from the Spanish State Meteorological Agency – AEMET – showed 28ºC at Alicante-Elche Airport which had their warmest night since records began 50 years ago, beating the 27.3ºC back in August 2015. The high temperature in Alicante city jumped from the previous highest recorded of 26.7ºC which was registered on two occasions in 1956 and 2015. Wednesday night’s torrid heat was the highest in almost 80 years. Along the coast, Benidorm also suffered a 30ºC night and El Campello, Elche, Calpe, Busot and Torrevieja stayed at 28ºC. A slightly cooler 27ºC was experienced in Mutxamel and San Vicente. Murcia didn’t allow its provincial neighbour Alicante to steal the limelight. They also hit 30ºC in parts, accompanied by unbearable levels of humidity registering 80 per cent. San Javier didn’t fall below 27.2ºC and Cartagena 26ºC. Members of the University of Alicante have explained the reasons for the current climate, stating the presence of a mass of exceptionally warm air, plenty of cloud full of dust and sand – just take a look at the queues at the car washes – and an above-normal sea temperature have combined together. As daytime temperatures are predicted to rise to 39ºC or higher for today (Friday), a consequence may well be heavy showers and storms which cannot be ruled out.

UNBEARABLE: Overnight temperatures the highest ever recorded

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CLONING: Police uncover cash point scam

Keep an eye on your pins by Glenn Scott LOCAL POLICE have immobilised a cash point in Torrellano being used to clone the cards of users. The mechanism was discovered and removed after a customer was suspi-

cious of the machine and reported it to bank staff, who in turn alerted the authorities. Police have once again issued a warning to people that use the local ATM machines, particularly in quieter areas and those on open roads where extreme cau-

tion is advised. Always be aware of any suspicious individuals hanging around – come back a little later if you’re not in a hurry to get your cash – and always cover the keyboard from possible prying eyes of those in the queue behind you as you enter your PIN code.

Rocks tragedy

THE LIFELESS body of a man has been found on one of Torrevieja’s beaches. Guardia Civil officers are investigating the death of a man discovered on rocks close to the famous 222 Bar on the Los Locos beach in an area where there are no rescue services. One theory being suggested is the victim may have fallen in to the sea by accident. All the emergency services from SAMU were able to do was to certify the death of the man, believed to be around 50-years-old, who had suffered severe head injuries caused by bashing up against the rocky shoreline. The location of this incident was only a short distance away from where an 11-year-old and a 14-yearold were rescued a fortnight ago.

VICTIM: Body of a 50-year-old found on Los Locos

WEATHER IN BRIEF

FRI Aug 4th

SAT Aug 5th

SUN Aug 6th

MON Aug 7th

TUE Aug 8th

WED Aug 9th

THU Aug 10th

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29º

Partly sunny and very warm

Periods of cloud and sun

Mostly sunny and very warm

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Sunny and very warm

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Sunny and very warm

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Bank worker steals a million

Earth moves again for many RESIDENTS of Lorca were shaken again on Wednesday morning after a minor earthquake registering a magnitude of 2.2 degrees. The tremor, just outside the city that suffered devastation caused by a 5.1 quake in 2011, happened as people made their way to work just after 9am. According to information from the National Geographic Institute, four hours earlier, a 2.1 tremor was felt off the coast of Cabo de Palos close to La Manga.

Attempted murderer arrested FRAUDSTER: Accused woman pictured in Vietnam on luxury holiday Photo credit: Guardia Civil

by Ray Chadwick THE GUARDIA CIVIL has arrested a bank worker after allegedly stealing more than €1m. The woman, aged 51, was detained in Almoradí for committing fraud and forgery to an amount of $1.5m (€1,250,000) over a period of 25 years. The police investigation started after an 80-year-old Russian customer of the bank had suspicions that substantial amounts of money had been stolen from

his account over a period of time, and that everything pointed to one employee. As the investigations continued, the sophistication of the operation came to light. The Russian customer often returned to his own country which coincided with most of the illegal transactions that hadn’t been authorised by him as the bank worker had falsified his signature. Even though his account was reducing little by little over time, he never knew because any statement requested had also

A-7 motorway collision

TWO CARS collided at the Benferri-Orihuela exit of the A-7 motorway, injuring two people. A 62-year-old woman was trapped and a 31-year-old man suffered a fractured knee in the crash which required three fire engines to help at the scene on the Murcia-bound lane. Although trapped in the wreckage of her car for some time, the woman escaped with a few cuts and bruises but was taken to the Vega Baja Hospital in Orihuela with the male victim for further treatment. Both the cause of the crash or road conditions at the time is unknown and are being investigated.

been faked to hide the crimes. Everything came to light in June this year when he asked for a more detailed statement before making a larger withdrawal than normal. It was at this point he noticed he was missing a million and a half US dollars, the currency he held in that account. In the intervening period, the woman enjoyed a life of luxury with a nice house, car and regular foreign trips which she regularly boasted about across social media.

A 25-YEAR-OLD Colombian national has been arrested in Torrevieja at the scene of an attempted murder. Armed Guardia Civil officers arrived following an urgent ‘phone call made by a friend of the victim, a 44-year-old Colombian woman, stating that the attack was taking place. When officers arrived, they could see a young man holding a woman covered in blood in the hallway of the building. The victim had been stabbed and slashed with a katana knife with a 21 inch blade. The woman’s injuries were described as ‘overwhelming’ as she suffered from a badly swollen left cheekbone and penetrating and bleeding wounds to her left arm and right shoulder. She was treated at the scene and then transferred to Torrevieja Hospital. The assailant, despite being covered in blood himself, was uninjured and arrested immediately without showing any resistance. According to reports, the man had been previously arrested in March for another alleged assault on the same woman but the case was dropped as she didn’t want to make any formal accusations against her partner. The investigation into the case continues.

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Heat can drive you to accidents by Ray Chadwick ACCORDING to a recent study, excessive temperatures can lead to car accidents. Prevenis, a company that specialise in analysing the behaviour of drivers, have found that 17 per cent of accidents could be caused when in-car levels of heat reach 30ºC. At that temperature scale, mistakes increase by 20 per cent and reduced reaction times increase by 22 per cent. Medical experts from the respected Quirónsalud Hospitals in both Torrevieja and Valencia have warned about drivers’ abilities being severely affected by the heat. A specialist from the traffic unit who works with the Quirónsalud Valencia, Dr Ignacio

García, said excessive temperature on the body surface is transmitted to an area of the brain that has other functions like controlling moods, sleep modulation and reaction times to certain unexpected circumstances. Dr Alfredo Pérez Cortada, Traffic Unit specialist at Quirónsalud Hospital Torrevieja warned that people should avoid driving at the hottest times of day, and advised it is preferable to drive in the morning or in the late afternoon, but always during daylight. If the temperature inside a vehicle reaches 35-40ºC it can be just as dangerous as having drunk five small beers. Studies have shown that in such heat, drivers miss 15-20 per cent of traffic signs and mistakes behind the wheel increase by 35 per cent.

Toddler saved from drowning YET ANOTHER child has been rescued after almost drowning in a swimming pool. The latest incident happened in a pool in the Avenida del Mar in the Orihuela Costa when a four-year-old boy was taken from the water. According to sources at the Generalitat’s Information and Emergency Coordination Centre (CICU) the child was treated by a medical team at the scene by members of the SAMU emergency ambulance service before being transferred to the Quirónsalud Hospital in Torrevieja.

OVERHEATING: Study shows heat is as dangerous as alcohol Photo credit: Twitter

Surgery waiting times revealed THE latest waiting times for surgery in the Valencian Community have been published for the month on June 2017, with the average time being calculated as 107 days. Some of the times in detail are: Cataracts 84 days, hernias 74, replacement hips

120, replacement knees 137, varicose vein operations 194, bunions 126, general surgery 95, gynaecology 37, ophthalmology 83, traumatology 130, urology 84, cardiac surgery 52, vascular surgery 192, plastic surgery 121, neurosurgery 160 and dermatology 38.

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Dredging time ahead by Ray Chadwick THE SPANISH Ministry for Agriculture, Fishing, Food and the Environment has agreed to spend €347,000 to clean up the Rio Segura in Rojales. In association with the Segura Hydrographic Confederation (CHS), they will be working to remove the build up of sediment caused by the severe storms in December which has restricted the flow of water. It’s estimated that 26,000 cubic hectometres was deposited upstream from under the weir near the Puente Carlos III. Tests on the material have shown that the sediment can be used in the local agriculture industry, so won’t go to waste.

FREE FLOW: Segura gets clean-up investment

In a related story, a further €2,567,988 has been assigned by central government to repair damage to rivers and their infrastructure throughout the Alicante Province. The list of planned works include general cleaning, rebuilding channels, and clearing out the flotsam in and around the Rio Segura. Em-

phasis will be placed at points in the river at Beniel, Orihuela, Formentera, Rojales and Guardamar del Segura. Further upriver in Murcia, similar works will be carried out that will have a positive effect on the future safety of the Vega Baja by limiting the risk of flooding.

Slow down in the city THE CITY of Alicante has introduced a selection of new road signs to enforce speed limits in the centre. One hundred streets now have a maximum speed of 30 kph and this limit will be highlighted by new signs with a bright yellow background and placed in 30 zones this week. The aim is to calm the city-centre traffic by limiting the speed so that pedestrians and cyclists alike can travel more safely. Councillor for Mobility, Fernando Marcos, said that with the new and larger horizontal and vertical signage in the area with the striking yellow colour, there is no reason why they won’t be noticed.

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Extra buses show fare returns

More fakes – more arrests TWO MOROCCANS have been arrested in possession of counterfeit goods. Guardia Civil officers detained the couple during a patrol of the evening street market in Guardamar and found more than 2,000 well-known branded fashion products and accessories. The value of the goods is still being evaluated. One of the two men has also been charged with immigration issues as it’s understood he is living in Spain without any documentation. Both have been in court and released on bail. These latest arrests and seizures come as part of an organised series of inspections carried out by the Guardia Civil both in shops selling clothing and market pitches. SUCCESS: The busy Friday market in Torrevieja Photo credit: SOL Times

by Lynn Whittaker THE ENHANCEMENT of the bus service to the new market in Torrevieja has only cost the council €70. The overall monthly service for the month of May 2017 – when the market opened in its new location – was expected to cost €1,500. The number of people using the service totalled 2,717. The mayor of Torrevieja, José Manuel

Dolón, explained that according to the figures supplied by the company that runs the local transport services, Costa Azul, the cost of the new ‘Line H’ that linked the municipality to the market just about reached €70. The budget for the new service had been set at €300 per bus per market day. However, once the final figures were calculated, the bus company had taken €1,429.30 in fares resulting in a bill for

the council of €70.70. Whilst the mayor described the figures as ‘excellent’, and expressed his delight at the success of the new market site overall, he acknowledged that the figures proved that a high percentage of those that used the bus service to the market didn’t have the free bus pass which residents of Torrevieja can use and what the daily budget was based on.

Cars over seats TORREVIEJA residents have been reported to police for blocking roads with their chairs. This latest incident began when a young driver spotted a rare parking space in the town but the ladies practising what the Spanish call ‘mecedoring’ – there is no equivalent English expression - did not move from the spot despite polite requests. He called the local police who arrived preparing to find a highly charged situation. Despite protestations from the group of women, they reluctantly moved the furniture back on the pavement and allowed the man to park his car who only wanted the space for a short while so he could pick up his wife and young son visiting a nearby swimming pool.

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Peaceful holidays

SUMMER SCHOOL: African children experience Spanish life. Photo credit: Torrevieja Radio

by Steve Collins TWELVE children from the Western Sahara in Africa will be spending the rest of the summer in Torrevieja. In an initiative organised between the Torrevieja Council and a scheme known as Vacaciones en paz (Holidays in peace), a dozen youngsters will get the rare opportunity to get to know and understand somewhere completely different to where they live and to take part in play and ed-

ucational schemes in the summer schools. Another vital part of the scheme will be for them to undergo a series of medical tests and receive any subsequent treatment if needed. The children, accompanied by the Spanish families that are looking after them during their trip, attended a special welcoming reception organised by the council and were presented with a selection of school supplies from the mayor, Jose Manuel Dolon. Carmen Pérez, the president of the

Families of the Saharawi Children Association (FANS) took the opportunity of inviting more people to take part in the scheme which will permit more children to experience the same in the future. Jose Manuel Dolon addressed those present thanking all those Spanish families that had became involved in the project to host children that had been ‘born in the midst of conflict’ and for giving them the chance of these experiences.

Glass recycling encouraged

ECOVIDRIO, the non-profit company that makes the glass recycling bins in Spain have linked up with Guardamar del Segura for a summer campaign. Under the campaign slogan of ‘Toma nota, recicla vidrio’ (Take note, recycle glass), Ecovidrio is hoping to encourage more than 70 hotels, bars and restaurants in the locality and will be provided with 30 glass recycling containers. It’s estimated that the hotel industry generates 50% of glass waste. At the same time, extra recycling points will be added and covered with special logos to bring them to the notice of local people and get them to use the bins. According to the latest data for 2016, Guardamar del Segura recycled a total of 582,410 kilograms of glass, which means that each inhabitant recycles an average of 17kgs. The scheme is also being rolled out across the country to coincide with the increases in tourism to Spain which in itself generates more potential waste of glass as more people use the hotel sector. If the forecasts are met, 36,800 tonnes of glass will be recycled via the 74 participating municipalities which equates to four times the weight of the Eiffel Tower.

CAMPAIGN: 37 tonnes of glass is the target Photo credit: Twitter

Hotels continue to boom

WEALTH: Spanish worth more than last year

A little richer

RECENT figures published by the Bank of Spain covering the first quarter of 2017 show household wealth is on the rise. During the first three months of the year, it increased by 1.74 per cent – by €1.32 trillion - and 8.5 per cent compared to the same point last year. Net personal wealth is measured as the difference between someone’s assets – cash, shares, savings, income and fixtures such as homes, land and vehicles – and liabilities, or debts. By the end of March this year, assets over liabilities showed a positive balance in Spain of €2.111 trillion – 4.8% more than a year previously. The Bank of Spain says the increase in wealth is linked to net acquisition of financial assets to the tune of €39 billion over the first quarter of 2017 and between April and December 2016 inclusive, and these having risen in value by around €58bn, largely due to more extensive buying of share capital.

GUARDAMAR: Tourists flock to the Costa Blanca town

Found safe and well

A LARGE and co-ordinated search for a missing man from Santa Pola has had a happy ending. In one of the biggest operations of its kind seen for some time, a combination of a police helicopter, specialist dog units, local police, Guardia Civil officers, firefighters, civil protection teams and local volunteers joined forces to look for a 71-year-old local man.

ACCORDING to data supplied by the hoteliers in Guardamar, hotel occupation for July was 88 per cent. This figure shows an increase of two percentage points when compared to the same month last year, and shows a steadily increasing number since the year 2008 when the financial crisis took hold. The occupancy for that year was 74 per cent. Hotel owners in the municipality are hoping for similar increases in figures for August and September when they’re released, building on the 93 per cent and 87 per cent for the respective months in 2016. The tourism office for Guardamar has also released the breakdown of people served in their premises for July 2017. Top of the list were people from Madrid (42 per cent) with British tourist a distant second place with 10 per cent.

LIGHTHOUSE: One of the Santa Pola locations searched for missing man Photo credit: Flickr

Eduardo Ortega, who is suffering illhealth and needs regular medication disappeared in Santa Pola, was finally located safe and well on the Playa Lisa area of the town. The delay in finding the man wasn’t helped as he had been allegedly spotted in various parts of the town. One

said they thought they saw him close to the lighthouse; another said they had seen him 15kms away in Guardamar during the afternoon. Locals were at first concerned as to what was taking place, particularly when they saw police with dogs and the accompanying noise of the passing helicopter.

