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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf STAFF WRITER Justin Garcia FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl JUSTIN GARCIA

CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Kyla Fields, Dr. Amanda Hagood, Dan Savage, Eric Snider

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SeaWorld in February, animal rights CREATIVE DIRECTOR claiming the practice of keeping Jack wild Spatafora ILLUSTRATORS Joe Newton, d dangerous. But even though publicDan Perkins, atmany SeaWorld animal rights Cory Bob Whitmore don’t in seeFebruary, a Robinson, parallel between the kind claiming the practice of keeping wild k, and the SENIOR practice ofACCOUNT displaying animals EXECUTIVES nd dangerous. But even though public Anthony Carbone, Scottfor Zepeda asking for too much? Or is it time a d, many don’t see a parallel between the kind t” animals? MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND

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ck and the practice of displaying animals EVENTS DIRECTOR s asking for too much? Or is it time for a Alexis Quinn Chamberlain ent” animals?

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And it’s wrong, it hurts my heart to know how you treat seniors.

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Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 633 N Franklin St., Suite 735. Tampa, Florida, 33602. The physical edition is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampa.com. Copyright 2021, Tampa Weekly, LLC.

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We will not be making a comment at this time. Despite calling for change, Rays won’t talk about donations to GOP, p.14.

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Afterwards, the protesters hit the streets of downtown St. Petersburg. There, the protesters met both support and opposition. The opposition came mainly in the form of the St. Petersburg Police Department, and white middle aged men who were upset by the protesters marching on the Central Avenue. Read more on p. 17.— Justin Garcia

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“It’s a shame and you guys ought to be ashamed for not trying to help us to live where we think it’s nice to live.” POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Beg and plead

Tampa City Council asks for tenant advocacy office, more renter protections, after emotional outcry from residents. By Justin Garcia

ast Thursday, Tampa City Council asked staff to look into creating a tenant advocacy office and a landlord registry, after more than 20 residents made emotional pleas for the city to address the uncontrolled rental crisis. The community outcry had an effect on council members who unanimously passed a motion to have city staff return on June 16 to report on establishing a “Tenant Advocacy Office.” The advocacy office would serve tenants who have legal concerns about their lease and their landlords. An amendment was also added to explore the possibility of a city registry that would keep track of landlord and tenant interactions, potentially making it easier for tenants to file complaints against landlords. Before council’s decision, emotion took over the room as renters shared their struggles from the dais. Arlene Washington, a disabled elderly Black woman, detailed to council the unaffordable cost of living in the city, including where she lives at Madison Highland Senior Apartments in downtown Tampa. “We have people there that are moving out this month because they can’t afford to pay the rent anymore,” Washington said, getting choked up at the podium. “And it’s wrong, it hurts my heart to know how you treat seniors.” Washington added that many seniors she knows now have to move to places that they don’t want to live—places that the owners run like slumlords. “It’s a shame and you guys ought to be ashamed for not trying to help us to live where we think it’s nice to live,” Washington said. “We don’t eat right, we don’t get our medicine right, we don’t sleep right. And it’s wrong.” Robin Lockett of the activist group Florida Rising supported Washington and other speakers’ statements. She asked everyone who spoke before her to stand and said, “United we stand, divided we fall.” In front of the doors of the city hall chambers, Washington wept. “I’ve always said that you have to make a decision as to whether you’re going to be for the developers and make profit, or be for the people,” Lockett said. “Because it’s the people who vote for you, not the corporations.” As council chair Joe Citro asked if there was more public comment, Tampa resident Tavaris

Mitchell—frustrated after hearing Washington and other Black senior’s struggles—sounded off. He said he was going to, “bring the whole streets to that apartment complex” Washington mentioned. Citro asked if he would like to speak at the podium, to which he declined. Citro then said “thank you very much sir” several times, speaking over Mitchell. “Fuck you,” Mitchell shouted, drawing gasps from the other attendees. Citro told him to have a good day and called for a three-minute recess after the emotional outburst. The first thing Citro did during the recess

HOUSING

take pictures of the council chair. Citro has not responded to a follow-up request for comment on what he and Michelini were discussing after the emotional pleas from renters. After the recess, cooler heads prevailed when Mitchell returned to council, apologized for the outburst at the podium, and explained that tenants need more help with navigating rental laws and leases. All of the council members were clearly disturbed by the input they received from the residents and members of the tenant activist group People’s Council Tampa. They called for action.

JUSTIN GARCIA

SEND HELP: More than 20 residents made emotional pleas about Tampa’s uncontrolled rental crisis. was walk out into the hallway and for a chat with developer consultant Stephen Michelini, who was part of a lawsuit that forced former councilman John Dingfelder out of office over violation of public records laws. After Citro noticed this reporter taking pictures of them talking, he turned away from Michelini, approached and asked, “Did you get that?! Did you get that?!” Citro then made peace signs at the camera after this reporter said “yes” and continued to

Nicole B. Travis, Tampa’s Administrator of Development and Economic Opportunity, gave a presentation on the housing crisis to council. “Thank you so much for this presentation, but there’s one really glaring thing I noticed about it,” Hurtak said. “It’s really [about] helping homeowners and I think that’s fabulous. I’m glad the city is focused on that, we need to help people fix up their homes. But right now we’re hearing that over half of the citizens of

Tampa are renters. So we need to focus on what we can do for them.” Hurtak asked Travis a series of questions, including how to get development projects in Tampa to include more affordable housing. “Right now your land development code does not require that, so you are the legislative body and are responsible for the land development code more than anything,” Travis said. “And so we’re proposing to bring to you in June some options on how we can do that.” Hurtak mentioned that allocating more Rental and Move-in Assistance Program (RMAP) funds from the city could help tenants whose rents have increased. She suggested $34 million more for the program. All of the other council members weighed in with their thoughts, agreeing with many of the residents’ concerns. Councilman Bill Carlson decried “biking while Black” and “renting while Black”— programs Mayor Jane Castor oversaw and defended. Black residents at past council meetings have repeatedly said those programs helped gentrify Tampa. Carlson also called out former Mayor Bob Buckhorn’s administration for tearing down affordable public housing. Councilman Viera said that the rent crisis is, “an attack on the working class and the middle class” and said, “people are just looking to make the pain more manageable, and we shouldn’t be there.” Orlando Gudes said that he still believes in rent stabilization as an option. “People can have control of their property,” Gudes said. “But I do believe in rent stabilization, because you got to step in at some point.” Councilman Guido Maniscalco motioned for staff to come back on exploring a tenant advocacy office, which would represent renters who can’t afford traditional legal representation and help with other tenant needs such as understanding leases. Hurtak added an amendment to Maniscalco’s motion, saying that Tampa should explore establishing a landlord registry that keeps track of tenant and landlord interactions. Council passed both measures unanimously. “It helps,” Hurtak said. “ And if you’re a good landlord, you have no problems.”

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spent $67,125.00 in the upcoming 2022 election, and so far all of it was to the Florida Republican Party. If you go back to 2014, when the Rays first started making political donations, the team has donated a total of $309,630 to entities across the political spectrum. Of that total, $182,725 went to conservative politicians or PACs. Notably, the Republican Party of Florida has received four separate donations from the Rays, totaling $89,145. Comparatively, the Rays have only made one donation to the Democratic Party of Florida, with a $5,480 check from last December. Other large GOP donations include a total of $30,000 to disgraced Republican lawmaker Jack Latvala’s Florida Leadership Committee PAC, $22,500 to House Speaker Chris Sprowls’ Floridians for Economic Freedom PAC, and $22,650 to Sen. Wilton Simpson’s Jobs For Florida PAC. In that same time period, Democratic candidates and PACs have received a total of $128,280 from the Rays. Former St. Pete mayor Rick Kriseman and current mayor Ken Welch make up the vast majority of this spending, with each mayor’s PAC receiving $50,000 donations. Other larger Democratic donations include $16,400 to the mostly center-left Tampa’s Tomorrow PAC

in September of last year, and $2,500 to former Attorney General candidate Sean Shaw in 2018. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay reached out to Everytown for comment and it has yet to respond. Last Friday, the Rays told CL, “we will not be making a comment at this time.” Guess we won’t know if anything is going to change as far as the team donating to a GOP which refuses to stand up to the NRA. According to the Gun Violence Archive, a nonprofit research group that tracks gun violence using police reports, 8,243 Florida residents have died from gun violence since 2014, and 121 of those were kids. The Gun Violence Archive defines a mass shooting as “four or more shot and/or killed in a single event [incident], at the same general time and location, not including the shooter.” Under this definition, Florida has witnessed 218 mass shootings since 2014. In the meantime, Florida Republicans are currently on the verge of making Florida a constitutional carry state with Gov. Ron DeSantis pledging to make it happen while he’s in office. “Constitutional carry” would allow Floridians who legally own a firearm to carry it in public, visibly or concealed, at almost any time or place, without training, registration or government licensing.

“We all know if nothing changes, nothing changes.”

FOUL BALL: Is it hypocritical to donate to both the GOP and gun reform advocates?

Show me a sign

Rays flaunt donation to Everytown, also donated more than $180K to GOP. By Colin Wolf

ollowing years of hefty donations to Florida Republicans, the Tampa Bay Rays decided to briefly forget about the gun-loving party they historically support, and instead recognize the nation’s recent mass shootings by posting facts about gun violence and a singular donation to a nonprofit that advocates for stricter gun control. Last week, the St. Petersburgbased MLB team announced via Twitter that the organization has donated $50,000 to Everytown, and also shared gun facts from the nonprofit across the team’s social media channels. “In lieu of game coverage and in collaboration with Yankees, we will use our channel to offer facts about the impact of gun violence,” the Tampa Bay Rays said in a tweet. “The

devastating events that took place in Uvalde, Buffalo and countless other communities across our nation are tragedies that are intolerable.” The organization also added that “This cannot be normal. We cannot become numb. We cannot look the other way. We all know if nothing changes, nothing changes.” Over the last decade, Florida has experienced multiple high-profile mass shootings (including Pulse and Parkland), and in that time period the Tampa Bay Rays have overwhelmingly donated more money to the Florida GOP and conservative political action committees than any other party or cause. As first pointed out by Florida investigative reporter Jason Garcia, according to Division of Election documents, the Rays have already

LOCAL NEWS

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JUSTIN GARCIA

SOMEONE BUDGE-T: St. Pete activists want some of the suggested $131.1 million for police to go to public housing.

