After a year away,
Pride celebrations return to Tampa Bay
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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf
We have to tell those stories and make sure there’s no going back.
FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman DAVE DECKER
CONTRIBUTORS Joe Newton, Stephanie Powers, Jennifer Ring, Cory Robinson, Dan Savage PRIDE GUIDE CONTRIBUTORS Nathan Bruemmer, Rachel Covello, Elliott James Darrow, Raffi Darrow, David Foote, Tiffany Freisberg, Tamara Leigh, Carey Mears, PJ Nowlan, Jake Nutting, SHINE, Angie Wegner
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MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS DIRECTOR Alexis Quinn Chamberlain Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40 Music Week ................................................... 42
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Music: Tampa Blues Fest ........................... Concert review:Bay Artic Monkeys ..........................40 42 COORDINATOR
Lauren Caplinger Music ................................................... 42 The ListWeek .......................................................... 46
Concert review: Artic Monkeys .......................... 42 Movie reviews ..................................................... 63
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Subpoena power wasn’t even mentioned in the ordinance.
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LOCAL NEWS POLITICS
ISSUES
OPINION
Board game
Tampa City Council approves review board change, mayor pushes back. By Ray Roa the ordinance earlier that day (council also voted 6-1 on a similar CRB change in February, only to get kickback from City Attorney Gina Grimes). When CL asked Castor how her immediate changes would affect the ordinance set for a second reading next month, the mayor replied that council could move forward, but that its ordinance would be ineffective, adding that, “They would have to design their own CRB, without the participation of the police.” Janelle McGregor, spokesperson for the mayor, cited a 2015 executive order from then-mayor Bob Buckhorn—who used that very order to create what many call today’s “toothless” review
RAY ROA
A
t its heated and at times messy May 20 meeting, Tampa City Council finally voted on an ordinance that would mark the first significant change to a Citizens Review Board (CRB) which activists have called a sham that was built to fail since its inception in 2015. The 5-2 vote—where Councilmen Luis Viera and Charlie Miranda voted no—followed a year of increased calls for police reform and accountability in the name of George Floyd. It also came after nearly a year of back and forth between the community, ACLU, NAACP, council, Mayor Jane Castor and the Police Benevolent Association (PBA, the union representing Tampa police officers) over what changes should and shouldn’t be made to the CRB. Changes included in the ordinance would, in part, let the CRB—a volunteer board tasked with overseeing complaints about potential misconduct by members of TPD—participate in the hiring process for new officers and give the board the ability to review closed internal investigations where both “no discipline was imposed” and “discipline other than suspension, demotion or termination was imposed.” The ordinance also calls for an assistant city attorney to serve as the legal advisor to the CRB. The changes would also alter the makeup of the board by giving council control over control over seven of the 11 appointments to the CRB, with the mayor getting four, including one reserved for a member of the NAACP. Currently, the mayor selects five members and the council four (with an additional two only used as alternates). The ordinance is set for a second reading on June 17, but Castor has been openly opposed to giving council a majority of the appointments on the CRB. So hours after council’s vote, Castor and Police Chief Brian Dugan—flanked by PBA President Darla Portman and union spokesperson Danny Alvarez—held their own press conference where Castor announced her own immediate changes to the CRB, including tweaks already listed in the ordinance voted on by council (interview panel, complaint filing and tracking and re-assignment of a city attorney to the CRB). In their press conference, Castor and Dugan cited police officers’ desire to get closure on what’s going to happen to the CRB as a reason for the sudden action, but closure is exactly what council voted to move towards when it voted 5-2 on
Spokesperson McGregor has yet to respond after being asked again about why Castor continued to mention subpoena power in her May 20 press conference (we’ll update this post online when she does). In a Monday text message to CL, Councilman John Dingfelder called the repeated mentions of subpoena power a “red herring.” While Dingfelder said it’s true that many folks in the community believe that it is important for a review board to have subpoena power, “The City Attorney told us 10 times that Council did not have the authority to include that in the ordinance. She said the only option was to let the voters decide that issue by referendum, so perhaps that will be Council’s direction next February, to let the citizens decide.” In a Monday press conference, Julius Adams, a Legal Panel member of the Greater Tampa Chapter of the ACLU of Florida, told CL and other report-
WHAT’SUBPOENA? Activists working on review board changes say the mayor’s latest comments are distractions. board—to justify Castor’s ability to executively and immediately make changes to the CRB. At their press conference, Castor and Dugan also continually mentioned opposition to subpoena power for the CRB. But subpoena power isn’t even mentioned in the ordinance council voted on last week. In fact, the only time subpoena power was even brought up during the May 20 meeting was in the context of a potential February workshop to figure out whether or not voters could vote on that issue in an election. And in a 95-Tweet thread posted over the weekend, James Shaw Jr., Legal Panel Chair of the ACLU of Florida, wrote that the only thing that’s being discussed in that workshop is whether or not voters can decide if the CRB should have its own truly independent attorney.
ers that he, too, was frustrated by the continued mention of subpoena powers despite them not being in the ordinance passed last week. Yvette Lewis, president of the NAACP’s Hillsborough Branch who gave several impassioned comments at Monday’s press conference, forcefully said talk of subpoena powers was a “diversion and distraction” from the big conversation about accountability for a police force authorized to to use force, surveillance and other tactics in its policing of the community. But still, local TV stations—without checking the mayor and chief on their comments about subpoena power in relation to the ordinance passed on May 20—beamed Castor and Dugan’s press conference into the eyeballs of Tampeños last week. Other outlets even ran with Castor’s unchecked
comments about subpoena power in stories recapping the NAACP’s Monday press conference. “In my honest opinion, it comes down to fear mongering and trying to create a problem where there’s not one,” Adams said of the distraction. “You have to think about why. Why is this so difficult? To have an independent CRB?” In a phone call with CL, Councilman Bill Carlson made clear that at this point, the only difference between the CRB proposals by the mayor and council is the makeup of the board. “All the conflict on Thursday was about the mayor getting one less [appointment] on the board,” he said. In one of his few comments during the May 20 city council meeting, Councilman Guido Maniscalco again reiterated that council was not talking about subpoena power, adding that council members are elected officials who’ve earned the public trust. He asked why councilmen should not be trusted to make sound selections for the CRB. “The city is not going to fall apart if we get a couple more appointments to this board,” Maniscalco said. Councilchair Orlando Gudes—a Tampa police officer for 26 years, who initially called for changes to the CRB last summer—responded to Maniscalco right away saying, “I can tell you what it is, Mr. Maniscalco. It’s power and fear.” But even with the changes set to get a second reading on June 17, the CRB still wouldn’t have power to discipline officers. At the end of the day, the CRB could only politely suggest what the chief should do with officers found to have acted negligently. Today’s Tampa is a city where the current mayor is a former police chief who in three years saw her officers write 2,504 bike tickets with 80% of the citations going to Black people. It’s the same city whose current police chief went on “Fox & Friends” to say a block party might have been an ambush despite neighbors saying they complained about the party previously. As ACLU volunteer Shaw said in public comment during the May 20 council meeting, folks looking for a stronger CRB don’t hate cops. They just want the community to be able to have some oversight on one of the most powerful entities in the city. But after a year of calling for change, it’s still not clear if the mayor will let the community have a bigger say in how it oversees its police department. “I know the public is hungry for change, and I know the police are hungry to move on, but at the end of the day, we have to make sure we satisfy everybody’s needs, so we can have a good CRB,” Gudes told CL on Tuesday. “It’s going to be interesting down the road.”
| MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2021 | 9
Get loud
The activist underpinnings of Pride. By Ray Roa think of it in the light of a pandemic—but it was the Act Up forces' willingness to lay themselves down on the line, to make a scene at St. Patrick's Cathedral, to do all kinds of inflammatory gestures that brought the pressure down on the drug companies to make treatments more available. How can activism play out now? DW: There’s a Trans Lives Matter movement, particularly because of the violence against trans women in this country. Those stories have to keep getting told. Parents of trans kids are coming out and talking about how this affects them. And you know there’s got to be legislators, just the way you’ve always known every single legislator, Republican, Democrat or otherwise has someone gay or bi or nonbinary these days in their families—so it’s got to be personal for them. That doesn’t necessarily mean that things will change because of that… but it does have to move from there, from the personal stories that gradually change people’s mind so there’s no going back.
NICHOLAS CARDELLO
F
or the better part of a decade, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay has worked in concert with St. Pete Pride on production and distribution of its event guide, and despite a pandemic that forced an all-out cancellation of Pride last year, CL and St. Pete Pride teamed up again in 2021 for a standalone guide on stands through the month of June. A majority of the pages you’re holding in this issue come from the work St. Pete Pride’s contributors did in that guide, but this interview with two men who I’ve admired since I met them is a separate piece. The Q&A is driven by the activism of David Warner, former Editor-In-Chief at CL and current EIC at Dupont Registry Tampa Bay and his husband, Larry Biddle, who’s currently chairman Community Foundation of Tampa Bay’s “Plus Project,” which raises money then sends grants to programs that support the LGBTQ+ community. When we caught up, the Florida GOP had just weaseled anti-trans legislation into law, so I asked David and Larry about activism then, now, and in the future. Read an abridged chat below and the full talk via cltampa.com/magazine.
Q&A
Progress has undoubtedly been made, but do you ever get that feeling, like “How are we still here and talking about these things?” Larry Biddle: All the time. You know, a few steps forward, then we’ll start moving back before we go forward again. It’s always been that way. Look at Act Up [AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power]. David Warner: It’s interesting to bring up Act Up because there were many who objected to their tactics. Act Up made it personal and very public. I don’t know whether there’s a way to fight back similarly against this latest attack on the part of the right against LGBTQ+ rights because that was in its time pretty revolutionary. The struggle to win equality was still relatively young then—Stonewall was ‘69, and this was the ‘80s and ‘90s when the AIDS pandemic was happening—gay politicos who were like, “This is so hard won, we don’t want to alienate people,” they have to admit now that Act Up made a huge difference. Act Up was controversial similar to the way Black Panthers ruffled a lot of feathers. DW: Yeah, and even among gay activists. Perhaps more so than now—and it's interesting to
10 | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2021 |
DeSantis thinks he has a shot at the White House with anti-Black, “anti-riot,” anti-gay policies. Can he be beaten? Even with all the voter suppression? DW: He can win a nomination. He can’t win an election. If they make it twice as hard to vote, we have to make it twice as urgent for people to get out and vote. All of us have to be vigilant about how we get our voices heard. Without having a Pride celebration last year, do you feel like there was a void within the LGBTQ+ community? LB: I think it made us more politically active because we realized we had so much at stake, more than ever before. And that’s a strange thing to say, but I actually feel like it’s probably true, because we’re all under this oppressive circumstance. We said enough is enough is enough of this jerk, and his lies. They use gay people as a weapon, and they use trans people as a weapon, etc. Even though we didn’t have Pride last year, I think it refocused us and reformed our way of thinking about waving flags, to saying let’s get politically together here and get the right stuff done. I personally think that this new format is better than what we had before. DW: I think there’s a lot to be said for what happens in a parade, particularly for those people who are new to the LGBTQ community.
MEET THE CHIEFS: Larry Biddle (L) and David Warner at CL’s Meet the Chefs in 2017. So much has changed for us, especially those of us who’ve been out for a long time and seeing how accepting the younger generation is and how things have changed in that level, but I think that it’s still not a given. It’s easy to forget that there are people not far from us who are closeted and scared and and need to believe that there’s hope for them and that there’s a way they can live their life out and happily. I still think there’s a need to express this kind of pride because there are still so many people who can’t feel proud.
All those things, and that was a gradual coming out process, I think, for a lot of us. I mean at first that whole idea of saying somebody was your husband was kind of quaint because there was no way we could ever call each other “husband.” Then when it became possible it was like, “Wow, that’s something to get used to,” and now it’s just a matter of fact. That’s sort of a metaphor for the whole process of coming out in your life I think.
“All of us have to be vigilant about how we get our voices heard.”
A lot of folks haven’t even been able to come out yet. DW: And you come out every day. You come out when Larry takes my arm or we’re going down a sidewalk in a place that isn’t necessarily a gayborhood or anything. You come out when you talk just in passing, to a cashier about your husband.
What do you say to the person who feels so energized by Pride that they want to be more of an activist? LB: Create viable services that are specifically addressing the needs of that community. Get rid of these jerks that are in state legislatures and governorships and so forth—we need to get those people out of office. We have to do both of the things simultaneously. I think the energy is definitely there for that. And I think COVID actually helped kind of concentrate that, more so than anything I've ever seen.