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Crisis time for kittens by Lynn Whittaker LOCAL animal charity, Asociacion Protectora De Animales Horadada (APAH) is at a crisis point after being deluged with abandoned kittens. On a daily basis, litters are being dumped at the cattery, on the doorstep of the charity shop out of hours or even simply being brought into the premises in boxes and left for the volunteers to find. The latest incident was when shopping basket containing five, four-week-old kittens were left terrified, hungry and dehydrated was dumped at the shop. A representative of APAH told the RTN: “Charities like us are being overwhelmed with the numbers. No-one stops to consider the implications, both financial and practical of expecting charities to keep on finding the space and the money to care for litter after litter of kittens. There is never an attempt made to donate money towards the cost of caring for the kittens. The food bill and veterinary care alone is a severe strain on charities who already have a Cattery full of cats to care for. There is not enough money, space or volunteers to deal with the problem, but the kittens just keep on coming.” APAH has no wish to turn kittens away or automatically put them to sleep. Some days, the charity takes in up to 30 or more abandoned kittens and their concern is that they will simply run out of space and money to care for them. “Cat owners themselves are responsible for the level of breeding that goes on. Responsible owners will do the right thing, but unfortunately others do not,” said APAH.

Cruise passengers up by half

CARTAGENA’S popularity as a cruise port continues to grow. During the first six months of the year, it has added 50% more cruise tourists than last year. In fact, the 2016 figure of 64,000 passengers arriving between January and July has increased to 91,000 this season already. The numbers were announced by Antonio Sevilla, the president of the Port Authority of Cartagena. Such is the continued growth of cruise liners using Cartagena as a port that overall numbers are expected to show more than 50,000 extra passengers than originally forecast for 2017 as a whole.

ABANDONED: Five kittens dumped with local charity Photo credit: APAH

Keep ‘em clean ORIHUELA COUNCIL is the latest along the Costa Blanca to take the subject of rubbish and litter more seriously. They have begun a campaign with a strapline of: “Orihuela is part of you, don’t turn your back on it,” hoping to show how the day-to-day habits of the people affect how clean the area is and remains so. Leaflets are being distributed right across the municipality containing information on subjects such as when it’s legal to put rubbish out by the bins and when larger items such as garden cuttings and old furniture can be collected.

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Social security registrations surge by Steve Collins THE AVERAGE number of National Insurance contributors in Spain stood at 18,489,329 in July, the highest figure since December 2008 (18,531,312), after rising by 56,222 in July (up 0.31 percent). This is the 44th straight month with a positive seasonally-adjusted figure (up by 12,283). In year-on year terms, July closed with an average of 644,337 more contributors (up 3.61 per cent), the best figure for a month of July in the last 11 years, and almost 2.4 million (2,338,582) of the jobs shed during the crisis have now been recovered (70 per cent of those jobs lost). Another significant figure is the number of female contributors to the social security system, which, at 8,484,137 workers, is the highest figure on record for women in work for a month of July. If contributor trends are analysed over the year (taking the difference between the number of contributors from July 2017 and those from December last year), it can be seen that the social security system now has 640,274 more con-

Still the holidaymakers come

DURING the first six months of this year, over 36 million holidaymakers travelled to Spain; a rise of one in 10 on the same period in 2016, which in itself was considered a record year for tourism. The survey, undertaken by the National Institute of Statistics (INE), shows tourist numbers were up by 11.6% for the period January to June inclusive compared to the same six months last year, and despite the low exchange rates its the British that continue to be the number one nationality opting for Spain. Of the overall total of 36,366,010 foreign visitors, those from the UK made up 8.6 million, or 23 per cent, having jumped by 9.1% from last year.

Military incursions RECORD NUMBERS: Spain pull further out of employment woes Photo credit: Flickr

tributors, the highest number on record with the exception of the extraordinary year of 2005 (920,033), following the mass regularisation of immigrants. Secretary for the Social Security, Tomás Burgos, said: "July shows strong positive monthly and, above all, annual rates. And we have now exceeded the figure of 18.5 million contributors (in

fact, this was exceeded in the first 10 days of last month)". "Economic growth in Spain continues to strongly translate to a rise in contributor numbers, which is 0.5 points higher than the growth figure. Furthermore, revenue continues to rise significantly higher than the figure for growth in contributor numbers".

SPANISH military aircraft have incurred into foreign airspace. It has been reported that two Spanish F-18 combat planes entered Finland airspace for ‘at least a minute’. The Scandinavian country’s defence ministry spotted the aircraft about 45 minutes west of the capital of Helsinki, close to the south of the Uppiniemi peninsula. The planes are part of the Baltic Air Police mission, which has its base in the Estonian town of Amari, about 40 kilometres from Tallinn, the capital, where Spanish president Mariano Rajoy recently visited the country’s Armed Forces. Kirsti Haimila, a spokeswoman for the Finnish defence ministry told YLE - the national TV station that the incursion was noticed during a random check by the country's air surveillance.

24 feb - 2 march 2017

Waits longer than the flight

Open at last ARRIVALS: Tourists unhappy at the lack of transport links Photo credit: Wikipedia

by Glenn Scott PASSENGERS arriving at a Costa Blanca airport have been queuing for over an hour for a taxi. As the busy tourist season gets into full swing, the lack of transport links at San Javier Airport was exposed with lines of families standing

for long periods waiting for the next stage of their journey. Reports from angry holidaymakers said that taxis were arriving at a rate of only ‘one every ten minutes.’ One user said: “We’re at the beginning of August, the start of the holidays for many, and yet there’s hardly a bus or a taxi in sight. We feel as if we’ve been waiting here

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longer than we were on the ‘plane. This situation should’ve been foreseen.” Another one of those affected, arriving from London, said that the queue for the taxi was growing throughout the evening and lamented that this was a very bad first image of Spain in general and the local region in particular to present to tourists.

AFTER five months of roadworks drivers will be delighted to learn that the south access road to Alicante has fully re-opened. The project has been to complete a cycle lane which goes into operation today (Friday), a consequence of which is a 50kph speed limit along the busy N-332 coastal road that links the Alicante-Elche Airport with the city centre. The project has suffered a delay of two months and as the summer began, the queues lengthened as the works came to an end. The finishing touches – signs, greenery and the painting of the red route – have all been completed, despite a shower of rain when painting began.

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What a Legrand finish Legrand wows the San Javier Jazz Festival Photo credit: Twitter

by Lynn Whittaker THE GREAT composer, Michel Legrand, brought the 20th San Javier Jazz Festival to a close in great style. Winner of three Oscars and the brains behind the soundtracks of more than 200 films, he’s also written songs for the likes Frank Sinatra, Ray Charles, Barbra Streisand and Aretha Franklin to name but a few. Michel Legrand first came to the at-

tention of the world in the latter part of the 1960s and throughout the 1970s and beyond after scoring a few French films during the previous decade teaming up with legendary filmmakers Jean-Luc Godard or Claude Lelouch. It was the golden age in Hollywood and launched a string of successes that included many films that became household names in the process. The Thomas Crown Affair in 1968 led to his first Oscar for the song Windmills

of Your Mind that was followed in 1971 by his second Academy Award for the hauntingly romantic score for Summer of ’42. His third Oscar came for his emotional score to Streisand’s Yentl. At the age of 85, Legrand showed the packed auditorium that he shows no signs of retirement and left his fans wondering if there’s still another film score hidden away under those talented fingers that continue to play his distinctive and immediately recognisable sound.

Inspiring signs at Campoverde church A while ago, Campoverde Church decided that they needed to find new ways to get their message across to the people in Campoverde village. Following discussions with people in the church and in the village they hit on the idea of ‘inspirational messages’ posted on a signpost in the church garden. James McAllister, of Campoverde Church, said, “We trawled our hearts, our minds and the internet and came up with a series of inspirational messages that we thought may touch other peoples’ hearts and minds as they passed our church. We then needed someone really creative and clever to print them out in a way they could be seen”. They approached Barry Glazier from Designaright, and not only did he immediately volunteer his services he did all the work with no charge to the church. They then needed a signpost and James, continuing his services to the church, used his carpentry skills to design and produce the signpost. Last Friday, the first signpost and the first sign went up. Make sure you keep watching as the signs will be replaced every two weeks. For further information about Campoverde Church contact Maggie Dew on 966762264 or 693513678 or e-mail maggieruthdew@hotmail.com.

DONATED: Have you got the message?

Charity gains from swim ONE of the world’s toughest swimming tests has been successfully attempted. Jorge Crivillés, based in Alicante, became the first ever Spaniard to swim the Tsugaru Channel in Japan and in doing so became only the 29th person in history to achieve the feat. He took eight hours, 29 minutes – only four people have swam faster – to cross the 34km stretch of sea non-stop linking Hokkaido with Honshu which is part of the international Seven Oceans challenge. The 46-year-old undertook the swim to raise money for the Spanish Association of Lymphoma, Myeloma and Leukaemia Patients (AEAL) the childhood cancer research fund, La Hucha de Tomás ('Tomás' Piggybank') and the cancer foundation ASISA.

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The way I see it…

Harvey Mann

agreed and as I was formerly trained as a photo journalist, and my Professorship in natural history and sciences, helping to save the mountain gorillas was to me the ultimate challenge. The next thing I had to do was to go off to Rwanda. climb the Virunga mountains and confront the mighty gorillas and the threats enforced on them. After meeting the governments head of national parks, I was taken to meet the then President. He offered me twelve soldiers from his palace guard to escort me into the mountains owing to the unrest along the border between Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo who had been fighting each other for a number of years. I spent the first night at the research centre in the cabin once lived in by Fossey, there were occasional blood spatters on the wall, this was where Fossey had been hacked to death by poachers using machetes. The Virunga rain forest really means what it says on the can, torrential rain hammered down most times, this night it drummed excessively on the corrugated roof keeping me awake most of the night, next morning one of the boys employed at the research centre brought me a bowl of hot water heated over an open fire, breakfast was taken in another hut reserved for dinning. With my escort of soldier’s and a tracker, we made our way up towards where the last group of gorillas were sighted the evening before. The climb was steep and the rain from the night before made the already sodden ground

Titus backed off even further, satisfied that I was not going to do him or his family any harm, as if I could with an animal that size. He opened his mouth, he had large incisor teeth and his head was enormous with a Mohican style crest from the front that ended at the back of his head, eventually eyeing me up and down he turned his back and shambled off on all fours to his family group. I followed and sat at a reasonable distance watching him and his family feed and play with each other. It had been an extraordinary experience to encounter then being able to watch these almost human animals, our cousins socialise and interact with each other, 4 babies rolled on the ground going head over heels, running up to Titus as he dozed, slapping him on the head, then bounding off in case he chased them.

slapping him on the head, “then bounding off in case he chased them

“

by

What is wrong with the people in this world, either they are killing each other or their heritage. I was so saddened to read about the 6-year-old lion Zanda who was shot by a big game hunter in Zimbabwe, after his father 13-year-old Cecil was also killed by a game hunter two years ago. Why I am so livid is because I am a Professor of natural history and wildlife sciences, and travelled the world for 22 years lecturing on the wonderful attributes of all types of wildlife particularly African, and I have worked in Central and East Africa with lions, leopards, cheetahs, elephants and much more. When I talk about heritage, it is the wildlife and the understanding of animals that has been handed down for millions of years through family to family. What people have got to understand is that all animals bleed, feel pain, reproduce and then bring up their off spring, teaching them how to have respect within a family environment. I’ve seen with my own eyes at the famous panda reserve at Ghandzu how the Chinese have introduced IVF to increase the number of pandas from a level where they were on the brink of extinction with great success, and I am pleased to hear that IVF is going to be used on the only two white female rhino still alive in captivity in Britain, using the sperm from the only white male rhino left in Africa. So, I would have hoped that my respect for wildlife during my lectures to thousands of people over the 22 years, would have rubbed off on many. If only the big

That night we spent under canvas knowing that our soldiers would protect us? Hopefully. Then the next day we visited other groups, now using the vocalisation that I had been taught by tracker Vitari making myself smaller than the gorillas to make sure I was not a threat to them, I was able to get very close, on one occasion a baby gorilla Titus reafirming his authority

A huge silverback in Rwanda

game hunters would have been in some of my audiences, I would have throttled them with my bare hands. Now let me take you to another country that at one time had a bad reputation in its behaviour to wildlife, this is Rwanda.

was where Fossey had “this been hacked to death by

One of the Pandas on the Ghandzu reserve

“

poachers using machetes

American Dian Fosse a former child minder travelled to Rwanda after a famous British Professor Louis Leakey had employed her to conduct a census on the number of mountain gorillas still alive and living wild in the Virunga mountains in Rwanda, the numbers she returned were pitifully low, in fact Leakey could not believe the small amount recorded and believed Fosse had failed in her work. Four years after Dian Fosse was murdered on December 26th, 1985, in her cabin at the research centre she called Karisoke that she had established at 10 thousand feet in the saddle of two mountains Karisimbi and Bisoke the chain of mountains that straddle the borders of Rwanda and the Democratic of the Congo, I received a request from Denver, Colorado from the US by the Dian Fossey charity asking if I could help them establish the organisation in Great Britain. At the time of the request I was the Associate Editor of the Mail on Sunday magazine called YOU. I readily

like a quagmire, on one occasion one of my wellingtons got sucked off my foot, sometimes the distance of a thousand feet would take one hour. Finally, we reached about 11 thousand feet and some 300 yards away I could hear grunts and chest thumping sounds, I knew from the sounds we were very close now to my first encounter with the great apes. Suddenly a huge figure of a silverback come crashing through the thick undergrowth, the next second I was pushed to the ground by my tracker, I looked up realising I was in the shadow of a fully grown male silverback that blocked out the light, he poked me with a huge finger to see if I was alive, as my breathing had stopped, next with a balled fist the size of a football he struck me on my back, luckily I was wearing a back pack stuffed with a roll up mattress, all my organs shook inside my body and my brain rattled.

my organs shook “ allinside my body

“

Me with one of my soldier bodyguards on the Virunga mountains in Rwanda

and my brain rattled

Titus was my assailant, he stepped back about a yard, allowing me to rise to my knees. He must have stood at least 6 feet tall and probably weighed at least 50 stone, he grunted several times, his breath was rank, then he put his huge hand on my head as if he was going to crush it, then I made grunting sounds that I had been taught to do by the tracker. He said the grunting at the right level of sound would hopefully appease any angry gorillas.

come bounding up to me and pulled at my camera strap, trying to relieve me of my camera in a playful way. My visits became regular about 4 times a year over the next three years, until the terrible civil war broke out between the Tutsis and the Hutus backed by the Democratic Republic of the Congo and the militia, with almost 1 million people dying in the first 3 months of fighting, the blood lust continued as members of their families were killing each other off, even babies were slaughtered in the streets. The President of Rwanda and all his family were also murdered. So, I suppose this is where I started this report. Humans killing each other and the wildlife that many of us enjoy wiped of the face of the earth, people like the big game hunters and their supporters believe they are dispensable. Over the years the gorilla population has doubled, many because of the success of the charity funding their protection, but the killers of wildlife must be taught a lesson you are not only killing for the sake of it, but it interferes with the animal’s procreation. I have pleaded with the country’s Governments of Kenya, Zimbabwe, Uganda and Tanzania to stop big game hunters operating within in their borders, but back handers by these sordid killers to Government employees continues allowing the killers to have body parts of wildlife as trophies hanging from the walls in their palatial homes.

21

Another fine mess by

Michael Walsh

keyboardcosmetics@ gmail.com

If the world was a bar, America would be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar might be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don’t respect him.

Expressed by an American this view is constantly in my thoughts as I watch our world slide towards all-out war. Ousted from Syria, Iraq and Turkey, humiliated by the Afghanistan debacle, Washington DC neocons seek ever new ways to challenge their Russian and Chinese rivals in trade and natural resources. The U.S cannot win a hot war as the onset of nuclear weaponry ensures there being no victors. However, Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) is the last resort of neocons backed into a corner. Unlike the British Empire which capitulated over several decades the USSR converted itself over months. Destiny is about to put the last nails in the U.S coffin but will the nation dubbed ‘the great Satan’ go without a fight.

