In Tampa Bay, Rod Wave’s streaming numbers rise well above others
CREATIVE LOAFING • CLTAMPA.COM • $FREE • APR. 8-14, 2021 (VOL.34, NO.14)
2 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
each or try all three
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 3
PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman
The juicy, hand cut and battered chicken is available as wings or as K-Pops.
VISITSTPETECLEARWATER.COM
CONTRIBUTORS Jeffrey C. Billman, Carter Brantley, Caroline DeBruhl, Justin Garcia, Alexandria Jones, Joe Newton, Stephanie Powers, Jennifer Ring, Cory Robinson, Dan Savage
ory
INTERNS We don’t have any this semester. Apply via rroa@cltampa.com
stion ................. 5 tory
DESIGN & PRODUCTION MANAGER Jack Spatafora
SeaWorld in February, animal rights PHOTOGRAPHERS Nicole Abbett, Marlo claiming the practice of keeping Miller wild d dangerous. But even though public atmany SeaWorld animal rights ACCOUNT don’t in seeFebruary, aSENIOR parallel between the kind claiming the practice of keepinganimals wild k, and the practice ofEXECUTIVES displaying Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda nd dangerous. even though public asking for tooBut much? Or is it time for a d, many don’t see a parallel between the kind t” animals? MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND
stion ................. 5
Anju has the only kind of K.F.C. you’ll ever want, p. 17.
ck and the practice of displaying animals EVENTS DIRECTOR s asking for tooAlexis much?Quinn Or is Chamberlain it time for a ent” animals?
MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS INTERN Claire White Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40 EUCLID MEDIA GROUP Music Week ................................................... 42 CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Music: Tampa Blues Fest ........................... Concert review:Bay Artic Monkeys ..........................40 42 Andrew Zelman CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS42 Music ................................................... The ListWeek .......................................................... 46 Chris Artic Keating, Michael Wagner42 Concert review: Monkeys .......................... Movie reviews ..................................................... 63 VP OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein TheWill List Astrology .......................................................... 46 Free ......................................... 64 DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Movie ........................................................... reviews..................................................... 63 Jaime Monzon Puzzler 66
NEWS+VIEWS �������������������������11
A&E ��������������������������������������� 23
Free Will Astrology......................................... 64 Savage Love ...................................................... 69
euclidmediagroup.com cltampa.com Savage Love ...................................................... 69 cldeals.com clspace.com Puzzler ........................................................... 66
MUSIC ����������������������������������� 39 ORACLE OF YBOR ������������������ 43
EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a weekly newspaper covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.
SAVAGE LOVE ������������������������ 45 CROSSWORD ������������������������� 47
Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 204 E. Henderson Ave. Tampa, FL 33602. The newspaper is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampa.com. cltv How2020, wasTampa your Weekly, Date? LLC. The Copyright m/cltv newspaper cltampa.com/movies How is was your Date? produced and printed on cltampa.com/movies Indigenous land belonging to Tampa Bay’s Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.
ON THE COVER: Photo by Tyler Benz. Design by Jack Spatafora.
Creative Loafing is printed on a 90% recycled stock. It may be recycled further, please do your part.
Ybor Festival of the Ybor Festival of the Moving Image Moving Image A MEMBER OF: cltampa.com/arts cltampa.com/arts Follow us on
/food Openings forever
twitter�com/cl_tampabay
mpa pa
cts, s, .
‘Happy Hour with a Historian’ is back in St. Pete, p. 23.
Our main number: (813) 739-4800 Letters to the editor: comments@cltampa.com
_tampa. . cl_tampa
itors ors
Tupperware, Kerouac, murals, historic wars and more are all on tap.
facebook�com/cltampabay
instagram�com/cltampabay
4 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
KEN APPERSON
non scs
CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR
FOOD+DRINK ��������������������������17
/music Sounds good /news Heat check /arts More film photos.cltampa.com McEnany home for sale in Tampa
BUY LOCAL HALF OFF!
BLACKJACK PIZZA & SALADS $25 FOR $12.50
URBAN CANTINA $20 FOR $10
RIVETERS TAMPA $30 FOR $15
AMERICAN SOCIAL $20 FOR $10
Refer Three Friends, Get Yours Free Once you make a purchase from CL Deals, you will receive a referral link to share. Simply pass on your link to friends and family and, if three people use your link and purchase the same Deal within 30 days, your deal will be completely free!
Purchasing CL Deals is easy, just visit
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 5
USA TODAY 10 BEST
Gluten Free Restaurants in Tampa Bay
hand crafted • inventive eclectic • health conscious vegan cauliflower crust gluten free & vegan options
12-9pm / 7 days a week • Curbside Carryout & Delivery Available 610 S. Armenia Ave • Hyde Park /SoHo • (813) 258-1999 gourmetpizza-company.com
Karaoke
7 Nights a Week! AT
with KJ's
BARB YOUNG & MARTY DJFX DOLAN DINE IN & TAKE OUT
DINE IN & TAKE OUT • OPEN 8AM-3AM STRICTLY FOLLOWING CDC GUIDELINES! 2116 E2116 BAY DR • LARGO, FL • 727-584-3126 E BAY DR • LARGO, FL • 727-584-3126
thecornerbarandgrill.com thecornerbarandgrill.com
6 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Stay your way with FLEXSTAY @ Westshore, the only exclusive community to offer a flexible option for your life style.
Flex Stay @ WESTSHORE
The more you stay, the less you pay!
Starting as low as $1,599 per month. everything included:
• Fully Furnished • All Utilities Included • 24 Hr Concierge Service • Cable & WIFI Included
For more information, call 813-702-3004
• On Site Gym • On Site Business Center • Weekly Housekeeping • Olympic-size Pool
or email MyFlexStay@Gmail.com cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 7
C
By Ray Roa
reative Loafing Tampa Bay used to run a spread detailing nearly a dozen events to get in trouble at each week, but the coronavirus put a kibosh on that. And while we’re still being cautious AF while Florida gets its vaccination numbers up, CL staff and contributors are going to ease back into re-introducing our “Do This” section. I’m not sure if this will be a recurring page each week going forward, but keep checking back, washing your damn hands and normalizing mask-wearing. All our lives literally depend on it. Links to all of these events are at cltampa.com/magazine.
SCHEDULE A
FREE CONSULTATION WITH OUR EXPERTS!
Because Disinfectants Stop Working Once They Dry. Our Antimicrobial Protection works 24/7 for up to 90 days. Bio-Safe Surfaces offers the most advanced Antimicrobial Surface Protection available today.
Sunday, April 11 Afternoon discussion about BIPOC issues at Green Bench in St. Pete If you’ve ever felt like Instagram activism wasn’t enough, then this no-cover multifaceted event is calling you in with an afternoon of classes, lectures, music and vendors all ready to share knowledge about BIPOC issues in Tampa Bay. “Progress through Partnership” kicks off with a limitedattendence movement class at 11 a.m. (live streamed to anyone who can’t attend) before making space for Tri-Partisan Canvas founder Jaleesa Blackshear who speaks on a panel that also includes event co-organizer Rissa Wray, Marcus Brooks and Meiko Seymour all speaking in between 1 p.m.-5 p.m. Artist Jabari Reed-Diop (aka iBoms) does live art during the afternoon in between live music. Face masks and social distancing required when not seated at Green Bench, located at 1133 Baum Ave. N. Anniversary brings Tampa Bay’s best vegan vendors to Arcadia Shelter Farm Sanctuary's “day of food and friendship” includes animal snuggles and Tampa Bay vegan favorites including Nah Dogs, The Vegan Halal Cart, Golden dinosaurs, and Three Dot Dash. If you are unfamiliar with the nonprofit—located at 1837 SW CR-769—Shelter Farm rescues animals providing them with a safe space to live out their years. To accommodate for social-distancing, the day is split into two time slots: 11 a.m.-1 p.m. or 1:30-3:30 p.m. Tickets for either time slot are $40.—Stephanie Powers
Another ride to honor late Tampa bike man Joe Haskins happens this weekend Hundreds of Bay area cyclists recently took to the streets of Tampa to honor the late Joe Haskins, who championed the working class bicyclists of Tampa for six decades until his death on March 20. Another ride does it all over again after riders assemble at Haskins’ bike shop—located at 2310 N Florida Ave. in Tampa—at 11 a.m. Tampa Bay Jewish Film Festival opens While most of the venues for the 25th TBJFF are virtual, the kickoff will be in-person and on wheels at Bryan Glazer Family JCC on 505 N Howard Ave. for a screening of “Golden Voices,” about Soviet voice actors aiming to rebuild their lives in Israel. Tickets are $25 per car. Wednesday, April 14 Wave Theory visits online ‘Coda Project’ show for livestream Over the last few weeks, Tuesday nights at Tampa Shuffle have been home to one of the most dynamic multi-genre (albeit hip-hop centric) open mics hosted by Tampa collective Wave Theory. But not everyone is going out in public, so on Wednesday, Wave Theory is coming to you by heading to Ken Apperson’s Pinellas Home where they’ll record an installment of “Coda Project.” The program airs at 9 p.m. at no charge (donations for the artists are accepted), which gives music lovers— regardless of health and vaccination status—a chance to experience local music makers.
MARLO MILLER
Visit bio-safesurfaces.com -or- call for more information 8 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
727-479-7940
HEAT CHECK: If you’re still fired up from last summer, there’s a Sunday event for you.
Bay Area Renaissance Festival New Location!
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 9
s i h t t e Mark ! d n e k wee
1 1 9 l i r Ap Open later until 8pm Sat. for ArtWalk!
First Dibs Friday 4-8pm ($5 Tickets at vintagemarche727.com) Saturday 9am–8pm (free) • Sunday 9am–5pm (free)
TAMPA BAY’S LARGEST MONTHLY VINTAGE MARKET vintagemarche727.com • 2200 2nd Ave. S., St Pete, 33712 In the Warehouse Arts District across from 3 Daughters Brewing 10 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
VintageMarche727
“I’m not the only woman who goes through shit like this.” POLITICS
ISSUES
OPINION
Gaetz of hell
Creepy voicemail is just one part of news surrounding congressional troll. By Colin Wolf organization and I refunded the second. We weren’t even in any communication yet he would donate to me. It was so weird!” she continued. In the thread, Eskamani points out that this type of behavior is unfortunately commonplace for women, and urged others to share their stories, as well.
using a state database to create fake IDs, and sex trafficking a minor between the ages of 14 and 17, was hit last Wednesday with a slew of new charges, including wire fraud, conspiracy to bribe a public official, theft of government property, and accusations that he used department funds to buy Bitcoin and Michael Jordan merchandise for himself. On April 1, The New York Times reported that the two men met the same 17-year-old girl through the website Seeking Arrangement,
FLORIDA NEWS
GAGE SKIDMORE
O
n April Fools Day, in the same week it was announced that Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz is under investigation for possible sex crimes, which stemmed from another investigation into his close associate, former Seminole County Tax Collector Joel Greenberg, State Rep. Anna Eskamni said the two sent an unsolicited and “weird AF” voicemail to her cell phone. In a Twitter thread posted April 1, the HD47 Democrat said that Greenberg and Gaetz both called her phone and left a voicemail on July, 4, 2019. “He called me and I didn’t pick up (again, I barely talked to him),” said Eskamani. “He left a voicemail and it wasn’t just him, he was with Matt Gaetz too! I shared the voicemail with a few different people because again, it was SO WEIRD and I didn’t realize they were friends.” Eskamani shared the 27-second voicemail with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. You can listen to it via cltampa.com/magazine, but here is the transcript: Greenberg: “My dear Anna, this is your favorite tax collector. I’m up in the Panhandle with your favorite U.S. congressman Mr. Gaetz. Gaetz: “Hi Anna.” Greenberg: “And uh, we were just chatting about you and your lovely qualities, and your…” Gaetz: “... We think you’re the future of the Democratic Party in Florida!” Greenberg: “See, I know you’re the future of it, there’s no thinking involved. Anyway, uh, if you get this and you feel like chatting, give me a shout back. Hope you’re well. Hope you had a nice Fourth, later.” Eskamani, who in 2018 called for Greenberg to resign after he shared anti-Islamic posts to Facebook, says the voicemail preceded another uncomfortable situation, where he asked her to lunch and was presumably “high the entire time.” “He pushed me to have lunch with him after he kinda/sorta apologized,” said Eskamani in another tweet. “I picked a very public place to meet in HD47 — it was the weirdest meeting I’ve ever had and I’m pretty sure he was high the entire time too.” “He also tried donating $100 to both my 2018 and 2020 campaign — unsolicited by me. I re-donated his first $100 to a Muslim-lead
woman who has weird AF experiences with people like Greenberg and Gaetz. Share your stories, know you’re not alone. We got your back.” On March 30, the New York Times broke the story that Gaetz is being investigated for having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl and violating laws against sex trafficking in the process. The investigation has since been confirmed by multiple outlets, and even Gaetz himself. However, Gaetz has since denied the charges, and now says he’s actually the target of a $25
BYE, BUTTHEAD: Is anyone but Matt Gaetz surprised to find him under investigation? “I haven’t shared any of this publicly because for so many women, feeling forced to have lunch with someone you don’t want to have lunch with or getting unsolicited gifts and phone calls is the norm. You internalize it and just try to avoid that person. I’m not doing that anymore,” said Eskamani in another tweet. “I’m not the only woman who goes through shit like this, and I’m sure I’m not the only
million extortion plot involving a former FBI agent who the congressman claims is trying to use photos of him in a child sex orgy and he wants his help to free an American prisoner in Iran in exchange for a pardon from President Joe Biden. Meanwhile, his buddy Joel Greenberg, who is already facing 14 felony counts accusing him of things like stalking a political opponent,
and paid for sex using Apple Pay and CashApp. According to the Daily Beast, federal investigators were first tipped off about Gaetz’s connection to Greenberg after they obtained text messages showing the former Tax Collector had brought the Republican congressman to his Lake Mary office on April 18, 2018 for an after hours visit that involved rifling through discarded IDs.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 11
HAPPY HOUR AT AMSO Monday - Friday, 4pm-7pm Saturday 3pm-6pm
$4, $5 & $6 Liquor, Beer & Wine $8 Hand-Crafted Cocktails
CU R B SI D E SER V ICE S
Q U I C K A N D CO N V E N I E N T C U R B S I D E P I C K U P AVA I L A B L E E V E RY DAY.
