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Mahar, Tracy May, Marlo Miller, Jess Phillips, Michael M. Sinclair, Kelsey Walker, Chip Weiner, James Ostrand Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest........................... 40
Music Week ................................................... 42 SENIOR ACCOUNT Music: review: Tampa Bay Blues Fest........................... Concert ArticEXECUTIVES Monkeys ..........................40 42 Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda
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Burr, who damn well knew better, didn’t say a word. How to profit from the plague, p. 11.
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The idea of staying home goes against the ethos of an alt-weekly.
But empathy takes energy; it’s time to stay put, p. 7.
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EDITOR’S NOTE
Stay home By Ray Roa
T
he idea of staying home goes against the ethos of this newspaper. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay—along with hundreds of other 100% free alt-weeklies across the country— revolves around the community being able to gather in public. We write about events, host them, and do all we can do to shine a light on the doers who make the Bay area such a beautiful place to live. My life is better when I’m around all of you. Our paper’s revenue comes from those events, and that stream violently dried up over the last week. Seven days ago, our parent company Euclid Media Group (EMG) asked CL to lay off seven of 12 staffers (plus part-timers) in order to keep the paper afloat. Six other EMG papers in Orlando, San Antonio, St. Louis, Cleveland, Cincinnati and Detroit are also running skeleton crews. Having to say goodbye to my friends and coworkers—who all love Tampa Bay as much as I do, perhaps more—made for the worst day of work I’ve ever had. The remaining five staffers are doing everything we can to bring our friends back to CL all while keeping the public up-to-date on a coronavirus pandemic that is the scariest thing we’ve collectively seen in our lifetimes. We’re also being asked to do it while working from home. We’re sequestered next to dirty piles of laundry and living among bowls with bakedon black beans on them because we’d like to do our part in the community’s collective effort to practice social distancing. Public health officials define social distancing as measures taken to restrict when and where people can gather to stop or slow the spread of infectious diseases like COVID-19 (which is what you get when you contract the highly-contagious novel coronavirus). Social distancing measures include limiting large groups of people coming together, closing buildings and canceling events. We wish our elected officials would order an official stay-at-home mandate, too. Because staying home will save lives. Social distancing does that by flattening a curve which lives on a chart that shows when a surge of new coronavirus cases are expected to strike. The chart explains why slowing the spread of the infection is nearly as important as stopping it. The high-peaked curve represents a wave of coronavirus outbreaks in the near term; the flatter one shows a gradual rate of infection (the latter is possible when you stay home.) Our
DYLAN MELCHER
It’s sequester season, people.
SHUT IT DOWN: Even Armature Works, a motor of South Tampa Heights social life, went dark to help fight the novel coronavirus. healthcare system cannot handle a high-peaked curve. That system is currently powered by the healthcare workers without proper protection, all risking their lives to care for coronavirus patients. Doctors, nurses and caregives will contract COVID-19 and be unable to help. If the situation gets dire (read: not enough healthcare workers to care for the sick), choices about which patients die, and which ones live, will have to be made. We don’t want that to happen. On Monday, the number of coronavirus cases in Florida climbed over 1,000. By the time you read this in print, that number will be much higher. Next week, it’ll climb some more. For many, the idea of staying home is emotional. Isolation sucks. Social distancing is hard. It can lead to depression. This paper is currently a shell of what it was because of social distancing. Thanks to social distancing, my friends are going to bed thinking about stories for a rag they don’t work for anymore.
I fucking hate social distancing. But empathy is hard, too. Merriam-Webster defines empathy as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.” In our current situation, empathy involves thinking about all the lives you’re hurting—and the lives we’ll lose—by not social distancing. Think of how irresponsible it is to suggest that now is not the time for drastic action to help keep people at home. As I sent this to our printer, CL’s Digital Editor Colin Wolf published a very healthy argument for why the government needs to tell us to stay at home (read it by flipping a few pages). His editorial is a little shouty, and it has to be, because too few elected officials—and not enough of our community—are listening to science right now.
“Empathy takes energy because everyone feels like you.”
In a Facebook Live press conference on Monday, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor showed frustration in Hillsborough County opting to delay a countywide stay-at-home order, and said “the longer you wait, the longer it’s going to take to recover.” She added that “if we don’t act now, people are going to die. We’ve seen it already happen in other countries.” She’s right, and that’s why her team spent their weekend working together with officials on a stay-at-home policy. On Monday, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman said he’d issue a citywide stay-at-home order if the governor fails to act. Both leaders are working to protect their constituents. Castor and Kriseman are doing so because they can imagine what it’s going to be like for us to watch our friends, family and neighbors get sick—and possibly die—as a result of their elected officials not acting quickly enough. For so many, life is so social. Empathy— imagining what it feels like to be someone else navigating this coronavirus mess—takes energy, because everyone feels like you. But that’s life, and we must preserve it. So stay home.
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Silent Sláinte Photos by Dylan Melcher
U
nless you were at one of those Irish bars that got shut down at 5 p.m., then your St. Patrick’s Day probably looked a lot like these snaps Tampa Bay filmmaker and photographer Dylan Melcher took last week in Tampa Heights and downtown, which looked like a ghost town in the days after the concern around, and economic consquences of, the coronavirus pandemic started to get very real. See the rest of the pictures via photos.cltampa.com —Ray Roa
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INFORMED DISSENT POLITICS
ISSUES
OPINION
Go grab the pitchforks, everyone. By Jeffrey C. Billman
T
o write about politics is to become jaded. Time and time again, you watch people you admire disappoint you and idealism get overwhelmed by the seductive cocktail of power, ego, and money. This was always true. But it’s especially true in the Trump era, when the president has turned bad faith into both an art form and standard operating procedure. And it takes an exceptional kind of venality to pierce the armor of numbness and provoke seething, go-grab-thepitchforks rage. Let’s talk about Senator Richard Burr, R-North Carolina. On February 3, Burr and Senator Lamar Alexander wrote an op-ed for Fox News, saying that while Americans are “rightly concerned” about the coronavirus, “Thankfully, the United States today is better prepared than ever before to face emerging public health threats, like the coronavirus, in large part due to the work of the Senate Health Committee, Congress, and the Trump Administration.” The last two months have shown that the administration was anything but prepared. The U.S. is still playing catch-up on tests, states are begging for ventilators, and hospitals are pleading for protective equipment. Most important, the country didn’t implement social-distancing and quarantine measures early enough to contain the virus’s spread when it could have. Now, we’re on track to look more like Italy than South Korea. No president could have stopped the coronavirus from reaching American soil. But you can fairly lay the blame for our current mad scramble to avoid calamity at Trump’s feet. Throughout January and February, the president consistently downplayed the increasingly obvious threat, insisting that everything was under control even as top-secret intelligence briefings showed that disaster loomed. That Trump now wants to retcon history doesn’t change the reality that the administration’s failure to take COVID-19 seriously will likely cost thousands of lives. But when you elect a clown, you expect a
circus, and when you elect a narcissistic buffoon from reality television, you expect incompetence. But Burr, as chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, was privy to classified briefings on how bad things were about to get. While Trump was gaslighting the American people to prop up the stock market, Burr could have warned them about the incoming pandemic and forced the administration to confront it head-on. Instead, 10 days after co-authoring that rosy op-ed on how prepared the federal government was for COVID-19, Burr sold most of his stock portfolio in 33 transactions totaling between $628,000 and $1.7 million, ProPublica reported last Thursday. Included in that sale were up to $250,000 worth of shares of hospitality companies that shed more than half their value when the market began to tank a week later. On February 27, Burr told a group of well-heeled donors and business elites that shit was about to hit the fan—travel bans, school shutdowns, military hospitals, the whole thing. “There’s one thing that I can tell you about this: [The coronavirus] is much more aggressive in its transmission than anything that we have seen in recent history,” Burr told them in a private meeting. NPR obtained a recording and published it last Thursday. At a press conference that same day, Trump promised Americans it would soon be over: “When you have 15 [cases] and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero, that’s a pretty good job we’ve done.” Burr, who damn well knew better, didn’t say a word. By Sunday evening, the U.S. had nearly 33,000 documented COVID-19 cases, behind only China and Italy, and more than 400 deaths. Those numbers will likely double within three to six days. It’s estimated that more than 3 million people filed for unemployment last week—including more than 80,000 from Burr’s home state—and the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis told Bloomberg News this weekend that unemployment could reach 30% by June. That’s Great Depression territory. Adding insult to injury, Burr and his
“Burr knew enough to look out for his own interests, which means he knew enough to look out for yours.”
UNITED STATES CONGRESS
How to profit from the plague
COLD AS ICE: Burr isn’t the only U.S. Senator to apparently sell off stocks based on inside information. Republican colleagues tried to ram through a $1.8 trillion stimulus package that allocates $50 billion, few strings attached, to bail out the airline industry and creates a $425 billion slush fund for the Treasury Department to give to whomever it deems fit—quite possibly, Trump’s friends and family. Republicans then got the vapors when Democrats objected. In a better world, Burr would have not only been forced to resign by now, but he’d be staring down an ignominious frogmarch in a shiny new set of silver bracelets, too. As it is, neither of those things is likely. On Friday, Burr asked the do-nothing Senate Ethics Committee to review his actions instead, allowing time for the storm to pass, as it always does in the age of Trump. Besides, he’s not the only one to apparently act on inside information. Newly appointed Georgia senator Kelly Loeffler and her husband, who runs the New York Stock Exchange, dumped millions of dollars in stocks after a private January 24 briefing on the coronavirus
to the Senate Health Committee; she also purchased shares in Citrix, which offers telework software. Burr is also on that committee. Both he and Loeffler deny they engaged in insider trading or violated the STOCK Act, the 2012 law barring members of Congress from using nonpublic information to trade shares; Burr was one of only three senators to vote against it. Burr says he based his decision on publicly available information. (Relatedly, I have some pristine Florida swampland to sell you.) Loeffler says her family’s portfolio is managed by a third party, and she didn’t know about the sale until weeks later. (Also for sale: the Brooklyn Bridge.) Here is the bottom line: Burr knew enough to look out for his own interests, which means he knew enough to look out for yours. But he chose not to—not with human lives or the entire economy on the line. Anyone have a pitchfork I can borrow? @jeffreybillman
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 11
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Tampa Bay needs a stay-at-home order—period. By Colin Wolf
O
n Monday, coronavirus cases in Florida climbed over 1,000, and to mark this historically awful occasion the state’s largest newspaper issued a big wet op-ed telling local leaders in Tampa Bay to calm down and refrain from anything drastic, like issuing a stay-athome order. Of course, the piece, titled “Why would Tampa Bay need a stay-at-home order?” lists no real facts on why we shouldn’t work a little harder to stop the spread of this worldwide pandemic, other than we should be nice to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and we need to remember to respect each other’s personal liberties. Calling it now, this will go down as one of the dumbest headlines in recent Florida history, which is saying a lot considering the fact that one of Florida’s largest exports is world-renown dumb headlines. So, let’s run down a few of the points the Tampa Bay Times Editorial board attempts to lob at its readers. “As the number of coronavirus cases rise in Florida and Tampa Bay, state and local officials should avoid an emotional response and be clear-eyed about the impact of further restrictions. There are a number of variables to consider before issuing sweeping stay-at-home orders, and while public health ranks at the top the impact of further restrictions on families, businesses and the economy cannot be ignored. This new normal is going to evolve over months rather than days, and a knee-jerk reaction to the news of the minute could have more severe long-term consequences than any potential benefit.” The article actually starts with this assumption that everyone (state officials, city commissioners, the media, etc.) is somehow operating on pure ignorance and ignoring important data. No one is doing that, including reporters at the Times. In fact, we have plenty of data that suggests we should act preemptively to curb the coronavirus pandemic. What we don’t have is enough test kits. “Gov. Ron DeSantis has been unfairly criticized on cable news and social media for his methodical approach to gradually implementing statewide restrictions as governors in New York, California and Illinois have issued sweeping stay-at-home orders.” No, he deserves all of it. Last week, DeSantis actually said he doesn’t think it’s necessary to ratchet up any statewide orders because he literally saw a couple guys on the golf course not shaking hands and riding in their golf carts by themselves. That’s real data right there, folks.