There are several ignition switches. The most immediate one is that much provoked North Korea will pre-emptively strike U.S targets. Response would finish Pyongyang but does the U.S win if Seoul, Seattle and Tokyo are reduced to radioactive dust. Furthermore, as China borders Korea would the Chinese accept collateral damage? Another flashpoint is Ukraine which disappeared from media’s radar following America’s successful toppling of the elected Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych in February 2014. The separation of Europe’s largest country from its Russian mentor resulted in civil war and the plunder of Ukraine’s natural and public resources by EU and U.S corporations. Ukraine, once the brains, science and engineering redeemer of the USSR, is now one of the world’s most impoverished countries. Could the U.S installed Kiev junta trigger WWIII? A U.S bill may soon be passed that permits the supply of lethal weapons to Kiev. Ukraine could be Syria Mk. 2 in Europe itself. Another tinderbox is the Baltic States. NATO com-

manders concede that they simply don’t have the military means to defend northern Europe. Why then the arms build-up, the constant provocative ‘exercises’ and endless prodding of the Russian bear. CIA Director Mike Pompeo whined that Russia was constantly looking for ways to ‘stick it to America’. This is a bit rich coming from a country whose 1,050 bases surround Russia, China and Iran? Reality is that Washington and NATO constantly pursue an agenda that has as its aim ‘sticking it to Russia’ and provoking China. Alarmingly, the West is being run like a school playground. It seems we are all on the handcart to hell; a handcart being dragged by a clutch of unelected bullies who in total number wouldn’t fill a single decker bus.

22

Never mind the length, feel the quality 4: I’ll provide generous grants to the over-60s who’d love to live dangerously, but haven’t the cash to pay for things like skydiving, running with bulls in Pamplona, tight-rope walking between tower blocks without a safety net, being shot from cannons, wing-walking on vintage aircraft, wrestling alligators in Florida or swimming in piranha-infested waters. 5. I’ll give a massive grant to support the work of the Society for Rational Old Age Suicide. Oh yes, SOARS really does exist.

by

Barry Duke

Photo Credit: freaking news.com

Recent reports that the retirement age of Brits is to raised once again suggests to me that the cash-strapped, Brexit-bemired British government is secretly hoping that crumblies such as I would just hurry up and snuff it instead of tottering on into extreme old age. But there’s a better solution to the Treasury’s problem, one that will not only produce bucket-loads of dosh to pay the final multi-billion pound Brexit divorce bill but will also finance a worldclass health service. Make me Chancellor of the Exchequer and I’ll immediately begin implementing a five-point plan designed to put the economy back on an even keel – and ensure

that people die happy well before old age puts them back in nappies and renders them completely gaga. 1: I’ll introduce a state subsidised scheme that will compel everyone over the age of 60 to buy a high-powered motorcycle. Anyone riding on an open road at less than 80 mph will face heavy fines. Crash helmets will be outlawed. 2: I’ll provide free tobacco and alcohol to everyone over the age of 65. 3: I’ll decriminalise cannabis use, and encourage everyone over the age of 60 to turn their gardens and allotments over to weed cultivation. Fifty percent of the profit made from dope sales will go to the Treasury.

Taken together, I estimate that that will cut the cost of state pensions and geriatric care by a whopping 80 percent. Of course, the government has only itself to blame for the fact that we are carrying on well beyond our “sell-by” dates. For decades, politicians and other assorted do-gooders have been giving us incessant ear-ache about the dangers of “unhealthy lifestyles”, and millions unthinkingly fell for their sanctimonious blather. Not content with simply bombarding us with propaganda, the UK “health police” gave themselves draconian powers to ban smoking in bars, then extended the ban to vast swathes of the great outdoors. They put gruesome images of diseased lungs and throats on fag packages, and then forced retail outlets to conceal their cigarette stocks behind

shutters. For pity’s sake, there are now even health warnings on booze bottles and beer cans, but curiously, not on cars which belch out terrifying levels of carcinogenic fumes and, in crashes, seriously injure around 27,000 people a year in the UK. Back in 2004, outraged by a report that the then Health Secretary Alan Milburn had urged people to significantly extend their lives by taking 30 minutes of exercise each day, I blasted off a letter to the Brighton Argus, saying that, in common with most politicians, Milburn hadn’t bothered to take a reality check before trumpeting his “get-healthy-livelive- longer” appeal. The reality, then, as it is now, is that Britain is entirely incapable of taking care of its existing elderly population, and the NHS will ultimately collapse under the weight of people who packed in the fags and the booze and are now desperately regretting having deprived themselves of pleasures that an assortment of pious prodnoses deemed “life threatening”. What’s important about life is its quality, not its length. The horrors that accrue from living with debilitating age-related conditions are well known, and I, for one, would far rather drop dead outside a bar sucking on an ecigarette and necking Famous Grouse than faffing around waiting for the arrival of a scythe-bearing hoodie.

Do you look like Donald Trump? Bosses of a corporate hospitality company in England say they are struggling to recruit a Donald Trump lookalike to get involved in their ‘Apprentice’-themed team-building events. London-based Team Tactics is willing to pay the right candidate - who will have to undergo weekly spray tans and daily hair appointments and agree to remain ‘in character’ throughout eight-hour training sessions - a pro rata salary of £50,000 (€56,000). ‘Finding someone suitable’ is ‘proving more difficult’ than first anticipated, according to the company’s press release. It cites Trump’s current unpopularity in the United Kingdom and the rigorous demands of the job

as being possible contributing factors. The company shared the advertisement for the job to its website on Monday. Tina Benson, managing director at Team Tactics, said: ‘The Apprentice treasure hunt has been very popular since its launch, but now we want to give visitors an even more immersive experience.’ ‘Donald Trump was an iconic part of the Apprentice in America and we’re sure his character will be an excellent addition to the event.’ ‘Whether it’s a lack of people willing to work as a lookalike or that there are a lack of people that do indeed look like him, we don’t know, but we’re willing to pay a great rate to finally be able to tell a lookalike 'you're hired'.’

YOU’RE HIRED: The right candidate will have to undergo weekly spray tans and daily hair appointments Photo credit: Wikimedia

One for the road by

Colin Bird

‘Work is the curse of the drinking classes’, at least according to Oscar Wilde. Alcohol is one of those things that used sensibly can enhance a conversation, inspire great deeds, and even have medicinal benefits. Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But of course, in the wrong hands it can cause extreme unpleasantness. There is a fine line between being hilariously tipsy, and embarrassingly plastered. We laugh along with the giggler trying to carefully enunciate each word, but rightfully shy away from the aggressive loud-mouth drunk throwing up outside Mercadona. But it’s a fact that numerous amusing stories and fond memories are unashamedly based on silliness brought about with the aid of a sherbet or three. Many years ago, four of us were

in our regular harbour-side watering hole, aptly named The Rum Runners, when two young Royal Navy ratings staggered in. They were no more than lads and had obviously been painting the town red in the time honoured way. We were ordering drinks and they overheard us ask for four specials. “Wos that then?” one of them asked, as he saw the bartender extract a bottle from beneath the bar. “Black Seal rum”. “Wos speshul ‘bout that?” he demanded. “It’s 151 proof”. “We’ll have two large ones”, the bar tender was informed as he finished topping up our own glasses with ginger ale. “Straight” the matelot added. We looked at each other before gently explaining to young Hornblower that it would be advisable to dilute the rum with something, even water. But they were having none of it and raised their glasses for a toast. “The Queen!” they bawled and downed the drinks in one. There was a pause. We knew something was about to happen because vocal sailor number one, tried to focus on sailor number

two, mouthed something inaudible and began to keel over backwards in slow motion. Stiff as a tailor’s collar, he hit the floor, bounced a couple of times and lay there inspecting the ceiling with a puzzled half smile on his boyish face. His friend fell into a chair, then slid like melting snow onto the floor muttering, “The Queen, the Queen”. Luckily their ship was moored opposite and between us we managed to haul them across the street into the waiting arms of their colleagues on evening watch. Forty years ago now, but a story always recounted when we get together.

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SCOTMOVE of FRASERBURGH

Scotland - England - Spain Telephone SPAIN Dave 603 231 693 UK OFFICE +44 (0) 1346 582204 www.spain2scotland.co.uk info@pfrs.co.uk

Emergency numbers Emergencies

utilities

(Fire, Police, Ambulance or Civil Protection) Multilingual 112 Ambulance 061 Crime report 902 102 112 Guardia Civil 062 Local Police 092 National Police 060/091 Fire 080 Coastguard 900 202 202

ELECTRICITY Iberdrola 24 hrs in English 900 322 044

guardia civil • 062 Torrevieja Orihuela Pilar de la Horadada

965 710 113 965 300 013 966 769 143

local police • 092 Playa Flamenca Orihuela Torrevieja La Marina Pilar de la Horadada San Miguel de Salinas

901 121 212 901 100 100 902 100 224 902 416 416

WATER Hidraqua or

900 101 270 902 250 270

uk passport Emergency UK passports www.gov.uk/emergency-travel-document UK passport information www.gov.uk/browse/abroad/passports

649 900 304 965 300 204 965 705 326 966 794 453 965 352 334 965 720 787

credit card emergencies

965 933 000 966 679 000 965 721 200

fire brigade

966 921 313 968 360 900

Torrevieja Orihuela

hospitals General Universitario de Alicante Elche Torrevieja Hospital Quiron (Torrevieja Private hospital) JM Morales Meseguer – Murcia

GAS Repsol (Red Bottles) or Cespa (Silver Bottles) Leaks Cespa Information

4B (Visa / Mastercard) American Express Diners Club Red 6000 Servired (Visa / Mastercard) Visa

902 114 400 900 814 500 900 801 331 915 965 335 902 192 100 900 991 124

966 704 433 965 303 241

25

I can smell gas...

I have lost my passport...

My car has been stolen...

british embassy Madrid

917 146 300

BRITISH CONSULATE British Consulate Enquiries, All Areas, 24 hs

902 109 356 965 216 022

town halls Orihuela Costa (Playa Flamenca) 966 760 000 Torrevieja 965 710 250 San Pedro Del Pinatar 968 180 600 San Javier 968 573 700 Rojales 966 715 001 San Fulgencio 966 794 201 Quesada 965 725 722

tourist offices La Marina 965 501 314 Torrevieja 965 703 433 Orihuela (Playa Flamenca) 966 761 250 ext 31 and 32

airport Alicante 966 919 000 966 919 400 Murcia, San Javier 968 172 000 968 570 070

support groups Costa Blanca Samaritans Drug helpline Domestic Violence Helpline for the Elderly

new iptv BOX

SATELLITE SERVICES 698 291 753

Minimum 3mb internet speed required

900 525 100 900 161 515 900 100 009 900 222 223

I need to cancel my credit card...

26

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legal

27

How to complain in Spain by

IGNACIO PELLICER MOLLÁ & PEDRO HEREDIA ORTIZ

LAWYERS

Q A

If I want to complain in Spain, what do I have to do? Ask for a ‘hoja de reclamación’? The hojas de reclamaciones are issued by the local authority and filling one of these out is the first step in the official Spanish complaints procedure. Each form consists of three parts: a top (white) original copy, a middle (green) copy for the customer, and a bottom (pink) copy which remains in the book. The form should be completed, signed and dated on the premises of the business where the complaint is being made. Spanish is prefered, however you can also fill it out in English. Try to keep it simple. Write what the comlaint is and what solution you would like, eg a refund, exchange of goods, etc. Then take the WHITE original, plus photocopies of any receipts,

guarantees, any other documents you believe relevant, to the ‘Oficinas Municipales de Información al Consumidor’ or the Town Hall. If you require help with a complaint or wish to take things further through civil courts, contact us today on 965 480 737 or info@pellicerheredia.com.

If you have any further questions about this or any other legal matter, please do not hesitate to contact us; we have a team of experts standing by to assist you in any way we can. Call 965 480 737 or email info@pellicerheredia.com Videos at www.pellicerheredia.com

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television

4th-10th August

friday 4th August

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

CHANNEL 4

CHANNEL 5

E4

Sky1

7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Animal Park Summer Special 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Going Back Giving Back 12:45pm Rip Off Britain 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm BBC London News 2:45pm Red Rock 3:30pm The Code 4:15pm Escape to the Country 5:15pm Flog It! 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:00pm BBC News 11:25pm BBC London News 11:35pm Not Going Out 12:05am Old School with the Hairy Bikers

7:00am The TV That Made Me 7:30am Animal Park Summer Special 8:15am Bargain Hunt 9:00am Gardeners’ World 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 1:00pm Britain’s Great War 2:00pm Two Tribes 2:30pm A Taste of Britain 3:15pm The Best Dishes Ever 3:45pm Natural World 4:30pm This Wild Life 5:00pm The Life of Mammals 6:00pm Golf 7:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 8:00pm Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 9:00pm Mastermind 9:30pm Only Connect 10:00pm Gardeners’ World 11:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:30pm Newsnight 12:05am The Help

7:00am Good Morning Britain 9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:00pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:20pm ITV News London 2:30pm ITV Racing Live 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm Cash Trapped 7:00pm ITV News London 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm The Secret World of Posh Pets 9:30pm Coronation Street 10:00pm Benidorm 11:00pm ITV News and Weather 11:30pm ITV News London 11:40pm Inside London Fire Brigade 12:40am Tipping Point

7:00am Countdown 7:45am Will and Grace 8:10am Will and Grace 8:35am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:30am Frasier 10:00am Frasier 10:35am Frasier 11:05am Undercover Boss USA 12:00pm The Simpsons 12:30pm The Simpsons 1:00pm Channel 4 News 1:05pm Couples Come Dine with Me 2:05pm Posh Pawn 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm The Question Jury 5:00pm A Place in the Sun 6:00pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 9:00pm The Secret Life of the Holiday Resort 10:00pm The Last Leg 11:00pm Naked Attraction 12:05am Rude Tube 1:05am The Cold Light of Day

7:00am Childrens TV

7:00am Hollyoaks 7:30am Coach Trip 8:00am Made in Chelsea 9:00am Melissa and Joey 9:30am Melissa and Joey 10:00am Black-Ish 10:30am Black-Ish 11:00am Baby Daddy 11:30am Baby Daddy 12:00pm How I Met Your Mother 12:30pm How I Met Your Mother 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 3:30pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy 4:30pm Baby Daddy 5:00pm Black-Ish 5:30pm Black-Ish 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Coach Trip 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory 9:30pm The Big Bang Theory 10:00pm This is 40 12:40am The Big Bang Theory

7:00am The Flash 8:00am The Flash 9:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00am Hawaii Five-0 12:00pm MacGyver 1:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 2:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 3:00pm Hawaii Five-0 4:00pm MacGyver 5:00pm The Flash 6:00pm The Flash 7:00pm Futurama 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm The Simpsons 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Modern Family 9:30pm Modern Family 10:00pm Zoo 11:00pm The Force: North East 12:00am Modern Family 12:30am Modern Family 1:00am A League of Their Own

10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm The Yorkshire Vet 1:10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1:15pm Celebrity Big Brother 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS 4:15pm Jesse Stone: Stone Cold 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News Tonight 8:00pm Cricket on 5 9:00pm Funniest Ever Puppy Party 10:00pm Celebrity Big Brother 11:05pm Autopsy: Kurt Cobain 12:05am Celebrity Big Brother’s

Bit on the Side

SATURDAY 5th August CHANNEL 5

E4

Sky1

7:00am Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids 7:10am Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids 7:20am Sooty 7:30am Share a Story 7:35am Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 7:45am Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 8:00am The Oddbods Show 8:05am The Oddbods Show 8:15am Super 4 8:25am Mr. Bean 8:40am Mr. Bean 9:00am Thunderbirds are Go 9:25am ITV News 9:30am Weekend 10:25am ITV Racing Live 11:20am Gok’s Lunchbox 12:15pm 1000 Heartbeats 1:15pm ITV News 1:25pm Tipping Point 2:30pm ITV Racing Live 5:00pm The Chase 6:00pm Little Big Shots USA 7:00pm ITV News London 7:05pm ITV News 7:15pm You’ve Been Framed! 8:15pm Catchphrase 9:00pm The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies 11:35pm ITV News 11:50pm GoldenEye

