Creative Loafing Tampa — June 9, 2022 by Chava Communications

JUNE 09-15, 2022 (VOL.35, NO.23) $FREE • CREATIVE LOAFING - CLTAMPA.COM

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf STAFF WRITER Justin Garcia FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Kyla Fields, Dr. Amanda Hagood, Faiyaz Kara, Jim Saunders, Dan Savage

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PRESS HANDOUT

ST. PETE PRIDE CONTRIBUTORS Megan Hickey, Casey Mears,

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PHOTOGRAPHERS Caesar Carbajal, Dave Decker

SeaWorld inEDITORIAL February,INTERNS animal Molly rights Ryan, Maximilian Steele claiming the practice of keeping wild Apply fall though via rroa@cltampa.com d dangerous. Butfor even public atmany SeaWorld in animal rights CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack don’t seeFebruary, a parallel between theSpatafora kind claiming the practice of keepinganimals wildFrontel GRAPHIC DESIGNER Joe k, and the practice of displaying nd dangerous. evenOr though publicfor a asking for tooBut much? isNewton, it time ILLUSTRATORS Joe Dan Perkins, d, many don’tCory see aRobinson, parallel between the kind Bob Whitmore t” animals?

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LGBTQ+ youth are 40% more likely to experience homelessness, which is a totally curable statistic.

ck and the practice of displaying animals SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES s asking for too much? Or is it time for a Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda ent” animals?

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS DIRECTOR Alexis Quinn Chamberlain Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40

Carson Kressley is coming to St. Pete Pride, p. 50.

Music Week ................................................... 42 MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND

EVENTS COORDINATOR Lauren Caplinger Music: Tampa Bay Fest ........................... 40 Concert review: ArticBlues Monkeys .......................... 42 Music ................................................... The ListWeek .......................................................... 46 EUCLID MEDIA GROUP 42

NEWS+VIEWS �� 11

Concert review: Artic Monkeys .......................... 42 CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Andrew Zelman Movie reviews ..................................................... 63

CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Movie reviews ..................................................... 63 Puzzler 66 VP ........................................................... OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein Free Will Astrology ......................................... 64 DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Savage Love ...................................................... 69 Jaime Monzon Puzzler ........................................................... 66 TheWill List Astrology .......................................................... Free .........................................46 64

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FOOD �� 29

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MUSIC �� 53

EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

MUSIC WEEK �� 55 SAVAGE LOVE �� 61

Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 633 N Franklin St., Suite 735. Tampa, Florida, 33602.

CROSSWORD �� 63

This is common sense: more guns with less accountability is a scary combination.

How was your Date? The newspaper is produced and printed on

State Attorney among Tampa officials against constitutional carry, p.18.

m/cltv Indigenous belonging to Tampa Bay’s cltampa.com/movies Howland was your Date? Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.

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Come join us for the Rough Riders Flea Market / Yard Sale & Cigar Bash Part of the Tampa Mayor’s newly declared “ Rough Riders Week” Celebration

Saturday June 11th /11am-5pm / Open To The Public! / $Free Admission Cigar Vendor Tents & Flea Market Booths with all sorts of great items Food, Beer, Wine, Soda & Water available for sale * Outdor Cigar Lounges & Indoor seating to eat, drink & relax Plenty of Parking * Music by DJ Greg Berrios * Rough Rider Museum for public viewing of artifacts Quartermaster Store with Rough Riders Merchandise for sale * Pet Friendly (Outdoors Only)

601 N. 19th St. / Tampa, FL / 33605 * https://tamparoughriders.org/event-4802059  Contact info: Bob Alorda 813-389-6777 / Ed Dunn 813-241-5760 / Coz Cosgrove 813-810-1825 6 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

Family time

Juneteenth party among best things to do this weekend. By Max Steele and Ray Roa

t. Petersburg’s freeFall Theatre wraps its 20212022 season with two exciting cabarets that’ll heat up an already hot summer: “Coco and Homo” and “Sinatra, My Way.” Best of the Baywinning “Coco and Homo,” starring Colleen Cherry and Zachary Hines, are two local miscreants that take their audience on “an acid trip of interactive games, campy anthems and frolicking drinking songs.” The act premieres at freeFall on Friday, June 10. “Sinatra, My Way,” performed by Larry Alexander and a trio of jazz instrumentalists, is a nod to the great Frank Sinatra and showcases his musical masterpieces and unparalleled career. The one-time show will only be performed on Aug. 11. Located at 6099 Central Ave., freeFall Theatre is a performing arts theater that showcases local talent acts, including familiar plays, original musicals and offbeat productions. Single tickets and bundle subscriptions can be purchased via freefalltheatre.com. Juneteenth comes early This weekend, Tampa Heights will celebrate its second annual “Cultural Fest: A Juneteenth Celebration.” The event, happening a week before Juneteenth itself, will feature food and artisan vendors, historical accounts, literary events, music, performing and visual arts as well as economic, physical and mental health workshops with experts in such fields. CL hip-hop scene favorite Queen of Ex plays at 3 p.m., but Fred Johnson gives Tampa music fans a reason to get there early. The jazz singer is on right after doors open, and while we don’t know if his brother will join him

that morning, it is a special weekend for the Straz Center Artist-in-Residence. Johnson was adopted when he was five years old, but in 2017 he found his birth family—and it turns out all five of his siblings can sing. Johnson’s brother will join him later on Saturday—just 1.2 miles away from the Tampa Heights Community Center—for a special, free set on the Tampa Riverwalk as part of the VetChat series. Cultural Fest: A Juneteenth Celebration. Saturday, June 11. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Tampa Heights Community Center 1005 N Lamar Ave., Tampa. thcf22.eventbrite.com Meet the Chefs Tampa Bay Restaurant Week kicks off next Thursday and runs through June 26. Before that, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay is taking over The Orlo in South Tampa where we’ll welcome 11 local chefs to a cocktail-style sampling event. VIP—which includes two-hours of exclusive sampling—is already sold-out, but GA Plus (early admission) and GA tickets remain, and include sampling, plus drink samples. Highlights on the menu include a yuzu cheesecake from Chef Summer Bailey at Harry Waugh Dessert Room at Bern’s Steak House, a foie gras mousse and strawberry profiterole by Elevage’s Chef Adam Hyatt, and Caraca Chef Traci Bryant’s Thai curry canapé with chilled shrimp, khao soi aioli, pickled mustard green relish, and wonton crisps. Meet The Chefs 2022. Tuesday, June 14, 8 p.m. (early admission at 6 p.m. and 7 p.m.) $80 & up. The Orlo, 315 S Plant Ave., Tampa. meetthechefstampabay.com

Dunedin Pride Week June 11 - 18, 2022 Drag Queen Brunch & Pool Party Golf Cart Pride Parade Pride at TD Ballpark Baseball Game Silent Disco Pride Dance Party and Drag Show Women's Luau Party Educational Events Dunedin Pride Film Screenings Gay-Lah (Florida formal) And So Much More

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JOHNSON’S JAMS: Fred Johnson plays twice on Saturday, just 1.2 miles apart.

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“They have embarrassed our police department.” POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Cream of the crop

TPD officer of the month was fired then rehired, and the problems continued. By Justin Garcia

ay’s Tampa Police Department’s officer of the month has a long history of violations, including some so severe that he was fired in 2019, only to be rehired before violating department policy several more times. On May 11, Algenis Maceo was named officer of the month at Tampa City Council. He was lauded by police Chief Mary O’Connor, city council members and handed gifts from business leaders from the community for his efforts in “attacking crime” as O’Connor described it. But documents obtained by Creative Loafing Tampa Bay show that Maceo is yet another example of police officers that get to keep their jobs despite repeatedly exhibiting disturbing behavior. TPD files show that Maceo has 20 Internal Affairs investigations into his conduct since 2018. Of those investigations, Maceo was charged with 18 violations of department policy. Twelve of those violations occurred before he was fired in 2019, when he was caught up in a major scandal that led to several officers being fired. In 2019, Maceo was fired after a seven-month TPD investigation found what former Police Chief Brian Dugan called a pattern of bad behavior that included failures to document detentions, searches, and properly disposing of seized drugs. Documents show that Maceo violated eight department policies at the time. He failed to properly document and record evidence, failed to comply with policies related to search and seizure, resistance to arrest and more. One report says that Maceo, “failed to properly place contraband located during this stop into the Evidence Control Section.” The report says that Maceo didn’t submit evidence during multiple drug stops, including one which involved the opiates Hydrocodone and Oxycodone, where Maceo “failed to document what happened to, or even the existence of multiple pill bottles.” Before these major breaches of conduct, Maceo had four sustained violations, including the violation of emergency operation of police vehicles during pursuits and responding to calls for service. For these violations, he received letters of counseling and written reprimands. But in July of 2020, after the Police Benevolent Association union argued that

Maceo shouldn’t be fired, a police arbitrator somehow decided that Maceo’s firing in 2019 was too harsh. He was returned to the force with a 15-day suspension. A year later, Maceo was caught violating department policy again. In April of 2021 he violated the operation of department vehicles policy. In July of 2021, he was investigated for violating six more department policies, and five of the charges were upheld. Once again, the charges included evidence issues. The investigation found that Maceo failed to comply with properly using his body worn camera equipment and failed to submit required reports, which led the IA division to look deeper into his body camera usage.

LOCAL NEWS

reasonable explanations as to why, other than the occasional bathroom breaks which would have fallen in some of these time frames.” He was briefly suspended again before returning to service. After these 18 violations, Maceo wasn’t placed on desk duty, as is often the case with officers who continually screw up. Instead, he’s patrolling the streets, still looking for drugs and firearms. And he’s being rewarded for it. “He’s constantly seeking out criminal activity within the city of Tampa and most importantly looking for ways to prevent violent crime,” Chief O’ Connor told city council when presenting Maceo with his officer of the month award. “As you all know, we are committed to reducing violent crime in our community. And

JHVEPHOTO/ADOBE

REPEAT OFFENDER: TPD’s May officer of the month has been charged with 18 violations of department policy. “A review of his Body Worn Camera history for the entire month of July was conducted and revealed that his Body Worn Camera had been powered completely off on five separate occasions with the most egregious being 4 hours and 41 minutes during his shift,” an IA disciplinary report on Maceo from December of 2021 said. The report said that Maceo admitted to turning off his camera and “cannot provide

officer Maceo is a fine example of Tampa Police officers that do this every day.” It’s unclear who exactly selected Maceo as officer of the month, but traditionally, the police executive board chooses the officer, with the police chief having the power to veto the decision. O’Connor, who was fired then rehired after assaulting a law enforcement officer early on in her career at TPD, continued that Maceo

believes one way of doing his job so effectively is by apprehending violent criminals and recovering firearms and narcotics. “Officer Maceo focuses his efforts daily and in a targeted fashion by proactively conducting traffic stops and other proactive activity in the hotspots where violent crime and the most firearms have recently been,” O’Connor said. The police chief shared details of an instance where Maceo performed a vehicle search that “revealed a loaded 40 caliber firearm and 12 baggies of marijuana weighing over 50 grams.” O’Connor said that Maceo has been “attacking” crime in District 2, which includes the Busch Gardens area and the area around the University of South Florida. Both of these areas have a large Black population. The district also includes other parts of North Tampa, and where exactly Maceo patrols was not immediately clear. “Tampa is the best city in the world and honestly I’m glad I could do my part to make it safer for me and my family and everyone that lives here,” Maceo said. When Maceo was fired in 2019, then Police Chief Brian Dugan said that Maceo and others had in fact damaged the community’s trust in local law enforcement. “They have embarrassed our police department,” Dugan said. “They have placed the community’s trust in jeopardy. They have tarnished our brand. And they betrayed the oath that they swore to uphold. I could not be more disappointed.” The report that outlines why Maceo was fired in 2019 said he was not competent to be a police officer. “Due to these repeated violations occurring within a two-year period, you have failed to maintain sufficient competency to properly perform your duties and responsibilities as a Tampa Police Officer,” the report reads. CL contacted TPD to see if there is a limit to how many violations an officer can receive and still remain on the force. We also asked why Maceo is pursuing drug and gun offenders after his repeated violations, among other questions, but we have not yet received a response. Last month, CL found that another TPD officer who violently arrested an innocent Black woman was also still on the force, despite her disturbing behavior.

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Senior-itis

Data shows Hillsborough saw 67% increase in homeless seniors since 2018. By Justin Garcia

he number of homeless seniors in Hillsborough County has seen a staggering rise over the course of the pandemic, according to numbers from the Tampa Hillsborough Homeless Initiative (THHI). Last year, 495 adults aged 62 or older sought shelters, safe havens and outreach projects as they experienced homelessness in Hillsborough County. In 2018, this number was 296—that’s a 67% increase in homeless seniors over the last three years. In total across all age groups, 4,777 people sought out homeless programs in 2021, compared to 4,233 in 2018. Adults over 62 years old make up the most significant increase by far. Antoinette D. Hayes-Triplett, the CEO of THHI who has been working on homeless issues since 1995, said that older people have the most difficulty getting into housing. She said a number of factors have led to the explosive growth in the older homeless population. “One thing is that they’re usually on a fixed income,” Hayes-Triplett told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “Typically social security benefits give them about $800-$1,000. And there’s really no place you can rent in Hillsborough County for a one bedroom for under that price range. Then if you do end up getting a place for $800, what do you eat?” Hayes-Triplett said that last year’s figure represents people 62 and older who have accessed homeless services, not the total number of people on the streets. Earlier this year, THHI performed a sampling method to determine how many people are currently on the streets in Hillsborough; numbers from that “Point In Time Census” will be released later this month. She expects that the overall number of homeless people has increased this year. But the increase in older people seeking help for homelessness in 2021 is especially concerning, she said. She told CL that there’s no one solution to the problem but that THHI has an strategic plan in place that includes addressing the roots of homelessness: poverty, low wages, unemployment, lack of affordable housing, mental illness and substance abuse. The group has held expungement clinics to remove criminal records for free, established a community-wide affordable supportive housing program that increases access to housing for people emerging from homelessness, and increased permanent housing vouchers, among other services. Hayes-Triplett said that THHI is working on establishing several shared housing units. THHI currently has three of the houses established, with a goal of 50 units that would house a total

of 150 people. Initially, the housing would focus on housing older people and other vulnerable groups. This project is in the works along with the BEACH house, which will focus on housing chronically homeless people, which often include people who are older than 60. She said that the pandemic has affected the pace of these projects, but that they are in the works. Recent events add context to the increasing number of homeless older people in Tampa Bay. At a recent Tampa City Council meeting, Arlene Washington, a disabled elderly Black woman, detailed the unaffordable cost of living in the city, including where she lives at Madison Highland Senior Apartments in downtown Tampa. “We have people there that are moving out this month because they can’t afford to pay the rent anymore,” Washington said. “And it’s wrong, it hurts my heart to know how you treat seniors.” After Washington and several others spoke at that meeting, city council asked for staff to explore the creation of a “Tenant Advocacy

14 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

the current crisis. “You would be surprised, it’s just regular people who are just doing what they can to survive,” she told CL. “What I’ve seen lately is definitely a lot of seniors, because they were in a lot of affordable units and the rents are going up. So we’re having more and more conversations about diversion.” Crosby-Rucker explained that diversion involves representatives from the county advocating to landlords on behalf of tenants to see what options are available besides eviction. Sometimes they’ll see if a tenant can pay part of a rent and catch up on the rest later. “We basically see if there’s something we can work out between them,” Crosby-Rucker said. She and Hayes-Triplett said that their organizations are actively looking for more community partners to help establish more housing that regular working people can afford. They encourage more partners with property available to come to the table. “We’re talking with community groups, faith based groups and even small landlords who might own duplexes and properties like that,” Crosby-Rucker said. “And there are incentives to people that get involved. But the main thing is, by getting involved you become part of the solution.”

“If you do end up getting a place for $800, what do you eat?”