Still marching

In St. Pete, activists push back on proposed police budget. By Justin Garcia

round 50 activists gathered at St. Petersburg City Hall on May 25 to honor George Floyd and to demand that city officials not approve St. Petersburg Police Department’s record high budget for 2023. The rally detailed activists’ demands, which include moving the suggested $131.1 million in police funds to public housing and an array of other public services. Afterwards, the protesters hit the streets of downtown St. Petersburg. There, the protesters met both support and opposition. The opposition came mainly in the form of the St. Petersburg Police Department, and white middle aged men who were upset by the protesters marching on Central Avenue. At one point, this CL reporter counted eight SPPD vehicles clogging up the intersection at Central Ave. and 7th Street S. For a couple of minutes, the vehicles were surrounding just one protester, a Black person whose sign read, “I will not be another name.”

Supporters of the marchers honked their horns and raised their fists, while full grown white men creeped out of bars and condo high rises to call names and flash the “L” sign for losers and to get in the face of Black people to argue how defunding police doesn’t work. The most common refrain from the antagonizers was “Get a job!” In different areas of downtown. They repeated it like clones. The bizarre thing about this is that it was around 8 p.m. when the protesters were marching (many had worked that day). A couple of the antagonizers were asked if they were working at the time, they said no. Despite the police pushing protesters off of the street with several vehicles, the activists played a game of cat and mouse, and whenever the police cruisers left, the streets were theirs again. In July 2020, some protesters worried that rhetoric in a local “crime-watch” Facebook group would lead to real life violence. That same month, SPPD had to remind people that it’s illegal to

LOCAL NEWS

run over protesters with a car. At this event, the protesters had their own security, called Elite Security team, that was protecting the crowd with vehicles in front of and behind the crowd. The march ended in front of city hall, where organizers called for sustained action beyond the protest. “We have to put a real demand in,” activist Will Breeze said. “And we got to protest too, but we can’t just protest and then five minutes later say it’s whatever, no, we have to stay on it.” During the rally leading up to the march, Breeze and others made their discontent with the city and the local police department heard. They called on the attendees to remember George Floyd and fight in his honor. “When millions and millions of Americans were out of work and falling deeper into poverty, Floyd was a victim of the capitalist system,” said Karla Correa of the St. Petersburg Tenants Union (SPTU) and the Party for Socialism and Liberation (PSL), the groups who organized the event. Correa and several other speakers said that SPPD’s increase in budget was an affront to those who grieve for Floyd, and to the poor and working class in general.

“Here in St. Pete, the general budget this past year in the current fiscal year is about $307 million and the police got 124.8 million,” William Kilgore of SPTU and St. Pete Cop Watch said. “That is like 40% of that budget. That’s crazy,” Kilgore said to cheers from the audience.” Ruth Beltran of PSL spoke about the overall role of police in the U.S., like many other speakers that day. “They guard oppression. Mass incarceration exists today because of the role of the police,” Beltran said, referring to the original role of the police as slave catchers. “It is the police officers who go into black and brown Indigenous communities and arrest our people.” Sheridan Murphy of the Florida Indigenous Alliance called on attendees to rise up and take action by “any means necessary” if they feel they are being wronged by city council and police. “We know what power is, we have that power. They only have authority,” Murphy said, referring to local officials and police. “You have a choice to make—I say make it here, make it now.” See more photos on p. 8.

“We know what power is, we have that power. They only have authority.”

cltampa.com | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | 17

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Bad forum

In public discussion, Tampa officials stereotyped homeless people as mentally ill addicts. By Justin Garcia

uring a forum on homelessness on May 24, Tampa city officials used stereotyping language to describe the local homeless community, despite experts onstage attempting to correct it. Tampa’s Communications Director Adam Smith started the forum off with a joke. “You might have seen all those people on the street across the street,” Smith said, referring to those waiting in line for the Phoebe Bridgers concert at the Cuban Club. “I thought they were homeless at first but they’re here for the concert across the street. So I’m glad you got parking.” The crowd chuckled in response. Misguided assumptions about homeless people went on from there, even though forum panelists from the county and local nonprofits tried to correct some of the city’s views on local homelessness. During discussion of whether or not to give a struggling person on the street money when they ask for it, Antoinette D. Hayes-Triplett, CEO of the Tampa Hillsborough Homeless Initiative, suggested that connecting people to services is more important, and said that giving money to a person on the street could sometimes “prolong a person’s homelessness.” Smith responded by asking, “It’s just gonna go to booze and drugs?” “Not necessarily, but maybe sometimes,” Hayes-Triplett said. “Is that a consensus answer?” Smith asked the others at the forum during Hayes-Triplett’s response as a follow-up question. Smith told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that this follow-up question was in regards to giving money to homeless people in general, not the “booze and drugs” question. A minute-and-a-half later, Felicia CrosbyRucker, Hillsborough County’s director of homeless and community services, tried to point out the flaw in stereotyping homeless people as drunk addicts. “The face of homelessness has changed,” she said. “It’s not the old drunk person with the rough beard, and old dirty clothes and stuff. The face of homelessness looks like this [pointing at herself] it looks like anybody up here, the person in the cubicle next to you.” Later on in the forum, when discussing why Catholic Charities chose East Tampa for its “Tampa Hope” Homeless Shelter location, Smith suggested it was put there because homeless people have problems with alcohol, and was again corrected. “Isn’t part of the reason Tampa Hope wound up where it is is because you don’t want to have it in an area where there are a lot of liquor stores?” Smith asked. Maggie Rogers, executive director for Catholic Charities, who formed the homeless

shelter with the help of $750,000 from the City of Tampa, cut Smith off to say, “That is actually the location where the majority of the population that is at Tampa Hope come from.” Tampa Hope is located at 3704 E 3rd Ave. in East Tampa, a historically Black area of the city. Activists have complained for years that the city ignores East Tampa and its community, leading to impoverishment and many residents in the area struggling to make ends meet. When asked for a statement, Smith said, “I may have said some clumsy things during the hour and a half forum, but I hope that’s not your main takeaway.” The forum did in fact cover several important subjects about homelessness. Rising rent prices and cost of living pricing everyday people

20 | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | cltampa.com

it difficult to earn a stable income or to carry out daily activities in ways that encourage stable housing,” the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation found. “Several studies have shown, however, that individuals with mental illnesses often find themselves homeless primarily as the result of poverty and a lack of low-income housing.” When a person hits the streets, the symptoms often get worse. “On the streets, mental health problems get exacerbated, and addiction often starts or is amplified when someone finds themselves in a desperate position such as homelessness,” the foundation wrote. The foundation says that because of poverty and lack of resources, a homeless person may turn to drugs and alcohol, but it is not the overall case of homeless people in general.

CITYOFTAMPA/FACEBOOK

LOCAL NEWS

referenced addiction and mental illness as being prevalent among the homeless community. When referring to Tampa Hope, Castor said, “it’s a location that individuals can go and they can receive the services that they need, which we all know a lot of times deals with mental illness and addiction.” O’Connor said, “I think it’s no secret that a lot of our homeless are suffering from mental health issues and a lot of our society is suffering from mental health issues, which is why, you know, law enforcement is being tasked now more than ever to respond to a mental health crisis.” Tampa police chose to implement a police officer-led behavioral health response unit, despite community and expert outcry to create a program that has mental health experts respond to such crises, not police. St. Petersburg has

JOKES ASIDE: Panelists tried to correct some of the city’s views on local homelessness into homelessness was mentioned several times during the discussion, and those interested in watching the whole thing can do so on the city’s Facebook page. The forum was hosted by Mayor Jane Castor, who recently said she is anti-rent stabilization because it would “kill development.” Developers funded more than half of her election campaign. During the meeting, both Castor and her controversial police chief pick Mary O’Connor

implemented such a program, to great success. But Tampa has so far avoided such a model. Castor and O’Connor’s statements didn’t address that both addiction and mental illness aren’t the root causes of homelessness. They are problems that can actually be exacerbated by a lack of resources such as low-income housing, according to experts. “An individual’s mental illness may lead to cognitive and behavioral problems that make

Several of the forum’s experts pointed out the desperate need for affordable housing, including Mayor Castor and Smith. They talked about the seriousness of the homeless situation in Tampa. But still, the city continued to use outdated stereotypes to describe local homeless people in general. The city did not respond to questions about Castor and O’Connors references to mental illness and addiction in the homeless community.

Dunedin Pride Week 2022 June 11 - 18, 2022 Live, work, play, and retire in Dunedin. DUNEDIN PRIDE 2022 EVENTS Media Reception Drag Queen Brunch & Pool Party Golf Cart Pride Parade Family Day Dunedin Blue Jays "Pride at TD Ballpark" Baseball Game Silent Disco Drag Queen Dance Party Women's Luau Party Educational Events Dunedin Pride Inclusive Film Screening of "Gen Silent: The LGBT Aging Film" DIFF LGBTQIA+ "Shorts" Pre-screening Dinner After Party Prohibition Themed Gay-Lah And More!

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24 | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | cltampa.com

For whatever reason

The GOP always makes finding answers a performance.