7:10am Tenerife Blue Trail 7:40am Motorsport 8:35am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:30am Frasier 10:00am Frasier 10:30am Frasier 11:00am The Big Bang Theory 11:25am The Big Bang Theory 11:55am The Simpsons 12:25pm The Simpsons 12:55pm Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1:50pm Four in a Bed 2:20pm Four in a Bed 2:55pm Four in a Bed 3:25pm Four in a Bed 4:00pm Four in a Bed 4:30pm A Place in the Sun 5:35pm Big House, Little House 6:35pm Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it 7:30pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm Britain at Low Tide 9:00pm Paul O’grady’s Hollywood 10:00pm Red 12:10am American Pie: Reunion

7:00am Childrens TV 11:40am Chinese Food in Minutes 11:55am Dogs Make You Laugh Out Loud 12:20pm Police Interceptors 1:15pm Police Interceptors 2:15pm Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun 3:10pm Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun 4:10pm The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 5:05pm The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 6:00pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 7:00pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 8:00pm Cricket on 5 9:00pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 10:00pm Football on Five 10:50pm Football on 5 11:20pm Celebrity Big Brother 12:20am Queens of Pop

7:00am The Goldbergs 7:30am The Goldbergs 7:55am The Goldbergs 8:25am The Goldbergs 8:55am The Goldbergs 9:30am Made in Chelsea 10:30am Binky and Jp’s Baby: Born in Chelsea 11:30am Coach Trip 12:00pm Coach Trip 12:35pm Coach Trip 1:05pm Coach Trip 1:35pm Coach Trip 2:05pm The Goldbergs 2:35pm The Goldbergs 3:05pm The Goldbergs 3:35pm The Goldbergs 4:00pm The Goldbergs 4:35pm The Big Bang Theory 5:00pm The Big Bang Theory 5:35pm The Big Bang Theory 6:00pm The Big Bang Theory 6:30pm The Big Bang Theory 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm The Big Bang Theory 8:30pm The Big Bang Theory 9:00pm Don’t Tell the Bride 10:00pm Bridesmaids 12:30am Gogglebox

7:00am Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 8:00am Road Wars 9:00am Attenborough 10:00am Hawaii Five-0 11:00am Hawaii Five-0 12:00pm Hawaii Five-0 1:00pm Hawaii Five-0 2:00pm The Dog Whisperer 3:00pm The Dog Whisperer 4:00pm It’s Me or the Dog 4:30pm It’s Me or the Dog 5:00pm Modern Family 5:30pm Modern Family 6:00pm Modern Family 6:30pm Modern Family 7:00pm Modern Family 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm The Simpsons 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 10:00pm Crocodile Dundee II 12:00am James Corden’s Late Late Show UK

BBC2

ITV1

CHANNEL 4

CHANNEL 5

E4

Sky1

7:20am The Instant Gardener

7:00am Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids 7:10am Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids 7:20am Sooty 7:30am Share a Story 7:35am Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 8:00am Oddbods 8:05am The Oddbods Show 8:15am Super 4 8:30am Ninjago 9:00am Thunderbirds are Go 9:25am ITV News 9:30am Weekend 10:25am Judge Rinder 11:20am Long Lost Family 12:20pm Love Your Garden 1:25pm James Martin’s French Adventure 1:55pm Rebound 2:55pm Tipping Point 3:55pm Bear Grylls Survival School 4:25pm The Living Daylights 7:00pm ITV News London 7:15pm ITV News 7:30pm The Chase Celebrity Special 8:30pm Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 11:25pm ITV News 11:40pm Judge Rinder’s Crime Stories 12:40am Take Me Out

7:00am Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 7:10am Last Man Standing 7:35am Cycling 8:00am Motorsport 8:30am Motorsport 9:30am Frasier 10:00am Frasier 10:30am Sunday Brunch 1:30pm George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 2:30pm The Simpsons 3:00pm The Simpsons 3:30pm The Simpsons 4:00pm UEFA Women’s Euro 2017 7:30pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm The Mystery of the Crossrail Skulls 9:00pm Diana 10:50pm The King’s Speech 1:00am The Anomaly

7:00am Childrens TV

7:00am Rude(Ish) Tube 7:25am Couples Come Dine with Me 8:20am Couples Come Dine with Me 9:30am Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:00pm Made in Chelsea 1:05pm Binky and Jp’s Baby: Born in Chelsea 2:05pm Kevin Can Wait 2:35pm New Girl 3:05pm New Girl 3:35pm The Goldbergs 4:00pm The Goldbergs 4:35pm The Goldbergs 5:00pm The Big Bang Theory 5:30pm The Big Bang Theory 6:00pm The Big Bang Theory 6:30pm The Big Bang Theor 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm The Big Bang Theory 8:30pm The Big Bang Theory 9:00pm Night at the Museum 11:10pm Don’t Tell the Bride 12:15am Tattoo Fixers on Holiday

7:00am The Hour of Power 8:00am Futurama 8:30am Futurama 9:00am Futurama 9:30am Futurama 10:00am Futurama 10:30am Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 11:00am WWE Raw 12:00pm MacGyver 1:00pm MacGyver 2:00pm MacGyver 3:00pm MacGyver 4:00pm MacGyver 5:00pm Modern Family 5:30pm Modern Family 6:00pm Modern Family 6:30pm Modern Family 7:00pm Modern Family 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm The Simpsons 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm David Attenborough’s Natural History History Museum Alive 10:00pm Ross Kemp: Extreme World 11:00pm The Force: North East 12:00am James Corden’s Late Late Show UK

BBC1

BBC2

7:00am Breakfast

7:10am The Spanish Main 8:45am The Magic Box 10:30am World Athletics Championships 2017 3:00pm Food and Drink 3:30pm Flog It! 4:20pm Mastermind 4:50pm University Challenge 5:20pm Only Connect 5:50pm Gardeners’ World 6:50pm The Sweet Makers: A Victorian Treat 7:50pm Proms Extra 2017 8:30pm Royal Cousins at War 9:30pm Dad’s Army 10:00pm Billy Connolly: Portrait of a Lifetime 11:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:30pm What We Did on Our Holiday 12:55am Golf

11:00am Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30pm Nadiya’s British

Food Adventure

1:00pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:15pm Homes Under the Hammer 3:00pm I Am Bolt 4:30pm The Heroes of Super

Saturday: Jess, Mo and Greg

5:25pm Escape to the Continent 6:25pm Pointless 7:10pm BBC News 7:20pm BBC London News 7:30pm World Athletics

Championships 2017

11:00pm BBC News 11:20pm Mrs. Brown’s Boys D’Movie

ITV1

CHANNEL 4

SUNDAY 6th August BBC1 7:00am Breakfast 10:00am BBC News 11:00am Sunday Morning Live 12:00pm Homes Under the Hammer 1:00pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:15pm Wallace and Gromit: A Grand Day Out 2:40pm Frozen 4:10pm Escape to the Country 4:40pm Songs of Praise 5:15pm Pointless 6:00pm BBC News. 6:20pm BBC London News 6:30pm Countryfile 7:30pm World Athletics Championships 2017 10:00pm Poldark 11:00pm BBC News 11:20pm BBC London News 11:30pm Match of the Day 12:15am The Recruit

8:05am Gardeners’ World 9:05am The Beechgrove Garden 9:35am Countryfile 10:30am World Athletics

Championships 2017

6:00pm Britain’s Ancient Capital:

Secrets of Orkney

7:00pm Steve Backshall’s Extreme

Mountain Challenge

8:00pm Inside the Factory 9:00pm Secrets of Silicon Valley 10:00pm World Athletics

Championships 2017

11:30pm Gareth Thomas:

Hate in the Beautiful Game

12:30am Golf

11:20am Football on Five 12:05pm Football on 5 12:30pm Cheaper by the Dozen 2 2:20pm The Royals 3:15pm Inside Buckingham Palace 4:15pm Inside Buckingham Palace 5:15pm Inside Buckingham Palace 6:10pm Dirty Dancing 8:00pm Cricket on 5 8:55pm 5 News Weekend 9:00pm Dads Make You

Laugh Out Loud

10:00pm Celebrity Big Brother 11:00pm The Last Days

of Patrick Swayze

12:05am Point Break

31

television

4th-10th August

MONDAY 7th August BBC1

7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Animal Park Summer Special 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Medicine and Me: 70 Years of the NHS 12:45pm Rip Off Britain 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm BBC London News 2:45pm Red Rock 3:30pm The Code 4:15pm Escape to the Country 5:15pm Flog It! 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm The Bug Grub Couple 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:00pm BBC News 11:30pm BBC London News 11:45pm Have I Got Old News for You 12:15am Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You

BBC2

ITV1

CHANNEL 4

CHANNEL 5

E4

Sky1

7:00am The TV That Made Me 7:30am Animal Park Summer Special 8:15am Bargain Hunt 9:00am The Sheriffs are Coming 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 1:00pm Golf 2:00pm Triathlon World Series: Montreal Highlights 3:30pm A Taste of Britain 4:15pm Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise 5:15pm The Life of Mammals 6:15pm Antiques Road Trip 7:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 9:30pm Nadiya’s British Food Adventure 10:00pm Man in an Orange Shirt 11:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:30pm Newsnight 12:15am Is it Safe to be Gay in the UK?

7:00am Good Morning Britain 9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:55pm ITV News London 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Tenable 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm Cash Trapped 7:00pm ITV News London 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Countrywise 9:30pm Coronation Street 10:00pm Car Crash Britain Caught on Camera 11:00pm ITV News and Weather 11:30pm ITV News London 11:40pm Britain’s Busiest Motorway 12:10am Sugar Free Farm

7:00am Countdown 7:45am Will and Grace 8:10am Will and Grace 8:35am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:30am Frasier 10:00am Frasier 10:35am Frasier 11:00am The Big Bang Theory 11:30am The Big Bang Theory 12:00pm The Simpsons 12:30pm The Simpsons 1:00pm Channel 4 News 1:05pm Couples Come Dine with Me 2:05pm Posh Pawn 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm The Question Jury 5:00pm A Place in the Sun 6:00pm Four in a Bed 6:30pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 9:00pm Animal Rescue Live: Supervet Special 10:00pm 999: What’s Your Emergency? 11:00pm Eden 12:05am 60 Days in Jail

7:00am Childrens TV 10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm The Yorkshire Vet 1:10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1:15pm Celebrity Big Brother 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS 4:15pm The Gourmet Detective: A Healthy Place to Die 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News Tonight 8:00pm Cricket on 5 9:00pm All New Traffic Cops 10:00pm Celebrity Big Brother 11:00pm Make or Break 12:05am Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

7:00am Hollyoaks 7:30am Coach Trip 8:00am Made in Chelsea 9:00am Melissa and Joey 9:30am Melissa and Joey 10:00am Black-Ish 10:30am Black-Ish 11:00am Baby Daddy 11:30am Baby Daddy 12:00pm How I Met Your Mother 12:30pm How I Met Your Mother 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 3:30pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy 4:30pm Baby Daddy 5:00pm Black-Ish 5:30pm Black-Ish 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Coach Trip 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory 9:30pm The Big Bang Theory 10:00pm Made in Chelsea 11:00pm How’d You Get So Rich? 11:55pm The Big Bang Theory

7:00am The Flash 8:00am The Flash 9:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 12:00pm MacGyver 1:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 2:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 3:00pm Hawaii Five-0 4:00pm MacGyver 5:00pm The Flash 6:00pm The Flash 7:00pm Futurama 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm The Simpsons 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm The Simpsons 9:30pm The Simpsons 10:00pm A League of Their Own 11:00pm Micky Flanagan Thinking Aloud 1:00am A League of Their Own

Pick of the Week The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.25am ITV1 TUESDAY 8th August BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

CHANNEL 4

CHANNEL 5

E4

Sky1

7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Animal Park Summer Special 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Matron, Medicine and Me: 70 Years of the NHS 12:45pm Rip Off Britain 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm BBC London News 2:45pm Red Rock 3:30pm The Code 4:15pm Escape to the Country 5:15pm Flog It! 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm EastEnders 9:00pm Holby City 10:00pm Trust Me 11:00pm BBC News 11:30pm BBC London News 11:45pm New Tricks 12:45am The Bug Grub Couple

7:00am The TV That Made Me 7:30am Animal Park Summer Special 8:15am Bargain Hunt 9:00am The Farmers’ Country Showdown 9:30am Great British Menu 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 2:00pm Coast 2:15pm Two Tribes 2:45pm The Super League Show 3:30pm A Taste of Britain 4:15pm Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise 5:15pm The Life of Mammals 6:15pm Antiques Road Trip 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:30pm Newsnight 12:15am The Mash Report

7:00am Good Morning Britain 9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:55pm ITV News London 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Tenable 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm Cash Trapped 7:00pm ITV News London 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 9:00pm Midsomer Murders 11:00pm ITV News and Weather 11:30pm ITV News London 11:40pm UEFA Super Cup Highlights 12:40am Play to the Whistle

7:00am Countdown 7:45am Will and Grace 8:10am Will and Grace 8:35am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:30am Frasier 10:00am Frasier 10:35am Frasier 11:00am The Big Bang Theory 11:30am The Big Bang Theory 12:00pm The Simpsons 12:30pm The Simpsons 1:00pm Channel 4 News 1:05pm Couples Come Dine with Me 2:05pm Posh Pawn 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm The Question Jury 5:00pm A Place in the Sun 6:00pm Four in a Bed 6:30pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 9:00pm Animal Rescue Live: Supervet Special 10:00pm Get a House for Free 11:00pm Eden 12:05am Naked Attraction

7:00am Childrens TV 10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm The Yorkshire Vet 1:10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1:15pm Celebrity Big Brother 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS 4:15pm Spirit Riders 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News Tonight 8:00pm Cricket on 5 9:00pm The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 10:00pm Celebrity Big Brother 11:00pm Make or Break 12:05am Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 1:05am Celebrity Big Brother: Live From the House

7:00am Hollyoaks 7:30am Coach Trip 8:00am Made in Chelsea 9:00am Melissa and Joey 10:00am Black-Ish 11:00am Baby Daddy 12:00pm How I Met Your Mother 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 3:30pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy 4:30pm Baby Daddy 5:00pm Black-Ish 5:30pm Black-Ish 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Coach Trip 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory 9:30pm The Big Bang Theory 10:00pm Tattoo Fixers on Holiday 11:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:50pm The Big Bang Theory 12:20am The Big Bang Theory 12:50am Gogglebox

7:00am The Flash 8:00am The Flash 9:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00am Hawaii Five-0 12:00pm MacGyver 1:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 2:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 3:00pm Hawaii Five-0 4:00pm MacGyver 5:00pm The Flash 6:00pm The Flash 7:00pm Futurama 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm The Simpsons 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm A League of Their Own 10:00pm Groundhog Day 12:00am Modern Family 12:30am Modern Family

32

24 feb - 2 march 2017

television

4th-10th August

wednesday 9th August BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Animal Park Summer Special 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Matron, Medicine and Me: 70 Years of the NHS 12:45pm Rip Off Britain 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm BBC London News 2:45pm Red Rock 3:30pm The Code 4:15pm Escape to the Country 5:15pm Flog It! 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm Fake Britain 9:00pm Super Small Animals 10:00pm My Family, Partition and Me: India 1947 11:00pm BBC News 11:30pm BBC London News 11:45pm My Big Gay Jewish Conversion 12:35am I’m Coming Out

7:00am The TV That Made Me 7:30am Animal Park Summer Special 8:15am Bargain Hunt 9:00am My Friend Jane 9:30am Great British Menu 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 2:00pm Two Tribes 2:30pm A Taste of Britain 3:15pm Natural World 4:15pm Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise 5:15pm The Life of Mammals 6:15pm Antiques Road Trip 7:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:30pm Newsnight 12:15am Secrets of Silicon Valley

7:00am Good Morning Britain 9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:55pm ITV News London 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Tenable 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm Cash Trapped 7:00pm ITV News London 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Love Your Garden 10:00pm Long Lost Family 11:00pm ITV News and Weather 11:30pm ITV News London 11:40pm Car Crash Britain Caught on Camera 12:40am British Touring Car Championship Highlights

CHANNEL 5

E4

Sky1

7:45am Will and Grace 8:10am Will and Grace 8:35am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond. 9:30am Frasier 10:00am Frasier 10:35am Frasier 11:00am The Big Bang Theory 11:30am The Big Bang Theory 12:00pm The Simpsons 12:30pm The Simpsons 1:00pm Channel 4 News 1:05pm Couples Come Dine with Me 2:05pm Posh Pawn 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm The Question Jury 5:00pm A Place in the Sun 6:00pm Four in a Bed 6:30pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 9:00pm Animal Rescue Live: Supervet Special 10:00pm 24 Hours in A and E 11:00pm Eden 12:05am 999: What’s Your Emergency?