Meanwhile, beaches remained packed even after counties began shutting them down, and residents in The Villages refused to get out of their own overly-packed community pools. “In fact, Florida’s governor has struck a reasonable balance. He has spoken regularly and frankly to Floridians about expanding testing and acquiring medical supplies, and he has appropriately expressed concern about overbearing, statewide restrictions that would impact the physical and mental health of families and inflict more harm on a state economy that already is being devastated. ‘For every action,’ DeSantis said Monday morning, ‘there is a reaction.’” It’s wild that the Times Editorial Board presents this quote like DeSantis is some sort of galaxy-brained super genius. True, “for every action, there’s a reaction” and, for every nonaction, the pandemic gets worse. “It’s understandable that Miami-Dade and Broward counties have implemented more restrictions than Tampa Bay and the rest of the state. South Florida has the largest concentration of coronavirus cases, which have climbed to more than 1,100 statewide. But some 20 Florida counties do not have a single case. DeSantis said Monday that test kits are becoming more available and test sites are expanding, so the number of reported cases will continue to rise.” This might be the worst take in the whole piece. The bottom line is we don’t have enough tests. How do you know that there are counties without cases when they haven’t been tested? According to the Tampa Bay Times, only 13,000 people have been tested in a state with over 21 million people. Wishing for tests is one thing, knowing your state is chugging along with undiagnosed carriers, and acting like everyone is healthy and fine, is just plain stupid and dangerous. “Hillsborough and Pinellas county commissioners, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor and St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman should proceed with caution as they consider whether to issue stay-at-home orders. Bars and restaurants are closed. Schools and universities are closed. State parks and beaches are closed. Employees of many businesses are working from home. Where is the data that would justify tougher restrictions that would surely leave more families without paychecks and could create more panic and hoarding? How would more restrictions be more effective than continuing to promote social distancing?”
EDITORIAL
RON DESANTIS/FLICKR
Bad take
HOT THOUGHTS: Then gubernatorial candidate Ron DeSantis getting in the spirit with supporters. We’ve already witnessed what happens when “doing his best,” like he’s a little kid who just stricter lockdowns are ordered in other coun- built his own pinewood derby car. Look, if we’re tries like China and Italy. While drastic, these not getting help from above, don’t you think measures have curbed the rise of new trans- it’s the moral responsibility of local leaders to missions. This data exists! Just suggesting to step up? people that “practice social distancing,” is all we “Of course, the best way for Tampa Bay to need, doesn’t cut it. If you walked into a Publix avoid more sweeping government restrictions is right now and asked 10 people to define “social for residents to act responsibly. Follow the existdistancing,” you would get 10 different answers. ing restrictions. Practice social distancing. Don’t “If Tampa Bay officials are determined to hoard food and supplies. Be particularly mindful implement more local restrictions on businesses of the elderly and other vulnerable populations. and movement, it would have to be a regional Getting through this pandemic will require a approach. Thousands of residents each day com- collective effort. The more Floridians meet their mute between Pasco, Pinellas and Hillsborough individual obligations for the common good, the counties. Even more unworkable would be a less need there will be for more sweeping governsituation where the ment intervention.” Hillsborough County The board calls for a “collective effort” from Commission decides everyone to stop the against a stay-at-home spread of coronavirus, order and Castor decides to impose one in the city of but not “collective” like Tampa. This is one comin the sense of more government, “collective” like, we all mind meld and munity, and there has to be one set of rules.” Do you honestly think people would still be just get on the same page for the first time in commuting here if everything is closed? Literally human existence. less than an hour after this piece was posted, This certainly is a classic libertarian wet the Times also published another article titled dream. “‘Huge amounts’ of New Yorkers flocking to Personal responsibility will not stop a panFlorida, Gov. DeSantis says in refusing lock demic. The recent influx of spring breakers down.” How the hell is this not an argument to proved this point. If it was up to the Times close everything down? Why would they come Editorial Board we would all just sit back and here if absolutely nothing is open? trust that Jake and Chad from Ohio State are “It’s natural that county commissioners and respectfully chugging beers from a distance of mayors feel pressure to take more action. This six-feet apart. is uncharted territory, and there is not nearly The threat is real, and the consequences enough leadership, vision or help coming from of inaction are real. And, thankfully, not all Washington. The governors, mayors and local local leaders are buying into this “head in the officials are doing their best to fill the void. But sand” ethos. their decisions have long-term consequences, In a Facebook Live press conference today, and they should act on facts rather than emo- Tampa Mayor Jane Castor showed frustration tion. And if they enact a stay at home order, they in Hillsborough County opting to delay a countyshould be crystal clear with the public about the wide stay-at-home order, and said “the longer specific details.” you wait, the longer it’s going to take to recover,” This point actually eats itself. It’s sort of a adding “if we don’t act now, people are going coronavirus ouroboros. Here the Times Editorial to die. We’ve seen it already happen in other Board acknowledges that we aren’t getting direc- countries.” tion on the federal level, and that DeSantis is Agreed.
“How do you know that there are counties without cases when they haven’t been tested?”
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Different strokes
A Tampa Bay church ‘reverse-tithed’ $3,500 to local business and nonprofits. By Ray Roa
O
churches they were a part of. Siegmund was fired from her position as a professor at Lakeland’s Southeastern University, which calls itself a “Christ-centered institution of higher learning,” and even had her ordination revoked by her past employers. They asked local pastors—including Andy Oliver, Preson “Tommy” Phillips, and Justin Woodall—for guidance. After that, they started to look for financial support and quickly realized it would take a core group of friends to fund their mission. “The congregants want the pastors to tell them what they already say they believe, nothing more. And doing so earns you a tithe check. Which means doing something different earns you dismissal, and even criticism,” Haas wrote about the often “closed loop” of evangelical churches. He added that more than one potential donor refused to be a part of anything that granted the LGBT community equality or questioned the traditional American evangelical interpretation of scriptures. “We were met with many, ‘I just can’t support something I don’t agree with, statements,” Haas wrote. The non-denominational Different Church doesn’t necessarily expect its followers to do so, but most churches teach that members should give 10% of their money to the church. “We try and teach a posture of generosity,” Haas said. “We feel like if people are expected to give 10%, then the church should certainly do it too.” In addition to Punky’s, Reach and St. Pete Free Clinic, Different has also given to Metro Inclusive Health and Jason Sowell’s Current of Tampa Bay. In its bylaws, the church—which was meeting at the St. Pete Opera before the coronavirus put the ixnay on public gatherings— describes itself as “a community of questioners committed to exploring faith in Jesus Christ, love for our neighbor, and inclusion for all… and a safe space for people of every race, ethnicity, economic situation, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, background, and belief to discover faith and experience community.” Its website boldly promises to be financially
DRUNK CAMERA GUY
ne of Different Church’s core beliefs is that it should “reverse tithe,” or give 10% off all money collected back to the community. Leaders are already putting that practice into action. “We’ve been saving our 2020 funds for a big Easter reveal, but the coronavirus had other plans for us and our community needs help now more than ever,” Jarrett Haas, who co-founded Different Church with his friend Hannah Siegmund, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. So on March 18, the church put $3,500 back into the neighborhood by leaving a $1,000 tip at Punky’s Bar & Grill. It also donated $1,500 and $1,000 to Reach St. Pete and the St. Pete Free Clinic and Food Bank, respectively. Punky’s—a gay-friendly St. Pete favorite— was one of Different Church’s original meeting spots, and members have grown close to the staff. Like all restaurants in the Tampa Bay area, Punky’s is operating at 50% of its normal capacity. “That means the servers are living on minimal tips,” Haas, 38, added. “We gave Punky’s a $1,000 tip to be evenly distributed to its 20 employees, which should equate to about a week’s worth of groceries.” Punky’s is also where Haas and Siegmund—a 30-year-old pastor who was raised in the Pentecostal tradition—started bonding over discussions about how the evangelical church needed to evolve. Together, they dreamed of what a different type of church would be. They wanted to create one that was modern in its movements, but didn’t feel the need to operate like an evangelical-startup obsessed with tracking salvation on a scorecard. It would need to move beyond being accepting and progressive by abandoning hurtful “don’t ask don’t tell” policy towards many things. Haas—who was raised in the Methodist tradition—and Siegmund wanted to honor the intent of the biblical writers when they wrote their statements of faith, but understood that they had to view everything through the lens of love. “What if the spiritual life is more subtle than repeating a prayer?,” Haas told CL in an email. “What if it’s about a transformed way of life?” So Siegmund and Haas quit their jobs at the
LOCAL NEWS
“We were met with many, ‘I just can’t support something I don’t agree with statements.”
SIX DEGREES: Different Church members stand six-inches apart at Punky’s; the congregation’s beliefs are even further from evangelical tradition. transparent and responsible while working to ensure that every penny donated works towards creating change in the world. At the moment, none of the donations go towards staffing; Different Church hopes to change that soon. Operations eats at 60% of the budget since the church didn’t even have its first meeting until
March 1. Another 30% is dumped into the community through service projects. “We’re encouraging those among us who have questions about the faith we were given,” Haas said. “We hope to be a place for those who don’t feel like they fit in to the evangelical machine.”
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 15
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QUARTERS BACK: A Tampa nonprofit is paying for families’ laundry during the coronavirus crisis.
Hope loads
Laundry Project continues to help families stay clean in tough times. By Ray Roa
I
n the summer of 2018, Jason Sowell told CL about how modern interpretations of a certain son of a carpenter weren’t what he perceived that person to be. “The mass of society in his day were not flocking to Jesus because he was telling them what was wrong with them and why they were going to hell,” Sowell, founder of the nonprofit Current Initiatives, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “They were flocking to him because he gave value to the disvalued, hope to the hopeless, fed people that were hungry, hugged people who were untouched because of disease, preached equality to the injustice of discrimination, and healed people that were broken.” So, in a city where one pastor says he will cure Florida of coronavirus, Sowell—who’s got a B.S. in Church Ministries from Trinity Baptist College in Jacksonville—will once again try to find a way to make actions speak louder than words. “Over the past few weeks our mantra has become ‘Do what you can,’ especially as things change on a daily basis” Sowell said in a video announcing new outreach from Current Initiative’s Laundry Project. “Clean laundry is a health and wellness issue that affects mental and physical states.” Starting March 25, Current, together with the City of Tampa, is spending six weeks at four different Tampa laundromats paying for the laundry of needy community members—plus hospitality workers left without jobs—in this time of unprecedented trouble and uncertainty. The locations are Seminole Heights Laundromat (103 W. Osborne Ave.), Ybor City’s Bay Laundromat (5030 E 10th Ave.) plus two Big Wash locations in West Tampa (1724 W. Main St.) and Sulphur Springs (908 E. Waters Ave.) Families interested in washing must
pre-registered through Current partner organizations like Urban Young Life, Locale Church, King State, Commune & co., via Current’s website. The washes will last four hours, and time slots will be assigned to pre-registered families. Gloved volunteers will start the machines for families using quarters or a phone app. Depending on the size of the laundromat no more than five to eight families will be allowed in the laundromat per hour; just 20 individuals, including Current volunteers, will be allowed in the building. For safety, no children or people over 60 years old will be allowed, and Current is encouraging customers to wait in their vehicles after starting their machines for the duration of the wash and dry cycles. Families may be limited as far as the number of loads they can do, depending on the capacity of machines on site. Every other week of the initiative will include an extra day for hospitality workers. “We will leave enough time in between for the occasional random walk-up family if needed and accepted on a case-by-case basis,” Sowell wrote in a plan outlining the project. A laundromat employee or Current volunteer will be on-site with sanitizer to wipe down all door handles and touched surfaces throughout the projects. Each location will be staffed by city officials for crowd control, and the dates aren’t being announced to prevent crowds—families, including hospitality, must register in advance to wash their clothes for free. Sowell, hopes to do the same thing in St. Petersburg, but he needs some help right away. That’s why he’s got a crowdfunding campaign going online where good samaritans can sponsor a load ($10), family ($25), supplies ($200) or a full project $1,000. More information is at give.classy.org/ covidlp.
GOOD SHIT
“Clean laundry is a health and wellness issue.”
16 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
Shit Happened THURSDAY 19
SATURDAY 21 KEIR MAGOULAS/VISIT TAMPA BAY
Tampa’s TECO Streetcar is reducing service now that downtown is about as busy as it was back in ‘96. Good news is that it’ll always have you home before midnight. Reports say pools in The Villages were forced to close because boomers ignored rules on social distancing. Boomers gonna boom though, amirite?
Tom Brady officially signs his two-year, $60 million contract with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Season ticket prices immediately rise, but the joy of landing the GOAT is enough to make diehard fans that they’ve been wiping their asses with coffee filters for the last week.