“A

frican Americans have a higher incidence of maternal mortality,” Louisiana Sen. Bill Cassidy told Politico on May 19. “So, if you correct our population for race, we’re not as much of an outlier as it’d otherwise appear.” Understandably, that remark quickly met with a tsunami of derision. To critics, Cassidy, a physician, had betrayed the callousness those who want to ban abortion feel toward the women they’re forcing to give birth. And, indeed, there is something discomfiting about a U.S. senator saying that except for Black people—who comprise a third of his state’s population—everything is fine. (Otherwise, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?) But we should focus on what Cassidy said next. “Now, I say that not to minimize the issue but to focus the issue as to where it would be. For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality.” For whatever reason. The U.S. has the worst maternal mortality rate of any developed nation. Louisiana has one of the worst maternal mortality rates in the U.S. Pregnancy-associated deaths are four times more common in Louisiana among Black women than among white women. Not coincidentally, Louisiana has some of the strictest antiabortion laws in the country, defining a fetus as a human being from “the moment of fertilization and implantation.” As soon as Roe falls, abortion will be banned. Last month, Louisiana Republicans considered a bill that would make obtaining an abortion a homicide, though that proved a bridge too far even for the Right to Life crowd. Instead, they’ll likely criminalize providing abortions. I say not coincidentally because states with more restrictive abortion policies have a 7% higher maternal mortality rate than states with less restrictive laws, according to a 2021 study in the American Journal of Public Health. In states like Louisiana that pile on restrictions—gestational age, ultrasounds, parental consent, counseling, waiting periods, restrictions on health insurance funding—total maternal mortality is more than 30% higher than in states without them. When states deny women access to abortion, women are more likely to try to terminate their pregnancies through unsafe,

illegal methods, which puts their lives at risk. Abortion restrictions can also force women with chronic conditions—which are be exacerbated by pregnancy—to carry their pregnancies to term, putting their lives and health in danger. “Furthermore,” the authors wrote, “while there is no evidence supporting negative lasting impacts from obtaining an abortion, women forced to remain pregnant are more likely to remain in unhealthy relationships, suffer mental and physical health consequences, live in poverty, and have lower life satisfaction.” The study’s link between abortion restrictions and increased maternal mortality accounts for demographic and socioeconomic factors such as poverty, education, and public health spending. But the study points out that, putting abortion aside, those variables explain why not only conservative states tend to have higher rates of maternal deaths, but larger racial disparities, too. “In this study,” the authors wrote, “states with highest numbers of abortion-restricting laws had the worst socioeconomic conditions. Such harmful social context, characterized by high poverty, a lack of health care safety net and paid family leave, systemic racism, and historical disinvestments in comprehensive community-oriented primary care, particularly in communities of color, are root causes of persistent racial inequities in maternal death.” Which brings us back to Cassidy: “For whatever reason, people of color have a higher incidence of maternal mortality.” The reasons—plural— aren’t a mystery. Poverty. Poor access to prenatal care, especially in rural areas. Inadequate public health spending. A study published in 2020 found that “each 10% increase in pregnancy-related public health expenditures was associated with a 13.5% decline in [maternal mortality] among [Black women] and a 20.0% reduction in Black-white disparities.” Ultimately, the high level of maternal mortality among Black Louisianans that Cassidy laments is a product of something he and other Republicans say doesn’t exist, and something they don’t want white children being taught is real: systemic racism.

INFORMED DISSENT

“The same people who want to ban abortion pretend we can’t know why women of color are more likely to die because of childbirth.”

GAGE SKIDMORE

By Jeffrey C. Billman

GOOGLE IT: Republicans like Bill Cassidy are always befuddled by ‘ inexplicable, unforeseeable questions.’ Black Americans “are less likely to receive proper care for diabetes, kidney disease, and various cancers even though they have higher rates of almost every disease,” Dr. Aaron E. Carroll wrote in the Journal of the American Medical Association Health Forum. ”Black persons in the U.S. face roadblocks in every aspect of health care …. They are less likely to be able to access health care. If they are able to do so, they are less likely to get the care they need to remain healthy. To drive the point home: “Sickle cell disease affects three times as many people in the U.S. as cystic fibrosis,” Carroll wrote. “Yet cystic fibrosis receives 11 times as much funding per patient from the federal government, and 440 times more funding from foundations.” Sickle-cell disease predominantly affects people of African, Middle Eastern, and Mediterranean descent. Cystic fibrosis is common among those with Northern European ancestry. Another example: Black Louisians are more than twice as likely to die of COVID-19

than their white counterparts, according to the Public Affairs Research Council of Louisiana—a disparity Sen. Cassidy blamed on obesity. But higher rates of obesity in minority populations are also inextricably linked to systemic racism and a lack of access to health care and healthy food. All of this is woven together—abortion to maternal mortality, maternal mortality to social determinants of health, social determinants of health to systemic racism. Yet the same people who want to ban abortion pretend we can’t know why women of color are more likely to die because of childbirth while—though bills barring critical race theory—prohibiting schools from discussing the legacy of slavery and segregation. And when they ban abortion and maternal deaths increase—particularly among women of color—they’ll make a performance about searching for answers to an inexplicable, unforeseeable question that a few minutes on Google could have solved years ago.

cltampa.com | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | 25

Shit Happened WEDNESDAY 25

list compiled by Guidepost Solutions. Over 50 of the alleged incidents occurred in Florida, according to Bradenton Herald. Who’s a fucking groomer, now?

GAGE SKIDMORE

THURSDAY 26 Gov. Ron DeSantis formally received a school-safety bill that would direct the State Board of Education to develop rules for school emergency drills. Very cool since Esther Byrd, a DeSantis appointee to the board, was photographed on a boat flying a QAnon flag.

MONDAY 31 Eight Tampa Bay-based Southern Baptist Church pastors and clergymen were named among alleged sexual abusers in an extensive

26 | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | cltampa.com

A 47-year-old man was killed at Largo’s John S. Taylor Park this after being attacked by an alligator while swimming in a lake in search of a lost frisbee golf disc. Florida, man, indeed.

TAMPAPD/FACEBOOK

A new survey testing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis versus Vice President Kamala Harris in a 2024 Presidential Election shows the Democrat slightly ahead of the rising Republican star. That bit of “fake news” definitely ruffled your father-in-law’s feathers.

Tampa Police Department’s officer of the month has a long history of violations, including some so severe that he was fired in 2019, only to be rehired before violating department policy several more times. TPD is totally the department of second, third, fourth and fifth chances. More shit, figuring who employee of the month at CL is, via cltampa.com/news.

cltampa.com | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | 27

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Hole yeah

Free doughnuts, plus more Tampa Bay foodie news. By Kyla Fields and Molly Ryan

DATZDOUGH/FACEBOOK

riday, June 3 is National Doughnut Day, and For more information on these exclusive Datz and its sweet counterpart Dough will eats, keep up with Datz and Dough by followdish out exclusive treats in celebration. All ing their Facebook pages at @datztampa and three Datz locations—in St. Petersburg, South @datzdough. Tampa and Riverview—will participate in the launch of its new Nashville hot chicken doughnut St. Pete ‘Old Florida’ style seafood joint sandwich, while the standalone Dough storefront Cap’s grand opens this weekend in the old will offer a free doughnut with any purchase of MacDinton’s a coffee or dessert. Downtown St. Pete’s First Fridays combine two Dough, located at 2602 S MacDill Ave. in of life’s greatest pleasures: drinking and people South Tampa, will also use next week’s holiday watching. And starting this weekend, you can to launch its newest and most Tampa-fied flavor do both of those things at the newly-opened seayet—the guava and cheese doughnut. Datz’s hot food restaurant Cap’s, located at 226 First Ave. chicken sandwich is complete with fried chicken N. The new seafood-driven eatery celebrates its tenders tossed in a red-hot sauce, honey drizzle official grand opening on Friday, June 3 out of and pickles— all between two fluffy cinnamon the space formerly occupied by MacDinton’s Irish sugar doughnuts. Known for its fried mac and Pub, which unexpectedly closed in early April. cheese buns and cheddar-crusted tortillas, this Cap’s soft opened earlier this month, but is sandwich is one of the newest additions to Datz’s finally ready to celebrate a grand opening and belly-busting menu. transition into full service. Fully equipped with Hole In One Donuts’ Tarpon Springs loca- outdoor-only seating, a raw seafood bar with spetion—located at 39024 U.S.-Hwy 19 N—will be cialty oysters and bar-side steam kettles, this giving a free glazed donut no purchase required restaurant boasts the “tastes of Old Florida until supplies with modlast, too. ern Americana Creative flare.” Alongside Loafing Tampa a wide variety Bay reached out of seafood to to other doughchoose from, are nut hotspots like hearty entrees like its barbeSupernatural Food & Wine, cue chicken St. Pete’s Fray’s flatbread, proDonuts, and sciutto and Tampa’s popmanchego croular Nicola’s quetas, smashed Doughnut burgers and Shop, but none DOH! I hope you’re reading this before June 3. pulled pork of those bakersandwiches, as ies plan to celebrate National Doughnut Day this a recent Tampa Bay Times article details. week. National chains like Dunkin’ Donuts and The folks behind Cap’s also run the newlyKrispy Kreme ran promotional deals for National opened Coffee Grounds, the boozy cafe next door. Doughnut Day last year, but it’s unsure if they The popular Treasure Island coffee shop recently are doing anything special for the holiday. moved to downtown St. Pete’s 200 block, just Coincidentally, June 3 is also National Egg before its seafood counterpart’s soft opening Day, as South Tampa’s Datz will serve its egg- earlier this month. filled breakfast dishes all day-long. All three Coffee Grounds boasts beachy craft cocktails locations will also offer the chance to add egg like the Sunset Smash with vodka, berry kombuto any of its sandwiches on the lunch and din- cha and lemon and its Island Colada with Malibu ner menu as well. rum, pineapple and coconut milk. In addition to

