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CREATIVE LOAFING • CLTAMPA.COM $FREE • AUG. 26-SEP. 01, 2021 (VOL.34, NO.34)

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf STAFF WRITER Justin Garcia FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman CONTRIBUTORS Jefferey C. Billman, Josh Bradley, Caroline DehBruhl, Dr. Amanda Hagood, Katlynn Mullins, Stephanie Powers, Jennifer Ring, Dan Savage

CLIFF BROWN

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PHOTOGRAPHERS Chandler Culotta, Dave Decker, Kimberly DeFalco, Phil DeSimone

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INTERN SeaWorldEDITORIAL in February, animalApply rightsfor fall via rroa@cltampa.com claiming the practice of keeping wild d dangerous. But even though public CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora atmany SeaWorld animal rights don’t in seeFebruary, a parallel between the kind claiming the practice of keeping wild ILLUSTRATORS Tyler Balkcom, Joe k, and the practice of displaying animals Newton, even Dan Perkins, Cory Robinson nd dangerous. though public asking for tooBut much? Or is it time for a d, many don’t see a parallel between the kind t” animals? SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

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ck and the practice of displaying animals Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda s asking for too much? Or is it time for a ent” animals? MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND

EVENTS DIRECTOR Alexis Quinn Chamberlain Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40 MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND Music Week ................................................... 42 EVENTS COORDINATOR Lauren Caplinger Music: Tampa Fest ........................... Concert review:Bay ArticBlues Monkeys ..........................40 42 EUCLID MEDIA GROUP 42 Music ................................................... The ListWeek .......................................................... 46 CHIEFreview: EXECUTIVE OFFICER Andrew Zelman Concert Artic Monkeys .......................... 42 Movie reviews..................................................... 63 CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS TheWill List Astrology .......................................................... Free ......................................... 64 Chris Keating, Michael Wagner46 Movie reviews ..................................................... 63 VP ........................................................... OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein Puzzler 66 DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Free Will Astrology ......................................... Savage Love ......................................................64 69 Jaime Monzon

euclidmediagroup.com Savage Love ...................................................... 69

EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 204 E. Henderson Ave., Tampa, FL, 33602. The physical edition is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampa.com. Copyright 2021, Tampa Weekly, LLC. The newspaper is produced and printed on How was your Date? Indigenous land belonging to Tampa Bay’s cltampa.com/movies How was your Date? Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.

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This is a Satanic agenda. Freedom is the only way out of captivity.

FOOD+DRINK �� 31 A&E �� 35 MUSIC WEEK �� 37

Meet your new antivaxx school board candidates, p. 15.

ORACLE OF YBOR �� 43 SAVAGE LOVE �� 45 CROSSWORD �� 47 ON THE COVER: Photo via cityofstpete/Flickr. Design by Jack Spatafora.

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With vocal talent like his, he can have whatever hairstyle he wants.

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Dream big

Charity guitar art show leads a quick list of things to do this weekend. By Stephanie Powers

Sacred Clown: Joe Rogan Something for the armchair physicians and DMT overdosers, err, aficionados, among us. After a year’s delay, Joe Rogan is finally coming to Tampa. The Joe Rogan Experience is the most popular podcast worldwide with over 190 million monthly downloads. From talks about weed and DMT to interviews with Tesla CEO Elon Musk, Rogan has range. He also adds some punching commentary for the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). But while colorful, his comedy is also controversial. Most recently, he took heat for questioning why young, healthy people would get vaccinated in April. And yeah, he said he would tell a 21-year-old not to get one. Of course, once Dr. Anthony Fauci corrected him, he said he is not anti-vax. Still, in the past, he’s made other questionable claims. Like the time he said hijabs don’t align with women’s rights. And the time he said members in the transgender community use their status to receive praise. Friday, Aug. 27, 8 p.m. $37.75 & up. Amalie Arena. 401 Channelside Dr., Tampa. amaliearea.com—Katie Delk An evening with Green Book of Tampa Bay Joshua Bean and Hillary Van Dyke started their Black-owned business directory, Green Book of Tampa Bay, in 2020 to ensure the economic vitality of Tampa Bay’s Black community during difficult times.

If you’re looking to buy Black in Tampa Bay, their online directory (greenbooktampabay.org) is truly your best resource. It’s organized by category and can help you find everything from a hairstylist to a place to eat. In addition to supporting Tampa Bay’s Blackowned businesses, Green Book of Tampa Bay nurtures Black artists and culture, as it’s doing now with a group art exhibit at the Studio@620. Want to know more? This Saturday, Aug. 28, The Studio@620 hosts an evening with Green Book Tampa Bay. Not only is this a great opportunity for you to see artwork by Tampa Bay Green Book artists, but it’s also a chance to get to know Tampa Bay Green Book in general. The evening includes a brief discussion of Tampa Bay Green Book’s History, an artist panel, and live performances by rapper Shadcore and jazz/R&B/ funk musicians Siobhan Monique and Sun De.’ Saturday, Aug. 28, 6-9 p.m. The Studio@620, 620 1st Ave S, St. Petersburg. Masks required. General Admission $10-$15. thestudioat620. org—Jennifer Ring

MERGECULTURE

asparilla Music Festival and Mergeculture Gallery have teamed up for an “Acoustic Dreams” art project benefiting Recycled Tunes, which gives underserved children access to musical instruments. Over 20 artists from Tampa Bay and Miami gave new life to damaged acoustic guitars to be sold by auction with half of the sales going to the local nonprofit. Artists involved include Douglas Hoekzema aka Hoxxoh, graffiti-legend Atomik, Chris Preston, photographer James Luedde, Cory Robinson (who submits weekly cartoons to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay), Conrad Garner, Wrdo, and Mize Gallery owner Chad Mize. After debuting at the University of Tampa’s Ferman Center for the Arts, the guitars are now headed to the Mergeculture Gallery‚ located at 1544 N Franklin St. near Cafe Hey where a public showing happens during the Bloom on Franklin block party on Aug. 27. Masks are recommended. Friday, Aug. 27, 7 p.m. Donations accepted. Mergeculture on Eventbrite

IN BLOOM: Ashley Cantero’s contribution to ‘Acoustic Dreams’ moving from University of Tampa to Franklin Street this weekend.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 7

Opting out Photos by Dave Decker

arents and teachers calling for the Pinellas County School board to defy Gov. Ron DeSantis’ ban on mask mandates gathered at the district’s administration building in Largo Tuesday morning. As expected, antimask and anti-vaccine protesters were also in attendance. Members of the anti-vaccine group Moms for Freedom, as well as Trump supporters flashing white power signs were among the counter protesters. But despite demands from concerned parents, and over 3,000 students and faculty currently in quarantine because of exposure to COVID-19, the board voted 4-3 to not hold

an emergency session on whether or not to impose a stricter 60-day mask mandate. For now, face masks will remain optional in Pinellas County classrooms. So far, Sarasota, Leon, Alachua, Broward, Miami-Dade, Palm Beach and Hillsborough school districts have enacted stricter mask requirements in spite of DeSantis’ executive order. The heated debate over masks in schools comes as multiple school board vacancies will be up for grabs 2022. So far, a handful of anti-vaxx and QAnon-adjacent candidates have already filed to run in both Hillsborough and Pinellas counties (read more on p. 15).—Colin Wolf

8 | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | cltampa.com

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 9

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10 | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 cltampa.com

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SHADES OF RED: It’s depressing to think about Clam Bayou being swamped and falling off the map.

POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

Temp check

Finding the wisdom and grounding we need to respond to climate anxiety. By Dr. Amanda Hagood

ummer in Florida makes me nervous, and not just for the normal reasons. Sure, there are hurricanes pinballing across the Gulf, algal blooms choking our shoreline with dead fish, and a heat-humidity combo that makes you feel, as a friend says, “like walking through somebody else’s mouth.” In a way, these are things I have come to expect from Florida, a state where nature has a flair for dramatically reasserting itself despite our best attempts to terraform it into oblivion. These are things that—taken separately, and until they start happening to you—can be weathered OK with open-toed shoes and comfortable clothing, rum drinks, and a reasonable tolerance for the Cone of Uncertainty (which pretty well describes my normal existential state anyway).

The problem, of course, is that they aren’t happening separately. And they are happening to us. Climate change, with its welter of disastrous effects, is unfolding faster and with greater intensity than we ever really believed it would. Rising sea levels are impacting coastal communities from Fort Lauderdale, which has installed an elaborate system of tidal valves to combat flooding, to Yankeetown, where saltwater intrusion has begun to create a rim of dead and dying trees where coastal forests used to be. Record-setting temperatures are driving more Floridians, particularly in our cities, to the doctor’s office with heat stress and respiratory illnesses worsened by climate change. Warmer waters are bleaching and

CITY WILDS

killing the coral reefs that support our fisheries, and even the seashells littering all of our yards and bookshelves bear the marks of climate-driven ocean acidification. And with changing storms and seas directly undermining the tourism, agriculture, real estate construction, and ports that uphold our economy, it’s no wonder that Susan Glickman, Florida Director for the Southern Alliance for Clean Energy, says “Floridians are feeling the heat and paying the price for climate change.” Now, into this noxious mix comes the latest report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), predicting that the earth will cross a dangerous threshold of a 1.5 degrees celsius rise in annual global temperature—a tipping point around which the Paris climate agreement is organized—in the 2030s (while noting that average temperatures and carbon emissions have increased, not decreased, since the 2015 agreement went into effect). The U.N. has

called the situation a “code red for humanity,” an emergency which is going to affect where we can live and what we can eat, and test our ability to protect basic human rights (which we aren’t exactly great at, even now). So yes, Florida summers make me nervous. For all the global significance of these transformations, there is something acutely local in the way I worry. I can’t stop imagining what my neighborhood, perched on the edge of Boca Ciega, will look like in 50 years: how favorite haunts like Clam Bayou, one of the largest remnants of tidal estuary in Pinellas County, will be swamped and fall off the map. How my 1930s beach bungalow will plunge, perhaps around its 100th birthday, from highly desirable real estate to abandoned property (probably after I have lost a great deal of money on it). How my son’s generation will struggle to find drinking water as saltwater pushes into our wells, and will face the constant continued on page 12

“There is something acutely local in the way I worry.”