TOMBRADY/INSTAGRAM
FRIDAY 20
Gov. Ron DeSantis says that state officials are looking at the possibility of putting people who test positive for the coronavirus in facilities such as hotels to help prevent them from spreading the virus to family members. This is starting to feel like a zombie movie.
SUNDAY 22
WFLA reports that six University of Tampa students tested positive for COVID-19. Five were traveling with other UT students during spring break before testing positive. Boomers ain’t the only ones boomin’, apparently. Shit keeps on happening, and we keep writing about it in real time via cltampa.com/news.
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Re-dux reinvention
HOUSING CRISIS: Proper House Group’s Ferrell Alvarez is working seven days a week to rehire laid off employees.
said that one of the Rooster servers he let go had been working with him for more than 10 years, since his days at Cafe Dufrain. “We unfortunately had no means to provide a severance,” Alvarez told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “Our focus is to sustain our company so the employees we had to let go have something to come back to eventually rather than sustain them for two months and cannibalize ourselves all in all.” So now Alvarez, his partners and the By Ray Roa remaining management staff—which is now or the past two days, chef Ferrell Alvarez and being paid a fixed amount per shift—are doing his partners at Proper House Group have everything they can to bring each employee back analyzed every penny coming in and going under the Proper House roof. Starting Thursday, out of their four Tampa Bay restaurants. His Proper House Group is turning Rooster & the group, like others locally, has been hit hard by Till—located at 6500 N. Florida Ave.—into the a global coronavirus pandemic that threatens hub for an operation that will deliver items the livelihoods of countless cooks, bartenders, from three concepts—Rooster, Nebraska Miniservers and dishwashers Mart and Gallito. The worldwide. new endeavor is dubbed “We’ve been looking “Rooster Re-Dux.” “Rooster Re-Dux” at everything, arguing, The meals will be Rooster & the Till agreeing and crying as delivered directly to 6500 N. Florida Ave., Tampa 11 a.m.-6 p.m. seven days a week, $3-$20 we try to make the most customers via curbside 813-374-8940; roosterandthetill.com sound decision for everypickup, meal delivery one on our payroll,” Alvarez, 41, told Creative apps like UberEats and GrubHub plus direct Loafing Tampa Bay. “There’s a lot of uncertainty, from Proper House team members themselves. but we need to be leaders, and try to make sure “We’re still working on the radius, but if this company and its employees can make it you’ve ever wanted me to deliver food directly through the storm.” to your door, I am doing it,” Alvarez said, adding Alvarez’s pain comes from the news he deliv- that his Proper House Partners—Ty Rodriguez ered to 41 employees who learned, this week, and Chon Nguyen will also hand-deliver food. that they are being laid off from Proper House Even the partners’ wives—who manage national Group restaurants including Seminole Heights’ retail chains and marketing for food tech comBest of the Bay-winning Rooster & the Till and panies—are helping run food in their vehicles. Nebraska Mini-Mart, plus downtown Tampa and “Our goal with this initiative is not to make Lakeland locations of Alvarez’s Gallito taqueria. money as a restaurant. We’re looking to build Before the layoff, Proper House was home to 53 revenue in this unique way because it’s our employees—not including ownership. Alvarez responsibility to do everything we can in order
Ferrell Alvarez laid off 41 employees, then launched plan to bring them back ‘one-by-one.’
F
FOOD NEWS
to provide some sort of income for the employees we had to lay off,” Alvarez said, adding that he’s been inspired by the approach taken by chef Brady Williams. The James Beardwinner recently changed Seattle restaurant Canlis, into a drive-thru, curbside operation in response to the way coronavirus has swept through Washington state. “Brady is one of the most talented chefs in the world, and he basically said, ‘Fine dining isn’t what Seattle needs right now. He switched to making simple and approachable meals that can be picked up on the fly with minimal contact,” Alvarez explained. In a post announcing the change, Canlis wrote, “This is one idea for safely creating jobs for our employees while serving as much of the city as we can.” “The Canlis model spoke to me because it offers a way for Proper House to create an unofficial severance for our people who are without work at the moment,” Alvarez told CL. “My hope is that what we’re doing catches fire in Tampa and people go out of their way to support this effort, which will directly support the people we laid off—Proper House desperately needs to bring our laid off employees back one-by-one somehow. This could be a great approach if it’s embraced by the community.” Alvarez told CL that the quality from his other restaurants would obviously be packed into each delivery and meal, but that his team isn’t trying to reinvent the culinary wheel. “We’re trying to give Tampa Bay a proper meal in an affordable and timely manner,” Alvarez said, citing the fact that Canlis’ new menu is made up of just four items: a burger or veggie melt with fries, a salad, an ice cream
sandwich, and a citrus soda. Alvarez told CL that the delivery hours will be from 11 a.m.-9 p.m. seven days a week. You can even call Rooster & the Till (813-374-8940) to place an order. The Rooster meal is priced at $20 a person. It’ll include a cucumber-tomato herbed salad, and ask diners to choose between Rooster’s famous short-rib gnocchi or roast chicken thighs served with cauliflower and twice-fried potato wedges. Dessert will be double chocolate chip cookies. Alvarez said that the Rooster team may also be able to make something on the regular menu depending on ingredient availability. By 4 p.m. on Rooster Re-Dux’s first day open, the kitchen had taken over 60 orders. “Some were very very large, Alvarez told CL. “The response is very encouraging.” “We want to make customers happy; we’re going to be flexible and do the best we can because it’s the right thing to do,” he added. “Mix and match what you want, we want to make it happen.” Items from the Nebraska Mini-Mart include the bulgogi Korean cheesesteak with kimchi and gochujang mayo, the fried chicken sandwich, and the vegetarian-friendly sloppy Joe nachos. Gallito lovers who frequent the Sparkman Wharf and Lakeland Joinery locations can choose from four different tacos, street corn and street corn and Masienda tortillas chips with a choice of guacamole or queso (menu is available below.) “I’m not necessarily trying to reinvent the culinary wheel here, and I’m not trying to win awards” Alvarez, who’s been nominated for a James Beard (Best Chef South 2017), told CL. “I’m just trying to do right by our employees, who we view as family, and I need to do everything I can to get them back.”
“I need to do everything I can to get our employees back.”
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 19
Pizza is in your future—and we don’t mean the frozen kind! We’re making it easier than ever to support our local Tampa Bay area restaurants right now. To take advantage of Pizza Week, stop in at any participating restaurant and ask for the Pizza Week special. For take out and delivery, check out Slice online at slicelife.com or download the Slice app to place orders at participating locations!
32 | MARCH 26 - APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com 20 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
DUNEDIN
cltampa.com | MARCH 26 - APRIL 1, 2020 | 33 cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 21
22 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
HHHH½
Olivia Chef Chris Ponte’s latest venture (pictured below) is an upscale Italian trattoria in South Tampa showing the care and thoughtfulness of a chef at the top of his game. An all-star on the menu is the Bucatini, which leads your tastes buds on an tangled adventure filled with smoked guanciale nuggets from tender pork cheeks, and plenty of sharp black pepper for pungency to balance the creamy carbonara sauce. Be prepared for a wait, even with a reservation. 3601 W. Swann Ave., Tampa. oliviatampa.com
HHHH
Rox Rooftop Bar The most sweeping panoramic view of Tampa Bay of any watering hole in the region comes with carefully crafted cocktails at this indoor-outdoor bar. Along with the unparalleled views and splendid sips, the food matches the high standard with eats like a citrus grilled achiote shrimp taco topped with shreds of cabbage and pickled kohlrabi, plus some heat from jalapeño, and minced cilantro make for a flavorful combo. You’d need to be a pelican or osprey to get a better view. Current Hotel, 2545 N. Rocky Point Dr., Tampa. thecurrenthotel.com
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Old School Bar and Grill Stocked with TVs, giant Jenga and live music, this South Tampa restaurant serves classic bar food. If you’re a corndog fan, go for the six hand-dipped miniwagyu beef corn dogs the size of fat skewered golf balls. The juicy dogs have layered beefy flavor highlighted by corn batter that’s not at all grainy. 2202 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. oldschoolbars.com
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Barterhouse Ybor City’s new show-stopper has a seasonal menu that focuses on approachable but elevated fare. The Fresh Florida fish (black grouper) wows, constructed of a luscious filet sitting on creamy cauliflower purée topped with shaved crisp Brussels sprouts and bacon surrounded by herb vinaigrette. A perfect quenelle of golden caper pistou with citrus adds a scrumptious grace note. 1811 N. 15th St., Suite A, Ybor City. barterhouseybor.com
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Psomi The Greek restaurant aims to please from menu offerings to decor. Psomi’s burger is terrific. A short rib-sirloin mix with some Greek spices sits on crisp butter lettuce atop a brioche bun. It’s bathed in piquant kefalograviera cheese béchamel which drips down the sides onto the plate. Don’t leave without sliding by the drool-worthy display of stunning Greek pastries. 701 N. Howard Ave., Tampa. eatpsomi.com
HHH½
Jon Palmer Claridge is the Bay area’s longest running food critic and dines anonymously when reviewing. Visit cltampa.com/food to see an explanation of his rating system, his Top 50 Tampa restaurants of 2019 and read his new book, "Drink. More. Wine!"
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Counter Culture James Beard-nominated chef Jeannie Pierola has outdone herself with her latest concept, Counter Culture, in Tampa. Our critic gushes over the menu and decor, while marveling at Pierola’s attention to detail. According to JPC, you’re safe ordering anything, but make sure to start with the tuna tartare appetizer, which he says is simply perfection. 2909 W. Bay to Bay no. 100, Tampa. cc-tampa.com
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cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 23
NICOLE ABBETT
COUNT ON ‘EM: Pacific Counter management has not only retained employees, but continues to serve St. Petersburg fresh poke.
Make a food baby Tampa Bay restaurants still offering takeout or delivery.
By Alexis Chamberlain and Ray Roa
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irst thing: This two-page list represents just a slice of what’s still available for pickup and delivery across the Tampa Bay area. So visit cltampa.com/food to see the most updated and completely fleshed out version. Also, tip the shit out of the waitstaff if you can, and don’t go on Yelp to complain. We’re all busting our asses off out here. 4 Rivers Smokehouse All locations have pop-up drive thru. Orders happening online, over the phone and via the 4 Rivers app. 844-474-8377. 4rsmokehouse.com Bake’n Babes Delivery only. Salted chocolate chip cookies and Sleazy Brownies on Ubereats. Bogo on chocolate chip cookies starting March 23rd for one week. Contactless delivery available. 1701 N. Franklin St., Tampa. 813-405-4008.
24 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
bakenbabes.com Bella’s Italian Café The South Tampa staple is on DoorDash and operating a massive curbside pickup operation, which means you can add meatballs to your confetti spaghetti—or make a carbonara food baby—until the closures are lifted. 1413 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-2543355. bellasitaliancafe.com BellaBrava Takeout and delivery. Take-out only special: buy one pasta dish, get a second free. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 204 Beach Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. 727-895-5515. bellabrava.com Byblos Curbside carryout, 25% off all menu items when using curbside carryout, no coupon or code required. You can also order delivery through UberEats, Grubhub and DoorDash. 2832 S. MacDill Ave, Tampa. 813-805-7977. byblostampa.com Cafe Dufrain Takeout. Purchase $50 in take out and receive a $10 gift card good for all three HI Restaurant Group establishments: Cafe Dufrain, Watervue Grille and Cry Baby Cafe all on Harbour Island. 707 Harbour Post Dr., Tampa. 813-275-9701. cafedufrain.com Cafe Hey Take out. 15% off of call-in take out orders over $50. Curbside pickup available.