coffee and cocktails, this cafe also sells a variety of pastries and other small bites, if you don’t have the appetite for a full dinner at Cap’s. Cap’s is a joint venture from Jannus Live owner Jeff Knight and local commercial real estate agent Jon LaBudde, who is also a partner in various St. Pete restaurants like Big Catch at Salt Creek and Buya Ramen, according to St. Pete Catalyst. The new bar and restaurant only occupies a section of the former MacDinton’s space, as the rest of the area will be occupied by a new country bar called Welcome to the Farm, another collaborative business from Jeff Knight and Jon LaBudde. If the First Friday madness isn’t your scene, you can visit Cap’s from 5 p.m.-10 p.m. Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday, and 5 p.m.-11 p.m. FridaySaturday, according to ILovetheBurg. There’s no website or social media pages for Cap’s just yet, but its sibling cafe Coffee Grounds posts updates about the seafood restaurant, and can be found at @coffeegroundscafe on Facebook. Iconic Tampa Irish pub Four Green Fields reopens in Channelside Last week, Tampa’s beloved Irish pub Four Green Fields opened its iconic green door once again. Located at 802 N 12th St., in Tampa’s Channel District, the new location’s painted facade is reminiscent of the original bar that opened as America’s first authentic thatchedroofed Irish pub in 1992. Unfortunately, after joining the laundry list of bars, restaurants and stores that fell victim to the hardships of COVID-19, the original Platt Street location shut its doors for good after 30 years of being of service in 2020. In its heyday, the bar hosted some of Ireland’s most famous performers, like Sinead O’Connor and The Wolf Tones, and was once voted by the Dublinbased publication “Ireland of the Welcomes” as one the top 10 Irish pubs in the world. On Monday, the pub announced via Instagram and Facebook that the new location would be open last Thursday. “We have live music & the best Guinness around. Be the first to check out the new location, doors open at 7pm…,” the post said. While the new location’s 16,000-squarefoot warehouse is different from the original pub’s layout, the entrance welcomes its beloved patrons with a mural made to mimic the Platt Street bar front—with the original green door. The new Fields, located between Sparkman Wharf and Ybor City, features an outdoor patio area, an in-house microbrewery and a whiskey tasting room.

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Get naked

The 25 hottest new restaurants in Tampa Bay right now. By Max Steele and Molly Ryan

rom vegan sushi to pierogis, the cuisine across Tampa Bay has never been more expansive. We’re already halfway through 2022, and the area has seen an unprecedented outburst of new restaurants, bars and venues. Here are a few of the must-try new spots around Tampa Bay. Don’t know where to start? We’ve got you covered. 2D Cafe Downtown St. Pete’s innovative two-dimensional cafe serves breakfast bites, sandwiches, pastries, coffee, tea and alcoholic beverages. The cartoon-inspired spot opened on April 8 and is the first of its kind in the area. 2105 Central Ave., St. Petersburg, 727-329-9008. 2dcafe.com 3 Daughters Brewing Clearwater Beach’s new taproom hosts a wide variety of craft beers, “beach bites,” live music and waterfront views. The brewery opened on April 7 and is now the second location in Tampa Bay. 381 Mandalay Ave. 3rd Floor, Clearwater Beach, 727-371-1153. 3dbrewing.com/tasting-room-clearwater Bare Naked Kitchen From the Tampa founders of Outback and local chef Chris Ponte, Bare Naked Kitchen invites patrons to “eat adventurously” with its fast-casual dining approach. Serving an assortment of bowls, flatbreads and salads, the chain opened its South Tampa location in January after success at its original store in Tallahassee. 3915 Henderson Blvd., Tampa, 813-694-7291. eatbarenaked.com Black Radish Grocer Though this vegan grocer opened its St. Pete location last December, Black Radish has earned a spot for its expansive fare and cuisine. Like its sister location in Tampa’s Ybor City, the store offers a variety of items beyond your run-of-the-mill supermarket finds in addition to vegan staples like Impossible meats and Daiya cheeses. The new location also offers a deli, serving made-to-order sandwiches and other daily specials. 246 Dr M.L.K. Jr. St. N, St. Petersburg, 727-623-9877. blackradishgrocer.com The Brutalist / Temple of Beer St. Pete’s new minimalist-inspired brewing facility features a taproom with 20 constantly rotating taps of “Florida’s best.” The brewery opened on March 10 and serves its own branded beer. 1776 11th Ave. N., St. Petersburg, 727-350-3055. templeofbeer.com Dang Dude Located in the Sparkman Wharf plaza, the Asian food-container restaurant serves gluten-friendly dumplings, rou jia mo, noodles, boba tea, sake and beer. The fast-casual restaurant opened in early March. 615 Channelside Dr., Tampa, 813-582-1770. dang-dude.com FLocale Seminole Heights’ new dine-in eatery hosts Westshore Pizza, King of the Coop

and Rock Brothers Brewing and serves za’, chicken tendies and an assortment of craft beers. The multi-concept restaurant opened on March 19 and features a 40-foot bar with nearly 200 seats. 5910 N Florida Ave., Tampa, 813-232-2667. flocale.com Green Pagoda This Asian American spot is a fusion restaurant in every sense of the word, and serves a mixture of sushi, pad thai, fried rice, dumplings, ribeye steak, baked chicken and lobster risotto. 7900 4th St. N, St. Petersburg, 239-877-0152. @greenpagodastpete on Facebook House of Vegano Serving a selection of Asian-inspired, plant-based cuisine, House of Vegano is the first vegan sushi spot in the ‘Burg. Located in the Body Electric compound in St. Pete’s Warehouse District, the restaurant uses locally sourced fruits and vegetables to mimic the umami flavors in classic rolls like the volcano roll and house originals like the royale roll

32 | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | cltampa.com

opening on April 5 and online reservations are required. 615 Channelside Dr. no. 112, Tampa, 813-542-2021. noblericeco.com Olde Florida Brewing Company Largo’s newly-opened brewery offers house brews, blonde and brown ales, IPAs, stouts and more. The bar opened in early March and offers extensive outdoor seating with beach chairs and Florida decor. 1158 7th St. NW, Largo, 727-229-8010. @ oldefloridabrew on Facebook Pop Goes The Waffle Pop Goes the Waffle opened its storefront location in Gulfport this March after serving out of a food truck since 2017. The 2021 Best of the Bay winner for Best Black-owned Business, hosts a wide assortment of flavors from cinnamon toast to lemon poppyseed, as well as fillings and toppings, this spot is a waffle-lover’s dream come true. 5004 S Tangerine Ave., Gulfport. popgoesthewaffle.com PopStroke Tiger Woods’ creation features a 18-hole mini-golf course, table and lawn games, outdoor dining and a rooftop bar. The Sarasota location opened on April 28 and gives a glimpse of the Tampa location set to open later this year in Wesley Chapel. 195 University Town Center Dr., Sarasota, 941-500-9495. popstroke.com/ sarasota continued on page 36

NAKEDFARMER/FACEBOOK

DINING GUIDE

with poached vegan scallops. 655 31st St. S, St. Petersburg. houseofvegano.com Jay Luigi Bringing a new style of Italianfusion to the heart of St. Pete. With dinner and lunch options, this fast-casual spot features fresh pastas, Roman-style and Neapolitan pizzas, salads and more. 3201 4th St. N, St. Petersburg, 727-390-8883. jayluigi.com Lala St. Pete As St. Pete’s first dual restaurant and karaoke bar, Lala (stylized “LALA”) offers private, ready-to-rent karaoke rooms. Located next to the happening Grand Central Brewhouse, the spot serves a variety of Mediterranean-inspired dishes and has a rooftop bar. 2324 Central Ave., St. Petersburg, 727-329-9455. lalastpete.com Naked Farmer This build-your-own-bowl eatery offers locally-sourced items and boasts being in “direct conversation” with the regional farmers. Its menu is dependent on what’s in season, Naked Farmer’s spring selection featured strawberries and fennel, lemon-basil summer squash, and heirloom cherry tomatoes. 1001 Water St., Tampa, 813-608-0329. eatnakedfarmer.com Noble Rice Sparkman Wharf’s new modern Japanese restaurant serves a variety of high-end dishes, including wagyu beef, sashimi platters, caviar and sake. The restaurant held its grand

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THEPRETZELHAUS/TWITTER

GOT ME TWISTED: Yes, The Pretzel Haus has glizzies. continued from page 32 Pierogi Bar Having opened its doors this month, Pierogi Bar calls itself the “first and best” Ukrainian restaurant in St. Pete. While the menu is simple, it hits classic flavors and fillings like potato and cheese. To showcase the “regional diversity” and of the historical and cultural foods of Ukraine, owner Daryna Voloshyn hopes to open more locations in the future. 6661 Central Ave., St. Petersburg, 727487-2903. pierogi.bar Portillo’s Located on the east end of Tyrone Square Mall, the Chicago-based chain serves traditional hot dogs, beef, sausage and chicken sandwiches, cheeseburgers, french fries, milkshakes and “world famous” chocolate cake. The popular ‘50s-inspired diner first opened on April 5 and is the chain’s fourth location in Florida. 2302 Tyrone Blvd N, St. Petersburg, 727-390-6625. portillos.com/location/st-petersburg The Pretzel Haus With pretzel nugget platters, pretzel pizzas and stuffed pretzel sandwiches, The Pretzel Haus in Tampa is perfect when you’re left wanting more from Auntie Anne’s. Since opening in January, the spot has expanded its menu and now hosts a wider variety of savory and sweet pretzel dishes as well as cold beer to pair them with. According to the restaurant website, a Palm Harbor location is also in the works. 14351 N Dale Mabry Hwy, Tampa, 813-644-7978. pretzel-haus.com Roam Restaurant and Bar From the owners of the popular Reds BBQ food truck, Roam offers an upscale experience with a menu that takes influence from both local cuisine and flavors around the world. Located in the Lealman neighborhood of St. Petersburg, the restaurant hosts a menu with seasonal dishes and a wide assortment of cocktails. 3405 34th St. N, St. Petersburg, 727-346-5242. @roamsteakhouse on Facebook Salty Nun Central Avenue’s newest restaurant serves plates full of double-stuffed