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 11

continued from page 11 threat of superstorms that can punch out a community in a single stroke. How he maybe won’t be able to live out his whole life in the state where he was born. How do I describe a feeling at once so broad and yet so personal? “It’s like that crushing and squeezing feeling you get when you think about dying,” says my colleague Joanna Huxster, who teaches environmental communication classes at Eckerd College, reflecting on what it means to contemplate a future shaped by climate change. Or, as one of her students recently put it: “You know that feeling where your stomach drops out of your butt?” That kind of fear. It’s also wrestling with the fact that, as Florida writer Lauren Groff puts it, “We are failing the people we love the most if we allow climate change to go on.” That depth of terror, that weight of guilt, that flood of sorrow. But what if you really leaned into that feeling? What if you went ahead and imagined the whole state of Florida was flooded, and only a few scattered communities survived in the high-rises and hangars that remained above the surface? That is precisely what Miami-born writer Karen Russell does in her 2019 story “The Gondoliers.” The story imagines a perhaps nottoo-unlikely scenario in which a gigantic seawall built around South Florida catastrophically fails, drowning much of Miami and prompting the United State to officially abandon the city and the rest of its soggy home state. Among the holdouts who remain is Blister, a teenage girl who, along with her older sisters, makes a living by ferrying people safely across town, using a mysterious power of echolocation they have developed (this is a little less realistic, I suppose) to navigate their boats over the city’s many submerged hazards and toxic swamps. Blister’s story reaches a turning point when she takes on an older passenger who, bizarrely, asks to be taken to the flooded ruins of the seawall in the middle of an oncoming storm. As they travel, she learns that he is one of its architects, now on a suicidal grief quest to die at the scene of his greatest failure—taking her along for the ride. As the two struggle for control of the boat, a fascinating question emerges: do we, as readers, identify with the heartbroken architect, who sees the eerie post-apocalyptic waterscape around him through the lens of fear and loss, a clear testament to his hubris and the massive tragedy it caused? Or are we more like Blister, who finds it “hilariously inaccurate” that older folks think of her floating city—a niche she has literally evolved to survive in—as a “wasteland”? Of course, we are neither the gondolier nor the architect; as always, we readers are always stuck in the middle, triangulating our own position from the trajectories of conflicting characters. But it’s hard to resist the story’s premise that confidence and despair about the fate of the world contend

in the same boat, whether that boat represents our collective journey into the future or the thin shell that keeps each one of us afloat in turbulent times. In a 2019 interview with Esquire, Russell speculated: “I hope it doesn’t come to this, but even if Florida went totally underwater, I think that life would continue to find new ways. People would find a new way to live with water. And maybe to sit lightly on the water as these sisters do; they just couldn’t be bogged down by grief.” Perhaps this sounds a little optimistic, given the scale of destruction climate change promises us, but I think Russell is right about the magnetic pull of the world we know. Whether we grieve the loss of a familiar world transforming, or elevate the struggle to survive in a difficult place to the level of an art, we fiercely cling to the idea of home. “I think it’s hard to imagine these newborn generations not mourning the world that we’re living in,” Russel concluded, “but why should they? That wouldn’t even be on their map of reality.” If we could reframe future-Florida as a place as rich with the possibility of life as our own paradise, rather than a hopelessly diminished version of the place we know, maybe we could find the will and the way to act on its behalf.

adaptations we could be capable of doing to deal with destruction.” Let me be clear: I am not letting myself (or you) off the hook. I am not saying that we can stop sweating our carbon emissions (we can’t), that the future might not be all that bad (it very well could be), or that it is not a moral failing if we don’t do something to improve this situation (it definitely is). But I am saying that it’s important, as Huxster advises, to “hold space” for the feelings of fear, doubt, guilt, and rage that may arise when we look into a future inflected by climate change, “to understand where they come from and why.” This is a first and critical step to engaging our hearts and spirits, as well as our brains, in a struggle that will require all of these things. So if you, like me, feel a special kind of Florida-feverish as late summer comes around, remember that anxiety is a reasonable response to an existential threat. It’s part of the work that feelings do to help us survive. And if you follow it to its sources, you can often find the wisdom and grounding you need to respond.

“Reading fiction may be one way to help us practice ‘imaginative empathy.'”

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

CITY WILDS

Reading fiction is not going to save our state from climate change, especially if we’re all doing it inside with the AC cranked up to sub-Arctic. But it may be one way to help us practice what Bina Benkataraman, author of “The Optimist’s Telescope,” calls “imaginative empathy” with people who are experiencing and will experience the impacts of our actions (and our inaction). “Most of us,” she writes, “won’t act on the forecasts we receive without fully inhabiting the experience in our minds.” Stories like Russell’s can help us imagine and accept the full humanity of future people, who in too many conversations about climate change receive only empty rhetorical gestures. (How many times have you been urged to do something “for the children”? How many times did you actually do it?) Envisioning climate change through stories can also help us to shift our personal relationship to the future in significant ways. Huxster, a prodigious reader of climate fiction, agrees: “First of all, climate fiction affirms that there is a future,” she says with a wry smile. “And it can give you ideas about the kinds of

GOOD GROFF: Florida writer Lauren Groff said, ‘We are failing the people we love the most if we allow climate change to go on.’

12 | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | cltampa.com

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Courageous DURING COVID-19, YOUR SAFETY IS A PRIORITY AT MOFFITT

Breadcrumbs

Tampa Bay anti-vaxx school board candidates emerge. By Colin Wolf

Noethen did not respond to multiple requests for comment from Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. According to election documents, Noethen has raised zero dollars for her campaign. As for her opponents, Lisa Cane has raised nearly $3,000 and Brad DeCorte has raised zero. Besides QAnon quackery and photos with known white nationalists, Noethen has also trafficked information from the anti-vaccine group the Freedom Keepers. Recently, the nationwide group’s local chapter has been heavily involved with recruiting members to show up at legislative hearings and school board meetings to argue against COVID-19 preventative measures, such as vaccines and mask mandates. Another local anti-vaccine group, Moms for Freedom, has also been vocal at local school board meetings and is actually going as far as fundraising for, and running one of their own affiliates, Alysha “Aly Marie” Legge, as a school board candidate.

“These moves signal an important evolution for the QAnon movement,” wrote Collins, “which has fractured since Trump’s defeat, with many proponents rejecting the Q label but continuing to push ideas about societal conspiracies of child abuse. For the past month, the top of the Great Awakening, a leading online QAnon forum that calls itself the ‘public face of Q,’ has featured an abridged quote attributed to [Michael] Flynn, Trump’s first national security adviser and a hero to QAnon followers, who has sworn an oath to the community in the past. “Local action = national impact. Take responsibility for your school committees or boards. Get involved in the education of our children. Run for local, state and/or federal office,” reads the quote. “No more excuses.’” Last June, the National Education Association also warned of conspiracy theorists infiltrating school boards. “Across the county, conspiracy theorists and proponents of fake news are winning local elections,” wrote the union. “And their new positions give them a powerful voice in everything from local law enforcement to libraries, trash pickup to textbook purchases.”

ELECTIONS

PINELLAS COUNTY/YOUTUBE

ast week, nearly 9,000 students and teachers in Hillsborough County Schools were isolated or in quarantine because of exposure to COVID-19. While health officials and school administrators desperately urge people to mask up and get vaccinated, a new class of Tampa Bay school board candidates is doing the opposite, and are instead pushing anti-vaxx misinformation and QAnon conspiracy theories. Kaitlin Noethen, who has had her microphone muted at at least one school board meeting and was kicked out of an Einstein Bagels location for yelling about mask mandates, filed to run for Pinellas County School Board District 2 on July 21. “Pressure, fear, coercion, force, intimidation, manipulation, you’re all guilty of these for the past year,” said Noethen at a recent Pinellas County School Board meeting. “This is a Satanic agenda. Freedom is the only way out of captivity. Our time here on Earth is short, your time in hell will be longer. I urge you to choose truth and righteousness. That’s all I have to say, I’m going to end this with a song, because the flag still stands for freedom, and you can’t take that.” Noethen, who also goes by Kaitlin New, then begins to sing Lee Greenwood’s 1984 hit song “God Bless The U.S.A.” Noethen’s personal Facebook account is littered with anti-vaccine posts, calls for the CDC to be defunded, anti-Critical Race Theory (CRT) sentiment, claims that some medical professionals are actors, discounts to her cleaning business for people who aren’t vaccinated, and conspiracy theories tied to QAnon, the claim that former president Donald Trump is somehow fighting a secret war against an underground celebrityrun pedophile sex ring. In a post from May 4, Noethen regurgitated a popular and verifiably false QAnon-based conspiracy theory that Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced to protect his assets once he’s arrested for connections to Jeffrey Epstein. Noethen added that the divorce is a distraction from “their global eugenics program that’s wildy successful” and that “Melinda is a transgender.” In another post from July 19, she shared a post equating vaccine passports to Nazis forcing Jews to wear the yellow Star of David, writing “I did not N A Z I that coming.” And, a few weeks later, she posted a photo of herself with Enrique Tarrio, a convicted felon, FBI informant and leader of the Proud Boys, which is an SPLC-designated hate group that was heavily involved with the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. “My favorite part of being a Patriot is the people I meet along the way,” wrote Noethen. “Enrique Tarrio did nothing wrong!”

“How do we know for sure these children were really exposed and tested positive? We know there have been suggestions from parents on social Media wanting to just claim their child is positive or exposed to watch chaos ensue. (This information was provided in the last school board meeting),” wrote Legge. No evidence has been presented that Hillsborough County parents are faking COVID results. In the same post, Legge also seems to suggest that people who have tested positive, but are not symptomatic, should be subjected to the “discriminatory quarantine protocol.” “Change the discriminatory quarantine protocol so those that quarantine are symptomatic, just like with any other infection, regardless of mask or vaccine status,” wrote Legge. “Not quarantine those that are not masked, while those masked get an option,” she continued. “Not everyone exposed will fall ill or ever become symptomatic.” Legge did not respond to multiple requests for comment from CL. According to election documents, her campaign has raised $3,950 while her opponent, Karen Perez, has currently raised $13,000.