1540 N. Franklin St., Tampa. 813-221-5150. cafehey.com Cask Social Kitchen Takeout and delivery. Special menu available. Kids eat free with purchase of each adult meal on orders placed directly with the restaurant over the phone. Other eligible offers include 20% off total order (cannot be combined with other offers). Delivery available through DoorDash and GrubHub. Curbside pickup available. 208 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813251-0051. casksocial.com Cider Press Cafe Takeout and delivery. Mini menu available. $30 takeout minimum. Buy 3 pastries, get 4th free. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available via Bite Squad. 601 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-914-7222. ciderpresscafe.com Craftsman House Takeout. Sandwiches, wraps, salads, soups, sweets, coffee and espresso bar, beer, wine and smoothies. Curbside pickup available. 2955 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-323-2787. craftsmanhousegallery.com Deck Pizza Takeout and delivery. Participating in Tampa Bay Pizza Week with $4.99 two slices of pizza and a Coke. 2202 W. Platt St., Tampa. 813-375-0753. deck-pizza.com Dunedin Brewery Good news, Pinellas, you can
TAKEOUT
still get some of the best wings in the county, along with tallboys, 32 oz. crowlers and assorted 16 oz. singles when you call-in and pickup at this small town staple. No walk up ordering at all. 37 Douglas Ave, Dunedin. 727-736-0606. dunedinbrewery.com Dunedin Smokehouse Takeout and delivery. Catering and beer and wine package sales available. Delivery via UberEats. Open 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days. 100% of tips received will be given to the staff out of work. 471 Main St., Dunedin. 727-736-2227. thedunedinsmokehouse.com Flames Indian Cuisine Takeout and delivery. 15% off all orders. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2601 S. MacDill Ave, Tampa. 813-252-8069. flamestampa.com Gourmet Pizza Company Takeout and delivery. Free Breadsticks with any 16” pizza, $5 off $30 or more, $10 off $65 or more, $2 off any two 10” pizzas (excludes gluten-free crusts). Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 610 S. Armenia Ave., Tampa. 813-258-1999. gourmetpizza-company.com Irish 31 Pub House & Eatery Takeout menu for delivery via UberEats or takeout for curbside pickup. Neighborhood Market menu available with staples such as bread, cheese and of course, toilet paper. Beer, wine, and liquor to-go
DAVE DECKER
NEW AGAIN: New World Brewery just re-opened, and it’s already had to rethink the business model. available for a limited time. Multiple locations. irish31.com Jackson’s Bistro, Bar & Sushi “Fast Jack’s” takeout menu and premade protein bowls, salads, burgers, and chicken sandwiches available. Curbside pickup available. 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days. 601 S. Harbour Island Blvd., Tampa. 813277-0112. jacksonsbistro.com Lee’s Grocery Takeout. Stone baked pizza, wings and craft beer. Participating in Tampa Bay Pizza week with $10 all 10” specialty pizzas. 2210 N. Central Ave., Tampa. 813-374-0179. leesgrocery.com Maple Street Biscuit Company Takeout and delivery. Curbside pickup available. 662 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 757-353-0944. maplestreetbiscuits.co Meat Market Takeout and delivery. 15% off any order of $50 or more. Alcohol and wine for purchase available for takeout. Curbside pickup available. 1606 W. Snow Ave., Tampa. 813-2801113. meatmarket.net Moon Under Water Limited take out menu available. 332 Beach Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. 727-869-6160. themoonunderwater.com Mr. Dunderbak’s Biergarten Takeout. All meals and beer served in single use containers. Only credit cards will be accepted. 11:30 a.m. to 8 p.m.
7 days. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-977-4104. dunderbaks.com Nature’s Food Patch Market & Café Takeout for deli and delivery for grocery via Instacart. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. Multiple locations. naturesfoodpatch.com New World Brewery The recently-reopened live music and beer hub takes to-go orders on food and booze, which means you can have the world famous New World pizzas (our favorites are the Ground Control and “Dark Side Of the Moon”) along with chef Mike’s mac ‘n’ cheese and more in the comfort of home. 810 E. Skagway Ave., Tampa. 813-304-0460. newworldtampa.com Oggi Italian Cafe and Wine Bar Takeout and delivery. Free golf cart delivery to Davis Islands residents. Free delivery to all others via UberEats. 236 E. Davis Blvd., Tampa. 813252-7778. oggiitalian.com Outback Steakhouse Takeout and delivery. Free delivery through April 30th. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 3403 Henderson Blvd., Tampa. 813-875-4329. outback.com Pacific Counter Takeout and delivery. Mainland mix of coastal classics in the form of sushi bowls and sushi burritos. 660 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-440-7008. pacificcounter.com
Parlor House Bistro Take out. 15% off entire menu, plus beer, wine and cocktails to go. 1757 Main St., Dunedin. 727-754-3978. parlorhousebistro.com Psomi Pre-orders of baked goods, dips, breads, etc. Accepting special requests. Curbside pickup and e-gift cards available. 701 N. Howard Ave., Tampa. 818-415-5555. eatpsomi.com Rococo Steak Family-style and a la carte takeout options available. 655 2nd Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-822-0999. rococosteak.com Rooster Re-dux Three Proper House Group restaurants—including Rooster & the Till, Nebraska Mini-Mart and Gallito—are operating as one takeout operation out of Rooster & the Till at Seminole Heights. 6500 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-374-8940. roosternadthetill. com Saltblock Catering Offering family-style meals and grocery essentials delivered right to your door, including ingredients and menu items from local restaurants and vendors. Place your meal delivery orders by 11:59 p.m. on Monday for deliveries starting on Wednesday. New menus created weekly. saltblockhospitality.com SoHo Sushi Take out. 20% off all takeout, including bottled beer, wine and sake. Curbside pickup available. 3218 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa.
813-873-7646. sohosushi.com Strandhill Public Takeout. Noon to 9 p.m. 7 days. Offering the following discounts: 10% discount on all pick-up orders. 15% discount for all military personnel with valid I.D. 10288 Cswy. Blvd., Tampa. 813-442-7080. strandhillpublic.com Taquitos Mexican Takeout and delivery. One free meal per customer to those out of work and in need (until further notice). Free churros on orders of $25 or more. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 9617 Bay Pines Blvd., St. Petersburg. 727-256-1617. taquitosmex.com World of Beer Takeout and delivery. 50% for all first responders. UberEats deliveries, spend $20 and get a free German Pretzel. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 5311 Avion Park Dr., Tampa. 813-930-5499. worldofbeer.com Yeoman’s Cask & Lion Takeout. 25% off for medical professionals, first responders, and hospitality/service industry workers. $34.99 for two brunch items, bottle of bubbly and OJ. Takeout beer promotion with food purchase: domestic singles $3.50, imports 4-pack $12, craft singles $4.50 or 4-pack $15. 202 N. Morgan St., Tampa. 813-224-9367. yeomanscaskandlion.com
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 25
RAY ROA
HIDE AND SEEK: Tyler Andre (L) and Stuart Beebe of Hidden Springs Ale Works have your quarantine beers ready.
Drive, then drink And go home in between, obviously.
By Alexis Chamberlain and Ray Roa
T
BREWERY, TAP ROOM, BEER GARDEN & PRIVATE EVENT ROOM
30+ TAPS MONDAYS YOGA 6PM TUESDAYS EUCHRE 7PM WEDNESDAYS TRIVIA 7PM THURSDAYS YAPPY HOUR 6PM WEEKENDS LIVE MUSIC & FOOD TRUCKS AWARD
WINNING BEERS
MILK BONE STOUT / 1888 RUSSIAN IMPERIAL STOUT / SCHWARZHOUND BLACK LAGER
1962 1ST AVE S / ST PETE / 727.235.0970 PAWBeer.com/Events 26 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
imes are weird, and they are hard, especially for Tampa Bay bartenders. There’s a page that’ll let you tip a random local drinkslinger every time you take a sip at home (find the link on our website). Here are some of the best places to get a cocktail packaged for you to enjoy at the house. See more via cltampa. com/food. The Hub Bar Specials on fancy whiskey sours and other drinks are available on certain days at this downtown Tampa dive, but the signature “Hub pour”—which staff translates to “four drinks at the Hub, eight drinks everywhere else”—will be the hallmark to anyone buying $20 quarts of Hub margaritas or bloody marys. 719 N. Franklin St., Tampa. (813) 229-1553. The Hub Bar on Facebook Noble Crust The St. Petersburg location is still open and brunching thanks to the free bottle of sparkling wine and orange juice that comes with any Sunday order of $25 or more. The crew is also slinging $10 mason jar craft cocktails (the Brown Butter Dram, plus classics like the Manhattan and Old Fashioned) every day of the week. 8300 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-329-6041. noble-crust.com Miguelitos Taqueria Y Tequilas Prices on to-go skinny or premium margaritas range from $75 (one gallon) to $10 (eight ounces) at this South Tampa Mexican staple where half-gallon and 16 oz. options,, too. 2702 W Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. 813-872-5600. miguelitostampa.com Haven Enjoy SoHo sips in your skivvies thanks to drinks like the cucumber and elderflower soda. A dinner menu with apps, salad, sandwiches, plates, sides, Little Midway ice cream and the “Taste of Bern’s” section sounds like date night. 2208 W Morrison Ave., Tampa. (813) 258-2233. haventampa.com Trophy Fish Favorites (Calm Before the Storms, Pistachio Mai Tais, Salty Dogs, and Fin and Tonics) in vacuum-sealed plastic pouches complete with rosemary and candied blood orange slices garnishes. 2060 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-258-7883. trophyfishstpete.com
BREWERIES + BOTTLES 1933 Pub and Grill Curbside service for growler fills of craft beer on draft. 2245 Nursery Rd., Clearwater. (727) 532-1972. 1933pub.com Bay Cannon Beer Company & Guava Grill Takeout and delivery. Full menu available. Beer delivery available statewide. 2106 W. Main St., Tampa. 813-251-4553. baycannon.com Book + Bottle The wine and book lounge is willing to ship, or meet customers at the door with orders. 17 6th St. N,, St. Petersburg. 727-2407448. bookandbottlestpete.com BRU Florida Growler Bar Offering plastic (disposable/recyclable) 32-ounce growlers of Florida craft beer, cider, hard seltzer, kombucha and cold brew coffee. The concept is also waiving delivery charges around Tampa. Check Bru’s Facebook for more information. 8729 Gunn Hwy., Odessa. 813-328-4721. BRU Florida Growler Bar on Facebook Cage Brewery Takeout. Any size growler filled or refilled. 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday. 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. Friday through Sunday. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727201-4278. cagebrewing.com Cigar City Brewing The Spruce Street tasting room in Tampa’s Carver City neighborhood is open and serving to-go beer and food from 12 p.m.-8 p.m. Orders and payment may be taken over the phone and in-person. No growler or crowler fills. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363. cigarcitybrewing.com Coppertail Brewing Co. Takeout. Full menu available: wings, flatbreads, sandwiches, salads and more. All beer in the cooler can be taken home. Filling new growlers and crowlers. 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. 7 days. To go orders can be placed online or over the phone. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2601 E. 2nd Ave, Tampa. 813-450-1781. coppertailbrewing.com Hidden Springs Ale Works Tampa Heights’ finest brewery staff is still holding it down, slinging tall boys, bottles and crowlers to go. Online ordering available. They’ve even teamed up with some very, very far away friends—Weymouth, Massachusetts’ Vitamin Sea Brewery—to come up with a long distance beer collaboration: the S P A R K L I N G I S O L A T I O N double IPA, which should be available in the coming weeks. Did we mention tipping well? 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa. hiddenspringsaleworks.com
DRINKS
Seoul-based lovers of all things Tampa miss their second hometown. By Jay York
I
n the Spring of 2016, an old friend of mine mentioned that his Korean fiancé told him there was a Cuban sandwich shop in Seoul, Korea named “Tampa Sandwich Bar.” As a Tampa native, and staunch Tampa supporter The Cuban Sandwich started as a simple, handin the Cuban Sandwich debate, I was honored held and affordable meal for working class that someone overseas thought so much of our people in Ybor City. Is there a comparable dish humble sandwich that they’d build an entire in Seoul to that? restaurant concept around it, and the place it Korean meals are centered around variety. was invented in. It was even more amazing that Koreans generally eat kimchi stew, spicy stirthe restaurant happened to be all the way over fried pork with rice, etc. Korean food culture in Seoul, South Korea. is usually based on one main dish with lots of So I did an interview with owners Geunmin side dishes. For that reason, sandwiches are a Kang and Hyunmin Cho and published it on special meal for Koreans. If people don’t have since-shuttered music and culture blog Suburban much time to eat, they often go with a burger or Apologist. The 9th Annual International Cuban sandwich. Around 10-15% of our customers take Sandwich Festival is rescheduled for Sunday, their sandwiches with them on the go. May 31 in the wake of the novel coronavirus pandemic, so I checked back in with my friends Why do you think Americans are really starting who sadly won’t make it to Tampa in 2020. to take notice of Korean culture? Read highlights from our Q&A below, and The answer lies in mukbangs [an online audioget a link to the full chat via cltampa.com/food. visual broadcast, in which a host eats food How has the coronavirus changed people’s while interacting with the audience], BTS, and habits in Seoul? “Parasite”! Korean culture is very unique. Old The government, doctors and nurses are doing Koreans still remember the Japanese occupatheir best to respond to the virus. As you may tion, Korean War and IMF [financial crisis of have seen in the news, we can do a medical exam the late-’90s]. for the virus very quickly. The government is Even though young generations didn’t experitaking it step by step. We can get text messages ence it themselves, the lasting scars of the past with information about what’s happening in still have an effect them. Because of this, they’ve our area, which is helpcreated their own unique ful. Everyone is being and Korean style. As you careful. There have been know, hip teens with self9th Annual International Cuban Sanda few changes in South esteem are leading this wich Festival Korea. Many companies new culture even in high Sun. May 31, 11 a.m. Free to attend. are encouraging work school. As a result, Korea’s Centennial Park, 1800 E. 8th Ave, Ybor City from home and everyone unique story is getting thecubansandwichfestival.com is being careful when more interesting to the they take public transportation or going out. world—thus the rapidly increasing interest. Most restaurants and stores are placing hand sanitizers at their entrances. We believe we’ll In “Parasite,” jjapaguri ramen made quite a few overcome this epidemic soon enough. Americans hungry. What other Korean dishes are Americans missing out on? What was the most surprising thing about the There are so many delicious dishes in Korea. reaction to the news that there was a Tampa Koreans love to create dishes there way and to Cuban sandwich shop in Korea? share them with others. Muckbangs are a prime We never expected any reaction in Tampa when example of that (see YouTube). Here’s another we opened up the shop. We were just a small shop way to make Jjapaguri. Before the famous among thousands of restaurants in Seoul, so we Jjapaguri ramen, people wanted to make their could have never imagined an article published japagettie ramen more delicious. Some people in Tampa––the origin of the Cuban Sandwich. found the best combination included a fried egg
Q&A
TAMPA SANDWICH BAR
From Korea, with love
After the article went viral in Tampa. Many companies reached out to send us gifts of Tampa memorabilia and products. Visit Tampa Bay put together a great gift basket with Tampa themed items, Cigar City Brewing Beers and decor, as well as the shirts and bags you sent. We used much of this to decorate the shop. The Columbia Restaurant Group gave books, shirts, special ingredients and more. Everyone encouraged us to keep working hard and wished us well. The most surprising part was the people coming into the shop from Tampa and beyond. They all really enjoyed eating our Cubans. We’re so happy to not only be selling the famous Cuban sandwich, but also talking to our guests about Tampa.