French toast, chorizo biscuits and gravy and Cuban eggs Benedict for breakfast and pork sliders, jalapeno poppers and nachos for lunch. The restaurant opened on March 3 and hosts live music on its outdoor patio. 2501 Central Ave., St. Petersburg, 727-329-9994. @saltyfun on Facebook Tacos My Love St. Pete’s new fine dining Mexican spot serves—you guessed it—tacos, fajitas, vegan nachos, signature cocktails, margaritas and more. The restaurant opened on Cinco de Mayo and accepts online reservations. 400 49th St. S, St. Petersburg, 727-498-6646. tacosmylove.com Taverna Costale Situated between some of the area’s most populated bars and restaurants in Downtown St. Pete, Taverna Costale offers an upscale dining experience and unique take on Italian cuisine from celebrity chef, Fabio Vivani. From unorthodox appetizers like grilled bone marrow to decadent entrees such as squid ink paccheri, the menu presents a creative twist on classic dishes. 200 Central Ave. Suite 165, St. Petersburg, 727-9543863. tavernacostale.com True Food Kitchen Located in the heart of Tampa-hotspot Midtown, True Food Kitchen is a place where foodies and health junkies meet. Serving brunch, lunch and dinner, the menu offers seasonal selections with an emphasis on sustainability and wellness including burgers, bowls, house-made juices and more. 3645 Midtown Dr., Tampa, 813-3274455. truefoodkitchen.com Twisted Indian Grand Central District’s recent addition serves its signature “naanwhiches,” street tacos, Bollywood bowls, yogi fries, curritos and more. The food-truck-turnedrestaurant opened on May 3 and plans to continue to add to its menu and expand hours of operation. 2639 Central Ave., St. Petersburg, 727-954-3872. thetwistedindian.com

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38 | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | cltampa.com

“How do you not fall in love with it?” MOVIES

THEATER

ART

CULTURE

Spring revival

Tampa’s Purity Springs is up for a makeover. By Dr. Amanda Hagood “When you see this little, blue, majestic spring nestled in the middle of an urban community,” Remer reflects, “how do you not fall in love with it?” My son is certainly falling for it. Distracted by laying out our picnic, I now notice his discarded shoes and socks. He heads for the cool water tumbling over the old concrete weir that holds back the blue basin. “Hey!” I say, pointing to a nearby sign. “It says no swimming!” “Can I just wade?” he pleads, his face a pink, sweaty question mark. I eye the sandy stream run. Purity’s fresh water attracts its fair share of transient

chlorine, the company claimed, giving it a kind of legendary quality—especially when, in the 1950s, pressure came from the city for Purity Springs to sell its holdings. Adam’s ale, I think, knocking back a few now-lukewarm gulps from my Nalgene, filled and iced earlier that day courtesy of my kitchen tap. Relying on small, localized water sources— along with a patchwork of barrels, cisterns, and other rain-capturing devices—used to be the norm for American settlements. But as those cities began to grow, the demand for faster, easier access to large quantities of water increased. Tampa’s first city waterworks, completed in 1889, began as a response to a disastrous set of fires in the winter of 18841885, and provided reliable fire hydrants along with water you didn’t have to haul or pump by hand, followed shortly by a first set of continued on page 40

CITY WILDS

DR. AMANDA HAGOOD

“O

f all that’s broken with America’s approach to freshwater,” writes Cynthia Barnett in her 2011 "Blue Revolution: Unmaking America’s Water Crisis," “the most harmful break is that of the ancient bond between people and water.” I’m feeling this breakdown down to my overheated core one sweltering Labor Day afternoon, cruising westward along Bird Street past River Tower Park. The park’s sun-bleached fields stretch out on the left, while acres of strip malls and parking lots bake away on the right. Behind me, my five-year-old son is draped across his car seat like a steamed noodle. I’ve dragged the poor kiddo along on this adventure with promises that we’ll “hunt for a hidden spring”—pretty enticing for a young explorer—but I estimate we’re now four minutes short of a meltdown. “We’re super close,” I tell him, not 100% sure about that, through the thrumming exhaust of a red light. “The river’s right there by the tower, so the spring’s got to be close.” We dart left and then right onto North River Shore Drive, grateful as the Hillsborough snakes into view and the trees throw cool shadows over the road. A moment later we’re pulling off onto a graveled shoulder, unloading our picnic, and plunging into a small jungle of overgrown elephant ear and papyrus. We hug the edge of a dark pond shaded by the languid limbs of oaks. The curving path leads us back through the woods until suddenly a grassy slope falls away into a small, startlingly blue pool. It glows from within, like a jewel. It opens upward to the sky, like a wide-awake eye. My heart catches in my throat; the boy cheers. We finally found Purity Springs. We aren’t the only ones seeking this little blue wonder these days. Whit Remer, Sustainability and Resilience Officer for the City of Tampa, is leading an effort to restore Purity Springs, now backed by $217,000 from Tampa Bay Environmental Restoration Fund and the City of Tampa as well as a $1 million in American Rescue Plan money earmarked in the state budget. Remer himself discovered this little-known site as part of a “springs tour” led by University of South Florida School of Architecture and Community Design’s Brian Cook, a landscape architect who researches the historic patterns of the Hillsborough River.

campers, and I’m concerned about what surprises the muck might conceal. “You can get your feet wet,” I relent. “But watch where you step. And stay out of the pool.” I watch as he splashes his way through a forgotten chapter of Tampa history. As early as 1912, this place was home to the Purity Springs Water Company, which supplied drinking water to a crescent of neighborhoods stretching along the Hillsborough, including Seminole Heights and Sulphur Springs. A pumphouse once stood on this very site, tapping the flow to fill bottles and water mains for as many as 5,200 subscribers, and sending barges loaded with spring water downriver for seagoing ships at Seddon Island (now Harbor Island). “Purity Springs Water” was once a bragging point for hotels and rentals throughout the city who took that supply. The water was neither filtered nor treated with anything but a bit of

EYE SEE YOU: Purity Spings’ startlingly blue pool glows from within, like a jewel.

cltampa.com | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | 39

RAY ROA

ADAM’S ALE: As early as 1912, this place was home to the Purity Springs Water Company. continued from page 39 sewers (discharging, until 1915, right into the Hillsborough River). And while it’s an undeniably good thing to have the water we need at our fingertips—not to say a convenient way to put out fires and flush our, um, effluents—somewhere along the way, an important connection was lost. “People just turn on the tap and don’t even think about where the water is coming from,” Hillsborough County Commissioner Mariella Smith tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. She would know: as Vice Chair of Tampa Bay Water, she helps oversee the distribution of regional water resources to 2.5 million people in Hillsborough, Pasco, and Pinellas County. “People don’t generally think about water as a shared resource, one that we have to preserve and protect.” This may, in part, explain what happened here. As the city became more reliant on the Hillsborough River Reservoir, its water treatment facility, and the complex but largely invisible infrastructure it uses to deliver water to customers, small, storied sources like Purity faded into the background and off the map. The water we drink became abstracted, dislocated, a commodity—which, Smith tells me, can be had at the mind-bogglingly low price of $1 or $2 per 1000 gallons, depending on whether it’s ground or surface water. Purity itself, finally purchased by the city in 1961, gradually transformed into an obscure city park, just another impaired tributary seeping away into the river. Which is where the idea of restoration comes in. Small though it is, Remer explains, repairing Purity’s flow, unearthing buried pipes and resloping and replanting its banks, will improve

the health of the estuary. It will provide the right temperature and chemistry for aquatic species to thrive in this part of the river again and scrub out nitrates that contribute to harmful algal blooms in the bay. With the additions of some boardwalks and paths, Remer hopes, it could also create an amenity for the underserved community living up the hill at the J. L. Young Garden Apartments—“a way,” he says, “to reconnect them to something that could be healing and restorative.” What a miraculous effect, I think, if such healing and restoration could be provided for the many dozens of “lost” springs along the estuary… My thoughts are interrupted by a cloud of mumbled curse words emanating from the brush on the far side of the pool. I spot a young man, his thin frame folded into a seated position atop a foam sleeping pad, a small knapsack tucked beside him. He stares down toward the spring, and grumbles loudly and continuously—not, as I first suspected, into a cell phone, but to someone or something I can’t discern. Startled, and resisting some pretty serious “stranger-danger” indoctrination I received in the third grade, I manage to say, “Hello there. Are we disturbing you?” “No,” he says, looking up, voice softening. “You are not.” But I sense that we are. His attention seems to hover around the peaceful pool almost like a guardian spirit … and here we are, noisily splashing in the stream and gobbling picnic snacks. I recall Remer telling me that the spring had a reputation among some city workers as “that place where homeless people go to bathe”— to the point that many felt just fencing it off would be the best solution.