7:00am Childrens TV 10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm The Yorkshire Vet 1:10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1:15pm Celebrity Big Brother 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS 4:15pm Broken Trust 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News Tonight 8:00pm MotoGP 9:00pm GPs: Behind Closed Doors 10:00pm Celebrity Big Brother 11:00pm Make or Break 12:05am Football on Five

7:00am Hollyoaks 7:30am Coach Trip 8:00am Made in Chelsea 9:00am Melissa and Joey 10:00am Black-Ish 11:00am Baby Daddy 12:00pm How I Met Your Mother 1:00pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 3:30pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy 4:30pm Baby Daddy 5:00pm Black-Ish 5:30pm Black-Ish 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Coach Trip 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory 9:30pm The Big Bang Theory 10:00pm Don’t Tell the Bride 11:00pm First Dates USA 12:00am The Big Bang Theory 12:30am The Big Bang Theory

7:00am The Flash 8:00am The Flash 9:00am Road Wars 10:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00am Hawaii Five-0 12:00pm MacGyver 1:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 2:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 3:00pm Hawaii Five-0 4:00pm MacGyver 5:00pm The Flash 6:00pm The Flash 7:00pm Futurama 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm The Simpsons 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Freddie Fries Again 10:00pm Colony 11:00pm Ross Kemp: Extreme World 12:00am Modern Family 12:30am Modern Family

CHANNEL 4

thursday 10th August BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

CHANNEL 4

CHANNEL 5

E4

7:00am Breakfast 10:15am Animal Park Summer Special 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Matron, Medicine and Me: 70 Years of the NHS 12:45pm Rip Off Britain 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm BBC London News 2:45pm Red Rock 3:30pm The Code 4:15pm Escape to the Country 5:15pm Flog It! 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm EastEnders 9:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:00pm BBC News 11:30pm BBC London News 11:45pm Stacey Dooley Investigates 12:15am Queer Britain

7:00am The TV That Made Me 7:30am Animal Park Summer Special 8:15am Bargain Hunt 9:00am Nadiya’s British Food Adventure 9:30am Great British Menu 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 2:00pm Two Tribes 2:30pm A Taste of Britain 3:15pm Coast 3:55pm Viva Las Vegas 5:15pm The Life of Mammals 6:15pm Antiques Road Trip 7:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 9:00pm 10 Puppies and Us 10:00pm Top of the Lake 11:00pm World Athletics Championships 2017 11:30pm Newsnight 12:15am Golf

7:00am Good Morning Britain 9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:55pm ITV News London 3:00pm Judge Rinder 4:00pm Tenable 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm Cash Trapped 7:00pm ITV News London 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm The True Cost of Parking 9:00pm Emmerdale 9:30pm James Martin’s French Adventure 10:00pm Inside London Fire Brigade 11:00pm ITV News and Weather 11:30pm ITV News London 11:40pm Schofield’s South African Adventure 12:10am Lion Country: Night and Day

7:00am Countdown 7:45am Will and Grace 8:35am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:30am Frasier 10:00am Frasier 10:30am Frasier 11:00am The Big Bang Theory 11:30am The Big Bang Theory 12:00pm The Simpsons 12:30pm The Simpsons 1:00pm Channel 4 News 1:05pm Couples Come Dine with Me 2:05pm Posh Pawn 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm The Question Jury 5:00pm A Place in the Sun 6:00pm Four in a Bed 6:30pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 9:00pm Animal Rescue Live: Supervet Special 10:00pm Princess Diana’s ‘Wicked’ Stepmother 11:00pm Eden 12:05am 24 Hours in A and E

7:00am Childrens TV 10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm The Yorkshire Vet 1:10pm 5 News Lunchtime 1:15pm Celebrity Big Brother 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS 4:15pm Willed to Kill 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News Tonight 8:00pm All New Traffic Cops 9:00pm Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 10:00pm Celebrity Big Brother 11:00pm Make or Break 12:05am Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

7:00am Hollyoaks 7:30am Coach Trip 8:00am Made in Chelsea 9:00am Melissa and Joey 10:00am Black-Ish 11:00am Baby Daddy 12:00pm How I Met Your Mother 1:00pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy 4:30pm Baby Daddy 5:00pm Black-Ish 5:30pm Black-Ish 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm Coach Trip 9:00pm The Big Bang Theory 9:30pm Kevin Can Wait 10:00pm Body Fixers 11:00pm The Inbetweeners 11:35pm The Inbetweeners 12:10am The Big Bang Theory 12:40am The Big Bang Theory

Sky1 7:00am The Flash 8:00am The Flash 9:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00am NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00am Hawaii Five-0 12:00pm MacGyver 1:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 2:00pm NCIS: Los Angeles 3:00pm Hawaii Five-0 4:00pm MacGyver 5:00pm The Flash 6:00pm The Flash 7:00pm Futurama 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm The Simpsons 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 10:00pm A Premier League of Their Own 11:00pm Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life 12:00am Modern Family 12:30am Modern Family 1:00am A League of Their Own

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33

Life

Footwork Summer Dance raises the roof

STUNNING: Another year of dance comes to an end

ALL TOGETHER A group shot of the Footwork Family

A VERY successful school year for the Footwork Dance was brought to an end with their latest production, Summer Dance. In front of a packed audience at the Culture and Music Theatre in Los Montesinos which was hot on the heels from their brilliant performance during Cultural week, the students once again excelled themselves with a varied programme of dance with something for all tastes and expertly put together by

Principal Erica Dorrill and her team. The display from all the cast – from the two-year-old to 75-years young – needs special praise and credit for doing so on such a warm evening and showed their dedication and skill and love for dance. The varied programme that included ballet, tap, modern, jazz, lyrical, acrobatic and aerobic dance featured many outstanding performances enthusiastically received by the audience...the loudest cheers quite rightly

reserved for the youngest students which can only give them more confidence as their experience progresses. Along with the new routines, amongst them the DDMIX, there were some favourites including the athletically performed Can Can, bringing the first half to a close and the Lord of the Dance, which has become a signature dance for Footwork and raised the roof at the end of the show. As with all Footwork shows in the

past, the costumes were magnificent; the music and production first class. Special mention should be given of the hard work carried out by the often unsung heroes of the front of house team, back stage and the dressers, all contributing to make the show run smoothly and an essential part of the Footwork family. For more information about Footwork Dance and details of how to enrol for classes for the new school year starting in September, contact Erica on 662 003 823.

34

Last Weeks Solutions on page 36

Horoscopes and Puzzles

POSTBAG

Kenny, why is my horoscope different in every newspaper I read?

Code Breaker

Each number in the Code Breaker grid represents a different letter of the alphabet. In this week’s puzzle, 2 represents Z and 11 represents B, so fill in Z every time the figure 2 appears and B every time the figure 11 appears. Now using your knowledge of the English language work out which letters should go in the missing squares. As you discover the letters, fill in other squares with the same number in the main grid and the control grid.

Alma P. Good question Alma! Each and every astrologer has their own focus and interpretation as their right. Whilst the Cosmos is constantly changing, the astrologer homes in on an aspect that reaches their attention. I realise that this can mean differing information. My horoscope is cast especially for the Costa Blanca with the appropriate co-ordinates. I have such a small space to offer a casting for the entire week, but I cannot include everything. Many newspapers and magazines buy in their Horoscope, and these are very often totally computer generated! With the support of the RTN and my loyal readers, I thank my lucky stars!

If It’s Your Birthday This Week Portents of luck and good fortune go hand in hand with some irritating delays this astrological year. Keeping your balance will be essential, and though the grass may look greener, you are best keeping your feet firmly where they now belong; and working on skills!

If you put in energy, love and commitment, as you have done; there comes a time to look back and take stock. This week sees more than a mere whiff of nostalgia, as Mercury sextiles Venus and your communicative skills are about to be rewarded. Time to take a good look back on all you have achieved with an eye now for what’s coming next!

Saturn may subdue your actions somewhat, now and in the weeks to come. The Cosmos allows for the entrance into the fifth house, where there is at least some stability right now. You have been given good advice, so take it, and listen and learn. There is something unknown to you which would change the way you are acting. Resolve is however, so close!

Backed by even your opposing sign of Gemini, nothing can really prepare you for the job in hand. The luck of Jupiter in cahoots with the Sun may make things easier, but you will still have to think on your feet. Someone has got hold of the wrong end of the stick, but you have heard all of the excuses! Haven’t they milked this for long enough now?

As the Sun takes on Neptune it is high time you got real and faced financial problems and all possible solutions. Money is often your goal, and that isn’t wrong, particularly as you have such a generous streak. However right now you have to tighten your belt and make economies all along the line, since expenditure has to cover your wants and needs.

You do not have to re-invent yourself to succeed right now, but there are some things that you have to get right before any dividends show. Start at the beginning with something new, because you have the backing of Mercury and the love and confidence of Virgo to help you on your way. Look within to make a fresh start but above all, just be you!

Your energies see you far away in your thoughts right now, the closer you come to a decision. Why should you even have to think of a compromise? The terms you offer are straight down the line, and anyone who really does love you wouldn’t want to treat you this shabby way. A time to be strong, yes, but you need to have soul searching contact too!!

Jupiter is sextiled by the Sun early this week. Such action connects you with your opposing sign of Sagittarius. It is correct to say that of all opposites across the Zodiac you have more in common with your opposite side than any other sign. Jupiter is in a benevolent mood, awakened by the Sun and so take on the new, take that risk, it will be worth it!

Your uncertainties are proved right this week, as you have strong intuition on the psychic side of your reckonings, and for good reason. Lately you seem to have been waiting for something bad to come along, but do not tempt fate. You always get a strong warning, and you always will if you believe in your innate abilities and put them into good use!

A wonderful time to think of yourself for a change. You seem busy making others happy, but let them make you happy too! It should be a reciprocal thing surely? Beware of what is behind a simple request. You hate to say NO but you are feeling uneasy, and you can’t quite put your finger on it. Jupiter squares Pluto, bringing luck, eventually!

Start the working week with the energies of the Full Moon and a chance, not an excuse, to make amends! Saying you are sorry and meaning it are two different things, but in the heat of the moment you lost your cool. Now everything is centred around that which you need to achieve right now, and this, at odds, will mean that you have to eat humble pie.

The best of times is now, so strike while the iron is hot! Better than sitting and ruminating, or waiting for something to come along, go in and see what a difference you can make to the agenda. As the Sun drifts into Plutonian energies you can expect a delay in getting the green light, but right now you have clearance for the preparatory work to do.

Neptune, en route to Ceres, takes on Mars. Face up to facts now because there is change out there on the horizon and you will have to be a strong part of it. This is a time to eliminate that which you no longer wish to be responsible for, and to enlist reasonable support for that which you do want. Be firm and decisive, your spiritual energies guide you.

Cryptic Crossword

35 Across 1 Party clobber (4) 3 Unusual play with Act I translated (8) 9 Platform that is provided with small flowers (7) 10 Fun and games for birds (5) 11 Majestic sort of lager (5) 12 Where sacrifices may be made involving one star (6) 14 In Armagh a stoic is dismayed (6) 16 A dog caught Stan’s partner (6) 19 Animals approached outskirts of Leeds (6) 21 Container, as required by brass band members (5) 24 Going on, a part of a yard (5) 25 Defence in boats at sea (7) 26 Oil installation engineers with best bib and tucker? (8) 27 The alcoholic’s partial cure (4) Down 1 Tot swallowed by fish it’s a nightmare (3,5) 2 Rock star’s undercover operation (5) 4 Italian trade union has to read document (6) 5 One-off programme for aviator (5) 6 Warm drink (7) 7 A little animal is terribly lean (4) 8 Fliers flapping arms (6) 13 Fashion on sale as at certain periods (8) 15 Avoid result of decapitation (4,3) 17 Stupid baronet plunged in river (6) 18 A biro’s deployed to make a line on a weather map (6) 20 John the singer is left in school (5) 22 Trees , we hear, that will cover billiard table (5) 23 Just blonde (4)

Quick Crossword Across 1. Genuine (4) 3. From the New World (8) 9. Unauthorised absence from school (7) 10. Courageous (5) 11. Grossly overweight (5) 12. Solution (6) 14. Horizontally (6) 16. Game bird (6) 19. Sum of money (6) 21. Licit (5) 24. Acknowledge, concede (5) 25. Make unclear (7) 26. Breed of terrier (8) 27. Apartment (4)

Misnomer Quiz 1 From which country did French horns originate? 2 What mineral is an Alaskan diamond? 3 The Portuguese Man o’ War (a sea-dwelling jellyfishlike invertebrate) alludes to a warship design devised in which country? 4 In the story of Cinderella (the French medieval version, which gave us the modern Western version) what were Cinderella’s slippers made from? 5 What is the main ingredient of a mince pie? 6 From what type of creature is Bombay duck made? 7 What colour is orange blossom? 8 According to the Bible how many (of each) sheep, cows and goats were taken onto Noah’s Ark? 9 Where did Panama hats originate? 10 What type of animal inspired the creation of Bugs Bunny, Brer Rabbit, and the Easter Bunny?

Down 1. Reasoning (8) 2. Sharp (5) 4. Distress signal (3,3) 5. Picture puzzle (5) 6. French castle (7) 7. Necessity (4) 8. Heavenly spirits (6) 13. Recklessly determined (4-4) 15. Countryside walker (7) 17. Enjoy to the full (6) 18. Leisurely walk (6) 20. Single (5) 22. Thin porridge (5) 23. Long story (4)

Word Wheel

There is 1x10 letter word and 62 others! Make as many 3 or more letter words as you can using any letter combination just once and you must use the central letter in every word!

Fill the grid so every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1-9

36

people

Enjoy a crafty time SKILLS ON DISPLAY: Local experts show how it’s done

CRAFT demonstrations are returning to Hondón de las Nieves. For the fifth time on August 11 and 12, Hondón de las Nieves are hosts to an original arts and crafts fair which is due to feature between 20 and 30 craft experts not only displaying their skills – and selling them – but also being able to watch them at work, and to ask questions about the tools, the materials and their techniques. There will be people working with leather, wood and paper, modelling clay, painting or making macramé and jewellery. Remember The Generation Game and the potter’s wheel? You’ll get your chance to turn your own little bowl. There will also be workshops for children and a few stalls with traditional delicacies. You can try Arab food and other treats in the tea tent or have a sweet or savoury

pancake made while you watch. Many of the locals participate in the fair and a group of youngsters run a tavern. Keep an eye out for the juggler on stilts! The fair is organised by Amata, the regional craft association that has spent the last 20 years organising the few real craft markets to be found in this part of Spain. It’s not easy to make a living in this fashion, when there is so much competition from people selling mainly imported goods, but it can be done. That’s why Amata insists on that everything on the stalls has to be made by hand and by the person actually on the stall. This year the fair is held during the fiestas of the Virgen de las Nieves, which are held every other year, because Hondón shares its patron saint with the neighbouring village Aspe. On

Saturday, at the end of the fair, the famous Correfocs (Fire run) is held - at midnight a group of people, dressed as devils and other fantastic characters will run, jump and dance around a big float that drives slowly through the streets of the village while setting off all sorts of fireworks, making it a spectacular and above all a noisy event that attracts hordes of people to the village. The Craft Fair will be held during the quieter moments starting at 7pm on both Friday 11 and Saturday 12 August and stays open till midnight. Hondón lies not far from Elche, Crevillente and Novelda; to get there from further away, take the Aspe exit on the A7 (South of Alicante) or A31 (Alicante-Madrid) and in Aspe itself follow the signs for Crevillente and Hondón de las Nieves. For more information, call 639 979 678.