ENJOY THE SHOW: Kaitlin Noethen at an Aug. 10 Pinellas County Board of County Commissioners Meeting. Legge, a stay-at-home mom, filed to run for the Hillsborough County School Board District 6 on April 26. Earlier this week, as thousands of students and staff went into quarantine in Hillsborough County Legge postulated on her Facebook page that the spike in new COVID-19 cases might not be authentic.

It’s important to note that Tampa Bay’s new crop of anti-vaxx school board candidates is not unique. As NBC News' Ben Collins reports, since Donald Trump’s presidential defeat there’s been a large push from the QAnon community to run for local-level offices, distance themselves from the now tainted “Q” label, and lump in other conspiracy theories with anti-CRT sentiment.

Primaries for both Hillsborough and Pinellas Counties are Aug. 23, 2022, with the general election slated for Nov. 8. To qualify for the ballot, candidates need to either collect enough signatures or pay a fee. In Hillsborough, the signature threshold is 9,344, and the fee is $1,870.92. For Pinellas, the signature threshold is 7,185 and the fee is $1,865.20.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 15

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CHANDLER CULOTTA

Jury’s duty

POLICE STATE: Protesters on the corner of Dale Mabry Highway and Spruce Street on July 4, 2020.

Activists arrested at July 4 protest likely to face trial. By Justin Garcia

rotesters facing felony charges from a Black Lives Matter (BLM) march on the Fourth of July last year have moved beyond the pretrial phase of their case and could head to trial this week. On that day last year, BLM protesters marched on Dale Mabry Highway in West Tampa to protest police brutality. It was the height of the George Floyd uprising, and tensions were high between police and protesters after BLM activists had been met with aggression by police all summer long. Video obtained by Creative Loafing Tampa Bay from that day shows that as the protesters marched peacefully down the highway carrying a “Defund the Police” banner, Tampa Police Department (TPD) bicycle officers rushed into the crowd and accosted people, which police body cam footage also confirms. Multiple people were arrested that day and faced charges ranging from misdemeanors to felonies (see video at cltampa.com/magazine).

Despite the video evidence and an abundance of photos that show aggression by the police, three protesters are still facing charges. The defendants went past the pretrial portion of the proceedings last week, and may head to jury trial on Aug. 24., Michelle Lambo, defense attorney for two of the defendants, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Editor’s note: More news broke in the hours leading up to this going to print. Look for updates on cltampa.com/ news and in next week’s paper. Two of the defendants face charges that include battery on a law enforcement officer, a third degree felony charge that if prosecuted to its fullest could result in five years of prison. “These are young, smart kids who want to make a difference in the world,” Lambo added. “Their reward for their efforts is being brutalized by law enforcement and facing charges that could land them in jail and affect the rest of their lives.”

LOCAL NEWS

Along with the felony charges, Lambo’s two clients are facing misdemeanor charges of obstructing a roadway. One of the clients is also facing resisting arrest without violence. At a pretrial hearing last Tuesday, the State Attorney’s Office (SAO13), which is prosecuting the defendants, offered a plea deal to reduce the felony charges to misdemeanor resisting arrest without violence. But under this plea, both defendants would have to plead guilty to that misdemeanor, along with a misdemeanor charge of obstructing the roadway (Tampa City Code 14-41). The felony arrest could not be expunged from their records and would show up on criminal background searches, Lambo says. Grayson Kamm, chief communications officer for SAO13 confirmed that the charges the defendants are facing are correct, but that he’s not typically able to discuss details of plea negotiations. He confirmed that the last call hearing before the trial is next Monday, Aug. 23 and that defendants have the option to accept plea offers, plead guilty, or move onto the trial at that time. In regards to the video of the police accosting the protesters seemingly without provocation,

Kamm said, “As with any pending case, we’re not able to discuss the evidence until the case is concluded.” Marching down roadways to bring attention to racial injustice has a long history in America. The tactic was massively popularized by Martin Luther King Jr., who helped organize massive marches and boycotts in the name of civil rights. Last Wednesday, a national report by the Movement for Black Lives—in conjunction with the City University of New York School of Law—found that the federal government and law enforcement targeted BLM protesters via heavy-handed criminal prosecutions during the George Floyd uprising. In an interview with the Associated Press, Amara Enyia, The Movement for Black Lives’ Policy Research Coordinator, weighed in on what the report means. “We want to really show how the U.S. government has continued to persecute the Black movement by surveillance, by criminalizing protests, and by using the criminal legal system to prevent people from protesting and punishing them for being engaged in protests by attempting to curtail their First Amendment rights.”

“These are young, smart kids who want to make a difference in the world.”

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Dock talk

Activists gather at the Port of Tampa to protest Israeli shipping company. By Justin Garcia

ast Thursday, 10 activists gathered at the Port of Tampa to protest Zim, an international shipping company based in Israel that regularly sends ships to the port. The local Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) chapter led the event, pointing out that Zim often deals in Israeli manufactured military technology, armaments, and logistics equipment, and accounts for about 30% of Israel’s economy. “This protest is an opportunity to tell people that opposing Zim’s operations can help save Palestinian lives,” said Laith Abdel Hader, SJP member. The demonstrators spoke of the United Nations claim Israel is violating international law and is complicit in human rights abuses through its occupation of Palestine. They led several chants about the occupation and the crowd shouted along. Zim’s ships come into the Port of Tampa several times a month, said SJP members, who were

being watched by several Hillsborough County Sheriff’s officers. The officers had established a cone perimeter around the protesters to warn them from entering the roadway that leads to the entrance of the port. The Port of Tampa said to reach Zim about what was being shipped into the area. CL contacted Zim’s media department to ask what they are shipping to Tampa and who they are shipping it to, along with if they have a response to the protester’s claims, but did not receive a response. Ayman Salhab with SJP said that they believed a Zim ship is scheduled to arrive at the port on Friday afternoon around 3 p.m. He said that the main concentration of the protest was not necessarily what exactly is in Zim’s cargo, but that any profit made by the company helps support Israel’s occupation of Palestine. “It personally affects me, because myself, my family, and our people are displaced from our homeland by Israel’s actions,” Salhab said.

LOCAL NEWS

“We shouldn’t have to continue to watch our people suffer.” Salhab, Hader, and other SJP members have been going to the International Longshoremen’s Association (ILA) building in downtown Tampa at 6 a.m., when the workers gather, to explain the plight their people face. They’ve had heartto-heart conversations and many longshoremen have identified with the issues Palestinians encounter. “Ultimately, it’s really in the hands of the dock workers,” says Salhab. “They can choose not to participate in Israel’s crimes against humanity.” The SJP protest was titled “Block the Boat” on a flyer, which traditionally involves using direct action such as forming a picket line at a port entrance to make it harder for a ship to dock or be unloaded. But this protest was more geared at speaking to dock workers—many of whom were leaving work—and explaining why SJP protesters think they shouldn’t be complicit in Zim’s operations. Across the world, “Block the Boat” protests have occurred in the name of stopping Zim shipping. From the early 2000s until now, protests around the world have disrupted Zim shipments

from being unloaded. In South Africa, Italy, and San Francisco, dockworkers have refused to unload Zim’s ships. Where protesters have been successful in affecting Zim’s operations, there have often been coalitions that formed between activists and unions, which brought out large numbers of people to the demonstration. Though last Thursday’s gathering was small, there were members of several groups who were in alliance with SJP, such as Students For a Democratic Society (SDS), Freedom Road Socialist Organization, and The Party For Socialism and Liberation. SDS and SJP are currently calling on the University of South Florida to divest from Israeli business dealings and U.S. corporations that help displace Palestinians. The group is also giving support to the “Block the Boat” campaign. The activists say this is just the beginning, and there will be more actions to come. “It’s great that more people are getting involved,” said Simon Rowe, SDS member. “It’s important to make sure that our community is not supporting the oppression of the Palestinian people.”

“They can choose not to participate in Israel’s crimes against humanity.”

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Ch-ch-changes

WMNF’s GM resigns after less than two years. By Ray Roa

fter less than two years at the helm, WMNF’s Rick Fernandes is stepping down as general manager of the nearly 42-year-old nonprofit community radio station. Fernandes, who’s taking a position at a “major national media organization” informed staff of his decision to leave last Thursday morning. The station said his last day is Sept. 10; Finance and Administration Director Cindy Reichard will act as interim GM while a search for a new GM is conducted. Fernandes—a multiple Daytime Emmy winner—departs two years after WMNF 88.5-FM’s last GM Craig Kopp resigned amid controversy surrounding Kopp’s February 2019 firing of the station’s co-founder and news director Rob Lorei. Lorei won his job back after filing a grievance, but was fired again by Fernandes this spring. Lorei did not fight to get his job back after the second firing, but in recent weeks, WMNF and its former news director have again found themselves at odds over the reason for his termination. The backlash from Lorei’s firing and recent programming changes at WMNF have been a sore spot for listeners, some of whom demonstrated outside the station this month. When he resigned, Kopp described his situation at WMNF as “unworkable.” Not counting interim GMs or station managers Cindy Reichard and Mercedes Skelton, CL counts Fernandes—who was hired in October 2019—as WMNF’s 7th GM in 23 years. Before Kopp, WMNF was run by Sydney White (2012-2014, fired) and Jim Bennett (20092011, resigned). Bennett notably took over after Vicki Santa—arguably WMNF’s most beloved station manager, and appointed from within the station—passed away in 2008 after serving in the role for 8 years. Jean Palmquist, who was

GM before Santa, resigned after one year, citing personal reasons. Before Palmquist, Richard Eiswerth led the station for just two years (19961998) according to his LinkedIn profile. Over the weekend after the Fernandes resignation news broke, another past WMNF station manager, Greg Musselman, reached out to say he held a leadership position from 1990-1995. Lisa McCormack filled the role before Musselman. “Working at WMNF has been a pleasure and an honor,” Fernandes wrote in a release. “The organization is wholly devoted to serving its region through great journalism and volunteer-driven content, and I’m proud to have played a part in what everyone on this team has accomplished to ensure WMNF remains a pillar of the community for many years to come.” The press release added that “Fernandes created an endowment of more than $130,000, invested in a state-of-the-art podcasting studio” during his time at WMNF. In an email to CL on Aug. 25, WMNF Board President Will Greaves said the first step in the GM search is to send surveys to Board staff radioactivists (WMNF supporters) and general listenrrs to gauge how the community’s priorities have changed since the last search. “We are also trying to finalize the search committee, made up of members from all the different parts of our community. We hope to have all that created/digested and have the job posting up within the month. While I have heard from a couple people about the internal candidate [possibility], I can’t tell you at this point the plan until we get all that survey feedback.” Greaves said, adding that Fernandes refused to increase his own salary during his time at WMNF, citing a desire to see other staffers get a small bump during COVID.