STAT E WI D E D ELI V ER Y E A S Y A N D R E L I A B L E D E L I V E RY W I T H I N 2448 HOURS. MINIMUM $100 ORDER.
N E W FA N % OFF E N JO Y M U S T B E 2 1 + TO P U RC H A S E M O N W E D 1 0 AM 7 PM | T H U R S AT 1 0 AM 8 PM | S U N 1 1 AM 5 PM
8773083344
ST. PE TER SBU R G
OR L ANDO
POR T ST. LUCIE
BONI TA SPR ING S
JACK SON VILLE
AVON PAR K
BOYN TON BE ACH
OCAL A
1 5 0 2 2 N D ST S O U T H ST. PE T E R SBU R G F LO R I DA 3 37 1 2
11 61 B E AC H B LV D JAC K S O N V I LLE B E AC H , F LO R I DA 32 2 5 0
12 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
1 3 4 F E R N WO O D B LV D 751 0 S O U T H F E D E R AL H W Y F E R N PAR K P O R T ST. LU C I E F LO R I DA 32 7 30 F LO R I DA 3 4 9 52
2 9 9 US H W Y 2 7 S AVO N PAR K F LO R I DA 3 3 82 5
2 02 E B OYN TO N B E AC H B LV D B OYN TO N B E AC H F LO R I DA 3 3 4 3 5
2 8 5 0 0 B O N I TA C R O S SI N G , B O N I TA SPR I N G S F LO R I DA 3 41 3 5
811 N E 3 6 T H AV E O CAL A F LO R I DA 3 4 4 70
Infrastructure week!
Democrats are making sausage. Republicans are flinging poo. By Jeffrey C. Billman end up being some truth to that.” That’s Punchbowl News, an outfit so devoted to both-sidesism that it could make Chuck Todd blush. Punchbowl goes on to quote Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who has never acted with anything but good faith: “Our nation could use a serious, targeted infrastructure plan. There would be bipartisan support for a smart proposal. Unfortunately, the latest liberal wish-list the White House has decided to label ‘infrastructure’ is a major missed opportunity by this administration.” Never mind that McConnell didn’t pass a “serious, targeted” plan when he had the chance. Putting the lie to his “missed opportunity” lament merely requires quoting something else he said that day: “It’s called infrastructure, but inside the Trojan horse it’s going to be more borrowed money and massive tax increases on all the productive parts of our economy.” Notice the Catch-22: Fixing infrastructure is great, so long as you don’t raise taxes or increase the deficit. To his credit, Biden understands that there’s no common ground to be had here—certainly not enough to find 10 Republican senators to overcome a filibuster—and chasing it is a fool’s errand. Republicans will never vote for tax increases or “the Green New Deal under a new name,” as Rep. Steve Scalise, R-Big Oil, put it. The base, obsessed with owning the libs, wouldn’t forgive anything less than total war— and GOP elites are working them into a lather. Florida Sen. Rick Scott, the Medicare defrauder leading the Senate election effort, blasted out a press release headlined, “Biden’s Disastrous Tax & Spend Agenda is Killing America.” Killing America. Suggesting that engaging this crowd would accomplish anything more than dragging out the process betrays a gross misunderstanding of political reality if not a willful naivete. (As we’ve discussed, Republicans are not a serious party.) It’s also looking at things backward. The issue isn’t why Democrats aren’t accommodating Republicans, but why Republicans expect accommodation when they’ve shown no interest in governing. It’s not just that Democrats won in November and Republicans lost, or that Biden has a 60% approval rating and is presiding over an economy that added more than 900,000 jobs last month. It’s that Democrats are tackling meaningful
INFORMED DISSENT
“Biden understands that there’s no common ground to be had here.”
MRX (CC BY-SA 3.0)
E
very few months or so, the Trump White House would declare “Infrastructure Week!,” seven days for the president to focus the country’s attention on his plan to rebuild the country’s decaying roads, bridges, and airports. The problem, of course, was that Donald Trump was an agent of chaos, pathologically incapable of detaching from the frenzy of the news cycle. The other problem: there was no plan. They were winging it. The first Infrastructure Week, in June 2017, was an on-the-fly attempt to distract from James Comey’s testimony to Congress. The strategy collapsed when Trump used a Rose Garden speech to rant about James Comey. Subsequent tries had similar results: Infrastructure Week 2, in August 2017, coincided with Trump’s “both sides” remarks about the Charlottesville white supremacists. Infrastructure Week 3, in February 2018, was overshadowed by the massacre at a Parkland, Florida, high school and the indictments of 13 Russians for election interference. Soon, Infrastructure Week became a punchline. Eventually, it got an Urban Dictionary entry. Trump never came within shouting distance of passing infrastructure legislation. While it’s easy to blame his ineptitude for the failure, that’s only part of the story. The other part: Republicans didn’t care. They had complete control of Washington in 2017–18 and a president dying to do a photo op in a hard hat. Any infrastructure deal would have had Democratic buy-in and off-the-charts polling. If they wanted to do it, it would have been done. Instead, they passed a $1.9 trillion tax cut that favored the wealthy, did nothing to spur the economy, and despite comical assurances that the tax cuts would somehow pay for themselves, drove the deficit into the stratosphere. This history should be instructive. You’d think that when President Biden unveiled his $2.25 trillion infrastructure plan last Wednesday and Republicans clutched their pearls about runaway deficits, job-killing tax increases, and the president abandoning bipartisanship, savvy political journalists would see through the charade. Instead, we got prattle at this: “Republicans will blame Democrats for not negotiating in good faith on this, and there may
GAS MAN: This Medicare defrauder sent a press release headlined, ‘Biden’s Disastrous Tax & Spend Agenda is Killing America.’ issues while Republicans rage about Dr. Seuss, fantasize about election fraud, and fearmonger about transgender children. The American Rescue Plan, which has 72% approval? Zero Republicans voted for it. Likewise, it’s a near certainty that zero Republicans will vote for the infrastructure bill, which also has majority support, and whose component parts—including extending expansions of child tax credits and Obamacare subsidies— are more popular than the whole. Why, then, are Democrats supposed to compromise when Republicans haven’t even feigned a desire to participate? Why should they try to reason with people for whom unreasonableness is their raison d’être? Why should they, by accepting the filibuster, give Mitch McConnell a veto? There are enough cats to herd as it is.
Progressives believe—justifiably—that the bill is trillions short on climate investments. Dems from high-tax states want to restore a Trump-cut state and local tax break. Moderates are hand-wringing about increasing corporate taxes. And because the White House divided its agenda into two parts—broadly, infrastructure and social welfare—the party’s competing constituencies are battling to get their priorities into the first bill, worried that the second won’t happen. Plus, there’s whatever the hell Joe Manchin wants. Democrats are making sausage. Republicans are flinging poo. Appeasing them won’t make the sausage better. It will just get shit everywhere. Get Informed Dissent delivered to your inbox. Subscribe today at billman.substack.com.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 13
Locked down
Prisoners remain within evacuation zone near Piney Point. By Justin Garcia
A
s of Monday, April 5—as the Piney Point phosphate mine environmental crisis unfolds— hundreds of Manatee County prisoners are being held within a mandatory emergency evacuation zone, putting their safety in imminent danger. The Manatee County Central Jail, which has an inmate capacity of about 1,300, is less than a mile away from the embattled Piney Point phosphate mine’s leaking reservoir holding more than 300 million gallons of wastewater. Last weekend, state officials referred to the site as an “imminent threat.” The site’s failure could lead to million gallons of toxic waste water flooding the area around the phosphate mine, with the potential to unleash a 20-foot wave upon northwest Manatee County. Gov. Ron DeSantis declared a state of emergency for the area and residents are being mandatorily evacuated. But during a press conference on Easter Sunday, Manatee County Administrator Dr. Scott Hopes said the jail did not plan to move prisoners, and would just take them to the second floor if necessary. He added that sandbags have been situated outside the building. On Sunday afternoon, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay emailed Manatee Sheriff Rick Wells and Randy Warren, the Public Information Officer for the Sheriff’s Office. They did not immediately respond to questions about the situation. But by Sunday night, the jail seemingly shifted course, evacuating 345 prisoners, the Bradenton Herald reported. Still, about 721 prisoners still remain in the facility, along with 100 staff members.
Florida Prisoner Solidarity (FPS) says that all the prisoners should be evacuated, and launched a phone zap campaign targeted toward Sheriff Wells, the Board of County Commission, and Manatee’s County’s Emergency Management System. “The pressure is working! 345 prisoners have been evacuated due to 'security' concerns,” FPS wrote in a Twitter post on Sunday. “Still, hundreds will be left behind as radioactive wastewater fills the first floor and may reach the second.” The questions remain, what dire situation might those prisoners and staff find themselves in if the flooding occurs? If the flooding is significant enough to reach the second floor, will they survive? Even if the flooding doesn’t reach the second floor, how might the prisoners and staff cope with potential loss of power? Prisoners are historically left to suffer emergency situations. During hurricanes Michael, Katrina, Irene, Harvey, Florence and more, inmates were in harm’s way when mother nature struck, to face deadly conditions and flooding. As the recent Texas winter storm travesty unfolded, the Texas Tribune reported that prisoners were stuck in unheated cells with overflowing toilets, afraid to sleep because they thought they might not wake up. As the Piney Point crisis in Manatee County develops and emergency crews rush to try to mitigate damage, the inmates remain stuck in place as hundreds of residents are mandatorily rushed to safety. CL Tampa Bay will continue to report on this developing story, visit cltampa. com/news for the latest.
LOCAL NEWS
GOOGLE MAPS
RED ZONE: The evacuation site surrounding Piney Point (in black), with the area of the Manatee County Central Jail in red.
14 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Shit Happened FRIDAY 02 Tampa’s Bay Area Renaissance Festival says it’s back and relocating to Pasco for 2021. I’ll totally drive an extra 45 minutes to get a chance to eat a gigantic turkey leg while possibly getting a glimpse of Ye Olde Bare Ass and Dong during the Men in Kilts Competition.
SUNDAY 04 As he dealt with the environmental crisis that is Piney Point, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis also had to stand by as his vaccine rollout drew “Hunger Games” comparisons on “60 Minutes,” which is fitting since I always tell myself, “May the odds forever be in your favor” every time I walk out the door during this godforsaken pandemic.
MONDAY 05 Florida opens vaccine eligibility to anyone 18 and up and even makes the Pfizer jab available to 16 and 17 year olds, which makes your highschooler just a tiny bit ickier than they were a year ago.
Doggone GOOD BEER! 1st
Kayleigh McEnany, a former White House press secretary for the Trump Administration who now works for Fox News, is selling her Tampa home on Davis Islands. She and her husband, former Tampa Bay Rays pitcher Sean Gilmartin, paid $650,000 in 2017 and are now asking $1.1 million. It’s unclear if McEnany is moving away to be closer to her new rightwing news employer, but as CNN’s Don Lemon once said: “Girl, bye.”
TUESDAY 06 The prelude to alligator mating season is in full effect, and the prehistoric marvels will officially start humping in May or June, which means you should definitely stop feeding the fucking things if you haven’t already.
RUNNER UP
BEST
SMALL BREWERY IN FLORIDA 2020
40+ TAPS OF CRAFT BEER LARGE BEER GARDEN
PRIVATE EVENT SPACE AVAILABLE FOR RENTAL 1962 1st Ave S. IN ST. PETERSBURG (727) 235-0970 / pawbeer.com
More shit, but on the daily, via cltampa.com/news.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 15
16 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
TAKEOUT Anju
2827 16th St., N., St. Pete Entrées $11-$17.50; sides $3-$5; alcohol $4- $14; no dessert. 727-289-8568; anju-st-pete.square.site
RESTAURANTS
RECIPES
DINING GUIDES
Bibimbap boom
Anju delivers out of this world comfort food to St. Pete. By Jon Palmer Claridge Chef Wolney has two “signature dishes,” K.F.C. (Korean fried chicken) and the Bap Bowl (bibimbap). The juicy, hand cut and battered chicken is available as wings or as K-Pops (bites) tossed in one of two signature sauces, soy garlic or St. Pete heat, with a peanut garnish and a mound of steamed, sticky rice. I ordered the K-pops, which are essentially upscale nuggets, with the sauce on the side. Like great French fries, they’re twice cooked—first to cook them through at a lower temperature, then at a high temp for crispness. What you notice right away is the potato starch, rather than an all flour batter. If you’ve had Chinese sweet and sour pork, you’ll recognize the flavor difference. The coating is lighter and crisper. Despite not being as heavily seasoned as the Colonel’s secret KFC, the bites are juicy and
cigar) with a tangy, sweet chili sauce. The Anju Combo offers the best of both worlds with bulgogi beef and some fried chicken K-Pops with sticky steamed rice, and a lightly spicy Korean slaw. Two popular treats with a cult following from the food truck are crispy tater tot concoctions. K-Town tops the tots with beef bulgogi, grilled kimchi, melted mozzarella and provolone cheeses, thinly sliced fresh scallions, crushed peanut and the St. Pete heat sauce. Or you can mix it up with Osaka, Japanese inspired crispy taters seasoned with Japanese mayo and sweet BBQ sauce, aonori (seaweed), bonito (tuna flakes), bacon, scallions and pickled red ginger. The new dining room is ready for socially distanced patrons post vaccine. All the staff are masked and concerned for your safety. Chef Wolney’s motto is “Made with Love in St. Pete.” Whether you opt for curbside pickup or delivery, you can be sure that you’re in for a treat with fresh ingredients instead of cans. Asian cuisine is a wonderful diverse world which leaves Chun King way back in the rear view mirror. So try some bibimbap and be transported.