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The end of Roe
Women might soon find themselves at the mercy of men like Brett Kavanaugh. By Jeffrey C. Billman
14 | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2021 |
Of course, Mississippi’s law won’t be enough. Two days after the court took up “Dobbs,” Texas Gov. Greg Abbott signed a law that bans abortions after six weeks of pregnancy—before many women know they’re pregnant—and, absurdly, gives any random citizen the right to sue physicians or clinic workers who facilitate abortions. “This bill ensures the life of every unborn child with a heartbeat will be saved from the ravages of abortion,” Abbott tweeted along with a video of him signing the bill while surrounded
drunk, and miscarries would presumably be guilty of negligent homicide.) It doesn’t have to be a good argument. They have five zealots on the Supreme Court—a oncein-a-lifetime opportunity made more urgent by the speed with which religion is losing its grip on America. The only question is how far Brett Kavanaugh is willing to go in dictating what women can do with their bodies—and his commitment to female autonomy is debatable, to put it mildly. Actually, there’s another question, though we already know the answer. Senate Democrats could add two or four more justices to the Supreme Court, counteracting McConnell’s dirty pool. Congress could also pass a federal
INFORMED DISSENT
SHEALAH CRAIGHEAD
F
rom the second news of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death broke, this was the play. This was the reason Republicans muscled through Brett Kavanaugh despite the sexual misconduct allegations against him. It was why Mitch McConnell invented a rule to block Merrick Garland in 2016, abolished the judicial filibuster to install Neil Gorsuch, then ignored his own make-believe rule to install Amy Coney Barrett a week before the election. Not only did they have a conservative Supreme Court; they had a court packed with zealots, people for whom precedent and civil liberties were but bumps in the roads. John Roberts, the quintessential institutionalist who had twice saved the Affordable Care Act, would no longer be the fifth vote for a right-of-center court that cared about its reputation. The reactionary majority—the last three appointed by a president and confirmed by a Senate that never won the support of a majority of the population— doesn’t need him to impose its will and has little regard for the views of posterity. It seems likely that, a year from now, the Supreme Court will hand down a 5–4 ruling that obliterates “Roe v. Wade” and “Planned Parenthood v. Casey,” the two cases undergirding abortion rights. The case, “Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization,” focuses on a Mississippi law that bans abortion at 15 weeks of pregnancy. There’s no impetus for the court to take up Dobbs. It plainly violates both “Roe” and “Casey.” As the latter says, “Before viability, the State’s interests are not strong enough to support a prohibition of abortion or the imposition of a substantial obstacle to the woman’s effective right to elect the procedure.” Twenty-four weeks is considered viable. At 23 weeks, there’s a less than 50% chance of survival outside the womb; before then, about 95% of fetuses die, and those who survive are almost certain to have significant complications or long-term disabilities. Advancements in prenatal care have improved outcomes for very early preemies in recent decades, but a fetus that has gestated for 15 weeks is in no way, shape, or form viable. Because the case is so obvious, there’s no disagreement among lower courts; both the district and appellate courts have ruled against Mississippi. The only reason, then, the court agreed to hear arguments in “Dobbs” is that at least four justices are considering discarding “Roe” and “Casey.”
Once the Supreme Court gives “heartbeat bills” its blessing, you’ll see stories of workingclass women, often Black or Hispanic, bleeding out while terminating their own pregnancies. The Republican Party will shrug and say they brought it on themselves. Others who carry the fetus to term will spend the next 18 years struggling through a shredded welfare state with male politicians telling them they should have kept their legs shut. For those who can afford it, however, a flight to New Mexico or California is cheaper than a baby. There’s a subset of the “pro-life” crowd for whom such an outcome is perfectly acceptable: When their teenage daughter gets knocked up, that’s different. She’s got her future to look out
I’M YOUR MAN: ‘Roe’ is the reason Republicans muscled through Kavanaugh (L) despite the sexual misconduct allegations. by the pastiest crowd you’ve ever seen. Abbott might want to consult an obstetrician. Six-weekold embryos don’t have hearts, so they can’t have heartbeats. Doctors can detect rhythmic electrical activity from what will eventually become cardiac cells communicating with each other, but that’s it. Abbott’s the same guy who just declared local government and public school mask mandates illegal because—and I quote—“Texans, not gov’t, should decide their best health practices.” Exceptions apply, I guess.
for. Besides, what would the youth group think? But for the true believers, the ones who watch “The Handmaid’s Tale” for inspiration, not even Texas’s law will suffice. They want the court to not just reverse “Roe,” but impose a reverse-“Roe”: a court-ordered nationwide abortion ban. The thin-reed legal framework is that, just like Black people, nonviable clumps of cells are persons protected by the 14th Amendment, ergo abortion is murder. (A woman who doesn’t know she’s pregnant, gets
law safeguarding abortion rights—an uneasy constitutional prospect with an unfriendly Supreme Court, but there are workarounds. But both options require a commitment to women’s health, democracy, and eliminating the filibuster that Democrats don’t currently possess. So women might soon find themselves at the mercy of men like Abbott and Kavanaugh. That will be Mitch McConnell’s legacy. Get Informed Dissent direct to your inbox via billman.substack.com.
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DAVE DECKER
FRIDAY 21 In a memo to city council, St. Pete Mayor Rick Kriseman says he’s going to narrow finalists for Trop redevelopment down to two before the week is over. Lame duck, my ass.
JULIUS PEREIRA
Shit Happened
A Tampa man is selling his pandemic passion project, a 14-foot “Tampa Bay Lightning” boat painted Bolts blue and emblazoned with the names and numbers of players from last year’s Stanley Cup playing team. Father’s Day is coming up, people.
Celebrate Pride AT
SUNDAY 23 About five months after shots began, a report from the state department of health says more than 10 million people in Florida have received at least one dose of COVID-19 vaccine. As predicted, nobody’s 5G improved.
MONDAY 24 Florida will prematurely end federal unemployment benefits, forcing residents back into low-wage work—what are the shitty business owners going to complain about now?
TUESDAY 25 The vaccine site at Tampa’s greyhound track closes for good, along with three of the state’s four other mass vaxx sites. The leftovers will not be available at the pawn shop next door. Shit, everywhere, all the time, via cltampa.com/ news.
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GREETINGS TO EVERYONE PARTICIPATING IN ST PETE
PrideFest 2021! Nathan Bruemmer, Board President and acting ED Like so many other events, St Pete Pride looks a little different this year – and that is intentional. The coronavirus pandemic forced us to cancel our plans in 2020, and St Pete Pride chose to lean into the uniqueness of these unprecedented times by reimagining how we celebrate Pride. We started with the most pressing problem of how to safely hold an event that drew over 265,000 people in 2019. The safety and well-being of our guests, vendors, volunteers, and all of our neighbors in St. Petersburg must always be at the forefront of Pride events. We also recognized that 2020 also highlighted the resilience of protests around the globe, as citizens called out corruption, electoral manipulation, and police brutality. After witnessing and reflecting on the events of this past year, we embraced the belief that We All Rise Together, and are inspired to work towards a more inclusive Pride where the voices of Black, Brown and Trans communities are centered. We are proud to honor our LGBTQ+ community and provide an opportunity to connect and celebrate each other. Beginning with safety and public health concerns, it would be impossible to gather 200,000+ people downtown along the waterfront for our annual St Pete Pride Parade. Similarly, the Pride Festival in the Grand Central District could not be held safely for the 50,000+ people it usually draws. Yet we felt the loss of cancelation in 2020. How could we do this safely in 2021? We met with city officials and public health experts, reviewed the CDC guidelines, and creatively imagined how to spread people out over space and time in order to create a socially distanced Pride. PrideFest was born! This new format of four themed weeks in June with four outdoor
events spread over four Saturdays allows us to celebrate Pride while following pandemic guidelines and it allows our community partners to safely host dozens of other events as well! After reworking the logistics of time and space, we knew it was time to focus on healing our hearts. 2020 was a hard year. As we begin to come out of the pandemic, we grieve those lost to illness, violence, and despair. As we reflect on the protests that occurred in our back yard and all over the world, we remember that Pride, too, was born from rebellion. And as we embrace the ideal that We All Rise Together, we recognize that we must reach out and create new partnerships. Since pandemic guidelines state that we must limit the number of attendees, we are selling tickets for each event. We are using this new structure to develop new community partnerships by donating a portion of our ticket sales to several amazing local organizations. We encourage you to learn more about them and hope you will support them. We often refer to the social justice advocacy of Pride as “the work.” And it is most definitely work. However, St Pete Pride is honored to engage in this work and advocate for LGBGTQ+ people and for our community. As we move forward, St Pete Pride encourages others to join in our fight for equity. We encourage everyone to celebrate their Pride because we are strong, we are resilient, and We All Rise Together.
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Board of Directors, Executive Committee Nathan Bruemmer, Board President & Acting Executive Director (he/him) - Nathan currently serves as the Acting Executive Director and Board President of St Pete Pride. Born and raised in the Tampa Bay area, he has worked as a community organizer and advocate for over twenty years focusing on the needs of the most marginalized including LGBTQ+ youth, the transgender community, and those impacted by food and housing insecurity. Nathan is a passionate educator who enjoys providing training and technical assistance through a collaborative learning process. Nathan holds a Juris Doctor from Stetson University College of Law and a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration from University of South Florida. Tiffany Freisberg, Board Vice President & Marketing Committee Chair - Tiffany is the CoFounder and Creative Director of LionMaus Media, a creative advertising & social agency with Pride-supporting clients like Tampa General Hospital and Riverside Recovery. Originally from London, England, after a 10-year stint in Jupiter, FL Tiffany moved to St. Pete during Pride 2019 with her wife and three daughters, and proudly serves as VP with a focus on strategic communications, design, and storytelling. Tiffany has a B.A. in Literature and a Masters in Shakespeare from University College London. Stanley Solomons, Treasurer - Stanley joined the Board of St Pete Pride in the fall of 2008 as Promenade Chair. He served as Secretary, Co-Chair,
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Vice President, President and currently serves as Treasurer. He graduated from St Petersburg High School and the University of Alabama. He returned to St Pete in 2003 after having worked as a financial analyst for Credit Suisse in Zurich. Stanley is glad to be home. Molly Robison, Board Secretary & Operations Committee Chair - A fairly recent transplant to Florida, Molly moved from Colorado to Gulfport because she had enough of scraping car windows and shoveling snow! As a long time human rights advocate and proud LGBTQ parent, joining the St. Pete Pride Board was a great fit. Molly’s professional background is in non-profit administration, special event planning, and major gift solicitation . She brings experience, enthusiasm, and dedication to the St. Pete Pride Board. Currently, Molly works at EPIC (Empath Partners in Care) an HIV/AIDS services organization serving Hillsborough & Pinellas counties. Susan McGrath, Board Member - Susan devotes much of her work and personal time to issues of advocacy and to supporting pro-equality candidates. She serves as executive director for the Florida Consumer Action Network, an organization that advances progressive issues on behalf of Florida. She is past president of Pinellas Stonewall LGBT Caucus and Campaign Chair for a Florida LGBTQ+ Caucus. She has served on the St Pete Pride Board since 2015, and was an inaugural elected St Pete Pride Grand Marshal in 2014. She is a long-time member and Board of Director of King of Peace Metropolitan Community Church. She lives in her craftsman bungalow in Historic Kenwood with her two rescue pups, Lulu and Gracie.
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COVID-19 Protocols St Pete Pride has approval for limited spectator attendance at Pridefest; therefore, visitors must purchase advance tickets online, as limited capacity will be enforced. Currently, no tickets will be available for purchase the day of any of the official St Pete PrideFest 2021 events. Additionally, ALL events will operate under the City’s “Race to Safe” COVID-10 guidelines. Under these guidelines, St Pete Pride requires ALL attendees, vendors, volunteers, staff, and visitors to St Pete Pridefest 2021 to follow these approved guidelines: •
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We ask supporters, attendees, vendors, and volunteers to read and adhere to these procedures, self-monitor for symptoms of COVID-19, and conduct a CDC Coronavirus Self-Checker before you arrive.
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Anyone experiencing COVID-19 symptoms MUST stay home. According to the CDC, COVID-19 symptoms include fever or chills, cough, shortness of breath or difficulty breathing, fatigue, muscle or body aches, headache, loss of taste or smell, sore throat, congestion or runny nose, nausea or vomiting, and diarrhea.
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• •
Masks/facial coverings MUST be worn at all times and there is a “no mask, no entry” policy at ALL St Pete Pride events. A temperature check will be conducted, and a temperature greater than 100.4 will result in no entry. Social distancing MUST be followed at all times. Enhanced safety precautions MUST be followed at all official St Pete Pride events until further notice.
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Anyone who develops symptoms while at an event is advised to leave the event grounds immediately and contact St Pete Pride’s COVID-19 Event Safety Plan Manager at 727-342-0084. For additional COVID-19 pre-event information and questions, please send an email to covid19@stpetepride.com. Your patience and understanding is very much appreciated as we navigate these necessary steps together. Let’s all do this “The St. Pete Way.”