CHRISTOPHER BOSWELL/ADOBE

HOUSING

Office,” which would help tenants navigate leases and issues with landlords. Council also asked for staff to look at the possibility of establishing a landlord and tenant registry, which could potentially help keep track of landlords who improperly manage their properties. Bad landlords have been a real problem in the Tampa area. Silver Oaks Apartments and Holly Court Apartments are just two properties being run like slums. City council has several times called the spike in rents a “crisis” but the city has turned away from advocate cries for rent stabilization, instead focusing on reforms and a rent relief program that pays off landlords who increase rental prices. Mayor Jane Castor, whose election PAC was largely funded by developers, has stood firmly against rent stabilization, saying it would “kill development.” Felicia Crosby-Rucker, Hillsborough County’s Director of Homeless and Community Services, told CL that everyday people are hitting the streets as rents increase, and that the county is trying to prevent that before it happens. At a recent forum on homelessness, CrosbyRucker pointed out that the face of homelessness has changed in recent years, and that anyone is susceptible to ending up on the streets during

HOME FOR WHOM? The increase in older people seeking help for homelessness is concerning.

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cltampa.com | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | 17

Lone ranger

Others have chimed in, but Tampa’s police chief still mum on ‘constitutional carry.’ By Ray Roa

n downtown Tampa last Friday, Tampa Police Chief Mary O’Connor delivered a proclamation “honoring those affected by gun violence.” The proclamation is a collection of whereas statements reminding people that survivors of gun violence should be honored along with those killed. It also cites statistics on gun violence, says TPD is working on it, and offers no real solutions for the violence. And in the two weeks since the Texas shooting that left 19 school children dead, O’Connor, who publicly expressed sympathy for Uvalde, has also ignored requests for comments regarding Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ wish to sign “constitutional carry” legislation before he leaves office. Constitutional carry is not open carry. As the Tallahassee Democrat points out, “constitutional carry” would allow Floridians who legally own a firearm to carry it in public, visibly or concealed, at almost any time or place, without training, registration or government licensing. It’s been two weeks since Creative Loafing Tampa Bay first reached out to reps for O’Connor in hopes of a statement regarding constitutional carry, and we’ve yet to receive any response. Two hours before Friday’s event, a spokesperson for Tampa Mayor Jane Castor told CL she does not support constitutional carry. On the Monday after the event, Hillsborough Sheriff Chad Chronister told CL, “It’s the Governor’s prerogative to pass laws, and it’s my responsibility to enforce them.” In that same timeframe, representatives from the St. Petersburg Police Department (SPPD) and the Pinellas County Sheriff (PCSO) have chimed in. “The current oversight program administered by the state of Florida seems to be managed in a way that there is accountability. Appropriate training is available to individuals who choose to become licensed firearms carriers,” SPPD Acting Chief Mike Kovacsev told CL last week while Chief Anthony Holloway was out. “With that in mind, I believe it would be premature to provide an opinion on an executive order or legislation that has not fully come to fruition.” PSCO said it would not comment until it sees a proposed bill. Two weeks ago, even Tampa City Council, on a motion proposed by its newest member Lynn Hurtak, unanimously agreed to send a letter to DeSantis urging the governor to revoke his promise to allow open carry in Florida. “Citizens are asking us to do something and unfortunately in Florida we don’t have a lot of

power,” Hurtak said, “but what we can do is to ask him to revoke the promise he has made, in order to protect the citizenry.” Like O’Connor, DeSantis has also avoided talking about constitutional carry as of late. Last Thursday during an Orlando event at Plaza Live—where a gunman shot singer Christina Grimme dead—activists disrupted to ask the governor if he really does “plan to make it even easier for dangerous people to get guns.” Video from the incident shows the activists being promptly escorted out as DeSantis says, “Nobody wants to hear from you.” State Attorney Andrew Warren, who delivered remarks alongside O’Connor, told CL,

LOCAL NEWS

18 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

a day to not only remember folks killed by guns but also grieve for their families. She said that the event is not political, but acknowledged that “it’s hard not to be political when we’ve had this mass spate of mass shootings.” Powell-Cope, who got involved with Florida Moms Demand Action four years ago, was also not afraid to share her stance on DeSantis’ wish to sign constitutional carry, which would allow for permitless carry—already law in more than half the states in the country, including Texas. “Moms Demand Action does not support permitless carry,” she told CL. “Researchers have actually looked at gun violence before and after those laws were put into effect, and the gun violence gets worse after those laws after

“Moms Demand Action is not going to give up though, either locally or nationally or at the state level to monitor and advocate for legislation and police,” she added. The chief’s silence comes in the wake of other seemingly performative actions from some organizations like the Tampa Bay Rays, who flaunted a $50,000 donation to gun reform nonprofit Everytown last week, while also refusing to comment on the more than $180,000 the team has donated to GOP and conservative-leaning PACs and candidates that have refused to stand up to the NRA. And while Florida “red flag” laws signed by then Gov. Rick Scott after the mass murder at a Parkland high school have taken more than

O’CONNOR WHERE ART THOU? Tampa Police Chief Mary O’Connor would not share her stance on ‘constitutional carry’ with CL readers. “Permitless carry makes all of us less safe. Removing all regulations on who can carry a concealed gun is dangerous for families and for police. This is common sense: more guns with less accountability is a scary combination.” Gail Powell-Cope of Florida Moms Demand Action was also on the speaker slate for Friday’s proclamation and peace march, and reminded CL that National Gun Violence Awareness Day is

permitless carry laws are enacted. So yeah, we’re definitely not supportive of it.” According to the Giffords Law Center To Prevent Gun Violence, someone is killed with a gun every three hours in Florida. For the record, Powell-Cope, who has two adult children, said she has not been able to talk with O’Connor about the chief’s stance on constitutional carry.

8,000 guns away from people, DeSantis has said that he would have vetoed the legislation, which the NRA is still flighting in appeals court. Meanwhile, Florida Democrats like Orlando’s Carlos Guillermo Smith want to expand on gun laws to prevent further violence and move away from allowing permitless carry which he said could snowball into full-on open carry. “That will cost lives,” Smith said.

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At your service

Pinellas Sheriff deputies tried to illegally evict renters in St. Pete. By Justin Garcia

n the morning of June 1, Pinellas County Sheriff deputies tried to evict three renters from their house in the Historic Kenwood neighborhood. But as the St. Petersburg Tenant’s Union pointed out to the deputies in a heated interaction caught on video, the officers were attempting to carry out an illegal eviction. SPTU received notice that the tenants were being told they had to leave the house that day, and showed up to investigate the situation. Video from SPTU shows that the tenants belongings were already in the front yard when they arrived, with PSCO deputies watching. But activists found that PCSO was attempting to evict tenants based on the owner receiving a foreclosure. “You realize this is an illegal eviction, right?” SPTU member Karla Correa asked a PCSO deputy named Kent Snavely. “You realize the tenants don’t have to leave right, and this is for the landlord?” In the video, the officer insisted it was a final eviction, but was completely wrong about the situation.

Under Florida state law, a tenant whose landlord is being foreclosed upon has 90 days to vacate the property. If a tenant’s household is being foreclosed upon, a “notice to vacate to any bona fide tenant at least 90 days before the effective date of the notice.” Despite the law, the PCSO officer threatened SPTU members with arrest for disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace for speaking up for the tenant’s rights. SPTU members told CL that seven total officers showed up, including St. Pete Police Department Officers, who had arrived at the request of PCSO. SPPD is set to receive a record high budget in 2023, something SPTU and others have protested against, calling for more affordable housing and other social services. “At 10:30 a.m., June 1, we received an ‘assist outside agency’ call for service as a Pinellas County Deputy handled a civil issue,” SPPD’s PIO told CL. “We don’t have any further information on the civil case.” All of the officers eventually backed off, after a Pinellas County judge told them that

HOUSING

the tenants do have 90 days to move, under the law. CL asked PCSO’s communications team how after seeing this interaction, the citizens of Pinellas County be assured that PCSO isn’t enforcing unlawful evictions around the county. It has yet to reply. In the video one PCSO deputy was antagonizing the tenants and the activists, telling them the eviction was going to happen one way or another, and kept insisting that the eviction was not illegal, speaking over people when they were trying to correct the deputy on the law. The officer did not have an identifying name badge on, but CL was able to confirm that the officer was Demetria “Dee” Spanolios. PCSO has not responded to a question regarding whether or not its deputies have to wear name badges, and why this deputy was missing a name badge when others had badges on. “Don’t come here and start something that you don’t have any business towards,” Spanolios told Correa and other activists. Correa told Spanolios that PCSO in fact did not have any business there because of the law. “You’re just always getting up in other people’s business,” Spanolios said, before going

on to again incorrectly say that they were not attempting an illegal eviction. Last week, a tenant from the house spoke to CL, which will not name the tenant in this story out of respect for their privacy. The tenant had been living at the property for three years, and the news about the eviction came as a shock. “When the cops showed up and told us we had to get out, we were in panic mode and we were rushing to get all of our things out of the house,” the tenant said. “But we knew something was wrong with the situation, because it was a foreclosure, not an eviction.” The tenant and roommates are thankful that SPTU showed up to help them, so they don’t have to be out of the house immediately. But the situation has made them want to get out of there as soon as possible, and they were looking at a new rental today. “I would honestly like to get out as soon as possible because at this point, it doesn’t even feel like my home, and now I just feel like the cops are about to show up and it will happen all over again,” the tenant said. The tenant has created a GoFundMe to help with last minute moving costs.

“The officer insisted it was a final eviction, but was completely wrong about the situation.”

SPTENANTSUNION/INSTAGRAM

10-27: Pinellas Sheriff Deputy Demetria “Dee” Spanolios (L) was not wearing a name badge during the illegal eviction attempt.

20 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

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No refund

Appeals court won’t dismiss USF pandemic shutdown lawsuit. By Jim Saunders/News Service of Florida

n appeals court last Wednesday refused to dismiss a potential class-action lawsuit against the University of South Florida over fees that were collected from students for on-campus services that were not provided because of the COVID-19 pandemic. The USF case is one of numerous lawsuits in Florida and across the country stemming from campus shutdowns early in the pandemic. The ruling Wednesday by a panel of the 2nd District Court of Appeal centered on whether USF breached a contract with student ValerieMarie Moore. USF argued that the case should be dismissed because of sovereign immunity, a legal concept that helps shield government agencies from lawsuits. The appeals court upheld a Hillsborough County circuit judge’s refusal to dismiss the case, though it said its ruling was “without prejudice to USF’s right to again raise the defense of sovereign immunity if supported by the facts.” A key issue in the case is whether an “express written contract” existed between USF and Moore, according to the ruling. “When the state enters into a contract authorized by general law, the defense of sovereign immunity will not shield it from litigation,” said the 13-page ruling, written by Judge Darryl Casanueva and joined by Judges Craig Villanti and Suzanne Labrit. “When the Legislature has authorized a state entity to enter into a contract, it clearly intends that the contract be valid and binding on both parties.”

The ruling said that based on language in a registration agreement, Moore “entered into a legal, binding contract with USF.” It said USF argued that, even if such a contract existed, it had not promised to provide specific services in exchange for student fees. “Therefore, it contends, Ms. Moore cannot establish that USF breached a provision of the contract,” the ruling said. “We conclude that the trial court correctly rejected this argument at this stage of the pleadings.” Campuses in Florida and across the country shut down in 2020 to try to prevent the spread of COVID-19. The USF case, like others, involves fees that students paid for services—not tuition. An amended version of the lawsuit filed last year in Hillsborough County said Moore was a doctoral student in USF’s College of Education. Courts have taken differing stances on whether colleges and universities breached contracts when they required students to learn remotely to try to prevent the spread of COVID-19. As an example, the state’s 3rd District Court of Appeal in April rejected a potential class-action lawsuit against Miami Dade College over fees collected from students in 2020. Meanwhile, an Alachua County circuit judge in October refused to dismiss a potentialclass action lawsuit against the University of Florida. That case is pending at the 1st District Court of Appeal.

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Amend as needed

The 2nd Amendment is legal gibberish, and you can make it mean just about whatever you want. By Jeffrey C. Billman

efore the bodies of 19 children in Uvalde, Texas, had turned cold, the Republican leaders of North Carolina’s General Assembly announced plans to tackle a crisis in education. Not the easy access to the kinds of assault rifles favored by mass shooters, of course. Nor the underfunding of public schools that state courts have declared unconstitutional (rulings the legislature has ignored). But rather, the outrage that teachers and counselors aren’t required to out gay and queer kids to their parents—even if doing so might put them in physical or psychological danger—and disclose whatever students tell them about their mental or emotional health. Just as terrible, the lawmakers said, elementary students might be learning that LGBTQ people exist. So they stuffed these provisions into a bill full of legal redundancies—North Carolina parents already have the right to “consent or withhold consent for participation in reproductive health and safety education programs”—and called it a “Parents’ Bill of Rights.” They knew the Democratic governor would veto their bill and they didn’t have the votes to override his veto. Their bill had nothing to do with protecting kids and everything to do with gaining political advantage. They couldn’t muster enough respect for the dead to wait a day before getting started. Nothing could better illustrate how injured we’ve become to mass-casualty violence, how unshocking it is. These events are as culturally embedded as celebrity scandals; within a day or two, the Uvalde massacre was competing for media oxygen with the Johnny Depp trial. I’ve spent a week trying to figure out what I could say about Uvalde that wasn’t said after Sandy Hook or Pulse or Las Vegas or any of the other mass murders made possible by nihilistic gun fetishists and their quiescent politicians. I’ve mostly come up empty. It’s all too familiar—the predictable rhythm of “thoughts of prayers” versus demands to finally “do something,” culminating in congressional negotiations over a bill to enact red-flag provisions or improve background checks that will be watered down before getting filibustered once this wave of attention subsides. Rinse and repeat. This time is different in one way, however. It pierced the mythology of heroic policing built by a thousand CBS procedurals. The Uvalde police have changed their version of events more times than I can count, as each of their narratives collapsed. A police department that sucked up 40% of its town

budget and got its rocks off chasing down border crossers was more concerned about stopping parents from trying to rescue their kids than actually rescuing their kids. Now, the cops won’t cooperate with investigators who are trying to determine how things went wrong. Unfortunately, with cops in Texas criticized for their passivity, cops elsewhere will respond with aggression—shoot first, ask questions later. Uvalde will be their justification. And the Uvalde officers won’t pay a price for their inaction. Despite the “protect and serve” motto, the Supreme Court has ruled that cops have no obligation to do either. A week after the massacre, in fact, the chief of police of the

24 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

state sovereignty in a way intended to make little practical sense.” If you want to control guns, look to the “wellregulated militia” clause. If not, look to the second half of the sentence. There’s something for everyone. It goes without saying that Madison lived in a world of muskets, not assault rifles that rip kids’ bodies to shreds; not semi-automatic handguns that indiscriminately spray bullets; not untraceable weapons manufactured by 3-D printers; not a country in which more than 45,000 people die by firearms each year, and guns are the leading cause of death among children. Another Uvalde is inevitable, and there will be a hundred other horror shows before it. We

JOSEPH GUILLEN

INFORMED DISSENT

obtain a permit to carry a concealed handgun demonstrate a special need to defend themselves. During arguments, a majority of justices believed that a system that decides who can carry a gun infringes upon the right to have one. (This same majority will almost certainly let states dictate the reproductive health care women can access. The irony is lost on them, I’m sure.) The question is whether its ruling will focus on that law or strike down restrictions everywhere, as some right-wing justices appear inclined to do, under an interpretation of the Second Amendment expansive enough to make Antonin Scalia blush. Then again, you can make the Second Amendment say just about whatever you want because—as history writer William Hogeland

FAMILIAR SIGHT: We choose to do anything but address the problem. And then we wonder why it keeps happening. Uvalde School District was sworn in as a city council member. Nothing will change. Not after an 18-yearold bought an arsenal online and gunned down 10-year-olds. Not after a white supremacist murdered 10 people in Buffalo. Not after a man bought an assault rifle and gunned down four people in a Tulsa hospital. If anything, the Supreme Court might soon expand the right to carry guns wherever and whenever you want. Specifically, the court seems likely to overturn New York’s requirement that those who wish to

explains—it’s “legal gibberish.” In the republic’s early days, some states were wary that the Constitution gave the federal government the ability to raise an army. James Madison wanted to retain federal authority while pacifying antifederalists. So we got: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the secur ity of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” “In the Second Amendment, Madison tried to defeat [antifederalists’] hopes by placating them without really addressing them,” Hogeland writes. “The amendment gestures vaguely at

could—like every other developed nation on Earth—make these atrocities vanishingly rare. We choose not to. Instead, we choose fidelity to an amendment that was meant to mean nothing. We choose to worry about whether school libraries have books about two mommies. We choose to blame abortion, or porn, or godlessness. We might choose to arm teachers against weapons of war that turned cops spineless. We choose to do anything but address the problem. And then we wonder why it keeps happening.