VISITSTPETECLEARWATER.COM
G
rowing up as a baby boomer, the exciting new trend was convenience foods. Five-course TV dinners (including a warm mini brownie) were exceedingly popular and any “foreign” cuisine was conveniently canned to minimize time in the kitchen for harried parents, inevitably mothers. As a undiscriminating kid, I loved Chef Boyardee ravioli, which reduces a great Italian dish to baby food. Asian cuisine meant Chinese in cans by Chun King. There was no acknowledgement of any regional diversity from the other side of the world. No one even dreamt of sushi, much less Thai, Vietnamese, Filipino or Korean dishes. Flash forward to 2021 and now we can tour much of Asia during the pandemic through takeout from chefs more than happy to share a taste of their heritage. Food is always a reflection of culture and every society has iconic dishes that have come to represent each nation for the American palate. Even diners without adventuresome tastes usually appreciate the comfort food from countries far distant from our own. But let us not mistake microwave ramen for Buya or Ichicoro. Many of these chefs serve from food trucks, which offer an easier and more affordable way to start a business and find a hungry clientele. Korean born chef Mee Ae Wolney graduated from culinary school in Boulder, and worked in a variety of restaurants serving Euro-American food before she and her husband Daniel decided to move to St. Petersburg and get back to her roots. Their operation grew from a 12-foot trailer in 2014 to a handsome, modern, gastrotruck which thrived doing events, weddings and festivals. And then came the pandemic and they faced a crossroads as their established business model disappeared. When the retail space on 16th Street became available, they made the leap to takeout from a brick and mortar location last October. The menu is still focused on the popular comfort food options that were so successful for the gastrotruck. “Anju” is the Korean word for salty, crunchy or spicy food that pairs well with beer or soju, a distilled rice (or sometimes potato) spirit. Soju (~20% ABV) is between wine (~13%) and vodka (~40%) on the alcohol scale, and much stronger than beer, which rarely hits 6%.
full of flavor. I devoured them. And, they also have a tofu version. The Bap Bowl is traditional Korean bibimbap, or mixed rice. A hearty, spicy combo with wafer thin grilled marinated ribeye (bulgogi) plus julienned Asian veggies for flavor, color and contrasting texture (zucchini, bean sprouts, carrots), and importantly, kimchi. It’s made by the same fermentation process that gives us sauerkraut or dill pickles. And it serves the same purpose to balance out fat in dishes and give them liveliness on the palate. Kimchi has really become a popular staple in the U.S., with many home chefs creating DIY versions. It’s a typically Korean condiment, usually cabbagebased and, while pickled, it retains crunch that most sauerkraut lacks. And the final touch is an over easy egg. Then, you mix it up to combine with toasted sesame oil and a mild, medium, or hot sauce, depending on your heat preferences. It’s a delicious mélange of flavor and texture that’s totally satisfying. The chicken and veggie spring rolls are golden and crisp; they’re a manageable size (like a fat
K IS FOR COMFORT: Chef Wolney has two 'signature dishes,' K.F.C. (Korean fried chicken) and the Bap Bowl (bibimbap).
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 17
18 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Sick Burnz
BURNZ ON HOWARD: Date night just got spicier on Howard Avenue.
also has other Korean staples like bulgogi, bibimbap, and kimchi fried rice. Bevvies include Korean beer, corn tea, and Soju, a colorless, distilled alcohol. Just takeout and delivery via GrubHub and DoorDash for now. 14380 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. @kchickenandbowl on Instagram
night at Burnz. It’s supposed to open on April 20. 1704 N Howard Ave., Tampa. burnzrbg.com Mockingbird Brewing Kendra Conze, founder of Seminole Heights pet supply store Health Mutt is relocating and expanding, and her husband Mike—head brewer at Brew Hub in Lakeland—is coming along to open what he hopes to call Mockingbird Brewing (pending trademark). The 10-barrel facility will eventually become home to a core lineup of beers, plus foeder-aged mixed fermentation offerings and expects to be open before 2022. 5023 N Florida Ave., Tampa. @mockingbirdbrewing on Instagram
Coming soon Bento Asian Kitchen Opening at the old Ichicoro Imoto (more on that below), the Florida chain’s second Tampa location and fourth in Tampa Bay should be open in 2-3 weeks. Bento’s menu includes coconut curry tofu, spicy Sichuan chicken, shrimp pad thai and Mongolian steak. The concept’s arrival comes at a time of rapid change at the food hall. In recent months several concepts have both left—including Imoto along with Union by Commune+Co. and Kuba Cocina—and moved in or announced plans to open (Muchachas, Bake ‘n Babes, Buddy Brew). 1910 N Ola Ave., Tampa. eatatbento.com Burnz Two miles north of Bern’s on Howard Avenue in a past location of Piquant Bakery, this West Tampa restaurant serving “authentic Caribbean, Hispanic & American cuisine in [an] elevated setting” brings new meaning to a date
Closing Ichicoro Imoto After opening in 2018, this location at Armature Works quietly shut down last month, but a new Ichicoro is on the way to join the flagship still slinging takeout—and offering delivery via Uber Eats and locally-owned Salt Block Hospitality—in Seminole Heights. News of the Imoto closing comes as Ichicoro’s Ane location in St. Petersburg is still temporarily closed after shuttering last March in the wake of the coronavirus. ichicororamen.com Sophia’s Cucina + Enoteca Less than two years after opening, this popular St. Petersburg Italian restaurant is shutting down at 2363 Central Ave. to make room for Nando Silvestri who’ll open the ‘Matteo’s’ Italian concept in the space. The good news for fans of Sophia’s is that owners Alex and Kelly Rodriguez really aren’t going anywhere. The couple’s new cafe, bakery and market, Sammy + Paco’s, is coming along in Historic Kenwood and slated to open this month, while their Lolita’s catering business hums along.
10 fresh bites of Tampa Bay foodie news. By Stephanie Powers and Ray Roa
T
aking your date to Burnz on Tampa’s Howard Avenue has new meaning starting on 4/20, and the opening of the new West Tampa restaurant is just one of 10 juicy new openings, closings and tidbits of Tampa Bay restaurant news to hold you over until next week, or the next time you log on to cltampa.com/food. Read more about all of these by finding this post on cltampa.com/magazine. Open Corner Club Less than six months after watching its beloved Corner Club dive bar close, residents of Tampa’s Old Seminole Heights neighborhood once again walked back through the doors on Monday. A lot’s going to be different, and you definitely can’t smoke inside anymore, but there’s still karaoke, beer, wine, boiled peanuts and cheese puffs to go along with an updated aesthetic from new owner Jeni Armstrong and new menu from chef Suzanne Crouch. 1502 E Sligh Ave., Tampa. @cornerclubtampa on Instagram K-Chicken & Bowl The Carrollwood restaurant’s fried chicken—available as tenders, wings, or in half and whole portions—can be dressed up in a slew of sauce options like peanut, white onion and honey garlic. The menu
OPENINGS & CLOSINGS
A Lolita’s tasting room at 16 18th St. S is also open for carryout and call-ahead dine-in service. ICYMI Armature Works hosts a ‘Bar Monte’ Italian liqueur pop-up Amaro Montenegro is the spirit of choice at this pop-up creating signature cocktails and staging Monte flights in concert with on-site favorites M.Bird, Steelbach, and Stone’s Throw. It runs Friday, April 16-Sunday, April 18 and Thursday, April 22-Sunday, April 25. Hours of operation are 3 p.m.-9 p.m. Thursday-Saturday and noon-6 p.m. Sunday. There is a mandatory mask policy for guests plus socially-distanced seating and hand sanitizer readily available throughout the pop-up. 1910 N Ola Ave., Tampa. barmonte.com—Alexandria Jones Tampa Bay Taco Takeover starts on April 20, with drink and food specials across the Bay area A portion of the proceeds benefit nonprofit Homeless Empowerment Program during CL’s own 15 day Cinco de Mayo pregame. tampabaytacotakeover.com Tampa International Airport now delivering food to passengers waiting for flights TPA to Go offers free contactless pickup and delivery ($4.99 fee), and it might be worth it, especially if you’ve got a sweet ass seat at the gate. Plus, TPA to Go will bring food to your location no matter the terminal. So, if you want Spanish bean soup or a 1905 salad from the Columbia Cafe, located in Airside E, but you’re flying out of Airside A, it can be delivered right to you. Need some New York, New York pizza from Airside A to go along with the Ulele okra fries in Airside C? No problem. tpatogo.com
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 19
CRAFT COCKTAILS ( SMALL PLATES ( FRENCH VIBES
TACO TU EsDAY 200 E MADISON ST • DOWNTOWN TAMPA • 813-221-TACO
@ CA R ACA R A N E ST
20 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Recently Reviewed: Takeout in Tampa Bay
More to love in the heart of s a fe t y h a r b o r
For now, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s Jon Palmer Claridge—the Bay area’s longest-running food critic—is reviewing local takeout. Until it’s 100% safe to be shoulder-to-shoulder with each other in restaurants, I don’t see CL moving back to restaurant ratings. If you think there’s an out-of-this-world takeout experience he needs to try, please shoot me an email (rroa@cltampa. com). Oh, wear a mask and wash your hands, too. —Ray Roa “Q” Southern Barbecue Chef Cameron Capri cooks up a perfect storm of the best American barbecue. Thinly sliced beef brisket is moist and not overly smoky, pulled pork butt is cooked low and slow to melt in your mouth, Lexington, North Carolina (western) style and meaty St. Louis style ribs are slow smoked until tender. Sauces are all made in house and represent a quintessential overview of popular barbecue styles, and the mac-n-cheese is a full on knockout. $3-$12. 664 Main St., Dunedin 727-734-7227; qbycapri.com Doormét With two locations—one on Central Avenue in St. Petersburg, another off S Dale Mabry in Tampa—both sides of the Bay can get in on the well-oiled takeout operation featuring burgers, salads and fitness bowls and a strong Italian influence with hand-tossed pizzas, pastas, and classics chicken dishes. Saltimbocca is just marvelous, but I’m a sucker for the prosciutto and melted provolone that turns plain hand-breaded chicken medallions into a culinary supermodel. doormet.com Jack’s London Grill This St. Petersburg takeout oasis delivers food that Brits crave. Jack’s fish and chips have crispy ale batter that coats the flaky white fish to perfection. Sausage rolls wrap a hot dog-sized link in puff pastry and bake it until perfectly crispy and seductive. The shepherd’s pie evokes fond memories and pushes all the comfort food buttons while the Bombay chicken curry and lentil pie balances the spices that swathe the tender chicken and legumes in a scrumptious mild coconut curry sauce. $5-$13. 1050 62nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg. 727-289-7170; jackslondongrill.com
Taqueria Margarita Elia Maldonado proudly shares Abuela’s recipes homemade with the freshest ingredients, which instantly recall the pure flavors and aromas of food stalls in the Mercado de Coyoacán (abuela comes from México, Mexico). The array is mostly a familiar list: asada, pollo, el pastor, carnitas, campechano, and chorizo. On some days, there’s decadent and juicy quesabirria served traditionally, as a twice-cooked taco, or Instagram-ready as a tortilla “pizza” with the carne spread between two browned tortillas—and, yes, with a drool worthy consommé for dipping. $2.25-$11. 4001 W Dr. Martin Luter King Jr. Blvd., Tampa. 813-466-2484; @taqueriamargaritatpa on Instagram and Facebook Bodega on Central Designed to thrive in the face of today's challenge, Cubans and pork sandwiches are favorites, and the chicken version is a flavor explosion with contrasting textures. The flattened breast meat is balanced with smooth avocado and mango against crunchy jicama and fiery pickled chilies with some mango mayo. It’s a memorable mouthful for fans of spice. $0.50-$9. 1120 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-0942; eatatbodega.com Bon Appétit There’s no denying these drop dead gorgeous views over Saint Joseph Sound. The lobster bisque has a de rigueur hit of sherry. It’s dotted with meaty bits in a flavorful stock that’s on the less creamy side; tasty, if not sighinducing. The homemade key lime pie is sweet-tart and creamy. $4.95-$85.95. 148 Marina Plaza, Dunedin. 727-733-2151; bonappetitrestaurant.com
GRILL
|
DAVE DECKER
NOW SERVING SUSHI & FULL BAR!
And Check Out Our New Outdoor Seating & Deck!
SUSHI
|
BAR
Join us for dinner Tuesday through Saturday. Call for reservations 727-669-6762
156 4TH AVENUE NORTH, SAFET Y HARBOR, FLORIDA 34695 Ki t c h e n An dBa rAtSa f e t yHa r b o r. c o m
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 21
Discover the elegance of ancient Antioch, relive a historic excavation, and experience the rare treasures unearthed.
Learn traditional printmaking Workshops in - Etching - Lithography - Letterpress - Silkscreen and more. Our gallery space has local and handmade gifts
April 10 – August 22
Drop by during normal hours Tuesday thru Friday 11-4 Saturday 11-6 • Sunday 12-4
Classic Clothing for Women and Men 46 Years of Business in Historic Ybor City
We're open 7 days a week from 12 to 6pm, with after hours private shopping available upon request. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook
@lafranceybor Excavation of Antioch-on-the-Orontes, View of building excavated down to mosaic level with Mount Casius in background, The House of the Drinking Contest, 1939, Princeton University Archives
Sun-Sat 12-6pm
+ after hours private shopping available upon request.