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Turning Points By Dr. Kanika Tomalin In 2003, Brian Longstreth and other activists organizing St. Pete’s inaugural Pride event sought history. The request: a proclamation, acknowledging and celebrating the contributions of St. Pete’s LGBTQ community. Rick Baker, Mayor at the time, refused to sign it. So Rick Kriseman, then a St. Petersburg City Council member, did. “I had no hesitation about signing it. I didn’t think twice about it,” he said. “The LGBTQ community was - and is - an important part of the fabric of St. Petersburg. To not recognize the role that community plays, I thought, was wrong.” Much more than a piece of parchment, that scroll of whereas clauses signed solely by the Council member from District 1 underscored the annual celebration as an integral keystone of our city’s cultural landscape. And, it lay claim to the dignity and respect every citizen seeks, and deserves, for a segment of our community too long and too often overlooked. It set in motion more than a decade-long evolution of inclusion and advocacy that has propelled St. Petersburg to the top of the list of America’s most welcoming communities; an accolade that would leave any progressive mayor proud, every progressive city pleased. But Kriseman didn’t do it for the legacy. More than seventeen years later, as he leads the same city, now as its highly-popular mayor closing in on the first half of the final year of his second term, he is very clear as to why he stepped up to sign St. Pete’s first Pride proclamation all those years ago. “It was the right thing to do.”
Turning Point Now, several times a year, St. Petersburg City Council Chambers fill with members of the
LGBTQ community coming to receive acknowledgement, support and gratitude for critical contributions that advance the City toward its goals. Every June, the Pride flag is raised over City Hall. St. Pete has earned a perfect score on the Municipal Equality Index every year since Kriseman was elected. LGBTQ liaisons work in high-profile positions in the Mayor’s Office and police department to ensure pathways to progress and safety are navigable realities. Partnerships with agencies and organizations with a mission of LGBTQ-inclusive service are funded and fostered by the City, and economic development that intentionally considers and elevates opportunities for St. Pete’s LGBTQ community thrives. “If creating a culture of inclusion is in fact my legacy, that makes me proud…but, I think it’s what everyone should do,” Kriseman said, in reflection. “I don’t look at it as though I’m doing something special. I just look at it as what should always be the case.” “Leadership starts at the top and you have to demonstrate it if you want others to follow. I’m certainly thrilled to see that we have become a city that is known for its diversity and inclusivity. It’s a big part of what has attracted people here. I hope I played a part in that. And, I hope always being very open and candid about it over the years has brought people along with me.” continued on page 26
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continued from page 25
Like “The Pied Piper of Hamelin” Rick Kriseman has brought people along with him on a journey where inclusion serves as an engine of actualization for his city’s highest aspirations. And, a key turning point in that journey and the city’s psyche began with Kriseman’s personal aspirations to ascend to the Mayor’s Office. In 2013, after six years in the Florida legislature, Kriseman tossed his hat in the ring to become the 53rd Mayor of Florida’s fourth-largest city. Lagging in the polls and armed with little more than optimism in what was shaping up to be a competitive race, Kriseman’s decision to march in the annual Pride Parade shifted a waning tide. He would be the first candidate for mayor to ever march - a glimpse into his intent, if elected, to represent every citizen of St. Pete. On foot, he and his handful of supporters turned onto 30th Street toward Central Avenue and walked into the waiting imaginations and expectations of a changing city ready for leadership that sees value in every person. The crowd erupted. “The energy was amazing,” Kriseman remembered, willing back welling tears that watered his eyes. “For the first time in the history of the city people saw someone running for Mayor who was leading on their issue - the things that they cared about the most. For the first time they saw someone who was aligning themselves with their community - and it was a turning point,” observes Kevin King, Kriseman’s long-time advisor and Chief of Policy and Public Engagement. It was a figurative and literal turning point - for the parade, for Kriseman’s campaign, for our City. Kriseman’s participation turned the page on a new chapter in St.Pete’s story and the whole community gathered, crowded on the curbs along the parade route, to help
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write it. “It felt like this was your town,” said King. It was a first signaling of the dawn of a new day where every voice, every truth, every dream matters. Thousands of people, ready to be seen and respected - a sea of smiling faces, high fives and clapping hands, saluting the man who was running for Mayor to recognize their worth. “It was powerful. The emotions. The energy from the crowd. It permeates still today. The first time we did the Trans March, a few years back, for instance… Every time we come together in unity around this important celebration, the energy from the crowd, it just carries me,” Kriseman said. “We’ve created a culture here,” he added. “I wanted a city where everybody felt welcome in every space. I didn’t want lip service. You can talk about creating opportunity and policies for everyone, including the LGBTQ community. But, if you aren’t putting processes in place to ensure that those things actually are happening, then its just lip service.” “We set the tone right from the beginning with our vision - our mantra - I share it everywhere I go. And, I work with people who are equally committed. It’s not just me. It’s all of us. You’ve got to ingrain in people’s minds our goal of being a City of Opportunity - certainly inclusive of the LGBTQ community - over and over again. And, then work on it, every day, until it becomes the truth.” Dr. Kanika Tomalin is the Deputy Mayor and City Administrator of St. Petersburg, Florida.
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Interview with Suzie Dorner By Tiffany Freisberg Suzie Dorner, a Tampa General Hospital COVID ICU nurse manager, was named an honorary Super Bowl captain. She was invited to participate in the ceremonial coin toss as the second-ever female coin flipper in Super Bowl history. Her girlfriend Melanie accompanied her to the game.
Q. How did COVID change your day-to-day job? A. COVID turned all of our lives upside down and changed healthcare. One minute, I was the nurse manager of the MICU (medical intensive care unit), and the next thing I knew, I was leading my team through a global pandemic. I worked with executives and leaders to advocate for the needs of my team, create new policies, and transform how we deliver nursing care. My team went through an emotional rollercoaster, and I had to be there to hear them, support them, and educate them so they were armored to care for our patients. Q. How did COVID affect you personally?
A. COVID took a toll on all of us. As a healthcare worker, I maintained a somewhat normal routine by continuing to go to work everyday. However, we all missed out on normal life events such as birthdays, weddings, traveling, family gatherings, and the like. As patients took their last breaths, my team was there holding their hands and FaceTiming their loved ones as they said their final goodbyes. That was very difficult and hit home for me as I lost both of my grandmothers during the pandemic. While they did not have COVID, no one from my family was able to be there with them. The facilities they were in did not have the capability to facilitate FaceTime, but I know they were in the hands of exceptional continued on page 31
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nurses. After losing my grandmothers, I made sure that my team had enough support and technology to be able to FaceTime so families could see their loved ones and say their goodbyes. Q. What was the first thing you felt when you heard you’d been selected to flip the coin at the Super Bowl? A. I was in utter disbelief! I’m just a kid from Akron, Ohio managing a COVID unit. How in the world did I get selected to represent all of healthcare in such a monumental event?!? Once it sunk in, I was beyond humbled and honored! Q. When did you first know you were gay? A. When I was 25, I went on vacation to Jamaica with my best friend. I realized I had feelings for a woman, and I came out to him on a boat in the middle of the ocean. He confessed to me that he had feelings for men. At the time, it was the most relieving, exhilarating, and freeing moment of my life! Q. Were you out to your colleagues before the Super Bowl, and do you feel accepted? A. My team and my colleagues who know me know that I am gay. Tampa General Hospital is a very diverse and inclusive organization (it’s actually where I met my girlfriend!). I have never felt discriminated against or like I do not fit in! Q. What made you decide to wear a Pride bracelet to flip the coin?
A. As you can imagine, selecting an outfit for this event was very stressful! I knew that I wanted to represent the LGBTQ+ community but I wanted to do it subtly. I browsed shoes that had rainbows but nothing was “speaking to me.” Right before I was about to leave for the game, I went to grab something out of my car and the bracelet was right there. I knew it was the perfect addition to my outfit and I am so glad that I wore that bracelet! Q. Have you been to St Pete Pride before? What are you looking forward to most about Pride this year? A. I’ve been to almost every Pride since moving to Tampa! It is an event that I look forward to every year! The thing I love most is feeling and seeing the love, pride, and inclusivity. I know this year isn’t going to be the same, but I think the St Pete Pride leadership team has done a phenomenal job planning a month of safe and exciting events!
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Returning to Pride By Carey Mears “The only way to be emotionally in a place is not to be there physically.” So muses Jorge Luis Borges in a recorded conversation for Radio Municipal in 1985. After considering a list of literary sons who’ve set novels in their homelands as expats, he speculates that we can only access the true spirit of a place through our memories. Having spent a year living (mostly) within our minds, aimlessly scrolling through old photos, dreaming about the places we’d like to return to, might we agree? Had you ever felt as emotionally connected to a movie theater as you did from your couch, trapped in streaming purgatory? Pride, I think, is evidence to the contrary. Occupying a physical space filled with LGBTQ+ people is precisely what allows an LGTBQ+ person to feel the fullness of their emotions - just ask any LGBTQ+ person what their first Pride experience was like. Sure, finding community on the internet can be sustaining in the same way that an afternoon protein bar can carry you to dinner (and, indeed, it’s the only option that many people have for a variety of reasons), but for most in the LGBTQ+ community, there is no substitute for the wave of relief, excitement, and joy that crests and falls upon their turning the corner and catching the first sights and sounds of Pride. For the first time in two years, Pride returns to the city and brings with it significant structural change. June’s 2021 Pride season will take the form of PrideFest, an impressive month-long celebration combining smaller, partnered events with large-scale signature events happening each weekend. Prepare to occupy LGTBQ+ spaces physically and emotionally as often as your stamina and schedule allow. Veteran Pridegoers may feel an initial twinge of disappointment upon learning that the parade is not slated for June. (Discussions about when and how to reintroduce the parade are ongoing.) However, there are two things worth considering on this
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front: first, that we are not yet out of the woods, and special COVID-19 regulations –including limits on crowd size– must be met throughout June (advance registration is required to attend any of the PrideFest events, for example); second, that the PrideFest concept may be uniquely suited to reintroduce Pride in the wake of a pandemic and two-year hiatus. A prototypical Pride it is not. So, what is it about PrideFest that befits this long-awaited homecoming? 1. Lasts the entire month of June. Okay, this one is perhaps the most obvious, but it doesn’t make the prospect of having a month’s worth of Pride activities any less exciting.
How better to end a Pride drought than with four consecutive Pride weeks? This year, set a goal of attending a couple of events each week. Meet new people and make plans to meet up throughout the month. Take the time to meaningfully engage with the community simply because there’s ample time to do it, and see where it takes you. Regardless of how you design your PrideFest experience, you’ll get to enjoy a sense of renewed energy pervading St. Pete all month long as it welcomes back a tradition that is central to its identity. We are emerging from a prolonged period of collective grief, and meeting this moment with a prolonged period of celebration seems a fitting way to transition into what comes next for us and for our city. 2. Choose your own adventure. In the midst of this transition, people are reentering the world at staggered, individual rates. Masks and social distancing will be required throughout PrideFest, but a person’s ability to participate may vary by event or evolve throughout the month. Having a diverse and lengthy calendar of activities will allow you to create a personalized Pride agenda based on your comfort level or ability to socialize in addition to your interests and schedule. You need not worry about missing one of the signature events, thereby postponing your celebration another year. Inclusion is a core principle of Pride, and PrideFest’s structure seems to minimize barriers to entry by providing a number of ways to safely participate. 3. Try new things. How many times have you flipped through an issue of Creative Loafing, spotted an upcoming event that interested you, and allowed yourself to forget about it or talked yourself out of going? PrideFest is not only an opportunity to return to something we’ve been without; it can be a time to begin shaping the post-pandemic versions of ourselves. Make June the month that you try new things for the sake of trying them. Partnered events held during the week may occur outside
of PrideFest on a routine basis. Let PrideFest be your excuse to attend for the first time, knowing that others will be doing the same. Over the weekends, there will be new venues to see and reimagined ways to gather and experience Pride during the signature events. Pride season, pandemic or not, is about building community and knowing that you belong no matter who you are or where you go. Take advantage. Go forth. 4. Be intentional. PrideFest is many things: a roadmap, a reunion, a party. It can also be a blank canvas, a time to take your personal reflections from the pandemic and begin putting them into practice. Are there things you said you wanted to make more time for, to explore, to get involved with? Did you want to spend more time outdoors, get better about making plans with people you haven’t seen in a while, attend more concerts and art exhibits? Whatever the case, PrideFest –with its wide-ranging list of offerings– seems a great place to start. This June, take the things that you learned were most important to you during the pandemic, and find opportunities to live them out during PrideFest. There has always been something inspiring and affirming about how loudly the City of St. Pete celebrates diversity relative to its size. PrideFest’s events may host fewer attendees, but following a year of loss, isolation, and a recent slew of anti-trans legislation in this state and others, there’s good reason to believe that this year’s Pride will reach farther and be felt more deeply than in years preceding it.