LOCAL NEWS

KIMBERLY DEFALCO

RICK, ROLLING: Rick Fernandes (R) outside Tampa Theatre on July 2, 2021.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 21

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Take shelter

Council says Tampa’s 2022 budget needs more affordable housing funds. By Justin Garcia

n Aug. 16, Tampa City Council held a special workshop solely focused on Tampa’s 2022 budget, which was presented by Mayor Jane Castor on Aug. 5. During the meeting, the most urgent need cited over and over again by council members was affordable housing. “Housing is a big crisis,” said council chair Orlando Gudes during the meeting. He said that the city needs to look out for everybody’s needs, especially the underprivileged who often need quality, accessible housing. Councilman John Dingfelder pointed out that the economy and people’s lives have been deeply impacted by the effects of COVID-19, and that affordable housing is urgently needed in Tampa, especially at a time when renters are currently facing an “avalanche” of evictions when the Center For Disease Control’s eviction moratorium expires. Dingfelder suggested that one way to put more money into affordable housing in next year’s budget is to use the American Rescue Plan (ARPA) funds that are slated to go to Tampa’s solid waste department. Currently, $5.5 million of ARPA funds are slated to go to a capital project for a waste transfer station at McKay Bay. Councilmembers pointed out that a $50 million bond is already going to be used for that project, and said that the solid waste department could for now add the $5.5 million to that bond to be paid off over a number of years. The

ARPA funds could then be freed to go to the city’s “Housing and Community Development” budget. Although council members are not able to make this budgeting decision for 2022, Gudes and Dingfelder pointed out that they’ve worked with the current administration on many issues, and hoped that their request for the budget would be heard. Currently, Castor’s proposed budget for Housing and Community Development is at $16.1 million. The added funds would increase that funding to $21.6 million. The Housing and Community Development funds currently calls for: • Unrestricted Owner Occupied Rehabilitation for recipients earning >80% Average Median Income and/or with home repairs costing >$50,000 • Rental Infill- New fund to activate unused units in existing developments • Homeless Outreach - To directly support a range of sheltering options for the homeless population • Build-Ready program – Targeted and strategic property acquisition and/or parcel remediation to reduce the cost of building income-qualifying units Mayor Castor’s proposed budget, which will have hearings in September before it is approved, can be found via tampa.gov/budget.

LOCAL NEWS

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SHOW ME THE MONEY: Tampa City Councilmembers would like to see at least $21.6 million for affordable housing.

Uncovered

Video shows TPD clearing houseless people who took cover from rain. By Justin Garcia

n the evening of Aug. 11, a summer storm the expulsion of the people were included. passed through Tampa, and an estimated “This was a self-initiated call due to ongo30 houseless people sought refuge under ing complaints,” Jamel Lanee, Public Safety two large bus shelters in downtown. Information Coordinator for TPD wrote in an They rested and ate dinner under the shel- email. “We have been working with HART ters near the corner of N Marion and E Tyler regarding complaints from the company and Street, until five responding units from the customers. We have a signed Trespass Affidavit Tampa Police Department (TPD) arrived to on file, which allows us to ask people to leave the move them from the property. property when HART or security is not around.” TPD bodycam footage obtained by Creative CL asked if it is standard operating proLoafing Tampa Bay shows one of the cedure for officers to not include responding officers—whose bodythat they moved a large group of cam footage begins after people are people from shelter in the report, already being dispersed—approach and Lanee said that notes are not a sleeping person on a bench, lean in required for every call. to make contact, and tell them, “You gotta go.” “There was no police action taken (No citaThe video (available via cltampa.com/maga- tions or warnings were issued) therefore no zine) then shows the person wake up, wrap up report is required because everyone complied,” their sleeping bag, and join the rest of the crowd Lanee wrote. in leaving from the sheltered area. Last year, the Downtown River Arts Volunteers from Tampa Food Not Bombs Neighborhood Association (DRANA) was granted (FNB) had just brought dinner as part of the $100,000 for more policing in downtown from organization’s mission to help the unhoused. Tampa’s Downtown Community Redevelopment The people police forced out were just trying Agency (CRA). In the announcement about the to rest in peace after their meal, and no one funds, DRANA said that the extra policing was else was attempting to use the bus shelters at expected to begin in early Summer of 2021, and that time of night, that one of their according to FNB main concerns volunteers. was what they After TPD called “homeless posted no tresissues.” passing signs DR A NA’s under the downPresident Dan town underhangs Traugott conthey usually firmed that the funds are curgather at, the shelters are some PROTECT AND SERVE: TPD working near the corner rently being used of the last places for increased of N Marion and E Tyler Street. houseless people downtown police have to seek refuge from the rain and heat. presence, but did not elaborate further. He FNB posted a video of the incident, writing referred CL to the downtown CRA and CL in the caption, “Tonight during our share the reached out with questions about the funding monsters showed up out of nowhere to harass and how it’s being used but has yet to hear back. At the time that DRANA received the fundour unhoused friends downtown.” The video shows multiple squad cars pulling ing, FNB issued a statement to CL about what up with their lights flashing, and an undercover the increase of policing might mean for the police vehicle riding by and observing the people homeless community. as they disperse. “The police will often violently physically Volunteers from FNB say the police told evict people out of places where they are residing. the unhoused people they were trespassing on They steal tents, sleeping bags and backpacks Hillsborough Area Regional Transit (HART) as well as other essential items our houseless property by being under the bus shelters, and neighbors need to survive,” FNB wrote. “They get arrested and ticketed for ‘panhandling’ with had to move. CL obtained a police report of the incident, no way to make bail, or they hand out virtual which confirmed that five units arrived on the court dates knowing these people have extremely scene around 8 p.m. In the report, the incident limited resources to a computer or the internet. was only referred to as a “building check,” that We believe an inflated police budget will increase the situation was “cleared,” but no details about the harm done to our houseless neighbors.”

LOCAL NEWS

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First gradually, then suddenly How to lose a war in the graveyard of empires.

n Nov. 2, 2001, The New York Times’ Thomas Friedman, one of the world’s most influential columnists, wrote, “A month into the war in Afghanistan, the hand-wringing has already begun over how long this might last. Let’s all take a deep breath and repeat after me: Give war a chance.” We gave war a chance for 20 years. Nearly 2,500 U.S. servicemembers and some 170,000 Afghans died. And then everything went to shit overnight. Actually, it only looked like everything went to shit overnight. The reality is more like that Hemingway line about the two ways you go bankrupt: “Gradually, then suddenly.” Let’s not mince words: Joe Biden owns the suddenly. The chaotic withdrawal was a failure of planning, intelligence, policy, imagination, whatever you want to call it. Biden set the U.S.’s end-of-August withdrawal deadline in April. The White House knew the Taliban was advancing. It knew the Afghan government was weak. It knew it had tens of thousands of Americans and Afghan allies to evacuate and a huge visa backlog to work through. Events happened faster than anticipated, but that doesn’t excuse the scenes outside the Kabul airport, the reports of Americans being beaten by the Taliban as they tried to escape, the betrayal of those abandoned to the new regime. Nor does it excuse Biden’s apparent footdragging on flying out Afghans because he worried about the optics—in other words, that conservatives would fearmonger about refugees and terrorism and the immigration. (They are; it just shouldn’t matter.) Biden claims there was no way to stage a non-chaotic withdrawal, and some of his defenders argue that an overly hawkish media has lost perspective. On CNN this weekend, former George W. Bush strategist-turned-critic Matthew Dowd called the coverage “way over the top,” pointing out that the White House has so far evacuated at least 30,000 people without losing an American life. Perhaps, but this nonetheless represents a stain on Biden’s presidency. What went wrong will be dissected and debated for years. But something did, and on Biden’s watch—and many Afghans will suffer for it. (Polling suggests Biden is paying, too.) As much as Biden’s critics want failure to be an orphan, however, there’s more than enough

blame to go around. The gradually piece was a bipartisan, multi-decade, multi-trillion-dollar misadventure doomed almost from the start. America went into Afghanistan full of hubris and bravado, high on post-9/11 moral superiority and looking to kick Jihadi ass for the Red, White, and Blue. But after failing to capture Osama bin Laden in December 2001, the Bush administration pivoted to more politically convenient ass-kicking in Iraq while Afghanistan turned into the perpetual, no-win slog of “nation-building.” As Dowd told CNN: “The original sin of the problem we’re seeing unfolding and everything that’s happened in 20 years is at [Bush’s] doorstep.” The original sin, yes. But he wasn’t the only sinner. Soon after taking office, President Obama— who, having opposed Iraq, decided Afghanistan was the “good” war—ordered a “surge” of troops to halt Afghanistan’s deterioration. His administration spent $6 billion a year to equip and train the Afghan military, but—despite public pronouncements to the contrary—its forces could never stand on their own. Yet in late 2014, Obama declared the war over, though nearly 11,000 American troops remained. But the wheels of the Taliban’s victory were set in motion by Donald Trump, whose secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, signed an agreement in February 2020 that amounted to little more than capitulation. Trump agreed to remove U.S. troops by May 1, 2021—Biden delayed it by several months—and arrange for the release of 5,000 Taliban prisoners. In exchange, the Taliban promised to negotiate with the Afghan government—not give up its military campaign or agree to power-sharing—and refrain from terrorism. Unsurprisingly, the agreement “left many Afghan forces demoralized, bringing into stark relief the corrupt impulses of many Afghan officials and their tenuous loyalty to the country’s central government,” The Washington Post reported. After Trump pulled out all but 2,500 troops, the Taliban made its move, striking deals with Afghan officials in rural areas, then provincial capitals, and finally culminating in the negotiated surrender of Afghan forces earlier this month. And while Trump and Pompeo now insist

INFORMED DISSENT

“For 20 years, presidents have studiously avoided being The Guy Who Lost Afghanistan.”

OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE PHOTO BY HANNAH FOSLIEN

By Jeffrey C. Billman

GAVE WAR A CHANCE: Afghans will suffer for Biden’s choices, but he can’t shoulder all of the blame. they would have gotten Americans and Afghan allies out safely, the Trump administration is largely responsible for the Afghan visa backlog that has bedeviled Biden’s State Department. So it’s not without justification that Biden blames Trump for hooking him to a bad deal. But Biden didn’t leave merely because his hands were tied. He got out because he wanted out. He’s believed the U.S. should leave since he was Obama’s VP. For 20 years, presidents have studiously avoided being The Guy Who Lost Afghanistan and worried about opposing a media groupthink that views U.S. military occupation as an objective good. For better or worse, Biden ripped off the Band-Aid. It’s not unreasonable to question whether withdrawal was the right decision. After all, a relatively small commitment (about 10,000 troops) and minimal sacrifice (63 deaths since

2017) had kept the Taliban at bay; maintaining it might have preserved Afghanistan’s liberalization, especially for women and girls. Of course, that commitment would have required reversing Trump’s withdrawals and reneging on his deal with the Taliban, which likely would have ignited a new round of intense fighting. It would also have to be indefinite, come in support of a thoroughly corrupt government, and face opposition from more than two-thirds of Americans. There were no good options. There haven’t been since we strode into the graveyard of empires—an unconquerable country that turned back the British Empire and the Soviet Union— determined to win an unwinnable war. This was a quagmire of our own making. And before we lost it suddenly, we’d lost it gradually. Subscribe to Informed Dissent at billman. substack.com.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 25

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Shit Happened THURSDAY 19

SUNDAY 22

SOLARISYS/ADOBE

The average cost for a gallon of unleaded gasoline in Florida was $2.98, down about 3 cents from a week earlier. Totally blaming this on Biden, oh wait.

TUESDAY 24

SATURDAY 21 NIKKIFRIED/TWITTER

Nikki Fried posts, “If you elect me governor, I will legalize marijuana in Florida” on Twitter. Ron DeSantis responds, “Hold my Swisher Sweet.”

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

The government of the Bahamas declared a blockade against cruise ships that arrive without proof that everyone onboard eligible for COVID-19 vaccinations has had their shots. DeSantis supporters at the buffet line say they didn’t like those crystal blue waters anyway.

After one of his 32-year-old deputies died of COVID-19, Polk Co. Sheriff Grady Judd says, “This virus is real and it’s deadly… Listen to the doctors, don’t listen to the politicians.” Guess he’s deep state now. ¯\_(:)_/¯

St. Pete’s primary election is happening, but folks say interest in the races and ballot is low. Guess getting people out of their homes isn’t exclusively the Rays’ problem. Shit’s getting old, but we’re soldiering on. Join us in real time via cltampa.com/news.

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RESTAURANTS

RECIPES

DINING GUIDES

Merrily down wine stream

New life for an old Tampa cigar factory, plus more local foodie news. By Stephanie Powers and Katlynn Mullins

Open Ti Bamboo The Caribbean restaurant and lounge quietly opened its doors back in June near DMG Caffe and The Omega Club. You shouldn’t have any problem finding the place, though. It’s the building with Derek Donelly’s Bob Marley mural painted on the outside, and it’s lined with red, yellow and green picnic tables. The menu offers kid-safe eats like chicken tenders and grilled cheese, but you can also find dishes like oxtail and beans (braised oxtails and beans served alongside rice, peas and vegetables) and “escoveitched whole fish,” a whole snapper dredged in flour and deep fried, served with escovitch sauce (Jamaican pickle sauce), rice and peas, callaloo and fried plantains. 9291 Dr. MLK Jr. St. N, St. Petersburg. @tibamboo on Instagram Coming soon Cinnaholic Offering a bit more than your average vegan pastry, Cinnaholic’s opening

is set for fall or winter this year. While an exact date hasn’t been announced, the vegan joint has been teasing its baked goods since March on Instagram. Not only can you expect brownies and edible cookie dough, but you’ll also be able to customize your own cinnamon rolls with 18 icing flavors and over 20 topping options. If you’re not feeling creative, reach for the specialty rolls like Cookie Monster—coated with cream cheese frosting and topped with cookie dough, chocolate chips and chocolate sauce—or Tropical Bliss. This roll is topped with raspberry frosting, blueberries, bananas and coconut. To keep up with the latest, and to know when the grand opening deets are revealed, head over to @cinnaholic. southtampa on Instagram. 927 S Howard Ave., Tampa. cinnaholic.com Daddies Donuts and Delites Downtown St. Petersburg’s newest sweets spot is set to

OPENINGS & CLOSINGS

Mad Beach a popular tourist destination. As far as food goes, expect a few favorites to travel over, like the Jelly Donut Burger, but also a few new dishes that have yet to be announced. Owner of the popular John’s Pass brewery Matthew Powers told the Tampa Bay Times that the company had been looking for a second St. Pete location. When a contract fell through, Powers found his opportunity and took it. Demo on the historic building has been underway since April, and the restaurant has said it’ll bring in paranormal investigators to have a look around the possibly haunted destination. 2221 4th St. N, St. Petersburg. @ seshstpete on Instagram ICYMI Busch Gardens Tampa Bay is getting Florida’s first Chick-fil-A location inside a theme park The new spot plans to debut sometime this fall, taking over the former Bengal Bistro in the Jungala area of the park. Like regular Chick-fil-A locations, the new BG version will offer the typical lunch and dinner menu items, and will, of course, be closed on Sundays. And yes, Chick-fil-A’s CEO is still supporting anti-LGBTQ groups. 10165 McKinley Dr., Tampa. buschgardens.com—Colin Wolf

GOOGLE MAPS

he Y. Pendas y Alvarez Cigar Factory in Old West Tampa will soon be the new home to distribution company, Wine Stream, complete with a tasting room, Italian food market and pizza parlor, Paul Guzzo reports. Wine Stream, currently located in Drew Park, is a family-owned business that imports wine from Italy, kegs it, then sells it to Florida restaurants—if you’ve seen wine on tap at your favorite spot it’s probably supplied by them. It also rents wine kegs for events, providing a “a very elegant and cost effective option to your big and small event.” Ted Boscaino and family signed a lease-toown agreement for the building and will put $3 million dollars into renovations. According to Tampa’s Accela Citizen Access site, the major renovations are happening on the first floor of the historic building, the second and third floor will remain “shell spaces.” The basement will store the kegs, which can age, literally, forever. The warehouse, bar, and restaurant part of the project are expected to open in January— but there’s no estimate on the food market and eventual offices and event space to come on the higher floors. 2301 N Albany Ave., Tampa. wine-stream.com

debut this September in the old Iceburg Rolled Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt. It'll live right next to Il Ritorno, according to I Love the Burg, so if you’re in the mood for after-dinner donuts and cookies, Daddies is closest. The concept has been teasing its creations on Instagram since early May, posting everything from Tootie Frootie donuts covered in Fruity Pebbles to buckeyes and breakfast casserole. While the shop has special donuts, you can also keep it simple and opt for regular chocolate or vanilla with sprinkles, and even a cake pop if you want something small. The specialty donuts include everything from french toast and ever-classic boston creme to a more unique Twix creation (a chocolate iced donut with caramel drizzle, complete with a piece of a Twix bar stuffed in the middle). 449 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. @daddiesdonutsanddelites on Instagram Sesh A new brewery and restaurant from Mad Beach Craft Brewing Company, is set to open at Fourth Street’s historic Earl Gresh Cottage (previously a Melting Pot) in early 2022, according to I Love the Burg. The new concept will serve the same brews that made

OLD IS NEW: This Old West Tampa cigar factory will soon be a winery, tasting room and Italian market.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 31

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34 | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | cltampa.com

A&E EVENTS MOVIES

THEATER

ART

CULTURE

Historic call

St. Pete museum wants to document locals’ history, plus more A&E news. By Stephanie Powers

Tampa Bay photographer stages exhibition dedicated to local dive bars The subject of photographer Patricia Preston Mastry’s latest show is not something people usually see beauty in—the dive bar bathroom. But thanks to Mastry’s black and white snaps, the normally smelly scenes are works of art. Mastry knows the dive bar world well, her husband, Rick Mastry, is part owner of St. Pete’s Mastry’s Bar & Grill, Paul Guzzo reports. The Central Avenue staple is, of course, part of the show—happening at another iconic dive, Emerald Bar at 550 Central Ave N., now until Thursday, Sept. 9. Beak’s Old Key West, Gaspar’s Grotto, Mahuffer’s, The Reservoir, Tiny Tap and, of course, The Hub are some of the subjects. (If you want to see more pics of The Hub’s bathroom visit @the.hubs.bathroom on Instagram.) Only 10 prints of each photo are available for sale, which you can also buy at patriciaprestonmastry.com.