Shit Happened SATURDAY 04

Pinellas County Sheriff deputies tried to evict three renters from their house in St. Pete’s Historic Kenwood neighborhood. They eventually had to leave when activists pointed out that the paperwork they had made the eviction illegal. First time a cop hasn’t understood the law they’re being asked to enforce, right? Read more on p. 20.

At least five Tampa Bay Rays players decided not to wear rainbow-colored logos on their uniforms and hats on Pride Night, citing an unwavering belief in a gay-hating version of Jesus Christ. This is the team that wants tax dollars for a new stadium, eh?

FRIDAY 03 The financial-rating agency AM Best said changes passed during a special legislative session last month “are unlikely to alleviate immediate financial pressures” on Florida property insurers. So even the special sessions are performative now—great.

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

Gov. Ron DeSantis said he opposes tax dollars going to professional sports stadiums in explaining his decision to veto a $35 million budget proposal that was expected to benefit the Tampa Bay Rays. Uh, did I just agree with the governor on something? And did you hear that, Ken Welch and Jane Castor?

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cltampa.com | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | 25

10 DAYS. YOUR FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANTS. MULTIPLE-COURSE PRIX FIXE MENUS.

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Tuesday, June 14th, 2022 The Orlo in Historic Hyde Park A portion of proceeds benefits Feeding Tampa Bay meetthechefstampabay.com #meetthechefstampabay

Featuring: 717 South’s Chef Whitney St. Louis, Ava’s Chef John Lister,

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DINING GUIDES

Drive me crazy

The Michelin Guide is coming to Tampa, but should we care? By Faiyaz Kara

he Michelin Guide and its star rating system evoke a deep-seated reverence among chefs, restaurateurs and food lovers across the planet. The respect is aimed at Michelin’s anonymous band of “inspectors,” charged with visiting and objectively rating restaurants from zero to three stars based on five criteria: quality of products; mastery of flavor and cooking techniques; the personality of the chef represented in the dining experience; harmony of the flavors; and consistency between inspectors’ visits. Inspectors dine on Michelin’s dime and have seemingly no conflicts of interest with the restaurants they visit. Never mind that Florida’s tourist boards collectively paid Michelin more than $1.5 million to bring their restaurant inspectors to the Sunshine State, according to the Miami Herald. What’s more is that Pinellas restaurants were not visited by Michelin inspectors since bringing the guide to Florida was an effort coordinated by Visit Florida, Visit Orlando, Visit Tampa Bay and Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau—with Visit St. Pete Clearwater not included. Fact is, Michelin stars translate to tourist dollars, and their reach has become increasingly global. It’s why the guide is gospel for jet-setting gastronauts bent on seeking out finer dining establishments around the world, and why a star can earn a restaurant unprecedented prestige, not to mention an influx of cash.

Many legacy media outlets, including this one, still task critics with steering people toward good restaurants and away from subpar ones, while newer media outlets like Eater are a go-to source on where to dine in major metropolitan areas. So, it begs the question: Is the Michelin Guide necessary? Opinions of chefs and food professionals seem to run the gamut. “We don’t need a guide, especially in the age of social media,” says chef-owner Mark Berdin of Orlando Michelin-star hopeful Kadence. “If you make great food consistently, people will come to your restaurant consistently.” Joe Yardley, who cooked at Michelin-starred Agern in New York City as chef de cuisine before opening Rebellion Wine Bar in Cocoa last year, feels that if Michelin is going to build a presence in the U.S., it’s important it visits Florida. “Anything that brings awareness and business to restaurants in Florida has to be seen as positive. As far as whether we need the guide, it’s always nice to be recognized, but only places trying to show off or express dominance in the marketplace truly need it.” “It’s a pay-for-play situation,” says Knife & Spoon’s John Tesar about the taxpayer dollars used to bring the Michelin Guide to Florida. “Our business loves adulation, but there is no truth in food anymore. Only politics, popularity and pandering.” It’s a blunt, if conflicted, declaration by a five-time James Beard Award nominee, who admits he relishes the thought of his restaurant receiving a Michelin star. When news of the Florida guide, earning a star wasn’t really on Tampa chef Ferrell Alvarez’s mind. But after months of media appearances and people contacting him every day about it, the Beard semifinalist and cofounder of Michelin contender Rooster & the Till started to think about it more; he'll be in Orlando on June 9 when the guide hands out stars to restaurants in an invite-only ceremony. “It does give you this sense of excitement, which is a positive—although the thought of not obtaining one after you have tasted that excitement is kind of disheartening,” he said. “But unfortunately that’s life.” Others, like chef-owner Bryce Bonsack of fellow Michelin contender Rocca in Tampa Heights,

FOOD NEWS

Does Michelin matter? But in an era of internet democratization, does the Michelin Guide really matter? Michelin inspectors, after all, aren’t the only arbiters of taste. There are influencers on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok; “experts” who clickityclack on subReddits, as well as crowdsourced sites like Yelp and TripAdvisor; and more who promote and market restaurants in the food blogosphere. There are organizations like the James Beard Foundation and the World’s 50 Best Restaurants, dedicated to showcasing the most noteworthy restaurants in the biz, though both have certainly seen their fair share of controversy around inclusion, propping up bad players and Eurocentricity.

welcome the guide, saying it’s necessary to legitimize the state’s dining landscape. “Never before in the history of Florida has there been more anticipation and conversation about our restaurant scene. Modern food journalism has been trending towards less restaurant criticism, or reviews with no stars or ratings given, and I think that trend is generally hurtful to restaurants and chefs. People like to discuss who got what and what they think a restaurant should get, and stars and ratings facilitate that.” The star system But there’s a reason why stars and numeric rating systems have quickly faded from restaurant criticism. Stars (still deployed by CL) can offer a generalized snapshot of a restaurant’s worth and

the primary reason why French chef Bernard Loiseau, of 3–Michelin star–rated La Côte d’Or in Burgundy, France, took his own life in 2003, and why Benoît Violier, the French-born chef of Restaurant de l’Hôtel de Ville in Crissier, Switzerland, did the same in 2016. Others have renounced stars or requested to be omitted from the guide, because of the pressure maintaining a star can place on a restaurant’s staff and inner workings. British chef Marco Pierre White went so far as to ban inspectors from his restaurant in Singapore. “Eater got rid of its star rating system last year,” says Mintz, “the San Francisco Chronicle did it a couple of years ago, L.A. Times 10 years ago and, particularly during the pandemic, a lot of newspapers that still did a star system suspended

MELISSA SANTELL

RESTAURANTS

SAY CHEESE: Rocca chef-owner says Michelin Guide is necessary to legitimize the state’s dining landscape. value, especially to the attention deprived, but they’re all too often reductive. In CBC News’ “Front Burner” podcast, food writer and former Toronto Star restaurant critic Corey Mintz takes issue with the arbitrary classism of doling out stars. “There’s never a problem with more people making suggestions of where to eat, that’s always helpful,” says Mintz. “I think it’s the star system and the pressure it puts on people, particularly in the Yelp and social media ‘5-stars-or-it’s-worthless’ era.” The pressure of maintaining a Michelin star, or the risk of losing one, is believed to be

it because they recognized restaurants are going through the hardest time ever. So it’s particularly antiquated for Michelin to come along with the star system as if the hospitality world hasn’t been underwater for the last two years.” “Readers will have to work a little harder to grapple with the text of a review now,” writes Eater’s chief critic, Ryan Sutton, “and that’s a good thing, because they won’t be able to rely on the crutch of a star and all its baggage, ranging from empty authority (that’s you, Michelin) to veiled objectivity to false accessibility. I’ve put continued on page 32

cltampa.com | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | 29

Chef Ray "Dr. BBQ" Lampe Dr. BBQ

Best known for this larger-than-life personality and no-nonsense approach to smoked meats, Chef Ray Lampe’s restaurant has been St. Petersburg’s go-to spot for all-things barbecue since its debut in 2018.

or the first time in years, Creative Loafing’s exciting and interactive “Meet the Chefs” event returns, helping our city kick off 2022’s rendition of Tampa Bay Restaurant Week. Sample small plates from some of Tampa Bay’s hottest restaurants and their envelope-pushing chefs next week at The Orlo, located in the heart of Historic Hyde Park. VIP tickets are already sold out, but

there are still $80 general admission passes available at meetthechefstampabay.com. A portion of ticket sales will benefit Feeding Tampa Bay—a local nonprofit part of the national Feeding America network that’s dedicated to serving food insecure families in the 10-county area of West Central Florida.

Chef Whitney St. Louis 717 South

Under its motto of “Fresh, Local, Original,” Howard Avenue’s 717 South is known for its hormone-free chicken and seafood, seasonal ingredients and sustainable approach to food—all aspects guests can expect from its dish at this year’s Meet the Chefs event. The 717 South kitchen, under the leadership of Chef Whitney St. Louis, will serve a small plate of lasagna, complete with Italian sausage, ground beef, whipped ricotta, mozzarella cheese, house marinara, asiago, and parmesan. There will also be different types of wine and beer available to accompany the various small plates for sampling, as a hearty red wine will certainly pair well with 717 South’s hearty lasagna.

Chef Traci Bryant Caracara

Chef Traci Bryant is behind some of the most exciting culinary concepts in Dunedin with her various restaurants Caracara, Taco Baby, Jack Pallino’s and Nina—just to name a few. Her true affinity for Asian cuisine—and specifically Thai food—can be seen through Caracara’s “tapas and tacos” fusion menu, which is stacked with dishes like Peruvian poutine, mapo tofu tacos and Thai-style chicken wings. Her passion for world travel and international cuisines will be portrayed through her small plate of Thai curry canapé with chilled shrimp, khao soi aioli, pickled mustard green relish, and wonton crisps.

Chef Maria Sierra CW’s Gin Joint

In 2019, CW's Gin Joint chefs served up Tête de Moine rosettes with lavender honey scallop crudo, meyer lemon and dried herbs—and this year’s dish will live up to those same lofty standards. Guests can expect small plates of grilled octopus finished with fresh lemon juice and robust olive oil, alongside a Creole-style shrimp and cheesy grits topped with bacon and chow chow, a pickled relish.

Chef John Lister Ava

And to end CW's Gin Joint’s small plate feast, is a dark chocolate cake, stuffed with raspberry filling and topped with chocolate ganache and fresh berries. And although she creates a wide variety of culinary masterpieces, Chef Sierra tells CL that the main thing she cooks at home for her family is a big hearty pot of pasta.

With a competitor pasta that will give 717 South’s lasagna a run for its money, Chef Lister of Ava will serve a small plate of cavatelli al ragu with fennel sausage and tomato. If you’re not a pasta aficionado, cavatelli is best known for its hot dog bun-like shape, although Chef Lister’s featured dish will be nothing short of elevated. Born and raised in Tampa, Chef John Lister has been Ava’s executive chef for quite some time now, but continuously innovates its menu of homestyle Italian pastas and wood-fired pizzas. With two locations in Tampa and a third in Lakeland’s popular food hall The Joinery, Chef Lister’s hearty Italian menu reaches almost every corner of Tampa Bay.

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During the most recent Meet the Chefs event, Dr. BBQ’s pitmaster served burnt end arepas with ghost pepper jack and a sweet pepper coulis. This year, Dr. BBQ will tone the heat down a bit with his “Q the Nachos” sampler, stacked with beef brisket, crispy pork rinds, Sweet Lee's BBQ Sauce, rattlesnake queso, pico de gallo, lime crema, and pickled onions.

Chef Adam Hyatt Elevage

Located inside of Tampa’s Epicurean Hotel is the fine dining establishment Elevage, whose menu aims to breathe new life into classic recipes. Chef Adam Hyatt is the director of Elevage’s kitchen, but also oversees operations at the EDGE Rooftop Cocktail Lounge. Even with these various responsibilities, Chef Hyatt dedicates himself to Elevage’s ever-changing modern and upscale menu. The former Executive Chef of Steelbach and the HEW Parlor & Chophouse will serve a foie gras mousse and strawberry profiterole at next week’s Meet the Chefs event. And if you don’t have the most adventurous palate, you probably want to avoid Googling foie gras.

Chef Eusebio Rizo & Chef Joshua Rhynes The Living Room

y and ef Ray go-to 2018.

With a sampling menu as cozy and comforting as the restaurant’s name and decor, we’re lucky enough to have two of chefs from Dunedin’s The Living Room —Chef Eusebio Rizo and Chef Joshua Rhynes. With two chefs present, it means double the amount of samples. They’ll be dishing out a “Carne Apache” beef tenderloin on a garlic crostini with avocado cream demolition, napa cabbage, and jalapeño relish, alongside a “Pulled Duck Confit,” served on a tostone with pomodoro soffritto and infused pineapple chimichurri, and a wild-caught yellowfin tuna with feta, honey brined watermelon and a minted pea puree. And it looks like Chef Adam Hyatt of Elevage will have a little liver competition, as The Living Room will also sample its foie gras canapés at next week’s event.

Chef Summer Bailey

Harry Waugh Dessert Room at Bern's Steak House

The Bern’s Steak House name is an area classic that's been around for 65+ years and is about as synonymous with Tampa as Cuban sandwiches and sunshine—but Chef Summer Bailey is newer to the Bern's team, running the iconic Harry Waugh Dessert Room for the past 9 months. Coinciding with the recent changes she’s brought to its dessert menu— nt, Dr.which include incorporating seasonal flavors and ghostmodern techniques—Chef Bailey will sample her year,crowd-favorite yuzu cheesecake with blueberries, Q thecandied lemon zest and caramel popcorn. crispy snakeBern’s executive pastry chef says that she “loves fresh nions.flavors, and adding a little bit of a twist to it at the same time.” Perhaps the most exciting addition to the dessert room’s brunch menu includes “The Cherry”—a dark chocolate, cherry-shaped mousse with a sour cherry marmalade “pit”, cocoa nib brownie base, edible flowers, cherry sorbet and a fresh lime sauce.

Chef Tony Bruno The Brinehouse

Although the Brinehouse’s doors have only been open for a little less than a year, the eatery has been making waves in Northern Pinellas’ restaurant scene with its straightforward approach to barbeque. Chef Tony Bruno will be slinging his espresso cumin-brined pork cheek slider on a pretzel roll, complete with cherry pepper BBQ sauce, pimento cheese spread, housemade pickles, and shaved brussels sprouts. And if is thethat didn't sound like enough food, it also comes with menua side of “Mama’s Macaroni Salad.” You might need Chefto hold this small plate with two hands. chen, oftop ponsiage’s . The HEW ousse Meet

Chef Felix Piedra Vizcaya SoHo

Chef Joe Dodd King of the Coop

Readers of Creative Loafing will surely recognize Chef Joe Dodd of King of the Coop, as we’ve recently covered his various new locations throughout Tampa Bay. With new storefronts in St. Petersburg and Seminole Heights, King of the Coop and its iconic Nashville hot chicken and comforting, Southerninspired sides are spreading throughout the Bay area like wildfire. Guests at next week’s event can expect to sample Dodd’s Nashville hot chicken leg with brussel sprouts and cabbage slaw—but you might want to ask Dodd if he thinks you can handle all of that heat before diving in.

Even though Chef Felix Piedra is still busy getting his newly-opened South Tampa restaurant up and running, he still has time to put together an impressive small plate for Meet the Chefs. Known for its traditional Spanish menu, Chef Piedra will be dishing out manchego cheese-stuffed medjool dates with serrano ham wrapped with pancetta, and baked with marcona almond crumbs. And if you can’t get enough of this sample, you’re in luck because this dish is actually featured on the Vizcaya SOHO menu, alongside other popular items like its empanadas and housemade sangria. Although its most recent location has only been open for a few months, Vizcaya itself has been a Tampa staple for more than a decade, as its flagship restaurant debuted in Carrollwood about 15 years ago.