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Throughout the month of June, St Pete Pride will host 4 themed weeks to celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community while showcasing the best of St. Pete. Each weekend, thousands of people will (safely) gather for signature events hosted in outdoor locations, while all month long, over a hundred participating St. Pete restaurants, cultural institutions and retail partners will attract guests with events, discounts and Pride-friendly offerings.
St Pete Pride has worked diligently to design a creative and safe Pride with a twist with the goal of giving our LGBTQIA+ community the opportunity to gather, educate and celebrate while ensuring safety and wellness in the time of COVID-19. This year most events will be ticketed to enforce capacity regulations.
Learn more about our COVID safety measures by visiting www.StPetePride.org/COVID 36 | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2021 |
The Events PrideFest Kickoff Reception - Thurs, June 3 Sirata Beach Resort, 5300 Gulf Blvd, St. Pete Beach. 6-9pm. $10/ticket. Kick-off Celebration, sunset, beach vibe, limited free apps, drink specials! PrideFest Stonewall Reception - Fri, June 25 The James Museum, 150 Central Ave, St. Pete. 6pm - 8pm. $40/ticket. The Stonewall Reception is our annual must-attend event for sponsors, VIPs, and friends. Tickets include hors d’oeuvres, open bar, and museum access.
Outdoor Adventure Week Signature Event: Pride OUTside - Sat, June 5 Vinoy Park. 7am-2pm. $5/ticket. Anchored in Vinoy Park, join us for waterfront live music, local vendors and interactive experiences. Participate in a yoga class, or sit back and enjoy a variety of roaming entertainers! Plus, join us for our Pride Run St Pete: 5K and Diva Dash from 7-10am! (Runners must pre-register).
Family Week Signature Event: We Are Family - Sat, June 12 St. Pete Pier, North Straub Park, South Straub Park. 11am - 5pm. $5/ticket. Join us for a gathering of LGBTQ+ families and allies on the beautiful downtown St. Pete waterfront in North and South Straub Parks and The St Pete Pier! Enjoy family focused vendors, entertainment and activities in this first-of-its-kind Pride event as we celebrate the family culture of St. Pete and beyond.
Arts & Music Week PRESENTED BY AIDS HEALTHCARE FOUNDATION Signature Event: Arts + Qulture - Sat, June 19 The Factory, 2622 Fairfield Ave S, St. Pete. 4pm - 10pm. $5/ticket. Stroll the grounds of The Factory, a new 8-acre, mixed-use space in the Warehouse Arts District. Soak in music, art and dance around every corner. To honor Juneteenth, the program will include a celebration of Black, Queer culture.
Taste of PrideFest Week
PRESENTED BY DOORDASH
Signature Event: Pride Picnic + Fireworks by Trulieve - Sat, June 26 North Straub Park, South Straub Park. 2pm - 9pm. $5/ticket. Food trucks, festival vendors, and Pride Fireworks by Trulieve at dusk (~9pm)! PrideFest’s final event will invite visitors to spend an evening along the beautiful bayside waterfront, enjoying picnics, musical performances, and a fireworks display that will cap off PrideFest in dramatic fashion. | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2021 | 37
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The Grand Central District By David Foote The motto in the Grand Central District is “This is where the locals go.” It is bordered by the two distinct and unique neighborhoods of Palmetto Park and Historic Kenwood, whose residents are not only the District’s neighbors but also its collaborators, shaping the artistic and economic growth of the District. The Grand Central District has provided a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community for over two decades and was instrumental in creating one of the largest celebrations of the LGBTQ+ community in the southeastern United States, the St Pete Pride Parade. With more than 80 LGBTQ+ owned and/or managed companies in the District, the area boasts one of the highest concentrations of such businesses in the country. The Grand Central District is home to more than 350 locally owned and operated independent businesses, spanning between 16th and 31st Streets and 1st Avenue North, Central Avenue, and 1st Avenue South. It is a designated and accredited Main Street by the National Trust for Historic Preservation and a member of the Florida Main Street program. The Grand Central District is the longest-tenured Main Street District in St. Petersburg and recently celebrated its 20-year anniversary. One of the primary directives of the Main Street program is economic revitalization and repurposing of existing structures, and the Grand Central District has taken this concept to another level. After suffering a drastic economic decline in the 1980s, it has become a thriving community full of interesting shops, arts and
craft studios, professional and personal services, health and wellness providers, local breweries, and a variety of restaurants and bars. Long-time businesses have also seen great improvements and are benefiting from the efforts made in the Grand Central District. Art studios and galleries are visible throughout the Grand Central District. The arts community is woven into the fabric of the District, which is home to several of the impressive building murals that have become part of the St. Petersburg culture. The District is pedestrian- and bicycle-friendly and has electric vehicle chargers, rental bicycles and scooters. It is also easily accessible through the city’s public transportation system. As the city continues to reinvent itself, the District will provide a home, an entrepreneurial enclave, and creative space for interesting people with imaginative ideas and dreams. Whether you want to come for an hour or for a day, the Grand Central District has something for you.
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Know Your Pride Flags LGBTQ/Gay
The iconic rainbow pride flag was designed by Gilbert Baker for the 1978 San Francisco Gay Freedom Day celebration. He wanted the flag to be a symbol of hope and liberation, and an alternative to the symbolism of the pink triangle. In the original eight-color version, pink stood for sexuality, red for life, orange for healing, yellow for the sun, green for nature, turquoise for art, indigo for harmony, and violet for spirit.
The agender pride flag, created by Salem X in 2014, has seven horizontal stripes. The black and white stripes represent an absence of gender, the gray represents semi-genderlessness, and the central green stripe represents nonbinary genders. The aromantic pride flag consists of five horizontal stripes: green, light green, white, gray, and black. In this order, the stripes represent aromanticism, the aromantic spectrum, aesthetic attraction, gray-aromantic and demiromantic people, and the sexuality spectrum.
Agender
Aromantic The bisexual pride flag, designed by Michael Page, was first unveiled on December 5, 1998. Its aim was to represent and increase visibility of bisexuals in the LGBT community and society as a whole. This rectangular flag consists of a broad magenta stripe at the top, a broad blue stripe at the bottom, and a narrower, deep lavender band occupying the central fifth. Page stated, “The pink color represents sexual attraction to the same sex only (gay and lesbian). The blue represents sexual attraction to the opposite sex only (straight) and the resultant overlap color purple represents sexual attraction to both sexes (bi).”
Bisexual
The asexual pride flag was created in 2010 by an Asexual Visibility and Education Network user. It consists of four horizontal stripes; the black stripe represents asexuality, the gray stripe represents gray-asexuals and demisexuals, the white stripe represents allies, and the purple stripe represents community.
Asexual The term demisexuality was coined in 2008 by Asexual Visibility and Education Network. The prefix “demi” is derived from the Latin term dimidium meaning “divided in half.” The term demisexual refers to being halfway between sexual and asexual. A demisexual person is someone who can only experience sexual attraction or desire after an emotional bond has been formed. In the demisexual flag, the black chevron represents asexuality, gray represents gray asexuality and demisexuality, white represents sexuality, and purple represents community.
Demisexual
JJ Poole created the genderfluid pride flag in 2012. It has five horizontal stripes: pink for femininity, blue for masculinity, purple for both masculinity and femininity, black for lack of gender, and white for all genders.
Genderfluid
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Genderqueer
Marilyn Roxie, a genderqueer writer and advocate, created the genderqueer pride flag in 2011. The lavender stripe is a mix of blue and pink—colors traditionally associated with men and women—and represents androgyny as well as queer identities. The white stripe, like in the transgender pride flag, represent agender or gender-neutral identities. The chartreuse stripe is the inverse of lavender and represents third gender identities and identities outside the gender binary.
The intersex flag was created in July 2013 by Morgan Carpenter of Intersex Human Rights Australia. Interex people do not exhibit all the biological characteristics of male or female, or they exhibit a combination of male and female characteristics, at birth. The purple circle symbolizes wholeness and completeness and is a reference to the intersex community’s fight for bodily autonomy and integrity.
Lesbian (labrys design)
Intersex
The labrys lesbian flag was created in 1999 by graphic designer Sean Campbell, and published in June 2000 in the Palm Springs edition of the Gay and Lesbian Times Pride issue. The design involves a labrys, a type of double-headed axe, superimposed on the downward-pointing black triangle, set against a violet background. The labrys was associated with the mythological Amazons and was adopted as a symbol of empowerment by the lesbian feminist community in the 1970s. The black triangle is a reference to the downward-pointing black triangle lesbians were made to wear in Nazi Germany. The color violet is associated with lesbians due to the poetry of Sappho.
This version of the lesbian flag is a derivative of an earlier “lipstick lesbian” flag that had shades of pink with a red lipstick mark. It was introduced on Tumblr in 2018, with the color dark orange representing gender nonconformity, orange for independence, light orange for community, white for unique relationships to womanhood, pink for serenity and peace, dusty pink for love and sex, and dark rose for femininity.
Lesbian
Kye Rowan created the non-binary flag in 2014. Each stripe’s color represents a different type of non-binary identity: yellow for people who identify outside of the gender binary, white for non-binary people with multiple genders, purple for those with a mixture of both male and female genders, and black for agender individuals.
Non-binary
The pansexual pride flag was introduced in October 2010 in a Tumblr blog. It has three horizontal stripes: the pink represents attraction to women, the blue represents attraction to men, and the yellow represents attraction to everyone else, such as non-binary, agender, bigender, or genderfluid people.
Pansexual
The colors and design of the polysexual flag are based on the pansexual and bisexual pride flags, borrowing the pink and blue stripes and replacing the yellow and purple stripes with a single green stripe. Polysexuality is a self-identifying term that is somewhat amorphous. Polysexual Polysexual identity is often related to gender identity and is used by some people who identify outside the gender binary. People who refer to themselves as polysexual may be attracted to third gender people, two-spirit people, genderqueer people, or people who are intersex. Polysexuality can be the exclusive attraction towards non-binary genders or sexes, or polysexual people l may be attracted to one or both binary genders or sexes. A transgender woman, Monica Helms, designed the transgender pride flag in 1999. The flag represents the transgender community and consists of five horizontal stripes: two light blue, two pink, with a white stripe in the center. Helms described the meaning of the flag as follows: “The stripes at the top and bottom are light blue, the traditional color for baby boys. The stripes Transgender next to them are pink, the traditional color for baby girls. The stripe in the middle is white, for those who are intersex, transitioning or consider themselves having a neutral or undefined gender. The pattern is such that no matter which way you fly it, it is always correct, signifying us finding correctness in our lives.”
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What Is Pride? By Tamara Leigh Famed abolitionist Frederick Douglass delivered a speech in my hometown of Rochester, NY on July 5th, 1852 called “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?” It discussed the dramatic irony of celebrating freedom while millions of Black Americans remained enslaved and brutalized. I often consider it when I consider Pride. Pride is widely looked at as a celebration of freedom, authenticity, and acceptance. In the Intersectionality of being Queer and Black in America, those concepts are rarely fully realized within the QTPOC community. One would imagine that marginalized communities would have learned through their own oppression how to uplift other marginalized groups amongst them. The all too unfortunate reality is that racism is alive and well in the LGBTQ+ community, just as it is woven through the fabric of American culture. Pride was in fact never a party. The first Pride was a riot. On a hot summer night in 1969, a collection of Black and Brown Trans folks and throw-away youth in the streets of NYC refused another night of being arrested, beaten, and harassed by the NYPD. After a raid of the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village, they said “no more” and ignited a revolution that would birth the LGBTQ Rights Movement and change the lives of the LGBTQ community around the world. Over time, that riot turned into a march, that march into a parade, and that fight of the most marginalized into
a white-washed party that left behind the folks who put their bodies on the line to begin the revolution. LGBTQ freedoms became fighting for marriage equality while a selection of the community (“continued to fight” - unless you mean globally and not the 2015 era in the US) for life. What is Pride? In 2021 (2020?), at least 44 trans and gender non-conforming individuals were murdered in this country and 95% of them were Black and Brown. Already in 2021, at least 15 people have been lost. The “at least’’ serves to illustrate that many of these senseless murders will be of folks who are misnamed, misgendered, and thrown away by law enforcement, our communities, and the media. Pride will always be a celebration of triumph and of our love. It is SO important to remember and recognize how far we’ve come. It is also an opportune time to remember whose fight afforded us those rights and who among us are still fighting for their freedom, authenticity, and acceptance as we celebrate our own. The fight for LGBTQ+ rights is also a fight for Black Lives, for women’s rights, for immigrants’ Rights, to Stop Asian Hate and to keep our Trans siblings safe, housed, employed, and empowered. If you have never been to a Pride, the love is overwhelmingly beautiful. There is something so incredible about standing in community, unafraid and expressing every ounce of your love and authenticity. This year, however, I ask you to take a purposeful moment to remember Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson, Storme DeLarverie, and the countless unnamed Black and Brown folks who fought for our Pride, and the individuals who are still fighting for the freedom to love and be who they are, even today. I am proud to count myself as one of them.