22 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
MOVIES
THEATER
ART
CULTURE
Hops and history
A happy hour favorite returns to St. Pete. By Jennifer Ring
A
fter a pandemic-forced hiatus, “Happy Hour with a Historian” is back at the St. Petersburg Museum of History (SPMOH). A perennial St. Pete favorite, now in its ninth year, the monthly happy hour typically sells out and kicked off this season on March 11. This year, only members will be allowed to attend in-person, which means everyone else must livestream the event. The popularity, however, made me wonder… When and how did history get so cool? Is it just the alcohol talking? Rui Farias, executive director at the museum, has some answers. “There’s always been a lecture series in every museum since the beginning of time I think,” Farias tells CL. But SPMOH didn’t want its lecture series to give folks traumatic flashbacks of 11th-grade history. “We want it to be a conversation, not a lecture.” Most importantly, SPMOH wants it to be fun. And living in Florida, making history fun isn’t as difficult as one might think. “There are so many strange, unique, really cool fun stories about Florida history,” says Farias. “It’s almost like the Florida Man thing is true over the last 200 years.” One of Farias’ favorite Happy Hour with a Historian moments was hearing about the utopian Koreshan Unity Group’s time in Estero, Florida, about two hours south of the Sunshine City. “It was basically a cult that went down there and created this whole community and it’s the typical late-1800s/early-1900s type of utopian community that a lot of people, like the Shakers, started joining back then,” Farias explains. “A lot of people don’t realize that this huge Koreshan organization started in New York, moved to Chicago, and of course found its way to Florida. Farias adds that the Koreshan then basically swindled their way into land in Estero and created a huge community. “They were the first people to have electricity, and they would sell it to Fort MeMyersyers and other towns around the west coast," he said.
"They had stores and gas stations and post offices before anybody else did in Southwest Florida, so there’s all sorts of cool stories about that.” But utopian communities and creepy cults are just a couple of the offbeat topics you hear about when you dive into Florida’s history. “We’ve had stories about Florida ghosts; we’ve had stories about the mafia and the truth about Al Capone,” Farias tells CL. “We’ve had a huge different array of topics that have been really entertaining.” A lot of famous artists, musicians and writers have spent time here, too, which lends another treasure trove of stories for the museum to explore. “A lot of people think there’s this divide between art and historic culture, like with museums and things like that,” says Farias. “I can’t tell you the amount of art that we have in this building. And it becomes part of our history, especially in this town. There are so many amazing stories that deal with the local art scene that’s not local. People came here from everywhere.” And Farias is learning something new every day, too. “I just found out the other day that Peter Max used to hang out here in the ‘60s,” he says, referencing the late German pop artist. “We have this really rich, cool art history and it’s about time that the history and the art world work together hand in hand on this to share these stories.” This year’s Happy Hour with a Historian topics include Bay Area Ghosts, Egmont Key’s role in Florida’s history, mural-making in St. Pete, Florida cuisine, the rise of Tupperware parties in the '50s, archeological digs on Weedon Island, the Second Seminole War, and the stain racism left on a once-popular Florida Governor’s legacy (see a full schedule below). Next up, Orlando author Bob Kealing discusses Jack Kerouac’s time in Florida. The last time Kealing spoke, he talked about Elvis’ journey through Florida.
MUSEUMS
“We want it to be a conversation, not a lecture.”
PAINT AND PINTS: Artist Derrick Donnelly, who’ll lead Happy Hour with a Historian in November. “He was spectacular and the book was really good,” Farias says, “so I’m looking forward to the Kerouac story.” Kealing’s April 8 talk is also particularly exciting because it’s the first Happy Hour with a Historian that SPMOH is livestreaming. So if you can’t get tickets to this popular series, you’ll be able to stream these online starting April 8. View the full list of speakers and topics at spmoh.com or at cltampa.com/magazine. Happy Hour with a Historian at St. Petersburg Museum of History • April 8 Bob Kealing: Jack Kerouac in Florida—Where the Road Ends
• May 13 Dr. John Arthur: Digging Weedon Island • June 10 Dr. Laura Harrison: Egmont Key—Past Present and Future • July 8 Dr. Anthony Dixon: Florida’s Negro War—The Second Seminole War • Aug. 12 Bob Kealing: Life of the Party Brownie Wise’s Tupperware Empire • Sept. 9 Dr. Gary Mormino: Millard Fillmore Caldwell—Governing on the Wrong Side of History • Oct. 14 Dr. Brandy Stark: Bay Area Ghosts • Nov. 11 Derrick Donnelly: City of Murals • Dec. 9 Joy Harris: The Joy of Cooking
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 23
tampabaytacotakeover.com
24 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
#tampabaytacotakeover
FEATURING TACO & DRINK SPECIALS by:
& more to be announced! tampabaytacotakeover.com
#tampabaytacotakeover
A portion of proceeds benefits:
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 25
STOP BY THESE LOCAL BUSINESSES TO ENTER! ST. PETE / BEACHES Five Bucks
247 Central Ave. in St. Pete
The Galley
27 Fourth St. N. in St. Pete
Sloppy Joe’s
Surfside Taphouse 395 Mandalay Ave. in Clearwater Beach
Black Brick
432 Cleveland St. in Clearwater
Hogan’s Hangout
10650 Gulf Blvd. in Treasure Island
499 Mandalay Ave. in Clearwater Beach
VIP Mexican
Jamminz
10625 Gulf Blvd. in Treasure Island
Toasted Monkey
678 75th Ave. in St. Pete Beach
Postcard Inn
6300 Gulf Blvd. in St. Pete Beach
Hurricane Eddie’s
300 Causeway Blvd. in Dunedin
Tarpon Turtle
1513 Lake Tarpon Ave. in Tarpon Springs
26 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
TAMPA
SARASOTA
Whiskey Joe’s
Siesta Key Oyster Bar
7720 W. Courtney Campbell Cswy. in Tampa
Soho Saloon
410 S. Howard Ave. in Tampa
Hula Bay
5210 W. Tyson Ave. in Tampa
411 Mandalay Ave. in Clearwater Beach
Ducky’s
Coco Crush
Green Iguana
317 Coronado Dr. in Clearwater Beach
VIP Mexican
213 Gulf Blvd. in Indian Rocks Beach
1719 W. Kennedy Blvd. in Tampa 4029 S West Shore Blvd. in Tampa
Bad Monkey
1717 E. Seventh Ave. in Tampa
Retreat
123 S. Hyde Park Ave. in Tampa
Epperson Lagoon
31885 Overpass Rd. in Wesley Chapel
5238 Ocean Blvd. in Sarasota
My Village Pub
5200 Ocean Blvd. in Sarasota
Captain Curt’s Crab & Oyster Bar 1200 Old Stickney Point in Sarasota
Sniki Tiki
1204 Old Stickney Point in Sarasota
Gilligan’s Island Bar
5253 Ocean Blvd. in Sarasota
Whiskey Joe’s
5313 19th St. E. in Ellenton
Bridge Tender Inn
135 Bridge St. in Bradenton Beach
Swordfish Grill & Tiki Bar
4628 119th St. W. in Bradenton
Master plan
Here’s what the Bucs should be thinking in the draft. By Carter Brantley
T
he Bucs have officially brought back all 22 starters from their Super Bowl team which is impressive. And if you think about it, they didn’t even really get a full season together (evidenced by the unit’s early struggles and late surge as it found its groove), so things are certainly looking all set for a repeat run. The Bucs also have a draft coming up. And the draft is still the most important part of front office moves. Teams can be built or destroyed by draft choices, and while the Bucs’ track record in this department has been better than most, Tampa Bay needs to continue that trend in order to maintain a winning roster around TB12. Most of these are not needs in the traditional fashion (you know, the way the Jaguars NEED a new quarterback)—these picks are mostly for the future, or for depth. The Bucs won SBLV because the roster lacks the holes many other teams have at so many different positions. So, here are the five positions the Bucs need to address in the draft.
Interior offensive line Ryan Jensen, Ali Marpet and Alex Cappa submitted wonderful seasons. This pick is all about a worst-case-scenario. While it’s nice having Aaron Stinnie return after his stellar postseason performances in the place of the injured Cappa, he won’t be enough. Who’s going to line up at center if Jensen goes down? Who’s replacing Jensen after his contract expires? My favorite answer to this question is Alabama’s Landon Dickerson. The video of the big man doing cartwheels in the background of a pro day interview with former ‘Bama quarterback and likely first-round pick Mac Jones is now viral on Twitter, but that display of athleticism for a guy who is 6 feet 6 inches and 325 pounds is pretty remarkable. He will likely be there when the Bucs pick at no. 32 since most mock drafts have him going in the second round. The Bucs could even get away with maybe trading back for more picks and still get Dickerson. That type of thinking can lead to trouble, as general wisdom says draft the guy you want, don’t get greedy and hope he falls for an extra fifth-round pick, but the Bucs are smart. They’ll do their due diligence, and hopefully that involves drafting Dickerson.
Interior defensive line This is huge. Vita Vea went down last year and the Bucs were able to acquire Steve McLendon to replace him for cheap (the 35-yearold flew in from the Jets in exchange for a seventh-round pick). Don’t expect that miracle to happen this year. Tampa Bay can solve this issue by drafting an interior lineman, not just in case Vea goes down again, but also as an eventual replacement for Ndamokung Suh, who is on a one-year deal for this season. If (and this is a big if) Alabama’s Christian Barmore falls to the no. 32, the Bucs would be wise to jump all over him. Edge rusher D-line and edge positions could be considered 1A and 1B and could easily be flipped. The Bucs’ current lineup of pass rushers is Jason Pierre-Paul, Shaq Barrett and… Anthony Nelson? Obviously JPP and Shaq are absolute monsters, but injuries happen, and Nelson simply isn’t going to cut it as a replacement. JPP is also a free agent after this season, and while a reunion is ideal, the guy is going to be 33 next year, and might take his Super Bowl rings and ride off into the sunset. The Bucs will likely have at least one solid pass rusher to choose with their no. 32 pick (my mock draft has Tampa Bay taking Azeez Ojulari), but in case they don’t, or if they’re not sold on the guy that's there, they can always trade back and continue to stockpile picks to give themselves more depth and flexibility when those voidable years start to hit.
Safety Another position that is more about depth, with Antoine Winfield, Jr. and Jordan Whitehead both locked in as starters. Whitehead and Winfield, Jr. are emerging as one of the best safety duos in the NFC, but they might need help. Both battled injuries in the playoffs, and while Mike Edwards is one good replacement, it never hurts to have a couple. Now, this position might not be addressed until the later rounds, as the Bucs have more pressing needs with the previous three positions, but it still needs to be addressed. Horned Frog Ar’Darius Washington is my personal favorite, as he lacks the typical size of most prototypical safeties, but that’s perfect for the Bucs. He could easily fall to the third or fourth round, and that would pretty much work out perfectly for the Bucs. Running back Going running back again may seem a bit unnecessary—Ronald Jones III and Lombardi Lenny are both back after all—but Tampa Bay still lacks a true dynamic pass-catching back, and TB12 has really excelled passing to guys that fit that mold (see: James White).
NICOLE ABBETT
SPORTS
CHECK YOUR VITA-LS: The Bucs need a good plan if Vita Vea goes down again. The ideal target would be UCLA’s Demetric Felton. Another guy who lacks the size and reputation to go anywhere in the first couple rounds, Felton could be snagged in the third or fourth round, the general sweet spot for drafting running backs. He lined up at both running back and wide receiver at UCLA, but at 5 feet 6 inches he’s more effective coming out of the backfield and running routes. My hope is the Bucs stay patient and don’t pull a Kansas City by drafting a running
back in the first round (I mean, don’t you think the Chiefs could have used some offensive line help instead of Clyde Edwards-Helaire after watching Mahomes run for his life for 60 minutes in SBLV?), because drafting a running back in the first round that isn’t Saquan Barkley or Christian McCaffery tends to not work out very well. But, despite all of that, some draft analysts have the Bucs taking either Clemson’s Travis Etienne or Alabama’s Najee Harris. Let’s hope not.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 27
FULL BAR
Sticky Rice w/
Mango!
Hurry in, only available for a limited time! Open for Take Out & Dine-In
Celebrating 21 YEARS!
(813) 258-5893 RoyalPalaceThai.com
ATTENTION: CITY OF ST. PETE
UTILITY CUSTOMERS!
$300 UP TO IN REBATES AVAILABLE + A FREE RAIN BARREL!
Attend a free virtual workshop:
Tuesday, April 13 · Noon-1:30pm Saturday, May 15 · 9:30-11:30am Email: RainwaterRebates@stpete.org Visit: stpete.org/waterprograms Call: 727-892-5611 Pre-registration is required.
28 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
THE MOST
Ask Gary
Can the new guy keep the Raptors’ playoff streak alive? By Carter Brantley
T
ampa’s Toronto Raptors recently traded Norman Powell to the Portland Trail Blazers for Gary Trent Jr. and Rodney Hood. While Hood is a nice wing player who can provide some decent minutes as a 3&D guy, Trent, Jr. was certainly the prize of the deal. He’s only 22, and provides some dynamite offense at the guard position, something the Raptors have been lacking on the bench. But who is this new guy? The Raptors have an established core of Kyle Lowry, Fred VanVleet, and Spicy P, so where does Trent, Jr. fit? Well, he might have to replace Lowry in the starting lineup next to FVV, as the six-time NBA all-star is dealing with a foot infection, (and looking more in the future, Lowry is set to hit free agency after this season), but Jr. also brings some great genes to the team. Trent, Jr.’s father, Gary Trent, actually followed an eerily similar career path. The power forward began his career with the Trail Blazers, and was traded from Portland to (get this) the Toronto Raptors. Crazy stuff, right? But Trent’s father clearly passed on some of his NBA talent to his son, as Trent, Jr. posted a career-high 31 points in the Raptors’ loss to the Thunder last Wednesday night, hopefully a sign
of things to come, as the Raptors are still 18-30 and very much out of the playoff race. Jr. joins a long list of Raptors on the roster who weren’t super hyped up coming out of college. After a really solid career at Duke, he went to the Sacramento Kings early in the second round of the 2018 draft before having his draft rights traded to Portland (dad was drafted by the Bucks 11th overall, then traded to the Trail Blazers before playing a game for Milwaukee). Why Jr. fell to the second round is a mystery I might not ever figure out. He was a five-star recruit coming out of high school in California and regarded as the best shooting guard in the 2017 class. At Duke he had multiple excellent performances, even posting a double-double in an ACC tournament against Notre Dame. With Trent, Jr. in the fold, the Raptors now have a young starting lineup to start building around. FVV can move back to the point, Jr. can play the two-spot, OG can go back to his original spot on the wing, meaning Spicy P and Chris Boucher can line up as the big men. Hopefully the talent can start to show soon, otherwise the Raptors’ streak of seven straight playoff appearances could be kaput.