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a lot of thought into my starred ratings over the years, but I’m certain they were one of the most arbitrary parts of my job. I’m glad I won’t be using them anymore.” Out of touch? Since 1926, the Michelin Guide has promoted automotive tourism by bestowing restaurants that warranted a stop with stars. A 1-star restaurant is deemed to have “high quality cooking” and is “worth a stop”; a 2-star has “excellent cooking” and is “worth a detour”; and a 3-star restaurant offers “exceptional cuisine worth a special journey.” Since 1997, “good quality, good value restaurants” were awarded with a Bib Gourmand. These are typically handed out to places where two courses and a glass of wine or dessert costs no more than $40. In recent years, however, the Michelin Guide has faced increased scrutiny over its judging criteria, in which the focus is placed on food and cooking techniques while issues of equity, race, labor, culture and health go unchecked. In an op-ed in the Globe & Mail, noted chef and restaurateur Jen Agg was highly critical of Michelin’s star rating system and its role in perpetuating a caustic mindset in restaurants. “If you were to work in [a restaurant] that tries to win ‘best of’ lists like Michelin, too often you’d find a toxic culture—places where they focus on hospitality and being a ‘house of yes’ to the diners, yet say no to reasonable requests from employees, such as asking that they not be sexually harassed on the job, or wanting to, y’know, be paid for all their hours worked. Of course, Michelin doesn’t pay attention to all that—if they did, a lot of places would be disqualified.” Alvarez is a hope for the best, prepare for the worst, kind of person who’s long been focused more on the food his restaurants present and the health and wellbeing of his employees, who he admits would get a boost if one of his restaurants earned a star. He thinks Rooster & the Till could get a mention in the guide and would be grateful for the recognition. “If we don’t get a Michelin star, we are not going to remodel our restaurant. Hire or fire our staff. That’s not how we operate. We are a very successful restaurant group that is filled with 63 amazing employees that have families, and we take very seriously being able to provide great jobs for them so they can provide for their families—and that will continue on whether we win or not,” Alvarez explained. “We really truly try to stay humble and focused on what’s important. And whether we win or we lose, come Friday, we are still opening at five o’clock for service. We are still doing the best we can do every day, and our ethos and principles will never waver.” “They do not consider labor a part of their adjudication,” says Mintz on the “Front

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Burner” podcast. “The pandemic and the Great Resignation has been an opportunity for restaurants to rethink how they can operate in a way that values everyone, whereas the Michelin Star Guide is a return to that old-school way of thinking—it’s an elitist system that rewards exactly the kind of behavior that needs to change in the restaurant industry.” Agg concurs. Chefs are overwhelmingly excited about Michelin, she writes, which speaks to change that hasn’t happened in the industry.

Then there’s the issue of transparency. Michelin is tight-lipped about the financial deals hammered out with governmental bodies, like the one with Florida’s tourist boards. “That hasn’t stopped persistent reporters from poking holes in the guide’s carefully cultivated image of editorial independence,” writes Eater’s Brenna Houck. “Can the guide continue to maintain its brand reputation when it’s accepting private money and sponsorships?” And what do we know about the secret cabal of inspectors? How many are there? Are inspec-

FOOD NEWS

SKYLER JUNE

continued from page 29

CONSTANT PROGRESSION: Proper House Group co-founder and chef Ferrell Alvarez says things won’t change at his place if it doesn’t get a star. “To hold on so lovingly to something so rooted in old-school kitchen hierarchy and the kinds of restaurants that mete out real punishments for lack of compliance or failure to perform under immense pressure is the microcosm of why change doesn’t happen. This is an awards system that is so tangled up in the lifting-up of white men with access to capital that even when it throws a bone at a street-food restaurant, it feels very much like that: scraps.” So it’s not surprising that Agg has repeatedly stated that if one of her restaurants were to win a Michelin star, she would return it.

tors primarily white men? What’s their racial, gender and cultural makeup? It’s troubling when former Michelin inspectors, like Chris Watson, consider the idea of giving three stars to an Indian, Chinese or Japanese restaurant “radical.” But supporters of Michelin say the guide offers an informed opinion and acts as a sort of catalyst to propel the industry forward. “They’re easily the most respected restaurant guide in the world, and for good reason," Rocca’s Bonsack added. "The attention Michelin draws will ultimately lead to higher compensation and respect for

“If we don’t get a Michelin star, we are not going to remodel our restaurant, hire or fire our staff. That’s not how we operate.”

serious restaurant professionals here, which is wonderful.” On the “Front Burner” podcast, food writer Nancy Matsumoto says, “There’s this way to think of Michelin and that tier of fine dining as sort of like the equivalent of haute couture. Would I ever buy a dress that costs $5,000? No, but I’m sort of glad it exists, because it creates really top-level artisans.” Even Berdin concedes that the guide is a gauge of the rarefied heights of gastronomy and, at its best, “maintains and raises the caliber of the restaurants and chefs because it gives those people in the industry a rabbit to chase.” Should we care? While newspaper restaurant reviews and their “Best Of ” lists may resonate with locals, a Michelin star unquestionably brings international recognition and the power to attract tourists. But should we care? In an interview the late Anthony Bourdain gave with Maclean’s magazine in 2016, he was asked if a city’s lack of Michelin-starred restaurants equates to a subpar restaurant scene. “No, no, no, I think you’re doing it right if Michelin hasn’t come,” said Bourdain. “They’re utterly useless, and in no way prepared or capable of evaluating restaurants in a modern setting. How do you award stars? What’s the throughline of spectacular soup dumplings or a little tower of foie gras and truffles? No single organization is competent enough to put it all on the same scale. “The world they live in now is in no way the world the Michelin system was set up to evaluate back in France, which was all about motorists and seeing if it was worth driving an extra 50 miles for a restaurant. It’s a silly thing. Why do you want to help a tire company? You don’t owe them nothing.” In Orlando, we tend to wear our inferiority complex on our collective sleeves. How else to explain the longevity of the hashtag #orlandodoesntsuck? We gobble up national and international recognition and too often act like “we don’t belong.” I don’t think any Orlandoan would be overly surprised if Kadence, Kabooki or Soseki received a star, or stars. Or 1921, Luke’s, The Osprey, Ravenous Pig, Immersion, Taste of Chengdu, Jaleo, The Strand or Morimoto Asia. Are Hunger Street Tacos, Deli Desires, Shiraz Market and Orlando Meats worthy of a Bib Gourmand? Sure they are. So do we really need Michelin to tell us what we already know? Or do we so crave international recognition that we would pay a French interloper to pat us on the back and tell us we’re worthy? “You’re not missing anything,” said Bourdain about the Guide and its stars. “Who needs that kind of validation?! I think it’s meaningless. We’ve moved way beyond that.” Others, perhaps, need to catch up. This story contains reporting from Ray Roa and first appeared in Orlando Weekly.

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Feeling Krate

Shipping container park leads latest batch of local food news. By Kyla Fields

elf-described “an open-air entertainment destination featuring one-of-a-kind retail & restaurant concepts,” Wesley Chapel’s new shipping container destination Krate (stylized as “KRATE”) is the new go-to spot for all things food, drink and shopping. Located at 6105 Wesley Grove Blvd. at The Grove, Krate features 55 unique concepts, an outdoor stage for events and presentations, and even an interactive play area for kiddos. The 26,240 square-foot space has been in the works for over two years now, and opened last weekend. Yummy Tabalas, speciality cheese shop, modern Latin restaurant Mojo Grill, Provisions Coffee and Kitchen, The Fryroom, which specializes in beer-battered doughnuts, El Prince Mediterranean Cuisine, Tast’y Ramen, Venezuelan restaurant Chamos and Hawaiian concept Palani are just a few Krate food concepts that are currently open. A couple of Krate’s retail spots and boutiques include The Rebellious Hippie, All Good Things, The Gold Box and Katie Beth’s Boutique—as most of them specialize in small batch crafts, accessories and other goods. Additional businesses include a flower shop and beauty salon, according to ThatsoTampa. Different businesses slated to debut throughout the summer include Bebo’s Philly Cheesesteaks, 2 Extreme Tattoos, Grove Cigars, We Rock Rocks and Italian spot Cafe 365, among many, many more. The entire shipping container park is a wet zone as well, so parents can window shop while sipping on some beer or wine. Keep up with Krate’s latest businesses by following its Facebook at @krateatthegrove and Instagram at @krateatthegrove.

Hawaii-based Bad Ass Coffee will open five new stores in Tampa Bay Coffee and tea franchise, Bad Ass Coffee of Hawaii, announced the signing of a multi-unit agreement that will bring five of its franchise locations to the Tampa Bay area. Bad Ass Coffee is expected to open in Clearwater, St. Petersburg, Treasure Island and Wesley Chapel by mid-2024. The chain already has Florida locations in Naples, Miramar Beach, Pensacola and Santa Rosa Beach, according to a press release. Known for its no-nonsense sourcing and unique approach to the traditional flavors of Hawaiian coffee, Bad Ass locations currently serve an assortment of coffee, teas, espresso beverages, blended drinks like its signature “Koffee Kooler,” smoothies, Hawaiian-inspired food and more. Originally opened in 1989 on the Big Island of Hawaii, Bad Ass Coffee was eventually purchased by a Utah couple in 1995, who began franchising the company across the U.S. Now, there are over 20 locations currently in business with around 70 locations in various stages of development. “When looking at coffee brands, we knew we needed a competitive advantage and Bad Ass Coffee gives us just that,” said Chris Bruckner, a co-franchisee of the preliminary Tampa Bay locations. “Bad Ass Coffee is different and a brand we can truly grow with. We are very active in the communities we operate in and as a resident of Trinity, the greater Tampa market is ideal for our development.”

A Mad Hatter tea-and-gin cocktail party is coming to Tampa next month Not to be confused with St. Pete’s late-night Kava hangout Mad Hatters, this upcoming popup is a dinner theater-meets-mixology event that leads guests down a whimsical, “Alice in Wonderland”-themed rabbit hole. The entire program runs for about 90 minutes, as the Mad Hatter himself leads the audience through the familiar tale, as professional mixologists provide three boozy teas that scream “Drink Me.” All of the craft cocktails provided will be made with gin, but there will be non-alcoholic tea options available as well. Although the secret location of this pop-up has yet to be revealed, tickets can be purchased at feverup.com for $61 per person. Each ticket comes with three whimsical, themed cocktails and all of the Insta-worthy photo opportunities you can dream of. The Mad Hatter’s Gin & Tea Party happens from Thursday-Sunday throughout the month of July. Times range from afternoon tea at 2 p.m. at the earliest, with the latest party starting at 10 p.m. A full list of dates and their available times can be found via madhatterginteaparty.com. This adult tea party is 21+, and its recently-updated COVID19 measures can be found online. This traveling pop-up has already made its rounds in cities like Los Angeles, New York City, Miami, Chicago, Philadelphia, Atlanta and London, as it heads to Tampa for the very first time in July. The tea party’s venues are typically adorned with vines hanging from the ceilings, colorful lights, floral decor, and fancy tea sets. Visit @madhatterginteaparty on Instagram and Facebook to keep up with the latest updates from this traveling tea party. And yes, you are more than welcome to come dressed as your favorite Alice in Wonderland character, so get those top hats and petticoats ready.

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BOXED IN: Wesley Chapel’s newest hangout lets visitors get outside.

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THAT’S MY DJ: Open since 1958, Dairy Joy’s new management did a ‘50s-inspired pastel makeover in 2018.

RAY ROA

The scoop

20 essential old-school ice cream shops in Tampa Bay. By Molly Ryan

lorida and ice cream go together like spotty bananas on a chocolate sundae, and it’s been this way for a long, long time. The Tampa Bay area has a ton of classic ice cream spots that have stood the test of time, and so what follows is a few of the oldest and most iconic ice cream joints around. Bo’s Ice Cream Bo’s opened its doors in 1954 thanks to World War II veteran, Kenneth “Mr. Bo” Miller Bosanko, and says it’s oldest ice cream shop in Tampa. Enjoyed by generations of Tampeños, this Seminole Heights spot offers both drive-thru and walk-up service, and features ice cream classics like Bo’s bestseller, the banana split in a cup. 7101 N Florida Ave, Tampa, 813-302-9644. @ bosicecream on Instagram Campbell’s Dairyland A place for people of all ages to enjoy, Brandon’s hallmark Campbell’s Dairyland looks like its own mini carnival. Alongside ice cream, shakes, loaded sundaes and other frozen treats, Campbell’s pretty much has any classic craving you can think of from chili dogs to crab cakes. 200 S Parsons Ave., Brandon, 813-685-1189

Candy Kitchen A mile north of John’s Pass, Madeira Beach’s Candy Kitchen has stood its ground as a Florida favorite since 1950. Priding itself on its homemade ice cream and “ever growing pez collection,” both the original Candy Kitchen and its sister location in Redington Shores has a sweet for anyone. Even if you don’t stay for the ice cream, check out the OG spot’s bathroom—which has been covered floor-toceiling in candy wrappers and boxes for decades. 13711 Gulf Blvd., Madeira Beach, 727-392-6803. candykitchenfl.com The Citrus Place With a vintage road sign you truly can’t miss, it can’t really get anymore “Old Florida” than The Citrus Place. Right across the Sunshine Skyway Bridge, near Palmetto, the citrus place carries just about any locally sourced item you could hope for while serving soft serve and housemade key lime pies. 7200 US-19, Terra Ceia, 941-722-6745. @ thecitrusplace on Facebook Dairy Inn Dairy Inn declares itself as “Almost famous since 1947” due to its origins as a Dairy-Queen-turned-family business status. After undergoing many rounds of renovations

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and menu changes, Dairy Inn remains one of St. Pete’s most beloved ice cream spots. According to its website, its already extensive menu is being updated—but will surely include its current offering of over 150 milkshake flavors. 1201 Dr. M.L.K. Jr. St N, St. Petersburg, 727-822-6971. @dairy.inn on Facebook Dairy Joy While scooping ice cream since 1958, Dairy Joy fell under new management in 2018 and received a revamped, ‘50s-inspired pastel makeover. Located in the true heart of South Tampa, Dairy Joy, complete with an Elvis outside, offers outdoor seating and serves a vast selection of soft serve, dipped cones, and old-fashioned sundaes and shakes. 3813 S Manhattan Ave., Tampa, 813-839-5485. dairyjoytampa.com Dairy Kurl As the oldest ice cream shop in Clearwater, Dairy Kurl has been enjoyed by patrons near and far for over 60 years. In sizes small to “monster,” the spot offers soft serve, milkshakes, soda floats, shaved ice and more. Although ice cream is its specialty, Dairy Kurl also serves hot dogs. 1555 Gulf to Bay Blvd., Clearwater, 727-303-0848. dairykurl.com Dairy Rich Creamery With pastel colors and vibrant signage, Dairy Rich Creamery in Palm Harbor offers an old school parlor experience. With an abundance of outdoor seating, it offers an abundance of flavors, toppings and sizes alongside “community inspired” burgers, dogs, sandwiches and more. 3109 Alt. US-19, Palm Harbor, 727-771-8154. dairyrichcreamery.com

Dice’s Dairy’n Dogs With its wide range of options listed on hanging wooden menus, this place has a vibe that is stuck in the ‘70s. With its specialties being precisely in the name, ice cream and hotdogs, Dice’s also serves sandwiches, sides, pizzas and more. 4930 Allen Rd, Zephyrhills, 813-782-4303 Hudson Beach Ice Cream Parlor With over 40 homemade flavors of ice cream, sherbert, Italian ice, with sugar-free and low-fat options, you can’t miss out on Hudson Beach Ice Cream Parlor when in Pasco County. Adorned with neon signs, memorabilia and a checkerboard floor, the nostalgic spot is walking distance from the beach and offers plenty of indoor and outdoor seating. 6930 Clark St., Hudson, 727-378-4496. hudsonbeachicecream.com Larry’s Ice Cream and Gelato Since 1984, Larry’s Ice Cream has been a St. Pete Beach hit with its homemade waffle cones and myriad of flavors. On top of rows upon rows of ice cream and gelato tubs with dairy-free and gluten-free options, Larry’s also serves donuts, malts, brickoven flatbread pizzas, hotdogs, burgers, local beer and wine. 6965 Gulf Blvd, St. Pete Beach, 727-360-4259 larrysicecream.com Old Farmer’s Creamery Living up to its title, you can’t miss the Old Farmer’s Creamery red barn facade and cow-printed entryway. Boasting a selection of 48 different flavors from peanut butter punch out to chocolate kraken’s revenge, continued on page 40