SEOUL FOOD: Geunmin Kang (L) and Hyunmin Cho, who own South Korea’s Tampa Sandwich Bar. and cheese. We call this jjagechi. They’re made foods to appeal to Koreans. If the west is adoptwith Japagettie ramen and are delicious. It is ing Korean ingredients, we just hope that it’s easy to cook and you should try it right now! delicious. That’s all. How are you spreading the gospel of the Cuban sandwich? A small number of Koreans know of it now thanks to the movie “Chef” and Tampa Sandwich Bar. Many believe the sandwich is from Cuba. But after our restaurant, we want to teach everyone that it’s from Tampa, not Cuba. We’re dedicated to telling the story of how they make it and how it spread globally.
What was your favorite place to visit in Tampa? That’s a difficult question to answer! We spent 10 days in Tampa in 2017 and 2018. We’d have to say the Riverwalk is the best place in Downtown Tampa. Walking, running and chilling. It’s the perfect place for me. Restaurants? Can’t choose just one. Every single restaurant has an awesome vibe. The Columbia, La Segunda, Stone Soup Company, Goody Goody Burger, Ulele, Oxford Exchange, Ceviche’s and La Teresita! Even Taco Bus!
“We want to teach everyone that the Cuban sandwich is from Tampa, not Cuba.”
Our local Nebraska Mini Mart has a bulgogi cheesesteak with kimchi and gochujang mayo. Do Koreans in general like to see westerners adopting flavors and traditional ingredients? I believe that foods are from the earth. There is no Western or Eastern. Asians eat rice, yes, but so do Mexicans in burritos and Italians in risotto. In Korea, Domino’s and other pizza chains put bulgogi on pizza. Many American franchises also put various ingredients in their
What’s next for Tampa Sandwich Bar? We would love to make a culture and food space, similar to Oxford Exchange. We’d love to continue introducing Florida culture, foods, art and people to Koreans. We really have fallen in love with Tampa and Florida.
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 27
A THIRST QUENCHING GOLDEN ALE JAMMED WITH LOADS FRESH STRAWBERRIES & LIME. AROMAS REMINISCENT OF FLORIDA STRAWBERRY FIELDS WITH A LIME TWIST. FLAVORS OF FRESH PICKED FLORIDA STRAWBERRIES, BUT WITH A SUBTLE ACIDIC BALANCE FROM LIME JUICE!
tbbc.beer @tbbco #beerisyourfriend 28 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
No matter where you are in the Bay area, you’re not far from unique, locally handcrafted brews made by friends and neighbors with a passion for creating great beer. Here’s our ever-evolving list of Bay area brewers — check back often for updated listings! 3 DAUGHTERS BREWING One of the Warehouse Arts District’s most popular hangouts, and a beautiful facility in which to drink some great brews. 222 22nd St. S., St. Petersburg. 727-495-6002, 3dbrewing.com 3 KEYS BREWING South-of-the-Skyway restaurant and brewery specializing in small batches. 2505 Manatee Ave. E., Bradenton. 951-218-0396, 3keysbrewing.com 7VENTH SUN BREWING Some of the best sours, IPAs and collabs going. Two locations. 1012 Broadway, Dunedin. 727-733-3013/6809 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-231-5900, 7venthsun.com 81BAY BREWING CO. South Tampa’s first craft brewery boasts a wide variety of styles. 4465 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-837-BREW, 81baybrewco.com ANGRY CHAIR Crazy-good Tampa beer, open TuesdaySunday. 6401 N. Florida Ave., Seminole Heights. 813-238-1122, angrychairbrewing.com ANTIBREWERY Dunedin’s secret Sundays-only nano. 1367 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave., Dunedin ARKANE ALEWORKS A wide variety of styles and flavors from the second brewery to open in Largo. 2480 E. Bay Dr., #23, Largo. 727-270-7117, arkanebeer.com AVID BREWING This Grand Central brewing supply shop added a taproom for its beers crafted in-house. 1745 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-388-6756, avidbrew.com BARRIEHAUS BEER CO. Lager-specific brewery, carrying on an over 150 year brewing legacy. 1403 E 5th Ave., Ybor City. barriehaus.com BAY CANNON BEER CO. West Tampa's first craft brewery, offering a variety of ever evolving beers, beer slushies and wine that pair perfectly with appetizers and entrées from the kitchen. 813-442-5615, baycannon.com BIG STORM BREWING CO. Stop by this Pasco brewery’s Storm Room for a flight, or visit their taproom on 49th Street in Clearwater, too. 2330 Success Dr., Odessa. 727-807-7998, bigstormbrewery.com BIG TOP BREWING Perhaps Sarasota’s premier purveyor of locally crafted beer, Big Top’s reputation has spread far beyond the region. 6111 Porter Way, Sarasota. 941-371-2939, bigtopbrewing.com BOOTLEGGERS BREWING CO. This Brandon taproom from Bootleggers Beer & Wine Home Brewing Supplies offers house-made suds and guest beers. 652 Oakfield Dr., Brandon. 813-643-9463, bootleggersbrewco.com BRASSERIE ST. SOMEWHERE Award-winning Belgian farmhouse ales from veteran Bay area brewer Bob Sylvester. 1441 Savannah Ave., Tarpon Springs. 813-503-6181, saintsomewherebrewing.com BREW BUS BREWING BB brews its own suds, boasts 20 taps and offers food at its Eatery, too. 4101 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-990-7310, brewbususa.com BREW HUB Some of the area’s best beers are produced here along with suds for their own label. 3900 Frontage Rd. S., Lakeland. 863-698-7600, brewhub.com BREW LIFE BREWING Ultra-small batches, and a lot of ‘em. 5765 S. Beneva Rd., Sarasota. 941-952-3831, brewlifebrewing.com BULLFROG CREEK BREWING CO. A multitude of styles from former garage brewers is on tap in Valrico. 3632 Lithia Pinecrest Rd., Valrico. 813-703-8835, bullfrogcreekbrewing. com CAGE BREWING Custom brews in the Grand Central District from one of the ‘Burg’s newest. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-201-4278 CALEDONIA BREWING Great in-house beers in the historic Dunedin Times building. 587 Main St., Dunedin. 727351-5105, caledoniabrewing.com CALUSA BREWING Family owned and operated, opened Tuesday to Sunday. 5701 Derek Ave., Sarasota. 941-9228150, calusabrewing.com CARROLLWOOD BREWING CO. “Secret” brewing action inside the Carrollwood location of craft-bar chain The Brass Tap. 10047 N. Dale Mabry HWY, STE 23, Tampa. 813-969-2337
CIGAR CITY BREWING Tampa’s most famous craft brewery. There’s also a taproom at Amalie Arena. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363, cigarcitybrewing.com CLEARWATER BREWING CO. Community-oriented and socially and environmentally conscious. 1700 N. Fort Harrison Ave., Clearwater. clearwaterbrewingcompany.com COPPERTAIL BREWING CO. Some of Tampa’s best beer, in one of its best tasting rooms. 2601 E. 2nd Ave., Tampa. 813-247-1500, coppertailbrewing.com COTEE RIVER BREWING Craft beer in the heart of historic downtown New Port Richey. 5760 Main St., New Port Richey. 727-807-6806, coteeriverbrewing.com CRAFT LIFE BREWING Small-batch local brews and a sort of playground or LoL’s craft brewing guild. 4624 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-575-8440. facebook.com/ CraftLifeBrewing CROOKED THUMB BREWERY Safety Harbor’s first brewery boasts homegrown flavor and local guest taps. 555 10th Ave. S., Safety Harbor. 727-724-5953, crookedthumbbrew.com CUENI BREWING CO. Located off the Pinellas Trail in Dunedin. 945 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. 727-266-4102, cuenibrewing.com CYCLE BREWING One of St. Pete’s favorites. 534 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-320-7954. cyclebrewing.com DARWIN BREWING CO. Unique beers crafted with South American influence. 803 17th Ave. W., Bradenton. 941-7471970, darwinbrewingco.com DE BINE BREWING CO. This addition bolsters the Northern Pinellas craft beer scene. 933 Florida Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-233-7964. DISSENT BREWING CO. Unique flavors and adventurous style outside downtown St. Pete. 5518 Haines Rd. N., St. Petersburg. 727-342-0255. DUNEDIN BREWERY Florida’s oldest. Beer, eats and live music. 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-7360606, dunedinbrewery.com DUNEDIN HOUSE OF BEER This beer stop brews its own, and also has 40 guest taps. 927 Broadway, Dunedin. 727 216-6318, dunedinhob.com ESCAPE BREWING CO. Another very worthy Odessa/Trinity destination. 9945 Trinity Blvd., Suite 108, Trinity. 727-807-6092, escapebrewingcompany.com FIVE BRANCHES Veteran-owned brewery, small batches from IPAs to stouts. Serving up brews and a clear view of the Tarpon Bayou. 531 Athens St., Tarpon Springs. fivebranchesbrewing.com FLYING BOAT BREWING COMPANY St. Pete aviation history and tasty homegrown suds. 1776 11th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-2999, flyingboatbrewing.com FOUR STACKS BREWING An always-changing lineup of local and regional guest suds, along with trivia, live music and more. 5469 N. US HWY 41, Apollo Beach. 813-641-2036, fourstacksbrewing.com GREEN BENCH BREWING COMPANY A space worthy of the adventurous beers it produces. 1133 Baum Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-9836, greenbenchbrewing.com GOOD LIQUID BREWING CO. Thirty taps and food (and a coffee roaster!) from a husband-and-wife duo. 4824 14th St. W., Bradenton. 941-896-6381, thegoodliquidbrewing.co
HOB BREWING CO. Rotating taps; some of the beers are brewed on-site and alongside a combination of local breweries plus local and international craft beer makers. 931 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. hob.beer
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER This video game-centric Grand Central District craft beer bar started brewing its own in early 2018. 2244 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-360 - 0766, stpetearcadebar.com
IF I BREWED THE WORLD This self-described “mixtape of breweries” offers a bit of everything from the classic to the fun and outrageous. 2200 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727201-4484, ifibrewedtheworld.com
ROCK BROTHERS BREWING Brews named for national and local bands have a home in Ybor City. 1901 N. 15th St., Ybor City. 813-241- 0110, rockbrothersbrewing.com
IN THE LOOP BREWING Family-friendly Land O’ Lakes brewery with a lot of community support and plenty of events. 3338 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-9979189, intheloopbrewingcompany.com
SARASOTA BREWING COMPANY House-crafted brews, pizza, and sports out toward beautiful Siesta Key. 6607 Gateway Ave., Sarasota. 941-925 -2337, sarasotabrewing.com
INFUSION BREWING CO. Another great location in the good-beer-packed Trinity/New Port Richey area. 7813 Mitchell Blvd. Ste 103, Trinity. 727-312-4512.