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Pride Perseveres!
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Together We Rise By PJ Nowlan St Pete Pride is honored to collaborate with the Dr. Carter G. Woodson African American Museum this year. We are proud to announce the Woodson Museum will be a beneficiary of 20% of ticket sales from our “Arts & Qulture” event. The Woodson Museum and St Pete Pride share a belief that “Together We Rise” and are working purposefully to ensure that we build community partners to elevate all members of the African American and LGBTQ+ communities.
In selecting the Woodson Museum as one of this year’s beneficiaries, St Pete Pride considered the organizations’ cohesive Mission Statements and shared dedication to unity and equity. Specifically, the Woodson Museum states, “The mission of the Dr. Carter G. Woodson African American Museum is twofold: 1) To preserve, present, and interpret African American history and to engage a broad and diverse audience through these activities. 2) To promote an understanding among various groups that comprise the St. Petersburg community to enhance our ability as a society to respect, value diversity, and foster equal rights and social justice.” Similarly, St Pete Pride’s commitment to equity was created out of a desire to ensure a safe space for all people of the LGBTQIA+ community of
Tampa Bay, to celebrate unity and the many things that make us similar. We value and respect diversity in its many forms: race, ethnicity, ability, class, faith, age, gender identity, sexual orientation and experience. We honor the visible and invisible qualities that make each of us who we are. We center Black, Brown and Trans voices that so often go unheard because we know Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion are the ultimate acts of PRIDE. We are intentionally leaning deeper into our commitment to celebrate and promote respect for the many intersections of the human experience. If you also believe that “Together We Rise,” there are many opportunities to get involved or make a donation. Much more information can be found and donations can be made online at woodsonmuseum.org.
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By Rachel Covello at OutCoast.com St. Petersburg, otherwise known as St. Pete or “The Burg” by locals, is one of Florida’s top destinations for fun, sun, culture, art, food, and sunshine. The City lives up to its nickname “The Sunshine City” most days, and for the rare day when the weather doesn’t cooperate, there are plenty of indoor activities to enjoy.
How Gay is St. Pete?
The Tampa Bay region, in general, is very LGBTQinclusive. But St. Pete takes the “rainbow cake” as the gayest side of the bay. St. Petersburg is home to a very large, and growing, LGBTQ community. For LGBTQ locals, St. Pete offers a laid-back vibe with tons to do and several places to connect with other like-minded LGBTQ people. St. Pete has long been known for attracting gay and lesbian retirees, but there is a younger and more diverse crowd moving here daily, including a growing transgender and nonbinary population.
owners proudly display pride flags and trans flags. It is here you can also find world-class museums, restaurants, a municipal airport, and ferry service to nearby Tampa.
Central Avenue Central Avenue spans the peninsula from the Bay on the east to the Gulf on the west. This retail and entertainment corridor includes dozens of restaurants, clubs, breweries, shops, and more.
St. Pete Area Gayborhoods
The two LGBTQ hubs on Central are the Grand Central District (31st Street to 16th Street) and the Edge District (16th Street to MLK/9th Street).
Downtown St Pete
Make sure to visit the Metro Inclusive LGBTQ Welcome Center.
St. Pete is home to numerous diverse neighborhoods and districts.
St. Pete’s downtown area is home to many LGBTQ people. Throughout the year, business continued on page 50
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Photo by Rachel Covello,OutCoast.com
St. Petersburg The Sunshine City
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continued from page 48
Photo by Rachel Covello,OutCoast.com
Gulfport Head southwest of St. Pete to the nearby charming and quirky town of Gulfport. Anything goes in this waterfront town where the motto is “If it’s too weird for Gulfport, it’s too weird.” Gulfport is an artsy enclave offering visitors a funky, beachy vibe. Gulfport is also home to an award-winning LGBTQ Resource Center and hosts its own pride celebration at the end of May.
Pass-A-Grille, the southernmost tip of St. Pete Beach, is home to a growing LGBTQ popouation, especially for ladies! This beach even has a lesbian-owned botique hotel. On a weekly basis, the ladies gather for Wine Down Wednesdays, beach yoga, and Friday shuffleboard. The Hurricane is also a popular spot for LGTBQ “gaytherings.” And the regional Gay 5K has been hosted along this beach for several years.
St Pete Beaches While the crystal sand St. Pete area beaches don’t specifically have a gayborhood, all are welcoming and inclusive. Still, one is worth mentioning.
Where to stay in and around St. Pete All of the listed lodgings in our Saint Pete Gay Travel Guide are LGBTQ friendly.
Hotels & Resorts Bilmar Beach Resort 106500 Gulf Boulevard, Treasure Island Choose from gulf-front rooms, or studio apartments – all feature comfy pillow-top beds and amenities. When it comes to activities, enjoy the private beach, try out various water sports, or go for a dip in one of the properties heated pools. Coconut Inn 113 11th Avenue, Pass-A-Grille This lesbian-owned boutique property offers 11 units, including studios, and one and two-bedroom options. Take a dip in the sparkling blue pool or stroll just 150 steps to the Gulf! Enjoy amenities like complimentary beach chairs, umbrellas, bicycles, beach towels, and more.
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Sirata Beach Resort 5300 Gulf Boulevard, St. Pete Beach Enjoy a variety of spacious and comfortable guest rooms facing the beautiful white sands and the Gulf of Mexico. At day’s end sip along with the Sunset Spirits Reception as you relax at Rum Runner’s Tiki Bar. The Hollander Hotel 421 4th Avenue North, St. Petersburg This charming vintage property, updated with all the modern comforts in the heart of downtown St. Pete, offers a variety of room types, including suites, and some with balconies overlooking the oasis-like swimming pool and sun deck. The Avalon Hotel 443 4th Avenue North, St. Petersburg Art Deco meets mid-century mod at the Hollander’s sister property. Comfort and style
come together in this updated historic property. Avalon guests also enjoy all the amenities of the Hollander next door, including free parking and shuttle service around town. Postcard Inn 6300 Gulf Boulevard, St Pete Beach, FL 33706 Choose from 196 modern rooms with creative beachy, vintage-inspired vibe artwork and comfort. Relax in the gardens or float in the largest heated pool on St. Pete Beach.
What to do in and around St. Pete There is so much to do in St. Pete. Many of these businesses have hosted events for or support regional and statewide LGBTQ organizations.
Arts & Culture Morean Arts Center Multiple locations throughout St. Petersburg Morean Arts Center Main Building 719 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg Chihuly Collection 720 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg Morean Center for Clay 420 22nd Street South, St. Petersburg The Dali Museum 1 Dali Boulevard, St. Petersburg The Imagine Museum of Contemporary Glass Art 1901 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg The James Museum of Western & Wildlife Art 150 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg Museum of Fine Arts 255 Beach Drive, St. Petersburg The Factory 2622 Fairfield Avenue South, St. Petersburg
Gay St. Pete Guest House 4505 5th Avenue North, St. Petersburg St. Pete’s only clothing-optional, dedicated gay bed and breakfast offers a casual tropical vibe in a central location. FabStayz® Vacation Rentals fabstayz.com This LGBTQ-friendly vacation rental service specializes in inclusive accommodations. All property hosts are members of the LGBTQ community or supportive allies.
Entertainment Cross Bay Ferry Service Vinoy Basin 375 Bayshore Drive Northeast, St. Petersburg Great Explorations Children’s Museum 1925 4th Street North, St. Petersburg Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino 5223 Orient Road, Tampa The Straz Center for the Performing Arts 1010 North WC Macinnes Place, Tampa
Explore the Outdoors Beaches If you want true sun in the fun, no visit to St. Pete would be complete without time at one of the region’s beautiful Gulf beaches. Pass-A-Grille This quaint beachside town is a popular local beach with several restaurants, shops and incredible sunset views. Ft. DeSoto St. Pete area’s largest beach, Fort DeSoto offers three miles of pristine beaches and stunning views of the Gulf and the nearby Sunshine Skyway Bridge. This is a popular RV spot, too! continued on page 53
Dr. Carter G. Woodson African American Museum 2240 9th Avenue South, St. Petersburg Dunedin Fine Art Center 1143 Michigan Boulevard, Dunedin
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Sunset Beach Sunset Beach lives up to its name and more. Any time of the day you can enjoy this popular “unofficial” gay beach. Boyd Hill Nature Preserve 1101 Country Club Way South, St. Petersburg Check out the natural habitats and tropical landscapes of this pristine wilderness. St. Pete Pier The Pier is home to the Tampa Bay Watch Discovery Center and multiple restaurants that are perfect for a relaxing bite or a leisurely meal.
St. Pete Shuffleboard Club 559 Mirror Lake Drive, St. Petersburg With over 110 shuffleboard courts, this beautifully restored historic property the largest shuffleboard club in the world. Sunken Gardens 1825 4th Street North, St. Petersburg The four-acre botanical gardens feels much bigger as you meander along the paths covered by a lush tropical canopy.
Where to Shop in St. Pete The region has several popular shopping areas including downtown Gulfport, Beach Drive, and Central Avenue, to name a few. Atlas Body & Home 919 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Sip, Shop, Hooray 2053 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Beach Bazaar 3115 Beach Boulevard South, Gulfport
Urban Burg Gifts 2253 Central Avenue #101 St. Petersburg
Blue Cottage 2435 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Woodfield Fine Art Gallery 2253 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Lucca Pratta 3011 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
ZaZoo’d 531 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Where to Dine in St. Pete Hungry? Then you’re in luck! St. Pete is home to dozens of restaurants, from high-class fare to casual seafood shacks. There are too many places to go in depth on all of them, so here are a few of our faves: Baba on Central 2701 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Old Key West 2451 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Birch & Vine 340 Beach Drive Northeast, St. Petersburg
Pisces Sushi 99 Highland Avenue, Dunedin
Casita Taqueria Multiple locations
Punky’s Bar & Grill 3063 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Cider Press Café 601 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Red Mesa Cantina 128 3rd Street S, St. Petersburg
Golden Dinosaurs 2930 Beach Boulevard S, Gulfport
Social Roost 150 1st Avenue N, St. Petersburg
Let it Be Ice Cream 3127 Beach Boulevard, Gulfport
Stella’s & Stella’s Sundries 2914 Beach Boulevard South, Gulfport
Love Food Central 2057 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Stillwaters Tavern 224 Beach Drive NE, St. Petersburg continued on page 55
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June 13th
923 72nd St. N, St. Pete, FL
esky Pride
Event Hosted by the Pesky Pelican Brew Pub
Guest MC: Drag Queen Monique Love
Drink Specials Food Specials Give-Aways Vendors Catered by:
Judy Haines and Cindy Vish • Calla-Boone • Steven Begert-Clark • Chic Lisitano • LCNV • Brittany Baldwin 54 | MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2021 |
continued from page 53
The Studio Public House 2950 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
The Library 600 5th Street South, St. Petersburg
Swingers Bar and Grill 2501 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Valhalla Bakery 2462 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Where to Sip & Socialize in St. Pete Looking to connect with like-minded visitors and locals? We’ve got you covered. Black Crow Coffee Co. 722 2nd St North, St. Petersburg 2161 1st Ave South, St. Petersburg Community Café 1055 4th Street South, St. Petersburg at the Community Oasis
Lucky Star Lounge 2760 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg Quench Lounge 13284 66th Street North, Largo Salty’s Gulfport 5413 Shore Boulevard, Gulfport
The Garage on Central 2729 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
The Dog Bar 2300 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Grand Central Brewhouse 2340 Central Ave. St. Petersburg
The Saint Speakeasy 49 24th Street North, St. Petersburg
Gulfperk Coffee Bar 3107 Beach Boulevard South, Gulfport
Shaded Keg Pub 348 Corey Avenue, St. Pete Beach
Enigma 1110 Central Avenue, St. Petersburg
Southside Coffee Brew Bar 3922 6th Street South, St. Petersburg
Grassroots Kava House 957 Central Ave., St. Petersburg
WELCOME TO THE GAYBORHOOD. SCAN QR CODE NOW! For insider tips, check out our in-depth St. Pete Gay Florida Travel Guide.
Outcoast.com
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Nomad Clan, SHINE 2018
Find Your Pride
Photo by Edel Mohr
By The SHINE Mural Team The SHINE St. Petersburg Mural Festival transforms our shared public spaces through the power of art from world-class local, national, and international artists. By using the walls and streets as canvas, the city comes alive with color and creativity. At its core, SHINE promotes accessibility, celebrates the medium, adds character to our surroundings, and allows kids, both young and old, to know that with enough imagination and determination you can make magic happen through art. Crucial to the success of SHINE is a thoughtful curation process. First and foremost, it’s always about diversity. Diversity of style, technique, and message. Every year, we look for
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artists who have found their creative voice and can bring their unique and diverse aesthetic to broaden our visual landscape, create new connections, and deepen our cultural perspective.