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DO THE TWISTEE: Twistee Treat might be a chain, but it’s still worth shouting out. continued from page 37 the spot makes and manufactures its own ice cream almost daily. 2531 4th St. N, St. Petersburg, 727-896-2827. @oldfarmerscreamery on Facebook Parkesdale Farm Market At Parkesdale Farm Market, “Strawberries are King”—but the ice cream’s pretty good, too. Part of the Parkesdale Farm, which began operating in 1956, the Parke family opened the market in 1969 where they offer famous strawberry shortcakes during strawberry season and ice cream, milkshakes, popsicles and parfaits all-year-round. 3702 W Baker St., Plant City, 813-754-2704. parkesdale.com Papa Clyde’s Ice Cream From pumpkin to peanut butter overload, Papa Clyde’s offers a diverse selection of ice cream, sundaes and banana splits in an atmosphere that has changed little since its opening. With reminiscent decor and prices that be beat, this place is a must-visit. 1217 Kass Cir., Spring Hill, 352-688-4464 Shake Pit Need a real-deal blast from the past? Next time you’re in Bradenton, stop by Shake Pit. Serving shakes, sundaes, cones, burgers, fries and more, its safe to bet this place has undergone few dramatic changes since it first opened in 1959. 3801 Manatee Ave. W, Bradenton, 941-748-4016 Strachan’s Ice Cream & Desserts Strachan’s has maintained big mom-and-pop energy since opening opening its first location in Palm Harbor in 1999. With additional locations in Dunedin and Countryside, Strachan’s serves ice cream made from scratch and an award-winning carrot cake. Multiple locations. strachansdesserts.com

Sweetie’s Ice Cream Parlor As the “Sweetest Spot on the Tarpon Springs Sponge Docks”, Sweeties has been serving ice cream, coffee, various desserts and an assortment of blended drinks like shakes and smoothies since 1993. Now offering vegan, gluten-free and boozy options, Sweeties has over 40 flavors of ice cream, frozen yogurt, sorbet and sherbet. 842 Dodecanese Blvd., Tarpon Springs, 727-935-1054. sweeties-icecream.com Tanya & Matt’s Ice Creamiest Owned and operated by four Tampa native sisters, Tanya & Matt’s Ice Creamiest has been serving up sweet treats in Carrollwood for over 30 years. Offering over 40 housemade flavors of ice cream, Tanya & Matt’s serves a selection of classics, kid favorites and specialties like Mississippi Mud Pie, Oreo Red Velvet and Kahlua. They also offer vegan options. 15742 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa, 813-533-3314. icecreamiest.com TJ’s Deli and Ice Cream True to its name, TJ’s Deli and Ice Cream is known for its expansive and diverse menu. From subs to wraps and cookies to root beer floats, TJ’s guarantees to offer savory and sweet flavors for all sorts of cravings. 37752 Meridian Ave., Dade City, 352-668-9671 Twistee Treat While Twistee Treat is a chain, it’s earned its spot on this list because it’s Florida-based and truly iconic. Hard-to-miss with its ice cream cone-shaped window service, their menu and old-school attitude has hardly changed since it opened in the ‘80s with cones, floats, sundaes and boats. With around 10 locations in and around Tampa Bay, Twistee Treat is a must. Multiple locations. twisteetreat.com

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‘Rona. It’s still a thing, and you should call or contact these local breweries to learn their COVID-19 protocol. Email rroa@cltampa.com and stephanie@cltampa.com for any edits and suggestions. 3 DAUGHTERS BREWING One of downtown St. Pete’s District’s most popular hangouts, and a beautiful facility in which to drink some great brews. 222 22nd St. S, St. Petersburg. 727-495-6002, 3dbrewing.com 3 KEYS BREWING South-of-the-Skyway restaurant and brewery specializing in small batches. 2505 Manatee Ave. E, Bradenton. 951-218-0396, 3keysbrewing.com 5 BRANCHES BREWING Veteran-owned brewery, small batches from IPAs to stouts. Serving brews and a clear view of the Tarpon Bayou. 531 Athens St., Tarpon Springs. fivebranchesbrewing.com 7VENTH SUN BREWING Some of the best sours, IPAs and collabs going. Two locations. 1012 Broadway, Dunedin. 727-733-3013/6809 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-231-5900, 7venthsun.com 81BAY BREWING CO. South Tampa’s first craft brewery boasts a wide variety of styles. 4465 W Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-837-BREW, 81baybrewco.com ANGRY CHAIR Crazy-good Seminole Heights beer, open Tuesday-Sunday. Just don’t park on Fern Street (there’s a lot behind the auto body shop). 6401 N Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-238-1122, angrychairbrewing.com ARKANE ALEWORKS A wide variety of styles and flavors from the second brewery to open in Largo. 2480 E Bay Dr., No. 23, Largo. 727-270-7117, arkanebeer.com AVID BREWING This Grand Central brewing supply shop added a taproom for its beers crafted in-house. 1745 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. 727-388-6756, avidbrew.com BARRIEHAUS BEER CO. Lager-specific brewery, carrying on an over 150 year brewing legacy. 1403 E 5th Ave., Ybor City. barriehaus.com BASTET Named after the Egyptian cat-goddess, the brewery offers seasonal ales, ciders and even the occasional hard ginger beer. 1951 E Adamo Dr. Suite B, Tampa. bastetbrewing.com BAY CANNON BEER CO. West Tampa’s first craft brewery, offering a variety of ever evolving beers, beer slushies and wine that pair perfectly with appetizers and entrées from the kitchen. 813-442-5615, baycannon.com BAYBORO BREWING CO. Veteran-owned kid-friendly brewery that has tons of events to go with its creative tap list. 2390 5th Ave. S, St. Petersburg. (727) 767-9666, bayborobrewing.com BIG STORM BREWING CO. Stop by this Pasco brewery’s Storm Room for a flight, or visit its taproom on 49th Street in Clearwater, too. 2330 Success Dr., Odessa. 727-807-7998, bigstormbrewery.com BIG TOP BREWING Perhaps Sarasota’s premier purveyor of locally crafted beer, Big Top’s reputation has spread far beyond the region. 6111 Porter Way, Sarasota. 941-371-2939, bigtopbrewing.com BOOTLEGGERS BREWING CO. This Brandon taproom from Bootleggers Beer & Wine Home Brewing Supplies offers house-made suds and guest beers. 652 Oakfield Dr., Brandon. 813-643-9463, bootleggersbrewco.com BRASSERIE ST. SOMEWHERE Award-winning Belgian farmhouse ales from veteran Bay area brewer Bob Sylvester who’s moved tastings inside his brewery. 115 S Ring Ave., Tarpon Springs. 813-503-6181, saintsomewherebrewing.com BREW BUS BREWING BB’s Seminole Heights taproom is moving a few blocks up Florida Ave., but until then sip on the Bus’ offerings at the Wesley Chapel facility. 2029 Arrowgrass Dr., Wesley Chapel. 813-452-6333, brewbususa.com BREW HUB Some of the area’s best beers are produced here along with suds for its own label. 3900 Frontage Rd. S, Lakeland. 863-698-7600, brewhub.com BREW LIFE BREWING Ultra-small batches, and a lot of ‘em. 5765 S Beneva Rd., Sarasota. 941-952-3831, brewlifebrewing.com BRIGHTER DAYS BREW CO. Tarpon Springs spot specializing in music-inspired brews like the “So Fresh n’ So Clean sour” and “All the Single Belgians.” 311 N Safford Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-2350 BULLFROG CREEK BREWING CO. A multitude of styles from former garage brewers is on tap in Valrico. 3632 Lithia Pinecrest Rd., Valrico. 813-703-8835, bullfrogcreekbrewing.com CAGE BREWING Custom brews in the Grand Central District from one of the ‘Burg’s best. 2001 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. 727-201-4278 CALEDONIA BREWING Great in-house beers in the

42 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

historic Dunedin Times building. 587 Main St., Dunedin. 727-351-5105, caledoniabrewing.com CALUSA BREWING Family owned and operated, open Tuesday-Sunday. 5701 Derek Ave., Sarasota. 941-9228150, calusabrewing.com CARROLLWOOD BREWING CO. “Secret” brewing action inside the Carrollwood location of craft-bar chain The Brass Tap. 10047 N Dale Mabry Hwy Suite 23, Tampa. 813-969-2337. brasstapbeerbar.com CIGAR CITY BREWING Tampa’s most famous craft brewery. There’s also a taproom at Amalie Arena. 3924 W Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363, cigarcitybrewing.com CLEARWATER BREWING CO. Community-oriented and socially and environmentally conscious. 1700 N Fort Harrison Ave., Clearwater. clearwaterbrewingcompany.com COPPERTAIL BREWING CO. Some of Tampa’s best beer, in one of its best tasting rooms. 2601 E 2nd Ave., Ybor City. 813-247-1500, coppertailbrewing.com COTEE RIVER BREWING Craft beer in the heart of historic downtown New Port Richey. 5760 Main St., New Port Richey. 727-807-6806, coteeriverbrewing.com CRAFT LIFE BREWING Small-batch local brews and a sort of playground for LoL’s craft brewing guild. 4624 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-575-8440. @ craftlifebrewing on Facebook CROOKED THUMB BREWERY Safety Harbor’s first brewery boasts homegrown flavor, local guest taps and a killer Tuesday songwriters session. 555 10th Ave. S, Safety Harbor. 727-724-5953, crookedthumbbrew.com CUENI BREWING CO. Located off the Pinellas Trail in Dunedin. 945 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. 727266-4102, cuenibrewing.com CYCLE BREWING One of St. Pete’s favorites. 534 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-320-7954. cyclebrewing.com DARWIN BREWING CO. Unique beers crafted with South American influence. 803 17th Ave. W, Bradenton. 941-747-1970, darwinbrewingco.com DE BINE BREWING CO. This addition bolsters the Northern Pinellas craft beer scene. 933 Florida Ave., Palm Harbor, 727-233-7964. DEVIANT LIBATION Latest project from local beer god Tim Ogden housed in the upcoming immersive art collective Crab Devil. 3800 N Nebraska Ave., 727379-4677, devitantlibation.com DISSENT BREWING CO. Unique flavors and adventurous style outside downtown St. Pete. 5518 Haines Rd. N, St. Petersburg. 727-342-0255. DUNEDIN BREWERY Florida’s oldest. Beer, eats and live music. 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-736-0606, dunedinbrewery.com DUNEDIN HOUSE OF BEER This beer stop brews its own, and also has 40 guest taps. 927 Broadway, Dunedin. 727 216-6318, dunedinhob.com ESCAPE BREWING CO. Another very worthy OdessaTrinity destination. 9945 Trinity Blvd., Suite 108, Trinity. 727-807-6092, escapebrewingcompany.com FLYING BOAT BREWING COMPANY St. Pete aviation history and tasty homegrown suds. It’s where Tampa fave King State brews its wares. 1776 11th Ave. N, St. Petersburg. 727-800-2999, flyingboatbrewing.com FOUR STACKS BREWING An always-changing lineup of local and regional guest suds, along with trivia, live music and more. 5469 N. U.S. Hwy-41, Apollo Beach. 813-641-2036, fourstacksbrewing.com GRAND CENTRAL BREWHOUSE 10,270 square-foot brewery, taproom, beer garden, and event venue with a lager-focused tap list. 2340 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-202-6071, grandcentralbrew.com GREEN BENCH BREWING CO. A space worthy of the adventurous beers it produces. 1133 Baum Ave. N, St. Petersburg. 727-800-9836, greenbenchbrewing.com GOOD LIQUID BREWING CO. 30 taps and food (and a coffee roaster!) from a husband-and-wife duo. 4824 14th St. W, Bradenton. 941-896-6381, thegoodliquidbrewing.com GRINDHAUS BREW LAB Small batches and no extracts. 1650 N Hercules Ave., Clearwater. 727-240-0804, grindhausbrewlab.com GULFPORT BREWERY + EATERY Small batches with an artisanal food menu. 3007 Beach Blvd., Gulfport. 727954-4109, gulfport-brewing.com

HOB BREWING CO. Rotating taps; some of the beers are brewed on-site and alongside a combination of local breweries plus local and international craft beer makers. 931 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. hob.beer IF I BREWED THE WORLD This self-described “mixtape of breweries” offers a bit of everything from the classic to the fun and outrageous. 2200 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. 727-201-4484, ifibrewedtheworld.com IN THE LOOP BREWING Family-friendly Land O’ Lakes brewery with a lot of community support and plenty of events. 3338 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-997-9189, intheloopbrewingcompany.com INFUSION BREWING CO. Another great location in the good-beer-packed Trinity-New Port Richey area. 7813 Mitchell Blvd. Suite 103, Trinity. 727-312-4512. JDUB’S BREWING CO. You know ‘em, you love ‘em. A favorite statewide phenomenon. 1215 Mango Ave., Sarasota. 941-955-2739, jdubsbrewing.com KING STATE Named the No. 8 coffee shop in America by Food & Wine, King State is also home to brewer and Flying Boat Brewing Co. alum Aric Parker, who’s making some of the cleanest core beers plus a dynamic offering of rotating taps and bomber options available on-site in limited capacities. 520 E Floribraska Ave., Tampa. 813221-2100, king-state.com LAGERHAUS BREWERY & GRILL A Palm Harbor bar and eatery that offers seasonal brews to complement its regulars. 3438 East Lake Business, Palm Harbor. 727-216-9682, lagerhausbrewery.com LATE START BREWING This beloved Tampa label does its thing inside the Pour House. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd. #112, Tampa. 813-402-2923, latestartbrewing.com LEAVEN BREWING Riverview’s first brewery is run by folks who’ve got experience brewing big and small. 11238 Boyette Rd., Riverview. 813-677-7023, leavenbrewing.com MAD BEACH CRAFT BREWING Brews, ciders, and meads by the beach. 12945 Village Blvd., Madeira Beach. 727-362-0008, madbeachbrewing.com MAGNANIMOUS BREWING In a warehouse a half-block north of I-275, this addition to Tampa’s beer scene provides a large variety to drink in or to go–curbside pickup available. The brewery also serves Ginger Beard coffee when the tasting room is open including a peanut butter oat draft latte. 1410 Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-415-3671, magnanimousbrewing.com MARKER 48 Hernando’s first production craft brewery, with its own tasting room and beer garden 12147 Cortez Blvd, Weeki Wachee. 352-606-2509, marker48.com MASTRY’S BREWING CO. From CD Roma’s restaurant to sweet new digs on St. Pete Beach. 7701 Blind Pass Rd., St. Pete Beach. 727-202-8045, mastrysbrewingco.com MOTORWORKS BREWING A taproom and beer garden featuring full liquor and wine as well as 30 taps. 1014 9th St. W, Bradenton. 941-567-6218, motorworksbrewing.com MR. DUNDERBAK’S The longtime restaurant, biergarten and homebrewers’ hangout is serving its own beers. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-977-4104, dunderbaks.com NAUGHTY MONK BREWERY Naughty Monk brings a love of Belgian styles to Manatee County. 2507 Lakewood Ranch Blvd., Bradenton. 941-708-2966, naughtymonkbrewery.com OVERFLOW BREWING St. Pete’s newest, courtesy of local Rapp head brewer Troy Bledsoe and company. 770 1st Ave. N, St. Petersburg. 727-914-0665. @overflowbrewingco on Facebook PEPPER BREWING The Angry Pepper Taphouse’s in-house label, available “on a limited basis.” 9366 Oakhurst Rd., Seminole. 727-596-5766, angrypeppertaphouse.com PESKY PELICAN BREW PUB This beachy restaurant also offers its own beers thanks to an in-house nano