SILVERKING BREWING CO. This space in Tarpon Springs complements a label that’s been around since 2012. 325 East Lemon St., Tarpon Springs. 727- 4227598, silverkingbrewing.com
INOCULUM ALE WORKS These folks are crazy for sours, and know how to craft ‘em. 554 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. inoculumaleworks.com
SIX TEN BREWING A wide variety and a real passion for the craft-brew community. 7052 Benjamin Rd., Tampa. 813-886 - 0610, sixtenbrewing.com
JDUB’S BREWING COMPANY You know ‘em, you love ‘em. A favorite statewide phenomenon. 1215 Mango Ave., Sarasota. 941-955-2739, jdubsbrewing.com
SOGGY BOTTOM BREWING More Dunedin goodness, including some truly original flavors and inventive brews. 660 Main St., Dunedin. 727- 601-1698, soggybottombrewing.com
LAGERHAUS BREWERY & GRILL A Palm Harbor bar and eatery that offers seasonal brews to complement their regulars. 3438 East Lake Business, Palm Harbor. 727-216-9682, lagerhausbrewery.com
SOUTHERN BREWING & WINEMAKING Multiple brews only available in its tasting room, as well as products and guidance for local homebrewers. 4500 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-238-7800, southernbrewingwinemaking.com
LATE START BREWING This beloved Tampa label does its thing inside the Pour House. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd. #112, Tampa. 813-402-2923, latestartbrewing.com
ST. PETE BREWING COMPANY Beers crafted specifically for the climate. 544 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727- 692-8809, stpetebrewingcompany.com
LEAVEN BREWING Riverview’s first brewery is run by folks who’ve got experience brewing big and small. 11238 Boyette Rd., Riverview. 813-677-7023, leavenbrewing.com MAD BEACH CRAFT BREWING Brews, ciders, and meads by the beach. 12945 Village Boulevard, Madeira Beach. 727-3620008, madbeachbrewing.com MARKER 48 Hernando’s first production craft brewery, with its own tasting room and beer garden 12147 Cortez Blvd, Weeki Wachee. 352-6062509, marker48.com MASTRY’S BREWING CO. From CD Roma’s restaurant to sweet new digs on St. Pete Beach. 7701 Blind Pass Rd., St. Pete Beach. 727-202-8045 mastrysbrewingco.com MOTORWORKS BREWING A taproom and beer garden featuring full liquor and wine as well as 30 taps. 1014 9th Street West, Bradenton. 941-567-6218, motorworksbrewing.com
STILT HOUSE BREWERY This friendly Palm Harbor joint specializes in high-ABV ales and other styles you won’t find at other breweries in the area. 625 US Hwy Alt. 19, Palm Harbor. 727-270 -7373, stilthousebrewery. com SWAN BREWING Nearly 4 decades of combined brewing experience go into the offerings at this pet-friendly joint. 115 W. Pine St., Lakeland. 863-703- 0472, swanbrewing.com TBBC Formerly Tampa Bay Brewing Co., local favorite for nearly two decades. 1600 E. 8th Ave., Ybor City/13933 Monroe’s Business Park, Westchase. 813-247-1422, tbbc. beer TAMPA BEER WORKS At the former site of ESB Brewing, TBW focuses on American craft styles. 333 N. Falkenburg Rd., Suite D407 Tampa. 813-685-1909, tampabeerworks.com TIDAL BREWING COMPANY Small batches in Spring Hill. 14311 Spring Hill Dr., Spring Hill. 352-701-1602,tidalbrewingfl.com TWO FROGS BREWING COMPANY Tarpon Springs’ latest brewery and taproom focuses on American ale styles. 151 E. Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-6077, facebook.com/twofrogsbrewing KEEL FARMS AGRARIAN ALE + CIDER Tasty brews from the folks behind Keel & Curley winery. 5210 W. Thonotosassa Rd., Plant City. 813-752-9100, keelandcurleywinery.com
MR. DUNDERBAK’S The longtime restaurant, biergarten and homebrewers’ hangout is serving up its own beers. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-977-4104, dunderbaks.com
TWO LIONS WINERY & PALM HARBOR BREWERY Wine and beer brewed in-house. 1022 Georgia Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-786-8039, twolionswinery.com
NAUGHTY MONK BREWERY Naughty Monk brings a love of Belgian styles to Manatee County. 2507 Lakewood Ranch Blvd., Bradenton. 941-708-2966, naughtymonkbrewery.com
ULELE SPRING BREWERY Beer crafted in accordance with traditional Bavarian purity laws. 1810 N. Highland Ave., Tampa. 813-999-4952, ulele.com
OVERFLOW BREWING St. Pete’s newest, courtesy of local Rapp head brewer Troy Bledsoe and company. 770 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-914-0665, facebook.com/ overflowbrewingco
THE WILD ROVER BREWERY What started as an English pub in Odessa is now a higher-production facility in Westchase. 13921 Lynmar Blvd., Tampa. 813-475-5995, thewildroverbrewery.com
PEPPER BREWING The Angry Pepper Taphouse’s inhouse label, available “on a limited basis.” 9366 Oakhurst Rd., Seminole. 727-596-5766, angrypeppertaphouse.com
GRINDHAUS BREW LAB Small batches and no extracts. 1650 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater. 727-240-0804, grindhausbrewlab.com
PESKY PELICAN BREW PUB This beachy restaurant also offers up its own beers thanks to an in-house nano system. 923 72nd. St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-302-9600, peskypelicanbrewpub.com
GULFPORT BREWERY + EATERY Small batches with an artisanal food menu. 3007 Beach Blvd., Tampa. facebook. com/GulfportBrewery
PINELLAS ALE WORKS PAW offers a dog-friendly environment in addition to tasty brews. 1962 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-235-0970, pawbeer.com
HIDDEN SPRINGS ALE WORKS This Tampa Heights brewery features a rotating tap selection. 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa, 813-226-2739, hiddenspringsaleworks.com
RAPP BREWING COMPANY Greg Rapp’s award-winning styles are carefully crafted and delicious. 10930 Endeavor Way, Seminole. 727-544-1752, rappbrewing.com
WOODWRIGHT BREWING COMPANY Traditional German styles in downtown Dunedin. 985 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-238-8717, facebook.com/ woodwrightbrewing ZEPHYRHILLS BREWING COMPANY East Paco’s first microbrewery. 38530 5th Ave., Zephyrhills. 813715 -2683, zbcbeer.com ZYDECO BREW WERKS Craft brews in Ybor thanks to an award-winning brewmaster, as well as full bars and NOLA-influenced cuisine. 1902 E. 7th Ave., Ybor City. 813-252- 4541, facebook.com/ Zydecobrewwerks
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 29
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Roll over
Tampa Bay businesses still open to serve you. By Alexis Chamberlain
A
stay-at-home or shelter-in-place order could be a reality by the time this hits newsstands, but for now, here are the businesses still helping you get the shit you—and your pets— need to live. See a full list via cltampa.com/arts. Grill & Provisions Co. One-stop grill pro shop and Big Green Egg Platinum Dealer. Operating under normal hours until further notice; follow @grillandprovisions social accounts for updates. Free delivery on all purchases, 20% of all charcoal, pellets, spices, rubs, and sauces. Takeout available for Off the Egg lunch and BBQ catering and family packs that can be ordered ahead and delivered. 3501 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa. 813-879-4647. grillandprovisions.com Forgot or Knot Assisting with food delivery, supply delivery and products to small businesses in Tampa at no cost to at-risk communities during the COVID-19 pandemic. Option to personalize video messages if you’re sending gifts or food. 813-325-6266. forgotorknot.com Friends of Strays Waiving all adoption fees. All adoptable dogs and cats are all spayed and neutered, up-to-date on vaccines, and microchipped. Just 10 visitors will be allowed in the building at once. 2911 47th Ave N., St. Petersburg. 727522-6566. friendsofstrays.org Health Mutt Virtual shopping available for curbside pickup. To place a curbside order, text 813-467-6529 or shop online. 6116 N Central Ave., Tampa. 813-231-3137. tampahealthmutt. com Humane Society of Tampa Bay Office, shelter, intake, and animal health center open with updated hours. 3607 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa. 813-774-4313. humanesocietytampa.org Mojo Books & Records Bookstore, record store, and coffee and tea bar. 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. 7
days. Curbside pickup and in-store service available. See more record stores getting after it via cltampa.com/music. 2540 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa. 813-971-9717. mojotampa.com My Appliance Guy In-home residential appliance repair. Normal operating hours, but limiting calls to three to four a day to minimize the exposure and spread of the virus. 813-808-7533. myapplianceguyrepairs.com The Body Electric Yoga Company Brick and mortar is closed, but offering several classes a day free live streamed on Facebook. Schedule available online or on the app. 3015 7th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-490-9361. thebodyelectricyoga.com The Box Theater Improv training, improv shows and corporate training for applied improvisation. Suspending classes at this time and all March Shows are cancelled. 2240 University Square Mall, Unit 374, Tampa. 813-400-0269. boximprov. com Truffula Eco Boutique Eco-friendly products, clothing made with sustainable materials, vegan handbags and footwear, upcycled jewelry, solar appliances and more. 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday. Discounts on clothing and items throughout the store. 2935 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-258-8759. truffulaeco.com VKNG ROW Fitness studio and indoor rowing facility. Currently closed until regulations from CDC recommend reopening. Offering free challenges and workouts through social media platforms. 701 W Platt St., Tampa. 813-260-0174. vkngrow.com
RETAIL
Did we miss your business? Let us know by submitting your info at cltampa.com/emergencylistings
TAMPA HEALTH MUTT
DOG DAYS: Seminole Heights’ Health Mutt is offering curbside service in these troubled times.
30 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
MOVIES
THEATER
ART
CULTURE
How the stories of Salome and Scheherazade got totally messed up.