CITY WILDS

40 | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | cltampa.com

Feeling the need to explain, I say, “This is a beautiful place. I wanted to show it to my son.” “It is the most beautiful place,” he agrees. Slowly, he rises to his feet and walks with measured, heron-like steps down the path that leads to the pool. He dips an empty Dasani bottle into the water, slowly fills it, and brings it to his lips. Now it’s my stomach, not my heart, that is in my throat. Everything I’ve ever been taught about germs, contamination, and outdoor survival turns backflips inside me. “WOAH. Is it OK to drink this water?!” I blurt out. He fixes me with a stare. My question hangs in my ears. Now I remember something else Commissioner Smith said. “If you travel to other countries where you can’t drink the water, it really comes home to you, how extraordinary it is to have access to water that you can trust is safe and clean.” She paused. “For all of us to be running that water through our sprinklers…it’s a mark of the height of privilege.” I’ve almost never had to wonder if it was OK to drink the water in front of me. But many people do—including, evidently, the man across the pool. As well as an estimated 63 million Americans, particularly in small, poor, and minority communities, who are facing the prospect of imperiled drinking water due to industrial dumping, agricultural pollution, or deteriorating water infrastructure. “Of course it’s OK,” says the young man after a beat. “This water comes straight from the Earth.” The story of Purity’s purity lives on. And while I myself am not ready to imbibe, his words ring

true in a different sense: though many of us have lost touch with this crucial fact, all the water we drink ultimately does come from the Earth, from a finite system that we are adding more pressure to with each passing year. The choices we make now about how to source, capture, conserve, and return our water supplies to that system will have a massive impact on the future of humanity. Restoration can be, as Remer says, a surprisingly thorny problem. It’s not just about restoring ecological connections, as critical as they are, but also about managing human connections—the widely varying and sometimes conflicting points of desire and need that anchor and attract different populations to a landscape. I want my son to grow up loving and defending the best gift God ever gave Florida—its water. But I also need to recognize that my way is not the only-and-best way of receiving that precious gift. This, I believe, is the challenging process at the heart of what Remer calls “diversifying access” to public greenspaces. After a few more minutes of playing in the stream and the requisite documentary picture-taking, I suggest to the kiddo that we go find some ice cream. I wave goodbye to the man, still perched above the edge of the spring. I want to return some of the quiet we stole from this place. I follow the trail back to the car, hoping we’ll all be able to find what we’re looking for. As we pull back out onto busy Florida Avenue, I glance up at the review. My son is watching the landscape, deep in thought. “What did you think of Purity Springs?” I ask him. “Mom, it was the most beautiful place.”

“For all of us to be running that water through our sprinklers…it’s a mark of the height of privilege.”

Gio Swaby, My Hands Are Clean 4 (detail), 2017, Thread and fabric sewn on canvas, Collection of Claire Oliver and Ian Rubinstein

cltampa.com | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | 41

Son of a beach

Only one local sandy strip lands on major ‘best of’ list. By Colin Wolf

NIGHTLY SPECIALS

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ith over 30 years of ranking sand under his belt, Florida International University coastal scientist Stephen “Dr. Beach” Leatherman released his annual list of the nation’s top beaches last week, and only two Florida spots made the cut. Caladesi Island State Park, located in Dunedin, came in at No. 2, in Dr. Beach’s 2022 Top Ten Beaches in the country. “Caladesi is reached by pedestrian ferry boat, private boats or a long walk north from Clearwater Beach; the inlet is closed so Caladesi is no longer a true island, but still a great getaway,” says Dr. Beach. “The white beach is composed of crystalline quartz sand which is soft and cushy at the water’s edge, inviting one to take a dip in the sparkling clear waters. There are boardwalk trails, but my favorite is the kayak and canoe trails through the mangroves to see the large blue herons and other birds that frequent this wonderful natural area.” Caladesi’s high ranking is a significant improvement from last year’s 7th place, which is surprising since the write-up about the beach is word-for-word the same as the 2021 ranking and doesn’t explain the jump at all. Nevertheless, Caladesi was only one of two Florida beaches to make the list, with the Panhandle’s St. George Island Park coming in at No. 4. “This long barrier island, far from urban areas, is a favorite destination for beachgoers, anglers and bird watchers as nature abounds. Besides swimming in the crystal-clear water,

I enjoy beachcombing and shelling,” says Dr. Beach. “While St. George Island suffered a big hit in 2018 by Hurricane Michael, the area has substantially recovered, especially the sugary fine, white sand beach. There is much to explore on this serene 2,023-acre park.” Notably, the list also left out recent previous Florida beach winners like Siesta Key and Grayton Beach State Park. Dr. Beach’s annual list is chosen by a 50 point criteria, which includes things like noise levels, traffic, smell, general access, algae levels, rip currents and even the slope of the beach. Over the last year Florida experienced some of the worst Red Tide algae blooms in recent history, which might explain the lack of Gulfadjacent beaches. Here’s the full 2022 list : 1. Ocracoke Lifeguarded Beach, Outer Banks of North Carolina 2. Caladesi Island State Park, Dunedin/ Clearwater, Florida 3. Coopers Beach, Southampton, New York 4. St. George Island State Park, Florida Panhandle 5. Duke Kahanamoku Beach, Oahu, Hawaii 6. Lighthouse Beach, Buxton, Outer Banks of North Carolina 7. Coronado Beach, San Diego, California 8. Wailea Beach, Maui, Hawaii 9. Beachwalker Park, Kiawah Island, South Carolina 10. Coast Guard Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

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THU JUNE 02–THU JUNE 09 By Josh Bradley & Ray Roa C

CL Recommends

THU 02

Ricardo Arjona The last two years of the prolific performer’s life have seen him indulge in 2020’s Blanco, and 2021’s Negro. The works have been referred to as Arjona’s magnum opus, and in February, he plans to release a combined CD set, containing both albums together, plus a 216-page book that revolves around the origins of the album. Also included in Blanco y Negro Libro will be photos that span his entire life. Arjona also had “Hecho a la Antigua,” an acoustic, live stream concert from 2021 up for Best Latin Pop Album at the Grammys this year. Not that he won, though. He hasn’t won anything in that—or any—category since 2007. (Yuengling Center, Tampa) TechN9ne w/Joey Cool/XRaided/¡Mayday! Some people at Albany’s Empire Live just tested positive for COVID-19, forcing Tech N9ne to postpone the Albany stop on his current Asin9ne tour. Luckily, the tour is otherwise moving forward, with the 50-year-old hip-hop icon set to visit St. Pete for the second time in a year. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg) C Rock the Park Tampa: House of I w/ In Transit/NDO Downtown Tampa’s nearly 12-year free, outdoor and family-friendly concert series is back with a familiar face (indie-rock band House of I, a favorite of the CL team) plus one that’s new to us (Bradenton altrock band In Transit). Most exciting, however,

is NDO, an R&B and future soul songwriter who’s almost always joined by boundarypushing Bay area bass guitar savant Rugawd. (Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park, Tampa

C The Doobie Brothers w/Michael McDonald Golden anniversaries are becoming more and more common (sorry, children of the ‘70s), and The Doobie Brothers are leaning in. In celebration of the band’s 50th trip around the sun—well, 52nd, thanks to COVID—Michael McDonald will join his brothers onstage for his first full-fledged tour with them in almost 30 years. Some fans had to sit through a whole pandemic to get to this show, so obviously, what the people need is a way to make ‘em smile. (MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa)

FRI 03

C Bone Thugs-N-Harmony w/Sam E Hues/DJ Ku The crossroads got a little more crowded last month when Bone ThugsN-Harmony collaborator Jewell died, just months after being hospitalized and released after battling fluid in her heart, lungs and legs. No telling if Bizzy, Layzie and Krayzie Bone will pay tribute with her when the Cleveland harmony-making hip-hop outfit lands in Ybor City this weekend, but do expect the group to dip heavy into its lightning quick lyricism, delivered in a melodic fashion, all pre-dating the heavily-sung rap music of today. Get there early, too, to see Tampa rapper Sam E Hues drop the sauwce on fans in the opening slot. (The Ritz, Ybor City)

C Emo Night Tampa 7th Anniversary Kickoff: Crate Brothers w/DJ Udon/ Hovercar/Tracy Consoli/Grave’s Pizza Party/Ryan Berger/more Tampa’s favorite reason to cry on the dance floor made another turn around the sun, and since the last two years have more or less put the kibosh on their anniversary parties, the Emo Night Tampa chaps are staging a two-day celebration this weekend starting with this old-fashioned dance party at downtown Tampa’s favorite dive. A whole bunch of Crate Brothers’ best buds (including Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Editor-In-Chief Ray Roa) will take turns selecting tunes at this no-cover getdown. (The Hub, Tampa)

Christie Lenee w/Chasing Jonah A few months ago, this show was set to be much different. Singer-songwriter Patty Smyth (no, not the punk rock icon) was scheduled to headline with acoustic guitarist Christie Lenée opening. But the “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” co-hitmaker had to cancel her entire tour; Lenée, however, did not want the tour to die altogether. As a result, she brings her fingerstyle techniques, along with keyboardist Joe Cosas and drummer Jonathan Thomas to Largo this Friday. Chasing Jonah opens. (Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo)

C K-Ruth w/Asaru/Taylor Moon/Brilly Asher Shqurria Walker has never been afraid to talk about her problems, and even turned them into her top-streamed single. Walker, better known as K-Ruth, hits the stage with a preacher’s conviction (happens when you grow up singing in the choir) and will be joined by Asaru—a true MC, Bronx-born who writes from the heart and puts messages into all of his music—and Brilly Asher, two of CL’s 22 Rappers to Watch in ‘22. Asher has been releasing music since at least 2016 but didn’t start commanding attention until 2017 when he dropped his first official music video for “Toonami Flow.” The clip opens with a fun track inspired by Asher’s love of anime and cartoons before he drops witty lyrics throughout and references shows like “Pokémon,” “Yu-Gi-Oh!” and “Dragon Ball Z.” (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

BEDROCK

Love Songs For Junkies w/The Kutoffs/ Atomic Treehouse/Feed The Geese/ Butcher Cabal/Kick Dicker Typically, Brass Mug—located just up the road from Skipper’s Smokehouse—is Heavy Metal Central. Love Songs For Junkies’ and its punk-rock inspired jams takes over the venue with a stacked support lineup. LSFJ recently had to cancel an acoustic show due to a member having lost their voice, so here’s hoping that it’s back, and stronger than ever. (Brass Mug, Tampa) Southern Hospitality w/Frank Bang Music This Florida outhern Americana trio is more of a supergroup than anything else. Grammy winner Victor Wainwright, slide guitar virtuoso (and Dickey Betts alum) Damon Fowler, and Red Hots frontman J.P. Soars have been back out playing since summer of 2021, when