Photo by Chop Em Down Films
Boys & Girls Club at the Royal Theater SHINE 2019 We want to help people see their environments in new ways, share new stories, and find themselves represented in our ever-evolving outdoor gallery. It all starts with the artists. Honoring their creative expression and celebrating the diversity of their voices.
Once Upon A Shine: A Very Gay Mural Scavenger Hunt is the first city-wide scavenger hunt hosted by your Fairy Dragmother, Miss McGee. Download the free PixelStix app to play. For more information and to register visit www.stpeteartsalliance. org/PRIDE. iBOMS at Grand Central Brewhouse SHINE 2020
Creating art in public spaces requires respectful and responsible consideration for the surrounding community. Ours is a community that champions diversity, equity, and inclusion. So, our art must do the same. Since 2015, SHINE has produced 106 murals from a diverse group of artists representing every continent except Antarctica, 10 different US states, and 48 local artists from a variety of backgrounds.
Photo by Todd Wilkins
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Rowdies Pride Rowdies Communications In ten seasons of play, the Tampa Bay Rowdies have made it a priority to ensure their home of Al Lang Stadium is an inclusive environment for anyone who wants to come and watch a game in downtown St. Petersburg. “Together Rowdies” has become an ethos of the club in recent years, and it only rings true if everyone in the fanbase, no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity, feels equally welcomed and valued. In addition to hosting annual Pride Nights at Al Lang over the years, the Rowdies have been proud to show their support for the LGBTQ+ community in other ways. This year, the Rowdies are honored to work with the USL Championship in the recently announced Forever Proud Project. The year-long initiative aims to increase inclusivity, education, and awareness for the LGTBQ+ community across the USL’s entire network of youth and professional clubs. The You Can Play Project, Football v Homophobia,
HomeField Alliance, and PUMA x Trevor Project have all partnered with the USL to ensure the Forever Proud Project can create meaningful change in the American soccer landscape. In 2019, the Rowdies joined the Tampa Bay Rays and other organizations in signing a landmark amicus brief tied to three U.S. Supreme Court cases determining whether LGBTQ+ people are protected from discrimination. The Rowdies signed the brief in conjunction with the continued on page 61
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Human Rights Campaign and Athlete Ally, with whom they have another connection. Longtime midfielder Zach Steinberger serves as a Pro Ambassador for Athlete Ally, which focuses on motivating and activating professional athletes across all sports to champion equal access and opportunity in athletics for all players, regardless of gender expression, gender identity, or sexual orientation. “Soccer has opened virtually every door that I have walked through my entire life,” said Steinberger. “It has brought me countless opportunities and endless joy. To deny or simply to make difficult the mere option to experience the life-changing nature of sports is a problem that I am very passionate about correcting. That is why I have fought and continue to fight for the rights of the LGBTQ community.”
“No matter how you identify, sports are something that should be a safe and free environment,” said Steinberger, “and to try and take that away from somebody is appalling to me. That is so un-American.” Support for the LGBTQ+ community extends past the efforts of the Rowdies’ front office and players to their fans. Homophobia on the field of play became a point of discussion in the 2020 USL Championship season after an opposing player targeted openly gay San Diego Loyal player Collin Martin with a homophobic slur. In response, Rowdies supporters took it upon themselves to use the spotlight of the Rowdies’ run through the postseason to raise funds for Metro Inclusive Health, a local organization providing valuable health and wellness resources to the LGBTQ+ community.
Steinberger also stood with the transgender community in criticizing the recent Florida House Bill 1475, which proposed banning transgender girls from participating in female sports in high school and college.
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Interview with the Grande Dame of the Miss St Pete Pride Pageant, Kori Stevens By Angie Wegner The 12th Annual Miss St Pete Pride Pageant will be May 23, 2021 at 6pm at Postcard Inn on the Beach. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased at stpetepride.org starting May 1, 2021. Q. Let’s start at the beginning. Where did you grow up and what was your childhood like? A. I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida. I had two older brothers. There were a lot of kids around. I never had issues with other kids. I never tried to act any way other than who I was. Maybe it was because we grew up together? They were just “well, here’s who he is.” Q. How did you get into doing drag? A. I think for a lot of us, the first experiences are around Halloween. It’s just something you want to do, so you use Halloween as an excuse. I was dating someone who talked me into doing drag for Halloween. I did it and won $1000 in a costume contest. That was the start. Q. How did you come up with your drag persona? Is it similar to yourself out of drag? A. In most aspects, I’m the same person in and out of drag. I’m a little more outgoing in drag but I’m always very honest and upfront. I do everything with a professional mindset. For me, drag is a business, not a lifestyle. I don’t get in drag unless I’m being paid or helping to raise money for something. You won’t catch me walking around a bar in drag for no reason. Q. What was your first experience with St Pete Pride. A. A new coworker told me to come to St Pete the weekend of Pride so I could experience it.
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I didn’t know the area but he told me to meet him at a bar on Central Avenue at 9:00 a.m. the next morning. We met and he walked me up and down the street. I got to see the parade and was blown away because of all the celebrations I’ve been to, I’d never seen anything like it! My love for Pride started there. Once I got the responsibility of being Miss St Pete Pride, my love for it just grew to massive proportions. Q. What are the origins of the Miss St. Pete Pride Pageant and how did you get involved?
A. The first Miss St. Pete Pride Pageant was in 2009. The St Pete Pride Board was hosting the World Pride meeting, and they decided to have a pageant so the winner could perform for their guests from World Pride. It took off from there. I was the second Miss St. Pete Pride. At first, I had no interest whatsoever, but I worked at the popular bar and I was one of the popular girls, so I got talked into it. I entered and won. It was kind of crazy, but it was really cool and it was the start of something absolutely amazing for me. Q. What advice would you give someone if they wanted to start performing as a drag artist? Drag can be very enticing but you have to know who you are and you have to stay grounded. In any type of entertainment, fame can be taken away in a heartbeat so if you’re the type that needs the fame, you probably shouldn’t start. If you can put the job and caring for other people first, you’ll go much further. If you’re having fun, and you’re helping people, and you’re putting yourself out there to help the community, the community is going to help you back. Q. What do you suggest the LGBTQ community do to support drag artists? A. Well, I mean, I’m probably the wrong person to ask that question. I’ve always tried to take care of myself, even when I am struggling. I don’t talk about it a lot. In 2015, my mom passed and it was rough. It was really bad because my mom was in Jacksonville and wasn’t doing well. There was a lot of driving back and forth. I would go to work at the bar, get off work at three in the morning, and drive to Jacksonville. I’d be with my mom for a couple of days and then come back a few days later to work.
should go and have a good time.” I got to Vegas and I went out to see “Frank Marino’s Divas Las Vegas,” and I was sitting in the audience and my phone rang. I looked at my phone and I just knew what it was, so I didn’t answer the phone. It was really rough for me. I came home that Saturday and I had to perform at a brunch on Sunday morning. I went to work and the DJ introduced me and I walked out to do my number. Everybody in the audience showed me such love and support - it was really one of the most touching moments I’ve ever had. I knew before that this community had embraced me, but that moment was just crazy. It was like, “now I know where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing.” You know, I do drag for a living, so I don’t have a whole lot of money. I didn’t grow up with a whole lot of money. My mom had a life insurance policy, but my dad passed three years before she did. She borrowed against her life insurance to pay for his arrangements and to help my brothers out, so there wasn’t a whole lot left to take care of her expenses. I ended up having to go out of pocket and I mentioned it to my best friend. Nobody said anything to me, but the day of her funeral, I got a message that said, “you’re going to kill us.” I’m like, “what are you talking about?” My friend sent me a screenshot of a fundraiser that they were doing on Facebook without me knowing about it. The community raised an amazingly generous amount of money to help me with my mother’s expenses. It was just ridiculous. So, to answer your question, the community does take care of us. They really do. I’ve not met anybody who does drag in this area that feels unsupported, and that shows really just what this community is. It’s just amazing and I love it here.
Once, I went to see her and she was doing really well. She sat up in bed and we talked. I had a vacation scheduled to Las Vegas and I told her that I wasn’t going to go. She said, “Oh, you
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Celebrating National Nurses Week In May, we honor the courageous health care heroes who give their best, every day. The determined, fearless, tenacious frontline of healing. You are strong and relentless in our purpose, always putting our patients first. You are kind and compassionate, strengthened by our diversity. This year, more than any other, thank you. #NationalHospitalWeek #NationalNursesWeek
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Growing Up Transgender in Saint Petersburg By Elliott James Darrow
photo by sheri kendrick
I was born in 1998, and grew up in St. Petersburg, Florida, in the early 2000s. For the first fourteen years of my life I lived next door to a brave and outgoing lesbian. She and her partner raised a son together who was several years older than me. At a young age I knew I was attracted to girls. I envisioned that one day I’d marry a beautiful woman. Because I was born biologically female and I had a strong woman to look up to right next door, I assumed I was a lesbian. I had yet to learn the difference between sexuality and gender. In school we were only taught heteronormative behaviors, even well into high school. They separated students into groups of girls and boys for physical education, lining up, singing, and eventually even our math and English classes. They told us that the opposite gender was a distraction, or that girls learned at a faster pace than boys. In health class they strayed from discussing homeosexual relationships in regards to sexual education and safety. I had little information about gender identity to work with. My idea of who I was as an individual had become defined by the standards of “the majority.” When I was in my first relationship, I told my mom I did not want to label myself a lesbian, but over time I did. Feelings of being something other than female were not considered because I didn’t know it was an option. I solely thought that if you were born biologically female and felt like a boy, you were a lesbian. In high school I learned the word “transgender” from my first significant other as they were considering their own transition. Thanks to the internet I was able to learn more and discover identities beyond sexual identity. I went to my first St Pete Pride parade at age 16, and was astonished and warmed by the feeling of others around me who felt the same. I started transitioning a
couple years later, after I graduated high school. My anthropology teacher at the USF St. Petersburg campus was the first teacher to call me Elliott and use the right pronouns. She asked appropriate questions and made sure I always felt comfortable in her classroom. I will forever be grateful for that kindness. Since my teens, the queer community in St. Pete has blossomed. LGBTQ-owned businesses and community leaders have strengthened our voices. I have been comfortable becoming Elliott and transitioning into the man I am today thanks to this and supportive friends. I do feel jealousy for the current LGBTQ youth. The amount of resources they have here in St. Pete grows every year. I hope schools will soon follow this example and incorporate support to help LGBTQ kids navigate their identity. Tolerance and acceptance can be taught to all students at every age to create a comfortable learning environment. Giving kids the vocabulary and opportunity to be who they are is the minimum care we can provide. We need to do more. St. Petersburg has the potential to be an example for cities all over the country. We have to continue to fight for the rights of our children, friends and family!
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What Being the Mom of a Trans Kid Taught Me By Raffi Darrow Another mother once said to me, “When your children are born, they are characters in your story. Eventually, they start their own storyline in which they are the main character and you are in a supporting role.” It may be hard for a parent to determine when their child’s story has begun and when to let them learn from their own actions. (Notice I did not say “learn from their own mistakes,” because I have learned that sometimes what we think are mistakes at first turn out to be happy accidents in disguise.) As a mother of a transgender son who communicates frequently with other mothers of trans children around the world, I know there are many parents who wonder, “Is this transition for attention? Is my child really trans, or grasping at straws to get through their depression? Is this a response to abuse or trauma? Is this because their friends are doing it? Because it’s cool?” Parents with these thoughts are not alone, and they are not horrible people. They are reflecting on a major change in the life of someone they love - love with their whole being - and want to be sure the process is thought through mindfully. They are considering many angles. They are moving through all sorts of feelings. Going over “what ifs” in your head is not wrong, but at some point we all need to stop ruminating and move forward – move toward growth. What finally helped me move forward was releasing trying to figure out WHY this was happening, and focusing instead on WHAT was happening. I love my child, heart and soul – and seeing him happy while at the same time reiterating that 82
stpetepride.org
I have his back eventually transcended those questions. Who cares about his clothes or haircut? All of that is temporary. Therapists look for consistency and insistency when helping trans kids. If your child hasn’t wavered the last few years in their transition, then getting them on a path that may fight dysphoria and mental health issues seems like the way to go, in my opinion. Worrying about what other people think and how they may react will only cause anxiety. That’s true of most situations in life. You can imagine all sorts of possible future struggles, or you can focus on NOW - nurture the moment - and move forward while holding your child’s hand lovingly and protectively. You’ll both grow so much from the experience! And that is not temporary. That is forever. One night at dinner, my son asked me something along the lines of, “They say parents of trans kids mourn for the child they used to have. Do you think you are in mourning for me?” Here’s how I responded: “Let’s pretend you told me I couldn’t see my friend Erin ever again. I love Erin, she’s fun and one of my tribe, and I would miss her and be hurt, angry and sad. “When you came out as trans I was scared I would miss the person you used to be. I thought I was being told I would not be able to see the child I love so much ever again. I was so scared of what I MIGHT feel in the future while watching you continued on page 68
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See What Generosity Can Do??
continued from page 67
transition, but I should have taken the time to actually focus on what I was feeling in that moment. And sitting here, across the dinner table from you, feels a whole lot like sitting across the table from the kid I’ve always had.”