Deliciou ouss
WEEK OF THE YEAR IS BACK!
SPORTS
RAPTORS/TWITTER
June 17t h - 27t h, 2021 For a limited time, participating Tampa Bay area restaurants will be offering multiple-course prix fixe menus and more at exclusive pricing!
TAMPABAYRESTAURANTWEEK.COM #TAMPABAYRESTAURANTWEEK
MEAN GENES: Gary Trent Jr.’s follows his dad’s eerily similar career path.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 29
DINE IN • PICK UP • CURBSIDE
HAPPY HOUR IN THE BAR AREA TUESDAY-SUNDAY 5-7 WINE DOWN WEDNESDAY HALF OFF SELECT BOTTLES • DAILY HANDMADE PASTA AND BREAD • FRESH LOCALLY-SOURCED PRODUCE AND SEAFOOD • VEGAN CHICKEN PARM AND VEGAN PIZZAS WE ARE CLOSED ON MONDAYS.
7 1 8 S O U T H H O W A R D A V E N U E , TA M P A | 8 1 3 . 5 1 2 . 3 0 3 0 | A V ATA M P A . C O M
A the 32" PIZZ Introducingst in Tampa Bay! ...the bigge
ople llenge: If 2 peA in a h C g n ti a E New ping 32" PIZZ can eat a 1 top ceive a Free Pizza, re 1 hour... they t and $100!!!! a T-Shir
esaidpizza
sh #thatswhat
30 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
en p O ow
Mighty fine
St. Pete MFA unveils exhibition schedule for 2021. By Alexandria Jones
T
he Museum of Fine Arts St. Petersburg released its schedule for this year’s art exhibitions, and it runs through March 2022. Its first exhibition titled “Antioch Reclaimed: Ancient Mosaics at the MFA” starts April 10 and runs through Aug. 22. The show includes five mosaics from the 2nd to 5th centuries A.D from the ancient Greco-Roman city Antioch, which is located in the area that is now Syria. Visitors can take a glimpse at never-before-seen photos, excavation logs, notebooks, and rare film footage from the 1932 excavation of the city. A virtual “Cocktails and Collections with the MFA” event for April is dedicated to the exhibition. Dr. Michael Bennett, senior curator of Early Western Art, takes everyone back in time with a virtual visit of the exhibition. Register online for the Zoom event; cost is $10 for non-members and free for MFA members. A recipe for a Turkish Delight, the special drink of the night, can be found on the event registration page. A list of other upcoming art exhibitions— including shows featuring Rodin, American quilts, Black portraits and some of the MFA’s photographs and ceramics—with dates and descriptions can be viewed under the museum’s “Upcoming Exhibitions” and below. • April 10-Aug. 22 Antioch Reclaimed: Ancient Mosaics At the MFA
• April 24-Sept. 26 From Margins To Mainstays: Highlights From The Photography Collection • May 22-Aug. 22 Skyway 20/21: A Contemporary Collaboration • June 5-Oct. 17 From Heath to Hedgerow: Doulton Lambeth Ware and the British Countryside • July 31-Feb. 27, 2022 Explore the Vaults: Black Portraits • Sept. 18-Jan. 23, 2022 Pieced and Patterned: American Quilts C. 1830-1930 • Oct. 30-March 20, 2022 Born of Fire: Ceramics from the MFA Collection The Museum of Fine Arts is located at 255 Beach Dr. NE near downtown St. Petersburg. Hours of operation are Tuesday-Wednesday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Thursday-Friday noon-8 p.m. Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., and Sunday noon-5 p.m. And if you’re a healthcare worker, you might want to hold off on heading to the MFA until Friday, May 7. That’s because the museum now hosts a free “Front-Line Workers First Fridays” event which includes cuddles courtesy of therapy dogs from the Alliance of Therapy Dogs and Project PUP, which are available to cuddle and play with noon-4 p.m. Organizers at MFA told WFTS that admission for healthcare workers is free with a workplace ID every first Friday of the month.
MUSEUMS
N
Melts • Smoodies • beer grab-&-Go eats Ono
Hawaiian for Delicious & tasty
685 CENTRAL AVE • ST PETERSBURG • 727-851-9862
KIMIYO MISHIMA, JAPA NESE, B. 1932, B BEKY ÛYÔ MOKUTAN , 2005 .
BORN OF FIRE: Glazed stoneware with screenprint from MFA’s upcoming ‘Ceramics from the MFA Collection.’
911 Central Ave. | St. Petersburg, FL | 33705
buyaramen.com | 727.202.7010 cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 31
32 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Taking a toll
The best and worst new releases you can stream at home right now. By John W. Allman Monday was Florida’s first full day of open eligibility for coronavirus vaccines, with even 16 year olds being eligible for the Pfizer jab. As of Sunday, data showed that more than 6.2 million people statewide—including 358,634 in Hillsborough and 312,879 in Pinellas—have received at least one shot. Still, positivity rates in both Hillsborough (9%) and Pinellas (6%) are still higher than the 5% recommended by the World Health Organization. So that’s why we’ve still got a beefy roundup of the latest streaming movies to keep you safe on the couch. Have a look below to line up your next binge session.
eyes after a long flight. Her ride-share driver Spencer (Max Topplin) is uber-creepy and wants nothing more than chit-chat incessantly. And, then, thankfully, blessedly, mercifully, “The Toll” takes a hard swerve into the unknown when Spencer’s GPS directs him to a detour and suddenly there’s a spectral figure standing in the middle of the road. His vehicle instantly stops working, just after Spencer uber-creepily waxes philosophic about killing someone, and Cami decides to hoof it on foot to find help. Before long, both she and Spencer discover that the isolated forest road they’re on doesn’t conform to the normal boundaries of time and space. They’re stuck in a loop. If one walks off screen to the left, they immediately re-emerge from the right. What’s worse, they discover unnerving messages on road signs that previously weren’t planted along their route. Keep going, I fucking dare you, one such message implores. And that’s before Spencer discovers another message scrawled in the dirt on his back window: Please pay The Toll Man.
Happily ★★★★ 96 minutes, streaming True confession time. Joel McHale, as an actor and as a celebrity, bothers me. I don’t know why, but every time I see him in a role or watch a guest appearance on a show like “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” I can’t help but feel skeeved out by certain statements and mannerisms. Thankfully, then, I can report that not only is “Happily” a great showcase for McHale’s unique personality, but it’s a solid and highly original examination of marriage and friendship wrapped inside a bizarre “Twilight Zone”-esque story. “Happily” is also the feature-length debut of writer-director BenDavid Grabinski, and it makes sense why Jack Black is being heavily promoted as one of the film’s producers. As someone who has been madly in love with the same woman for 19-plus years, I have experienced first-hand the skepticism and criticism that being in a good relationship can cause other couples. “Happily” plays with that idea, building in a science-fiction conceit that envisions a supreme power trying to maintain balance by keeping all couples browbeaten into suburban servitude with diminished expectations. If you’re a fan of quirky comedies that pick at the scabs of our mundane existence, I think you’ll be extremely satisfied watching “Happily.” The Toll ★★★★ 80 minutes, streaming There have been a handful of new horror films in the past few years focused on the advent of ride-sharing, and the inherent dangers that could exist with willingly getting into a stranger’s vehicle. “The Toll,” writer-director Michael Nader’s fantastic debut, starts off exactly like all of those earlier efforts. Cami (Jordan Hayes) wants nothing more than a chance to close her
The Day of the Beast ★★★ 113 minutes, streaming, 4K Ultra-HD, BluRay and DVD Spanish cult director Álex de la Iglesia’s sophomore feature, “The Day of the Beast,” originally released in 1998, gets the deluxe high-definition treatment from Severin Films. As horror-comedies go, “The Day of the Beast” is good, and funny, but not on the same level as say, “Shaun of the Dead.” Still, it’s definitely worth your time if you’ve never seen in large part due to the film’s inspired hijinks and committed performance by the late Álex Angulo as Father Cura, a priest who unlocks the date of the apocalypse but learns he must commit as many sins as possible in
order to be accepted by the Devil so that he can get close enough to kill Old Scratch before the Antichrist is born. Event Horizon: Collector’s Edition ★★★ 96 minutes, streaming, Blu-Ray and DVD For many years, I considered Paul W.S. Anderson’s “Event Horizon” to be a rightful classic that belonged in the same breath as other iconic space-horror films like “Alien.” While I still believe this is Anderson’s best work, period, re-watching “Event Horizon” through Shout! Factory’s lovingly packaged collector’s edition, I now realize that the film is better in small chunks than as an overall experience. That said, I will always have a soft spot for it, especially given how visibly it wears its influences (“Hellraiser,” in particular) with zero regrets. And Sam Neill, coming in hot three years after 1994’s John Carpenter’s “In the Mouth of Madness,” is still an acting marvel when tasked with portraying the evil side of mental illness on camera. His character, Dr. William Weir, remains a delight. continued on page 35
“‘The Toll’ keeps burrowing deeper under your skin.”
SABAN FILMS
FILM & TV
“The Toll” is an excellent mashup, a wonderfully inventive take on both urban legends and serial killer thrillers, that just keeps burrowing deeper under your skin. Nader’s script keeps one-upping itself, allowing for a dizzying array of sequences that test Cami’s sanity, reveal Spencer’s true character and keep viewers riveted until the harrowing climax and final, haunting frame.
HOLD TIGHT: A hard swerve into the unknown drives ‘The Toll’ to excellence.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 33
FREE SPRINKLER CHECK UP (CITY OF ST. PETE UTILITY CUSTOMERS)
SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT NOW WITH ONE OF OUR SPECIALISTS!
(REPRESENTATIVES FOLLOW SAFE SOCIAL DISTANCING RULES AND WEAR A MASK) EMAIL sensiblesprinkling@stpete.org -or- VISIT stpete.org/WaterPrograms -or- CALL 727-892-5611
Limited time offer. Restrictions may apply. Installation of suggested modifications not included in this offer. Partial funding provided by the Southwest Florida Water Management District.
NO CARD NEEDED Cannabis Dispensary • CBD Flower Delta 8 THC Flower • Carts • Gummies All products contain .3% or less of Delta 9 THC
1 3 6 01 6 6 t h St N , L a rg o, F L 3 37 7 1 | 727. 3 3 0.6 2 0 5 34 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Anderson’s Achilles’ heel. “Monster Hunter” is just okay when it should have been, if not great, at least a guilty pleasure for cinephiles
PRETTY PEOPLE PICTURES
LONER RANGER: In ‘Rent-A-Pal’ Brian Landis Folkins escapes solitude by pouring over dating match profile cassettes. continued from page 33 Rent-a-Pal ★★★ 108 minutes, streaming, Blu-Ray and DVD “Rent-a-Pal,” the confident debut by writerdirector Jon Stevenson, may not be the most original horror movie you’ve seen this year, but it’s solidly entertaining and packed with nostalgia for a simpler time, in this case 1990, when singles still relied on pre-Match.com dating companies that swapped VHS testimonials from clients seeking forever love. David (Brian Landis Folkins) is 40 years old and a full-time caregiver to his mother, who has late-stage dementia. He doesn’t work because he can’t leave her alone. He has zero friends. His only escape is pouring over the occasional dating match profile cassettes that he receives from a paid service. Then one day, he picks up a discount bin VHS called “Rent-a-Pal,” which features Andy (Wil Wheaton), another nearmiddle-age schlub who really, really wants to be someone’s best friend. Stevenson’s script hits all the expected beats, from David’s early interactions with Andy, who
at that point is seemingly a scripted character speaking through a television screen, to his inevitable match with Lisa (Amy Rutledge), a young woman who also is a caregiver and is looking for someone exactly like David, to the expected emotional meltdown that comes when Andy becomes more than just Wheaton’s effervescent talking head and suddenly takes control of David’s darker impulses. What elevates “Rent-a-Pal” is Folkins and Wheaton’s performances, as they both transcend their two-dimensional characters on paper to create something deeper, a more unsettling bond than you’re expecting. Slaxx ★★★ 77 minutes, Shudder High-concept, socially-relevant horror isn’t as much of a thing as it should be, especially in today’s uncertain times with global warming, viral pandemics, social unrest and more threatening our existence on a daily basis. “Slaxx,” which hails from Canada, makes a bid to fill that void by infusing its surreal story about a pair of literally killer jeans with a socially-aware
statement on migrant workers in other countries that survive under horrible conditions picking the cotton and other materials that help produce the fashion apparel that fuels our global consumerism. Yes, this is a movie about a possessed pair of pants that slaughters the minimum-wage workers at a high-end retail chain, and it’s a bloody, gory riot. Monster Hunter ★★½ 103 minutes, streaming, 4K Ultra-HD, Blu-Ray and DVD Speaking of Paul W.S. Anderson, his latest film, a live-action take on Capcom’s successful videogame franchise, “Monster Hunter,” shows how far and how little he has progressed as a filmmaker in the 23 years since he made “Event Horizon.” Re-teaming with his wife, Milla Jovovich, whom he helped launch into genre film immortality with 2002’s “Resident Evil,” another video game adaptation, Anderson does a fine job providing a slew of CGI-heavy battles with otherworldly behemoths, but the lack of depth and characterization for his human players remains
Cosmoball ★★ 118 minutes, streaming, Blu-Ray and DVD Yet another Russian import, only this one is a would-be science-fiction epic about life in the year 2071 after aliens have destroyed Earth’s moon and created havoc with extreme climate issues across the globe. To distract from the daily doom and gloom, the remaining population is hooked on Cosmoball, which combines athleticism and gladiatorial combat (think “Rollerball” with alien competitors). If anything, “Cosmosball” is notable for being the best crack at replicating a Luc Besson scifi opus like “The Fifth Element” since Besson tried to match and exceed his own masterpiece with 2017’s gorgeous yet vapid “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.” The Widow ★★ 113 minutes, streaming, Blu-Ray and DVD You would be hard-pressed to find another film critic who was as blown away by 2018’s outof-left-field Russian import, “Mermaid: The Lake of the Dead.” So it makes sense that a new horror film co-written by the two writers of “Mermaid: The Lake of the Dead” would immediately catch my attention. Sadly, “The Widow,” also filmed in Russia, which plays off an urban legend outside of St. Petersburg, in a dense expanse of forest where hundreds of people have gone missing, lacks all of the clever twists and unexpected swerves that propelled “Mermaid” to cult status. “The Widow” also features one of the worst English-dub audio tracks that you’ve likely ever heard, which undermines any ability to invest in the team of rescue responders trying to locate a lost child in the forest. Truth be told, the last 20 minutes or so of “The Widow” are better than the first 90 minutes, but fans shouldn’t have to suffer that long just to see something interesting and/or shocking happen on screen. Witness Infection ★★ 81 minutes, streaming Mobsters, tainted sausage and zombies make for an odd and awkward trio in Andy Palmer’s high-concept horror-comedy, which imagines what might happen if two rival families were accidentally relocated to the same idyllic community to keep them safe. “Witness Infection” throws in an arranged marriage, a host of tired mob movie tropes and some decent special effects, but this is more in line with “The Dead Don’t Die” than any of the inspired takes on zombie cinema that have surfaced in recent years.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 35
PLAY TOGETHER
$65.96 of bowling for $32 at CL Deals .com
2 hours of bowling for up to 4 people. Veterans 5555 W. Hillsborough Avenue Tampa, FL 33634 (813) 884-1475
Midtown 4847 N. Armenia Avenue Tampa, FL 33603 (813) 877-7418
East Pasco 6816 Gall Boulevard Zephyrhills, FL 33542 (813) 782-5511
Bowling Classes: Pin Chasers makes it easy to learn with our 4-week “Have a Ball!” program for adults. Sign-up as an individual, couple or a group.