Tampa Museum of Art’s ‘Pride and Passion’ LGBTQIA+ fundraiser happens on Saturday The 15th annual Pride and Passion—one of Tampa Bay’s most stylish fundraising events— is happening Saturday, Aug. 28 at the Tampa Museum of Art, after taking a break in 2020. The theme is “Neon Jungle” so get dressed in your “finest tropical resort chic with pops of neon and inspired by the animal within.” If you need inspiration for your outfit, check out the event’s Pinterest page, but remember that buying a ticket means you agree to be photographed and filmed, so you’re going to want to look your best. All money raised benefits the LGBTQIA+ community and this

St. Petersburg’s MAR artist hub celebrates anniversary with Sunday street party Performing arts incubator The Mar St. Pete celebrates its first anniversary Sunday, Aug. 29 with a free street party and everyone’s invited. The Mar, located at 2309 Central Ave. in the Grand Central District, opened Sept. 1, 2020 so making it through the pandemic is definitely worthy of commemoration. “Drawing on their 40 years of combined entertainment industry experience, owners Dave and Heather Hamar brought their dream of

creating a community space to serve local artists to life in the middle of the most challenging economy of this century…,” a release said. The celebration happens from 4 p.m.-9 p.m. with a ton of local vendors including Grit & Grind Design (handcrafted wooden flowers), Imagine Deeply by Nadia (resin, geode, and mixed media art), Catie Unthreaded (cross stitch and embroidery art), and Sunshine Chaos Designs (laser cut wall art). The Fat Chick food truck will serve comfort food like strawberry nachos, s’more quesadillas, and parmesan fries. Performances—starting at 7 p.m.— include the Universal Rock School student band Oceanize, Hip Expressions dancers, and DiffChurch Band. And though Mar stands for “Mistakes Are Required” can we also make it ‘Masks are required’ when out in this COVID-19 filled world? For more information, go to themarstpete. com.

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

he St. Petersburg Museum of History is looking for photographs, objects, documents and stories “that share the African American and LGBTQIA+ experiences from St. Petersburg.” “We are able to create exhibits and share the stories of our past because of the fascinating items donated to the Museum over the years,” Executive Director Rui Farias wrote in a press release. “Whether it’s an old photograph, a cherished keepsake from a past hotel or attraction, or a love letter, those items help us dig deeper into our unique history.” “We’ve discovered that families have these items passed down from generation to generation and don’t know what to do with them,” Farias said. So if you have something that has been collecting dust, think about donating. Your items will be in good hands. The 99-year-old museum, located at 335 2nd Ave. NE, is the keeper of the city’s archives with thousands of historical items kept safe. And if you don’t have anything physical to give, community members’ oral histories—past and present—are recorded and saved in the archives. To donate items, or to share a story, contact Jessy Breckenridge at (727) 894-1052, ext. 203 or email her at jessica@spmoh.org.

year, the event has partnered with nonprofit Metro Health to provide programs focusing on queer youth. The 21-and-up party costs $90 for members, $100 for non-members and $125 for tickets purchased at the door—they all include an open bar, hors d’oeuvres and dessert. For tickets or more information, go to tampamuseum.org.

FREE STORAGE: St. Pete’s Museum of History wants your photos and knicknacks.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 35

36 | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | cltampa.com

THU AUGUST 26 – THU SEPTEMBER 02

By Stephanie Powers C

CL Recommends

FRI 27

C Applebutter Express w/The Blurry Truth Kyle and Shannon Biss, and the rest of the The Applebutter Express, are bringing Best of the Bay-winning bluegrass back to the Skipperdome for a 21-and-up show where ukulele, harmonies, and pretty funny lyrics (listen to the band’s 2011 self-titled LP), come together for an Appalachian good time. Indie-acoustic outfit The Blurry Truth opens at this recently-reopened Floribbean restaurant where the venue’s COVID-19 protocols, updated Aug. 12, include an upper deck “safe zone” where masks are required. They’re also required when you stand in any line: merchandise, bar, or bathroom. The dance floor, and the rest of the show area, are mask optional. Skipper’s also requests that you only fist-bump friends and staff, 86 hugs for now. (Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa) C Fourth Friday: Endless Summer feat. J’nelle w/Jinx/Parriss & The Night Parris & the Night, I see you. Never really heard of you before, but the new single

“Wizard Wave” is magically bizarre with flutes and hypnotic beats—and I can’t stop hitting repeat. I don’t think it’s a one hit wonder either, listening to the other songs like “Thirsty” got me believing in the R&B-ish three-piece. The new St. Petersburg band joins J’nelle (check out her new EP Mirror) and Jinx, one of Tampa’s best emcees, for the Straz’s Fourth Friday outdoor concert series. Much thanks to the venue for realizing we are still in a pandemic—its COVID-19 protocols are constantly updated at strazcenter.org. (Riverwalk Stage at David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa) C HGWT w/FayRoy If you haven’t checked out the Floridian Social Club, aka the fancy new remodeled State Theatre, Friday night is a good chance thanks to this Have Gun, Will Travel show (it’s also your opprtunity to hear the Tampa Bay Americana favorite in-person and not through a Chevy commercial on your couch). Indian Rock Beach’s FayRoy opens the free concert bringing black-eyeliner surfrock straight from beach to the stage. You can really smell the salty air in the songs, especially on the four-piece’s 2020 live album Lonely Summer—Dick Dale cover and all. The show is unticketed, but if you want a good table or an upgrade to VIP, make reservations online. (Floridian Social Club, St. Petersburg)

Kenzie Wheeler

CLIFF BROWN

C House of I w/Viewers Like You/His Hem Former-Miami band House of I now calls Tampa home, and that means we get to see its ‘90s-reminiscent indie-rock on a regular basis. Check out the four-piece’s new video “Shame” to hear Dinosaur Jr.-like riffs but with a much bigger vocal range than J Mascis (no hate mail, I love the gray-haired singer). This gig is the first for alt-rockers Viewers Like You since pre-pandemic, with Tyler Coy, aka Panda Paws, filling in for bassist Mark Slevak then switching to keys when Slevak returns from new dad duty. “Loud, gay, harp music”— now with guitars—from His Hem rounds out the bill at this the free West River concert. Masks are recommended, don’t let the delta get you. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa) C Kenzie Wheeler Florida resident and “The Voice” Season 20 runner-up Kenzie Wheeler wears his mullet with pride— and with vocal talent like his, he can have whatever hairstyle he wants. The 23-yearold Dover singer wooed the reality show’s judges and audience with a low-country crooning transcendent of his age. His version of “He Stopped Loving Her Today” might impress George Jones himself if he was still alive. Wheeler just signed with Ybor’s Five 5 Studios—where he’s working with a talented team that includes Grammy-winning

producer (and burgeoning band photographer??) Cliff Brown—so expect to see more of him around these parts, including at this 18 and over Friday night show. There’s no word of any kind of mask recommendation at the Bull (the club (sort of) found a way to get around it back when a mandate was in place) so you’re probably on your own there. If you’re a superfan of the NBC show, Season 16 contestant and country singer Presley Tennant is in Ybor City this weekend, at The Attic on Saturday. (Dallas Bull, Tampa)

SAT 28

Bryce Vine w/Blanco Brown It’s a brave thing having an outside show during Florida’s hurricane season, but Tik Tok star and hip hopindie pop artist Bryce Vine seems up to the task. He’s a former contestant on “The Glee Project”—a reality show based on the popular show that this Gleek misses—and has been working hard since he was a kid, leading up to his breakthrough hit “Sour Patch Kids.” His music is like candy—catchy, sweet, addictive and probably bad for you in unreasonable quantities. Country-rapper Blanco Brown— who just got tapped to open a U.S. tour with

continued on page 38

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 37

continued from page 37 Nelly—opens this all-ages show. Get ready to line-dance to “The Git Up,” and try not to tap your toes. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg) C Horsewhip w/Colonial Wound/Wreath/ Ephemera Blaq If there was ever a Tampa Bay band to rattle you out of a COVID-19 cage, it’s Horsewhip. The St. Petersburg outfit with deep roots in the local hardcore scene has a new lineup and is ready to return to the live setting with an outdoor early show that’ll be over by 10 p.m. We’re hoping Horsewhip shows off some of the new stuff the quartet’s been working on with Gainesville engineer John Howard (who had his hands all over on Yashira’s brutally beautiful 2018 album Shrine). Members of Yashira are in Jacksonville band Colonial Wound which returns to St. Pete after playing a free show at The Bends in 2019, and Tampa hard-rock favorite Wreath is also on the bill with Ricky Seelbach project Ephemera Blaq. Find Horsewhip’s Jeff Howe at Nah Dogs, the vegan ween stand he runs with his wife Jenny, in between sets. (Wild Roots, St. Petersburg)—Ray Roa Sexbruise? South Carolina band Sexbruise? is all about having fun, so don’t take its satirical spin on pop too seriously. I mean the foursome’s latest song “We Don’t Have the Virus” comes from the album Covid-69. Too soon? Not really, because the only thing we can really do is laugh at this point. And get vaccinated. And wear a mask. And since the band is heading into the trenches where the delta variant is thriving, if it isn’t careful down here Sexbruise? might be singing a different tune. Or you can just go on doing what a lot of people are doing and “Dance Like Ur Stupid.” Just stay six feet away from me, please. (Union Hall, Lakeland)

MON 30

Wave Theory Hospitality Night: Elana Gilbert w/Nico Sweet/KidArsenic/Ayam/ DJ DFaz The Wave Theory folks have another reason for servers, cooks and, maybe even a host or two, to get turnt on a Monday thanks to this monthly in Ybor City. It’s always good to see hip-hop artist Nico Sweet, whose space-jazzy single “Potluck” dropped in June. Clearwater singer Ayam, emcee KidArsenic and Elana Gilbert round out the musical acts with visual art from Tampa’s favorite Zaddy, Cam Parker, plus Devin Bennet, Pearl, Gun, and LeLe. Host Mike Mass, DJ DFaz, and a custom craft cocktail menu tie the night together. Forgive your server if they seem hungover on Tuesday. (First Chance Last Chance, Ybor City)

THU 02

C Rock the Park: Gat$ w/Speak Easy The rain gods kept Rock the Park going last month, so whatever you did in August, keep it the same. Even bust out the underwear you had on because we’re almost to the Florida summer goal line—aka the end of hurricane season. For this month’s show, St. Pete indie-soul outfit Speak Easy comes through with O’Jays-reminiscent warm harmonies that could rival Steely Dan. Also on the bill, and fresh off a set at Rolling Loud Miami, is Tampa emcee Gat$ whose May-released album “Robbed” shows hope through pain in a musically masterful way; whether this free Thursday show gets rained out or not, see Gat$ again at the return of Gat$amania on Sept. 12.