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

continued on page 46

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EarthGang

ANT SOLOU

live music started coming back in a sociallydistanced fashion. The group’s only album, Easy Livin’ has picked up thousands of listens on Spotify, and it returns to Skipper’s alongside Frank Bang, a former touring guitarist for Buddy Guy. (Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa)

SAT 04

C Emo Night Tampa 7th Anniversary: Michael Cera Palin/Virginity/Pilot Jonezz/Pet Lizard Emo Night Tampa’s two-day anniversary party wraps in Ybor City with a free concert headlined by Michael Cera Palin, which is neither a Canadian actor or almost-Canadian gun nut who is running in a special election for Alaska’s at-large House seat. The Atlanta outfit returned from a hiatus in 2020, bringing back with it a brand of Midwestern emo math-rock that’s also for fans of the Front Bottoms and Mom Jeans. We’ve got our fingers crossed for Michael Cera Palin’s cover of Sheryl Crow’s “If It Makes You Happy,” but will be happy just to be in the room with the band, along with Daytona “adult contemporary emo-punk” band Virginity and local favorites opening the show. (Crowbar, Ybor City) C First Saturday Jazz: LaRue Nickelson Trio LaRue Nickelson is, in the minds of his musical collaborators, friends, critics and people who know about such things, a terrific jazz guitarist. The 47-year-old possesses a bountiful imagination as an improviser, considerable technique, a deep knowledge of harmonic theory, formidable composing chops and,

46 | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | cltampa.com

perhaps most important, a voice on the instrument that is very much his own. He plays a free show in Seminole Heights this weekend. (The Independent Bar & Cafe, Tampa)—Eric Snider Grum Scottish electro-house musician Grum has a new album out, and he’s only promoting it in limited locations across the U.S. Unreality, his third LP this decade, doesn’t officially drop until June 24, but depending on what’s included in the 36-year-old’s setlist this time around, don’t be surprised if YouTube holds the keys to enjoying the new record before its official release, albeit live. Sure enough, tour kickoff is at The Ritz this weekend, and the guest list is free, so if you want to hear the live debut of Grum’s Sealine collaboration “Disconnected,” you best put your name down. Or of course, pay the $10 for guaranteed entry. (The Ritz, Ybor City) Maverick City Music w/Kirk Franklin/ Jonathan McReynolds Can’t wait to get to church this Sunday? Well, wait no more. Maverick City Music hasn’t hit the five-year mark yet, but has already made major airwaves across contemporary Christian radio stations. Following the success of last year’s “Welcome to Maverick City” tour—which had four stops in Florida—the group behind “Wait On You” has tapped Kirk Franklin, a more experienced name in the field to co-headline during what appears to be its Tampa debut. If you attend, just do us a favor, and don’t be an asshole to the ushers, OK? It ain’t what Jesus taught ‘ya. Jonathan McReynolds opens.(MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa)

SUN 05

C EarthGang w/Mike Dimes Ghetto Gods, the latest from hip-hop duo Earthgang, focuses on how crappy these last few years have been, and how unbelievable it is that racism in general still exists, and is still being dealt with by those targeted. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg) Tampa Bay Lightning Game 3 Pregame Party: Logan Grant The cynics among you will say that bar bands are a dime a dozen. They haven’t seen Logan Grant. Together with his band, the Show Ponies—who’ll presumably back the Indiana-born songwriter at this pre-Game 3 Lightning gig—Grant’s big, Nashville-ready guitar playing and singing bellies his modest approach to the microphone. The tunes kick off at 1 p.m., and we’re hoping the Bolts are up 2-0 on the Rangers by the time they return to home ice. (Amalie Arena, Tampa)

TUE 07

The Gilmour Project No, David Gilmour is not touring intimate venues, and one of the music world’s biggest mysteries is if we’ll ever see him live again. But the Pink Floyd guitar legend’s sound is so inimitable and distinctive, it would be a sin to let it slip away while ex-Floyd members Roger Waters and Nick Mason do their own things on the road. In lieu of a new Gilmour tour, musicians that have recorded and toured with him—among other rock icons—stop at the

Cap with a lineup featuring Jeff Pevar, Kasim Sulton, and Mark Karan, just to name a few. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater) Jesse McCartney w/Jamie Miller/ Casey Baer Break out your “Kingdom Hearts” t-shirt, because the kid who voiced Roxas in the iconic video games is not stepping away from music anytime soon. Jesse McCartney—in no way related to the Beatle—released New Stage in October, his first album in seven years. In a recent interview, he blamed both his acting career, and a serious relationship with now-wife Katie Peterson for keeping him occupied. Now that he’s married and—as far as we know— doesn’t have any film roles in the works, Jesse is on the road promoting New Stage, including this gig, his first appearance in Tampa Bay since a 2009 show at The Ritz Ybor. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

THU 09

Unitcode:Machine w/Finite Automata/00tz 00tz Eric Kristoffer’s tastes are eclectic, and lots of those flavors come together under the Unitcode:Machine moniker where the Texas artist marries his love of EBM and synthpop together for a sound that’ll also please fans of Diversant:13 and Stars Crusaders. If you’ve not a clue about anything above, just go to The Castle this weekend; if what unfolds tickles your, you know, then maybe consider coming to this show. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

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Although you typically wouldn’t hear genres like shoegaze, hard rock and folk on a bill together, all sorts of Tampa Bay musicians will gather this month at Shuffle for a good cause. Ahead of the possible overturning of Roe vs. Wade, the bar and shuffleboard court at 2612 N Tampa St. will host a “Friends 4 Reproductive Rights” fundraiser show on Saturday, June 25. This gig runs from 6 p.m.-10 p.m. and will ask for a suggested $10 donation at the door. Proceeds benefit Tampa Bay Abortion Fund (TBAF). The eclectic lineup includes folky singer-songwriter Deb Ruby, hard rocking Tension Electric, Dan Padilla, singer and guitarist, along with Marc Ganancias, shoegaze band Knife Rituals, and Steve Tedesco.

also enjoy Shuffle’s indoor courts, a full service bar and late-night kitchen that dishes out tater tots, tacos, nachos, burgers, hot dogs and more. More details about this benefit gig can be found on its Facebook event page as the show nears closer. There are extensive details about abortion resources on the Tampa Bay Abortion Fund website, in addition to information about insurance, clinics and legislative updates. TBAF is a volunteer-run 501c3 nonprofit that relies solely on donations from the community, and has been providing its vital services throughout Tampa Bay since 2018.

In addition to the night of live music, there will also be a raffle and art auction to help raise more money for the TBAF. You can

Visit abortionfunds.org to learn more about the organization’s lifesaving work, and maybe make a donation while you’re at it. See Josh Bradley’s weekly new concert roundup below.—Kyla Fields

Big Sad w/Work Stress/Plake 64 Wednesday, June 8. 7:30 p.m. Free. If I Brewed The World, St. Petersburg

Edge of Reality Tour feat. JL B.Hood/ Roksta/The High Children/TBA Saturday, July 2. 7 p.m. $25. Pegasus Lounge, Tampa

Pet Rock w/Discord Theory/ Pandapaws/Kick Veronica Friday, June 10. 8 p.m. $12. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa

Wahh World Fusion Band Saturday, July 2. 8 p.m. $22-$34. Palladium at St. Petersburg College, St. Petersburg

Too Many Daves w/City Mouse/Tension Electric/No More Friday, June 17. 8 p.m. Suggested donation $5-$10. American Legion Post 111, Tampa Sick Talk w/Atomic Treehouse/Arcane Arcade/Scapeghost Friday, June 24. 8 p.m. $10. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa Dendrons w/Eyelid Cinema/TBA Friday, June 24. 8 p.m. $9-$12. Hooch and Hive, Tampa Jah Movement Saturday, June 25. 8 p.m. $15. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa Steve Miller Band Thursday, June 30. 8 p.m. $115 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

Born Of Osiris w/TBA Saturday, July 9. 6 p.m. $20. Orpheum, Tampa Stephen Marley Sunday, July 31. 7 p.m. $29.50. Jannus Live, St Petersburg Crywank & Chastity w/TBA Sunday, Aug. 14. 5 p.m. $17-$20. Crowbar, Ybor City Tauren Wells w/Aaron Cole/Lakewood Music Thursday, Oct. 6. 7 p.m. $15 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa The Garden w/TBA Wednesday, Oct. 12. 7 p.m. $25. Orpheum, Tampa Cimafunk w/TBA Friday, Oct. 14. 6:30 p.m. $25-$100. Cuban Club, Ybor City Celebrating Billy Joel Sunday, Nov. 13. 8 p.m. $35-$55. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