system. 923 72nd. St. N, St. Petersburg. 727-302-9600, peskypelicanbrewpub.com PINELLAS ALE WORKS PAW offers a dog-friendly environment in addition to tasty brews. 1962 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. 727-235-0970, pawbeer.com PYE ROAD MEADWORKS Located in Odessa, Pye Road focuses on mead but also keeps beer and wine in house for naysayers of the fermented honey drink. 8533 Gunn Hwy., Odessa. 813-510-3500, pyeroad.com RAPP BREWING CO. The late Greg Rapp’s awardwinning styles are carefully crafted and delicious. 10930 Endeavor Way, Seminole. 727-544-1752, rappbrewing.com RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER This video game-centric Grand Central District craft beer bar started brewing its own in early 2018. 2244 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-360-0766, stpetearcadebar.com ROCK BROTHERS BREWING Brews named for national and local bands have a home in Ybor City. 1901 N. 15th St., Ybor City. 813-241-0110, rockbrothersbrewing.com SARASOTA BREWING CO. House-crafted brews, pizza, and sports out toward beautiful Siesta Key. 6607 Gateway Ave., Sarasota. 941-925-2337, sarasotabrewing.com SILVERKING BREWING CO. This space in Tarpon Springs complements a label that’s been around since 2012. 325 E Lemon St., Tarpon Springs. 727-422-7598, silverkingbrewing.com SIX TEN BREWING A wide variety and a real passion for the craft-brew community. 7052 Benjamin Rd., Tampa. 813-886-0610, sixtenbrewing.com SOGGY BOTTOM BREWING More Dunedin goodness, including some truly original flavors and inventive brews. 660 Main St., Dunedin. 727-601-1698, soggybottombrewing.com SOUTHERN BREWING & WINEMAKING Multiple brews only available in its tasting room, as well as products and guidance for local homebrewers. 4500 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-238-7800, southernbrewingwinemaking.com ST. PETE BREWING CO. Beers crafted specifically for the climate. 544 1st Ave. N, St. Petersburg. 727-692-8809, stpetebrewingcompany.com STILT HOUSE BREWERY This friendly Palm Harbor joint specializes in high-ABV ales and other styles you won’t find at other breweries in the area. 625 U.S. Hwy Alt-19, Palm Harbor. 727-270-7373, stilthousebrewery.com SWAN BREWING Nearly 4 decades of combined brewing experience go into the offerings at this pet-friendly joint. Two locations. 2972 Lakeland Highlands Rd./115 W. Pine St., Lakeland. 863-703-0472, swanbrewing.com TBBC Formerly Tampa Bay Brewing Co., local favorite for nearly two decades, with two locations. 1600 E 8th Ave., Ybor City/13933 Monroe’s Business Park, Westchase. 813-247-1422, tbbc.beer TIDAL BREWING COMPANY Small batches in Spring Hill. 14311 Spring Hill Dr., Spring Hill. 352-7011602, tidalbrewingfl.com TWO FROGS BREWING CO. Tarpon Springs’ latest brewery and taproom focuses on American ale styles. 151 E Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-6077, @twofrogsbrewing on Facebook KEEL FARMS AGRARIAN ALE + CIDER Tasty brews from the folks behind Keel & Curley winery. 5210 W Thonotosassa Rd., Plant City. 813-752-9100, keelandcurleywinery.com TWO LIONS WINERY & PALM HARBOR BREWERY Wine and beer brewed in-house. 1022 Georgia Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-786-8039, twolionswinery.com ULELE SPRING BREWERY Beer crafted in accordance with traditional Bavarian purity laws. 1810 N Highland Ave., Tampa. 813-999-4952, ulele.com THE WILD ROVER BREWERY What started as an English pub in Odessa is now a higher-production facility in Westchase. 13921 Lynmar Blvd., Tampa. 813-475-5995, thewildroverbrewery.com WOODWRIGHT BREWING CO. Traditional German styles in downtown Dunedin. 985 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-238-8717, @woodwrightbrewing on Facebook WOVEN WATER BREWING CO. Tampa Heights brewer with a focused menu often using fresh fruit as part of its beers. 456 W Columbus Dr., Tampa. 813-443-9463, wovenwaterbrew.com ZEPHYRHILLS BREWING CO. East Paco’s first microbrewery. 38530 5th Ave., Zephyrhills. 813-715-2683, zbcbeer.com ZYDECO BREW WERKS Craft brews in Ybor thanks to an award-winning brewmaster, as well as full bars and NOLA-influenced cuisine. 1902 E 7th Ave., Ybor City. 813252-4541, @zydecobrewwerks on Facebook

Join us as we celebrate providing beers to thirsty Floridians for 25 years!

july 1• friday

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Live Music by Jeriko Turnpike & Axe Throwing by Stumpy’s cltampa.com | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | 43

New Growth Second Chapter 3 (detail), 2021, Thread and fabric sewn on canvas Collection of Claire Oliver and Ian Rubinstein

44 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

THEATER The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Through June 19, $35 Stageworks Theatre, 1120 E Kennedy Blvd., Suite 151, Tampa. 813-374-2416. stageworkstheatre.org

MOVIES

THEATER

ART

CULTURE

Joy, u-n-m-i-t-i-g-a-t-e-d

Stageworks’ latest will make you laugh and bring you to tears. By Jon Palmer Claridge care and apt humor, inserting these good sports for maximum effect and allowing for nightly surprises. The two adults running the bee, Ms. Krueger (Rona Peretti) and Matthew McGee (Vice Principal Patch), are superb improv comedians who add hilarious commentary in the moment, particularly roasting the unsuspecting audience volunteers. The other adult in the room, Corey Kelly as Mitch lends a touch of subversive humor (and a dulcet baritone) as a tender ex-convict handing out juice boxes and escorting the tearful losers as part of his community service. The cast of spellers is uniformly delightful; each making the most of their moment in the spotlight. They’re filled with the joy of competition, before they begin to resent each other. Making her professional debut, Jordan

row. She has a winning smile, but she’s a loner; it seems that the words she learns from the dictionary “Are the friends that I’ll have forever / More than the friends I have made in school.” Finn’s infectious score is well-served by Music Director Juan Rodriguez and his offstage band which provides enthusiastic accompaniment and Jo Averill-Snell (whose lighting seems to be everywhere in town) enhances each developing mood beautifully. It’s exactly what we all need in this moment. Critic’s note: I wasn’t necessarily a speller, but as a critic, I love words. I hope you’ll do yourself a favor and spend a joyous couple of hours with these folks. But regardless, please take the time to “Google” Harini Logan, who won last week’s real national spelling bee in the first ever historic “spell-off” lightning round. The 14-year old from San Antonio spelled 21 words in a rapid fire 90 second burst. None of which I had ever even heard! And, while claiming to be a slow speller, she’s so quick you can barely follow. It’s absolutely amazing and joyous.

NED AVERILL-SNELL

n explosion of unmitigated joy is waiting for you at Stageworks Theatre in Channelside. “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,” running just through June 19, is the inoculation against all that is wrong with our world. Perhaps it’s the intimacy of the space, but the collective smiles of the young cast produce enough energy and love to incinerate any demons that came with you into the theater. I laughed out loud often and I was brought to tears. The late Stephen Sondheim, truly the Shakespeare of our time, was a champion of ambivalence and duality. Hence, he once quipped that he admired The Wiz for capturing joy— something he had no idea how to do despite his genius. Joy, it seems, is in short supply. This week seemed like I was about to be swept away in a tsunami of despair. First, by the seeming failure to act in the face of unspeakable gun violence. And then by cognitive dissonance over worshiping assault rifles while SCOTUS threatens to deny women bodily autonomy. But once I glimpsed designer Karla Hartley’s middle school gym set and heard that anthem of youth, the Beach Boys’ “Be True to Your School,” my troubles melted away. Not that the musical doesn’t challenge us. Thanks to themes of bullying, parental neglect, teen insecurity, helicopter parents, tiger moms, peanut allergies, and an entire song about unwanted and inconvenient erections, the production is practically a handbook for every known facet of teenage angst. Everyone likes to win, but real life means we also sometimes lose. And, unfortunately, we’re so full of misinformation, that for the first time in our troubled history, a loser incited an insurrection in an attempt to overturn a fair election. Here, despite the competition, lessons are learned and kids emerge with a sense of well-being instead of failure. Director Paul E. Finocchiaro (who also teams with Heather Krueger to create the splendid costumes) has a clear focus and has assembled a stellar cast of singing actors. Each performer embodies an egghead spelling trope which in the hands of William Finn (author of the Tonywinner, “Falsettos”) and his collaborator, Rachel Sheinkin, melts your heart. One surefire gimmick is recruiting four audience members to join the group of wordsmiths and integrating them with

Lakins as the lisping Schwartzy is a dynamo who suffers through her two “win at any cost” overbearing (don’t say?) gay fathers. Dylan Glover (Chip) a Boy Scout returning to defend his title awkwardly finds puberty hitting at just the wrong time. Patrick C. Messmer (the A.D.D. Leaf) is a homeschooler overshadowed by his siblings hilariously attired in two many homemade superhero capes. Katie Huettel (Marcy) shines as the uber-overachiever who exudes energy and confidence as the girl who never loses, but finally learns a valuable lesson leading to a happy life. The commanding Austin White (know-itall Barfée—“accent aigu”) embodies the geek dressed in shorts and two-toned wingtips which he uses for his famous “Magic Foot” method of spelling glory, even though he only has one working nostril and a prickly personality. Ultimately, though, Julia Rifino as Olive is the most fully dimensional character with a poignant back story of parental indifference. The hurt behind her eyes reaches to the back

GIVE BEES A CHANCE: (L-R) Jordan Lakins, Austin White, Katie Huettel, Julia Rifino and Dylan Glove.

cltampa.com | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | 45

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Seriously funny

Sandra Bernhard’s St. Pete Pride set arrives as Florida has something major at stake. By Megan Hickey

or one night only and as part of St Pete know, to use the right pronouns and language. Pride’s 20th-anniversary programming, the It’s like – we’re all a little more complicated iconic Sandra Bernhard will perform live than that! So you gotta know when you have at Palladium Theater on Sunday, June 12. A an ally in somebody who’s been in the trenches pioneer of the one-woman show, Bernhard will before there was any sort of you know, deeper bring a completely unique understanding of it. You and raucous mix of cabajust gotta say: ‘I’m gonna ret, stand-up, rock-n-roll, let this lady do her thing!’ and social commentary to So it’s a dual sort of experiSt. Pete Pride: Sandra Bernhard Sunday, June 12, 7 p.m. $45 & up her live stage performance. ence. But any time people Palladium Theater, 253 5th Ave. N, From her groundbreaking are thinking and intellecSt. Petersburg. stpetepride.org 1990s role as a bisexual tual- izing, I think it’s a woman on “Roseanne” to her recent role as great thing. And I think that people have to an HIV activist nurse in the FX series “Pose,” know and be steeped in history. So I think it’s Bernhard has been on the cultural frontlines all a good reflection of people just going a lot of the queer community for decades, delivering deeper than they ever have before. her singular brand of irreverent, intellectuallyinformed comedy and social commentary. She As an ‘elder stateswoman’ in the LGBTQ movespoke with St Pete Pride from her home in New ment, when you think about your art and your York City. work, what do you feel like you can lend to the conversation that a young 20-something might What does it mean to you to perform in St. Pete not be able to? What do you feel like your voice at a moment when Florida is an epicenter for is at this stage of your life, using the platform anti-LGBTQ backlash and cultural upheaval, that you have? from the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ legislation to book- I think it’s what it’s always been. I feel like I’m banning initiatives? a warrior and that I have this sort of energy to Prides have always been a great place to go fight the fight in a way that a lot of people don’t: and perform but because of the times we’re liv- I don’t fold, I don’t bend, I don’t break. I’m just ing in, it’s inspiring and exciting to be coming sort of like: Let’s get on with it! Let’s get into down to Florida and doing gay pride because the trenches. Let’s fucking make this shit hapthere’s something at stake pen, you know? Let’s shoot and that always means a down the enemy – I mean lot for all of us. So many the enemies are flying times at gay pride it’s like overhead – let’s fucking –‘Gay pride! Woo woo!’ – bring ‘em down! It’s like, and there’s nothing really you gotta get tough, buck anchoring it. But to have it actually be a time up, get on with the fucking show. You know, when everything is being challenged, and that’s always been my attitude, and I feel like crushed... it’s just great because it’s always so all the people I’ve looked up to and respected much more inspiring. I think people come out to over the years have that sort of stamina: the see a show looking for the artist to recalibrate Lily Tomlins, the Gloria Steinems, the list is a them and unite them and I think that’s what mile long... Jane Fonda. Chrissie Hynde... just I’ve always been good at when I’m at my best. women who are like, ‘get on with the shit!’ You And when things are at a lull and people aren’t know? So it’s just like, let’s dispense with the as engaged, it’s hard to get them motivated. I parsing and get on with the battle. think it’s going to be a really important night. On the series “Pose,” you play an HIV nurse and You’ve always been someone who’s wanted activist. Having lived in New York in the 80s to blow up traditional categories within soci- during the AIDS crisis – losing friends, being an ety - including within the queer community. activist – what did it mean to you personally Does this recent shift in the LGBTQ community to go back into that space for your role and to toward a wide spectrum of identities and self- have a platform to show young people today concepts feel like something of a realization what it was like? of what you’ve hoped for? It was emotional. A lot of emotion on set. I Yeah, in theory. But it also gets exhausting mean sometimes more for me than even other when you’re being corrected all the time, you people because you know, a lot of the younger

“I think it’s going to be a really important night.”

BRIAN ZIEGLER

INTERVIEW

ORANGE YOU GLAD: Bernhard’s St. Set arrives at a time when LGBTQ rights in Florida are under attack. performers, MJ and everybody – they’re in their 20s and 30s. But I think it united everybody on the set and it gave everybody the opportunity to look at their own life and where they’ve arrived to. So it was like this full circle experience [for them]: to be trans and respected and taken care of and celebrated. And for me, it was just the opportunity to reflect all the emotion and the

experience I had at the time and say, wow, you know, here we are telling the story in a way, we’re now looking back in the rear-view mirror, we can be, you know, triumphant. During your decades being in the queer community and being an activist, there’s been so much continued on page 48

cltampa.com | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | 47

THANK YOU FOR VOTING US BEST FRIED CHICKEN 3 YEARS IN A ROW!

continued from page 47 progress on big-ticket items like marriage equality. What do you think are the highest stakes issues in the current moment? I think it’s very fundamental and elemental. It’s more cultural and ideological than it is legislative. I think that we have to get to a place, as a culture, where we’re willing to give up some of our notions about what makes America great. You know, whether that’s having guns that are absurd, or being on the planet in a way that just breaks the spirit of our environment. And the fact that that some of the politicians and the patriarchy still feel that if they can control women and women’s bodies and their decisions as to what to do in terms of birth control and abortion... they think that if they can control it then things will stay the same and they’ll maintain their power. I don’t know what it’s going to take to break them – and to also have them see that it’s a win-win for everybody, when you’re willing to let go of some of this shit, and are willing to go: okay, I’m gonna make this little bit of sacrifice. I’m not gonna be the king of every minute of my day. I’m gonna let other people live and thrive. I think it’s just really about trying to communicate with the patriarchy and the women who support the patriarchy, which always shocks me! – and find a way

that says, we’ve all just gotta take a collective breath and stop this bullshit. So I think that’s the biggest battle right now, and I think we’re in it, I think we’re deep in it. And I can’t say that I know one brush stroke that’s gonna fix it, but certainly all of us and all who are willing to do the work, know what needs to happen and have the conversations, if people are willing to have them. But unfortunately, a lot of people just aren’t willing to talk. It’s hardcore. It’s exhausting. What should people expect at your St Pete Pride show at the Palladium? It’ll be a powerhouse night! It’ll just be me standing on stage. You know, when I’m singing, it’ll be pared down to me and Mitch [musical director] blasting out a real assortment of eclectic songs - I’ll be covering all kinds of material. Yes, I’ll be hitting people with the obvious a little bit, then then there’s also poetry and emotion from the past two years that have come together into the show. It’s reflective, it’s introspective, it’s funny, it’s quirky. It’s not about fame or celebrity. I mean, it’s really personal. And it’s also about how we all got through the past two years, through my lens. I just love it – I love the material; I love talking about you know, just crazy quirky things that I’ve observed in the midst of all this.