MFA ST. PETERSBURG
Wilde-ly incorrect By Jennifer Ring
B
efore it closed temporarily amid concerns around the coronavirus, The Museum of Fine Art’s “Art of the Stage” told many stories, the broadest of which is the history of theater itself. Each production referenced tells its own story, from the story of Susan B. Anthony and women’s suffrage in Gertrude Stein and Virgil Thomson’s opera “The Mother of Us All” to the biblical story of “Salome” as told by Oscar Wilde. Let’s focus on two: the stories of Salome and Scheherazade, which resonated most with local Arab American artist Andrea Assaf. “[Scheherazade and Salome] are both female figures,” Assaf told Creative Tampa Bay. “It’s debatable whether or not they’re historical figures or whether they’re more folklore, but so much story swirls around them.” Salome makes her first appearance in the Bible as the young woman who requests the head of John the Baptist on a platter. In the biblical telling, King Herod wants to marry his brother Phillip’s wife, Herodias. John tells him, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife,” and Herodias is pissed. She wants John dead, but she doesn’t think her new husband will kill him for her. Eventually, her daughter Salome makes the request. Matthew 6:22 says, “When the daughter of Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his dinner guests. The king said to the girl, ‘Ask me for anything you want, and I’ll give it to you.’” Salome asks her mother what she should request, and of course Mom in her great pettiness suggested she ask for the head of John the Baptist. So she did, and the rest is history, legend, or whatever you want to call it. The story fits into a single page of the New Testament. The Bible tells us very little about Salome, so people started making up their own details. “Fascinating to literary artists from ancient times to the present, the ‘Salome’ narrative evolves in a continually developing dance,” writes Carmen Trammell Skaggs in the scholarly article, “Modernity’s Revision of the Dancing Daughter: The Salome Narrative of Wilde and Strauss.” Unfortunately, the most influential retellings, by Oscar Wilde and Richard Strauss, are
riddled with racial stereotypes. Let’s start with Oscar Wilde’s “Salome,” published in 1891, and known for its Orientalism, generally described as “a way of seeing that imagines, emphasizes, exaggerates and distorts differences of Arab peoples and cultures as compared to that of Europe and the U.S. It often involves seeing Arab culture as exotic, backward, uncivilized, and at times dangerous.” Think snake charmers, veiled women, harem pictures, and basically every imaginable stereotype an Arab-American artist might find offensive all wrapped in a bundle. In Wilde’s version, Salome is characterized as a morally-depraved sex kitten, an exotic beauty who immediately captures the Young Syrian’s attention, but cannot capture John the Baptist’s heart, no matter how hard she tries to corrupt him. Unfortunately for John the Baptist, Salome doesn’t deal well with rejection. In Wilde’s version, Salome doesn’t request John’s head to appease her mother; she requests John’s head because he rejects her. Wilde’s play was extremely popular in Germany—popular enough that German composer Richard Strauss decided to make an opera out of it. Strauss’s 1905 opera kept about a third of Wilde’s text, put it to music, and added a heaping tablespoon of anti-Semitism. In Strauss’ opera, the moral degenerates are now the Jews of the East, hysterical and quarreling throughout the production. Sadly, Skaggs posits, “the dancing daughter we envision in the 21st-century is a product of the mythic figure created by Wilde and Strauss, not the one encountered in the Biblical accounts in the gospels of Mark and Matthew.” If ever a character was in need of a 21stcentury rewrite, it’s Salome, who went from having no personality or description at all in the Bible to becoming a racial stereotype in Wilde and Strauss’ reinterpretations. Now let’s talk about Scheherazade. “[She] comes out of completely Middle Eastern tradition in stories and folklore from the Arab world and Persian,” Assaf told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “She’s also been rewritten several times, and she’s been rewritten through the eyes of
LITERATURE
DISTORTED MEMORY: Costume design for Salomé in “Salomé,” by Alexandra Exter, 1917. the British Empire and colonialism and the male gaze.” Scheherazade is the main character in “One Thousand and One Nights/Arabian Nights,” a collection of Middle Eastern folk tales originally told in Arabic. How can there be a main character in a collection of stories? It’s a narrative device called framing. Scheherazade’s tale is the frame of the story through which the other stories are told. In short: King Shahrayar, who rules in India and China, marries the wrong woman. After she cheats on him, Shahryar decides to never trust women again. “I, Shahrayar, shall each night marry a virgin, kissed only by her mother. I shall kill her the following morning and thereby protect myself from the cunning deceit of women, for there is not a single chaste woman on this earth!” he pronounces. Spoiler alert: Eventually they can’t find any more virgins. This is when Scheherazade volunteers to be Shahrayar’s wife, but she plans to tell her new husband a story each night, but to always end on a cliffhanger. If he wants to know the ending, he has to postpone her execution by another day. Each night, Shahrayar spins a tale of the oppressor vs. the oppressed. “Through all these stories, she is working on him,” writes Joe Fassler for the Atlantic. “She chooses stories that mirror her predicament. All the characters are pleading for life, in a way.”
This goes on for 1001 nights, after which Shahrayar finally spares Scheherazade’s life for good. In the original, Scheherazade is brave and clever. The Ballets Russes’ 1911 production of “Scheherazade,” however, has nothing to do with oppression or storytelling. It’s simply “a ballet set in an Oriental harem,” writes Nikoo Paydar in a 2013 Artl@s Bulletin. In other words, an interesting character was replaced with a collection of stereotypes that paid no mind to the original story. Rosie Thomas, in “Scheherazade’s Children,” calls the Ballet Russes’ production part of a second wave of European orientalist fantasy which happened in the early decades of the 20th century. “Shamelessly dispensing with the clever woman storyteller— Scheherazade herself—the ballet was confected around one scene of the introductory frame story, which reveled in the despot, slave, harem, and orgy motifs that so excited the European imagination,” Thomas writes. Basically, 19th and even 20th-century European depictions of Salome and Scheherazade leave something to be desired. “I’m just really interested that both of these women have shown up in this art exhibit and through theater, which is my background,” Assaf told CL. “I’m interested in, as an Arab American woman now, in the 21st century, how to counter those figures. What do they have to say to us now? What do I have to say to them?”
“Unfortunately, the most influential retellings are riddled with racial stereotypes.”
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 31
REVIEWS
PROFILES
MUSIC WEEK
Tampa’s DJ Ku lost 100% of his income to the coronavirus, and he’s kind of OK with it. By Ray Roa
O
n March 1, Charles Ku was getting married to the love of his life, Tampa actress Marlene Peralta, at Armature Works in Tampa Heights. Two weeks later, the Red Bull Thre3style regional champ was still spinning at clubs like American Social and Franklin Manor. Some even wondered if Ku would play the infamous Cardi B pandemic rant, which was remixed by Brooklyn DJ iMarkkeyz before landing on international pop charts in Bulgaria and Brazil last weekend,then arriving on the iTunes store’s top 10 less than a week later. Forty-eight hours later, Ku, 34, had virtually no gigs at all. Following in the footsteps of nearly every other promoter and event planner in the country, clubs in downtown Tampa, Harbour Island and Ybor City— including Franklin Manor, American Social and The Ritz, where Ku holds a Monday residency—voluntarily went dark to protect their patrons and themselves from the spread of the novel coronavirus. A day later, on March 17, Gov. Ron DeSantis ordered all bars and nightclubs to close for 30 days. Ku, famously active on Twitter, encouraged his followers to go vote, “then take your ass back inside.” He heeded his own advice shortly after that, and watched every one of his local and out of town gigs disappear. “100% of my income is now on hold,” Ku told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay in an email. “The worst part of it all is that there’s no definitive way of knowing how long this will last.” Ku had already taken a few gigs off to start social distancing, but added that no one is ever prepared to lose their jobs. “As a career DJ of over 15 years, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to save your money. Myself and my fellow DJs aren’t promised work like a regular 9-5 job, so putting some money aside when you can is crucial,” he added. In his downtime, Ku, who’s easily the foodiest DJ in Tampa Bay, started a mini-social media campaign to have Publix partially sponsor his quarantine by sending cases of cantaloupe green brewed iced tea. In the beginning of the isolation,
he supported Renzo’s by ordering a chicken milanesa, but for the most part, he and Peralta have been cooking for themselves. He also started explaining why blaming China for the novel coronavirus is racist; Ku implored his followers to get learned on the virus destroying their livelihood. “Some of my direct family work in the medical field. My sister has been giving me warnings about this and how important social distancing is for a while now. It’s something that people shouldn’t take lightly,” Ku told CL. He commended Franklin Manor and The Ritz for having the foresight to close early, but also understood why some spots waited until the last minute. “It’s a tough reality for a lot of people (myself included), but ultimately, I’m glad the mandate happened. Before so, it placed a lot of DJs like myself in awkward positions. Feeling guilty about coming in and not coming in at the same time... Knowing we should be socially distancing ourselves, but also knowing if we told the club that we weren’t coming in anymore, it’s essentially like quitting your job.” Before Hard Rock Tampa finally closed altogether last Friday, Ku wondered out loud about why DJs were still playing the lobby bar and why some DJs were trying to throw house parties. Some people choose to believe whatever makes their lives easier, but Ku explained that he chose to listen to scientists and medical professionals on this one. “We are all in this together and the longer people disregard what the CDC says, the longer we’re going to be in this funk,” Ku added. “That one extra paycheck isn’t helping anything in the long run.” Since DJ-ing is about way more than the two hours behind the ones and twos, Ku’s been staying sharp on his skills, too. “There’s a ton of work that goes in preparing those sets. Hours of music hoarding, searching,
PHOTO BY ROBERTO RETANA C/O DJ KU
Under Ku-arantine
LOCAL MUSIC
32 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
FEELING KU-OOPED UP: Tampa’s DJ Ku has an interesting take on the virus that’s taken away his livelihood. organizing, labeling, practicing, and creating “Even though we’re not being paid right new ways to introduce it happen behind the now, we have to act like we are,” Ku said. “I’m scenes every week,” Ku forcing myself to spend time behind the decks explained. That’s not even at home for at least an hour or two every day to counting the marketing keep the swords sharp.” and branding most DJs Ku has a message for Publix, too. have to execute them“If anyone from there is reading this and selves. When the clubs wants to send more cantaloupe green tea, slide finally reopen, DJs have in the DMs.” to be up to speed on all the music that’s coming out while everyone is staying home.
“The longer people disregard what the CDC says, the longer we’re going to be in this funk.”
Where the vinyl is: a list of Bay area record stores
The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) mid-2019 revenue report said streaming music accounted for 80% of total industry revenues, which rose 18% to $5.4 billion. Vinyl album revenue grew 13% to $224 million, but the RIAA also pointed out that sales of wax still only accounted for 4% of total revenues. Rough translation: Yeah, people are buying more records, but your local shop still needs you more than ever. If you’re reading this page, then you probably already know this, but you need your local shop, too. So many of the spaces listed to the right are so much more than stores. They’re community centers for
music lovers. Some of them are venues for local bands. The staff at most of these shops have more musical knowledge in their left ear than you’ll ever have in your entire life; they’re willing to share it with a smile on their face, too. Patronize these brick and mortars… frequently. Make friends with your neighbor behind the counter. Your wallet might be a little lighter, but your mind will be happy in return. You don’t have to stop streaming — let’s face it, no one will — but opening an app will never live up to the feeling of opening the door at your local record store. —Ray Roa
ArtPool Records (2030 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-433-5195, artpoolrules.com
Daddy Kool Records (2430 Terminal Dr. S., Side B, St. Petersburg) 727-822-5665, daddykool.com
Kingfish Records (Main Store) (26024-B US Highway 19 N., Clearwater) 727-351-5177, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Tampa (14246 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-978-9316, soundexchangetampabay.com
Disc Exchange (6712 Central Ave., aSt. Petersburg) 727-343-5845, thediscexchange.com
Kingfish Records (Flea Market) (180 Race Track Rd., Tampa) 727-455-9923, kingfishrecords.com
Dunedin Records & Audio (757 Main St., Dunedin) 727-423-4108, dunedinrecords.com Dustin’s Vinyl Shop (180 Race Track Rd., Booth F25 W, Oldsmar) 727-678-6829, facebook.com/pg/dustinsvinylshop
Microgroove (906 N. Florida Ave., Tampa) 813-667-7089, microgroovetampa.co
Sound Exchange Pinellas Park (66th Street N and 86th Avenue N., Pinellas Park) 727-545-0042, soundexchangetampabay.com
Asylum Sights and Sounds (6566 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-384-1221 Bananas Records (2887 22nd Ave N., St. Petersburg) 727-327-4616 ext. 1, bananasrecords.com Bananas Records Warehouse (2226 16th Ave. N., St. Petersburg) 727 327-4616 ext. 2, bananasrecords.com Blue Moon Antiques, Books & Music (1413 Cleveland St., Clearwater) 727-443-7444 The Clearwater Record Shop (1610 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater) 727-755-1201, clearwaterrecordshow.com
Green Shift Music & Comics (5713 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-238-4177, greenshiftmusicandcomics.com Hello Darlin’ Records (Roving VW Camper) 727-479-6783, hellodarlinrecords.com
Mojo Books & Records (2540 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa) 813-971-9717, mojotampa.com Patrick’s Book and Record Store (15215 US Hwy.19 C, Hudson) 727-868-3168, patricksbooksandre.wixsite.com/patricks Planet Retro Records (226 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg) 727-218-7434, planetretrorecords.com
St. Pete Records (6648 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-490-8861, stpeterecords.com Steelworker Records (708 W. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Tampa) 813-666-4933, steelworkerrecords.com Unique Music & Collectables (123 Main St., Dunedin) 727-240-0757 Vintage Vinyl (38874 U.S. 19 N., Tarpon Springs) 727-940-8301, vintagevinyl.biz
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 33
Q: Who is having thoughts of suicide? c.
a. b.
d.
A:
e.
It’s not clear, is it? People of every income level, race, gender, sexuality, and religion think about suicide. The Crisis Center of Tampa Bay is the community’s gateway to help, hope and healing. Last year alone, we assisted over 5,000 callers struggling with thoughts of suicide.