SUN 29

C Bird Lives! A 101st Anniversary Tribute to Charlie Bird Parker COVID canceled Tampa Jazz Club’s Charlie Parker’s 100th birthday party last year, so the group is paying tribute to what would have been the iconic jazz musician’s 101st year with “Bird Lives!” Saxophonists Austin Vickrey, Jack Wilkins, Valerie Gillespie and Jon Cesteros are joined by two new-to-the-area University of South Florida master degree students Ross Strauser and Aaron West. La Lucha—John O’Leary, Alejandro Arenas, and Mark Feinman—provides the rhythm for a show that kicks off the club’s 2021-22 season which includes Acme Jazz Garage in December. Masks are required for everyone, vaxxed or not. (Hillsborough Community College, Ybor City)

COURTESY

C Acme Jazz Garage Sharkskin doesn’t come out until Aug. 27, but Acme Jazz Garage will preview the slick, 12-track LP at this no cover, Seminole Heights Sunday Soul Food matinee where the Tampa jazz outfit welcomes pop and soul songwriter-singer Shelby Sol to the stage. The band has refined its sound over the last 10 years but took a risk and opened up its aesthetic and approach as it welcomed a host of collaborators, including Sol and the Imperial Polk Horns, who all recorded just a few miles away at Sulphur Springs’ historic Springs Theatre. Reservations and masks are strongly encouraged. (Ella’s Americana Folk Art Cafe, Tampa)—Ray Roa

Acme Jazz Garage

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No Comps: New concerts coming to Tampa Bay

MAIN STREET ZEPHYRHILLS PRESENTS:

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The surviving members of TLC—Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins and Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas—have a September festival gig booked at St. Augustine’s Sing Out Loud, but they’re bringing the CrazySexyCool party to Tampa, too. Tickets to see TLC play the Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa, Florida on Thursday, Oct. 21 at 8 p.m. are on sale now and start at $80. TLC came to fame on the strength of its starmaking 1994 sophomore LP, CrazySexyCool, End Of Summer Bash ‘21: Diseased Tragedy w/Pilot Jonezz/STEREOGRAFT/ Kamenar/Other Galaxies/Mandala Sky/ more Friday, Sept. 10. 6 p.m. $10. Orpheum, Ybor City Fatum Saturday, Sept. 18. 10 p.m. Free. The Ritz, Ybor City Bear Grillz Friday, Sept. 24. 10 p.m. $15. The Ritz, Ybor City Bonnie X Clyde Saturday, Sept. 25. 10 p.m. $15. The Ritz, Ybor City Valerie Gillespie Salutes Cole & Cole Saturday, Sept. 25. 8 p.m. $20-$40. Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg

which featured the hit single “Waterfalls.” Five years later, the trio returned to pop culture prominence by hurting the feelings of every insecure guy out there with the song “No Scrubs.” Tragedy struck in 2002, however when founding member Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes died in an auto accident in Honduras. See more of Josh Bradley’s weekly new concert roundup below.—Ray Roa

TLC Thursday, Oct. 21. 8 p.m. $80-$230. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Saint Jhn Monday, Oct. 25. 7 p.m. $33$249. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Gin Blossoms Thursday, Nov. 11. 8 p.m. $42-$52. Palladium, St. Petersburg James Taylor & His All-Star Band w/ Jackson Browne Thursday, Nov. 11. 7:30 p.m. $59.50 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa Tony Orlando Sunday, Dec. 5. 8 p.m. $30$120. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

George Benson Friday, Oct. 1. 8 p.m. $42.75-$153.75. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

The Fabulous Thunderbirds Sunday, Jan. 9. 8 p.m. $32.50-$50. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Peekaboo w/Buku/Space Wizard Friday, Oct. 1. 10 p.m. $20. The Ritz, Ybor City

10,000 Maniacs Saturday, Feb. 26. 8 p.m. $35-$55. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Magic Giant Saturday, Oct. 9. 8 p.m. Free. HOB Brewing Company, Dunedin

The Ten Tenors Sunday, March 13. 10 a.m. $18-$35. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Mr. Carmack w/Kyle Kinch Saturday, Oct. 9. 10 p.m. Free. The Ritz, Ybor City

Blood, Sweat, and Tears Thursday, March 17. 7:30 p.m. $35-$75. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

The Hives w/The Mystery Lights Monday, Oct. 18. 7 p.m. $26. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

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The Floyd Experience Saturday, April 16. 8 p.m. $39-$59. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

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Cut it out By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, I have been working for a small company for the past year or so, and I feel that I have grown too big for my britches. I finish my work quickly, take on other projects, and show initiative when given a challenge. That being said, because I don’t fall in line with the corporate culture, I am often targeted by my boss as an outlier that causes drama or is not working hard enough. It feels like all eyes are on me so much of the time, but not in a way that is nurturing my career. My eyes are on other sights, and I am working towards those, but in the meantime, how can I cope with such poor management in the workp l a c e?— Caught In the Brambles Cards: Five of Wands, Five of Cups, Four of Swords Dear Bramble, first, if you work for a corporation, you probably have an HR department, so start documenting EVERYTHING in writing. Communicate with your boss only in email and send them a daily report of what you have accomplished, what other projects you have taken on, and who you interacted with that day. If you believe your boss or co-workers are wrongfully accusing you of “causing drama,” interact with your co-workers by email whenever possible. Become a zen-like river stone: let everything pass over you. Keep your emails dull, with little emotion. React to nothing. The point of an HR department is to protect the company from being sued. So prepare like you’re going to sue them—even if you don’t, it’s how you can protect yourself. I don’t know what kind of employee you are, dear, or if you do cause drama or slack off, but I have seen far more terrible bosses than I have terrible employees, so I’m going to guess the cards are about management. Five of Wands show that there is deep conflict here, and Five of Cups suggests despair, especially with a broken heart. I am so sorry if this is a job that you love and your boss is spoiling that. Unfortunately, I don’t see these issues smoothing out. I think your instinct to look elsewhere for a job is a smart one. As for coping, we have the Four of Swords. Often seen as a rest card, it can also mean removing your ego

from the situation. It’s excruciating to not only go unrecognized for your work but to have your accomplishments downplayed. It can feel like a battle trying to prove yourself—but I think you need to pick your battles wisely. Do not spend energy trying to get your boss to see your worth. They’ve already decided not to. Instead, conserve that energy and send out applications, hire a headhunter,

Cards: Full Moon, Two of Wands, Three of Swords, Seven of Wands Dear Aries, Congratulations are in order. You have survived your battles, and you have earned your years. You should be proud of defeating whatever it was that was out to kill you. The Three of Swords is a survivor’s card. It means you have gone through heartache, through pain, through the storm of life, and you have lived. You have rebuilt what has been razed, and your heartstrings still thrum with life. That is a triumph, a mitzvah, a celebration. F o r t h i s

ORACLE OF YBOR

and care for yourself. Take your PTO, do not put in extra hours, and don’t try to fit into this corporation’s culture. Save your energy for yourself and for getting out. Fuck these people, my dear. Godspeed on your journey. Dear Oracle, I’m moving again. We’re planning on buying a house! What do I need to know in this time of transition and transformation, of planning past the point you thought you’d live to?—Amazed Aries

The Seven of Wands is the fruition of those plans. You are at a true turning point, and you’re about to go farther than you’ve ever gone before. And frankly, that shit is scary. So keep reminding yourself of your hope because the real estate market can easily lead to despair. I’ve answered a question about home buying before, and it is a stressful experience, to say the least. Try to be as cold and logical as possible—especially in this market. You’ve worked hard for this moment; don’t let someone swindle you out of your money. It can also cause fights between partners, so whoever is in the “we,” it’s important to be checking in about what y’all can afford, what your deal-breakers are, and what’s annoying but livable. Also, maybe get a candle from your local botanica and write a letter to the house owners when you send in your offer. (Both worked for me.) There are eight lunar cards in my deck, and for you, I pulled the Full Moon. It’s a time to look at things clearly and to be present. Unfortunately, that also means there’s nowhere to hide; under the full moon, we get an honest look at our lives. As you examine, see what might be causing harm and what needs to heal. The bummer thing about psychological wounds is that they can creep up in

turning point in your life, we have both the Two of Wands and Seven of Wands. The Two is a card of hope, of looking out at the horizon and believing that dawn will come again. It’s also a card to start planning.

weird places, so take a beat if you do find yourself having outsized emotional reactions to parts of the real estate process. See if it’s a wound from that Three of Swords. And talk about it with your partner, your friends, your therapists—whoever you got. The full moon is a magical time, but it isn’t easy. But neither is surviving this life, and look how well you’ve already done that. Best of luck, my dear. I hope you find a wonderful home to grow old in.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 43

44 | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | cltampa.com

Quickies By Dan Savage

I’m a woman who recently went out on a third date with a man. I invited him back to my place and we started making out, which led to him going down on me. Moments later he took off his pants and to my surprise he had a micro penis. I was shocked and turned off. I did not want to continue, but knowing how sensitive men can be, I maintained a poker face, did my best to not let on that I was turned off, and he was able to orgasm. Is there a nice way to let someone know you do not want to continue to have sex because of their penis size? And is there a responsibility on the part of a person with a micro penis to disclose that fact before sex? I think I would’ve been less turned off if I wasn’t so shocked.—Smaller Men And Lessons Learned

or really any form of gentle touch. These were favorites of mine, but we were compatible in other areas, so it wasn’t a big deal. It got worse after our children were born, and now her body is almost totally off limits to me and I’m really struggling. I’ve communicated that sex is important to me and she makes a good faith effort, but it’s strictly intercourse. I miss foreplay. I’ve tried to broach this subject and my wife gets very defensive. What are some baby steps I can propose?—Touched Or Not

but my husband... well, he’s ridiculously sexy to me, and he’s had enough hookups in his life to know he’s attractive to other women. But he’s in his late-30s now and has—there’s no delicate way to put this—ear hair, long eyebrow hairs, nose hairs, receding hairline, long chest hairs that creep up his neck. TOO MUCH STRAY HAIR

A lot of young straight guys think a casual disregard for their own looks is masculine and alluring. And it often works—until those ear and nose hairs start coming in. At that point they think, “I’m not doing anything differently but I’m not getting attention like I used to!” To get that same kind of attention, of course, they need to start doing things differently, e.g., they need to adopt new grooming practices and start taking better care of themselves. My advice: stop hinting, HINTER, start telling.