Royal Naval Association Torrevieja branch

RNA Torrevieja with the sun over the yard arm

FOR the July meeting of the Torrevieja branch of the Royal Naval Association (RNA), members and friends met for their Menu del Dia at the El Mirador in the Eagles Nest. The restaurant did the ship mates and landlubbers alike proud, with a very tasty and excellent value lunch during which everyone whiled away the time with merriment and banter. The RNA is always looking for new members – whether you’ve served in the Royal Navy or

Last weeks puzzle answers (Issue 927) Cryptic Solution

Easy Solution

Soduku Solution

not - so for more information call the Chairman Paul Edwards on 618644934, Vice Chairman Danny Kay on 966716274 or Secretary Margaret Forshaw on 966 921 996. It might be hard to believe, but the RNA don’t just eat, drink and be merry and they do have meetings on the first Wednesday every month held at the Bar/Restaurante El Paraiso, near Carrefour, Torrevieja beginning at 5pm.

The Deadwood Stage takes the adult route SINCE the success of their last production May – Granma Mia – the Deadwood Stage Company certainly haven’t been sitting on their front stalls. Under the direction of David Whitney, they’re looking ahead and planning their latest theatrical venture which promises to be a show to remember. The next project is entitled Cinder-Hella which is a two-act comedy ‘panto’ written by David himself and more suited to an adult audience. The initial read through has already prompted much hilarity and looks set to be a happy and fun filled set of rehearsals. David Whitney has over fifty years of amateur stage experience under his belt, as actor, director and writer and is looking forward to the challenge of working with a new drama group. The comedy play, has elements of panto, with costumes, music and audience participation but David is keen to stress that it is not a ‘pantomime’ but a theatrical entertainment, filled with double entendres and adult humour. No date has been set for the production but it is sure to be one ‘Hella’ of a rehearsal getting there! With a couple of parts still in the offing the Deadwood Stage Company are seeking new members, both acting and non acting. This very friendly group meet every Wednesday afternoon from 3pm to 5pm at The Porter House Bar in the Rioja Centre which is located near to Villamartin. If you can help this charity-giving group in any capacity – either on, back or front of the stage – please contact the secretary, Mrs Vida Nelson, on 966 774 127.

Calling the Quesada ladies THE Annual General Meeting of the Quesada Ladies Club will be held this year on Tuesday September 12 at the Cooper’s Arms, Doña Pepa, Ciudad Quesada. Doors open at 2.30pm and the meeting is for members only.

Quiz solutions

Solution to 927

Codebreaker Solution

1 Snowy 2 Laika 3 Cujo 4 K-9 5 Bulls-eye 6 Buck 7 Fang 8 Cerberus

9 Sergeant Stubby 10 Nipper 11 Toto 12 Tock 13 Pickles 14 Buddy 15 Cavall

37

learn spanish

Basic Spanish for everyday needs by

Jane Cronin

Tengo que Last week you had some more homework to do, so here are the answers as usual. This time you had to translate into English. Necesito firmar esto para comprar mi casa. I need to sign this in order to buy my house. Voy a volver a casa para ver el fútbol. I’m going to return home to watch the football. Quiero aprender español para hablar con mi vecino. I want to learn Spanish in order to speak to my neighbour. Notice that sometimes it’s appropriate to say “to” and sometimes “in order to”, as the two have the same meaning. This week we’re going to look at one more “first person” expression, before moving on to pastures new in the next lesson. This time the expression consists of two words: tengo que. Tengo que means “I have to”, so therefore expresses an obligation. We all have obligations; I know I have plenty, though sometimes I despair when I’m teaching students who tell me they left all their obligations behind them when they moved to Spain! I think I’ll tell you some of my obligations so you can feel sorry for me as well as learn some more Spanish. Tengo que levantarme temprano. Tengo que llevar a mis hijos al instituto.

Tengo que ordenar la casa. Tengo que preparar mis clases. Tengo que dar de comer a mi gata. Tengo que hablar con mis estudiantes. Tengo que conducir mucho. Tengo que hacer las compras. Tengo que usar el ordenador. Tengo que escribir este artículo. Tengo que ….. … well, I’m beginning to feel sorry for myself, anyway. Here’s what I just said: I have to get up early. I have to take my children to school. (Instituto is secondary school). I have to tidy up the house. I have to prepare my classes. I have to feed my cat (nearly forgot her). I have to speak to my students (always helps). I have to drive a lot. I have to do the shopping. I have to use the computer. I have to write this article. Now I’d like you to rack your brains for things you have to do. There must be something like: Tengo que usar el mando de distancia. (I have to use the remote control). Please – I’m only joking. Some people find it strange that by adding the word “que” to “tengo” we can change the meaning

Elvis Presley: Caught in a Trap by Spencer Leigh Published to coincide with the 40th anniversary of Elvis' death on August 15, Spencer Leigh, the renowned music historian, biographer and radio broadcaster has written another masterful account of a legend of our age, full of the insight and humour that we have come to expect from his books. Not content to just write a biography just concentrating on the life of Elvis Presley, Spencer takes the reader on an evocative journey of time and place. He delves into the history of America’s Deep South and discusses how music became an integral part of the location that was to be Elvis' birthplace. His career was full of controversy and Elvis Presley:Caught in a Trap sorts the facts from fiction. What separated him from his contemporaries, his bizarre relationship with his manager Colonel Parker, just how old was Priscilla when they first met, how did he reinvent himself for Las Vegas, did he have to die so young, and why does his legend endure? To answer these questions Spencer Leigh spoke to band members, songwriters, friends, fans and many people who worked with the King, and he examines the evidence with the scrutiny of a forensic scientist. info@bookworldpuertobanus.com www@bookworldpuertobanus.com | 952 816 084

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from “have” to “have to”. This is only strange if we are still expecting to be able to translate word for word between the two languages. “Que” does not generally translate as “to”. It usually means “that” or “what”. The point is though that individual words, and especially these small linking words, have to be understood in a context as part of a whole expression. I expect that most of you know that tengo on its own means “I have”, and I’m sure many are aware that this changes to tienes to make the familiar form “you have.” Exactly the same change occurs with tengo que, (I have to), and tienes que, which therefore means “you have to.” This form can be useful in questions as well as in giving instructions: ¿Tienes que trabajar hoy? Do you have to work today? Tienes que tomar este medicamento. You have to take this medicine. There are many examples of how this can be used, but what I want to do is give you the general picture of how these simple forms are put together. Your homework this week is to write down all the things you have to do, beginning with tengo que. Remember that the next word is a verb in the infinitive (Tengo que estudiar español, for example). You can use a dictionary to find the words you need, but don’t get too complicated. Do what I do and keep it simple!!

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24 feb - 2 march 2017

health

Quirónsalud Torrevieja in new collaboration

TOGETHER: Major health and estate agent initiatives

The Hospital Quirónsalud Torrevieja has signed a collaboration agreement with the leading real estate developer Euromarina with the objective of establishing a framework of cooperation between both entities. Under this agreement, the hospital is committed to offer conventional check-ups to each client who purchases a permanent home located in the Vega Baja region through the Euromarina network. In addition, this agreement offers Euromarina clients a yearly dental clean and examination or annual blood tests. The exchange of information and promotional material between both companies will also allow clients and patients of Euromarina and Hospital Quirónsalud Torrevieja respectively to receive up-to-date information about new services on offer from each organization. Taking part at the official signing was the territorial director of Quirónsalud, Francisco Fiestras, and Commercial Director of Euromarina, Patricia Eugenia Quesada. For part-time residents and those with holiday homes – especially those that don’t speak Spanish – dedicated lines of information are being set up to give access to health services from someone who speaks their own language who can inform, advise and be available for any problems when they arise. In its ongoing efforts to modernise and adapt, the hospital offers patients the highest level of personal treatment backed up with quality care. Hospital Quirónsalud Torrevieja is a jewel in the private health sector of Alicante, and also links up with other health centres in the province for consultations and diagnosis that include Quirónsalud Medical Centre Santa Pola and Quirónsalud Medical Centre Orihuela. Hospital Quirónsalud Torrevieja has agreements in place with the main insurance companies, both national and international.

More E-smokers are ex-smokers The recent rise in e-cigarette use among adult smokers is associated with a significant increase in stopping smoking, finds a study published in The British Medical Journal (BMJ). This study, based on the largest representative sample of e-cigarette users to date, provides a strong case that e-cigarettes have helped to increase smoking cessation at the population level. Currently, the scientific community is divided over whether e-cigarettes are an aid to quitting smoking. Some suggest that e-cigarettes will have a positive impact on smoking rates by acting as a nicotine replacement therapy, while others argue that they could reduce the urgency to quit smoking. So a team of researchers, led by Professor Shu-Hong Zhu at the University of California, set out to examine whether the increase in use of e-cigarettes in the USA, was associated with a change in overall smoking cessation rate at the population level. They base their findings on five population surveys dating from 2001 to 2015. E-cigarette users were identified from the most recent survey (2014-15) and smoking cessation rates were obtained from those who reported smoking cigarettes 12 months before the survey. Rates from this survey were then compared to four

earlier surveys. Of 161,054 respondents to the 2014-15 survey, 22,548 were current smokers and 2,136 recent quitters. Among them, 38.2 per cent of current smokers and 49.3 percent of recent quitters had tried e-cigarettes. The results show that e-cigarette users were more likely than non-users to make a quit attempt (65 per cent v 40 per cent) and more likely to succeed in quitting for at least 3 months (8.2 per cent v 4.8 per cent). This study has certain limitations, which is common for population surveys. For example, survey questions were limited, which prevented detailed analysis of the quitting process and lack of information on the type of e-cigarette product used. The main strength is use of the largest

representative sample of e-cigarette users among the US population. Nevertheless, the study has two key findings. First, in 2014-15, e-cigarette users attempted to quit cigarette smoking and succeeded in quitting smoking at higher rates than nonusers. Second, the overall smoking cessation rate in 2014-15 increased significantly from that of 2010-11.

VAPING: E-cigs are the next step for many quitters. Photo credit: Twitter

Men’s health Gout – not an uplifting experience In a recent study, researchers followed nearly 48,000 men for an average of 10 years, some with gout and others that were healthy. They discovered that men with gout were 31 per cent more likely to report erectile dysfunction (ED) than men without the condition. What’s more, the problem can pop up before the painful joint issues even surface: those with gout were 63 per cent more likely to report

erectile dysfunction in the year preceding their diagnosis and within two years of a gout diagnosis, the risk of ED was 77 per cent higher than with healthy guys. One of the most painful forms of arthritis, gout occurs when too much uric acid builds up in the body. That’s known as hyperuricemia. Deposits of uric acid cluster in the joints, often in the big toe, and can hurt so bad it can wake people up during the middle of the night. The affected joint can be red, swollen, and feel warm to the touch. The link in the study persisted even after the researchers adjusted for factors that could contribute

to erectile dysfunction and gout, including smoking status, higher body mass index (BMI), and alcohol consumption. The build up of excess uric acid in the blood can affect the blood vessels, possibly by triggering vascular smooth muscle proliferation, and that has been linked to plaque build up. While more research needs to be done to confirm a cause-effect link, the researchers believe that the findings suggest that erectile problems can point to underlying gout before the painful joint issues even rise to the surface. So that’s one more reason to see your doctor when you start to notice such problems.

24 feb - 2 march 2017

39

health

Success with permanent Weight Loss with Slim4Life.es – Exante Diet SLIM4LIFE.ES HAS been awarded an authorised Exante distributoriship in Spain and is proud to announce that Exante Meal Replacement products- the UK’s leading WEIGHT REDUCTION/Slimming products are now available here. This also includes Personal Weight Loss Coaching – which is the secret to successful weight loss. Owing to the success of the first few months since opening in San Luis, it is with great pleasure that Slim4Life.es – Exante Diet have two new branches – one in Quesada and one in Torrevieja South – to enable us to accept more appointments. Shirley Latham of Slim4Life.es - Exante in Spain has successfully lost 5 and half stone in 6 months. Shirley says “besides the benefit of being slim again and fitting into all my lovely stylish clothes - the health benefits are what really count for me. My knees were collapsing under the load - and that was just for starters. I had no clothes to wear, felt lethargic and knew that my bad eating and drinking lifestyle was totally ruining my health. The sad fact was that I was DESPERATELY UNHAPPY BEING “FAT” - I avoided mirrors and my self esteem was nil. I just had to change and take that first positive action. Thank goodness for Exante Diet products. It just makes losing weight so easy and pleasant. IT’S SO EASY! 1. Decide which Exante diet plan is right for you. 2. Choose from our huge range of shakes, bars, meals, desserts & snacks 3. Book your free consultation OR join the Summer 28 Day Challenge HOW IT WORKS What is Exante? Exante diet plans are simple, flexible and work for you. We have a range of diet plans for you, suited for whether you are looking to drop a dress size, tone up or change your eating habits for good! WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT? Substitute up to 3 meals a day with our nutritious meal replacement products that give your body all the essential vitamins and minerals to support a healthy diet.

WANT TO TONE UP? Each Exante product is high in protein, low carb and packed full of fibre, perfect for gym bunnies looking for a convenient post-workout snack. WHY EXANTE? It works, it's convenient and it transforms lives! Our philosophy is healthy living made simple through easyto-follow recipes, flexible meal plans and exercises developed by our experts. Learn how to cook quick and delicious meals and follow your personal weight loss coach as she guides you though your weight loss journey. Support To Stay On Track. Does your busy lifestyle leave you short on time? Simply throw an Exante bar, shake or snack into your bag for a delicious and nutritious meal on-the-go. START YOUR TRANSFORMATION Try our 28 day SUMMER CHALLENGE to help guide you through the first 4 weeks of changing the way you eat with ExanteFeel healthy and watch the pounds fall off. Join us and make 2017 YOUR most amazing summer. Clients are finding that the benefit of the PERSONAL WEIGHT LOSS COACHING is THE KEY TO SUCCESSFUL WEIGHT LOSS.

Shirley has never felt better after losing 5 and a half stone

Phone or email Shirley for your free consultation on 675 619 568 or slim4life.es@gmail.com STIFFNESS: Big toe joint is the most common gout location

40

food & drink

Lassi came home cool as a cucumber

The recent spell of prolonged heatwave conditions has everyone reaching for rehydration liquids throughout the day and night. Water is good, well very good, but quite boring, well very boring actually, whilst

alcohol is good, but bad, well very bad actually and could make you even more dehydrated. So, what are the healthy alternatives, to carbonated and mass produced sugar or sweetener loaded soft drinks,

Cucumber lime mint agua fresca Cool and refreshing agua fresca made with cucumbers, lime, and mint, is a perfect way to cool down on a hot day. Agua frescas are refreshing fruit drinks popular all over Mexico, found at almost any taqueria, as they’re cooling, sweet and great alongside spicy food. This particular agua fresca is made with cucumbers, fresh limes, and mint and it’s the cucumber juice base that seems to have the effect of lowering the body temperature.

that will quench the thirst and keep the’ lipsmackin’ taste buds happy too? Here are a couple of delicious ways to keep refreshed and boost your vitamin count at the same time:

Cherry cloud

Ingredients: 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk, 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened, 6 ounces frozen whipped topping, thawed, 1 (20 ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained, 1 (20 ounce) can cherry pie filling, 1/2 cup pecans Method: 1. Beat sweetened condensed milk, cream cheese, and whipped topping together in a bowl. Stir pineapple, cherry pie filling, and pecans into the milk mixture. 2. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and freeze for at least 1 hour.