CALL 2•1•1 Be Heard. 34 | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | cltampa.com
Aries The ram.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your oracle comes from Aries poet Octavio Paz: “The path the ancestors cleared is overgrown, unused. The other path, smooth and broad, is crowded with travelers. It goes nowhere. There’s a third path: mine. Before me, no one. Behind me, no one. Alone, I find my way.” APRIL FOOL! Although the passage by Octavio Paz is mostly accurate for your destiny during the rest of 2020, it’s off-kilter in one way: It’s too ponderously serious and melodramatic. You should find a way to carry out its advice with meditative grace and effervescent calm. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A century ago, fiery writer Maxim Gorky and hard-ass Taurus politician Vladimir Lenin were listening to a Beethoven sonata together. “I can’t listen to music too often,” Lenin told his companion. “It affects your nerves, makes you want to say stupid, nice things.” This is crucial advice for you to heed in the coming weeks, Taurus. You need to be as smart and tough as possible, so don’t you dare listen to music. APRIL FOOL! Lenin was half-mistaken, and I halflied. The fact is, music makes you smarter and nicer, and those will be key assets for you to cultivate in the coming weeks. So yes, do listen to a lot of music. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): By the time he was 55 years old, Gemini author Thomas Hardy had written 18 novels and many poems. His stuff was good enough to win him two separate nominations for a Nobel Prize in Literature. But during the last 32+ years of his life, he never wrote another novel. According to one theory, it was because he was discouraged by the negative reviews he got for his last novel. I suspect you may be at a similar juncture in your life, Gemini. Maybe it’s time to give up on a beloved activity that hasn’t garnered the level of success you’d hoped for. APRIL FOOL! The truth is, it is most definitely NOT time to lose hope and faith. Don’t be like Hardy. Rededicate yourself to your passionate quests. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian theologian John Wesley (1703–1791) was a Christian who embodied the liberal values that Christ actually taught. He advocated for the abolition of slavery, prison reform, the ordination of women priests, and a vegetarian diet. He gave away a lot of his money and administered many
charities. To accomplish his life’s work, he traveled 250,000 miles on horseback and preached 40,000 sermons. Let’s make him your role model for the coming weeks. Be inspired by his life as you vividly express your care and compassion. APRIL FOOL! I lied a little bit. Although most of what I just recommended is a good idea, the part about traveling long distances, either on horseback or by other means, is not. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The neurotic but talented
about. But don’t get as obsessed as Edel! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): About 2,000 years ago, a Roman woman named Sulpicia wrote six short love poems—a total of 40 lines—that are still being analyzed and discussed by literary scholars today. I bring her to your attention because I think that in the next four weeks you, too, could generate a small burst of beauty that will still be appreciated 2,000 years from now. APRIL FOOL! I lied about the “small”
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY By Rob Brezsny
F r e nc h novelist Marcel Proust observed, “Everything vital in the world comes from neurotics. They alone have founded religions and composed our masterpieces.” With that in mind, and in accordance with current astrological omens, I urge you to cultivate your own neurotic qualities in their extreme forms of expression during the coming weeks. You’re due for some major creative breakthroughs. APRIL FOOL! I was kidding. The fact is, you can generate creative breakthroughs in the coming weeks by being poised and composed—not extra neurotic. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo author Leon Edel wrote a five-volume biography of renowned author Henry James. In the course of his research, he read 15,000 letters that were written by James. He came to have a profound familiarity with the great man. In accordance with current astrological omens, I recommend that you choose a worthy character about whom you will become equally knowledgeable. APRIL FOOL! I halflied. It’s true that now is an excellent time to deepen your understanding of people you care
p a r t . The burst of beauty you create in the immediate future could actually be quite large, as well as enduring. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): French poet Louis Aragon (1897– 1982) was an influential novelist and a pioneer of surrealistic poetry. Much of his writing had a lyrical quality, and many of his poems were set to music. He also had a belligerent streak. Before the publication of one of his books, he announced that he would thrash any writer who dared to review it in print. Success! There were no critical reviews at all. I recommend his approach to you in the coming weeks. Make it impossible for anyone to criticize you. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I would never suggest that you use violence to accomplish your aims. And besides that, the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to solicit feedback of all varieties, even the critical kind. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I hesitate to be so blunt, but it’s my duty to report the facts. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you should have as many orgasms as possible in the next 15 days. You need to tap into
the transformative psychological power that’s available through monumental eruptions of pleasure and releases of tension. (P.S. Spiritual orgasms will be just as effective as physical orgasms.) APRIL FOOL! What I just said is true, but I left out an important component of your assignment: Be loving and responsible as you pursue your joyous climaxes, never manipulative or exploitative or insensitive. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Ancient Greek orator Demosthenes was renowned for his skill at delivering powerful, charismatic speeches. While he was still learning his craft, he resorted to extreme measures to improve. For example, there was a time when he shaved just half of his head. It made him ashamed to go out in public, forcing him to spend all his time indoors practicing his speeches. Would you consider a similar strategy right now? APRIL FOOL! I was just messing with you. It’s true that the coming weeks will be a good time to minimize your socializing and devote yourself to hard work in behalf of a beloved dream. But shaving half your head isn’t the best way to accomplish that. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to tell as many lies as possible if doing so helps you get what you want. I hereby authorize you to engage in massive deceptions, misrepresentations, and manipulative messages as you seek to impose your will on every flow of events. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, everything I just said was the exact opposite of your actual horoscope, which is as follows: You have a sacred duty to tell more of the truth than you have ever been able to tell before. As you dig deeper to discover more and more of what’s essential for you to understand and express, dedicate your efforts to the goal of gliding along with the most beautiful and interesting flow you can find. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Fifteen minutes before the Big Bang occurred, where was the matter that now constitutes your body and my body? And if, as seems to be true, the Big Bang was the beginning of time, what time was it fifteen minutes earlier? Questions like these are crucial for you to ponder in the next two weeks. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The questions I articulated should in fact be very low priority for you. In the immediate future, you’ll be wise to be as concrete and specific and pragmatic as you can possibly be. Focus on up-close personal questions that you can actually solve, not abstract, unsolvable riddles.
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 35
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Holing up By Dan Savage
M
y question is on managing “gray area” intimacies during the pandemic. I have a lover/friend that I’ve been hanging out with—fucking, drinking tea, going on hikes, eating ice cream, watching movies, and other activities—for about nine months. He’s 36 and was married for 10 years, and due to that experience he’s been a bit emotionally “boundaried” but he’s still really sweet and a good communicator. I’m in grad school doing a double masters, so the small amount of time we’ve been spending together has worked well for me. Here’s the issue: he’s also an ER doctor. Do I keep seeing him during this pandemic? I just moved to the city where we both live for my grad program, and he’s my main source for connection, comfort, and support here. Every time I see him we both feel tremendously less stressed and our connection feels emotionally healthy. I just know he is bound to be at a huge risk for exposure and since he’s not a committed partner and we don’t live together, I don’t know if he falls within or outside of my physical distancing boundary. It seems like the best thing to do from a logistical perspective is hole up with my cat and not see another soul in person until a vaccine is invented or something, but I don’t know when that will happen. —Physical Distancing Do’s And Don’ts “This is really a matter of a personal risk/benefit calculation,” said Dr. Daniel Summers, a pediatrician who lives and works near Boston. “What PDDAD is willing to accept as a risk may be different from what someone else would.” And there’s definitely a health benefit to getting together—we are social animals and isolation is bad for us—but your lover is at high risk of infection. And when front-line health care providers get infected, they tend to get sicker than the average person who gets infected, according to
CNN, which is something else you need to factor into your risk/benefit calculation. Additionally, does your boyfriend’s workplace—I’m going to call him your boyfriend for clarity’s sake—have the protective gear he needs to minimize his risk of exposure? “We’re all doing our best to take as many preventive steps to lower our risk of being exposed,” said Dr. Summers, “but there’s still a maddeningly unacceptable shortage of personal protective equipment like masks, gowns and gloves nationwide. I hope he has sufficient access to these things. But is there a risk he could get exposed to the virus at work? Definitely.” Dr. Summers lives with his husband and four children and in addition to the precautions he takes at work—where he may be seeing patients with coronavirus (he doesn’t know for sure because tests still aren’t available)— Dr. Summers strips down to his underwear on his front porch of his home when he gets home from work. His clothes go straight into the washing machine, he goes straight into the shower. “I’m still afraid of bringing it home,” said Dr. Summers. “But with four kids home from school, my husband’s sanity depends on my being present as much as I can. So for me, staying away isn’t an option. That’s not the case for PDDAD. They have to decide whether the undefinable risk of exposure isn’t worth it. Or, alternatively, they can decide the connection they have with him is important enough to their own well being that the risk is worth it. But only they can make that decision for themselves.” If you decide the risk of infection is too great— or if your boyfriend decides the risk of infecting you is too great—you can still be there for each other. You can Skype and Zoom, you can text and sext, you can leave groceries on his porch and wave to him from the sidewalk. But if you decide to keep connecting with each other in person,
PDDAD, you should minimize the amount of time you spend moving through the city to get to each other’s places. And that means—emotional boundaries be damned—picking one of your apartments to hole up in together for the duration. You can follow Dr. Summers on Twitter (@ wfkars) and you can read him at Slate’s Outward. I’m pro sex workers, and believe adults should do whatever they consent to, but I’m curious if that applies during the current pandemic. I know of a sex worker who’s still offering himself to clients, who are apparently still hiring him. (He regularly posts of his exploits on certain social media sites.) Should the authorities be made aware of this? —Just Concerned If the authorities want to start rounding up reckless idiots who are endangering others, JC, the beaches of Florida might be a good place to start. Or the Oval Office. And if your first impulse is to involve the authorities then you aren’t “pro sex workers,” JC, because the authorities—particularly the police—are a danger to sex workers. Instead of calling the cops, reach out to this guy on those social media sites and encourage him to see his clients virtually, i.e. instead of face-to-face (or face-to-whatever) meetings, he should go full camwhore for the time being. So if you want to want to help, JC, and not just police or shame, you should hire this guy to do an online session. (And everyone should bear in mind that sex workers are suffering right now too because most are being responsible and not seeing clients. Their incomes have plummeted to zero and they aren’t eligible for unemployment benefits.)
SAVAGE LOVE
I’m a queer poly woman and I have a two-part question about sexting/Skype sex. I didn’t used to think twice about shooting off a nude or a nasty text in my 20s and I’ve never had qualms
about casual relations. But for me there has always needed to be a baseline of friendship. After getting burned a bunch of times—especially by straight men (queers and other genders are generally way kinder)—I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. Fast forward a few years, after doing a lot of work I started feeling myself again. I started talking with a man that I’d met through mutual friends and flirted with a little in the past. I was upfront with him and told him I would be down to get dirty again sometime but needed to build up some form of friendship first. He enthusiastically agreed and started talking to me about this and that every other day or so. We were talking about meeting up in person when the coronavirus lockdown happened, and now my libido has shot through the roof. We ended up exchanging photos and got off on FaceTime together. After that, crickets. I would send an innocuous question and get a two-word response. I feel really disrespected and used, but at the same time I can see how he doesn’t owe me anything. I was in a similar situation like this before where a man told me that no matter what he wanted our friendship to be a priority and then ghosted me immediately after we slept together. My questions: What can I do in the future to avoid this sort of situation? And, while we’re all in lockdown, do you have any advice on how to be hot over video when you’re generally a clumsy spaz? —Female Resents Insincere Efforts Necessitating Deceit Unfortunately, FRIEND, there’s no surefire way to prevent people from lying to you about being friends in order to get into your pants—virtually or eventually—or to prevent them from changing their minds about being friends once they’ve gotten into your pants. (The former is more likely, but the latter does happen.) Your only options are relying on your bullshit detectors to weed out people you think might be playing you and getting better at shrugging off, blocking, and forgetting the dishonest people who manage to get past your bullshit detectors. As for tips about being hot on Zoom or FaceTime or Fox Nation or whatever, I’m afraid I can’t help you there, FRIEND, as I am the clumsiest spaz that ever spazzed. I hate having my photo taken and if a room is dark enough for me to feel comfortable getting naked in it, it’s usually too dark for someone else to see me—whether they’re in the same room with me or sitting in front of a computer on the other side of the world. But someone who’s more at ease in front of the camera (and with whom I’m currently quarantined) tells me that slightly dimmed lighting is better than harsh lighting, leaving something on is hotter than taking it all off, and—if you want to maintain your anonymity—keeping your face and any identifying tattoos out of the shot is a good idea. Contact Dan via mail@savagelove.net, follow @fakedansavage on Twitter, and visit savagelovecast.com.
cltampa.com | MARCH 26-APRIL 1, 2020 | 37
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