SAVAGE LOVE

I’m married to a wonderful woman. I know that’s where the BUT comes in, but it’s the truth. She’s fantastic. The challenge is sex. My wife always struggled with physical intimacy. She doesn’t like to have her neck or ears touched

There aren’t a lot of baby steps between someone not kissing your neck and someone kissing your neck, TON, so unless your wife is willing to get into therapy and work on identifying the root cause of her aversion to touch—and there m a y not be one—there’s not much you can do. She might just not like it. If things got worse after the kids arrived, perhaps things will improve once they’re older. And if most of the childcare responsibilities fall on your wife’s shoulders, well, she might be all touched out by the time you come for her neck. But if you were sexually incompatible at the start of the relationship—if you never really clicked sexually—that’s a hard-bordering-on-impossible thing to reverse engineer years or decades in.

I’m a young gay man who likes to be spanked hard. I tried dating nice guys, but they didn’t want to hurt me. Now I want to give kinky hookup apps a try, but I worry s a di s t i c guys who do want to hurt me won’t be nice. I want to be hurt but I’m worried about being with someone who enjoys it too much. Does that make sense? I’m kind of stuck and could use a little push.—Hate Extremely Limp Paddling You tried imploring vanilla nice guys to hurt you and that didn’t work, HELP, so it’s time to take a chance on kinky guys who do wanna hurt you. (That’s the push you wanted, right?) Some kinky people are assholes, of course, so use your best judgment and trust your gut. But I gotta say… some of the nicest guys I’ve ever met were sadists. It wasn’t just that these guys wanted to hurt me in safe, sane, and mutually pleasurable ways and that was nice of them. They were genuinely sweet. At first, I thought they might be overcompensating out of guilt, HELP, or, even worse, that their kindness was an act. But eventually I had to conclude that some sort of inverse relationship exists between being the kind of self-aware, self-actualized sadist who wants to do terrible things to someone who wants terrible things done to them, and just generally being a decent and thoughtful person. Now go get spanked by a guy who likes spanking you as much as you like getting spanked.

I find when I ride one of my dildos anally that my back pain will go away, or at the very least lessen. I know there are all kinds of great chemicals that get released when a person comes but is there more to this than that? Is it like acupuncture points, but in my ass? I’ve had physical issues with my back that physical therapy hasn’t been able to help. But stuffing my ass solved my back pain. Any insights?—Anal Makes Everything Nice Maybe it’s physical, maybe it’s chemical, or maybe you’ve stumbled over (and impaled yourself on) a unique version of the placebo effect—only you’re taking dildos, not sugar pills. Don’t waste time wondering why this works, AMEN, just be thankful it does. My husband and I are opening our relationship. I’m good looking enough to get a date easily,

JOE NEW TON

I don’t believe you, SMALL. I don’t think you would’ve been any less shocked or turned off if this guy brought up the size of his dick between the start of the first date and the end of the third. And if he had, SMALL, you would’ve written me a letter about this weird guy who started telling you about his small dick and ended your letter with a shocked, “Who does that?” (And I would’ve said, “Guys into SPH, because otherwise there’s no reason someone would bring that up in advance.”) Look, dicks are a lot like labia: they come in all shapes and sizes, and you usually don’t know what you’re gonna get when you go to bed with someone for the first time. While it’s fine to have a preference for larger or smaller, you should be prepared for natural variance and prepared to roll with it. If you can’t bear the thought of winding up in bed with a guy whose dick is too small for you, SMALL, then solicit dick pics in advance of a first date. Or make a disclosure of your own: you’re a size queen who requires a guy to be packing at least [however many] inches. But if asking for dick pics and/ or disclosing your dick preferences in advance seems too forward, SMALL, you’re under no obligation to fuck a guy if you’re not into his dick. No one is obligated to go through with sex just to spare someone else’s feelings. We should try to be considerate of other people’s feelings, of course, which sometimes means offering up an excuse, however transparently false it might be. But you can get up and go whenever you like.

to put time and care into their appearance, and I think he should do the same! Hinting has not worked. I love him as is but don’t want to listen to him complain that it’s tough for a “middle-aged guy” to find a date. His age is not the issue!— Husband Is Not Trying Enough Really

EVERYWHERE! From 10 feet away he looks amazing but up close he just looks unkempt. My question is this: how do I tell him? I’m all about body positivity but the kind of women he’s attracted

Contact mail@savagelove.net, Follow @FakeDanSavage on Twitter, and bookmark savagelovecast.com.

cltampa.com | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | 45

46 | AUGUST 26 - SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 | cltampa.com

LEAP YEAR CELEBRATION by Merl Reagle NOTE: The American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, which Will Shortz founded in 1978, is the longest-running crossword tournament in the United States. I actually entered it in 1979 (and finished third) but since 1980 I’ve been one of its judges and one of its regular puzzle contributors. The crossword on this page was Puzzle No. 3 from the 1996 tournament. The champ did it in eight minutes, and aren’t you just thrilled to know THAT.

37 Young Jetson 96 39 A Roman or an Indian 97 41 Eliot Ness 98 stratagem 44 Line of scrimmage 102 infraction 103 48 Murder, She 104 Wrote doc 105 49 Caches 106 51 The rest of it 52 Pre-stereo system 107 54 Gas up again 108 55 Between ports 56 Prepare for a 1 church sale 2 59 Not outside the legal playing area 3 4 61 The second half 62 Dress for the 5 modest 63 “Previously ___” (narrated intro to a popular medical 6 7 show) 64 Whose Pieces? 8 66 Architect Pei’s first name ACROSS 9 68 Eschews the 1 Animal in the 10 tiramisu, e.g. bedroom 11 4 Mount Rushmore 69 Et cetera, 12 et cetera attractions 13 71 Cougar, 9 Quick quality to car fans 16 Champagne chum 74 Corpus ___ 17 Zany Zero 14 76 To be, in Brest 18 Toyota model 15 77 Go over again, 19 Judges hastily 17 as text 20 More of the same 79 Where to get your 21 23 Tankard drink 22 yaks 24 Motel-rating org. 28 81 Hook’s helper 25 “Eek!” 83 Agile though aged 29 26 Potpie morsel 32 27 Beer ingredients 84 Mother from Albania 30 Part 2 87 “Tunnel of Love” 33 31 Playful sea 36 singer mammals 90 Blah, blah, blah 34 Father’s Day 38 92 Popular exclamation 40 icebreaker (said with feigned surprise, probably) 93 Actress Jane who 42 35 Christmasy first plays Daphne on 43 name Frasier 1

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45 Role for Ingrid 78 Manchu, for one 46 Abbr. after LBJ’s 80 African pest 82 Swallow up name when he 84 Jazz guitarist was a Senator Farlow 47 Morales of La 85 Get by Bamba 86 Direct 49 Indefinitely, 88 Beetle Bailey’s in Latin rank: abbr. 50 Wine cask 89 Set another 53 Crucial match to convention event 91 Drink with a 55 College straw cofounded by 94 Where Munster Noah Webster is a DOWN 56 Pear variety province Overnight duds 57 Egyptian life 95 Interstate hauler Tries to equal symbol 99 It’s tender all Chronology chart 58 Dullea of 2001 over Europe Relative of 60 Old-fashioned 100 Parking places: hallelujah social abbr. New Mexico, for 65 Fish story suffix 101 He’s a Bunny example, 67 Cockney’s kind of guy to a Mexican residence From ___ Z 69 Trident-shaped Beginning of 10 letters words? 70 Do ___ Instant replay (slangy money) speed, slangily 72 Undid, as a law Point the finger at 73 1980s doll seen PUZZLE FANS ! Capitol types on Saturday For info on Merl's Test type morning TV Sunday crossword Refusals 75 Suffix with anthologies, visit Clint and Lee’s www.sunday suburban Ugly co-star, crosswords.com. 77 Letter signoff in a western Hillside Solution to P.D.Q. Bach Composes Himself More cogent R AM B A L I AWA Y TME N Film rating org. V I V A C E L I B E R A C E T O I L E KLM continuation B A D E N B A D E N B A D E N R O C K S E B E R B A T H E S KLM competition O L D I S T O T U L S A B A RD OD E S S A Baby’s ring H E E L A ND A N T E A L I GH I E R I A T F A U L T A D AM E L E A Roll call reply P E R V E R T I ME N T O T A R S A L Vegan’s protein U S A T OO NOH T E AMO source P A L S I S N T MA L CO L M I P H I GE N I A I N B ROOK L Y N Cobb and Hardin H A V E NO T C Y A N S L UG Game with netted K A R E N A E T OHO ONO P A T E N T E N R I C O C A R O U SO sticks A N Y A A S S T MA I T R E D Terse rave S CH L E P T E T I N E F L A T I C A N A L D I L A POS E D E L L A Ho ___ Minh A T R E S T L E A F I OWA U B I Fury L ODGE H A N S E L A NDGR E T E L Bomb squad on a A G I R L A N D T E D A N D A L I C E NONO P E SO L A S S A S H good day

Fed. expenditure watchdog Org. for attys. This crossword is one of them You get the idea Zones A Marcos Dig in College board member Squabbles Wash’s partner

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Trans Model Yazmine:

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