Ingredients: 1 lb of cucumbers (about 2 good sized cucumbers), ends trimmed, but peel still on, coarsely chopped 1/2 cup lime juice from fresh limes (from about 1 pound of limes, or 5 to 10 limes, depending on how juicy they are) 1 1/4 cup packed (spearmint) mint leaves (about a large handful), woody stems removed 1/2 cup sugar Approximately 1 1/4 cup of water Method: 1. Put ingredients in blender, add enough water to fill 3/4 of blender. Hold the lid on the blender and purée until smooth. 2. Strain out solids: Place a fine mesh sieve over a bowl and pour the purée through it, pressing against the sieve with a rubber spatula or the back of a spoon to extract as much liquid out as possible. 3. Add ice: Fill a large pitcher halfway with ice cubes. Add the juice. Serve with sprigs of mint and slices of lime.

Mango Lassi

Lassi is the milkshake of the Indian subcontinent. Creamily nourishing, it’s also thirstquenching. Mango, the archetypal tropical fruit, abundant at this time of year is the most favoured choice in most Indian restaurants, with it’s cool, creamy texture. They are easy to make at home and you can use either canned mango pulp or cubed fresh or frozen mango. Depending on how ripe and sweet your mango is, or if you are using canned and already sweetened mango pulp, you will need to add more or less honey or sugar to the lassi. If you have cardamom pods, crush the pods to remove the seeds, then grind the seeds with a mortar and pestle. Ingredients: 1 cup plain yogurt 1/2 cup milk 1 cup chopped very ripe mango (see how to peel and chop mango), frozen chopped mango, or a cup of canned mango pulp 4 teaspoons honey or sugar, more or less to taste A dash of ground cardamom (optional) Ice (optional) Method: Put mango, yogurt, milk, sugar and cardamom into a blender and blend for 2 minutes. If you want a more milkshake consistency and it's a hot day, either blend in some ice as well or serve over ice cubes. Sprinkle with a tiny pinch of ground cardamom to serve. The lassi can be kept refrigerated for up to 24 hours.

41

home and garden

The personal touch with an online price Beds and Sofas is a factory outlet just 200 metres off the La Zenia roundabout for all your home requirements, boasting the best prices and fastest delivery on the costas. With 35 years of experience behind them, the Beds and Sofas team are on hand to help their

customers find the best mattresses, bed bases, bed frames, mattress toppers and pillows as well as sofas, corner units, sofa beds and relax armchairs. Beds and Sofas deliver from Murcia to Alicante and as far inland as La Romana.

For more information or to browse Beds and Sofas offerings, head to Locals 3 and 9, Centro Comercial Zenia Mar, Calle Maestro Torralba 1 in La Zenia or call 966 773 250.

Outdoor kitchens

AL FRESCO: Kitchens move outdoors for the summer

It’s the time of the year when more and more people in Spain eat al fresco during the summer evenings. Many have taken the extra step to move all their cooking facilities outside and create an outdoor kitchen complete with everything, including the kitchen sink! Perhaps you’ve been to a function with friends and neighbours at a house that has a little more than just a charcoal barbeque to cook the traditional sausages and burgers, and you fancy something similar for your garden? Before investing in such a potentially expensive project, here are a few ideas and suggestions. An outdoor kitchen is an excellent way to equip your backyard for entertaining

and feeding hungry friends and family. Outdoor kitchens range from small areas with little more than a built-in barbeque grill to large, fully equipped kitchens complete with one or more grills, countertops, sinks, bars and storage cabinets. When planning an outdoor space, you'll need to think about how many people you intend to accommodate, your entertaining needs, and your budget. The next step is to determine the best location for your kitchen, the size requirements, design layout, countertop placement, and the appliances you'll need. Finally, you must choose the best materials and equipment for accomplishing all your goals.

42

24 feb - 2 march 2017

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962 807 247 653 733 066 www.surveyorscostablanca.com for sale

ALARMS ALARMS & CCTV: All types, quality systems, very reasonable, guaranteed. Tel: 966 797 370 / 662 243 099 bathrooms

For all bathroom conversions contact 698 320 434 (254876) boating Jet Ski Sea -Doo Bombardier GTX 4 Tec , limited edition, 2003, 90 hours, UK reg. 2500€ no offers , contact wrightnicola50@gmail.com tel 0034 642 218 938 (918)

electrical repairs

254841

locksmith

QUICK SILVER INFLATABLE 380 WITH MARINER 25HP AND ROAD TRAILER. IN GOOD CONDITION, BOAT OWNED FROM NEW. EASY TO LAUNCH. NEW BOAT FORCES SALE. PILAR DE LA HORADADA. 1000€ ONO. +447785583155 (252203) motoring

Security UNION

253304

J & J PAINTERS. Inside - outside - clean - fast - low cost. Torrevieja - Orihuela Costa and surrounding areas. Tel: 650 363 159 ALL types of construction services, reforms, reconstruction: kitchens, bathrooms, roofs, tiling, floors, plasterboard, bricklaying, plumbing & facades. Reasonable Prices. Torrevieja & surrounding areas. Call 672 929 913 any time BUSINESS FOR SALE Unique Business Opportunity. Due to retirement our outlet U.K.Supplies Direct in Mazarron is for sale. Selling branded products. JML/Vax/Swan/Morphy Richards/ Pifco/Breville plus many more. The new owner will have exclusivity on all these products throughout the Costa Calida. There is room to increase the volume of sales via the Internet as yet untouched in the whole of Spain. All serious inquiries to uksuppliesdirect@yahoo.co.uk (240973) CARAVANS FOR SALE

CARAVANS FOR SALE Hobby Excellent 540wlu 2016 4 Berth, roller awning & safari room. Mover, fully equipped to use as owner retiring. Big saving from new 18,500€ Tel: 966 729 293 617 283 503 (255017)

WE BUY, sell & transport all makes of static caravans 630 055 418 Elsyd7@hotmail.com CHARITIES/CHURCHES LA SIESTA EVANGELICAL CHURCH on Urbanisation La Siesta, Torrevieja is a friendly, English speaking Church. We hold services each Sunday and everyone is welcome. Our 11.00 am Services are held every 2nd and 4th Sunday in the month (and 11.00 am on the 5th Sunday, if this applies.) On the 1st and 3rd Sunday’s our Services are at 9.30 am. Our choir sings at our 11.00 am Services and there is also a Sunday School, called Stepping Stones, on these Sundays. We welcome residents, visitors and children. For more information see our website www. lasiestaevangelicalchurch.org or telephone Pastor Keith on 666 180 108. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS IS ALCOHOL COSTING YOU MORE THAN MONEY? Drinking to excess not only affects your health it can spill over into every other aspect of your life – damaging everything that is important to you. Englishspeaking AA meetings are held throughout the Costa Blanca from Valencia City to Murcia. Anyone wishing to attend a meeting or discuss a possible drinking problem contact Costa Blanca North: *648 169 045* or Costa Blanca South: *625 912 078* or Costa Calida *679 385 105*. All calls are treated in the strictest confidence. AA in German: 645 456 075; Spanish: 679 212 535; Flemish: 635 047 053; and Scandinavian: 659 779 222. www.aa-costablanca.org (93323) ROUNDABOUT CHARITY SHOP. We are now into summer and very soon we will be feeling the heat! It is time therefore for another visit to the shop where you might find a bargain or two. Choose from the clothing selection, jewellery, household goods, books or bric a brac. There is usually something there for everyone --- but not always. Charitable donations have recently been made to The Alzheimers Centre, Cancer Research and The Amigos Ambulance Service. We still need your help with donations etc. Please keep them coming in! We are situated on Avenida Del Furs close to the Fountain Roundabout and immediate left by Don Colchon bed shop. THE ROYAL NAVAL ASSOCIATION, Torrevieja Branch, meet at 17.00 on the first Wednesday of each month at the

Restaurante El Paraiso, Urb. Jardin del Mar 3 (behind Carrefour), Torrevieja. Contact Paul Edwards, Chairman 618 644 934 or Margaret Forshaw, Secretary 966 921 996. THE ROYAL BRITISH LEGION Orihuela Costa - covering from Punta Prima to San Javier. The branch meets at Olympia restaurant, Mil Palmeras on 3rd Thursday of each month at 19.00 - 19.30pm. More info can be found on branch website www. orihuelacostarbl.co.uk. THE ANGLICAN CHURCH, La Fustera. For more info: contact Frank Bentley on 966 495 188 CANCER SUPPORT GROUP (MABS) MURCIA/MAR MENOR Help and support is just a phone call away, Avda Rio Nalón, Tel: 693 275 779 TORREVIEJA Christian Fellowship (TCF) is an English speaking lively church located at Avenida de las Valencianas 68, Torrevieja 03183. Residents and holidaymakers are welcome to attend our services with communion and ‘kids church’ each Sunday at 10.30am. We have a Fellowship Meeting (Bible Study) each Wednesday at 6.00pm. For further information see our website www.tcf-Spain. org or tel 966 700 391. TORREVIEJA STROKE SUPPORT GROUP meets each Friday 2.45pm to 5pm in The Annex, (behind Age Concern Centre), Calle Paganini, Urb. La Siesta. Our aim is to support stroke survivors and their carers by a range of facilities from speech therapy, rehabilitation exercise, group discussion etc. For info: Louie 966 718 964 or 965 071 920, e-mail: strokesupportgroup@ hotmail.com Donations and further voluntary helpers are needed and guest speakers with relevant knowledge or experience are very welcome. THE ROYAL BRITISH LEGION Gran Alacant & La Marina Branch meets First Monday of the month 18:00 at “La Taberna next to Monte & Mar Restaurant & Bowls Club, Plaza Mayor (MASA Square) Gran Alacant. granalacant.secretary@gmail. com CHIMNEY SWEEP PROFESSIONAL CHIMNEY SWEEP. Family Business established over 60 years. 660 478 881

24 feb - 2 march 2017 your insurance needs, including best deals on Funeral plans. Buildings and contents cover from just 82 euros per year and cars from 120 euros. Tel 966 787 123 / 622 275 561 / 686 116 297 / email info@ sosinsuranceinspain.com

computers

INTERNET

253631

DAMP www.dryzone-espana.com - We are the longest established Damp Proofing company in Spain. We can cure Rising Damp, leaking Flat Roof or Terrace problems quickly & safely. We can make your Underbuild Dry. Villa Paint Due! We can protect your villa & stop PENETRATING DAMP with a Protective Coating. Call us for a survey now; Tel: 634 322 672 ELECTRICIAN

MR FIXIT. For all your electrical, plumbing, general & appliance & boiler repairs. No call out charge. 698 320 434 (250877) INSURANCE & iNVESTMENTS

GET YOUR business noticed online! Make sure that expats in Spain can find your product, service, restaurant, bar or shop. Contact Spain’s newest and brightest online directory TODAY. Call 952 561 245 or email mark.w@euroweeklynews.com for more details.

PET CHARITIES EASYHORSE CARE RESCUE CENTRE. We aim to rescue HORSES. If you would like to DONATE please call 965 967 033 or sales@easyhorsecare.net www.easyhorsecare.net or call Sue 652 021 980 PLUMBING

MAN AND VAN UK - Spain. 2 vans travelling twice a month, Murcia - North / South UK. Storage in Spain. Tel 610 846 260 or 0044 751 918 6355 email van. man@hotmail.co.uk

UK-SPAIN-IRELAND. Removals with the personal touch. Pets carried with care 965 696 750 / 0044 (0) 7447 918 589 e-mail

MOBILE Metal Work Any welding or plasma cutting work carried out. For a free quote call 639 487 503

electrical, plumbing,

chrisyounge73979@aol.com

www.eriksmetalwork.com. ALL METAL WORK UNDERTAKEN. Costa Calida. stan@eriksmetalwork.com. 636 050 008.

out charge. 698 320 434

meeting point VERY YOUNG AT HEART 60YR Old Gentleman WLTM Fun Loving Lady for Serious/Lasting Relationship – Martin 966 392 845/447793 564 156 MOTORING

leader in our country in the sale of direct car, motorbike, home and company fleet insurance. Since we started out in 1995, our philosophy has always been to offer an excellent service with the best prices in the market. For

situations vacant

TAILOR made, durable canvas, sails, umbrella, spa and BBQ covers. Mazarron based, and at Procomobel Market, Guardamar Saturday mornings. 667 879 399 krugercanopies@yahoo.co.uk

REMOVALS AND STORAGE

MR FIXIT. For all your

METALWORK

WE ARE currently the market

SOS <http://www. sosinsuranceinspain.com> Insurance in Spain. Best prices available. CALL US FIRST for all

PERGOLA COVERS

the most competitive quotes in English, call Linea Directa on 902 123 309.

general & appliance &

satellite and tv

boiler repairs. No call (250877) POOLS

POOL MAINTENANCE Repairs, Spares and Leak Testing. Call 965 725 565 / 676 945 360 www.pooltechspain.com (251524)

situations vacant

PROPERTY FOR SALE

253703

CIUDAD QUESEDA Villa 500m2 plot, 4 double bedrooms, large bathroom and shower room. Large Balcony, Cloakroom, lounge dinner, large kitchen (white goods included). Oil central heating though out. Double glazed conservatory, car port. 10x8 solar heated pool. Screened BBQ area, plus much more seeing is believing. 340,000€. Contact 688 486 752 private sale

FOSTER CARERS NEEDED K9 would like to hear from anyone who would be interested in fostering one of our many animals . We have Cat’s and Dogs to suit everyone, families,couples and those of us that are in our twilight years. K9 would paticulaly like to hear from people who are interested in Fostering one of elderley animals or one who has a longterm health condition such as Leishmania. Our two excellent shelter managers, Beverley and Alan, are the people you need to talk to. They handle all our fostered animals and their carers and will help you choose the right companion. Call bev and Alan on 600845420 for more information and possibly arrange to visit your future house mate.(254409) Job: Optical dispenser Skill required: Experience in Optics, with good customer service skills, ideally fluent in German, English and Spanish (German nationality would be preferred as the role will be working with German clients) Please send Cvs to Martin Blake at dir.santaponca@ st.uk.specsavers.com

LIST NOW. www.woodenpools.limited info@woodenpools.limited TELECOMS FED UP PAYING TOO MUCH FOR YOUR MOBILE PHONE CALLS? THEN CONTACT TELITEC TODAY. CALLS TO SPAIN 7C PER MINUTE INCLUDING MOBILES. CALLS TO UK 5.3C PER MINUTE. NO MONTHLY FEES, NO CONTRACT. WWW.TELITEC.COM TEL: 902 889 070 (0) WANTED DIESEL car LHD and motorhome right or LHD wanted.Cash waiting Tel 650 722 905 WANTED Quad Bike and Jet Ski. Call 650 722 905 (247257) RECORDS & CDs WANTED. Pop, Rock, Jazz, Blues. Top cash paid. Henry 630 665 363 WANTED Cars, vans, caravans, 4 X 4’s British Spanish 600 781 873 ibuyanycar@hotmail.com XXX RELAXATION Readers of a sensitive disposition may find some of the advertisements in this section offensive.

DO YOU CARE? If so, why not join our team of carers who work in the UK. Earn from £952 - £1,456 for 2 weeks. Good written/spoken English, British or EU Passport required. Contact Sandra on 658 965 204 or email s.field@consultuscare.com FIELD SALES positions available. Must have own transport, English and Spanish preferred, but not essential, must have local knowledge of the area and be smart and presentable. Applications by email with full CV should be sent to recruitment@ euroweeklynews.com.

removal services

UK - SPAIN - UK. Masses of experience. New clean vehicles running weekly. Fully insured with RSA. Genuinely CARING service. 1 CBM to ANY size move! ONLINE QUOTE!! www.bmceuropean.com Tel: 951 242 430 or UK 08456 443 784 please FIND US ON FACEBOOK! (253763)

Orihuela Costa areas. Would suit active retired person. Call 600 061 202.