Make a FastLane reservation at
pinchasers.net
36 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Up all night
Lingerie mogul Rhonda Shear is selling her St. Pete home. By Colin Wolf
R
honda Shear, known as the host of “USA Up All Night,” founder of a massively successful lingerie company, and quite a few notable roles in the ‘80s, including one line in “Space Balls,” is selling her Snell Isle Mediterraneanstyle home in St. Petersburg. Located at 2020 Brightwaters Blvd. NE, the waterfront home was built in 1995, and is nicknamed “Casa de Palm Ahh,” after Shear’s wildly successful Ahh Bra line. Featuring five-bedrooms and six-and-a-half bathrooms, the 9,722-square-foot home comes with a heated saltwater pool and spa, a deepwater dock, a ballroom, three powder rooms, a 2,000-pound capacity elevator, a gym, a theater, a billiards room and more. “Each room is uniquely interesting and eclectic and part of our personality,” said Shear in a 2018 interview with Dupont Registry. “We’ve repurposed the three bedrooms and rooms in unique ways.”
“For example, we created a complete art deco home entertainment theater. Local artist Jeff Walling painted art deco canvases of old movie posters and the Hollywood sign covers a window like a black out shade. With eight leather chairs and state-of-the-art sound system, it’s where everyone wants to hang out,” added Shear. Besides ordering the “Lunafish” at Gus’ Galaxy Grill in “Space Balls,” Shear also played the neighbor in “Married ... With Children,” and also had appearances in “A-Team,” “Dallas,” “Chips,” “Dukes of Hazard,” “Full House,” “Silk Stalkings” and “Happy Days.” “Casa de Palm Ahh,” which is just down the street from the massive Bill Edwards compound, is currently asking $9,030,000 and the listing agent is Chuck Anderson of Keller Williams Gulf Beaches. See more of the home via cltampa.com/magazine.
HOMES
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 37
EST. 1995
BAR | RESTAURANT | MUSIC VENUE LIMITED CAPACITY SOCIAL DISTANCING MASKS REQUIRED
THU
6:30-9:30 | Biergarten | FREE AJ Hall spins classics on vinyl
4/8 The Finest In Funk FRI
4/9
26TH ANNIVERSARY WEEK! W 4.14
7:30-9:30 | Biergarten | FREE
Pete Henry singer-songwriter
F 4.16
6-9 | Music Hall | FREE
SAT
4/10
Sa 4.17
7:30-9:30 | Biergarten | FREE
4/11
Estrella Galicia presents SUNDAY SESSIONS 5:30-7:30 | Biergarten | FREE
IN THE MUSIC HALL
Will Quinlan/Melissa Grady The Wandering Hours 8PM DJ Cub and CatMat 9:45PM
IN THE MUSIC HALL
The Holy Terror/Mike Mass
IN THE BIERGARTEN Lauris Vidal 1PM Jeremy Gloff 7:30PM Steph$ 9:45PM
Rebekah Pulley Twosome Americana/folk SUN
Liam Bauman, Jeff Brawer, Marc Ganancias, Guianna, David Kibby, Taylor Raynor, and Deb Ruby 7-11PM
IN THE BIERGARTEN Treble Hook 7:30PM
Bach to Rock Soundcheck student showcase NEW BELGIUM BBQUSTIC!
IN THE BIERGARTEN
Su 4.18
JSanti 3:30PM The Return Of The Sunset Sunday DJs 6PM
Applebutter Express Duo ukulele funk
810 Skagway Ave | Tampa 813.304.0460 | newworldtampa.com OPEN WEDNESDAY-SUNDAY | 11AM-12AM
IN THE BIERGARTEN
NEW LOCATION! BUSCH BLVD SKAGWAY 275
YUKON
TAMPA BAY’S PREMIER
INDEPENDENT GUITAR STORE
DAILY HAPPY HOUR! 11AM-6PM
$2.50 YUENGLING & BUD LIGHT DRAFTS / $3.50 WELL DRINKS / $4.50 CALL DRINKS & HOUSE WINE
WILD & WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY 6-9PM DINE OUT FOR 2 6-9PM $10 SLIDER BASKETS Choice of APPETIZER, 2 ENTREES $2.50 PBR & ROLLING ROCK TALLBOYS 6-10pm & A DESSERT All for $35
FIND THE PERFECT
GUITAR/BASS/AMP/PEDAL
2 for $35 Tuesdays
5 CRAFT ON DRAFT THIRSTY THURSDAY + 1/2 OFF SELECT APPS FRIDAY 4/9
SATURDAY 4/10
Dave Arazmo
Mclean & Chris
LIVE MUSIC • 7-10PM
LIVE MUSIC • 7-10PM
SUNDAYS
$
FROM
6-9pm
HUNDREDS OF GUITARS TO CHOOSE FROM
BRANDS 10% OFF BRING IN THIS COUPON TO RECEIVE
HUNDREDS OF GUITARS ONE REGULAR PRICED ITEM. TO CHOOSE FROM NO COPIES ALLOWED, MUST PRESENT THIS AD
BLOODY MARYS, MIMOSAS OR SANGRIA
471 MAIN STREET, DUNEDIN FL • 727-736-2BBQ (2227) • THEDUNEDINSMOKEHOUSE.COM
38 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
ALL MAJOR BRANDS ALLTHE THE MAJOR
3944 S. DALE MABRY
REPLAYGUITAR.COM
BRITTON PLAZA, TAMPA
813-254-8880
LOCAL MUSIC REVIEWS
PROFILES
MUSIC WEEK
Lightning Rod
A St. Pete native is Tampa Bay’s first bonafide Spotify superstar. By Ray Roa Sandman wrote last year. “He’s not making generic, cookie cutter music to fit in on the radio. He’s not [deliberately] trying to make viral dance songs or club music. Instead, he’s putting his life stories into his music and it’s paying off.”
COURTESY
W
ith vaccination numbers rising and applications for the Shuttered Venue Operators Grant opening on April 8, Tampa Bay moves one step closer to reuniting with the world’s best up-and-coming artists in its beloved small venues. A local that’s outgrown those rooms is Rod Wave, a St. Petersburg native who’s seen a different figure—streams for his music—rise exponentially since late 2016 when a friend and producer leaked his music without even telling him. Last year, the 21-year-old rapper told Billboard that his first gigs were $500 guarantees for school night strip club shows 20 minutes away from his home. All his friends showed up and sang every word, so the promoter booked him over and again. By spring 2020, Wave, whose real name is Rodarius Marcell Green, was supposed to wrap his 22-date U.S. tour at Jannus Live, a 4.5-mile drive from his old stomping grounds at Lakewood High School. That concert was postponed in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic that’s brought the touring industry to its knees. Wave said his quarantine is basically him “Living a regular life, getting up every day. Spending time with my girl [and] my family,” but as he and the industry hit pause, the numbers on his online catalog shot into the stratosphere. In February 2020, Tampa’s Godfather of hip-hop, DJ Sandman, wrote that Wave was averaging 3.6 million monthly streams on Spotify alone on the strength of his first studio album, 2019’s emotional Ghetto Gospel. The LP’s hit single, “Heart On Ice,” went viral on a social network Wave had no clue about, TikTok. Carl Chery, Spotify’s Creative Director, Head of Urban Music told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that Wave—along with others like NBA YoungBoy and even Morray, who’re all on a brand new “Street Soul” playlist—has carved out a very specific lane for himself. “It really is right down the middle of rap and melody, and it’s very soulful. And I don’t want to call it pain music, but there’s a lot of substance,” Chery, who was Apple Music’s head of curation until 2018, said. “Wave lets all of his emotions out, and that’s what helps connect with people. I love that he’s not following music trends to try and fit in,”
As of press time—14 months after CL previewed that aforementioned 22-date tour—those 3.6 million monthly listeners were up to 9.1 million, a 152% increase. Wave’s Spotify profile started 2020 with 209,000 followers. By February 2021, he had 1.55 million, a 641% increase. And on Monday, April 4, Rod Wave’s new album SoulFly (released March 26) earned him his first No. 1 album on the Billboard 200 (Pray 4 Love peaked at no. 2; Ghetto Gospel hit No. 10).
POPULAR LONER: Wave’s rise to No. 1 is unique in that he never pandered to industry trends. It’s more than paying off. When Spotify shared figures with CL in February 2021, deluxe and non-deluxe versions of Pray 4 Love—a follow up released just four months after Ghetto Gospel—already had a combined 747 million streams. Wave was on nearly 9 million user-generated Spotify playlists and on 148 curated playlists, including placements on aspirational collections like “RapCaviar,” “Today’s Top Hits,” and “Get Turnt.”
SoulFly has been streamed on Spotify alone more than 60 million times. Across all platforms, the 53-minute effort with just one track featuring another artist earned 130,000 equivalent album units in the U.S. Billboard says SoulFly’s numbers mark the biggest week for an R&B/ hip-hop album in 2021 in terms of units earned. (The Recording Industry Association of America “counts album sales, song sales and on-demand audio and/or video song streams at the formula
of 1,500 on-demand audio and/or video song streams = 10 track sales = 1 album sale.”) Justin Bieber, who Wave knocked out of the No. 1 spot, has an Aug. 2 date at Amalie Arena. Wave’s postponed tour has yet to be rescheduled, and you’ve got to think that there’s no way Jannus can hold it. (In the wake of her rising popularity two years ago, Lizzo saw her Jannus show move to Yuengling Center where she eventually performed for more than 7,000 fans.) Wave was not available to comment for this story, but his ascent is no fluke. Last month, J.R. McKee told the “Views From the Edge” podcast about how Wave spent 2018 playing more than 100 shows in Florida. Titles differ, but every record label and most distributors and aggregators have a person like McKee tasked with maintaining a relationship with the streaming services, essentially letting Spotify’s artists and label relations team know when music is coming out. However, Spotify’s team of curators—including Chery—spends most of the day using a platform pitch tool that allows artists and reps to submit music for playlisting. For Spotify’s editors, the tool involves lots of inter-organizational tagging of music and is primarily how songs get surfaced to the platform’s human curators across teams and the globe. Those editors then work to find a place for the tune on one of the platforms seemingly infinite playlists for every mood, moment, taste and desire. “With Rod Wave, guys like J.R. McKee, in addition to the pitch tool, make sure to give us all the information that we need to be able to know what the music is about,” Chery added. “I have to give credit to his label Alamo. I was aware of who he was, but they did a good job surfacing him to our editors to make sure that we were aware that he had music coming.” Chery distinctly remembers the way “Heart On Ice” put Wave on the map in 2019 and the way the record spiked within the Spotify ecosystem. There was a moment when the song was added to “Most Necessary” playlist, but more significantly, there was a stretch going back to 2018 where every time Wave’s name came up the rapper rose in prominence. “That’s not something that happened overnight,” Chery explained. Editor’s note: Chery went deeper about Wave’s success and how hip-hop behaves differently than indie music on Spotify. Jeff Stempeck, Spotify Head of Indies, Artist & Label Marketing, also spoke to CL for the story, and we even talked with local artists about their approach to the platform. Read more by finding the expanded version of this story on cltampa.com/magazine.