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Say it loud

‘Queer Eye’ star Carson Kressley heads to St. Pete Pride. By Casey Mears

Let’s take it from the top. Where did you grow up and what was your childhood like? I had a pretty idyllic childhood outside of Allentown, Pennsylvanie. When people hear that town, they think of Billy Joel and steel workers, but I grew up in the countryside where there was a farming community. I often say that I’m Amishadjacent. It was a beautiful place to grow up.

for people to be their authentic selves is what I’m most proud of. You now work on another groundbreaking show, “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” What has it been like watching drag culture and the language of the ballroom scene go mainstream because of the show? Even I was learning things at first. I was like, “What is tea and shade?” It’s been fantastic because ball culture and the drag world were cloistered away in night clubs where not a lot of people got to experience them. Now, with shows like “Drag Race,” a light is shined on the artistry and the richness of that culture. The show also has a lot of heart and humor, not to mention the glamorous sage of our time, RuPaul, and all of that resonates. It’s been a great educational experience for people. These days, I’ll be in the airport and the person selling me a candy bar is like, “I don’t have any change—no shade!”

Do you think you had an awareness that you were gay as a child? Yes, of course! I distinctly remember being in I love a show where, if you sneeze, you might the first grade when everyone was into “The miss a great reference or a great line. The judgSix Million Dollar Man” because he could blow ing panel is like that every episode. things up. Meanwhile, I’m just thinking, “Wow, We all love gay culture. Whether it’s Michelle, he’s really attractive.” I definitely knew, but like Ross, Ru, or myself, we’ve grown up with it; it’s so many gay kids, no one had the fabric of our lives. We like explained the terminology to to throw in as many referme. By the time I was a teenences as possible. Sometimes ager, I was aware of what the kids don’t get it. I’ll say, Queer-e-okee: Carson Kressley being gay was and I knew “That’s very Wayland and Saturday, June 11. 7 p.m. $45 & up. that I was super gay. Madame. Guys, put up a Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg. 253 5th Ave. N, St. Petersburg. =stpetepride.org graphic of Wayland and You eventually moved to Madame because no one is New York City and were cast on “Queer Eye for going to know what that is!” And they do it, and the Straight Guy.” The show was a colossal suc- I’m like, “There, we’ve just enriched the children.” cess, but it was also airing before the passage of marriage equality, when calling someone You’re hosting St. Pete Pride’s big singalong, “metrosexual” was cheeky. What was that time Queer-E-Okee. What are some of your favorand that experience like for you? ite gay anthems? What are we going to hear The show was extremely liberating for me. I was you belt? working at Ralph Lauren when we shot the pilot, I love “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross, the dance and I remember being timid when my colleagues mix, of course. Anything by Madonna. Maybe a asked me the name of the show I was doing. little “Philadelphia Freedom” by Elton John. I feel Once it came out, it allowed me to embrace my like I can sing in his range. I can’t really sing, queerness because the thing that I thought was but I think I could manage that one. a flaw, my sexuality, had gotten me a great job and was being celebrated in the mainstream. I Or lip sync it, at least. still remember when my mom called to tell me Oh, I can lip sync, don’t worry about that. I’m that her friends at the beauty parlor loved the really looking forward to the celebratory nature of show. It was major to finally embrace my entire the event. There are so many awful things going person at work, with friends, and with family. on in the world, and I think that getting together Still the most gratifying thing 20 years later with our community—gay, straight, allies, everyis when I meet young people who say, “Queer body—to celebrate who we are and where we’re Eye allowed me to have a conversation with going will be a great release that we all need. my family about being gay, and it made my path so much easier.” Getting rid of mullets and How about some practical advice for Pride Month: pleated khakis was great, but making it easier What are your dos and don’ts for a Pride outfit?

INTERVIEW

50 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

PRESS HANDOUT

arson Kressley is an Emmy Award-winning TV star, fashion expert, philanthropist, designer, and best-selling author amongst myriad other credits. This weekend hosts QueerE-Okee at Palladium Theater, a new Pride event where local LGBTQ+ musicians will lead the audience in classic Pride songs with Kressley’s signature wit at the helm. He sat down with us to talk Pride, style, and advocacy.

YOU CAN HELP, TOO: Carson Kressley’s philanthropic causes include helping homeless LGBTQ+ youth. I’m going to really contradict myself and say that this is the one time when you can do absolutely anything that makes you feel loud and proud. I think it’s one of the only days when there are no fashion rules. What are you wishing you saw more of in fashion right now? I totally understood the reprioritization of comfort over style during the pandemic, but I do hope that we can start to experience the joy of going out again and dressing up not only for ourselves, but for other people. My imaginary boyfriend, Tom Ford, always says that dressing well is a form of good manners because it’s something that you do to show other people that you care about them. Also, a silver lining of the pandemic was that hardship forced creativity, and many people started new fashion businesses from their homes. So, you might have a new local designer or a new vintage boutique on Instagram that you can support and explore. I hope that people dive in and see what fashion resources are out there now. You champion a number of philanthropic causes, but you’ve said that you’re especially passionate about supporting LGBTQ+ youth-focused charities. Can you tell us about the work you’re involved with?

I love supporting LGBTQ+ youth projects because our youth are our future, and they’re also our most vulnerable population. I’ve been working with Cyndi Lauper at True Colors United for about 20 years to end youth homelessness. LGBTQ+ youth are 40% more likely to experience homelessness than their straight peers, which is a totally curable statistic. We’re working to end it, but we also make sure that when LGBTQ+ youth do experience homelessness, they have community and government resources available to them without discrimination. I’ve also loved supporting The Trevor Project over the years. More than ever, there’s so much pressure in certain places to reject who you are, and it’s critical for youth to have a 24-hour suicide hotline that they can call for support. Peo- ple sometimes need a voice telling them that they are loved and have a community even if they feel unsupported in that moment. If we don’t support our youth, where are we going to be? We have to look out for our kids. Thank you for the work that you do and for talking with us today. People of all ages will be excited to have you here in St. Pete. I’m very excited to come see everyone in St. Pete! I know that St. Pete has a vibrant and growing LGBTQ+ community, and I’m looking forward to checking it out and seeing what’s new!

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INTERVIEW Ann Wilson

Next Thursday, June 16. 8 p.m. $55 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. 5223 N Orient Rd., Tampa. seminolehardrocktampa.com

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Fierce bliss

Heart’s Ann Wilson brings her songwriting epiphany to Tampa. By Josh Bradley “I got in touch with Roger, I told him the name of the record, and he really liked it,” she explained. And she really loved the name he gave the piece he dreamed up: “Parrot On Ice.” But then again, it’s hard to not admire something that Dean has created. “We’re going to put this album out on vinyl, and I thought about how great it would be if people could have the experience of listening to the vinyl, and holding this piece of art in their hands at the same time,” Wilson added. Recently, Ann stated that her and Nancy are currently kept apart thanks to differences in how they want the legacy of Heart executed.

When asked what advice she has for young, up-and-coming artists, Ann urged them to ditch the autotune, and not to worry about what other people want them to sound like. “Don’t be afraid to sound human, because that way, you’re going to have an identity and you’re going to stand out. If you sound exactly like everybody else, and you sound autotuned and robotic, then you’re just going to be anonymous.” So, this ain’t the end, you’ll see Wilsom again, when she arrives at the Tampa Hard Rock Event Center next week, where there’s guaranteed to be zero sign of autotune in the venue. She will, however, crack out her iconic, high-pitched wails, a few covers, and if she’s feeling extra bold, a flute solo, if she feels like dusting off Heart’s “Love Alive.”

“Don’t be afraid to sound human, because that way, you’re going to have an identity and you’re going to stand out.”

CAESAR CARBAJAL

n the last five years, Ann Wilson has toured with Jeff Beck, made amends with sister Nancy— albeit temporarily—and released her first album containing original material, entitled Fierce Bliss. Rock and roll is also no longer the boys-only club it was when Heart let itself in. When Dreamboat Annie debuted in 1975, the Seattle sisters could have taken over the world if they wanted to. “There’s still a long way to go, because I think that the real thing is for men and women to work together,” Wilson told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay over the phone from her house on the St. Johns River. “I think women have changed the business a lot, because it’s not only musicians, but it’s managers, attorneys, publicists and just all levels of the entertainment industry.” Many of us had some sort of epiphany or awakening during the worst of COVID-19, whether it was regarding identity, occupation, or something else entirely. Wilson’s was linked to songwriting. “Just looking out the window over this big, beautiful river we live on gave me lots of time to think, daydream, and be peaceful. That’s the state I have to be in to write,” she recalled. Thus Fierce Bliss was born, and the writing on it is solid, too. Wilson tackles the toxicity of fame and fortune—specifically the Hollywood sort—on “A Moment in Heaven,” and on “Black Wing,” she anthropomorphizes some birds she saw on the St. John’s during lockdown. Though her songwriting chops are sharp, there’s nothing like an Ann Wilson-ified rock cover, of which she has done many, from Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven” to Pink Floyd’s “Goodbye Blue Sky.” While not entirely made up of covers— unlike her previous record Immortal, which saluted musicians that died in the 2010s—Fierce Bliss still features a number of them, such as Eurythmics’ “Missionary Man,” Jeff Buckley’s “Forget Her,” and most notably, a duet with Vince Gill on Queen’s “Love Of My Life.” “He’s a triple threat,” Wilson commented. “I wanted to do it with a man. Because my voice is a little raspy and stuff, I wanted a man’s voice to sound really beautiful and angelic, and so there was only one choice, and it was Vince.” Another key element of Fierce Bliss is that Roger Dean—famous for his work with one of Wilson's favorite bands, Yes—designed the cover.

Nancy wants to take the nostalgic brand route, while Ann wants to continue breaking barriers and trying new things. She does, however, try and keep up with the times while maintaining Heart’s original sound. Ann appreciates how Billie Eilish and Lucy Hale are “trying to be original,” but personally, she’s always rocking out—and vocally warming up—to the likes of Lucinda Williams, U2, and Emmylou Harris. “Usually, I’m sitting in my dressing room getting ready. I have a little blaster in there, and I sing along with someone else’s CD. And it’s way more fun and interesting than just singing scales, which is really boring,” she declared.

MAGIC WOMAN: Ann Wilson wants to continue breaking barriers and trying new things.

cltampa.com | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | 53

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THU 09

Unitcode:Machine w/Finite Automata/00tz 00tz Eric Kristoffer’s tastes are eclectic, and lots of those flavors come together under the Unitcode:Machine moniker where the Texas artist marries his love of EBM and synthpop together for a sound that’ll also please fans of Diversant:13 and Stars Crusaders. If you’ve not a clue about anything above, just go to The Castle; if what unfolds tickles your, you know, then maybe consider coming to this show. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

FRI 10

C Live On Central: Gregory Porter w/ Alex Harris Porter’s last gig was literally for the Queen of England at the Jubilee, so it’s pretty cool to see the seven-time Grammy winner and American soul legend headed to the beautifully restored Floridian Social Club (FKA State Theatre) to help kick off a new music series curated by local songwriter, singer and philanthropist Alex Harris. It’s not a stretch to lump porter in with some of America’s greatest singers (Bill Withers, Nat “King” Cole), and it’ll be cool to seem him color the room with all his soul. (Floridian Social Club, St. Petersburg) L.A.X When it comes to backing big name artists, Dave LaRue and Glenn Alexander are veterans. When he’s not with Flying Colors or The Steve Morse Band, LaRue has played on tour with Joe Satriani, and alongside members of Dream Theater. As for Alexander, he’s collaborated with Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, Elvis Costello, and most recently, Jon Irabagon. Described as “the culmination of

25+ years of playing and writing together,” the boys arrive in Largo, which is not much of an unfamiliar drive for LaRue, a former adjunct professor at Stetson University. (Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo) Peace Cult w/Gentlemen’s Crow/Sorry Barb/Cinema Stereo Tampa trio Peace Cult hasn’t released its debut album quite yet, but is in the midst of a productive year. In April, the pop-punk band dropped out of an album release for Mike Mass when the Tampa rapper became the center of sexual assault allegations. Now the group is about to embark on its first-ever weekender tour, which kicks off in downtown Tampa’s West River district, then heads to Tampa Heights for a Saturday band anniversary show before two more gigs in St. Augustine and Winter Park. Expect to hear the band’s cover of “Take Me Away” from “Freaky Friday,” too. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa) C Pet Rock ‘King Sad’ album release w/Discord Theory/Pandapaws/Kick Veronica King Sad arrived, kicking and screaming, last week, and this weekend Tampa band Pet Rock properly celebrates its eight-track, 27-minute wallop of power-pop by welcoming local fans to come around to New World for a gig alongside indie-leaning cohorts who play a similarly rollicking sound. (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa) C Tears For Fears w/Garbage During the 1980s, the iconic new wave duo Tears for Fears was renowned for U.S. and international Top 40 hits like “Mad World,” “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” “Shout,” “Head over Heels” and “Mother’s Talk.” Now in their 40th year of recording and touring, multi-instrumentalist Roland Orzabal and bassist Curt Smith are back on the road backing the band’s first album in 17 years, The Tipping Point. American’90s alt-rock icon Garbage, (“Stupid Girl,” “Only Happy When It Rains”)—which released its

latest album No Gods No Masters a year a go next week—open the show. (MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa) The Widdler w/Pushloop In 2020, DJs The Widdler and Pushloop were supposed to bring their co-headlining “Back To Basics, Vol. 2” tour to somewhere in The ‘Burg. Shit (read: COVID) happened, and The Widdler ended up getting a few solo spots in the Tampa Bay area, including a Pound Fridays spot at The Ritz Ybor last June, and an after-hours gig in downtown St. Pete. Not that he needs warming up time, but it appears that Pushloop, who’s not a frequent visitor here, is finally ready to get back to town for this rescheduled “Back To Basics” show. (The Ritz, Ybor City)

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C A Girls Rock Camp Benefit Show: Vacuous Depths w/Wreath/Walled City/ Star of Khorala/Nashira Next month, girls and non-binary youth will spend a week at St. Petersburg’s Allendale United Methodist Church for Girls Rock Camp (GRC St. Pete). The camp culminates in a showcase at Jannus Live, but before that some of Tampa Bay’s loudest bands (death metal, hardcore, screamo and shoegaze are all represented on the bill) hit the old VFW on Central Avenue to destroy your hearing and also raise money so GRC St. Pete can make camp as fun, productive and meaningful as possible. (VFW Post 39, St. Petersburg) Dead Mirrors w/Spanish Needles/Knife Rituals This year on Record Store Day, when people walked into the retail location of St. Pete’s Bananas Music–located on 22nd Avenue–the most glorious thing to be seen upon entry was not the shelves of vinyl: It was the fact that the stage that has contained audio equipment, holiday albums, and CDs in recent

continued on page 56

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continued from page 55

Destroy Boys w/Scowl It’s been almost two weeks since Orpheum closed the door on two decades of concerts in Ybor City, and this weekend, it starts writing a chapter in North Tampa with this more-or-less soft opening gig featuring Green Day-approved San Francisco punk trio Destroy Boys. Don’t expect the venue to be in its full glory yet, but do take the opportunity to see the new, indoor-outdoor digs which could end up combining Orpheum’s signature “in lust we trust” vibe with the feeling of another back-porch-boasting venue, Austin, Texas’ Stubb’s BBQ. (Orpheum, Tampa) Kid Rock w/Grand Funk Railroad Dust off your beaver hats and “Let’s Go Brandon” flags, because everybody’s favorite Detroit yokel—OK, second favorite (looking at you, Nugent) is bringing his “Bad Reputation” tour to Tampa. For this run of shows, the 51-year-old former senate candidate is bringing a series of classic rock bands with him for pre-set support. Grand Funk Railroad is on the bill this time around, so expect all of Pasco County to be dead empty this weekend. (MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa) C Obituary w/Intoxicated/Three Knuckles Deep/Corrupted Saint/Cold Steel We’re still broken about the 2018 death of Ralph Santolla, who played with Tampa metal giant Obituary for five years. But the group, which already rocked Tampa’s Orpheum one last time this year, is always open to a homecoming gig. It’s been said that Obituary has been working on a new album since COVID-19 hit, with a release scheduled sometime this year. In the meantime, you might get to hear new songs for the first time at the Mug (a short walk from the new Orpheum, by the way), alongside Intoxicated, Three Knuckles Deep, Corrupted Saint, and Cold Steel. (Brass Mug, Tampa)

SUN 12

Brandon “Taz” Niederauer w/Thomas Pridgen/Brad Miller Former Mars Volta drummer Thomas Pridgen has plans to sit behind the kit this weekend as part of a more-or-less jam scene supergroup featuring guitarist Brandon “Taz” Niederauer (who recently paid tribute to the Allman Brothers) and bassist Brad Miller (Blaque Dynamite) who’re closing out a short Florida run with this free brewery show. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin) C Pohgoh w/Kerry Courtney After two decades of self-releasing music, revered Tampa indie-rock and emo totem Pohgoh signed with Spartan Records, which will release the band’s new album, du und ich this fall around the time guitarist Matt Slate celebrates a birthday. Produced by J. Robbins and recorded at his Magpie Cage Recording Studio in Baltimore, du und ich marks the third fulllength for the band, which came up in a golden age of emo alongside bands like Rainer Maria and Jejune. Masks will be required in the shop

56 | JUNE 9 - 15, 2022 | cltampa.com

and during the show, where Kerry Courtney plays opener. (Microgroove, Tampa)

H.E.R.