43

SWIMMING POOLS

Sales rep required for distribution company. Part time, one day per week. Torrevieja /

WOODEN POOLS LIMITED. Manufacturers & installers of wooden above ground pools. Take the plunge with one of the above ground pools. Best of all “No Planning Permission Required” Tel: 634 322 672. Phone or email for a FREE COLOUR BROCHURE & PRICE

ENJOY Veronica´s exciting full 1 hour massage. Fully qualified. For an appointment call 679 292 678 FRIENDLY MATURE ENGLISH lady offers massage plus escort service in a comfortable apartment. New to Alicante area. Call Vicky on 691 842 737 for further information. VIAGRA, cialis, kamagra all areas 604 385 476. Viagra4you19@gmail.com

relax

transport

254944

232500

44

248138

Chip Chip is a small dog about 7 or 8 years old, who was abandoned by her owners with Twinkle and Itzy, when they did a moonlight flit back to the UK to avoid debts. She is quite nervous with people until she gets to know you and then she is really affectionate. Chip is spayed and is used to cats and other dogs. If you are interested in adopting this lovely girl then call K9.

254710

Betsy Betsy is a 4 year old Chihuahua and is 1 of the 13 we rescued from a puppy farm. She is slightly nervous when she meets new people or in a new environment but when she is settled is a lively, happy little girl. Betsy weighs just 4.2 kilos, she is vaccinated, sterilised and great with other dogs

Leah APAH has lots of kittens, including five tiny kittens who were dumped at their Cattery in a Supermarket shopping basket. Some of the kittens are ready for homing, some are too young yet, but can be reserved for when they are ready to leave. If you are looking to adopt a kitten, you can contact them to arrange to visit

45

motoring

Road Test - Volkswagen Transporter Trendline

It is necessary to adapt your driving style when behind the wheel of a vehicle that does not have a rear view mirror. This becomes clear when I am sat in the Volkswagen Transporter Trendline 2.0 TDi Bluemotion. It is the white van man’s dream vehicle, tough and robust, fast and efficient. And although it very much does feel like a car to drive with fairly light steering and a good driving position, the fact remains that there are no windows at the rear and no rear view mirror. The driver must rely on the wing mirrors. Now that is all very well but it is still not possible to see behind the back of the vehicle so any reversing must be done with extreme care. On the centre console where the radio and sat nav can be found, there is also ParkPilot which automatically appears when reverse is selected on the five speed manual gearbox. But this is not a camera feed which I think would be really helpful in a vehicle like this. However, it will bleep thanks to sensors in the rear bumper should anything get in the way. Nevertheless as a motorist who more often than not can be found behind the wheel of a car, driving a panel van such as this does take considerable getting used to. First of all I take it for a run to the local tip, after removing two moth bitten rolls of carpet from the upstairs bedrooms. Such a van makes life so much easier; just sling the carpet in and close the 254554 double doors. It would

have taken two journeys in my little Fiesta. On arrival at the tip I am told to report to the site office. “Why?” I ask. “Because you are driving a commercial vehicle and you need a permit.” I wasn’t expecting that. Anyway, after a chat with the site manager, I am informed that as long as I am only dumping residential rubbish that it is possible to apply for a free permit from Hampshire County Council. Explaining that I only had the vehicle for a short time, the manager kindly agreed to let me deposit my waste without further ado. My two daughters Harriett (5) and Heidi (3) sit on the double passenger seat watching all of this going on and thoroughly enjoying the entertainment. “Why did you have to go to see the first aid office?” asks Harriett. Apparently it looks similar at school and the teacher wears a fluorescent top, too. So carpet gone and hopefully the moth problem, I have another task for the Transporter. This time we need to drive to Suffolk to collect some of Caroline’s late uncle’s belongings including his 2002 Vauxhall Corsa. Our daughters stay with their grandparents and little Henry (7mths) accompanies Caroline and I in his car seat. It is easy to switch off the airbags in the front, one by button and the far left one by using a key on the edge of the dashboard that meets the door. There are of course no child locks to lock the doors but fortunately it is impossible for a child to grab the door handle from a rear facing car seat. More trust is required with my older daughters but there wasn’t a problem. We leave at 6am and get to Suffolk three hours later where we load the van up with various items of furniture. It is easy to tie them down thanks to the loops that are fitted to the floor to tie straps through. The floor itself is a clever sort of rubber

Tim Saunders - Car test drives and car reviews www.testdrives.biz. Test drives and car reviews of all makes of cars expertly written by advanced motorist and motoring journalist Tim Saunders

Facts at a glance

Transporter panel van T28 Trendline SWB EU6 2.0 TDI 102PS 5-speed Manual Price: Total RRP incl. VAT £25,410 Top speed: 98mph

0-60mph: 15.3secs Economy: 47.9mpg Power: 102bhp

Watch the video at www.testdrives.biz which also helps hold the furniture in place. The useful sliding side door is really helpful because it allows items to be lifted in from the pavement. My wife would have liked to see loops on the walls and ceiling too because she felt that that would have been even more useful. It takes longer to travel home because traffic on the M25 is at a standstill as usual during daylight driving. I follow behind Caroline, who is driving her new Corsa with Henry in the back. It’s a bit of a challenge to drive such a distance with one following the other but during our journey we notice other vehicles doing just the same. Despite some vigorous driving around roundabouts near home all the furniture stays upright and in the same position as I left it – nothing broken - so very impressed. It’s been a good test and one that saw the Transporter return around 30mpg.

46

motoring

SEAT in the snow In order to beat the heat in the height of summer, SEAT are going back to winter for a short spell with world rally champion Juha Kankkunen for a series of testing of the Seat Ateca on a frozen lake in the north of Finland, only 200 kilometres away from the Arctic Circle. Winter in Finland lasts six months, making it the longest season of the year. With temperatures that reach 20 °C below zero, Kankkunen has driven the Ateca without even breaking sweat. Lake Pikku-Nissi is one of the country’s 188,000 bodies of water. Although the summer landscape is completely

SNOW TRIALS: The Ateca put through its paces.

SUMMER AT LAKE PIKKU-NISSI: 200 kilometres away from the Arctic Circle

THE DRIVER: assures that driving the Ateca on snow has been a fun and easy experience

2015 SEAT IBIZA 1.6 TDi, air-conditioning, CD/radio with aux plug-in, 44,000kms 2015 FIAT 500 1.2 SPORT air-con, CD/radio with USB & Aux plug-in, city steering, 56,000kms

9,995€

Was 9,995€

Now 8,995€

2015 SEAT LEON 1.2 TSi REFERENCE 6 speed, climate control, cruise control, CD/radio with USB plug-in, 42,000kms

11,995€

2015 NISSAN NOTE 1.5DCi 90 TEKNA In silver metallic 40,000kms Cruise control USB plug in and more

9,500€

2015 HYUNDAI i10 1.1 ADVANCE air-con, CD/radio with USB & Aux plug-in, cruise control, 19,500kms 2015 SKODA FABIA 1.0i JUNIOR one owner car, climate control, USB plug-in with Bluetooth, 40,000kms

8,495€

8,500€

2014 VW POLO TSi air-con, CD/radio with USB & aux plug-in, alloy wheels, 41,000kms

8,995€

2014FORD FIESTA 1.25 TREND in black 52,000kms Climate control, USB media music system

2010 VESPA 125cc SUPERSPORT immaculate condition in Rosso Ferrari, 17,000kms, FSH, guarantee & transfer 2006 RENAULT CLIO 1.5 DCi 5 door, air-con, FSH, 100,000kms 2004 FORD FOCUS 1.6i TREND air-con, CD/radio, perfect holiday home car 2003 FORD MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE finished in Gleaming black. Very clean motor, ready for summer 1999 FORD MUSTANG 3.8L V6 AUTOMATIC 35th anniversary edition, Crystal white with special 19” alloys 1997 CEVROLET CAMERO 3.8V6 finished in arctic white paintwork with 18”alloys Targa top!!

8,495€

Now 2,800€

SOLD

1,995€ 12,995€ 8,995€ 6,995€

1994 SUBARU IMPREZA WRX STi ACROPOLIS edition, no 20 of 100 hand-built cars, 68,000miles

14,995€

1992 PORSCHE 944 CABRIO FSH, electric blue metallic

1970 CHEVROLET CHEVELLE 502 SS 8.2 V8, restored in 1996 & only done 7,500 miles since

14,995€ POA

different, the winter cold freezes the

surface of the lake, creating a 90 cm thick layer of ice that cars can safely drive on. Snow tyres, featuring special spikes,

and the 4Drive total traction system

greatly helped Kankkunen to stay on the

correct course. Aside from this spectacular show of skill at the wheel, when driving on snow or ice “it is advisable to gently work the pedals and turn the steering

wheel, accelerate slowly and whenever possible, drive in high gear”, says SEAT

driver Jordi Gené, who also participated

in these tests carried out in Scandanavia.

sport

No summer break for CD Montesinos AFTER A very successful season for CD Montesinos, when the First Team won promotion to the 1st Regional, and the Youth (Under 19’s) just missed out on promotion, the CD Montesinos Committee have not stopped working in the last few months. Apart from strengthening the First Team for the higher level (a list of the new players will follow over the forthcoming weeks), one of the biggest talking points in and around the town was the formation of a reserve side which would incorporate all of last season’s youth players, who are now over-age but perhaps not good enough yet for the higher level. With this in mind and always knowing the limitations of a small town like Los Montesinos, the Club’s Committee thought long and hard over this but finally decided to go ahead and register a

side which will almost certainly be called CD Montesinos “B” and play in the 2nd Regional Division. Speaking to Club President Felipe Paredes, he was adamant that youth players would not have to leave the town to play their football, as has happened year upon year in Los Montesinos. “We have a good group of young players who are not yet ready to walk into the 1st team. However, these players will only improve and mature if they are playing regular football. In the past this has meant them leaving the town to play at other clubs. My Committee and I were unhappy with this situation and we feel we have now done the right thing.” He went on to explain that: “It will be a tough first season for both the players and the Club, especially financially. But I am sure that this is laying the foundations for us to be able to grow and not to have to rely on too many players from outside Los Montesinos.” Pre-season training has already begun and takes place in the evenings at the football ground in Los Montesinos. The Club are presently looking for more players to join, especially for the newly formed side, so if anybody is interested in playing organised football at a good level, please contact the club via the supporters club at thefullmonte2011@hotmail.com

ON THE ROAD WITH ELCHE CF

ACROSS the length and breadth of Spain during the forthcoming 2017 / 18 Spanish football season, people will become more familiar with the colours of Elche Football Club. The club have just been presented with their new team bus and the familiar green colour and accompanying shield will be easily recognisable as it visits the 15 stadiums that

47

24 feb - 2 march 2017

make up the league. This year, the former La Liga team are playing in Group II of the Second Division B and are facing a journey of 12,000 kilometres to all points of the country and that’s without the possibility of more should they qualify for the play-off stage at the end of the season. The furthest distances to be travelled to the away fixtures

will be to Peralada (1,336.6 kilometres, round trip), Olot (1270.8), Llagostera (1,229.4), Sabadell (1,088), Badalona (1,086,2) and Cornellá ). The closest will be to Alcoy, Ontinyent, Valencia and Sagunto. For the matches against Atletico Baleares, Mallorca, Formentera and Mallorca they’ll hop on an aircraft.

Celts July Open Day WINNERS: Proud Celts display the fruits of a hot day

LA SERENA was the venue for the 2017 July Open Day and conditions were extremely hot – even for golf – with the glorious sunshine mixed in with some very high humidity. Despite this, the conditions didn’t pose a problem for one or two of the players as the scores will attest. On the day, NTP’s were won by Terry Fitzgerald, Sam Currie, John O’Brien and a new overseas player, Becky McGeehan, playing of + 1 handicap scooped three. Our visitors’ prize was won by Sam Currie with 42, the best score of the day. Category III - Terence Welsh 33, Jane Knight 32 and Roy Sutherland 31. Category II - Kenneth McGeehan 36, John Aitchison 36 and Alan Proudfoot 34; third Gary Hall 33. Category I - Becky McGeehan 35, Terry Fitzgerald 35 and Andy Currie 32. Second over-all went to Susan Owens with 37 points and the overall winner Gordon McCadden on 40 points. The captain Alisdair McLean was at hand to present the monthly prizes and the lucky winners in the Crystal events were: Week 1 - winner, Janet Bryan 43, Pauvla Serakova 40 and Holly Thomson 40. Week 2 - Ian McCormack 37, Karne Neal 37 and Steve Hopkins 36. The medal winners were: Category II, Lynne McCormack 75 and Category I Pauvla Serkava 68. July medal, Category II, Lynne McCormack 61 and Category I Terry Fitzgerald 69. Congratulations to all the winners and to those who participated. It was great to see

Café Uno Golf Society annual Captain’s Day THE well supported Café Uno Golf Society from Catral has held their annual Captain’s Day. In a sign that another season has flown past, this event signals the last of fixtures for the year and also the AGM that was held on Wednesday to elect new committee members and prepare for the new season.

and dehydrated golfers to be well and truly watered and reflect on a great day’s golf enjoyed by all that took part. The format was individual Stableford and prizes awarded for nearest the pin and 2’s. With two categories on the day, the results were as follows. There were two categories on the day.

The beautiful and very challenging Las Colinas was the venue for the Captain’s Day and thus the excellent turn out to play on such a fine course on a sunny and hot day; although some did suffer in the heat. As always, the welcome 19th hole was on hand for the group of weary

Gold Category 1st A. Baines - 34pts. 2nd S. Lawrence - 33pts on c/b. Silver Category 1st J. Kilkenny - 30pts on c/b. 2nd B. Howie - 30pts on c/b. 3rd I. Jones - 30pts on c/b. Nearest the pin winners

G. Butterworth, P. Jones, S. Lawrence and R. Rogers. 2’s winners - H. Hunter, G. Butterworth, A. Baines, P. Whitham. Lots of hard work goes in to running and organising a golf society, which can be a thankless task and very time consuming. Worthy of special thanks go to the Captain - Graham Butterworth, the handicap secretary - John Pedersen, and the general secretary - Bill Howie. And finally, Café Uno in Catral deserves a big pat on the back for being fine hosts and for their much appreciated sponsorship on the society.

so many members remain for the presentation. As to the Open Day itself, many people are deserving of grateful thanks. The hard working green-keeping staff under the guidance of Wayne the head green keeper for the fine condition of the course, and the clubhouse staff of Karolina and Jean looked after all requirements which allowed a great day of golf. Thanks to Philip, Terry and Alisdair for their organisation of the event. We used our monthly presentation to donate the fine sum of €800 to the Elche Children’s Home which was collected on our members’ charity day. Roger and Jenny were there on behalf of the Home to acknowledge the contribution. Roger thanked The Celts and the members for their generosity and also Bruno and La Serena for their support. We are playing a round of The International League in El Saler which has staged the Spanish Open and is ranked in the top 10 courses of Europe. We have, through the federation, organised a bus to take us to El Saler. Please let me or your captain know if you intend to use this free transport on the day. Once again thank you to Andres and Alberto for all their support in Valencia. We always welcome new members and guests and if you would like to play in one of our Open Days why not contact us? For further details on membership call 615 466 398 or e-mail johnobrienalicante@gmail.com.

CYCLOGICAL Calle Los Arcos, 7 03170 QUESADA Cycle Sales, Repairs, Hires, Accessories & Clothing Road bikes + Tandems Mountain bikes + Kids Bikes Cyclists handbooks Ladies bikes + BMX Bikes Vol 1 and 2. 40 routes City Bikes + Kids Trailers with maps & loads of Hybrid Bikes + Tag-a-longs useful tips Electric bikes + Child Seats

FULL SERVICE ALL BIKES

25€

Plus a great selection of spares & accessories Opening Hours Mon - Fri 09:30 - 12:30 Saturday 10:00 - 14:00 now stocking

Road Bikes

For more information call Gary or Lynn on: 637 487 377

www.cycologicalcostablanca.com

* PART EXCHANGE WELCOME *