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 39
THU APRIL 08 –WED APRIL 14 By Stephanie Powers C
Designated Safe And Sound Venue
FRI 09
Bankaji w/Old Gregg/Joey Paranoia/ Bwoke/Kognitive A Karaoke bar isn’t the first place you expect to see underground bass music, but it’s 2021 and the tailend of a once-in-a-century pandemic, so get on board. Denver producer Bankaji developed his sound in his grandma’s basement, says they grew up on “psychedelic substances and reruns of 90’s kid shows” and promises to replicate “your most favored fever dreams into musical form.” Sounds like a wonky good time, but make sure to bring your mask and keep it on when not seated and actively eating or drinking because the venue says it’s following all CDC guidelines. (Tampa Karaoke VIP, Tampa)—Ray Roa Dennis Ferrer w/Jask By our count, it’s been almost two years since Tampa Bay got a visit from Dennis Ferrer, who last flew in from New York to play his afro-centric house in the basement at Ichicoro Ane back in the
summer of 2019. That St. Petersburg venue unfortunately still hasn’t reopened after temporarily closing in the wake the coronavirus pandemic, so Ferrer is in South Tampa this weekend spinning alongside local favorite and birthday boy Jask. Seating is first come, first served for the gig where masks are required anytime you’re not both sitting and actively eating or drinking. (The Kennedy, Tampa)—Ray Roa ElectroRoll 2.0: DJ Santana/Just Frank/ Dennis Desario In case you needed a reminder, dancing on roller skates is about the most soul-fulfilling thing you can do, and while being inside is still scary for some folks, the United Skates facility in Wellswood has a mask policy that can make many of you feel safe enough. On Friday, DJ Santana and friends are “playing your favorite old school jams with some funky fresh new beats.” The party starts at 9:30 p.m. and goes past midnight. (United Skates, Tampa)—Ray Roa Erika Wennerstorm Erika Wennerstorm— singer for American rock band Heartless Bastards—flies solo a lot these days, and she touches down outside the Safety Harbor Arts and Music Center (SHAMc) this weekend. Originally from Cincinnati—513
holla!—Wennerstorm works out of Austin now, and her sound is a little more emotional, a little more lush, but just as rocking as it is with the Bastards. If you don’t feel something listening to her 2018 emotional single “Extraordinary Love” you might want to ask the Wizard for a new soul. No stranger to the area, Wennerstorm has played in Tampa Bay multiple times with the Bastards, and solo, including opening for Lucinda Williams and Drive-By Truckers at Jannus Live in 2019. (Safety Harbor Art and Music Center, Safety Harbor) La Lucha feat. James Suggs and Ken Peplowski Local jazz trio La Lucha is joined by clarinetist and saxophonist Ken Peplowski and trumpeter James Suggs for a virtual Palladium Live performance. Last year, the Lucha-dors—drummer Mark Feinman, John O’Leary III on piano and Alejandro Arenas on bass—made their Arbors Records debut with the genre-bending Everybody Wants To Rule The World which spent 14 weeks in JazzWeek’s Top 30 chart. The album mixes new original works with reimagined covers of classics by, you guessed it, Tears for Fears and David Bowie. La Luncha’s rendition of Patrick Swayze’s “She’s Like the Wind” alone fills all the
empty holes inside of me. The virtual show goes live Friday night at 8 p.m., but with a one-time purchase you have access to it for 48 hours. Grab some weed, and your weekend plans are made. (mypalladium.org) Marbs w/S.I.D. (Sounds In Dharma)/ Dennis Morales Techno DJ Marbs—who usually spends his time at Burning Man or the Desert Heart “boutique festivals”—is playing a more intimate venue this weekend. The Southern California DJ claims Pink Floyd and Tool as heavy influences, which you can hear in the dark and spacey single “Helix.” The Fader Events produced show has the Ybor City venue at a lowered-capacity with a mask requirement and a temperature check at the door. (The Attic at Rock Brothers Brewing, Ybor City) C The NewArkansans Newark-based band The NewArkansans is in town for a free concert in Seminole Heights. Vocalist Rosie Corcoran and Kelso Gin Whitney, on guitar and harmonica, make up a duo that says it plays “indie-folk and southern-rock soul that meets powerhouse British vocalities.” The duo is a road band that’s already played gigs in Midtown, Davis Islands and in Land ‘O Lakes, so check out its Facebook
Erika Wennerstorm
MARLO MILLER
40 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Pink Floyd Laser Spectacular The music of British psychedelic rock band gets laser treatment during this immersive experience set up in two parts. Dark Side of the Moon is the focus of the first half viewed through 3-D glasses, then it’s on to The Wall with prism
glasses as your specs, using the band’s original master recordings throughout. The show went on sale before COVID-19 so what was once a single seating, is now split into two to make room for social-distancing. At the time of publication, the 7 p.m. performance is sold-out, but there are still tickets available for the later show (and if you’re stoned enough, just go twice). There is still a mask requirement and expect a temperature check at the door. Remember there’s no smoking inside the Mahaffey—of any kind wink, wink—so you should probably make sure your edibles are stocked. (Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg)
#Pound Fridays: Crizzly w/Lizzy Jane/ Bernz Chris Marshall, the DJ known as Crizzly, brings his high-energy EDM antics to this free Friday night gig. The Austin-based producer plays the fest circuit, regularly hitting Electric Daisy Carnival, Escape From Wonderland, Warped Tour and Lollapalooza when large, packed crowds were still safe to gather. Crizzly’s jams are straight slowed down and ready to soundtrack a party scene in a coming-of-age movie, like “Booksmart,” showing a shy teen going to their first kegger. With songs like “Drop Dat Ass” “Ass Clap” and “Ima Go Hard” you know it’s going to get assy. The Friday night show is free if you get on the guestlist available at
sunsettampa.com. FYI, if you go to a show at The Ritz you are automatically “signing a waiver” that says you won’t sue the venue if you get COVID-19—an increasingly common practice these days, but I wouldn’t tell your mom that or she’ll be up all night with worry, as if she isn’t already. (The Ritz, Ybor City)
INTERSCOPE
page if you missed the show and want to check out any other local gigs. Ella’s is still running its dining area at a lowered capacity, with a mask requirement, staying true to its Safe and Sound designation. Tampa isn’t running rogue yet, so please, still act like the pandemic is still happening, because it is. (Ella’s Americana Folk Art Cafe, Tampa)
Hotboii
SAT 10
Hotboii Orlando rapper Hotboii is coming in, uh, hot, at 52 million YouTube views for his 2020 breakout single “Don’t Need Time.” (I may have added a few hundred views to that number in the last couple of days.) Last November, the music snobs over at Pitchfork called the trap artist’s single “Dim” the “must hear rap song of the day.” It’s a heartbreaking hit, too, thanks to lyrics like “I bought a home in the suburbs. I walk out the house, feel like I don’t belong there. Police harass me like every other night. Won’t you let me just live my motherfucking life?” The Interscope-signed rapper has already lived a lot at just 20-years-old, which he talked about in an interview with Complex last fall. One thing is sure, Hotboii ain’t going to be playing smaller venues like Limelight much longer. A promoter listed on the ticketing page told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the Wellswood nightclub holds 1,500 people and that anyone walking through the doors will be required to wear a mask and adhere to all City of Tampa COVID-19 restrictions regarding mask-wearing while not seated and actively drinking or eating at a table. (Limelight, Tampa) Lydia Can’t Breathe w/M99/Shadow the Earth/Level the Planet Central Florida rock band Lydia Can’t Breathe brings its heavy stylings to the Brass Mug for St. Pete’s Rockstar Lifestyle Magazine-hosted show. Born in 2005, Lydia has constantly put out hard-hitting alternative metal, with Kyle Bolduc’s vocals bouncing between Mike Patton-esque rhymes and death metal screams. Opening bands include Ocala band M99, Alachua County metal act Shadow The Earth and Tampa rockers Level the Planet. It’s definitely an earplug kinda night, which is usually the case at the Skipper Road venue. CL reached out to Mug about its COVID-19 protocols and will update this preview online with any response. (Brass Mug, Tampa)
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 41
42 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
Good grief By Caroline DeBruhl
Dear Yboracle, the other day I was getting sun with my three young chickens, a hawk swooped down from the sky above my yard and fatally wounded one. Is this a bad omen for my spring and future ahead? What can I do to escape this fate?—Celestially yours, Darkened Spring Cards: World reversed, Four of Swords, Ten of Pentacles reversed Dear Darkened, First, I am so sorry you saw some sumbitch hawk swoop down and kill your chicken right in front of you. That sounds terribly dramatic, a touch traumatic—and it probably shook you up something mean. While it might be cold comfort, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a bad omen. The Four of swords is removing the ego, so the good news is that this has nothing to do with you. That hawk would have killed something, but only to eat, not out of spite. (Do hawks kill for kicks? Ornithologists, please write in.) It is simply a brutal part of nature (The World) and the part of that bloody path known as “the circle of life.” Ten of Pentacles is the completion of work, and with its earthy energy, it’s an apt metaphor for shaking off the mortal coil. Still, I’m very sorry. That’s really rough, my friend. If you feel so moved to, perhaps you could make a small donation to the Ybor Chicken Society in your feathered friend’s name. They help protect the fauna around these parts, and they do a mighty fine job of it, too. Take care.
or possessions you have. And that fear, coupled with the oh so powerful Devil, can lead to a nasty feedback loop of anxiety and dread and worry that you’ll never be employed again. As someone who was unemployed and underemployed for 18 months, I know how fucking terrible that feeling is. But just because the Devil tells you something doesn’t mean it’s true! Figure out what you can actually see yourself doing, what you want to be doing, and where those two overlap. Then, prepare for what you can. Do you need to take a coding class? Get a teaching certificate? Build a kiln? Let that devilish passion excite you. And then start applying or forging your path forward. Good luck!
ORACLE OF YBOR
Dear Oracle, I recently lost my dear Grandmother first to dementia and then to COVID-19. Though she always loved me she certainly did not always approve of my politics, my appearance, or the gay family I was proudly
raised by. There are so many questions I never asked her, topics I never dared to broach, and now it is too late. Can your cards tell me how to feel more at peace with our relationship and her passing?—Black Sheep Cards: Three of cups, King of Wands reversed, The Hanged Man, Eight of Swords. Black Sheep, I am so so sorry for your loss. This was and still is a painful situation; the Eight of Swords is often seen as a shorthand for “depression,” and it is, but it goes deeper than that. It can be a depression from self-imposed restrictions. Often the card shows a blindfolded woman (mine is simply sleepwalking out a window), which means that we’re choosing to turn a blind eye to our situation and how it’s making us miserable. But, we don’t always put up restrictions because we’re scared or petty or masochists. We often put up boundaries for self-preservation. The King of Wands is a powerful protector. Perhaps this is you, maybe it’s a member of your gay family of origin, but whoever it was, they were not going to let you go into harm’s way. In the suite of intuition, the King knew what was up. Human beings are complicated creatures; this leads to complex relationships and complex love.
You loved your grandmother, and she loved you, but you may still have needed to be protected from her, first by your family and finally by yourself. But that doesn’t heal the hurt. The Hanged Man is a card for surrender, for intuition, and also for improvement. Be very kind to yourself, first and foremost. Grief can be a dark, dangerous sea, and you might have to move slowly through parts. If you have a spiritual or creative practice (or both), that might be something you can lean on to guide you on. Be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and let yourself feel it—and do not be hesitant to reach out to friends and loved ones at this time. Three of Cups, the card of friendship, came out of the deck when I was shuffling. If you have a set of good friends, go ahead and lean on them and ask them for things you need, even if it sounds silly or shameful. And, as always, seeing a therapist, if you can swing it might be a great relief to you. Good luck, my little lamb! Send your questions to the Ybor Oracle to comments@cltampa.com (“SUBJ: Oracle”) or pass them directly to the Oracle on Instagram (@theyboracle).