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Aftermath By Caroline DeBruhl

y sister is pregnant. By the time this article runs, she’ll be two weeks from her due date. She was the one that called me to tell me about the shooting in Uvalde. She was crying and worried about her daughter being killed in a mass shooting. It’s a fear that parents across this country have felt for decades and a fear that has, unfortunately, been realized by far too many families. In the two weeks between writing my last column and this one, there have been two mass shootings, which is devastating and horrific and commonplace. I thought about asking the cards what we, as a country, could do about this, but the answers are obvious and politically unpopular: it’s gun control laws, it’s banning weapons of war, it’s increasing mental health counseling, it’s re-evaluating campaign finance laws so groups like the NRA cannot choke out the opinion and will of the people. So instead, I asked: What do we do about the soul of America when it comes to guns? I drew five sets of two cards, set in a circle, to look at the progression from where we’re at to where we could go. The first set was The Lovers reversed and The Knight of Swords As a country, we love and value our image as the Good Guy with The Gun. We’re the rag-tag group

of farmers that overthrew the British Crown with muskets and then took the lion’s share of this continent through God’s Will and ammo. We’re the sheriffs that killed every outlaw in the streets at high noon. Some of the more zealous history textbooks even suggest that we’re the sole reason everyone in Europe isn’t speaking German. We love this romantic idea of the armed protector. It’s why gun rights activists lament that they, The Good Guys with The Guns, are the only thing stopping The Bad Guys as if we’re a nation made up of a million John Waynes. And it is this ego that is blocking us, with the Five of Swords reversed and Four of Swords The Five of Swords is a petty, self-serving, winning at all cost type of ego, leading to isolation and distrust. That’s why there is a conflict between “our individual right” to own guns and the need to remove that ego and see the situation for what it is (Four of Swords.) That rugged individualism is, for better or worse, one of the strongest parts of our cultural DNA, making it difficult to set aside ego. But we are a nation that is both unified in grief (Five of Cups reversed) and divided on action (Five of Wands reversed) I don’t believe that even staunch supporters of gun rights aren’t affected by the death of children; with the exception of sociopaths and true cynics, we

all are. But, the divide of what to do about it does feel like opposite sides of a war. It is an ideological bridge that we've faced multiple times and cannot cross. In good faith, people suggest we arm teachers, still believing that a Good Guy with A Gun is the only true answer, instead of banning weapons that allow The Bad Guy to commit what are essentially war crimes multiple times a year. But then, there is a hope that something will change. With The Star and The Empress, both reversed, there is a belief that some sort of epiphany will come The Star is a card that speaks about the harmony between the self, the imagination, and the world around us, a harmony that helps build the future. There is hope that we will have a reckoning between our ideal self, what we are, and what world we have created. It doesn’t surprise me that this is joined by The Empress, the card of the earthly mother. This debate is happening again (and again and again) because children were murdered and traumatized in two different mass shootings in 10 days. It is children, our literal future, that is driving our need to have harmony.

The final outcome is The Hierophant reversed and Ace of Cups The Hierophant represents many things—institutions, cultures, traditions, faith—and while that is the major arcana, I don’t think it’s as crucial as the Ace of Cups. The Ace of Cups is an agape type of love, supernatural and allencompassing. It is a love for the collective and our future selves. It is the antithesis of a lonely, petty existence, a love that builds an ideological bridge between two camps. Our culture isn’t big on loving the collective “We.” It doesn’t show up in how we decide public policies, and talking too much about it gets you labeled a pinko. But for a country that likes to refer to itself as “We, the people,” that idea isn’t totally out there. I don’t know what it would look like for our culture to decide to love our future. I can suggest voting and direct action and donating, but that’s not quite the whole picture. We have to decide to be the hero and save ourselves as a collective of individuals who do not agree about damn near anything. It’s a fine needle to thread. But I have to believe that we can figure out a way to do it because the alternative is annihilation. We have to believe in a future, we have to love ourselves and our children enough to guarantee a future. I don’t know how but there has to be a way. There has to.

ORACLE OF YBOR

I do think there can be a sea change. That might sound naïve, but it’s true. Despite how deeply gun culture is baked into the country, I think our romantic idea of being A Good Guy with A Gun has more to do with the “good guy” part and less about “the gun.” We want to be the hero; perhaps we just need to change what that looks like.

Send your questions to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram.

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cltampa.com | JUNE 2 - 8, 2022 | 51

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By Dan Savage

I’m a 31-year-old queer person living in Europe. I recently met a 46-year-old man. We were visiting the same city for work and met on an app and went on a series of amazing dates. We have a lot of similar interests and work in parallel fields. Now we’re planning a trip to see each other. It’s partly a work trip for him, but we will take a vacation together after the work part of the trip for him is over. To get to the point… he makes a lot more money than I do. He has offered to cover as much of the costs as he needs to. I feel like I’m out of my league here! I really like him and he seems to really like me but I’m struggling to fight feeling like this is a “Daddy and His Boy” situation. Do I need to fight that feeling or lean into it? It’s not a dynamic he said he wants. I don’t mind if we agree that’s what we are doing. But I don’t want to fall into a Daddy/Boy dynamic accidentally because of money and “status.” How do I date him like I would someone closer to my age and income?—Knowing Economic Position Tenuous

SAVAGE LOVE

If the Daddy/boy dynamic isn’t something you want (if it doesn’t turn you on and/or you worry it’ll make things weird), and it isn’t something he wants (assuming he didn’t just say that because he thought it was what you wanted to hear), then you definitely shouldn’t “lean into it.” Instead, you should handle the expense of this trip the same way committed couples with large income disparities split the rent. If you were making 50K a year and he was making 150K a year and you wanted to move in together but weren’t ready to merge your finances, you should pay a quarter of the rent and he would pay three quarters of the rent. Same should go for utilities, food, and other expenses. But you’re not moving in together, KEPT, you’re just going on a vacation, so things can be a little looser. If you can afford to fly coach and he wants to fly first class, he should cover the difference between coach and first-class fares. If he wants to cover the hotel (a major expense), you should cover meals—maybe not all of them, particularly if he wants to eat in fancy places, but enough of them that it will be clear to you, to him, to your waiter, and to the angels and saints watching from heaven that you aren’t a kept boy. (Nothing will make you feel less “kept” than pulling out your own credit card.) And the first part of the trip is for business and he would presumably be going with or without you, KEPT, you shouldn’t feel guilty about not paying for meals or the hotel on that leg—a hotel room he would be staying in with or without you, meals he would be putting on his expense account with or without you—but maybe treat him to a surprise excursion on that

I’m a single and kinky gay man, doing mainly vanilla dating at the moment. Recently, I got dumped by a guy because I fessed up to being kinky. I also told him I believe in God. I realize that might appear contradictory, but I don’t see why both can’t coexist. He told me he can’t date anyone who’s sexually deviant who also believes in “fairies at the bottom of the garden.” Both were equally problematic for him: my belief in God and my kinks. I wasn’t expecting to be both kink-shamed and God-shamed in the same breath. Are there such things as kinky Christians? Where can I find my tribe?—Frustrated About Insultingly Terminating Hookup One of the kinkiest guys I ever met—dungeon-in-his-basement kinky, flogyou-until-you-are-screaming kinky—was an episcopal priest. So yeah, FAITH, there are kinky Christians out there. But instead of sitting at home alone wondering where your tribe is, get out there and find your tribe. Get on kinky dating apps, go to leather/fetish events, date some non-vanilla guy, make some non-vanilla friends. If you find a welcoming tribe and it turns out you’re the only believer, so long as no one judges or shames you, FAITH, join that tribe. If you meet guys who have a problem with your faith, they don’t get to be a part of your tribe. As for the guy who called you a sexual deviant… what the hell does he think he is? Without deviation from the norm, there wouldn’t be “normal” gay guys for that asshole to date at all. Some of us may deviate more than others, FAITH, but that’s as true for gay people as it is for straight people.

JOE NEWTON

Expensed with

leg of the trip that you can afford. (Assuming either of you wants to leave your hotel room at this stage of your relationship.) The kind of disparities you describe—in ages, incomes, and the stages of your respective careers—are something almost all couples have faced—or in the case of income and career advancement, something most couples eventually face. But don’t spend too much time thinking about how you’re going to make this work over the long-term; you just met, you really liked each other, and you’re both willing to travel long distances to keep seeing each other. That should be your focus right now, KEPT. If he wasn’t comfortable covering most of the expenses, he wouldn’t have offered to do that. He could’ve spent his vacation time in the city where you live instead. Of course, there’s a chance it was a trick offer—he offered to cover the expense of the trip expecting you would turn it down—and he’s going to punish you in some passive-aggressive way for taking him up on it. If that happens, well, you can go back to dating boys closer to your age and tax bracket and/or well-off guys who don’t play games.

A man I very casually “dated” for ONE MONTH more than 15 YEARS AGO—a man I have maintained a friendship with ever since—tells his new girlfriends that I am his “ex-girlfriend.” This disclosure causes a lot of unnecessary awkwardness between whoever his current girlfriend might be and me. I’ve told him he shouldn’t do that because I was never officially his girlfriend. For 99.999% of the time I’ve known him, we’ve been friends, compared to the .001% of the time when we were very casually dating. He says he doesn’t want to lie?!? But it’s not a lie to say we are friends! I hate the awkwardness that it causes between me and the women he dates now. They never have a chance to get to know and trust me. Help me explain this to him so he finally gets it!—Never His Girlfriend He gets it, NHG. The awkwardness he’s creating between you and his girlfriend-ofthe-moment—the awkwardness you see as unnecessary and avoidable—is exactly what he wants. Introducing you as his ex makes things awkward with his current, and his current girlfriend’s intuitive sense that he’s either intentionally or thoughtlessly making things awkward makes him a less appealing partner. He doesn’t want a commitment or anything long-term, and instead of being honest about that, he’s weaponizing your existence to erect barriers between him and whoever he’s dating at the moment. He may not be doing it knowingly, but he’s doing it just the same, and it’s a shitty thing to do to a friend.

And the next time he does it, NHG, object and object loudly: “Don’t be ridiculous! I was NEVER your girlfriend!” Hey, Everybody: The Southern Baptist Convention, the largest protestant denomination in the United States, has always been terrible. It was founded in 1845 by supporters of slavery and the organization is racist to its core still. Leaders, churches, and preachers in the Southern Baptist Convention have also been the loudest anti-gay voices in the country for decades, and lately they’ve been loudly promoting the lie that gay and trans people—by simply existing—are somehow grooming children. Well, it turns out the groomers were in the building all along. In their buildings, in their megachurches, in their leadership—and they weren’t waving rainbow flags or reading from “Heather Has Two Mommies.” They were waving Confederate battle flags and reading from Leviticus. A blockbuster report released last week documents decades of sexual abuse committed by pastors and leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention. The same preachers who were accusing gays and lesbians of ‘coming for your kids’ were the ones coming for your kids. And in them. As with all power-obsessed social conservatives, as with all Trumpers (and the Southern Baptist Convention is now a Trump property), every accusation—of corruption, of rigged elections, of sexual abuse—is an admission of guilt. Send mail to questions@savagelove.net, listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast and follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter. Get columns, podcasts, books, merch and more at savage.love.

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