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It’s still my child’s heart, it’s still his soul, and it’s the same twinkle in his eyes. The rest is just wrapping paper. The real gift is what you find inside the wrapping paper. People ask me if I miss my younger daughter. I’d rather have a happy son living his true life than a suicidal daughter living to satisfy others. I am blessed that my child is still with me and feels close enough to share his life with me. Isn’t it beautiful when people are allowed to be who they uniquely are, and we accept them without boundaries?
Metro Inclusive Health LGBTQ Youth Programming
Youth Improvement Services Emergency Bridge Housing Program
Community Tampa Bay Transformations
Equality Florida Safe & Healthy Schools
Funding For LGBTQ+ Non-Profits CFTampabay.org/plusproject
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LOVE, real love, is willing to allow those who you care for to be their authentic selves without any insistence that they satisfy you. This year the trans community is under attack in state after state after state. It isn’t just pain that folks are feeling; it’s palpable fear - fear of what has happened and of what is yet to come. Simply debating anti-trans legislation in more than half the country causes harm. Trans people are watching. Trans kids are watching. Videos are being shared online of brave but vulnerable 8- to 14-year-olds speaking up for themselves in front of our government, and then getting heckled by adults and told they don’t deserve the same rights as their peers. Those kids deserve better. They deserve to have champions coming to their defense and demanding that they be treated as full and equal human beings. Be their champion. Tell your cis-gendered elected officials that they have no right to inspect trans bodies or to police how trans people interact with the world, be it in sports or in bathrooms or in a private conversation with their parent or medical professional. Use your privilege to help those without it. Please Visit the HRC “Count Me In” webpage to get started: hrc.org/campaigns/count-me-in
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RIPPLE EFFECT: A lot of the new Carol Mickett (L) and Robert Stackhouse exhibit is about how small acts make big impacts.
Engulfed
Climate change plays heavy in latest Micket-Stackhouse exhibition. By Jennifer Ring
F
loridians have always responded to climate their latest body of work, “Expanding Waters,” change in interesting ways, from denying it’s at The Gallery at Creative Pinellas in Largo. happening to suggesting that the Navy drop Mickett and Stackhouse moved to Florida’s ice into the Gulf of Mexico to stop Hurricane Gulf Coast in December 2002, first settling in Dorian. And let’s not forSt. Petersburg and then in get that hilarious social Tarpon Springs. Seeking media joke telling folks to set themselves apart Carol Mickett & Robert to aim their firearms at from Florida’s many waterStackhouse: Expanding Waters Hurricane Irma and shoot scape artists, the artist Through June 13, 2021 it off course. It’s all made duo looked past the sunsets The Gallery at Creative Pinellas for very interesting, but and focused on depicting 12211 Walsingham Rd., Largo. Wednesdaymostly unproductive, conthe Gulf of Mexico in more Sunday, noon-5 p.m. creativepinellas.org versation. But if anyone unique ways. should be taking climate change seriously and The Gulf is always changing—with the tides, having a real conversation about it, it’s Floridians. with our atmosphere, and with our actions. Florida artists Carol Mickett and Robert Living off the Gulf of Mexico gave Mickett and Stackhouse get that conversation rolling with Stackhouse a front seat to these changes and
VISUAL ART
the scientists monitoring them. During their time in St. Pete, the two artists shared a building with the U.S. Geological survey. On their frequent visits, they learned about the layers of the ocean and saw maps of barrier islands which had washed away over time. These maps influenced much of their earlier work. In 2008, Mickett and Stackhouse created their first iteration of “Currency: Climate Exchange,” a wall-sized abstract map of the Gulf of Mexico with stylistic blue swirls representing currents. Climate change is such an epic problem now, I assumed that the large blue swirl hovering over New Orleans was a hurricane. But the duo tells me they created this piece to celebrate the natural dynamics of the Gulf of Mexico—not to draw attention to the massive storms accompanying climate change. “The dynamics of the Gulf of Mexico are really something,” Stackhouse told CL.
“And what that painting shows is that even though we can localize the Gulf of Mexico, the Gulf Stream shows that it is connected to the rest of the world. It’s a river that runs through the ocean. Somewhere in Scotland and Ireland, there are palm trees because it comes close to shore.” It wasn’t until after living through Irma and dealing with Tarpon Springs’ frequent flooding, that Mickett and Stackhouse refocused their Gulf portraits through the lens of climate change. This year they added ice cube trays and mangroves to “Currency: Climate Exchange” as symbols of our need to cool the ocean and remove more carbon dioxide (the primary gas responsible for global warming) from the atmosphere. The nearby installation gallery tells the story of the Gulf of Mexico and the things that influence it, from oil spills to climate change to the sun and the moon. continued on page 73
“The Gulf Stream is a river that runs through the ocean.”
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continued from page 71 “Rows of long paper strips radiate from a 12-foot metal ring at the center of the gallery,” Creative Pinellas Curator Danny Olda describes in his essay, “Making the Invisible Visible.” “As you step through the ring and walk by the strips of paper, the strips sway and rustle in the slight breeze that follows you. It suggests how even small and seemingly banal actions have effects on the environment around us… ," Olda adds. Looking through the metal ring to the back wall of the gallery, a painting of the moon appears to illuminate the gallery and the artwork within it. It’s a clever illusion Olda created using gallery lighting. Somehow, one can even see the moon reflected upon the gallery floor as it shines upon the ocean’s surface. Looking in the opposite direction, the moon shines over troubled waters. A painting of an empty ice cube tray and a sperm whale in distress flank an image of the ocean on fire—a reference to the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Two paintings of water lead up to the fiery triptych; one is a pristine blue, while the other is an oil-tinged black. In another room Mickett and Stackhouse have created a two-dimensional forest of mangroves and live oak trees. “One of the ways to cool the Earth is to absorb CO2 and create shade,” says Mickett. Florida’s mangroves and live oaks are exceptionally good at this, which is why Mickett and Stackhouse honor them throughout the exhibition. In the “Thought Experiment” room, tiny paintings of ice cubes hang over larger prints of the Gulf of Mexico. The ice cubes’ small size highlights the magnitude of the problem Floridians face as our climate changes, hurricanes worsen and sea levels rise. It also reminds us, as Mickett puts it, “to actually think through our brilliant ideas.” Mickett and Stackhouse’s ice cubes and ice cube trays aren’t there to suggest we throw a bunch of ice into the ocean; they’re present to start a real conversation about climate change. You know, the type of conversation where we all acknowledge that (a) our climate is changing, (b) this affects both our health and our property, and (c) we need our elected politicians to collaborate with scientists to find practical solutions to this problem. To further spark these conversations, Mickett asked Creative Pinellas CEO Barbara St. Clair to facilitate a series of science talks to accompany the exhibition. The team invited eight local scientists, environmentalists and clean energy advocates to help launch the discussions.
Together, the scientists represent seven local, state, regional and national environmental agencies and universities including the University of South Florida, University of Florida, Largo Sustainability Program, Southern Alliance for Clean Energy and the U.S. Geological Survey. They are Florida Sea Grant Agent Libby Carnahan, USF Oceanography Professor Gary Mitchum, U.S. Geological Survey Researcher Davina Passeri, Florida Director for the Southern Alliance for Clean Energy Susan Glickman, Southern Alliance for Clean Energy Electric Transportation Manager Dory Larson, UF/IFAS FloridaFriendly Landscaping Program Coordinator Doris Heitzmann, Largo Sustainability Program Administrator Laura Thomas, and UF-IFAS extension director Jeffrey P Gellerman. Collectively, the group is intimately familiar with how climate change is affecting the Tampa Bay area, which is why I recommend you watch all four and a half hours’ worth of science talks— I’m serious. But I also write this knowing that I won’t convince everyone to watch these talks. Four-and-a-half hours is a lot of time, and science isn’t always pretty or entertaining like art. Sometimes, science is downright depressing, like when scientists tell you that our increasingly horrible hurricanes, rising sea levels, harder rains, nuisance flooding, beach erosion, mosquito-borne diseases, and unusually massive toxic algae blooms are all a result of climate change, and climate change is only going to get worse. At this point, trying to stop climate change can feel like trying to stop a car with no brakes. Sometimes, thinking about it makes you want to drive into the bushes. As Carnahan put it, “Earth’s climate is now changing faster than at any point in modern civilization. These changes are primarily the result of human activities, the evidence of which is overwhelming and continues to strengthen. The impacts are already being felt across the country, and climate-related threats to American’s physical, social, and economic well-being are rising. And we’re already adapting, but not enough.” But the science talks associated with “Expanding Waters” do more than just explain the problem. They also show which human activities contribute to climate change and which human activities can help mitigate climate change. And they don’t ask much of us. The best most of us can do to slow climate change is trade our gas-fueled vehicle in for an electric car, plant a live oak or two on our property, and elect politicians willing to collaborate with scientists on climate change. That’s worth taking four and a half hours to consider.
VISUAL ART
“At this point, trying to stop climate change can feel like trying to stop a car with no brakes.”
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E S T A B L I S H E D
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The local concert scene is finding ways to try and stay on its feet. We’ve marked the gigs at venues that have joined a Tampa-based and city-recognized “Safe & Sound” initiative that pledges to strictly enforce limited capacity, mask wearing and social distancing—and tried our best to explain COVID-19 protocols at venues that not able to join Tampa’s “Safe & Sound” program.
THU 27
“Bloom on Franklin” Art & Entertainment Walk: Peace Cult w/ Sintell/Perf/Lilith/DJ Wally Rios/DJ Qeys/Wave Theory Bloom on Franklin is the new fourth Friday art and music block party along the businesses just north of Tampa’s downtown, near the intersection of Kay and Franklin Streets. Curated in part by the gallery Mergeculture, the night offers an “Art Sessions Drink and Draw” with DJ Blenda providing the soundtrack. This month, music lined up by Wave Theory and Brokenmold Entertainment includes DJs and bands like indie-rock outfit Peace Cult. Mike Mass hosts a freestyle battle, so bring your rhymes if you got ‘em, and of course there’s art, this time from Strange Cat Toys. Food pop-ups from Good Fortune Baby and Red Hot Barbeque provide the noshes. The event is free, but Mergeculture is asking for a donation, so be kind with your wallet. We need art to get us through life. (Mergeculture, Tampa) The Florida Orchestra: Inside the Music—Beethoven feat. Natasha Paremski This pay-what-you-can concert finds TFO Music Director Michael Francis and pianist Natasha Paremski in a casual setting and utilizing Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 5, “Emperor,” to celebrate the resilience of the Tampa Bay community over the last year. ICYMI, Beethoven started going deaf in his late-20s, had complete hearing loss by his mid-40s but still continued to compose. “The concerto encapsulates the heroic struggle of the individual and how one determined soul can influence the world around him to a magnificent degree,” Francis said. There will be no advanced sales, so pay-what-you-can at the door. Masks are required and there will be a temperature check at the door. If you want more, return for one of three weekend performances of the “Emperor” concerto plus, “Mendelssohn’s Symphony No. 3”, happening May 29 (2 p.m., 8 p.m.) and May 30 (2 p.m.) (Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg) PCI Rocks the Beach Music Festival & Volleyball Tournament: Shevonne & The Force w/DJ Cliff Brown/Tribal Style/Reggae Lou & the Kind Budz/ Soul Circus Cowboys/Baddaskat/DJ
Sandman/DJ Casper/DJ Deacon/more Loads of folks will be in the parking lot outside Raymond James Stadium for Sunset Music Festival this weekend, but if a beach fest is more your speed, then Postcard Inn has the plug. Starting Friday and running through Monday, its volleyball tourney and music festival hosts acts like DJ and producer Cliff Brown (who co-founded production team J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League,which won a Grammy for its work on Mary J. Blige’s 2005 album The Breakthrough), local favorites (DJs Casper, Deacon, Sandman) plus reggae (Tribal Style, Baddaskat), rock (Shevonne & The Force) and country bands (Soul Circus Cowboys). A daily schedule is available, and while exact set times aren’t listed, the event’s Facebook page states “best sand volleyball competition by day, and live music performances by night.” Tickets are only required for Saturday and Sunday; Friday and Monday are free. Parking is not included, so make a plan or get a room. (Postcard Inn on the Beach, St. Pete Beach) Marvel Years w/Kill Paris/Side Trakd/ Brother Bear It’s Sunset Music Festival weekend, so be ready for the pre-parties, the after-parties, the after-after parties, the hotel lobbies—you get the drift. The first “unofficial” pre-party is put on by FWD Thinkers and Disco Lemonade with Vermont DJ Marvel Years, aka Cory Wythe, who played a show at The Attic last November. Wythe is on the other side of Ybor this week, where he’ll run through catchy cuts—my favorite is “The East” with underwater samples of Nas’ “It Ain’t Hard to Tell”—at Orpheum. Denver DJ Kill Paris, aka Corey Baker, shares the bill with beats that are a little more funky, a little more jazzy (“Just Groove”), and the Bay area’s own DJ Side Trakd (stylized SIDE TRAKD) and Buffalo’s Brother Bear round things out. (Orpheum, Ybor City)
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Ana Popovic Blues singer and guitarist Ana Popovic is playing two shows at the whimsical Safety Harbor Arts and Music. She was last in town for 2017’s Tampa Bay Blues Fest where she was the most anticipated act of the weekend, playing just before Buddy Guy. I guess she made a good impression because both shows at SHAMc are sold-out (though you can put your name on the waiting list if you missed out on tickets). Twenty years ago, the sultry Serbian-born Popovic gave up a career as a graphic designer to focus on music and it looks like she made the right decision. SHAMc is still politely asking for its guests to wear a mask and stay home if they’re sick. (Safety Harbor Arts and Music Center, Safety Harbor) C Displace w/The Reality Tampa’s Displace is “a saxophone and electric violindriven funk fusion ensemble”—think of a Jamiroquai-Phish combination cocktail.