Dear Oracle, I’ve been unemployed during the pandemic, and now I’m looking for a fresh start, possibly a new career, but I’m not sure what that means. Any advice?—Starting over Cards: The Devil, Four of Pentacles, Four of Swords reversed. At the risk of sounding like a guidance counselor, start with passion. The Devil doesn’t show up unless there’s something substantial pulling at our hearts (a new relationship, work, opioids), and if you’re looking to start something completely new, then passion might be a good north star. It’s also important to give deep contemplation to what you could see yourself doing and make sure it’s not just for an ego-fix but a job you actually want to do. (Plenty of people love saying they’re “a writer,” but not as many like the tedious act of sitting down and writing.) This is what Four of Swords represents. A career change might also require financial risks, especially at the beginning. The Four of Pentacles can be a financially conservative card (savings, trimming spending), but it can also be a paralyzing fear of losing what money
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 43
44 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
By Dan Savage
I’m a 29-year-old straight male. I’ve been with my 25-year-old partner for six years. I love her and think that we are perfect for each other. We have all the things that make existing with someone wonderful. But about two years into our relationship I had a two-week-long affair while I was out of the country. I fucked up. I came clean to my partner and we’ve done our best to work through this over the last four years, but it has obviously caused some trust issues between us. I’ve never cheated it again and I try every day to work through these issues I caused in our relationship. There’s also been two recent instances of me breaking her trust. On a particularly stressful day I was caught sneaking a cigarette—the sneaking part is the issue—and on another occasion I did drugs in our communal back garden with a friend after she had gone to bed. I owned up to both straight away. I view both of these as being a symptom of the lockdown/pandemic prompting me to break with my “normal” behavior. But my partner is no longer comfortable allowing me to have the freedom to go out with my friends and partake in drugs without her express permission, which she already said she’s unlikely to grant me. The other element to this is, we want kids in three years. We’ve agreed that I will fully abstain from all drugs after we become parents. My problem is that I feel trapped between a desire to meet the wants of my partner while also maintaining a degree of autonomy. When we discuss these matters—which we’ve been doing frequently lately—her argument boils down to this: “You did a bad thing, you need to make concessions so that I feel safe, you having to seek my permission makes me feel safe.” It’s coming to loggerheads and I don’t know if I’m the unreasonable one here, especially since I’m arguing for the freedom to do an illegal drug. I would appreciate your external, outside, drug-positive perspective in this.—Don’t Really Understand Girlfriend’s Sentiment
perspective on your dilemma boils down to this: Do not make babies with this woman. Don’t scramble your DNA together with hers—not unless it makes your dick hard to think about begging this woman for permission every time you wanna smoke a little pot with a friend or take a fucking shit for the next 40 years. (And, trust me, you’re still going to want to smoke pot after the babies come.) If that kind of begging excites you, great. Have all the fucking babies. But if that doesn’t excite you… dude… run the fuck away. Yeah, yeah: you did a bad thing. You had an affair four years ago and you made the mistake of telling your girlfriend about it even though 1. she most likely was never going to find out about it and 2. you quickly came to regret it. Your regret wasn’t instantaneous— like you, DRUGS, your regret took a couple of weeks to come—but the fact that you haven’t cheated on her since is a pretty good indication that your regret was sincere. And now here you are four years later, DRUGS, waking up every day and getting back to work on those trust issues. Because you’re still in trouble. Because you made the mistake of telling your girlfriend about an affair she would never have found known about if you had kept your mouth shut. But you know… come to think of it… maybe it was a good thing that you told your girlfriend about the affair, DRUGS. Not because honesty is always the best policy. The famed couples counselor and author and podcaster and Ted Talker Esther Perel urges people who’ve had affairs to consider the “burden of knowing” before they disclose. If you sincerely regret the affair and it’s not going to happen again and your partner is not in any physical risk and is unlikely to hear about the affair from a third party, sparing them the burden of knowing is the second-most loving thing a person can do. (Not cheating at all would, of course, be the most loving thing a person can do.) So to be clear, DRUGS, I don’t think telling your girlfriend was the right thing to do because all affairs must be
SAVAGE LOVE
I had some emergency dental work done this morning and I’m a little strung out on… what are those things called again? Oh, right: drugs. Last night I selected the letters I wanted to respond to in this week’s column and I really didn’t expect to be on powerful painkillers when I sat down to write my responses today. In all honesty, I probably shouldn’t be operating advice machinery at the moment but deadlines are deadlines. You should take my advice with a grain silo or two of salt, DRUGS, and everyone else should just skip this week’s column entirely. OK! DRUGS! Here we go! My outside, external, drug-positive-but-with-caveats (see below)
with your friend but I’m gonna assume it was weed—which is legal where I live but not where you live. There is, of course, a big difference between stepping out to smoke a little pot after the girlfriend has gone to bed and sneaking out to smoke a lotta meth. And if you’re an addict and a little pot has led to a lot of harder drugs in the past, your girlfriend’s zero tolerance policy might be justified. But if we’re not talking about hard drugs and you don’t have addiction issues, DRUGS, you shouldn’t have to beg your girlfriend’s permission in advance—which she’s denied in advance—to smoke a little pot with a buddy. I’ve been listening to old episodes of the “Savage Lovecast” while working from home. Yesterday I heard you explain to straight male listeners that their straight female partners would say “yes” to sex more often if “sex” didn’t always mean the woman getting fucked. That really resonated with me, a straight woman with a male partner. When my husband came onto me the next night and I didn’t feel like opening up to get basted, instead of saying “no” I offered to jerk him off while he sucked my tits. It was great—for both of us! Total win! Thank you, Dan Savage!— Joyfully Enjoying Relevant Knowledge You’re welcome, JERK! It’s always nice to hear from folks who’ve taken my advice and didn’t regret it! Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter and bookmark savagelovecast.com.
JOE NEWTON
Concessions
disclosed. I think telling your particular girlfriend was the right thing to do because she’s telling on herself now. If she doesn’t feel like she can trust you ever again—and if she’s constantly on the lookout for new reasons why she can’t trust you—then she needs to end this relationship. But she hasn’t ended the relationship, DRUGS, and you need to ask yourself why she hasn’t. I have a hunch: She hasn’t ended it because she likes it this way. Someone who cheats and gets caught and discloses and wants to make it right can expect to spend some time, well, making it right. They should expect to spend some time in the doghouse and, to extend the metaphor, they should expect to spend some time on a short leash. But a person can’t spend the rest of their life in the doghouse. A cheater has to take responsibility and be considerate about insecurities the affair may have created or worsened. But if a cheater has done all that and years later the person the cheated won’t let them out of the doghouse—or is constantly finding new reasons to keep the cheater in the doghouse—then the doghouse is where the cheated wants the cheater. Forever. Which means instead of being angry you cheated on her, DRUGS, on some level your girlfriend is delighted you cheated on her. Because the wrong thing you did allows her to control you for the rest of your life. But it shouldn’t. And if she insists it does or that it should, DRUGS, you should leave her. About those caveats: You don’t specify the drug you used in the backyard
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 45
46 | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | cltampa.com
1 5 9 12 17 18 20 22 23 27 28 29 30 31 32 39 41 42 43 44 46 48 49 50 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65
GO FIGURE by Merl Reagle ACROSS Negative yardage, e.g. Word in the definition of “akimbo” Bridge action Syrian president Whale movie Made one’s way sideways Brainstorm Jargon A classroom contradiction J.P. Morgan, for one Author Amy This second Final analysis The Hartford’s bus. With 98 Across, an Italian contradiction Work on the copy desk CBS competitor Refrain from A snap ___ Enter Uncoordinated one Mrs. Michael Corleone Columbus’s mo. With 80 Across, a dietary contradiction Computer command Paper amount “Put the bracelets on” Care-limiting co. Gutenberg’s city Ill-mannered one Turf Philippine island
1
2
3
66 With 68 Across, a driving contradiction 68 See 66 Across 71 Forest grump 72 Little yipper 73 Muffin ingredient 74 Author-poet Heinrich 75 Bally follower 76 Canadian flag image 78 Resist stubbornly 79 Writer Zora ___ Hurston 80 See 50 Across 84 Manage 85 Start of a pencil game 86 Droop 87 Parlor items 91 Twice LVI 93 ___ Lawrence College 95 Layer? 97 “Little” Dickens girl 98 See 32 Across 103 Presidential nickname 104 Say the wrong thing 105 Robot work 106 Fairness arbiter 107 Brunei bigwig 109 A pugilistic contradiction 116 Coarse stuff for manicurists 117 The going price? 118 Danger 119 Party cheese 120 Put back to 000 121 On the ___ 122 Ram, for one 123 Cauterize DOWN 1 Had a specialinterest job
4
5
17
6
7
24
40
44
33
34
50
51
67
71
72
12
53
104
105
Licensed Massage & Spas
16
CUSTOM ODESSA ESTATE!
to advertise: phone - 813-739-4800 email - acarbone@cltampa.com
56
MASSAGE BY BUTCH @ THE RELAXATION STATION Strong Hands with a Gentle Touch 19 Years Experience IN CALL / OUT CALL 8am till 10pm 7 days
57
Seeks Furnished Room in Clearwater
96
88 97
102 107
122
MASSAGE
Female Therapist 7 DAYS! 9AM-5PM, $40 In-Call Sandy
727-822-4020 MA23220
LIFE IS GOOD!
Employment/Help Wanted
101
118
A PROFESSIONAL
Retired professional, successfully recovering from cardiac procedure. Currently uses walker. Has transportation. Ideal location near Morton Plant Hospital or Pinellas Trail (Downtown). Seeking monthly rental. Willing to pay an attractive rent for the right place. Motivated. References provided & expected. Start date flexible. No Stairs. Private bath would be ideal.
70
87
114
MM#6181
Vaccinated 72Yr Old Male
83
113
817.228.2990 Cash/Credit Cards Accepted
Housing Wanted
Call or Text to discuss: 727-215-5944
86
103
89
90
119
ARTIST MANAGER
HIRING:
LICENSED PROFESSIONAL P/T COMM ONLY MULTI GENRE www.chansonsnow.biz
SERIOUS ONLY: 727-455-7139 chansonsnow3@gmail.com
774-1640
HARDCORE ADULT TALK Busty Babes, Ebony Hotties or Older Ladies - Ur Choice! 866-515-3699 Only $10 Per Call
METROSEXUAL CONNECTIONS STRAIGHT, GAY OR BI 800-538-2428 Only 20 Cents Per Minute!
STATE CERTIFIED FISH HATCHERY
IN PORT RICHEY - $200K
DELUXE PACKAGES STARTING @ $199 (813)
EROTIC PHONE CHAT REAL Fun Singles! 800-SEXY-GAL 800-739-9425
Business Opportunity
Services - Creative
SOMEONE A BOUDOIR PHOTO GIFT! J
John LaRocca REALTOR® John@MyHomeTB.com 813.990.748
FOR SALE
BE A CENTERFOLD GIVE YOURSELF OR THAT SPECIAL J
Built in 2010 by interior designer Paul Lewis. 3,517 sq ft, 3 BR, 4 BA, 2 CG w/ workshop/storage, Dock w/ lake access + Pergola! 50 YR SLATE ROOF, 10’ ceilings. WALNUT CABINETRY, BRAZILIAN STAR BEACH GRANITE, CABINET FACED SUB-ZERO fridge/freezer. Enjoy the LAKE LIFE on your deck, overlooking SERENE CYPRESS trees & FRENCH INSPIRED landscape. Located in the highly coveted STEINBRENNER SCHOOL DISTRICT. Offered at $1,495,000.
Call 727-403-3544 Lic# MA33860
Work in TV Commercials, Films, Magazines, etc. All types, sizes, races & ages.
Call/Text NOW: 1-800-863-8865 TonksTalentNetwork.com
123
A Warm Lotion Therapuetic Massage. Once is not enough.
BECOME A MODEL OR ACTOR!
108
115
ADULT/Models
From Deep Tissue to Lighter Pressure. Call for specials. 727-744-0254
cltampa.com 55
Real Estate For Sale
RELAXATION MASSAGE
D E E S L L A
65
106
121
E D G E
79
100
117
T E N N
61
95
112
S H O T
38
54
69
94
111
15
A C T S
74
85
99
14
S T E A M
classifieds
60
78
93
13
B I N G E
49
73
84
98
37
48
82
92
S A S K E L K E A N R A A T L I NQ E U YO R
R A P B A L I L N T S DO T T ON F ORD R I N OD S P C OW T E K A I R F ORR E A T E N T S D A SO U S C L I T WO L A OA D N S A I L A S H ROS H E U S E E L E T A RD
22
64
77
E M I G R E S
30
68
81
110
11
H O R S E
43
63
66
91
R S T A T E S NOV A P P A L M P B B A L A Y H E R E R E R I E C A T E R L A V S S A T E WA MS F A T B U I L T A P S E C S S A H A T E NOR E Y C A R EME R Y S C I DO H A L L N A R E D ME R S
36
52
62
80
A C G V I I I N T V E A S T W I T T I E O T H E R ME A L S B AWL S T H A V A ND E R A ROOM S CR I P T T OMT A T R T OUGH S E N S U E S E A T I N L AG R E A L E SO
21
59
76
E L A N
26
35
47
58
75
P A L E R
42 46
PUZZLE FANS ! For info on Merl's Sunday crossword anthologies, visit www.sunday crosswords.com.
29
41 45
92 Persian king 93 Blue cartoon character 94 Car-radio aid 96 Get cozy 98 Bowling legend Dick 99 The PBA, e.g. 100 Knievel feat 101 Stephanie Zimbalist’s dad 102 Big ___, Calif. 108 Lofting shots 110 Urge to throw things? 111 Manhattan newspaper monogram 112 Gun grp. 113 Shiny keepsake 114 Prohibition, for one 115 Nothing
Solution to Silly U. S O L V E
25
32
39
120
10
57 No good, as milk 58 Speaker of the house? 62 Animated myope 63 Poker stratagem 64 Antes, for example 65 Auto repair authority 66 The Roy in Angels in America 67 WWI plane 68 Raise, as an eyebrow 69 New York stadium 70 Seuss’s Horton ___ a Who 73 Merchants on Pork Avenue? 76 Schmeling smasher, 1938 77 Millennium 78 Actor Keith 79 Israeli desert 81 Pleased look 82 Other, to Jorge 83 “Oh, very funny” 88 Full-length film 89 Mother Teresa’s birthplace 90 Svelte 91 Auto trim
20
28
31
116
9 19
27
109
8
18
23
2 Magic home 3 Digitizes for computer use 4 Hopping-race need 5 Abraham’s home, in the Bible 6 Promising words 7 Country club grp. 8 Mattress maker 9 Pen maker 10 Humphrey’s High Sierra costar 11 Mischievous Mitchell 12 Type of math. 13 Sidney Poitier, to Lulu 14 Villainous looks 15 The CIA, for one 16 War orphan of 1950s comics 19 1944 event 21 Better than 24 Crucial 25 Food stand 26 Ovine one 33 Wolf pack unit 34 Operation mark 35 Fortify anew 36 Funny Martha 37 Drink for the palpitation-prone 38 Chow 40 “You were only waiting for this moment ___” (McCartney lyric) 45 A hand for Morticia? 47 Cavalry comedy of ’60s TV 49 Word after buzz or flake 51 Singer Stuarti 52 Cry of pain 53 Tree-to-be 54 African antelope with corkscrew horns 55 “___ and only” 56 Permeate
WITH AQUAPONIC STOCKING
RECESSION-PROOF BUSINESS CALL
727-415-6334
RESTAURANT FOR SALE! 6 MONTHS FREE TRIAL
PLEASE CALL
813-784-1666 FOR DETAILS
Trans Model Yazmine:
813-508-1441
cltampa.com | APRIL 8 - APRIL 14, 2021 | 47