TUE 14

C Coldplay w/H.E.R. When the tour for its new album, Music Of The Spheres, was announced, Coldplay promised more dates, but next week’s set is the only Florida stop on the run. H.E.R.—who performed “America the Beautiful” at RayJay for SBLV—returns to the venue before Coldplay frontman Chris Martin (one of the most energetic figures in modern pop music) takes over. The tour has committed to a greening plan which commits to not only power the show entirely by renewable, super-low emission energy but also draw down CO2 emissions from the production, sell sustainable and ethically-sourced merch, plus provide free water to eliminate plastic waste. (Raymond James Stadium, Tampa) Powfu w/Rxseboy/Snøw Two years after sampling Beebadoobe for his viral hit “death bed (coffee for your head),” Isaiah Faber is bringing it to Tampa. The 23-year-old better known as Canadian emo-rap star Powfu has been riding high over the last six months thanks to his 2021 marriage, moving out of his parents house, and a new single “Sleeping On the Floor” which adds to his collection of lo-fi melodic pop tunes which have amassed billions of streams. Emerging outside-the-box rappers Rxseboy (“Leaving”) and Snøw (“Blaming Me For Us”) open the show. (Crowbar, Ybor City) Shakey Graves w/Bendigo Fletcher It’s been four years since Shakey Graves released new music, but 2022 is full of tour dates all over for the Americana star born Alejandro Rose-Garcia, who just celebrated his 35th birthday. The charismatic Texan plays an outdoor headlining gig that’ll be rife with his scrappy, but gentle and always heartfelt lo-fi folk that’s evolved to include flourishes of garage-rock and Springsteenish anthems. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

THU 16

Ann Wilson Rock and roll is no longer a boysonly club, and when Heart let itself in back in 1975 with the release of Dreamboat Annie Seattle sisters Ann and Nancy Wilson could have taken over the world if they wanted to. “There’s still a long way to go, because I think that the real thing is for men and women to work together,” Ann told Creative Loafing Tampa over the phone from her house on the St. John’s River. “I think women have changed the business a lot, because it’s not only musicians, but it’s managers, attorneys, publicists and just all levels of the entertainment industry.” Read our full interview with Ann Wilson on p. 53. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa) C Scxtt Aye ‘Doves’ album release w/ Jnkyrd On Friday, Scxtt Aye will record a conversation with the [beatsnchill] podcast to detail his new album, Doves, but next week the Tampa rapper—whose painfully transparent lyrics play like pages of a journal over stripped back, dark beats—performs the record live and backed by a full band onstage at the best listening room in Ybor City. (The Attic at Rock Brothers Brewing Co., Ybor City)

TIM SACCENTI

years, had musicians standing on it again. It appears Bananas, like cross-bay colleague Microgroove, is easing back into being both a record shop and a mini concert venue because this weekend, late-’90s metalcore band Dead Mirrors takes the stage along with Spanish Needles and Knife Rituals, both from Tampa Bay. (Bananas Music, St. Petersburg)

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In “The New Style,” the Beastie Boys’ late, great MCA rapped “we got the kind of voices that are in your face / Like the bun to the burger, like the burger to the bun.” But this summer a different kind of hot sauce committee will pay tribute to both MCA’s iconic New York City hip-hop trio and a different kind of bread when the “Beastie Buns” play Ybor City. Tickets to see the Beastie Buns headline Hot Dog Party 16: License To Grill at Crowbar in Ybor City on Sunday, July 3 are on sale now and start at $12. The Buns feature a quartet of players— drummer Adam Revak, guitarist/singer Mike Ingold, bassist Sean Pomeroy (pictured) and multi-instrumentalist Matt E “Minihorse” Powfu w/Snøw/Ouse Tuesday, June 14. 7 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City George Pennington Friday, June 17. 7 p.m. $15. Crowbar, Ybor City Sauce Boss Saturday, June 18. 8 p.m. No cover. Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin Matt Maeson Monday, July 11. 8 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City Alastair Greene Friday, Jul. 15. 8 p.m. $20-$40. Side Door Cabaret at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg. Sage w/Treis & Friends/TBA Friday, Jul. 15. 8 p.m. $10. Hooch and Hive, Tampa

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Samoht (opening for Banks w/Lauren Jauregui) Saturday, July 16. 7 p.m. $33. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg The Aristocrats w/Moonthing/Bad Future Saturday, July 23. 7 p.m. $28. Brass Mug, Tampa Boho Sideshow w/Dean Johaneson Saturday, July 30. 8 p.m. $15-$40. Side Door Cabaret at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg.

Lee—fronted by local Americana favorites (Lauris Vidal, Dean Johanesen, Scott Anderson) plus scene champs (Mike McKiernan), chef-musicians (Anson Mitchell) and horn players (Kenny Pulin). Other acts on the bill include rock and roll trio Johnny Mile & the Kilometers, grunge duo Hovercar and DJ Wally Rios who’ll spin when doors open at 6 p.m. and again that night when Ol’ Dirty Sundays takes over the patio. As usual, the evening’s main attraction is a hot-dog eating contest, which yours truly won 11 years ago. “Your finest summer/’mericastyle attire” is suggested as the dress code. See Josh Bradley’s weekly new and canceled concert roundup below.—Ray Roa Why Don’t We w/The Aces/JVKE Thursday, Aug. 4. 7 p.m. $41.20 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa Tyler Lyle Saturday, Aug. 6. 7 p.m. $15. Crowbar, Ybor City Joywave w/iDKHOW Wednesday, Sept. 21, 6 p.m. $TBD. The Ritz, Ybor City Andy McKee Thursday, Sept. 22. 8 p.m. $35-$50. The Attic at Rock Brothers Brewing, Tampa Panic! At The Disco w/Marina/Wesley Jake Rogers Wednesday, Oct. 5. 7 p.m. $29.50 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa Yung Bae w/Roosevelt (DJ Set)/ Vantage Sunday, Oct. 9. 8 p.m. $25-$100. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Katharine McPhee and David Foster Saturday, Feb. 3. 8 p.m. $48.75-$128.75. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Cancellations/reschedules Strand of Oaks w/The Still Tide at Crowbar, June 11 Canceled

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Judgment day By Dan Savage

I’m trying to date again after back-to-back negative relationship experiences. Experiences that have made me question my own judgment and ability to set good boundaries. My friends and therapist all pointed out the red flags, but I was apparently blind to them. I love what you’ve said about how there is no “The One’’ out there for us, only .72s and .83s, and that we have to “round someone up to The One.” But it seems like I’ve been “rounding up” some numbers that were too low. As things stand now, I’ve never felt so distrustful of people, and I’ve never doubted my own choices so strongly. Basically, my walls have gone up. But I love being in a relationship and I want to be in one again. What things should I be mindful of as I venture back into that world? What’s a good way to be deliberate without moving at a glacial pace? What should I be asking myself as I begin to form new attachments, especially after showing such bad judgment in the recent past?— Understandably Nervous Since Upsetting Relationships Expired

Anyway, UNSURE, the lesson to learn from these two shitty relationships isn’t, “No more relationships for me! I can’t trust my own judgment!”, but instead, “The next time everyone in my life tells me that the person I’m with is shitty or that we’re shitty for each other, I’ll end it.” To be clear: I’m not telling you to substitute the judgment of your friends and therapist for your own, UNSURE, but to supplement your judgment with theirs— unless you wanna empower your friends and your therapist to make an arranged marriage for you, in which case you can substitute their judgment for your own.

SAVAGE LOVE

First, let’s put things in perspective: you had two shitty relationships in a row. While that was no doubt unpleasant, UNSURE, and while it’s understandable you might hesitate to put yourself back out there, two shitties in row isn’t evidence your judgment is flawed. Very few of us can say we haven’t had two shitty relationships in a row, if not more. A shitty person is often the common denominator in a string of shitty relationships, but sometimes shitty relationships happen to good people—and sometimes they happen with good people, i.e., a shitty relationship can happen without a shitty person being involved. Still, there’s shitty, and then there’s spectacularly shitty. There are also shitty patterns. If you keep picking the same basic kind of shitty person and/or making the same basic kinds of shitty mistakes—such as ignoring red flags, committing too soon, or “working on it” too long—then you need to make changes. And the single most important change you can make—the thing you can do differently as you head back into the dating world—seems obvious to me, my readers, your friends, and your therapist: listen to your friends and your therapist! They saw the red flags, UNSURE, and pointed them out. The problem wasn’t that you couldn’t see those red flags—you’re not blind— but that you looked away and/or attempted to explain them away. (I’m not blind to the fact that using “blind” to mean “can’t understand or comprehend” is ableist, and I promise not to use it like this again.)

I don’t have a super high sex drive, so I generally have sex once or twice a week and mostly for my husband. He prefers sex at night, but I am generally exhausted and disinterested by that point. However, in the mornings I am often horny. Problem is my husband has a medical condition that makes morning sex uncomfortable for him. I occasionally masturbate in the mornings, but I’d rather be screwing him. Do you have any suggestions for how I can teach myself to be horny at the end of the day?—Sexual Time Zones

at one end of that warehouse and your friend was fucking some other guy at the other end of that same warehouse. That wouldn’t count, MATH, since even if you were naked in the same room, you weren’t having sex with each other. But if you were fucking some dude’s ass while your friend fucked that same dude’s throat—in a warehouse or a bedroom or an RV at Burning Man—then it would count. Threesomes are sex, MATH, and if you and your friend have had threesomes together, then you and your friend have had sex with each other. (While I don’t like to police the language people use when they talk about sex—I support abolishing the language police—I’ve never liked the expression “Body Count.” While using “My Number” to mean your total number of sex partners is boringly literal, reading about literal body counts in the news every day makes me want to keep “Body Counts” out of my sex column.) I’m a gay man in his late-20s living with my boyfriend. We are monogamous but I have a hard time being faithful. I’m in love with my boyfriend, he is caring and sweet, and the sex is good. But sometimes I feel this hunger inside of me. I desire other men. I look around at work or at the gym or when I’m out shopping, and all these other men turn me on. I cheated on my boyfriend once when we were on holi-

Disco nap—get some sleep early in the evening, STZ, fuck your husband when he comes to bed, watch some television until you’re ready for bed, then enjoy a bonus wank in the A.M. after he gets up and leaves. Over the years I have participated in a few threesomes with a friend. We’re not really attracted to each other, so we have mostly focused on our guest stars. We have kissed and groped each other during these sex sessions, though, but otherwise we’ve been pretty hands-off with each other. Here’s the dispute: I say we’ve had sex and I am justified in adding him to my Body Count, he says just being naked in the same room doesn’t count. What do you think?—Mansplain Arithmetic To Homos Won’t mansplain, will Dansplain: Let’s say you were naked at a warehouse sex party and your friend was naked at that same warehouse sex party, MATH, and you were fucking one guy

If your boyfriend can forgive you and you can learn to lust after other men without touching them, INLOVE, you can make this monogamy thing work. But don’t kid yourself: however much you love your boyfriend, you’re always gonna wanna fuck other men. And unless your boyfriend is a toaster with a dildo duct taped to it, he’s always gonna wanna fuck other men too. So, maybe instead of having to pretend you don’t find other men attractive—instead of having to lie to each other—you can give each other a little space, i.e., a little erotic autonomy. Be monogamous, yes, but go ahead and flirt with other guys, check hot guys out together, watch and share porn that turns you both on, and then plow all that sexual energy back into your relationship and into each other. But if you wind up cheating again… There are two ways to look at the cheating you’ve already done and the cheating you might do in the future: you’re a terrible person who can’t honor a monogamous commitment, INLOVE, or you’re a good person who shouldn’t be making monogamous commitments. It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t failing at monogamy, INLOVE, but rather monogamy was failing me. When I stopped making monogamous commitments I couldn’t keep, my committed relationship(s) began to thrive. If being in a closed relationship leaves you feeling frustrated and generates conflict—internal and relational—and your boyfriend doesn’t want to be in an open relationship, then you two might not be right for each other. Two people who aren’t on the same page where monogamy is concerned and can’t negotiate their way onto the same page, INLOVE, won’t and shouldn’t be together for long. You can still love each other, but as exes and friends, not boyfriends. Can you recommend a good lube, Dan? You see, this Joe Biden guy has been fucking us all in the ass for the last 16 months and it’s starting to hurt. Thank you in advance.—Fuck Joe Biden

day together. I did it in a clumsy, selfish, and inconsiderate way, and my boyfriend saw me. I felt bad about it and apologized. I want our relationship to work because I love him, and we are such a good team. Please give me some advice on how to control myself, because right now I feel it is almost inevitable that I am going to cheat again and wind up losing the man I love over nothing.—Is Needing Love Over Variety Endurable?

Just for you, FJB, I’m gonna share my homebrew MAGA lube recipe: two parts ground glass, two parts BenGay, two parts pumicite, two parts IcyHot, and all the “go fuck yourself” you have in the house. Enjoy. Send mail to questions@savagelove.net, listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast and follow Dan @ FakeDanSavage Twitter. Get columns, podcasts, books, merch and more at savage.love.

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creative loafing puzzler 62 Italian river 119 63 Member of a coop co-op 120 64 Call a turkey, e.g. ACROSS 66 Boat store’s wish 121 SHOWS FATIGUE for the New Year? 122 Wedding seat, 70 Pest’s evocation often 71 Boring routine 123 “A Rock” opening 72 Art movement Labor, for ex. 73 Director Lee Writes illegibly 74 Literary 1 Corp. VIP monogram “Say, mister?” 76 Guadalajara gold 2 “Clear the ___” 77 Salon guru Jose 3 Oolong outlet 78 Having overhangs Bulging with bucks 79 Heat unit Vinyl resting place 81 Medium’s deck 4 Leg part 83 Read aloud 5 Writer Madame 85 Ivy, for example de ___ 87 Actress Donahue 6 Comic Mort of Father Knows Nectar fruit Best 7 Samuel’s teacher 89 J.D. Salinger, Jane Alexander for one once headed it: 90 Bygone Swedish 8 abbr. auto Turkish title 91 Bit of sun 9 Clausian syllables 92 Acquitted Hall or Hannah 94 “Don’t come in Acclimate anew here!” 10 Hall happening 96 Fake one’s 11 Ryan’s Love Story feelings, maybe 12 co-star 98 Baseball’s Cobb 13 Square et al. 14 In summer, on the 99 Gilbert and 16 Somme Sullivan princess Sweet Rosie of 100 Aides to profs song 101 Cold time in Colo. Strips bare 102 Last call? 17 Keaton or 103 Belgian river 18 Chaplin? 104 Big stink 20 Swiss 106 Starsky’s partner mathematician 108 Steve and Egg-shaped Butterfly 26 Sour-smelling 112 Lone Star star’s Pounding water first name 29 Number of 113 Drive-in theaters, 31 Neapolitan flavors, in Variety 33 in Naples 116 Fidel’s bro Drop the ball 117 .001 of an inch 36 118 Bilko et al. Fragment

GREAT EXPECTATIONS by Merl Reagle

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DOWN Jet type phased out in 2003 Jet jockey Cheese shop’s hope for the New Year? Walk casually Where Artaxerxes I and II ruled Light at the end of the tunnel Haberdasher’s hopeful comment for the New Year? “Love ___ twoway street” Pulmonary alveolus, put simply Noted squinter Writer Roald Significant time Architect I.M. Cigarette danger Helicopter service’s prediction for the New Year? Sleep symbol Geometric shapes Chicken farmer’s goal for the New Year? Gambler’s desire for the New Year? Decaf ___ It means “old” Spy novelist Deighton Astrology forecast for the New Year? 20

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Solution to Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z P L I A N T

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