Electric violinist Chris Barbosa, formerly of now defunct BOTB-winners The Porch Sessions, joins bassist Nathan Barnitz and drummer Evan Thibeault. What’s more is that vocalist Chris Sgammato also plays the saxophone and, most importantly, the keytar. Displace hasn’t performed since 2018, and has made some lineup changes since the band’s incarnation (Sgammato’s the only original member.) And what’s up with the Crowbar’s COVID-19 protocols? The Ybor City venue has upped the attendance from 100 to 150 and masks are recommended. “I am and have been trying to stay consistent with CDC guidelines,” Crowbar’s Tom DeGeorge told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay he's,“Hoping to be at full capacity by late summer or early fall.” So get those vaxxes, y’all. We’ve got shows to see. (Crowbar, Ybor City) Someday Honey Like the lucky ones, Someday Honey’s Kaleigh Baker and Matt Walker survived quarantining-together and even came out the other side of it with a song—“I’ve Got a SixFoot Feeling We’re Gonna Be Here For Rezz Awhile.” The couple is back with the other two members of the bluessoul band—drummer Sammy Farmer and acoustic bassist Mark Cunningham—for a Saturday night show at St. Pete’s best listening room. And if you can’t make it, this won’t be the last time you can catch them live. Lately, the quartet is booking shows all over including the Suwannee Hulaween at the end of October. As for COVID19 protocols, Hideaway owner John Kelly told CL, “We’re still asking people to wear (masks) to enter and when moving about inside but I believe we’ll have all doors open again Saturday which helps (air) flow. Staff are all still required to wear them.” (Hideaway Cafe, St. Petersburg)
Festival (SMF), honestly, I had to phone a friend. That friend recommended Chicago DJ Green Velvet, aka Curtis Alan Jones, who was in town recently for an EDM fest at the Pepin Center. Jones has been around since the early ‘90s, so those Nitzer Ebb-style, dark, industrial beats on “Deceiver” could be a tribute and not from coincidence. SMF has a crap ton of DJs that I’ve never heard of—except for AC Slater because, you know, “Saved by the Bell” (although this Slater is actually Aaron Clevenger, not Mario Lopez). Official pre and post-parties at The Ritz have even more DJs I’m out of touch with, but Lizzy Jane has been a local support fixture for the EDM stronghold (and Slander and Seven Lions are pretty much headliners at SMF proper). Saturday and Sunday shows are sold-out; free guest list for Friday night is still available. As of Monday, SMF was 95% sold-out. If you go, read the COVID-19 release and waiver that you are automatically “signing” by purchasing a ticket. And please, for your mother, drink some water. (North Lot Raymond James Stadium, Tampa)
NICOLE DE KHORS
By Stephanie Powers
Sunset Music Festival: Rezz w/ Slander/Seven Lions/ Adventure Club/ Nghtmre/Troyboi/ Zomboy/12 Planet/ AC Slater/Green Velvet/more For help on deciphering the gigantic lineup of this year’s Sunset Music
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Both barrels I need your advice. My partner of 27 years has been sleeping with my best friend. This has been going on for a year-and-a-half. As far as I knew, we had a monogamous relationship, even if things had gotten stale between us in recent years. And my best friend is everything to me. I confide in him for a lot, including advice on my relationship. We spoke recently about how my partner wasn’t interested in sex. He looked me straight in the eye as said how his partner wasn’t interested in sex either. Little did I know that he was doing my partner. What is weird is that my friend isn’t even close to my partner’s “type.” My friend, however, has turned into an absolute whore in recent years. His partner knows nothing about it. I feel so betrayed by them both. I am gutted. I also fear being alone. I am 56 years old. The four of us did a lot together—Thanksgiving, Christmas, dinners, brunch, everything. I don’t see how we can continue now. What should I do?—Going Under Thanks To Extreme Deceit
on. And having to pretend things are the same puts an avoidable—but not easily avoidable—strain on our long-term relationships. Because even as both partners know things have changed, acknowledging that fact feels risky because it often involves renegotiating the terms of the relationship. (Like a monogamous commitment made decades ago.) And the longer you’re together, the higher the stakes can seem. So two people don’t talk about what has changed… even if both parties know things have changed… and some people decide to do what they need to in order to stay married (or partnered) and stay sane. (Where do people get that idea?) Ideally this going and doing—contingencies, allowances, carve outs—are discussed in advance and agreed to by both parties. But just as often as not, GUTTED, difficult conversations are avoided and affairs begin and then much more difficult conversations can’t be avoided once affairs are discovered. Finding out you’ve been cheated can be deeply traumatic. I say “can,” GUTTED, because it’s not true in all cases; some people don’t give a shit who their partners are sleeping with after three decades together so long as they come home. It’s not that sex and faithfulness (which is not to be confused with monogamy) aren’t important. They are. They were obviously important to you. It’s just that other things—like a long history together or a deep-if-not-passionate intimacy or both—can become more important over time and monogamy, flawlessly executed over decades and decades, is not the only way a person can demonstrate faithfulness to a partner. Once you’re in couples counseling—assuming your partner is willing to go—I would encourage to squarely face questions like how important sex is to you as individual now and how important sex and sexual exclusivity are to you as couple now. Sexual passion and sexual exclusivity may have defined your relationship at the start and may have helped you cement your bond. But other things—valuable things like familiarity, intimacy, and security—may have overtaken them in importance. Just because your partner may not be interested in sex with you anymore or sex with you exclusively, GUTTED, doesn’t mean your partner isn’t interested in being your partner anymore. He may still love you and other things—perhaps more important things than sex—cement your bond now. Or not. Your partner could want out and the affair was his way of blowing it all up. But if he wants to stay in this relationship too, GUTTED, it would, again, be a different kind of partnership going forward. Perhaps a companionate one, perhaps one with a revived sexual connection. There’s definitely a path forward if you both want to be
SAVAGE LOVE
I don’t know what to tell you. If you find what your partner and best friend did—over and over again—intolerable and unforgivable, GUTTED, then don’t tolerate or forgive. Burn it all down. Dump your partner of nearly 30 years and cut your best friend out of your life. Then you get to decide if you’re gonna go quietly or if you’re gonna let people know why you ended both these relationships. And if you make your reasons public, GUTTED, which you have every right to do, the details will instantly get back to your best friend’s partner—assuming you don’t tell him yourself—and your ex-best-friend’s relationship will most likely end. Which means when the dust settles… and new leases are signed… you and your best friend’s ex will be alone and your thenformer partner and your then-former best friend will be free to go public with their relationship. But you can’t stay with your partner just to prevent that outcome. You can’t stay in this relationship out of spite. Which is not to say you can’t stay in this relationship. You could stay… if you wanted to… and your partner wants to… but it’s going to be a very different relationship going forward. You don’t say much about your relationship other than how long it’s gone on, GUTTED, that things went stale some years back, and how upset you were to discover this affair. But if there’s still good in this relationship and you have reasons to stay other than (or in addition to) not wanting to be alone, GUTTED, then get into couples counseling with your partner. Things will never be the same, GUTTED, but you know what? It’s deeply irrational for us to expect things to stay the same as the decades grind
JOE NEWTON
By Dan Savage
together. It’s a steep and rocky path, GUTTED, but it’s one countless other couples have walked together. But navigating it would require a huge effort from both of you, sincere contrition from him, and heroic powers of forgiveness from you. As for your best friend, GUTTED, you should tell that guy to go fuck himself for all eternity. P.S. You toss the word “whore” around like it’s a bad thing. It’s not. Deceit and betrayal are bad things. What your best friend did was bad; what your partner did was bad. But whoring around— safely, ethically, consensually—is a good thing, GUTTED, and a lot of my readers and listeners are looking forward to getting out there and doing some safe, ethical, consensual whoring around once they’re vaccinated. You may find that a little whoring around yourself—whether you’re single soon or not—may be just what you need. And, yes, even recently single gay men in their mid-50w can get their whore on. (Put “daddy” in your Instagram bio, GUTTED, and watch the DMs pour in.) I would like you to be the referee in a disagreement. I am going out with a lady who insists that tinglehole is two words, as in tingle hole. I, on the other hand, believe it is one word. Like an adjective describing a condition: tinglehole. Since this is your word, Dan, what do you say? Thank you in advance.—Words With Friends With Benefits P.S. There is some seriously freaky GGG shit riding on your answer. A few years back you couldn’t watch 30 minutes of basic cable without seeing three ads marketing “tingling” lubes to straight couples. These lubes were touted like they were a revolutionary new way, as one KY ad put it, “to turn up the heat” on your sex life. Yeah, no. First of all, I remember seeing bottles of “hot lube” in sex shops and on the nightstands of my first boyfriends back when I came out in the 1980s. And the effect was, well, let’s just say that most bottles of hot lube were disposed nearly full. Because while hot lubes do
make you hole tingle, it’s true, it’s not like they do the work. A lousy lay with hot lube on his dick is still a lousy lay. And getting hot lube all over your hole doesn’t “enhance the experience,” per KY, it only makes more it difficult to move on from it; it’s impossible to fall asleep after sex—be it good or bad—when you’ve got a bad case of tinglehole. P.S. It’s my word, I invented it, and I say it’s one word. Enjoy your freaky shit! Longtime reader, first-time writer, love your column. Your question from reader VIBEQ struck a chord with me because I (hetero, cis, basically vanilla, male-shaped person) had the same phobia about my female partners using vibrators. But I overcame it! And doing so was 100% to my benefit! I was a cripplingly shy, dorky, awkward teen and I had a lot of hang ups around sex—especially the irrational fear that no woman would ever find me satisfying compared to a vibrator. It really was a big hang up even after I became sexually active. But one day in college, my girlfriend asked me to use her vibrator on her while we were fooling around. My internal monologue went basically like this: “Oh no, I’m doing it wrong and now she wants the vibrator… hmm, this is almost like having a second cock… hey, my second cock is also basically a robot…” And then the bass line from the movie Terminator kicked in. I went to town and I’ve never looked back. It was very empowering. Another benefit of losing my vibratorphobia was that it gives me a way to be intimate with my partner even when I’m stressed out and not feeling up for intercourse—in the middle of a pandemic, for instance. And I owe this all to a former partner having the guts to make the big ask. If VIBEQ takes the plunge he may find it more than worthwhile!—Good Vibes Thanks for sharing, GV! Contactmail@savagelove.net, follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter and bookmark savagelovecast.com.
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Develops and implements standard, documented protocols & procedures relating to the post-live support issues adversely affecting client satisfaction. Responsible for planning, directing & coordinating the activities of the Support Production/Programming teams to ensure alignment with the Post-Live Support teams. Participate in the strategic decisions about technology, definition & implementation of SCC’s products to assess impact on the post-live support teams. Lead a team of Programmers to perform code changes for hot fixes for software anomalies that are determined. Requires a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science or a related field + 60 months of experience as a Senior Manager with a laboratory or clinical information systems vendor leading a global software development, implementation and/or support management team in the usage, programming, file building & troubleshooting of a laboratory or clinical information system.
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